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Chapter Text

0600 ET
LAURIEL, ALEXIS J, PASSENGER - 24TH COLONIST GROUP
LOCATION: RESOLUTE WING D R12

The 24th Colonist Group was the largest Resolute trip yet. People were literally packed like sardines in a flimsy matchbox. I don't blame them for it, though. Earth's climate was dissolving into oblivion at an exponential rate. Humans, of course, traveled in literal hordes from all over the globe for a small chance to save their own hides.

Wow, look at that, little Jimmy! The sleek, shiny Resolute, designed by no other than Maureen Robinson and her legendary crew! Oh! The Resolute will save us!

I sighed and pushed the blanket off my legs. This year, the Resolute had reached its occupancy limit in record time: 4 days. It took 4 days  for over 900 humans (that's 32 passenger Jupiters alone - each with their own average occupancy of 6 - not including the flight staff, maintenance crew, various workers, etc.) to pack up and leave Earth behind, forever. Humanity's only home - abandoned and deserted as the atmosphere wages war on the ground.

Ha. No one expected the entry tests. Each entry test failed (and there was a lot) only opened up a slot to be filled. That was one of the most stressful things about the exams - no one was rooting for you. There was nothing defining about you. Oh, don't stress yourself out. There's always someone who wants it more than you. You were no more replaceable than a scuffed-up boot. That was the main turn-off in years past, but I guess this year, everyone had a chance to study.

I passed, obviously, and my parents landed a job in the control rooms. My mother, atmospheric specialist, and my dad, chief of Internal Systems. Flight 24 was one of the last remaining before the heroic Resolute had to be replaced - damages, and all that jazz. The last remaining chance to see my brother, Boris Lauriel. I guess even Maureen's precious Resolute can't hold up against the passage of time. 

Bit weird, our names. Alex and Boris. I suppose my name isn't the most...foreign sounding? Tell that to my dad. he insisted  upon it, being the #1 British guy in the world. My mother's Ukrainian.

Boris is my twin. I wish he could've gone with Mom and Dad and I. He's got this lung condition, so of course he had to be off the second Earth's air went to shit. But why didn't we all go together? I suspect, though they won't admit it, that my parents wanted Boris and my grandparents to 'scope the land'. Make sure that Alpha Centauri was worth it for the rest of us. Somewhere, deep down, I know it. That's why we're stuck here on Flight 24. Which is so dreadfully, dreadfully crowded.

I rolled from my bed, feeling the coldness from the floor seep between my toes. A couple strands of hair fell from the braids running down either side of my head. Damn. I'd been experimenting with different braids recently - Mom had insisted that this one would get my hair the waviest. I combed my fingers through my hair, feeling the loose braids dissolving under my touch. Ebony strands fell into my eyelashes, ensuring that this dark morning started out with a frustrated groan.

I didn't dare turn on the lamp, for fear of waking my mom. Like most mothers, she's a bitch when she's woken up. Instead, I opted for the starlight that lightly ghosted the room.

The view outside was dark and starry, just like it was every morning, day, and night. With my window at the very back end of the Resolute, I could see the pinprick of light I'd been tracking for the past few months - Lillith. According to the map down in the dining hall, Lillith was actually a star about 40 light years away name A-T3. A red dwarf. I don't know. I've just been tracking it for shits and giggles. Lillith was just crossing the Resolute's southern hemisphere at about 72 degrees. Interesting, I mentally noted, whatever the hell that meant.

All I knew was that it'd been getting smaller and smaller as we came closer and closer to Alpha Centauri. Which only reminded me of how our sun was getting smaller and smaller the closer we got. Soon enough, it'd be all alone. I tried to stomach the aching feeling I got whenever I thought that.

I took a breath and pushed towards the door. Blood rushed from my head to my feet as I staggered to the door.

BANG!

My hand leaped back from the doorknob like it'd scarred me. 

My heartbeat pounded in my ears.

BANG!

I jumped again, breath catching in my throat. It sounded closer this time-

"Adam! Stop it!"

It took me a moment to piece it together. Adam...that was our neighbor's name...the toddler boy?

I carefully unlatched the door, mindful of my shaky hands. With a hiss, the door unlocked, light flooding into the darkened room.

"Adam! Put that down!"

Our neighbor Jamie scooped Adam up in her arms. Adam shrieked and thrashed about, waving his plastic hammer like a maniac, but Jamie held him fast. "I swear to God, Adam, they're gonna have us kicked off this ship!" Adam responded with an ear-piercing wail. I winced as Jamie let out another frustrated grunt, her blond hair already messed up.

Jamie spied me in the doorframe. Color rushed to her cheeks. "Oh my goodness, did Adam wake you up?" The corners of her lips instantly shot up. Her tone was all apologetic simpering, but I knew her neatly manicured fingernails were clenched so hard into Adam's ribs right now-

I shook my head silently. Jamie shot me another "sorry," and whisked Adam into their apartment. I could still hear their muffled yells through the walls.

"Що це було..."

I turned back to see my mother sitting up in bed. Her dark hair hung in her face, and from the way her shoulders slumped I knew she'd been up all night. "нічого, тільки сусіди..." I mumbled. My mom spoke her native tongue better when she was drowsy. "Вже шоста ранку, перед сніданком піду в душ," I said quietly, motioning towards the door.  

She nodded sleepily and immediately fell back into her pillow. As I tapped the lock code into the door, I could hear her snores already echoing off the walls. Poor mom. I hoped she'd be up in time for breakfast.

I wondered if my dad had heard all the commotion. And for a fleeting second, I wondered if Boris had. 

Boris probably would've slept right through it. I swear - that kid could find a place to sleep on a jet plane carrying a cageful of elephants. He'd always have to be dragged out of bed and thrown on the floor before he even opened an eye. I smiled to myself as I softly tiptoed down the hallways leading to the showers.

