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Steve opened his eyes. He saw stars, in the dark sky. He wasn’t sure if it was a dream or if it was the present. Of course, he never forgets the possibility that SHIELD might have saved him from the water and was playing tricks on him all over again.
But when he heard the voice, Bucky’s voice he was sure that this was real. That he was finally with Bucky and that nothing could ever separate them ever again.
~
The first Avenger finally rests in peace.
Was Steve Rogers really the honourable man that he was said to be?
Who was Captain America’s lover?
The real reason why Captain Rogers killed himself, twice.
America’s greatest hero and his dirty little secret.
Tony shoved the papers down, furious with the way the media pays homage to Steve. He remembers disliking the captain once, but he’s learnt to respect the older man now. Especially after understanding him as person, Tony realised that Steve was just a flawed being, as Stark was himself.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” He hears Pepper telling him, after pressing his hands against hers. She’s been right beside him from the moment that he woke up and sat on the lounge.
“I owe him this.” Tony says firmly. He’s been through so many conferences, faced an unimaginable number of judgmental crowds. But when it comes to talking about a friend, someone who had his back during battles, he’s never been any more nervous than this before.
“You sure?” Pepper assures again.
“Yeah. Besides, Natasha and the rest will be there. So it’s not like I’m gonna be facing all those sharks alone.”
Pepper gave a weak smile. She ushered him to get dressed and calmed him through his tenth anxiety attack for the week, the second one for this very day. She was right beside him even when The Avengers were asked a million questions about Steve Rogers. She held his hand, gripping it tight when she could feel Tony getting tensed up, even when he’s got his calm demeanor as a cover for the cameras and microphones.
“Is it true that the man that Steve Rogers carried down the river was Bucky Barnes, a member of the Howling Commandos, who was originally assumed dead?”
“Yes.” Clint answered.
“James Buchanan Barnes was the Winter Soldier, and has committed high profiled crimes throughout his years under ..”
“But he was brainwashed!!” Natasha had interfered.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that he did all of those things. He still murdered innocent people.”
“But it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his..”
“The question is, even knowing that he was a criminal, Steve Rogers saved him right?”
“yes.” Natasha answered with her teeth gritted against each other.
“And doesn’t that make Captain Rogers an accomplice, a traitor to his own country?”
“Steve Rogers has probably saved this world more times than you could ever imagine, and you repay him by calling his a traitor? Do you know many times he has put his life in line for your lives, for your grandparents even?” Natasha fired back.
“Was he in love with Sergeant Barnes?”
“We all were.” Pietro gave a sharp answer. It was not as if he had lied about it either. Everyone loved Barnes as if he was their own family, he wasn’t a stranger to them. The avengers had always been ohana.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What my fellow friend is trying to ask is whether the Captain was sexually involved with his second in command.”
“That’s none of your goddamn business.” And that’s how Tony ended the whole conversation. He hated how the media pried on their relationship. He knows that Steve and Bucky tried so hard to keep it a secret, especially when they were still kids, even when they were in war. And he’s going to respect that. Tony’s not going to lie about it, because Steve Rogers never did lie about anything. But Tony’s not going to talk about it openly either, because he understands that Barnes would have preferred the privacy. Both men had been raised that way.
Even if Steve had loved Barnes more than just a friend, it wasn’t up to society to decide whether it was wrong. It was up to Steve and Bucky themselves. Nothing is more important than their own happiness right?
And Tony remembers quite well what Steve’s opinion on the matter would be because the blonde has always made his stand pretty clear.
It doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle, above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the world tells you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the world, no you move.
~
“You’re awake?”
Steve would have recognised that voice even if he was on Mars. He looked below, and he could see Bucky was right there. His head on Steve’s chest , like back then when they were still alive and were sleeping with each other.
“Yeah,” the blonde answers.
“You’re stupid you know that?” Barnes eventually woke up, sitting. His back was facing Steve.
Steve mirrored his actions, he placed his hands over Bucky’s shoulders. “You were always the reason that I was stupid, Buck.”
“You left the world for what? For this?” Bucky shook off Steve’s hands, trying to show his dissatisfaction with Steve. And the blonde could indeed see that Bucky was disappointed with Steve’s actions.
“I’ve always followed you Buck. You know I have.”
“But every time I left, it was so that you could start over, so that I wouldn’t be a burden to you.”
“Hey.” Steve tried to put his hands over Bucky’s shoulder again. And when Bucky didn’t move away like he had done earlier, he moved his hands slowly down the brunette’s hips. “You were always my number one, Buck. I wouldn’t be nothin’ without you. You saved me. You raised me up”
“But, I’m not worth your..”
“ Shhh.. don’t you ever say that again. Okay? Promise me that.”
Bucky doesn’t answer.
Steve lowers his lips this time, his redness against Bucky’s ears, his breath against Bucky’s nape. “You remember this place, don’t you?” Bucky gives a weak nod, he’d never forget it for the world, the place that they had first kissed. Steve stands up, extends his hand towards Bucky.
“So would you dance with me?”
Bucky keeps quiet, bites his upper lip a little.
“Please?”
Bucky stands up, his right hand on Steve’s shoulder while his left; it wasn’t metallic anymore, it intertwined with Steve’s right one. He didn’t look up at Steve’s face, his eyes were glued to the ground.
“Buck.”
Bucky looked up. Steve pulled his left hand placed it under the brunette’s chin. “You’re beautiful you know that?”
Bucky didn’t agree though. Steve was always the beautiful one, the perfect one, the pure one, to him.
“I know you’re angry, but I wanted..” Steve tried to explain his actions.
“It’s okay. Just forget about it.” Bucky says.
Steve nods and moves according to their rhythm. He leads the way. Bucky had lead him twice now, in the same forest, under the same stars and surrounded by the same nothingness that they used to love. They never wanted people to watch them back in the past and it’s not like they enjoyed the crowds now.
They’ve waited to do this forever, waited to fall in love over and over again. But Steve could sense that nothing would ever be that simple.
Bucky moved closer, his eyes warm and wet and the same time against Steve’s uniform. The blonde knows that Bucky is crying, because Bucky rarely sheds tears, and when he does, he’s usually extremely quiet, just like how he’s acting with Steve now. The blonde works his nose against the ex-sergeant’s neck.
Steve pulls Bucky’s head gently, wipes his tears and kisses him.
“It’s okay Buck. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. I don’t know if this is real or if this is just a figment of my imagination. But you know what, no matter what this is, or what happens, I’ll always be by your side. Just like how you were, back when we were in Brooklyn. If this is forever, I wouldn’t mind dancing with you all night. I would love to stare at your face and kiss you, tell you how much I love you until you get all of that into that thick skull of yours.”
Bucky doesn’t say anything, he tries to process the whole situation. Even though he had woken up a few hours before Steve, he was just as clueless as Steve was.
Maybe there’s no such thing as a heaven, Bucky assumes. Maybe after people died, they just remained in loopholes of their favourite memories or maybe they meet up their loved ones and stay by their side for an eternity.
But one thing was for sure, Bucky wouldn’t mind it either, dancing with Steve forever. He’d love to be by Steve’s side, because that’s all that he ever wanted ever since they were kids. “Stevie?” the brunette said in a small voice.
“Yeah?”
“I love you. I never got to complete my sentence back when I was..”
“I love you too, Buck.”