Chapter Text
Max was freaking happy, he had won the Australian Grand Prix after since 2011 no Red Bull driver had been able to finish P1 at Albert Park. It had been a difficult two weeks after Jeddah, frustration had arisen after failing to reduce the gap to Sergio during the race, and although he was happy for his victory, the Mexican had managed to position himself within one point of the championship. And while he may enjoy a good fight for the championship, he didn't when it came to a fight with his own teammate, the press had decided to side with Checo and apparently wanted to generate as much controversy as possible during interviews, his father had come across as utterly swaggering during the team celebration and twitter was on fire using anything to turn the narrative against him.
Generally Max would not have problems with haters, since the 2021 season he had learned to ignore any type of hate campaign, nothing could be worse than his father's comments, however it did not work the same when comments from random people on social networks they matched almost like a retort with the post-race sermon his father had given him and which to his misfortune had lasted the entire week he was in Monaco. Nothing good had definitely come of his second place in Saudi Arabia.
Despite this, this week he had totally improved, now he had widened the points gap in the championship, he had two victories in the bag, his father was nowhere to be seen and three weeks off were coming so he could celebrate with total freedom, but more important than all that, Gian had traveled from the United States and had arrived barely an hour after the race finished, apparently he had planned to surprise him by arriving to see him run but his flight was delayed.
Max had met Gian in 2017 after his victory in the Mexican GP, he was an old friend of Christian's who had his own motorsport-related company in the United States and who had traveled to Mexico to greet his team manager and talk about sponsorships during his stay in that country, however it coincided with his own victory and he ended up being invited to the post-race celebrations.
Gian had been Max's sexual awakening.
At the age of 20, Max had fallen in love with the man with whom he had struck up an easy conversation after escaping from the dinner Christian had organized. Daniel had disappeared at some point in the night and Max couldn't help but feel abandoned, so the other man's presence had been comforting.
Max wasn't stupid, Gian must have been older than him considering he was an “old friend of Horner's ” but he was extremely handsome, blue eyes with long lashes, curly black hair, a beard decorating his face, and an incredible body. Max was ecstatic with the man's presence and Gian's penetrating gaze showed him that he was probably interested too. The younger one later checked it out in the man's room.
From that moment, Gian began to appear in some races. By mutual agreement they had established that they were not a formal relationship, and Max was happy with it, at that time he was completely focused on the races and his schedule did not allow him to have a full-time relationship, however that changed a year ago and now Max was in a formal relationship, even so few people knew, his mother, his sister and Daniel, who found out even before it became official.
So yeah, Max was absolutely happy to have his boyfriend in Australia and he was ready to celebrate. He had arranged to meet George, Nyck , Pierre and Lando (who had invited Oscar) for a night out, he had considered inviting Daniel, however Gian's arrival made him back off, he wouldn't give his partner a hard time with the presence of his Australian friend.
He knew the non-existent relationship between his boyfriend and Daniel was strained, his then-teammate hadn't been happy when he discovered them in his driver's cab just a year after they started seeing each other and had given his a lecture on why hook up with a guy, a man who, in addition to being part of the sponsors of the team, was a friend of his team manager and was 15 years older than him, was not a good idea, of course Max ruled him out, explaining that they were not in a formal relationship and their relationship was merely about sex . Daniel didn't understand how that improved the situation but he let it go, he didn't want to have a bigger conflict with Max and then the younger one would close with him.
For his part, Gian had not stated that he had any problem with Daniel, at least not until a year ago when they began their relationship, then Gian had asked him to reduce his interactions with the Australian, after all, there were many rumors in the paddock, and videos of both of them were always coming out on Twitter , and since his boyfriend couldn't spend so much time with him, he didn't enjoy the bromance when he couldn't have those kinds of interactions with his boyfriend. In the same way he didn´t understand why Daniel had keys to Max's apartment or why they had to spent time outside of the race week when in fact they could spend it together, so Max tried to limit the time he spent with the Australian, of course it was not always easy when Daniel seemed to want to spend as much time as possible with him, but now with Daniel out of the paddock, his partner seemed calmer about that issue
So, that's how Max ended up in a club in Australia with his boyfriend and other friends, he knew that Gian would probably have enjoyed some time alone between the two of them, however the plan was already ready before and he didn't want to cancel either, he knew that his friends wouldn't say anything because of the older man's presence, Max could introduce him as a friend and everything would be fine.