And this is where the crowded part comes in. Not only do you, as a loyal Resolute Colonist, have 4 year old neighbors that love to scream and cry at 6 in the morning, but the showers have freaking. Time. Limits. 

Yes.

Our showers.

Are.

Timed.

"Oh, everyone has the right to have a hot shower in the morning! Your journey on the Resolute will be an unforgettable experience that you can put in the memory books forever! Remember: We're All In This Together! Make sure to tag us in all your Resolute related posts! #TheResolute:ItsWhereUWannaBe"

Like hot water conservation is such a big deal. Just think about it: if a passenger really wanted a hot shower, they'd be up earlier than I am right now. There should've been a dedication test back on Earth - a contest to see who was the most committed to their hot showers.

A couple people were already streaming from the silver doors to the showers. I squeezed past them, nearly bumping into this one girl still in a towel. "Sorry," she mumbled. I glanced up, noticing the red strands of hair that still stuck to her neck. "You are fine," I muttered back, my accent thicker than usual, and pushed through the door. "You are fine." God, it sounds like you've never spoken a word of English before, I thought with a grimace. 

The humidity hit me like a truck. No wonder those waves never stay in your hair... I made my way over to the wall of lockers amidst the women milling about. I grabbed an armful of towels from my locker along with my regular day suit. Same old red shirt...same old cargo pants...same old scruffy boots.

I sighed and skimmed the open showers, praying that B-14 was still open. B-14 was the one all the way in the back corner that was rumored to have an obscene amount of black mold, which was why no one ever used it. 

I was the one who started the rumor. Luckily, it was still holding strong, as even B-13 and -12 were empty. I glanced to my right, hoping that no one was watching as I walked to the totally-mold-infested shower with my towels in hand. 

I held my wrist up to the scanner on the shower door. The faint red light washed over the small chip embedded beneath my skin, and I felt a faint prickle as I stepped into the small cubicle. Now, this is where the crazy part comes in: part of the information in the Colonist database was the amount of hot water you used, per week. The small screen directly across from me blinked to life in bright orange letters -  Welcome, Lauriel, Alexis. 10:00. The timer. There was a small square that showed the liters of water used, as well as the average temperature of the water. I yawned, slipped out of the Rolling Stones T-shirt, set my things down in a little cubby built in the wall, and rolled out my shoulders.

The moment I twisted the knob for the shower, the bright orange letters began counting down. 09:59. 09:58. 09:57. 09:56. I knew from past experiences that the moment the timer hit 00:00, the water would shut off completely, leaving you soaking wet, freezing, and covered from head to toe in soap suds. Not the most pleasant experience, especially at the asscrack of...

Of...

...6 am...?

I guess there's no dawn in space.

I ran my fingers through my hair, letting the recycled water fully soak in. The one thing I was so, so fired up to miss. Back on Earth, the water was one of the first things to go. Pollution levels skyrocketed just like the housing market, as atmospheric gas levels went haywire. My mom was one of the researchers on Project Aeolous, the program that was in charge of keeping certain parts of the atmosphere in check long enough to maintain the population before all went to shit. She was the one who helped come up with the designs for those godawful gas masks we had to wear - something that I may never forgive her for.

I hoped all the cheesy posters of smiling families plastered all over the Resolute were true - that Alpha Centauri was the New Earth. No pollution, no political disputes over human essentials, no global panicking, no waking up in the morning wondering if the literal air that you breathe may be the death of you. Because maybe, just maybe, that would make this water situation more bearable.

6:32. 6:31.

I rubbed a bit harder at a particular doodle on my hand that refused to come off. My mom never liked my homemade tattoos - she always says I'm going to get ink poisoning. I just think that she has a certain prejudice against Sharpied turtles. She always tells me about the time when she was attacked by a snapping tortoise at a zoo...

A muffled bang came from somewhere. My ears pricked back for a moment, before I remembered Adam's little tantrum. I rolled my eyes and kept scrubbing at the turtle. Really, I like some kids, but Adam was one of the worst people I'd ever meant - and yes, I know he's only 4 years old. I think the only reason they let a freaking 4 year old on a spaceship was because his mother was his only family. I wanted to feel bad, I really did, but honestly-

Another bang. Something swirled in my stomach, and I stopped scrubbing for a moment. Jamie - get your damn kid or I swear to God-

BANG.

My eyes widened and my hand flew towards the shower knob. The water slowly dripped to the floor...

Drip.

Drip.

BANG! BANG!

The world was suddenly thrown into a bright red light and sirens blared like the screams I could hear from somewhere - everywhere-

My brain went into overdrive, my stomach dropped and my face felt cold. Those were warning lights - the lights they assured us would never come on-

BANG! BANG! BOOM.

Surely this couldn't be happening - this was just a drill - how the hell would they let this happen-

Drill or not, my senses went into overdrive. I barely felt the cold air gripping my skin as I sprinted to the door.

Attention. All passengers please report to your Jupiters. Attention. All passengers please report to your Jupiters.

BANG!

I snatched my towel and shirt from the cubby, leaving the day suit behind. I hastily wrapped the towel around me as I pushed against the door. I know, I know I shouldn't care about people seeing me naked, especially with all the screams telling me I was getting closer to death by the minute, but I didn't have the time to be rational.

Women were already sprinting towards the door, each in varying levels of dress. I threw the shirt over my top half as I joined the panicked crowd in the rush to the door, hoping that it might add some form of protection to whatever was out there. A woman tripped and fell onto the slick tiles below with a yelp. I bent as quick as I could to yank her up without getting trampled myself, but before I could really check on her the crowd surged forward and I was pushed away.

As I stumbled into the chaos, one thing was immediately clear.

