Archive of Our Own

“Oh, I don’t know about all that.”  She fidgets and turns pink at my compliment.

“So, now that the races are over what’s next?”  I tug on my tie to loosen it a bit, feeling constricted.

“We’re on our way to the best party ever!”  Hana giggle and gleefully claps her hands.

“Endless Jell-O shots and strippers as far as the eye can see?”

A man can dream.

“No!  A tea party with lemonade, finger sandwiches, and butter cookies!”  She still looks thrilled.  I am less so.

I sling my arm around her as we walk towards the waiting cars.  “You’re adorable, Cinnamon Bun.  I don’t understand you worth a shit sometimes, but you’re fucking adorable.”

“I’ve always loved tea parties.”  Hana ducks her head.  “When I was little, I didn’t have many toys to play with because my parents thought they were frivolous, but I was allowed to have a tea set so I could learn to be a proper hostess.”

Wow.   And just when I thought I couldn’t possibly hate them even more.

“So you used your imagination to entertain yourself.  Well, love will find a way I guess.”

“Oh!   And we’ll be meeting the Queen today.  That’s sure to be eventful.”

God, my God, how thee have forsaken me.

“Have you met her before?” I ask.

“A long time ago, I doubt she remembers me.  I’m a bit nervous,” Hana admits.  A black town car pulls up.  “This is me. See you at the picnic, Callum.”

I wave to her as I wait for me own car to arrive.  A limo pulls up and Maxwell opens a door, waving me inside.

“So…I hope you had a good time,” Maxwell ventures.

“I came in my panties I was so excited,” I respond, moodily picking at the fabric of my pants.

“Can you be anything other than crass?”  Bertrand glowers at me.  “Never mind, we need to discuss business.  Was that Lady Hana Lee you were with?  You two seemed friendly.”

“Cinnamon Bun?  I’d say we’re friends.”  I turn my attention to my cuticles.

Bertrand hedges.  “An alliance with her family isn’t the worst thing, as long as you don’t let it distract you from the prince.  In any case, your goal today should be impressing the queen.  She holds more sway than anyone at court.”

I pause my anxious picking and give him a look.  

“Socially, she does,” he amends.  “Don’t underestimate her.  Thankfully you wore something appropriate today, she’ll appreciate that.”

“Yay, conformity,” I mutter, sliding down farther in my seat.

“You need to get her to like you.”  Maxwell attempts to look stern.  “The queen enjoys fashion and likes people with grace and style.  She tends to favor people from Cordonia, so you’re at the disadvantage there.”

Happy happy, joy joy.

“I’m sure your natural charm will win her over.”

“Thanks, Maxwell.”  I give him a weak smile.

Bertrand clears his throat.  “She also has a high regard for royal protocol.  You should address her as ‘Your Majesty’ when you meet her, and ‘ma’am’ any time thereafter.”

“And she’s competitive when she’s playing games,” Maxwell adds.

“Ultimately, she’s concerned about how the prince’s future spouse will be partially responsible for Cordonia’s future.  Keep that in mind at all times.”

“Roger that, Ghostrider.”

Bertrand crosses his arms over his chest.  “You may have performed well with the press, but it only takes one slip-up to ruin the reputation you have built.”

Oh, Bertrand.  You sweet summer child.  Once that background report comes back all our reputations are going to be garbage.

We arrive at the picnic grounds, and I offer Maxwell my arm when we exit the car.  I smirk at his look of surprise.  

“Hey, my Pops raised me right,” I murmur.  “I know how to treat a gentleman.  Or a lady.  Or a gender non-conforming babe.  Anybody really.  I’m all about equal opportunity.”

The Beaumont brothers and I survey the lavish picnic set up in silence for a few moments.  

“Wow.  Just wow. This is…a lot,” I finally say.

Bertrand pinches his eyes closed.  “Go join the other suitors in the receiving line.  And keep your opinions to a minimum today, please.”

I roll my eyes and wander over to the nobles who are milling around while waiting for the queen.

“Callum!  Welcome to the tea party!”  Hana is fairly vibrating with excitement.

Olivia sniffs as she looks me over.  “Cutting it awfully close there.”

A commotion causes all three of use to look to our left.  The Queen of Cordonia walks towards us, a pale blonde in a green dress at her side.

“Who’s that with the queen?” Hana whispers.

I shrug.  “No idea. What about you, Smoke Show?  Do you know who she is?”

“That’s Countess Madeline of Fydelia and if you don’t know who she is the you are really behind the times.”  Olivia scoffs, rolling her eyes.  

