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Leia slept soundly, once.
As a child, she was rarely troubled with nightmares; instead, she dreamt of the future, and all that she would be, and all that she would create.
After the Death Star, she dreamt of Darth Vader.
Every night, without fail, he was there, haunting her dreams, reminding her of how she had failed to save her people. Every night she felt him rip through her mind once again, the interrogation droid at his side.
I won’t tell you anything.
She’d wake up sweating, or crying, and go about her day.
Years passed by, and she saw him less and less in her dreams. But every time she let down her guard, he was back again, him and his monstrous breathing and his hideous mask. She hated him with everything she had.
She would kill him one day, she told herself.
That night on Endor, after the second Death Star had been destroyed, Leia dreamt of Vader again. Unlike so many other nightmares, this was not a memory — or, if it was, it wasn’t hers. She stood on a planet drenched in heat and smoke, rivers of lava scarring its ashen land. In the distance was a black fortress, shrouded in smog.
Mustafar, she realised. She had never set foot on it, and she had heard enough about the small volcanic world to hope that she never would.
She heard the breathing, then. In, and out, growing louder with each breath. He stepped out of the fog and came closer, closer, until he stood right in front of her. His breathing was louder than it had ever been before, and for what seemed like forever he stood there, in front of Leia, and stared at her. She met his gaze. Luke had told her he’d changed; bullshit, Leia decided.
Briefly, Leia wondered if he might say something, before he lit his lightsaber. She reached for her blaster and found her holster empty. Vader brandished his sword.
Leia fled. What else was there to do? She ran until she had reached a lava bank, and found herself cornered. Vader was still behind her, and she turned to look at him. If he wanted to kill her, wouldn’t he have done so already?
“What do you want?” She shouted over the deafening sound of his breathing. “Why are you here? You should be dead! I’ve seen your ashes!”
Vader didn’t reply, but slowly moved closer. His lightsaber had vanished, Leia noticed. She waited. He didn’t move.
Leia suddenly felt a surge of anger — anger for her planet, and how he stood by as Tarkin destroyed it; anger for Luke, who had idolised him all his life; anger for everyone he had mercilessly slaughtered; anger for the fact that he wouldn’t say anything.
“Why won’t you fucking leave me alone? ”
They both were standing near the edge of the bank now. For a moment, there was only the sound of Vader’s exaggerated breathing.
Kriff it, Leia thought, and shoved him.
He was surprisingly light, tumbling down the rocks to land just next to the lava flow. He made no attempt to save himself, and his cape caught on fire first, and the flames spread throughout his body. He didn’t scream — he didn’t say anything, actually. Leia watched as he burned, satisfaction filling the holes Vader had carved with fear. As the flames ran up his body he reached out towards her, as if to ask her for help.
If Luke was here, Leia thought, he would save Vader now, pity overpowering his sense of self-preservation. But Leia wasn’t Luke, and Leia didn’t care if he said that Vader was her father, or that Vader was good, once, or that Vader was anything.
Vader burned and burned, and turned to ashes ( again , Leia thought with some humour). When there was nothing of him left, it began to rain. It didn’t rain on Mustafar, Leia knew, but then, she wasn’t really on Mustafar anymore, was she?
The blackened soil around her became filled now with green life; the fortress, Vader’s castle, became replaced with mountains; the rivers of lava turned to water. She had come to Alderaan.
Vader was gone from everywhere that mattered, as dead in her dreams as he was in reality. She had hated him, but now why should she? There was no him to hate.
“I guess I should move on,” Leia said to herself, aloud, and sat down. The sky cleared, and children ran in the fields before her, laughing and tumbling. The birds sang and the sun shined and for a moment, everything was perfect.
Then her dream began to fade, and everything was black, and she felt the warmth of Han beside her.
Leia woke up and never dreamt of Darth Vader again.