The fire.

Bright, red fire licked the walls, leaving smears of black along the walls. The smoke was choking, alarms blended into the screams, red lights flashed on and off and on and off. 

BANG!

The blast nearly knocked me off my feet. I staggered back, covering my eyes - something was burning -

I looked down. Jamie's hand was latched around my ankle. The neatly manicured nails dug into my leg. Something was burning-

In my panic, I pulled away. Something I would later regret - but the adrenaline and the crowd pushed me forward. 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Tears blurred my vision - my chest was searing - I wanted my mom so, so bad - where the HELL was my mom - 

Attention. All passengers please report to your Jupiters.

My Jupiter - my Jupiter was two sections down. But the fire was coming closer - people were screaming -

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Adam's screams rang above anything else - and I caught a glimpse of him above the heads of people. He stood in the doorway to his apartment, his teddy bear clutched in his arms, hair plastered to his bleeding forehead, tears streaming down his face as he cried for his mother.

"Adam!" I yelled, voice marred with smoke. "Adam - Adam!! Adam!"

He saw me - and he stiffened. "Adam! Hurry!" I held my arms out. I smiled wide, a Joker smile, tears streaming down my face as well. As I muscled through the crowd towards him, my voice softened. "Adam...hello my friend..." 

He buried his face in my chest, tears immediately soaking through to my skin. I wrapped my arms around him and hefted him up. I turned to leave-

There it was.

BANG!

A seven foot tall...thing. Clawed, spiked, its face looking directly at Adam and I...

I rolled away from the doorway, just as the shot blew the door to smithereens. Adam and I both screamed and I tucked him tighter to my chest, all thoughts from my mind. "Adam, it's going to be okay-" I sobbed, stumbling to my feet. That thing - it was coming--

My feet carried me down the hall. Adam's fists dug into my shoulders as he burrowed deeper into my chest, and I ran- ran- ran- slid- twisted- ducked-

BANG! BANG!

The white bays of the Jupiters flew past as I sprinted down the hallway - faster, faster, faster... "It is going to be good, Adam, I swear it is going to be good," I screamed - the only way I could get to him past the blood smearing the walls and the blasts shaking the floor- he wailed again and again his mother's name- the only thing keeping me from dissolving into tears was the feeling of Adam's teddy bear pressed into my stomach-

I slid into the stark white bay of Jupiter 16 and pressed Adam against the docking doors - as far into the bay as possible. I slammed my wrist into the scanner. "Please, come on- come on-"

Error processing. Please try again. 

"Come ON!"

Error processing. Please try again.

I cursed, cursed in every language I knew, slammed my wrist again and again- 

Adam's bloodcurdling scream cut me off. I whipped around-

It stood there, spindly hand raised-

The bright orange fireball it held in its hand grew, brightened-

I shot my arm out towards Adam, but it was too late - he clenched his bear tighter and screamed-

"MOMMY!"

Jamie crashed into the robot, blood seeping down her forehead, and it stumbled to the side. 

She looked straight at me. Fire blazed in her eyes. Her mouth formed the words - Go! - but her eyes said it all. 

Protect him.

The robot got to its feet, fireball raised.

"Mommy!"

Welcome, Alexis Lauriel.

The doors slid open with a hiss. I grabbed Adam's wrist and threw him inside.

"Mommy!"

"Adam!"

I slammed the close button.

I screamed, screamed as loud as I could. Screamed louder than ever before, pushing my vocal chords harder and harder-

Because I wouldn't dare let Adam hear that bang.

Adam stopped crying. He hugged his bear, watching me with terror in his eyes. I fell silent, staring right back as I caught my breath. Sweat poured down my forehead, and I could feel the back of my shirt sticking to a particular spot. Adam's cut on his forehead was still bleeding rather heavily, but that may have just been the tears.

"Adam-" My accent hung thick in the air. A tear slipped down his cheek.

Attention Jupiters. This is Victor Dhar. Please evacuate the Resolute as quickly as possible. 

I hauled him to his feet, a smile barely ghosting my cracked lips. "You good, yes?" I ruffled his hair. 

I grabbed my flight suit from its rack on the wall, and tossed the spare one to Adam. "You put this on?" He nodded numbly, unshed tears shining in his eyes. "You hurry, you hurry fast," I said, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. 

I threw the towel to the side - hey, the T-shirt covered it - and yanked my suit on. Oh, how glad I was that months of drills had prepared me for this moment. With shaking fingers, I buckled the suit around my throat. Adam, however, needed a bit of help.

"Hey- приятель," I said softly, nudging the bear from his arms. He held fast. "We must- we must fly. You want to fly? You help me fly?"

He sniffled, but released the bear.

With deft fingers, I helped him into the too-big suit. I wrapped the extra leg material around his calves, hoping that we wouldn't have to walk around too much. Then, I handed back his bear in his helmet. 

Attention Jupiters-

"Adam, we must go now. Yes, приятель? Look- you bear want to fly too!" I motioned to his bear. He didn't respond.

I squatted before him so we were eye to eye. He looked away, lower lip trembling. I ran my hand over his forehead. "It is going to be good Adam, I promise." I took him in a hug, gently caressing the back of his head. He took in a shaky breath, evidently trying to keep himself from crying. "Hey- hey- little черепаха, you are okay..."

Attention Jupiters-

I stood up, taking his hand. Together, I led him to the cockpit.

No time for pre-flight checklists- I could already see the other Jupiters departing. "Adam, tonight we fly." I sat him down in the co-pilot's seat, tucking his bear underneath his arm. 

All of a sudden, the Jupiter lurched forward. The sound of creaking metal screeched through the air, and Adam let out a yelp. The force of it sent me sprawling back. I slammed into the main console, the wind knocked from my lungs and my head ringing.

