Act I, Scene I

A Venice Courtroom

[Enter IAGO, SAUL, GUARD, JUDGE and JURY]

Saul.

Wow, you guys English is really good for the 16th century, I got to say that.

Guard.

Is thou gone mad?

Saul.

Umm, Nay Signior, I hath't gone mad, I merely cometh from a far hence land.

Brabainto.

This is foolish, he doesn't coequal speaketh the language!

Saul.

I guess all those English classes paid off

Judge.

Charge in the court!

[Pounds hammer]

Judge.

The accused, the ensign iago and his protector Saul valorous-sir

Saul.

Your honour, its pronounced 'Good - Man'

Judge.

Silence! The accuser, Brabantio and his protector, the young Lieutenant Cassio

Saul.

You don't need to compare us Signior

Judge.

Mr 'Goodman', prithee refrain from speaking until ye art did betoken to speaketh

Saul.

Uhh 'I understandeth Signior'

Judge.

Fabulous, Thee may beginneth thy first words on the matter of iago's death sentence. Thee hath't the attention of the court.

Saul.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I come before thee to defend a man who hath been wrongfully accused of heinous crimes.

[Points towards Iago]

Saul.

Honest Iago, accused of such barbarity yond 't would maketh him nay different from wolves if 't be true such accusations wast truthful! Now truly I say to you, I am ghast by the crimes committed on the victims of Desdemona and Othello as well as Emilia, but these taxes upon Iago art cruel and unjust! I am yare to swallow mine words if 't be true I am proven wrong, however I truly believeth yond Iago is a truly innocent Signior. I ask thee, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, to keep an open mind as we move forward with this trial. Listen carefully to the evidence presented, and do not be swayed by the words of the prosecution. Iago is innocent until proven guilty, and I intend yond nay one beest did put death for a sin they did not commit. He is a man of honor and loyalty. He hath served his country in Cyprus and other battlefields and his fellow man with distinction. He is no murderer, no conniver, no cheat. He is a man who hath been wronged, and now finds himself in the misguided clutches of the law.

Judge.

A fair statement, saul. What hath the prosecutor did get to sayeth in response?

Cassio.

If it doth please the court, I, Cassio, shall present mine opening statement in opposition to the defense's claims. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before thee as a victim of Iago's treachery. Look upon my wounds! I have been attacked by Iago personally, I have seen it first hand!

Saul.

[whispered] Biased much?

Cassio.

Ahem, If I may continue. Iago hath conspired against me and my closest of friends, hath lied and cheated and manipulated his way into our trust all for what? So that he could carry out his wicked schemes and bring us to ruin to his own ends. I feeleth he did betray, stabbed in the back by this traitor! Iago is a master of deceit. He hath a silver tongue and a heart black as pitch. He hath no honor, no loyalty, no remorse.Behold upon him anon as he sits! If 't be true released, he may yet killeth again! The evidence against him is overwhelming. We have witnesses who have seen him commit these heinous acts. We have physical evidence that places him at the scene of the crimes. We have motive, means, and opportunity. What more need we to prove his guilty and put him to death!

Judge.

Lieutenant Cassio, prithee present thy evidence

Cassio.

Mine evidence signour? Behold at me! With all doth respect, we hath't many witnesses, I may calleth some upon the standeth anon if 't be true thee wish

Judge.

Thee may calleth upon thy witness

Cassio.

I calleth to the standeth, Signior Brabantio.

[Enter BRABANTIO, he moves to the stand]

Judge.

Signior Brabantio, did doth thee knoweth the accused.

Brabantio.

Forsooth, I doth. He wast an ensign, a key ally of othello for many years.

Saul.

Signior Brabantio, if 't be true i may.

Judge.

Saul-

Saul.

Did doth thee knoweth of Othello's promotion of Cassio ov'r Iago, despite Iago's more detailed service record and deeper relationship with the General?

Judge.

Ye art not required to answer yond question Signour.

Brabantio.