The problem is that not everything was fine, Max had separated from his friends at some point during the night at Gian's request and they had been in a private area of the club until the older man received a business call. He was willing to wait for it, but after the call went on for about 10 minutes, he decided it would be a good idea to go back to his friends while he waited, luckily he found George and Lando who immediately put a drink in his hand and were happy . that the red bull pilot will return to celebrate with them.
Max lost track of time at some point, maybe he had had too many drinks too fast, maybe the exhaustion from the race had helped the alcohol kick in faster, but somehow when Gian came back (almost an hour later) , the youngest was not as sober as he should be and his boyfriend did not look happy at all.
"We're leaving Max" the older man said as soon as he saw his boyfriend "Tomorrow we have to take an early flight" Max was fully aware that they had a trip the next day, but he wasn't happy, Gian had barely spent some time with him.
“You disappeared for almost two hours and now you want to go, can we maybe dance for a while?” the youngest insisted as he took the curly man's hand "Please honey, just a little while longer and we'll go"
"I'm tired, I had a long trip and you already had time to celebrate, you know I don't really enjoy the atmosphere" and yes, of course Max knew, but he had won and they could arrive and sleep, maybe miss their flight and then buy another one .
"Come on Giaaan , have a drink and relax" the blonde replied as he extended a drink to his partner "Besides I won today, aren't you happy for me? I have the right to celebrate”
"Max, you're being impertinent, you can hardly stand up" answered Gian a little angrier "Besides we won't make a scene in front of everyone"
"I'm not making a scene." Well, Max might have been making a scene, he wasn't sure, he was too drunk to collect his thoughts.
"You're doing it, let's go now or you'll have to take a fucking taxi across town, because I'm sure Norris and Russell are in no condition to take you to the hotel."
"Okay, I'll go with Nyck , we're staying at the same hotel" the younger one answered quickly although he wasn't sure, but it would have to be, normally Red Bull and Alpha Tauri booked in the same hotels.
"Okay Max, stay with Nyck then if you find him anywhere, because I'm sure I saw him leave a while ago, don't bother coming to our room" At that moment Gian left the driver behind and headed towards leaving the club.
That was all it took for Max to go after him, he definitely wasn't planning on going to the hotel alone if it was true that Nyck was gone and he also didn't want his boyfriend to be upset with him after he had traveled from far away to spend the night. rest together, a night out was not worth it despite his victory.
"Gian, I'm sorry, I behaved like an idiot" Max apologized as he caught up with him "We'll have more time to go out later and I promise to make it up to you when we arrive to the hotel" Gian had taken him by the head to bring him closer in a hug.
"Okay Max, let's drop this, I'm tired and I want to get to sleep" the older man agreed "We're arguing over something stupid, get in the car now"
Somehow, Max could assure that Gian was still somewhat upset, even though he seemed calmer once they were in the car, his annoyance was still evident and he could feel the tension during the drive. After a few minutes he realized that he was definitely not wrong, the older one was upset and it didn't take long for him to bring up the fact that Max had been willing to take Nyck back to the hotel.
Max was barely listening to his boyfriend's claim, it was just a background voice for his sleepy state, he was dizzy from the conditions of the journey and the alcohol and he knew that if he opened his mouth to answer something he would probably vomit, and oh surprise, he wasn't wrong about that either, when he made the slightest attempt to explain that he had only mentioned Nyck 's option because he wanted to convince Gian to stay a while longer and not because he necessarily wanted to return to him, he ended up vomiting inside the car.
When Max turned to see Gian his expression was one of pure anger.
“Damn Max! You´re acting like a fucking teenager!” the older man yelled as he pulled up in front of a small restaurant that was still open. "First your fucking tantrum at the club and now you throw up in the fucking car!"
"I'm sorry Gian" the youngest was hiccupping, with tears in his eyes after his partner's words, he knew that now he had screwed up completely.
While the older man finished parking the car, Max began to look for some paper from the glove box to try to clean up the mess, somehow the vomiting had made the drunken feeling lessen. "Tomorrow I'll take the car to the car wash before handing it over to the rental agency, I promise"
“Everything is very easy for you, isn't it? Am I too tired to be at a party with you? You find someone else to be with, do you get drunk beyond measure? You look for someone to take care of you, do you shit the damn car? You find someone to fix it for you. Not this time Max, get out of the damn car" the older man demanded.
"What are you talking about? I'm not going out" Max felt tears in his eyes, there was no way for him to get out of the car, the most traumatized part of him told him that the moment he set foot out, Gian would leave him to his fate, but the words of his therapist reminding him that he had to trust the people he loved and who loved him was stopping his intrusive thoughts, he knew his partner would just want him to clean himself up to get the smell off or get a bottle of water or something like that.