“Her name was all over the tabloids at one point.  She was engaged to the former crown prince until he abdicated,” Penelope adds.

“It was so embarrassing for her to be rejected like that.  She was the one chosen during his social season after all.  To go through all that, and not be royal...”  Kiara shakes her head in sympathy.  

“Leo ended the engagement because he fell in love.  Madeline should be happy he did so they weren’t miserable for the rest of their lives,” I whisper.

Four pairs of eyes look at me blankly.

“Or not,” I mutter.

“Poor thing must be the queen’s guest as a consolation prize,” Olivia says in mock sympathy.

The queen makes her way down the line of suitors, stopping to speak briefly to each one.  When she pauses in front of me I step forward and offer her a polite bow.

“Your Majesty,” I say, keeping my head bowed.

“This is the one I was telling you about.”  Madeline eyes me with a mixture of interest and distaste.

“Lady Madeline.”  I bow to her, not quite as low as I did for the queen.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Callum MacKenzie.  The press speaks well of you.  It takes great effort to manage one’s image so responsibly.  And you’ve selected the appropriate attire for the event.”

I got a lot of practice with Brody.

“I heard you share my appreciation for fashion, ma’am.  I’m happy to see the rumors are true.”  I give her my most beguiling grin.

She smiles back, enchanted in spite of herself.  “The press is calling you ‘The Mystery Man’, someone charming who they can’t quite figure out.  I hope you realize someone cannot remain a mystery for long when they are a public servant and must attend to the people.”

I’m just praying Brody’s dad has thrown up enough red tape around our relationship to allow me to remain a mystery just a little while longer.

I nod thoughtfully.  “I am aware, ma’am.  I hope I’m able to show the people of Cordonia exactly who I am throughout the social season.”

“Mr. MacKenzie, what do you think is the best quality for a ruler to have?”

“A sense of loyalty to the people.  Your people need to know that you have the kingdom and their best interests at heart and are willing to faithfully see to your duties, through times of crisis and in times of plenty.”

I need a stiff drink before I choke on all the bullshit I just spewed out.

The queen arches one perfectly manicured eyebrow at me.  “Good answer.  Loyalty to the kingdom must guide your every decision.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“As heads of state, we have a responsibility to the people.  The press acts as their eyes.  We must always portray a sense of calm and dignity.  If the rulers appear in control, then everyone will be assured.  Hysteria benefits no one.  Do you agree?”

Wow. This woman has been seriously dipping into the Kool-Aid.

“Absolutely,” I say.

“We must set the example,” Queen Regina continues.  “Which is why we must not enable the scandal hunting impulses of the press.”

The American press has already beat them to it.  You’re over two years too late.

Madeline interrupts us.  “Ma’am, I hate to intrude, but it’s time to start the game.”

“Ah, yes.  Everyone, please follow me.  It’s time to begin the ceremonial croquet match.”  The queen glides away, Madeline obediently following her.

I could be getting my dick sucked in a bar bathroom in New York right now, but instead I’m here. Getting ready to play ceremonial croquet.  Life’s fucking weird sometimes.

“Know that one of you will rule beside Liam and I expect you to represent Cordonia well.  Madeline has been an embodiment of dignity and devotion.  It is my hope that you will all learn from her.

Madeline smiles proudly.  “Thank you, ma’am.”

“I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spork,” I mutter to Hana. Olivia snickers when she overhears me, but quickly gets herself under control when she catches me smirking at her.

We finally reach the croquet setup and find Liam waiting for us.  We file past him, and he greets each one of us in turn.

I catch his hand before he can react and press a sensual kiss to his knuckles. “Hello, darlin’.  It feels like it’s been ages since we’ve seen each other.”

Liam sucks in a deep breath.  “Callum, I am so pleased that you’re here.”

“That makes two of us.”  I bow to him. “We’ll have to sneak away with each other again.  Soon.”

“Absolutely,” he murmurs as I brush past him to join the other suitors.

“Custom has it that the Queen and the Prince play a round of croquet with two of the season’s suitors,” Queen Regina announces.  “I have chosen Madeline as my partner.”

Those words send the rest of the suitors into a frenzy.

“She’s a suitor?”  Penelope looks ill.

“That scheming little…”  Olivia lowers her voice, but I distinctly catch the words “conniving” and “bitch”.

“So, she was engaged to Leo and now she’s back to try and marry Liam?” I ask once everyone has settled a bit.  

Madeline looks over at us smugly as she stands next to the queen.

“That about sums it up,” Hana answers me.