Attention Jupiters-

"Yes, yes, I hear you," I muttered bitterly, hauling myself to my feet. "Adam, buckle in!"

I jumped into the pilot's seat, hands flying over the console. Another screech jerked us forwards and my forehead slammed against the console. My head exploded in pain...

Adam screamed-

I blearily cracked my eyes open-

A bright, sprawling vortex of light was hanging right in front of us.

So that's why the Jupiter was falling- I thought giddily, Adam's cries blurring into the background-

Beautiful spirals of light...purples and greens and blues...Boris would want to see this.

I grinned to myself...feeling my eyes drift shut...

Chapter Text

1400 ET
LAURIEL, ALEXIS J, PASSENGER - 24TH COLONIST GROUP
LOCATION: UNKNOWN

Adam hadn't had it easy growing up. My dad talked to Jamie a couple of times, and according to him, Adam had been adopted at 4 months old. I'd always had my suspicions, what with Adam's dark whorl of hair and Jamie's blond bombshell. His real mother had abandoned him sometime after the first or so Resolute trip, no doubt wanting to unburden her load.

Jamie is was a great mother. A fantastic mother. I knew it couldn't be easy to take care of a kid in the middle of outer space, much less alone. Jamie was 18 when she first adopted Adam. She dropped out of her private university, worked two jobs as a waitress and a typist, anything she could to ensure him the best life.

Like give him to me.

A soft beeping noise echoed from the darkened cockpit.

My head throbbed.

I regretted all those hard feelings towards Adam and his mom. I won't even bother excusing it - because really, truly, there is no excuse. I wish I'd even bothered to say something to Jamie earlier - anything. Anything to take the guilt off my chest.

I shifted in my seat slightly.

Blood dripped down my cheek - the bandages had soaked through. 

Adam let out a whimper.

I wish I was still in the Ukrainian countryside. Back at home. I wish I could see my grandparents again. I wish I could talk to Boris. I wish I could apologize to Jamie. I wish I could-

I took in a shuddering breath.

I wish I could see my parents. Timothy and Ivanna. They were up there somewhere - I knew it.

Because if they weren't...

The morphine drip was still in the cabinet. Soon, soon, I told myself, all these thoughts would go away. All the pain...all the panic...all the worry...and then we can focus on getting out of here. "We will leave soon, Adam," I whispered as reassuringly as I could, pushing his dark brown hair back from his forehead. The blood from his forehead had congealed into this sticky mess that I was focusing wiping off. Adam whimpered again, cringing away from my touch.

Even though they weren't related, I could see Jamie in Adam. The way he walked, the way he took in the world, all of it mirrored Jamie. It was strangely, harrowingly beautiful. This was Jamie's imprint on the world - this is what'd made her life worth something.

Adam's cut wasn't too bad - it just looked like he'd been hit by some sort of shrapnel. I tried not to think about what shrapnel it was  or where it came from - but then again, it was getting harder to think. On impact, I definitely done something to my back. I guess I hadn't had time to strap in or something, because the pain was what had woken me up from my unconsciousness initially. It'd been hard to even walk to the med bay, much less carry Adam.

I uncapped the antiseptic and let it soak into a small rag. Adam hadn't been too badly hurt, thank God, but he'd been unconscious when I found him. His teddy bear I'd found tucked underneath the navigation console. The wall behind it had been busted through, sending jagged shards of metal straight through the fluff, much to Adam's dismay. A small tear hung under his eye even now. But I'd promised him, swore to him, that I'd do anything in my power to fix it. After, of course, I got the ship working again.

You may be wondering how I plan to do that. I don't know. 

Even though I am technically one of the youngest pilots on the Resolute, (that's not bragging. It's fact) that in no way makes me qualified. Hell, I don't even have my license. But I've watched my dad fly, so, obviously, I can figure it out. (By youngest pilot on the Resolute, I mean as of 8 hours ago. When I crashed the ship. I think I may have a concussion.)

"Adam? You want the train? Orrrr...Mr. Duck?" I held up the two boxes of Band-Aids, one printed with Thomas The Train and the other with a smiling Daffy Duck. He sniffed, pointing at the Thomas box. A grin graced my lips. I shook the box slightly, motioning for him to choose which bandage he wanted. 

But I hid a creased brow and bit lip behind that smile. I still needed to check on the status of the ship's integrity, the navigation equipment, the dual engines, the hull, the oxygen supplies, I supposed if worst came to worst I could lose the stabilizing systems...from what I could tell on the inside there seemed to be major damage along the right side of the ship...that might've damaged the right engine and possibly the fuel lines...shit - the bulk of Life Support was located on the right side, but I supposed the smaller backup would just have to do for now...

I gently smoothed the Thomas Band-Aid to his forehead.

My head throbbed again, earning a small gasp from me. Goddamn concussion.

Focus, Alexis. 

Just as I was closing the lid to the box, the Jupiter suddenly jerked forward with an ear-piercing screech. The Band-Aids scattered across the floor as the med bay swiveled to the side. Adam let out a yelp and latched onto my head, bringing me down to the floor with him. I felt his cold palms pressing into my eyelids - the world went black. With a crash, we skidded across the smooth metal floor amidst the fallen beakers and bottles while Adam flailed about. With his hands covering my eyes, I couldn't see where we were going-

Until the cold open air hit me like a truck.

Adam screamed and let go of my head, sliding further away.

I screamed as well, a shrill, bloodcurdling scream. We'd slid out of the med bay into what looked like the bunk corridors, expect for one minor detail. There was a giant hole in the wall, exactly where my mother's bedroom would've been. The red emergency lights flashed menacingly...

I hooked my ankle under Adam's armpit and pulled him closer with all my strength, however feeble it may be. The floor jerked again and my back crashed into a doorframe.

