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In a month, a dozen or so heavenly officials, two ghost kings, several regular kings, various martial gods and literature gods and fallen gods, and an assortment of ghouls and spirits and wraiths, are all about to descend on Taicang mountain.
Why, you ask? Why, to celebrate Xie Lian’s birthday, of course!
It’s been over a hundred years since Xie Lian was properly celebrated like the crown prince he was. A hundred years since anyone has invited him to a banquet and feasted in his honor. It is a long stretch of blighted years that Hua Cheng intends to fully make up for.
Hua Cheng understands the assignment. He intends to make this banquet grand enough to rival the three-day-long festivals of Xian Le. And alas, to throw a proper banquet, there must be guests.
He keeps it a secret from Xie Lian for a grand total of three days, which is more than enough time to get Yin Yu started on planning, to get the Black Water Demon out of his cave to run errands and to get the entire ghost realm whipped into a frenzy of excitement. By the time Xie Lian finds out, it’s too late to stop.
Not that Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to put a stop to it if he absolutely hated the idea. But then that would mean saying no to Hua Cheng’s face, wasting three days of effort from multiple people, and disappointing the entire ghost realm. So, with only a mild amount of guilt-tripping, Hua Cheng gets the go-ahead.
Hua Cheng is not inexperienced. He knows how to delegate. Certain tasks, however, require an in-person invitation. Certain gods, for example, tend to ignore anything that lands in their inbox and require a certain amount of extra persuasion. Or blackmail.
Strangely, the invitation to their banquet is met with a little bit of hesitance from the people Hua Cheng thought were most likely to say yes. Feng Xin and Mu Qing both blanch, quibble, avoid meeting his eyes and speak vaguely about other plans. It’s only when his anger shows (how dare they be busy on Xie Lian’s birthday) that Feng Xin sheepishly asks if Xie Lian will be preparing the dishes himself.
“Of course not,” Hua Cheng says, offended. “It’s a feast in his honor. Why should he have to lift a single finger to serve the likes of you.”
Mu Qing rolls his eyes, but Feng Xin visibly sighs with relief.
“Of course we’ll be there,” he says. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”
Hua Cheng lifts an eyebrow at them, letting the silent implication sink in. They are no longer Xie Lian’s retainers, responsible for help. They’d let that duty lapse a long time ago.
“I’ll let you know,” he says. Best not to rub salt in the wound too hard. Xie Lian was under the impression that the three of them were getting along better these days.
The ghouls and ghosts and anyone in the demon realm are much easier to handle. Hua Cheng doesn’t even need to send out invitations. He just lets the word spread. There will be a banquet held in the Crown Prince’s honor. Everyone is invited. There, done.
That is, until he hears word that the ghosts have collectively organized themselves into raiding parties and intend to set fire to various temples and cause chaos in the human realm as a part of the celebration. Then he has to send He Xian after them and beat them into submission and make them understand that there would be no looting or arson or killing or rabble-raising as a part of the banquet. Well, not an extreme amount. After all, what was a banquet without some drama?
Yin Yu asks with a straight face if he will be expected to keep the entire ghost realm in line, after Hua Cheng himself has whipped them into a frenzy of excitement with promises of free food, games, competitions, and lantern shows. Hua Cheng replies that he expects no less. Yin Yu asks if he should also be organizing all the aforementioned promised things in addition to his ever-growing pile of tasks. Hua Cheng stares at him until Yin Yu nods wordlessly and leaves, which is the closest he’s ever gotten to insubordination.
Hua Cheng sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He sends a message to the Black Water Demon telling him to help. At least He Xuan is easy to bribe. He will do anything for food, and Hua Cheng has plenty of that. Still, god or ghost, they’re all such a pain.
“You’ve been running around so much for my sake,” Xie Lian says, with some trepidation. He has been watching Hua Cheng flit away from his side more and more often of late, preparing for a feast that somehow grows more and more into a logistical nightmare every day. “You should take a break.”
Hua Cheng instantly drops his pile of tasks for the day. Literally. Yin Yu grunts in pain as Hua Cheng deposits stacks of heavy invitations in his arms and steps away. Then, like the good underling he is, Yin Yu immediately bows and makes himself scarce.
Hua Cheng turns to Xie Lian, who is looking up at him with a soft, amused smile. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says.
Hua Cheng can’t help but smile back. He reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind Xie Lian’s ear.
