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Mulch and decaying plant matter sat heavy in Luke’s nose. If he moved his foot, it made dry leaves rustle and the wet soil beneath seep into a crack on the side of his boot. All around were sounds of animals and dripping water. Most of his right leg was numb from sitting for too long and a tiny cut on his arm stung. He wondered who had made it safely from Hoth and who wouldn’t be there once he rejoined the Rebellion. He thought of all the things he could have done differently during the attack and the days leading up to it. Surely there had been a way to orchestrate a better outcome, something he should have thought of, done faster or better, but no matter how he turned the events around in his memory, things stayed the same. He always ended up with friends hurt and dead, sitting on the ground on Dagobah to become more sore and heartsick.
Master Yoda gave no indication of how long he would be required to sit there and let go of his thoughts, or fail at letting go of them as it rather was. The tiny old Jedi floated as serenely in the air each time Luke let his eye crack open as he had when they started. He showed no sign of fatigue or impatience. Maybe getting to ride around on Luke’s back while Luke himself pressed his body to the limit had left him at an advantage. If only he would explain more clearly what Luke was supposed to do and how. The method Luke was catching onto where he was expected to come to the right conclusion himself was taking too long. This was no way to defeat the Empire.
Frustrated with the situation and himself, Luke nevertheless resolved to succeed and refocused on his breathing, letting his thoughts pass as they would while he mentally recited in - out to the rhythm of his breaths. Given time, calm and connection with all life in the Galaxy eventually settled over Luke. He was in the present, a spark among many. He saw his path, where he had come from and how it would lead him back to Vader. Back to his father.
Luke snapped his eyes open
The sensations in his lost hand dulled as flesh melted into disguised metal, his clothes changing from a sweat and mud-stained tank top into warm sleep clothes. Dagobah faded around him too, giving way to a grey expanse of nothingness. Master Yoda did not fade, the one solid thing to remain unchanged.
“Close to learning the lesson on meditation you are,” he said meeting Luke’s questioning gaze, “though find a loophole in sleep you have.”
“Master Yoda.”
“Yes. With you I am.”
“I’ve called for you. So many times. You’ve not answered. I need to understand about my father—”
“Have you asked yourself if perhaps ready to hear my answer you were not? Hmm?”
“No, I—”
Master Yoda’s gimer stick appeared, and he whacked Luke on the back of the head with it, a harsh tap that made Luke hunch over, though the sting was light and short lasting.
“Listen now. Angry you were. Anger, still close to the surface lies within you. Fell into the trap you did despite our caution against it. Force you to learn a terrible truth it did. No more ready were you to hear our advice after than you were before. Time was needed. Yes. Yes. Time can bring change. And change you have. Returning to the path towards peace I see you. Why we can speak now that is while we could not before. Guide you I will though returned to me as promised you have not.”
The gimer stick rose threateningly, but it did not fall this time.
Luke ducked his head anyway, the guilt brought on by the words hurting far more than the stick could. “I’m sorry.”
“Yes. Sorry. Help you your regret can if learn from it you do, but let it drown you, you must not. What will you change in the future?”
Luke thought of possible answers, but came up blank and settled on the truth, hunching his shoulders forward in expectation of feeling the gimer stick anew. “I don’t know.”
“Hmm.”
Luke waited, tensed. When nothing happened he looked up and saw that Master Yoda had lowered to sit at level with him. He smiled, eyes crinkling. “Wiser than you believe those words are. No, know you do not. See your friends in danger you did. See many dangers the Force can allow us. Knowing the truth that is not equal to. What can you do when know you do not?”
Proven that punishment wasn’t a given, Luke began to speak freely, a rapid stream of words tumbling out. “Leia has been telling me about the difference between reacting and responding. I think you wanted to teach me that too. To not let my emotions rule me. To take a fraction of a moment even in dire circumstances to look at the full picture and make an informed decision based on intention and potential outcome.”
“Yes. That is part of it. Wanting to save your friends does not a bad person make. It makes you a good person, but a Jedi Knight must be more. Your emotional ties made you disregard your goal. Long have we known that the Empire would not be easily dismantled. Haste your Rebels require with their battles, but patience is necessary to bring peace to the Galaxy. You must not face Vader or the Emperor until you stand a chance to face them and not fall. Ready you must be. Ready you were not when face Vader you did.”
“When will I be ready?”
“That I do not know.” Master Yoda chuckled, yet sobered quickly. “Ah. We may never know until you face your trial. But an educated guess we can make. Return to me on Dagobah you must. Will you come?”
“I…” The quest to find Han required his participation. Many operations Rebel Command had in the works counted on him too. But while another might be able to fill in his place there, finding someone else to take up Jedi training was vastly more unlikely. “I will,” he said. “I’ll come as soon as I can.”
“Soon enough that may be. Yes. Soon enough this may be.”
“What do you mean?”
“See soon you will if you do as you promise. Now, you wake.”
"Master!" Luke rolled out of his bunk bed and crashed to the floor, the dream or vision loosening its grip on him to the weak sound of Master Yoda’s chuckle.
He crawled into a sitting position, and let any irritation or anger that wished to rise fall to the side, smiling instead. “I will see you soon,” he whispered.