Work Text:
“So about you and Seokjin-hyung.”
Jimin is sitting on Jungkook’s kitchen counter, legs swinging back and forth. Jungkook makes no move to stop him. If Seokjin were here, he’d shoo Jimin off the counter and then yell at him for putting his ass on the place where he makes his food, but Jungkook’s roommate is at work and thus, Jungkook has decided to let things slide.
Jungkook hums noncommittally, invested in editing the photos for his final project, the one that, unfortunately, will decide everything. “What about me and hyung?”
“What is going on with you two?”
Jungkook looks up from his work. Jimin is staring intently at him, and then at their fridge behind him, where picture after picture of the two of them are propped up with alpaca magnets. There’s one of them smiling, making silly faces, a nervous one before Jungkook’s first showcase, a fond one after, a giant photo of the two of them at Taehyung’s family’s farm, petting the animals. It goes on and on, nearly reaching the floor.
“Um… well, we’ve been roommates for–”
“I know that, ” Jimin says, rolling his eyes, “I mean, what else is going on.”
“We’re… friends?” Jungkook says, confused.
“ Just friends?”
“Well… okay, this is kind of a secret.”
Jimin leans forward. His legs come to a halt.
“Tell me the secret.” It sounds kind of like a demand from an all-powerful being. Jungkook gulps.
“We’re not just friends. We actually talked about this a few weeks back… and I mean, I guess you couldn’t say it’s set in stone, but I feel really confident about it, and I think it could be this way for life, even–” Jungkook blushes when he realizes what he just said, but continues– “I feel really good about it.”
Jimin beams.
“About us being officially ultimate bros, I mean.”
The smile immediately fades.
“Ultimate… what?”
“Ultimate bros,” Jungkook clarifies.
Jimin looks like he is going to pull his hair out or set the world on fire or maybe both at the same time. Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
“Don’t you think,” Jimin sighs, “there’s something more than an ‘ultimate bro?’” He makes air quotes, as if to say that it isn’t a completely valid phrase. “Something that you want to be with hyung?”
Jungkook doesn’t get personally offended easily, but Jimin is pushing it. “There’s no higher honor than ultimate bro,” he replies in disbelief, “Just ask Hoseok-hyung.”
“I…” Jimin visibly deflates. “I give up. I have class, let’s meet for dinner, okay?”
“Okay…?” Jungkook replies, but Jimin is already halfway out the door.
Him and Seokjin-hyung. Jungkook shrugs and goes back to his work.
When Seokjin gets home, he’s quieter than usual.
He sets his things down softly and joins Jungkook at the kitchen table, where he’s still poring over his photos, revising and revising.
“Hey,” he says quietly, so he doesn’t startle Jungkook.
Jungkook smiles, shooting him a quick glance. “Hi, hyung.”
Seokjin slowly leans his head on Jungkook’s shoulder and closes his eyes.
“Everything okay?” Jungkook asks.
Seokjin hums. “Just tired.”
Jungkook pauses typing to interlace his fingers with Seokjin’s. He squeezes tight. Seokjin smiles into the crook of his shoulder.
Jungkook leans his head on top of Seokjin’s, closes his eyes.
“I’m tired,” Seokjin continues, his voice as soft as ghosts of snow, “but I’m better now.”
Jungkook kisses the top of his head, closes his computer, and thinks, me too.
@goldencloset, 14 September 3:55 PM:
In the autumn, the leaves feel like a reminder. Do you remember the first time we saw each other? I was running to the bus stop because I was late. The leaves were crunching under my feet. I felt sort of limitless and invincible. Of course I wasn’t, though. I slipped and fell, not only missing the bus but also bruising my right knee. Once I’d dusted myself off, I saw you staring at me from the full length window of a coffee shop, broom forgotten in hand. You came outside and offered me a free drink. I hadn’t realized I had been crying.
Seokjin holds Jungkook’s hand under the table.
Namjoon and Yoongi are in a deep conversation-slash-argument about music. Every once in a while Jungkook will interject his thoughts and have each of them go off on a new tangent. He’ll giggle into Seokjin’s shoulder.
Across the table, Jimin watches with suspicion. He makes eye contact with Jungkook every once in a while, and every time he does, he raises an eyebrow. Must be about the comments, which become more and more bullshit the later it gets.