"Honey, I'm dizzy, please, we can get to the hotel like this, we'll open the windows to drive away the smell a bit, I'm sorry for all of this" the youngest begged.
"That's not what the fuck is about! I want you to get out of the fucking car now" if Max had thought that he was just misinterpreting his boyfriend's words now he was sure that it wasn't like that, Gian really didn't want him to be in the car, he was going to leave him "You said at the club that you could go with that idiot, well, call him and let him come get you Max, I'm not going anywhere with you under these conditions"
"I-I can't call him, it's late, please, please, I'm so sorry, I promise it won't happen again, none of this" By that time, Max could already feel panic reaching him, the only thing he could think about was of his father abandoning him at a gas station all those years ago, only that this time it was worse.
Gian knew everything Jos had put him through although his dad was already banned from the paddock when they started seeing each other constantly, he had been with him after some bad races when he was young and his dad was so stubborn he appeared on his hotel room ready to punish him, Gian only saw the aftermath of it. Also his boyfriend was aware that right now he was kinda working in his relation with his dad and that was the reason he was on therapy and his dad back in the paddock.
"You can't leave me here, not like him" Max knew he didn't have to explain who he was referring to, the older one knew it.
"Maybe your father had a point Max, let's see if you can learn something now"
"No, you can't say that, fuck, no, no, just turn on the car, let's forget about this and go, please Gian, you're being cruel, you're angry and I understand it, but we can work it out" at that point, Max he was sure that whatever alcohol residue had been in his system even after he vomited was no longer having any effect, panic had washed away every bit of intoxication he had.
“No, I'm going to fix it” said the older one as he got rid of his seat belt.
It all happened too quickly afterward , Gian's hand encircling his arm with tremendous force, Gian dropping him on the gravel after forcibly pulling him out of the car, the man he loved leaving him behind on an Australian highway in the middle of the night.
Suddenly, he was that 14-year-old boy whose father had abandoned him at a gas station, panic and anxiety had left him paralyzed, the realization that he was alone, without his phone and wallet had only made everything worse, Gean hadn't even bothered to check that the youngest will carry his belongings.
Max wasn't sure how long he had been sitting, waiting and begging for someone to come get him, his head had started to ache as a result of how hard he was squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to stop crying, maybe he had also pulled a little of his hair in the midst of his desperation, he knew he was in the middle of a panic attack, he could feel how he was short of breath and the numbness in his extremities, it was not the first time it had happened, however it was the first time in several years that no one was around to help him.
In a panic, the Dutchman had not even noticed the person who was approaching him.
" Hey kid! Damn, leave your arms! You're hurting yourself.” Max wasn't even aware that he was scratching at his arms.
“How dare that idiot leave you alone in these conditions? Come on child, breathe, open your eyes and follow my breath” slowly Max opened his eyes just capturing the face of a middle-aged lady.
"That’s it, that’s it, you're not alone darling, keep breathing with me" the comforting words of the lady who was now accompanying him had somehow come to his mind, he was no longer alone.
After a few minutes and hundreds of attempts to calm down, he could finally feel the air reaching his lungs.
The simple "Thank you" that Max had been able to formulate to thank the lady in front of him had fallen short of expressing how grateful he felt. He knew he wouldn't have been able to get over the panic attack on his own.
He could still feel the pain in his head and his arms burned after having hurt them in the middle of the panic, despite this he now had other problems on his mind, apparently the lady, Darcy, who turned out to be the owner of the restaurant, had already thought about it. Well, the moment Max managed to get up, the lady told him to enter the small room and offered him his own phone and some tea.
"It's your choice if you call someone who can come for you or if you want to stay, I have an extra room upstairs"
For the first half hour after Gian had left him to his own devices, Max had held out the hope that he would come back for him, but that hadn't happened, so now his best option was a taxi, he could get to the hotel and go up the stairs, take some money from his room and pay, however the older woman one seemed to read his eyes.
"Kid, I hope you're not considering going alone, I couldn't be calm if I let you go alone in these conditions"
And if the young man was honest, he didn't want to go alone either, perhaps a few hours ago at the club he had felt capable of doing so, but not after a panic attack as intense as the one he had experienced.
So that left him with limited options, he could accept the extra room, but despite the lady's kindness, he didn't want to bother more than he already had, and he also didn't see it as right to invade a stranger's space, without taking keep in mind that if the lady had already recognized him, she could leak any kind of story to the press. "Think wrong and you'll be right" his father had told him after Max had accepted the advice an older boy had given him in his karting days and ended up sending him down the wet side of the track costing him a week locked in his room without being able to go out more than for his workouts.
