Work Text:
The renewal of them is a slow burn toward no particular goal. Darren's still away from Los Angeles more than he's there. They both tread carefully, placing no demands of time or attention, reaching in little stops and starts.
The first actual conversation they have on social media, put out there for the world to see, causes a minor upheaval in the fabric of space and time. Their notifications are a wash of nostalgia.
They post a picture together the next time they hang out, and it only intensifies. It's nothing like what it used to be but the characters they played still hold a place in the hearts of many, and their faces are the embodiment of that.
Six years ago, that would have terrified Chris. Now he kind of finds it sweet.
*
When they fell in love the first time, it was proximity and chemistry and the bonding that happens when two people with so much potential are put together in a situation that forces strong emotion. It was shared experiences and shared fears, turning to each other when no one else really got what it meant to be who they were and doing what they were doing.
Now they've got a shared history that they don't ignore but don't talk too much about, and the rest of them is something totally new.
*
They both expect it'll fade to nothing, and it catches Darren by surprise when he realizes his first thought in the morning is to see if Chris is texting him - and that it's been his first thought every morning for weeks.
It's just a text message. Just a good morning, usually, or a picture of something Chris saw on his morning walk with the dog. Just a text.
But it was just a text yesterday, and the day before. And it'll be just a reply from Darren, just a quick phone call when he gets into his car, just a little thing that leads to a series of little things that weaves their lives back together.
*
Chris questions it constantly.
He questions everything about his life constantly. It's a checklist in the back of his mind; what to do, what to not do, what mistakes to avoid. He's always prided himself on never needing to be taught the same lesson twice.
But the more he allows Darren in, the more allowances he makes.
Darren's not the same person he was back then.
Neither is Chris.
They're far from strangers. They're former lovers that never quite managed to be friends; maybe that's what was missing all along. But is this friendship just a prelude to something more? Would it be safer to draw those lines now?
Maybe he's setting himself up for failure again, but it's hard to think around the warmth that floods him every time he sees Darren's name on the screen of his phone.
*
Darren's not sure he's ever lived a point in his life where he wasn't looking forward to the next big thing, where he didn't feel some level of frustration with being limited to the moment he's in. He talks a good game about embracing life but was always the kid who flipped to the end of the book to find out how it ended, impatient with giving each little word the attention it deserved.
A year ago, signing on for three movies and a constant travel schedule sounded like a great idea. He'd felt too restless in one place, and embraced wanting to see more of the world and throw himself into work.
Now he's impatient for every chance to slip back to a city that's still not quite home, but no longer quite the chore it once was.
*
Darren manages to get back in February, May, and August. Three times in nine months they're close enough to reach out and touch, but so much happens in the hundreds of hours of phone conversations, the thousands of texts, the dozens of video calls.
February is an event he's hosting. Months of casual conversation leave them nervous for the in person dynamic, but it's shockingly free of stumbling blocks. They have lunch twice alone and a third time with friends, then Darren's gone again.
May is a long weekend, a swing through that he never says is really just to see Chris, but Singapore to Los Angeles isn't a flight made without intent. He doesn't buy Chris a gift or take him out out on the town, but the three days they spend in Chris's house are a turning point.
August is impulsive. Darren shows up in a rental car and says, "Let's go somewhere together." then waits while Chris packs a bag.
*
There's a conversation. There has to be. They can only ignore the past for so long before it becomes emotional roulette.
The last time they tried that, they lost.
They both cry a little bit, laying side by side on a hotel room bed, hands clasp tightly between them. They talk about everything, embracing the discomfort for the sake of letting go of the doubts and hesitations. They don't say the words I love you but love is really the only thing worth putting themselves through this for, so they both sort of realize it anyway.