Most of the time, though, Jungkook’s watching Seokjin. The way the tension leaves his body more and more, the way he absentmindedly drifts a thumb across Jungkook’s hand while he’s holding it, the way he leans forward when Hoseok tells a ridiculous joke, his face happy with laughter, one of his rare days off.
He works so hard, Jungkook thinks, and then, I love him so much my heart aches.
When they walk home, he sticks close to Seokjin’s side and pretends it’s because of the cold.
@goldencloset, 16 September 8:30 PM:
Everything in my life felt off-kilter. I don’t think time was meant to be used this way, shaped into a rigid pattern with penalties for wasting it. But it mattered to me so much. Being late for the bus felt like a nightmare, until I turned to look at your curious face, and it turned into a dream. That day I first saw you, I missed my first class and then my second because I couldn’t seem to care. And that’s why the autumn leaves remind me to rest. Resting, to me, is letting my eyes drift away from the clock. It’s forgiving myself and others, it’s closing my eyes and dreaming. I knew I loved you early on, because when I’m with you, time stops.
The first time they kissed was only a few weeks ago, and Jungkook hasn’t been able to bring it up since.
It would have been a normal day otherwise. When Jungkook came home Seokjin was cooking for them, humming to some girl group song playing on his phone’s speaker. After Jungkook hung up his coat, he stared for a little bit at his roommate, who hadn’t heard the key in the lock, and who Jungkook could tell was smiling even with his back turned.
Something about that made Jungkook, who wasn’t having the best day, smile too, until his cheeks hurt. He walked up behind Seokjin and surprised him with a back hug, his chin tucked over Seokjin’s left shoulder.
“Jeon Jungkook!” Seokjin yelled, and startledly twisted away from Jungkook’s grip, but eventually relaxed, laughing. He laced his right hand with Jungkook’s left as Jungkook settled into the hug, using his left hand to cook.
“Hi, hyung,” Jungkook replied, but the position they were in made his words come out too honest, too fond.
“How was your day?” Seokjin asked softly. Jungkook made a noncomittal sound and shrugged before closing his eyes and burying his face into Seokjin’s neck.
“Ah, we can’t have that,” he said in response, squeezing Jungkook’s hand. “Hey, I made your favorite for dinner. And we can watch Iron Man. I won’t even complain.”
“You always complain,” Jungkook muttered.
“I won’t even complain as much,” Seokjin amended, and squeezed his hand again.
As Seokjin said that, everything narrowed down for Jungkook.
Jungkook’s favorite meal, smelling just like his youth in Busan, was simmering on the stove.
Seokjin’s apron was battered from use under Jungkook’s fingertips, but he refused to get a new one because this one was a birthday gift from Jungkook.
On Seokjin’s phone speaker, Sana from TWICE wanted to know what love was.
“Turn around for a second?”
Seokjin did. Jungkook put his arms around Seokjin’s shoulders, and Seokjin’s hands fell to lightly hold Jungkook’s waist.
Seokjin’s eyes held the colors of autumn, of warmth. He looked at Jungkook like there was nothing else around them.
Jungkook foolishly hoped, and so, like gravity pulling to earth, his lips met Seokjin’s.
If Seokjin was surprised, Jungkook couldn’t tell. They kissed like they had kissed each other a thousand times over. They knew each other then, in a way that Jungkook couldn’t explain. Kissing Seokjin, being kissed by Seokjin, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to him.
Soon enough, too soon, Seokjin was pulling away. Jungkook looked up at him nervously. Maybe he had fucked this up beyond repair, maybe he had read everything wrong–
Seokjin’s face broke out into the most brilliant smile Jungkook had ever seen.
He was helpless to do anything but smile back, lean in, and kiss Seokjin again like he was oxygen, like he needed him to breathe.
It would have been embarrassing if Seokjin hadn’t been kissing him that way, too, like he never wanted to let go of him even for a second. When they did, eventually, have to break away, all Seokjin did was murmur his name, before leaning in again–
The kitchen timer, being the stupid and useless and most rage-inducing device it was, decided, at that moment, to beep loudly, startling Jungkook and breaking their hold.
Seokjin smiled apologetically, and squeezed Jungkook’s waist once before letting go. “I’ll finish this, love, can you get the plates?”
But they haven’t kissed since then, and Jungkook’s brain is broken, now.
