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“Mommy, why isn’t the turtle swimming around?” The sad ancient turtle looks up at Allison from inside his tank, and she ponders on this connection he doesn’t know they have. Being watched, expected to entertain and feeling trapped. She starts combing her fingers through Claire’s hair as if to remind herself she isn’t in her tank anymore, she’s free.
“I dunno baby,” Allison says ,“maybe he’s tired?”
Claire twists her head up, nudging Allison’s hand away and scowls, “he doesn’t look tired?” Taking a step forward she places her hands on the glass, sticking her face right up against. “He doesn’t look tired, Mommy. It’s lunch time why isn’t he eating like you said?”
She’d love to tell Claire the reason, that after getting her excited that they’d bought the special lunch time feeding tickets, where scuba divers would be in the tanks, they missed it because Patrick can’t tell the difference between 10 and 11, a problem that will need to be fixed later. He also can’t manage to do a simple task like remembering the camera, so they can have pictorial evidence of Claire’s disappointment.
She tries to get Claire away from the tank and towards a different more lively exhibit, the furrowing of her brows is something Allison recognises well as a tantrum, and out in public, having chosen not to try disguise herself, that’s the last thing she wants.
Sometimes, and it pains her to say this, she wonders if her and Patrick were ready, had they been married long enough. It’s when she’s struggling to sleep Allison is confronted by the fact that all she ever dreamed of wasn’t making her as happy as she thought. She should be happier she’s having a day out with her family, she catches her reflection in the tank, little Claire’s too. Reflection Allison stares into her soul and she could do what she does when this feeling engulfs her at home, she could but she cant. Not here, not in front of Claire.
Momentarily distracted, she watches as Claire’s eyes dart around the tank, the turtle not having interest in Claire or her entertainment swimming away. She’s not the only little girl he has been expected to entertain today, she won’t be the last. Claire however starts getting angry. “He’s swimming away, bring him back,” she presses her hands further, her voice getting louder and her demands of the turtle growing.
Face getting angrier by the minute and watching as Claire is preparing to hit the glass, Allison quickly runs over to stop her. She doesn’t need to create a scene, she wishes Claire wouldn’t, that she could accept that she can’t always control things. Some things are just the way they are. Allison isn’t sure when these behaviour issues started, the demands, maybe Allison gives in to them too much and it’s why they've increased, maybe this is normal and kids through tantrums when they are not being raised as soldiers.
And then something!
“Claire bear, look over there it’s one of the divers!” The relief she feels seeing them is substantial, the promise she made for her daughter to see divers not broken after all. The diver even notices them and waves, making Allison more excited.
Claire however turns around, a deeper scowl growing as she point into the tank.“That’s not a mermaid, Mommy, that’s just someone in swim clothes.”
Baffled, Allison looks down at her. “I never said there would be mermaids. Did Dad tell you there were going to mermaids?” Because Patrick filling Claire’s head with lies and fantasy was the last thing she needed right now.
“You said there’s people in the water feeding the fish.”
“There is, baby.” Reaching down she scoops Claire up, at three she’s getting heavy now and Allison doesn’t like accepting that her strength isn't what it used to be. But she clings to Claire anyways and she stpes further towards the glass. The diver doesn’t seem to be doing anything more than maintenance as she checks on a pipe, she even sees Allison and Claire watching and she pauses to wave again.
“See Claire, she’s saying hi, wave back.” She lifts Claire’s arm to help her because the diver seems to be watching them now, but Claire resists, pulling her arm back and fighting against Allison’s hold.
“No. People in water are mermaids, that’s just a person.” Her face is getting redder by the minute. She starts wiggling more, making Allison only hold her tighter, she knows a tantrum, she can see it happening, another national enquirer headline how Allison Hargreeves is a terrible mother, Perez Hilton will be all over it, how can Allison maintain a career when she can’t even control a three year old.
Claire starts screaming now, she’s grabbing Allison’s hair in clumps, demanding to be put down so she can unleash her terror
Allison looks over her shoulder, Patrick left to get the camera only two minutes ago, she has time.
“I heard a rumour, you saw a mermaid swim out from behind the rock.”
“Mommy!” Claire says, so much joy in her voice, painful in the sense it took mind control to bring it out of her, but there's a also a sense of joy and pride that Allison is the one who made her this happy.
She’s proud of herself, she’s a good mother, and then she sees Patrick standing in the opposite doorway. Hurt and pained, probably betrayed by seeing Allison do something she promised never to do but before he gets a chance to be smug, she looks him dead in the eye, “I heard a rumour you don’t remember seeing that. We’re having a nice day.”
In the few seconds that follow, Patrick set’s up the camera, Allison lifts Claire up and they snap a picture of their happy family. When the polaroid pops out Allison cant help but smile at it, in the beautiful white boarders she sees her family, all toothy grins. The kind of picture she can have Oprah show when she has her on to talk about family and when Claire asks why the mermaid isn’t in the picture she can say “Sweetie remember they’re called divers.”