"ебать!!!" My back cracked with a sharp spike of pain, warmth exploding from a spot right underneath my shoulder blades. Adam's nails dug into my ankles.

My hands scrabbled for purchase, grabbing for anything, anything, anything.

With an ear-shattering boom, the floor twisted again. I was sliding again - out of the corner my eye, I could see the bluish-green smear that was the ground spin closer-

My fingers finally latched onto the doorframe, holding fast. My back popped out again with the weight of Adam, and I pressed my face into the cold metal floor, suppressing a scream. 

I was lying flat out on my stomach, Adam at my ankles.

We hung for a moment...

Swaying...

My fingers were raw and stinging, and holding the weight of two against a doorframe wasn't helping-

Two moments...

Adam shifted slightly. I couldn't hear whether he was crying or not, not over the sounds of my own sobs.

Three moments...

My back felt like the ground beneath a railroad track - spiked through to oblivion and crumbling to dust...

The seconds ticked by like hours...the pain was making it unbearable...

I was literally being stretched apart, feeling the gravity from the ground 2,000 feet below slowly winning...

I took in a breath, a shaky, ragged breath. "Adam...Adam, can you-" My stomach lurched. "Climb u-up...?" I faltered, trying to swallow the sour bile rising in my throat. 

The Jupiter hadn't moved in over a minute, I think. Surely it was stable? I didn't know, it was getting harder to think through the pain, and, y'know, the fact that we were literally dangling by my skinned fingers 2,000 feet in the air... Besides, if we fell, how bad would death really be? No more back pain...

I mentally prepared myself as Adam started to pull himself up my leg.

Oh SHIT. I couldn't help but let out a tortured yell into the floor. A spasm shook through my entire body, and I clamped my fingers even harder around the doorframe. Why oh why did I sign up for this?! Tears streamed down my face and I gritted my teeth so hard I swear I heard a tooth crack. Where the hell was this in the literal 6 months of training?!!

My mind was like a warzone.

Let go. Let the hell go.

But Adam-

Just shake him off.

He was almost there...it'd be over soon enough...

The edges of my eyes were getting darker - my breath coming faster and shorter...Adam's weight was nearly at my hips. I muffled another scream.

Adam...was...almost there...

Almost there...

Almost there - it's almost over - I swear!

He was at my back-

*        *        *        *

As soon as the world dissolved into black, I forced it to light again.

Come on, you bitch!

Wake the hell up!

I took a deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath. It's good. You're good. You're good. Stay up. Stay up.

His fingers were at my shoulder blades-

Tears, sweat, deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

I kicked my foot against the floor as a spasm shot through me again. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You're good.

Okay. I won't lie. I was pretty much full-on sobbing at this point. Like sobbing sobbing. Like snot running down my throat sobbing. Like one of those cries where you feel really good afterward, except I didn't feel really good. Pain ran up and down my spine like a burning knife, raking through my skin, muscles, setting every nerve aflame. No amount of pain management training could have prepared me for this.

Afterward, Judy would say it was a miracle I'm still alive.

Adam's fingers finally wove through my hair, and I almost screamed in relief. My back throbbed, pulsed with a thousand pokers. But it was over.

Over.

Over.

I let myself hang for a moment. I barely had the breath to speak. "Admmmm- inths tha doormt..."

Adam, in that door. My voice cracked and was barely above a whisper. But he seemed to understand.

Thank freaking Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

*        *        *        *

It was a long time before I could find the strength to haul myself up. I think Adam had to. Jesus, I love that kid.

I fashioned a makeshift back brace out of the jacket of my flight suit - wrapped so tightly around my torso it looked (and felt) like an 1860's corset. It was all I could do to stand up, and just forget bending over. But hey, at least I wasn't curled on the ball crying like a child.

We stayed huddled in the bedroom who's doorframe had literally saved our lives. It was my bedroom, still holding the sparse collection of trinkets and figures. Except this time, they weren't stacked in neat lines on the shelves. Shards and pieces lay strewn around the room, the more fragile ones reduced to dust that coated the bed.

It wasn't the one we stayed in at the Resolute. My parents had a room inside the Resolute that they liked to stay in, as it'd been way less cramped than the Jupiter. My dad didn't have the best leg muscles - he needed constant space to move around. It was closer to the control rooms, too, in case of emergencies. I glanced around, observing the cracked Empire State model...the strewn leaves of the faux Christmas cactus...the postcards from Ukraine...

The red emergency lights stayed on, though they'd stopped flashing. I think that meant we were stable....?

From what I'd been able to tell via the missing right wall, we were wedged at the very edge of some giant canyon. The canyon rolled off underneath the engine room, but the nose of the Jupiter was pointed straight into a dark cavernous oblivion. We were at an angle, so I guess the Jupiter must've been tilted to starboard when we crashed which had allowed for some access into the canyon (for reference, it looked as if the canyon was about 80 meters across. The Jupiter is maybe 100.) but the auto-correction systems must've gotten us stuck. The entire starboard side had been ripped open, including my room, from the initial tilt.

The bulk of Life Support was located on the starboard side, as I so cleverly observed earlier. So was the navigation equipment in the cockpit, the temperature regulator, as well as the right engine, obviously. I knew that the engine was protected by thicker hulls, but I still had reason for concern.

As to how we were to get out of here...

Remember when I said I'd fix the ship? Yeah. Don't know what I was thinking. Bullshit.

Luckily, we had a small radio. Unluckily, it was broken. No distress calls for me.

The temperature regulator was definitely busted, I dully noted. Cold air washed through the room in waves.

I wondered how much time we had before the Jupiter succumbed to gravity. Silence had followed us for one...two hours now, but no good things last forever. I learned that the hard way.