On the other hand, the option of calling someone to go for him was complicated knowing that it was already too late, besides, the only person who knew Australia well enough to reach him without it being a risk was Daniel.
Daniel who had probably seen the stories Lando and George uploaded during the night while they were out partying, the same one he had barely spoken to during his time in Australia and actively ignored. Definitely Daniel could send him to hell as soon as he answered "if he answers" he thought, and he would have deserved it.
So he reached a consensus, he would try to call Daniel, if he didn't answer, he would take the room that Darcy was offering him and leave early in a taxi. Something inside him longed for the Australian to respond.
As Max waited anxiously to hear his friend's sleepy voice on the other end of the line, Daniel was extremely upset. Leaving the phone on vibrate overnight had been a bad idea in the first place, the sound of the phone bouncing off his wood desk had managed to wake him up, and secondly, who the hell was calling him at 3:00 in the morning on a Monday?
Perhaps if the contact had been registered, they would have been encouraged to take the call, it could well be an emergency, but an unknown number? They could go to hell no matter how much the number was from the country. So he hung up the call and put the phone back on the table, now silent.
And third mistake, he had left the phone with the screen facing up, so as soon as another call came in, he had the light of his phone illuminating his room, even so going to turn the phone would mean having to get up again, he could tolerate a little bit of light. However, just a few seconds after the call attempt had ended, his phone was back on. And fuck, whoever was on the other end of the line was going to listen to Daniel.
"I don't know who you are but fuck, stop disturbing my phone" warned the Australian preparing to hang up the call.
"Daniel?" A familiar voice answered on the other end of the line, that was enough to draw the older man's attention back to the call "I - sorry, sorry it was stupid to call you at this time, I'm sorry"
Daniel should hang up the call, ignore Max the way he ignored him all weekend after they hadn't spent time together for anything but work in months, should yell at him annoyed for waking him up in what seemed to be a drunk phone call, for being pushed away by his stupid boyfriend and simply not realizing how much Daniel loved him, there were so many things why Daniel should have ignored Max's call, and yet he couldn't hang up in the moment that he was able to recognize the Dutchman's voice through his sleepy state.
“Max” declared the Australian “What are you doing calling me at this hour and why isn't it from your phone?” questioned.
"I'm sorry, because of the time and everything, I had a situation, and I don't have my phone, and I'm far away, I don't know exactly where, and I know that you have no obligation to me, b-but I didn't know who to call, and you know the city, I'm sorry, that was stupid” Max's voice broke and the older man could imagine the tears accumulating in the blue eyes that he tended to go crazy for.
"Call a taxi Max, I bet they know the city well" Daniel replied with a sarcastic tone.
"Sorry Dan, I shouldn't have called, I'm sorry for waking you up so late" the youngest apologized before ending the call.
Daniel felt proud of himself for not giving in to the minor, however the feeling only lasted a few minutes after the other had finished the call.
He knew Max wouldn't have called him if taking a taxi was an option, but the moment the Dutchman had expressed the reason for calling him he couldn't help but feel his blood boil, he couldn't believe Max had the nerve to looking for him to practically be his driver after a night out (to which he was not invited) after how he had treated him in recent months, apparently their friendship that had survived Daniel leaving Red Bull, had not done so well after Max began an official relationship with Gian.
Their friendship that worked beyond the races was now tense and Max had had very questionable attitudes with him, Daniel had not even received a message from the minor to let him know that he was happy for his return to Red Bull, he had not been with him when McLaren dropped him from the team, or when Daniel was at his most depressed point of the season, so Daniel had every right to tell Max to go to hell.
Yet he couldn't, he could never ignore the minor, not in the same way Max had, either Daniel might be too stupid or he might not have an ounce of dignity but when it came to Max his reason gave way.
Daniel returned the call and Max answered on just the second ring.
"Dan?"
Daniel's heart could break at that moment, Max's voice cracked as he said his name and it was evident that he had been crying in the short time between the two calls.
“ Maxy , do you know where you are, can you send me your location from the number where you are calling me?” the Australian asked as calmly as he could muster.
"You don't have to come, it was stupid to call you at this time, you should be resting" declared the minor "I can stay here, D- Darcy , the owner of the restaurant offers me a room and I'll leave early tomorrow"
"There is no way" thought the Australian. He couldn't leave Max alone with a stranger, he knew he would need someone to ground him, years of friendship with the Red Bull driver had given him the experience to identify and control a panic attack and whether his sleepy state wasn't fooling him, he was pretty sure Max was starting to get one just by hearing his voice.