I hum in contemplation.  “That’s a bit pathetic, no?” I muse, raising my voice just a tad so Madeline is sure to hear me.  “She can’t keep one prince, so she tries for his younger brother?  That is some next level clout chasing.”

The rest of the suitors snicker and giggles as I lock eyes with a very perturbed Madeline.

Game on, Blondie.

“I choose Mr. MacKenzie,” Liam’s voice rises above the din, and he grins at me. I wink back.

“Callum?  But..” Olivia starts to protest.

“Shh.  The Prince made his choice.”  Penelope frowns at me.

We separate into teams and chose our mallets.  

“Looks like I found another way to steal a few moments with you.”  Liam brushes his fingers against the back of my hand.

“Looks like,” I murmur softly.  “So, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but croquet really isn’t part of my skill set.”

Liam eyes me curiously.  “And what is your skill set?”

Cooking. Sucking dick.  Knife fighting.  Drinking. Guns.  Dancing, if the occasion is right.

“I’m a trained chef.  I also trained in pastry,” I offer.  “Cooking was the first thing I found I was really good at.”

He looks at me with wide eyes.  “I had no idea.”

“Well, that’s why we’re getting to know each other, yeah?”  I smile half-heartedly.

“I don’t understand.”  Liam’s brow is furrowed.  “Why were you working in that bar if you could be-”

I take his hand in mine.  “It’s another long, sad story for another time, darlin’.”

“It sounds like you’ve had too much sadness in your life, Troublemaker.” Liam’s thumb draws circles on my palm.

“You’re not wrong.  But things are looking up every minute.”  I smile and release his hand.

Liam leads me over to Madeline and Regina.  “Just follow my lead.  Hit your ball through the same hoop as mine, and we’ll be fine.”

We sedately proceed through the circuit and with each hoop I increase my prayers for death.

This is the most boring thing I have ever done.  In my life.  My whole entire life.

My gaze wanders as Liam takes his turn, and I notice Madeline and the queen are in deep discussion.  

“Am I interrupting anything?” I ask as I approach them.

“No.  We were simply discussing how best to undress when meeting with the ministers during the coucher,” Madeline responds airily.

“Be sure to put plastic down if you’re going to have seating.  I know how particular you rich people get about your furniture.”

I fight to repress my grin as Regina and Madeline’s eyes bug out at my response. I placidly blink at them as they bring themselves under control.

Liam calls me over to the end of the circuit.  “My apologies for interrupting your conversation, but I believe it’s your turn.  No pressure or anything, but if you hit the peg in the center we win.”

I need to get this man out more.  He is entirely too excited about winning a game of croquet.

I take the shot to win because my Pops didn’t raise no bitch.  The ball smoothly skips across the grass and hits the center peg.

Naturally.

Liam beams at me.  “I do believe that means victory is ours.”

“I’m glad you had the guts to finish the game.  Too many have thrown the game on purpose to try and impress me.”  The queen studies me carefully.  “That’s why I made it a point to throw the match.”

I smirk and raise an eyebrow.  “Was this a test, ma’am?”

“It was.  And you passed, Mr. MacKenzie.  In the future we may find ourselves on opposing sides, only it won’t be a simple game of croquet and I won’t be holding back.  Liam will need someone who can stand strong at his side without backing down.”

Bring it.

“It was truly a pleasure meeting you, Mr. MacKenzie.”  The queen gracefully inclines her head in my direction.

“Likewise ma’am,” I reply, bowing.

“You’ve shown yourself to be quite unlike the other suitors, which is no small feat in my eyes.”

“You honor me,” I murmur.

Queen Regina gathers the attention of all the suitors.  “Thank you all for coming and I look forward to seeing you at the next event.”

Two bodyguards escorts Madeline and the queen away while Liam and Hana grab a table. I move to the open bar in search of something much stronger than my earlier mimosa.  

“Hey all,” I greet them as I sit down at Liam and Hana’s table, a Singapore Sling, with double the gin courteously of the gorgeous brunette bartender, in hand.

Nice girl.

Drake and Maxwell join us as servers beginning passing out pots of tea and tiny tea sandwiches.

“Food, finally!”  Maxwell descends upon the spread like a starving man.

 Drake scowls.  “If you can call this food.”

“You can’t,” I say glumly, picking at a cucumber sandwich.  “This is just sad.”

“Thank you.  You get me, MacKenzie,” Drake says with a small smile.  “Give me a good burger any day over some escargot aioli.”

I stare at him.

Hana waves a hand in front of my eyes.  “Are you alright, Callum?”

I blink.  “Sorry, I’m just trying to get over the fact the Drake knows the word aioli,” I mutter, dazed.