I leaned my head back against the wall and gently caressed Adam's dark hair. Fortunately, he was asleep. However, sitting here awake was getting pretty uncomfortable, if you couldn't tell. Given that the Jupiter was tilted at about 50°, it might as well be the seat of a freaking roller coaster. Everything in the Jupiter that wasn't bolted down was either pressed against the wall or 2,000 feet below. My stuff was scattered on the wall all around me.

I don't know how I was still awake. My back ached like a freaking train, but I didn't dare risk it to the med bay. There was an emergency medical kit tucked in the frame of my bed, but there was no way I was risking that climb. Not for a while, anyways. I didn't think I had a while.

The radio crackled. My ears perked up, suddenly alert and at the ready. 

"Mayday, mayday."

I scooted over to the radio and held it up to my ear. I held my breath...

Mayday, mayday. This is Penny Robinson, Jupiter 2."

My jaw dropped. The Robinsons??

"Do you read?"

I threw the radio across the room.

Chapter Text

1500 ET
LAURIEL, ALEXIS J, PASSENGER - 24TH COLONIST GROUP
LOCATION: UNKNOWN

I forgot all about the Robinsons. Goddammit.

Ugh - oh my god. I really, really don't want to do this.

Our radio clearly can receive calls, but for some odd reason can't broadcast them. Funny how little twists of fate never seem to work out in my favor.

I leaned my head against the rough wall and watched dust float through the wind-chilled air. What other way were we going to get out of here... Broken radio, broken ship, broken, broken, broken! There was no one who knew we were here, no one who knew that our ship would probably crash in an hour, no one else who was here except the Robinsons. Our only hope. 

An idea had been bugging in my mind ever since I woke up in this room. An idea that I really didn't want to test out. I glanced down at Adam. He looked so peaceful...

Alas.

"приятель...wake up..." I gently nudged his head. He whimpered and sleepily tried to hide his face in my lap.

The ship lurched suddenly. A piercing screech shot through the air...the sound of metal grating away against rock. I clutched Adam tight and gritted my teeth. We didn't have much time.

"приятель-"

But the quake had woken him up. Adam stared up at me with eyes full of fear, like a little fawn lost in the forest. Bambi. I took a deep breath in, careful to hide my nerves.

"Adam, you see bed? Over there?" I whispered. My arms felt like lead, but I managed to motion towards the bed across- well, above us. He nodded.

"I need you to grab blanket. From bed. Do you think you can do that for me, приятель?" I ran a hand over his hair, trying to soothe him.

He looked at the bed, then looked at me. All the way up there? Are you shitting me, Alexis? I'm freaking four years old. You think I can do that?

Well, you better Adam, because if you don't, then we'll all fall to our very painful, and very rocky deaths in about an hour. You want that? Huh?

I'm just kidding.

I could see his concern, though. The climb to the bed was about 30 degrees at an incline - not to mention the sleek tile wasn't exactly the best climbing surface. The bed itself was strewn with shards of glass and twisted metal, perfect for slicing.

God knew I couldn't make it myself. I really wish I could. What, you think I want to make a four year old do that? But we needed to get moving, and I don't think an unconscious teenager and an exhausted toddler was exactly...helpful. I couldn't risk any more injury to my back. Not if I wanted my plan to work.

"Please, Adam? Really really quick. I just need the blanket. I believe in you."

Shut the fuck up, Alexis.

I ran a hand over his hair again. He looked back at the bed, and back at me. His brown eyes seemed to sparkle. An unlikely sparkle of...knowing. Maturity. Formulating an idea in his mind. Nodded once.

"Bravest boy I know," I whispered. I pointed at the closest edge of the comfortor. "Listen, okay? Here's plan. You grab that corner and pull, just a little bit, you copy?" Adam nodded. "As soon as it comes free, you roll under like little rolly-polly and slide back down? You copy?" That way, he shouldn't be strewn with those shards of glass. Worst case scenario, they'd come tumbling down towards me.

He rolled towards me, mimicking the rolling movement.

"Yes, yes, just like that! Little rolly-polly." I smiled at him as another vibration hummed through the ship. "But hurry."

Adam began to climb. I helped him up the first bit, supporting him as he slowly rose higher. He reached out towards the edge of the blanket, fingers reaching...further...snagged the corner...

Another lurch of the ship sent him sliding down the floor, blanket in tow like a flag of honor. Not enough time to roll.

Glass and metal rained down as I threw myself to the side. Adam hit the wall with a thump, the blanket rippling over him like a parachute.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

My back throbbed as I dug through the pile for Adam. He surfaced with a wide smile on his face, thankfully not a scratch in sight. 

"Adam, you did it!" I matched his smile, throwing my arms around him. He held up the blanket, smile deepening. "Yes yes yes! You got it Adam! Such a good job!!!"

"N-now what?"

My smile faltered a bit. He'd spoken. His voice was choked with exhaustion and probably thirst, but he'd talked. A tear pricked at my eye.

"Well now, little rolly-polly," I brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead. "Now we fly."

*        *        *        *

The fabric of the blanket was slate gray canvas, thin yet insulating, flexible yet durable. Waterproof. Fireproofed - just in case worst came to worst. 

Oh god. I don't want to do this.

Strands of leftover Christmas lights in spaghetti piles around the room. A knife from the utility belt around my waist. The tether loops attached to our suits. A roll of industrial duct tape. The blanket. A couple of extra toddler hands.

I had no idea what the air was going to be like out there. Clearly, (judging from the giant hole in the side of my ship) it was breathable. But I had no way to measure the air pressure other than my handy dandy eardrums. I didn't know how dense the air got closer to the surface, what other, denser, gases might be intermingling down there. Heck, I didn't even know where we were going to land. What would be waiting for us when we landed. 

'When we landed'. More like 'if we land'. More like 'when we crash'.