Only Daniel knew that Max did not tolerate physical contact but that he appreciated being cradled once he left his mental lair, he knew how to gently remove his hands from his hair and arms when the mental pain became too much for the minor and turned him into something physical and above all he had learned to recite the right words that could sneak into the storm that was becoming the Dutchman's mind almost like a mantra.
He couldn't ensure that a stranger would go through the painstaking process he'd designed to comfort Max. So whatever the reason why the Dutchman had ended up in the current situation, he couldn't afford to leave him alone, Max needed someone who knew how to contain him, so this time (as in many others) it wasn't about him, he could postpone his negative emotions about the minor for another occasion.
"Honey, it wasn't stupid, I want to help you, but I need you to clear your head and help me get to you, okay?"
"Dan, I'm really sorry for everything, I don't deserve your help" replied the Dutchman "Not after how I treated you"
"No Max, honey, you can't say that" Daniel had always hated Max's self-contempt, it was something that came with the minor since he knew him.
"But it's true" replied the younger "We haven't even been talking, and now he abandoned me and the first thing I do is run to you, you don't deserve that"
Doubt had settled in Daniel's mind. “Who had abandoned Max?" he thought he had the answer, but he hoped he was wrong. He decided to push that topic to the back of her mind and focus first on finding out where Max was.
"Maxy , I know we haven't talked, but we can fix it later, right now I only care that you're safe" the Australian insisted "Please, tell me where you are"
"I-I can't Dan, I can't" the younger was crying again, for some reason, he had never been able to contain his emotions when it came to Daniel.
"Max, I'm so sorry I hung up earlier, but right now I need to make you be safe."
"The boy is with me in the Rusty Fig , kilometer 33 on the road that leads to the urban area” interrupted the voice of a lady who Daniel supposed to be Darcy , Max had mentioned her before.
He knew that restaurant, barely 30 minutes from the hotel zone where he was, very far from the nightclub where the Dutchman had been spending the night, Daniel didn't want to think again how Max had ended up there alone.
"Daniel you don't have to come, please don´t come, het Spijt me, het Spijt me, het Spijt me, I deserve this, I'm so sorry” a desperate Max repeated over and over again on the phone. By Max´s words, the older man knew that right now he was somehow punishing himself for calling him and for whatever that had happened before he called him.
Daniel could now hear how Darcy tried to calm Max down without any success, the crying was still present and the minor seemed to be in a loop, also in his experience, it did not help that Max began to confuse their languages.
"What can I do? It's the second time he's been like this, it looks like he's going to drown” asked the now also distraught lady on the other end of the line.
"Put me back on the phone with him" asked the Australian " Schat , you have to breathe, follow my breath, okay?" Daniel asked quietly as he got into his car, he had taken advantage of part of the call to enlist " haal diep adem and now loszittend ” Daniel could hear Max trying to follow his directions “Again Max”
Daniel learned a few phrases in Dutch, at least the ones he would consider basic to help Max (or annoy him with on some occasions). Victoria had helped with a few small classes, although the accent and pronunciation were tricky and Daniel was sure they weren't quite right and that in his Australian accent the language sounded ridiculous, it seemed to put the Dutch even more at ease than the English, so Daniel could go through the shame for him
“Liefje count with me, use your fingers” Daniel indicated “Een twee drie vier vijf zes zeven acht negen tien”
“Een twee drie vier vijf zes zeven acht negen tien” repeated the minor slower.
“That’s it honey, you are doing excellent” Daniel congratulated “Now, can you tell me three things that you see around you?”
“ Een lamp , een spiegel en Darcy. ” Daniel hadn't understood the first two things Max had said, but at least he sounded calmer.
"I'm sure Darcy doesn't count as a thing Maxy, but that's okay."
A soft laugh had come from the other side of the line, the older one could feel his pulse relaxing.
“Je doet het uitstekend Maxy , keep breathing calmly" asked Daniel
"I'm so tired" replied the minor
"Where are you Maxy? Try to lay down, close your eyes, I'll be with you in a few minutes” promised the older man.
Daniel knew firsthand the exhaustion that a panic attack produced, he hadn't experienced many, but he had experienced it himself, and he had certainly seen Max put into a drowsy state, so he wouldn't be surprised if he came and he found the minor asleep, besides, it was already too late and the drop in alcohol must already be taking its toll.
"Liefde, please don't hang up, " the youngest pleaded in a whisper.
"No honey, I'm with you" replied the Australian "Closer and closer"