Liam snickers as Drake glares at me.

"But… escargot aioli… how?”  Hana looks distressed.

“It was a joke Hana, relax.”  Drake rolls his eyes.

“Oh sweet Jesus and he told a joke.”  I press my hand to my chest.  “No more Drake, my heart can’t take another shock today.”

He flips me off and I stick my tongue out at him.

“Ok then, moving on.”  Maxwell claps his hands.  “Do you think you impressed the queen?”

I snort into my drink.  “We’re really doing this?”

Maxwell narrows his eyes at me.

“I think you did rather well actually,” Liam interjects, lacing our fingers together. “You were charming and courteous, and you preformed gracefully.”

“Well, praise Jaysus and all his saints,” I mutter, channeling my father’s accent and inflection.  “My life’s goal has been realized and I can die happy.”

I look around at the completely silent table.

“Ok, that came out way more bitter than I was expecting it to,” I mumble.

“Enough about MacKenzie,” Drake finally says.  “All the little sandwiches are gone and I’m starving.”

“Hard same,” I agree.

“There’s more food back at the palace,” Maxwell tries to soothe us.

“I want baked mac n’ cheese.  And chicken and waffles.  And rugelach.”  My stomach growls.

“Rugelach?” Liam repeats.

“It’s a pastry made with cream cheese dough and filled with different things, like chocolate and walnuts, or fruit preserves.  The varieties are endless really.  Probably why they’re one of my favorites,” I muse.  “I wish you guys could try one, you’re missing out on one of the world’s greatest treasures.”  

“They do sound delicious, but I don’t think our schedule will allow for it,” Liam says with a frown.

“I caught sight of a bakery on the way here.  I propose a field trip later tonight.”  I grin.  “Who’s with me?”  

“I’m in,” Drake says automatically.

“It does sound like fun,” Hana admits with a smile.

Liam hesitates.  “I don’t know, Callum.”

Maxwell bangs his fists on the table.  “Field trip!  Field trip!”

“Please, Liam?  I promise you’ll have a good time.”  I pout a little as I slide my hand beneath the table and up his thigh.

He blushes but doesn’t stop my hand's upward trajectory.  “Troublemaker…  Fine, I’m in.”

“Yes!  Meet me out in the gardens once it get dark,” I tell everyone.  “We going on an adventure.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sneaking out of the palace is easier than I anticipated, all it took was dodging one guard and a short jump off a second story balcony.  I jog up to the others at the same time Liam is arriving from the opposite direction.  

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to sneak out my own bedroom window,” Liam pants.

“Implying you’ve been sneaking out of other people’s windows?”  I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

“NO!” Liam blurts out, his face turning red as we all giggle.

“Alright children, settle down…”  I rub my hands together.  “Time for us to indulge.”

The moon starts to rise as we walk along the beach on our way to the pastry shop.

“Is it just me or is it more fun to be out at night when you’re also breaking the rules?” Maxwell asks suddenly.

“Weeelllll,” I answer him as I place my arm around Liam’s shoulder and draw him close to me.  “I’ve always been an equal opportunity rule breaker, but yes, the moonlight does add a certain ambiance to nighttime shenanigans.”

“After a day spent answering to the press and the queen this is sweet freedom,” Liam comments, cuddling into my side.

“My poor, put upon prince,” I say, kissing the top of his head.  “I’ll protect you.”

Drake pretends to gag as Liam raises up on his toes to kiss my cheek.

When we reach the pastry shop Maxwell dramatically throws open the door.  “We need all of your finest pastries, please!”

“At least he said please this time,” Liam mutters while Drake facepalms.

"Maxwell, I think you’re supposed to go to the counter to order, not just shout it from the doorway,” Hana gently informs him.

“Like normal people,” Drake adds.

I shoo them off to a table.  “You guys go sit.  I’ve got this.”

I take my time selecting a variety of pastries before joining them at the table.  “Ok, so we have rugelach, macaroons, financiers, and profiteroles.”

Maxwell shoves a whole macaroon in his mouth and groans.  “Oh my God… soooooo good.”

“You’re meant to savor those you heathen!”  I reach across the table and smack his arm.

“I regret nothing,” he mumbles as he stuffs another macaroon in his mouth.

“These really are delicious.”  Hana delicately samples some rugelach filled with honey, walnuts, and raisins

Liam offers me a bite of his profiterole and I lean closer to him with a smirk, allowing my lips and teeth to graze his fingers, flicking out my tongue to lap up a stray dab of pastry cream that lingers on his skin.  “Yummy,” I whisper, looking up at him from beneath my lashes.