The Robinsons hadn't set out another signal. Probably thought there was no one else out there. Probably fixed up their ship and were headed towards Alpha Centauri right this second. I sound pretty bitter, don't I? Trust me, I'm not angry without good reason-

Adam handed me the last length of Christmas lights. We'd been at it for nearly an hour, and the tremors were getting worse. Our angle had deepened, meaning we had little time before the entire ship gave way and spiraled into the canyon. I looped the strand of lights through a hole in blanket's corner, and tied it shut.

I removed my flight jacket. It hurt like a bitch - but then again, everything hurts like a bitch these days. I hoped the after effects of the morphine would do their thing just a little bit longer... I gently pulled the torso of the jacket over Adam's head, then tightly tied the arms around my chest. There. A straitjacket harness.

Just to be safe, I linked our tether loops together. If you die, Adam, I'm coming with you.

Now. 

The final step.

The Christmas lights were all in place. All attached to our suits. All attached to the blanket. The blanket ready to fly.

If you're slow, just relax and take this time to listen to a little anecdote from my childhood. You know when you were young and tried to parachute off the stairs with a blanket or a pillowcase? Ha. That was me. Always trying to achieve flight, like humanity hadn't done it over a hundred years before.

That's what I'm doing now, just, massive.

A homemade, DIY parachute, made from a blanket and some Christmas lights!! Reinforced with duct tape.

Adam gently patted my hand. "When are we going to fly?"

I swore I was going to puke. "R-right now..." I hefted the blanket up. "A-are you...ready...?"

The makeshift parachute wasn't meant to set us down lightly. Time was running out faster than your dad left for the milk and it wouldn't be long before the Jupiter was nothing more than a pile of rubble at the bottom of an alien canyon. The parachute was meant for escape. 

We'd heft ourselves back out into the hallway, careful though, because the second we let go we'd be hurtling towards the ground. Hopefully the parachute would get its shit together and end up behind us. Then, we'd, well, 'fly'. Or crash. Or get stuck on the Jupiter's broken engine like a bug. Or immediately die. I don't know. It's now or never, universe.

I could steer the parachute by tugging on various Christmas lights. Really though, it was up to the wind speeds. Hopefully, the next 2,000 feet of my life wouldn't end with a smoky outline of me on some mountain.

I prayed. I prayed so hard it's not even funny. Never, never have I really thought about what it'd be like to die, but now I was less than 3 minutes away from it. I'm not even that religious, but I prayed harder than I've ever prayed before. Because I swore to Jamie that I would protect her son. I know I've been all sarcastic and everything this whole time, but I cannot let this mission fail. It has to work. It has to.

I don't know what I would do if it didn't.

The Jupiter creaked, this time louder than ever. Dust fell from the ceiling as a massive tremor shook the room. Adam pressed his head against my chest.

"Okay Adam. We have to go. Right now. Right now." I took a shaky breath.

I looked around at my Jupiter. My home. I'd never see it again. A tear pricked at my eye.

I'm coming, Boris.

I made sure the blanket was positioned behind us. Reached for the doorframe. Looked back. Grabbed a torn postcard that had gotten stuck to it.

And hefted us over.

*        *        *        *

Imagine the worst roller coaster you've ever been on. One that jerks you left and right, presses so hard against your chest the air is squeezed out of you. Your neck cracks. Someone's screaming in the background. Your back screams in pain from the whiplash.

At least a roller coaster is fun.

I held onto Adam with a death grip, curling myself around him. The howl of the wind was deafening, a shrill, piercing scream that I couldn't tell if it was my own. I couldn't breathe, the cords around my chest had pulled too tight-

Adam was pressed against me so hard, keeping me together. If he didn't, I'd probably break apart in this mess.

The world outside was every shade of blue and green. Blue, green, blue, green, blue- We were spiraling, out of control. I should've known that my plan would fail. Adam was going to die, I was going to die, and I'd never get to see my parents or Boris again.

My shaking lungs had been thrust in a whirlpool of air. All this wind whipping around me and yet I still couldn't seem to breathe...I was gasping, hacking, crying...

Back, forth, back, forth. My legs were up, then down, then behind me, then over me. Whiplash was stabbing through my back, yanking the screams from inside me. My hair snapped against my skin like tiny knives. The throbbing in my head was turning into burning, turning into pressure. My stomach was churning back and forth and back and forth and I was beginning to feel so weak, so sick-

Maybe at that moment I didn't care if we died. Maybe I didn't care if I didn't see my family again. Maybe I just wanted the pain in my back and in my head and in my mind to end. 

Maybe I relaxed, letting the pain overwhelm me-

WHOOSH.

I flew forward, the cords literally cutting through my suit. I could feel the warmth of blood dribbling down my chest. The last remnants of air were thrust from my chest. I blacked out for a second.

But. We were going...up...

I was coughing, retching, vomiting towards the ground below...

My feet were dangling...

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my- holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

I could breathe.

My vomit was going down.

My feet hung underneath me.

I yelled out loud, excitement and adrenaline bursting out of me like a waterfall. I whirled around to look up.

Holy shit!!!

The parachute was above us!!!

We were going down!!!

"Oh my god OH MY GOD!! Oh my GOD!" 

Tears flew down my face. We weren't exactly at a safe speed, a little part of my mind reminded me, but OH MY GOD we might actually live! I clutched Adam tight and sobbed into his hair.

I prayed, and it was answered!!! It worked!! It worked!! It worked!! We were going to live!! 

I wasn't paying attention though.

We hit the ground.

And all went black.

Chapter Text

OPISHNYA, UKRAINE

2042

"Alexis! ALEXIS! Bring those damn hens in!"

Boris giggled from his place on the chickencoop's roof. He held a particularly plump hen high above his head, erupting in bouts of laughter as it squawked and squeaked in panic.