“I enjoy doing it,” he says simply.
“Threatening small ghosts?” Xie Lian asks, tilting his head. “Sending letters to various temples? Drawing up seating charts?”
Hua Cheng lifts his chin up and smiles. “Anything is fun if I’m doing it for you.”
Xie Lian bats at him. “You’re running poor Yin Yu ragged.”
“He enjoys it too,” Hua Cheng immediately says. Yin Yu is not around to deny it, and also wouldn’t dare to.
Xie Lian huffs with amusement. Then he reaches up to turn Hua Cheng’s face toward him. His expression grows thoughtful.
“Will you really enjoy it?” He asks. “I know you don’t think too highly of the heavenly officials. Having them in your realm must be putting a strain on you.”
“Not at all,” Hua Cheng says easily. “As long as they remember whose territory they are in, we won’t have any trouble.”
“And the lantern shows? And all the games?”
“I’ve always wanted to join in the fun when I was younger,” Hua Cheng says. “Now that I can do anything I want, why not?”
Xie Lian smiles in amusement, but his thoughtful gaze drops down to Hua Cheng’s mouth, where it lingers.
“And the food,” Xie Lian asks. “Do you taste anything when you eat?”
Hua Cheng lets his thumb drift down the line of Xie Lian’s cheek, down to his bottom lip. He lets his thumb rest there for a moment, thinking.
Xie Lian slowly colors, but he lets his mouth fall open just a little, enough that Hua Cheng could slip his thumb inside if he wanted to.
“I can,” he says and gently presses down harder on Xie Lian’s lip as a wordless reassurance.
Xie Lian still feels guilty, sometimes, about the role he played in Hua Cheng’s first death. But Hua Cheng doesn’t mind. As a ghost, his sole job is to remain on this earth haunting the object of his obsession. It is not a job he takes lightly
“If you want,” Hua Cheng says. “You can help me prepare. My underlings are doing most of the work, but there are some tasks that I can’t possibly trust anyone else with.”
“Of course!” Xie Lian nearly jumps at the opportunity, looking relieved. He had been afraid that Hua Cheng’s preparations would result in less time spent together.
Hua Cheng dips his head down to steal a kiss, simple and sweet.
“Then get ready,” he says with a grin. “We’re going fishing.”
There’s a golden carp that lays its eggs upstream of the Yinian River. Its scales are said to shine like metal and are apparently as hard as pebbles to the touch. The largest ones grow to about the size of a grown man on his side. Its meat is soft and white and tender, fit for the gods. To catch one, it was said, meant bringing good luck and fortune to your family for a whole year.
Hua Cheng takes Xie Lian to the source of the river, high up in the mountains, as far away from the ocean as they can get. The biggest and strongest carp swim all the way up here, he explains. Some of them can survive near-freezing temperatures, are strong enough to break through the thin layer of ice that sometimes forms, and wriggle all the way up to the part of the mountain that’s nearly shrouded in clouds.
It takes them the better part of a day to reach the mountaintop, walking leisurely up the carved dirt path. When they reach the summit, the thicket of trees part to reveal a wide, glassy lake.
It is here, Hua Cheng explains, that they will catch their golden carp.
It quickly becomes clear that Xie Lian is not good at fishing. Or, more accurately, it does not seem like Xie Lian is good at fishing fish.
His first catch is a small branch from a nearby tree. Then he gets some twisted metal wires, rusted over and clearly from another age. Then he fishes up, in quick succession, a waterlogged tome of some kind, a left bamboo sandal, a turtle shell sans turtle, and an old Buddha statue.
Xie Lian sheepishly sets the last one beside him, next to his growing collection of odd things, and bows to it quickly in apology.
“I’m not sure I’m the best person suited for this job,” he says, glancing sideways at Hua Cheng, who is staring at him adoringly. (His Dianxia is so talented. There is no one else in the world who could fish up such an amazing assortment of things. No one.) “Maybe you could try?”
“Nonsense,” Hua Cheng says cheerfully. “I’m sure the fish just aren’t in season yet. Want me to go down and check?”
“No, no no no,” Xie Lian says hurriedly. He tries to hand over the fishing pole to Hua Cheng but to no avail. “I think, with my luck -”
Hua Cheng takes his wrist to stop him, then kisses him on the cheek.
“Don’t give up,” he says encouragingly. “I’m sure they’ll show up soon.”