@goldencloset, 18 September 3:09 AM:
I don’t know why I started writing here. Maybe because there is so much, here in my heart, that I’m afraid one day I will look at you and blurt out everything. It could be like a dream after that, or I could lose my best friend. So, hyung, of course I’m scared. And you know me so well, so you know that I write casually most days, but I can’t stop writing on days when I’m scared. When I’m scared, the words precede me. They enter the page before the thoughts even actualize. But you also know to hold me tight when I’m scared, to let me hide. And I know that when you’re scared, you need to call home, you need to sing to silly, upbeat girl group anthems, you need to hide in the laughter. I want to tell you that it’s okay. That we can be scared together.
They’re out with their friends again, the group of seven squished up in a Red Robin booth, making their way through the unlimited dishes menu, laughing loudly.
Jungkook’s head is resting on Seokjin’s shoulder, and he’s running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair tenderly, Jungkook’s hand latched onto his. Every once in a while one of them will laugh, and it’ll jostle them a little, the bright sound rumbling through their skin.
Jungkook forgets everything but the feel of Seokjin under his fingertips, the soft voices of their friends around them as they eat cheap food and are subjected to the same top 10 hits from the restaurant’s speaker.
Jimin swallows a bite of his unlimited mac and cheese combo™ and says, “Oh, Hobi-hyung, Tae and I went to the couples’ retreat your friend recommended. The girl with the purple hair.”
“Ooo, yeah, did you have fun?” Hoseok smiles brightly.
“It was great,” Taehyung sighs, “I didn’t even know this is how a normal back should feel. And romantic, too.” Suddenly, his face lights up even more, and he turns to face Jungkook and Seokjin. “Hey, Jungkook-ah, you and Jin-hyung should go, I think I grabbed their card–”
Jungkook, absolutely floored, sputters, “Oh, but we’re not–”
But Taehyung is already handing a sky blue business card to Seokjin. Instead of saying anything, instead of yelling at all their friends like Jungkook thought he would, he just pockets it with an unreadable expression.
Jungkook looks up at him questioningly, but Seokjin just presses a kiss to the top of his head before returning to his food.
Foolishly, Jungkook allows himself to dream.
Jungkook wakes up from a nightmare at three in the morning, shaking under the blankets, and after half an hour of shivering in the big dark, he finally resolves to crawl into Seokjin’s bed for the first time since they’ve kissed.
Earlier, Seokjin had leaned over the top of Jungkook’s laptop to kiss his temple, had stopped his hands from typing furiously, like the words on the document were a rash spreading like wildfire, angry and afraid. He rubbed the bones of Jungkook’s wrist, whispered Jungkook’s name.
“Guk-ah,” Seokjin murmurs now, somehow even more softly than before, as Jungkook slides carefully into bed next to him.
“Didn’t wanna wake you,” Jungkook whispers guiltily, pulling the blanket over both of them again.
His roommate hums tiredly. “S’okay, was only half asleep.” Seokjin turns around to face him. Jungkook can barely make out the shape of his face in the dark, but it’s enough for him. He leans in like a moth to a flame, and Seokjin wraps his arms around him warmly, automatically.
“Okay?” he whispers into Jungkook’s hair.
“Hyung,” Jungkook says, but can’t get any of the rest of the words out. He buries his face in Seokjin’s chest. He’s always hiding. He’s always too scared.
Seokjin kisses the top of his head softly. “It’s okay, love. I’ve got you.”
“Hyung, what am– what are–”
“It’s okay,” Seokjin repeats, shushing him. “You’re safe. You can go to sleep, it’s okay.” His hand is warm as it runs up and down Jungkook’s back in soothing strokes. Even if they weren’t so close, that one point of contact would be enough for Jungkook. The warmth spreads from his back to every crevice of his body, down to his fingers and toes, curling a fist over his heart, his lungs.
What am I doing, Jungkook wanted to say. What are we doing?
He’s always too scared to ask.
Instead, childishly, but so quietly, he asks, “Will you be there when I wake up?”
“Of course,” Seokjin replies, curling into Jungkook’s hold even more. His voice has lapsed into a soothing, fond tone that Jungkook can’t begin to explain. Like he’s talking to someone he loves. “Not even a question. Of course.”
And finally, Jungkook rests.
@goldencloset, 21 September 10:41 AM:
(Photo album attached)
And time stops.
Jimin-hyung 6:12 PM
hey i saw ur final project
Jimin-hyung 6:12 PM
on that blog of yours
Jimin-hyung 6:13 PM
he loves you like that, too.