“Callum.”  Liam’s voice is strained.  “You are entirely too tempting.”

“That’s the idea, darlin’.”

“We should sneak out more often,” Drake remarks, drawing our attention back to our friends.

“I whole heartedly endorse that statement.”  I reach for a financier and delicately feed it to Liam, who shifts closer to me, nearly sitting in my lap.  

We spend another hour there, laughing and eating until Hana comments on the time.

“We really should be getting back,” Liam sighs after checking his watch.

Our group tumbles out onto the sidewalk and starts the leisurely walk back to the palace.  Liam hangs back, picking a pink flower from a nearby bush.  “Callum, come here,” he beckons me closer.

I saunter over to him.  “What’s up, darlin’?”

“Here.”  He pops up on his toes and tucks the flower behind my ear.  “For you.”

“God, you are just cute as a button, you know that?”  I put my hands on his waist and bend down to kiss the tip of his nose.  He tips his chin up in silent invitation and I take his mouth in a slow, sweet kiss that makes my head swim.  Liam sways forward a little as I pull back, not ready to part yet.

“Come on, you.  We need to get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”  I take his hand and we move to catch up to our friends.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bastien watches the group leave the pastry shop in irritation.  Irritated that they snuck out of the palace, irritated he’s had to spend his night tracking them down, irritated that he has to watch Callum fawn all over the prince. 

What? No, no, no, no, no.

Bastien quickly pushes all thoughts of Callum out of his mind.

He stays in the shadows of the alleyway, watching as Liam and Callum stay behind for a moment.  He feels like a voyeur, intruding on the sweet, intimate moment, but he can’t look away.  As Bastien watches the two kiss something stirs deep in his chest, something dark and possessive that unsettles him.  Something that feels a lot like jealousy.

Before he can stop himself Bastien darts out of the alley and follows the pair.  He gets within speaking distance but before he can open his mouth Callum has turned, pushing Liam back and blocking him with his body.  One large hand shoots out and grips Bastien’s throat, the other locks around his wrist in a punishing grip.

“Christ on the fucking cross, Bastien!” Callum shouts once he recognizes the bodyguard.  “The fuck you think you’re doing?”

“My job,” Bastien remarks dryly, shaking loose of Callum’s grip.

“You could have taken the night off,” Liam jokes.  “Callum seems quite capable.”

Callum runs both his hands through his long hair in agitation as he attempts to smile.

“That he does,” Bastien agrees.  “Have you had training?”

“Grew up around a tough crowd.  Learned how to take care of myself early on.”  Callum’s tone is frosty, and he scowls at Bastien.  “We need to get back, Liam.”

Bastien watches in annoyance as Callum protectively tucks Liam beneath his arm and begins walking away.  The annoyance continues to build the entire walk back to the palace as the pair whisper back and forth, sharing sweet words and teasing smiles.  And he doesn’t miss the look Callum gives him after escorting Liam to his quarters.  It’s the cold look of someone assessing a threat.  

One of the junior palace guards rushes up to him as he’s returning to his rooms for the night.  “Mr. Lykel, here’s part of the report you’ve been waiting on.  The information on his father should be here within the next few days.”  The guard hands Bastien a file before giving him a respectful nod and walking away.

Bastien takes the folder into his bedroom and groans as he lies back on his bed, each of his muscles screaming in protest.  He briefly contemplates leaving the file to peruse in the morning, before sighing and flipping it open.  The words ‘United States Senator’ jump off the second page of the report and send him bolt upright on the bed.  He quickly scans through the remaining pages, growing more agitated by the second.

“Shit,” he mutters as he stands up and quickly leaves his room.

In a matter of minutes he’s pounding on Callum’s door. 

Callum opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of low slung grey sweatpants and a scowl.  “What the fuck, old man?”

Momentarily distracted by the sight of Callum’s bare chest it takes a moment to Bastien to process what he just said.  “Old man?  Really?” he growls.

“It’s been a fucked up few days and you’re interrupting my beauty sleep,” Callum replies, raising his arms to tie back his hair.  He catches Bastien looking and tenses the muscles in his arms.

“Did you just flex for me?” Bastien chuckles.

“Did you just ogle me?” Callum responds with a smirk.

Bastien simply smiles, lost in the younger man’s emerald eyes until he remembers his reason for coming here.  “I know about Brody Cunningham.”

Callum stares at him in silence for a few beats before dropping his gaze to the floor and opening his door a little wider.  “Fucking hell.  You better get in here.”