Xie Lian blinks at him suspiciously. “Did you just give me some of your luck?”
“I don’t need it anyway,” Hua Cheng says, standing up and stripping off his tunic.
Xie Lian almost averts his eyes, before remembering that it’s just the two of them there. He clears his throat lightly as Hua Cheng undoes his belt, and tosses the majority of his clothes off to the side in a pile.
“Be right back,” Hua Cheng grins over his shoulder at Xie Lian’s flustered expression.
“Wait, it’s cold -!” But it’s too late. Hua Cheng has already dived into the lake, sending up a splash of water. Soon, he is a dark shadow in the lake, sending up small bubbles in the water.
Xie Lian fidgets a little, now alone on the lake shore. He feels a creeping, uncomfortable sense of guilt. He had asked for Hua Cheng to take him along, and now he was being worse than useless…
His line goes taut.
Xie Lian snaps to attention, his earlier worries entirely forgotten, replaced by electric anticipation. In his panic, he briefly forgets how the fishing pole works. What was he supposed to do again? Pull? Haul?
He doesn’t have time to figure out what it is. In front of him, a huge, glistening carp explodes out of the water like a firework.
It flops onto the stones in front of him, its big round eye glistening, and its mouth opening and closing. A moment later, another carp follows, its fins fluttering fast like butterfly wings. It seems to be desperately trying to get away from something. Right after it, popping out from the icy water like a firework bang comes a third carp.
Xie Lian grips his fishing pole with both hands and backs away several feet, his mouth falling open in wonder.
In moments, even more carp come flooding out from the lake. They practically throw themselves at his feet, their multicolored scales catching the light every which way as they wriggle. Xie Lian quickly finds himself standing in front of a mountain of carp practically piling themselves up without any effort on his behalf.
“San Lang…?” Xie Lian murmurs aloud. “What did you do?”
But the show hasn’t stopped yet. The golden carp come in all sizes, from the size of a small child to one that Xie Lian swears could probably swallow Ke Mo in one bite. The mountain of carp slowly grows to a stupifying size.
Xie Lian can’t help it. It’s too funny a sight. After a moment, the corners of his mouth twitch upward and he starts laughing.
Eventually, Hua Cheng drags himself up over the edge of the lake. His hair is plastered darkly to his head, but he is wearing a small, self-satisfied smirk. He watches Xie Lian laugh as he pulls on his robe and squeezes the remaining water out of his hair.
“Do you think this will be enough?” he asks. Next to him, on the mountain of carp, a lone fish flaps its tail.
Xie Lian’s only answer is to pull him down into a kiss.
Xie Lian makes Hua Cheng return most of the terrified carp back to the lake. They end up taking only the largest catch down the mountain with them. Hua Cheng passes it off to his minions as soon as they enter the ghost realm, and they need nearly fifty men to carry the thing off. It attracts quite a lot of attention as it is hauled down the street, with cries of “Make way! Make way!” trailing behind it.
As it goes, however, Hua Cheng notices a certain thoughtfulness in Xie Lian’s demeanor. He keeps glancing longingly at the kitchens, where piles of fresh ingredients are going in and piles of steaming food are being carried out. When the carp finally disappears from view behind the kitchen doors, Xie Lian sighs.
“What is it?” Hua Cheng asks.
Xie Lian fiddles, but Hua Cheng sits patiently and waits for him to come out with it.
Xie Lian avoids his eyes, says it's nothing, and goes through all of his usual deflections. Hua Cheng lets him take his time because even though he loves Xie Lian’s confidence, he loves Xie Lian’s shy moments too.
“I know it’s probably not feasible,” Xie Lian finally says. “But I’d like to cook something for the banquet too.”
Hua Cheng thinks of Xie Lian’s mother, and how Xie Lian will never get over her death, no matter how many years go by. He thinks of how Xie Lian probably will never admit it aloud.
“Then you should do it,” he says, pressing a kiss to Xie Lian’s hand.
“I really shouldn’t,” Xie Lian sighs. “Think of how all the others will react. This is a bad idea.”
Then Hua Cheng thinks of all the heavenly officials keeling over in their seats, their eyes bulging and their mouths agape. He thinks of gods and ghouls alike being carried out by their ankles, their souls nearly leaving their bodies. His answering grin is so large it nearly splits his face.
“I think,” he says sincerely. “That it’s the best idea I’ve ever heard.”