Jimin-hyung 6:13 PM
you should tell him
Me 6:14 PM
but i’m too scared to ruin what we have already
Jimin-hyung 6:15 PM
literally when has that ever stopped you?
Me 6:15 PM
it’s different. it’s jin-hyung
Jimin-hyung 6:17 PM
exactly gguk
Jimin-hyung 6:17 PM
it’s jin-hyung
Jimin-hyung 6:18 PM
dont worry, ok
Jimin-hyung 6:18 PM
if hes mean to u ever (which he will never be) i’ll beat him up
Me 6:19 PM
he can see over the top of ur head
Jimin-hyung 6:19 PM
the only reason i’m letting that slide is because i know ur deflecting and i love u.
Jimin-hyung 6:20 PM
now go get him
Me 6:20 PM
im not wrong
Me 6:21 PM
(love u too)
When Seokjin comes home, Jungkook has already set the table for two and is singing softly along to his own mix of indie and acoustic songs with slightly melancholy but hopeful lyrics. That’s one thing he loves about their home. The music, even when not playing out loud, is always present in the air.
When he turns around, Seokjin is standing there in his work clothes, bag hanging limply from his side, smiling softly.
“Hyung!” Jungkook says, and the grin overtakes him in a way he can’t control, “You’re home.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin says breathlessly.
They stare at each other for a minute. Jungkook can’t settle on a word to describe how Seokjin is looking at him. Eventually, his own smile fades into a smaller, softer one, and he knows he’s mirroring the expression.
Jungkook hesitantly steps forward once, and that seems to be the catalyst for Seokjin, who surges forward, cups Jungkook’s face gently, and kisses him.
It’s like the past few weeks hadn’t even happened, like they’re back to that day in August, pressing resume. It’s as if they have all the time in the world. Seokjin kisses him like they do, like Jungkook is precious, and Jungkook tries to mirror the same tenderness in the way he cups Seokjin’s jaw, the way he whispers his name.
Some part of Jungkook is yelling at him to stop, but he ignores it. He’ll take anything, he’ll take kisses like this left unexplained, if only to see Seokjin’s smile one more time. All he wants is Seokjin, in any way he’ll have him.
“Hyung,” he whispers, and Seokjin pulls back with a hesitant gaze.
But maybe, he realizes as Seokjin strokes the back of his neck, waiting, this isn’t enough.
He remembers Jimin’s words, sucks in a breath, and exhales, “Hyung, I need to show you something, but I’m afraid to let go.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Seokjin soothes him with a kiss to his cheek.
It takes a minute, but Jungkook finally pulls away, hands shaking.
He takes his laptop from the kitchen table and navigates to his project, trying to regulate his breathing.
And finally, he turns the laptop around so it faces Seokjin. For a second, which feels like three years, Seokjin just looks at his photo album. Just looking with his careful, warm eyes.
“I tried to write it down. Or to explain it in words, but, hyung—“
Words fail him again this time. This time, he just lets Seokjin look at the photos, of every color and shade, some of Seokjin, some of places they’ve been, items that carry memories, with bright strokes, bold ones, like he was scared before but now he’s stopped hiding, like he was guided by moments before but now he’s letting precious time move freely, in all its love and pain and joy, and everything trying to convey—
“Hyung, I love you.”
When Jungkook says it, he almost curls into himself. He can’t bring himself to look at Seokjin in the eye. “I love you, I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking.
For a second, a resounding silence.
Then: “Jungkook-ah,” Seokjin says, “Look at me?”
He cups his jaw gently, soothes a thumb over Jungkook’s cheek, wiping away a tear. Jungkook didn’t even realize he was crying. He looks up into Seokjin’s eyes, which are fond, honest.
It’s like how it is every time he meets Seokjin’s eyes. The warmth of his gaze makes everything else disappear.
Seokjin, smiling, leans in to kiss Jungkook again. Jungkook kisses him back helplessly, feels a rush of joy and euphoria in his chest as he holds onto Seokjin tightly.
When Seokjin pulls away, he asks, “No timers this time, right?”
Jungkook shakes his head, feeling faint.
“Good,” he says. Instead of turning to kiss Jungkook again, like he thought he would, Seokjin presses a kiss to his temple. Then his cheek. The curve of his jaw. All so gently, and slowly, like he wants to remember the exact feel of Jungkook’s skin under his fingertips. The corner of his mouth, with a smile. The tip of his nose, making Jungkook laugh. The smile lines on his face, before they disappear.