I am well acknown of yond, I doth admit to mine confusion of yond choice of Cassio ov'r Othello.

Cassio.

Signour Brabantio, a word prithee.

Brabantio.

Of course Lieutenant.

Cassio.

[Whispered to Brabantio] Zounds, what art thee doing? He is trying to gull thee! Did put in respect ere thee speaketh!

Brabantio.

Cassio, I speaking the truth!

Cassio.

Well how about thee maketh thy truth morso convenient.

Brabantio.

I am did bind by law. I cannot forswear, for thee weren't mine first choice for a lieutenant.

Cassio.

[sigh] Now would beest a valorous time for a drinketh

Brabantio.

[speaking to the full court once again] Any more questions?

Cassio.

[Tiredly] Yond is plenty Brabantio.

Saul.

One last question Brabantio! What did doth thee bethink of Othello marrying to Desdemona?

Brabantio.

I refuse to respond to this

Saul.

[To the Judge] Thy honour, did let us did put aside our emotions and personal biases and focus on the facts of the case, so justice may best be served. Cassio, Brabantio all hath't a personal connection to the case and thereby cannot be impartial. None of those folk hath't coequal mentioned the fact young Rodriego wast did find slain by a villain earlier in Cyprus and Cassio wast nearby.

Cassio.

This is madness! To tax me for the death of yond villain Roderigo? At which hour he did attack me first? Vile!

Judge.

Nay, Saul maketh a valorous point. Ye art all did implicate in the scene as well. Would thee did let a chicken judge a wolf at which hour they art natural enemies?

Cassio.

Judge, this is a villainous showeth of cunning! Who is't in Cyprus wast not connected to the crime?

Judge.

Cassio, you are dismissed!

Cassio.

Thee can't doth this! Ye art betraying justice!

[Guards remove CASSIO]

Saul.

Get that man an Oscar, sheesh

Judge.

How now Saul?

Saul.

Just a word in mine language Signour.

Judge.

Well, saul 't appears 't is down to the jury. This is highly unusual

Saul.

You're telling me sir

Judge.

Sayeth saul, whither doth thee cometh from?

Saul.

Albuquerque

Judge.

Bless thee

Saul.

't's down to the jury, but ere they cometh to their choice. I wanteth to remind everyone yond in fact, Othello wast a unfaithful, mystic moor and Emila wast unfaithful and a whore. Desdemona did hath't did marry the Moor and Cassio wast a drunkyard.

Jury 1.

Zounds!

Jury 2.

How un-venetian!

Saul.

Coequal worse, Cassio wast a floratine!

Jury 1.

Iago did doth nothing wrong!

Judge.

Saul, ye art highly strange

Saul.

I believeth the jury hath cometh to a choice judge.

Judge.

Very well, I findeth Iago not guilty of triple murder, attempted murder and conspiracy.

Saul.

A wise choice Judge

Judge.

Any closing words Goodman?

Saul.

I understandeth yond this verdict may best sore for some to accept, however, the innocence of mine client, Iago, is full proof. They doth calleth him honest iago after all.

[Jury laughs and cheers]

Saul.

I would like to thank the jury for their impartiality and understanding. I would like to thank those folk for their careful close consideration of the evidence as well. I would like everyone to welcome Iago back as a hero, as he has defeated a great injustice.

Cassio.

[Shouting from outside] He did admit to 't! I saw him murder his mistress in cold blood!

Saul.

I would like to wish Cassio a safe trippeth home. Hopefully he doesn't wind up killing anyone on the way thither!

[Jury laughs]

Saul.

Hopefully he doesn't drink and drive!

[Jury is silent]

Saul.

Ehhh you'll get it later. Want to wrap up this case Doc?

Judge.

I hath't nay idea what thee just did doth sayeth

[Saul imitates the act of banging a hammer, to which the Judge slams the gavel on the stand]

Saul.

Well see you later chumps, I got another case to win!

[Saul suddenly disappears, subtly exit Iago ]

Judge.

Well yond wast weird

[Exeunt]