“Hyung,” Jungkook laughs, breathless through his tears, and Seokjin starts to laugh too, rocking them both in their hold.
“I think I’ve been stupid,” Seokjin whispers, and kisses the skin between Jungkook’s brows. Then upward, to his forehead. His temple again, stroking the other one with his thumb in soothing motions.
“Me too, hyung,” Jungkook gasps, unable to cope with the feel of Seokjin’s soft mouth on his skin.
“No, you don’t understand, I—“ he pauses, grounds himself with a soft kiss to Jungkook’s mouth. “I kissed you and just left you like that, without even really explaining— showing you how much I— how much I love you.”
“You— what?” Jungkook’s brain is about three steps behind the pace of Seokjin’s words. “Hyung, what?”
“Since like forever, Guk, for like years and years, oh my god,” Seokjin continues, like he can’t stop the words from spilling out anymore, “Namjoon teased me about it so much, I kept thinking that you could read it off my face, that you could be uncomfortable—“
“No, hyung, never,” Jungkook leans forward and just holds Seokjin, burying his face in his neck, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone. “Never,” he murmurs into Seokjin’s skin. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby,” Seokjin whispers, hands shaking as they stroke Jungkook’s back, soothe from his temples to the tips of his hair. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I love you.”
“We’re both kinda stupid, huh.”
Seokjin laughs wetly, and Jungkook realizes, belatedly, that he’s crying too. “Maybe a little.”
Jungkook tilts up to kiss him, letting this one linger gently, as he wipes away the tears. “I love you anyway,” he says. He does.
For the first time in his life, Jungkook pauses Iron Man.
“We have an announcement,” he declares to the room of half-awake friends, putting his arm around Seokjin.
“You paused— Iron Man— for this?” Hoseok gasps, but it turns into a yawn midway.
“Yes, I did, Hobi-hyung, because this is very important and we wanted you all to know. Jin-hyung, drumroll, please.”
Seokjin obediently begins drumming on his knees, loud enough to rouse Yoongi from his half-slumber.
“Get on with it, m’tired,” he says, sinking further into Namjoon’s lap.
“Hyung and I have moved on from being just bros. We are… officially…” Jungkook snaps at Seokjin to stop the drumroll. “Boyfriends.”
Five pairs of eyes stare blankly back at them.
“Not sure how this is news,” Yoongi says, then promptly goes back to sleep.
“Haven’t you guys been dating since, like, last year?” Hoseok says with a furrowed brow.
“What? No. Why would you think that?” Jungkook says.
“No, I remember, too,” Taehyung says, “It was like that one day, we were having bottomless chicken wings, and you and hyung came in holding hands, and he kissed your cheek, and I was like ‘awww, they figured it out.’” He smiles a little, apparently remembering this crystal-clear. “But that was definitely last year, what gives?”
“I—“ But Jungkook can’t get a word in before Taehyung is continuing.
“Jiminie, back me up. They’ve been dating for like a year, right? We didn’t collectively imagine it?”
“Well.” Jimin smiles apologetically. “To be fair, Jungkook-ah, we did try to hint to you. At least.”
“Hyung.” Jungkook looks at Seokjin, who’s smiling helplessly.
“We’re idiots, maybe, a little,” Seokjin admits, but then kisses Jungkook’s forehead, so all is right in the world anyway.
An “awww” echoes throughout the room. “Okay, I don’t care when you started being boyfriends, but cool, you’re boyfriends, yay,” says Taehyung.
“I love love,” adds Yoongi sleepily.
“Agreed,” says Namjoon. He winks at Seokjin knowingly.
Jungkook buries his face in Seokjin’s neck, a little embarrassed. It doesn’t matter, though, because their friends are dissolving into laughter around them, and Seokjin is smiling and telling him he loves him, and the joy is so palpable that Jungkook aches with it, holding it close to his heart. Maybe it happened in an unusual order, he thinks, smiling into Seokjin’s kiss, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
@goldencloset, 30 September 2:09 PM
On a bright September morning you kissed me awake, and I felt like everything glowed gold, like a dream I couldn’t place, from my childhood or from my future. I wish I could have the right words now, but I don’t know how to explain that every time I rest with you, I bloom from the autumn leaves, straight from the roots in the ground. Like the best parts of every season wrapped into one. Like the sunrise leaving its gentle golden rays in the corners of your smile. You are a dream, not just in the way you love, but in the way you are.