"Boris!" I hissed. "Put Checkie down!" I threw my Schwinn to the gravel and raced down the hill. "Now!" I spat. Oh Lord - Mom was gonna kill me if that wretched hen so much as suffered a bent feather- "Boris!" 

He teetered on the sloped roof for a moment before regaining his balance with a squeal. Checkie jerked and flapped her wings, terror-stricken. 

Water splashed onto my bare shins as I plodded through the dew-ridden grass. Shit- shit- shit- the other hens had wandered out of the little coop as well, probably intrigued by the racket that Boris the Brat was making right now. I was surprised it hadn't woken up Dad yet, but he slept like a dead man with a hangover. Passed out cold.

Boris finally noticed me coming. Headed straight towards him with bloody murder in my eyes. A split-second of recognition flashed in his green eyes, and he promptly dropped to the ground and began sprinting in the opposite direction. I lunged.

"Boris, you son of a-"

"No!"

"How many times have I told you-"

"Leave me alone! Let go of me-"

"Don't touch my hens you-"

"Mom! Mom!"

"Get back here you little-"

"Ow! Stop it!"

"ALEXIS!"

We both froze, covered in dew and wet blades of grass. The heel of his bony hand dug into my eye socket, and my fist clenched tightly around his ankle. Mom stood like a bull in the front doorway, arms crossed and hair tied back. Her gingham apron was crookedly tied around her waist, and a stained wooden ladle she clutched like a dangerous weapon. I could hear her exasperated sigh from across the yard. "Get off your brother!"

We both snapped away from each other like we'd been burned. 

"And for God's sake, Alexis. Get those damn hens in. The. Coop."

I slowly rose to my feet, a strand of hair still plastered to my forehead. A hen - Bessie - waddled past, clucking lazily to herself. I slung her under my arm and turned towards the chicken coop, slightly ashamed.

"And when you're done," she called to my retreating back. I cringed, preparing myself for the inevitable list of chores...

"Breakfast is ready."

My stomach jumped. I didn't let the excitement show in my posture, but I shot a tiny grin at Bessie.

Breakfast? That was new. Ever since Mom's new job, she'd rarely ever been home for meals, much less breakfast. I'd been hoping ever since summer began she'd have more time off, but my dreams had been swiftly crushed back in early June, when her boss had announced some new project.

I carefully guided Bessie to her nest, then reached for white-feathered Matilda, who was beginning to bob her way towards the house.

I hadn't been able to find out much online, and Mom's stubborn silence was unrelenting. I knew that she she mostly worked with a team of local scientists, since her corporation was an international one. But other times she'd be gone for weeks, months, off in America, or Germany, or China doing God-knows what. Chemicals, formulas, paperwork, blah, blah, blah. Dad worked from home, thankfully, but Mom's constant absence seemed to take a toll on him as much as it did the rest of us. Grandma and Grandpa usually ended up making us breakfast.

Checkie was still poking around on the roof. I rolled my eyes, calculating how much a Boris-proof electric fence would cost me. 

But Mom finally had a week off. Which was unusual, but not like it wasn't needed. I was brimming with excitement as I gently set Checkie down in her nest. Oh, how I wanted to leave her feathered ass behind and burst into the kitchen - where the smells of fresh brewed coffee and the savory taste of varenyky would enamor my senses like a kiss on the cheek... But unfortunately, I couldn't risk another jailbreak. I triple-checked that the coop door was shut before I excitedly made my way up the hill.

Grandma greeted me at the door, a mug of steaming tea in one hand and a one-armed hug in the other. "And how's my darling Lexis doing?" she crooned.

"Good, Grandma." 

Her deep-set smile lines gave her face a pinky amicable glow. "Good, sweetie. Now why don't you go get yourself some of those dumplings, hmm?"

"Alright, Grandma," I laughed.

Mom already had my plate prepared. Piled high with so many fillings of varenyky - cherry, cheese, potatoes - I hadn't had a meal like this in months. Mom didn't approve of my drinking coffee, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Dad nudge the pot closer towards me. I reached for a mug and filled it up to the brim, and I swear I saw Mom roll her eyes. 

"Now, Veronika," Grandpa started from his rocking chair, using his special lecture voice. He was a professor, after all.

"I didn't do anything, Dad. She can have the coffee."

Dad chuckled from behind his newspaper.

Mom passed a plate to Boris, frowning. "I found your inhaler under the couch last night, Boris."

Boris froze, his fingers hovering over a fork. Probably expecting some sort of scolding about responsibility and ownership...

Mom huffed and patted the lump in her pocket. "Please keep better track of your things. I would prefer my son to be able breathe."

He relaxed and broke into a smile. "Sure thing, Mom," he chirped, and began shoveling food into his mouth.

It really was nice to have everyone together for a meal again. Even Mom seemed to lighten up as another round of coffee was passed around. Dad finally looked up from his newspaper. Grandma and Grandpa were soon roaring with laughter at every obscure joke Boris told. Mom must've thought the Queen of England was coming, because the food never seemed to lighten up. We ate, joked, ate, and ate some more. The sunshine shone in golden rays through the window, and the smell of lilacs wafted in even through closed doors. Stories flew by - of work, of some long-lost childhood, of school, of strangers at the grocery, of ducks in the stream. Mom never revealed her big project, though.

I was feeling giddy on caffeine. Boris was practically buzzing in his seat. We were just in the midst of a tale from Grandpa's childhood as the phone rang.

We all fell silent, Grandpa mid-sentence. Dad, who was the closest, answered.

"Hello?

Yes.

This is her husband."

All eyes swiveled to Mom. Dad put a hand over the microphone. "It's for you, honey."

And just like that, the eyebags returned. Mom stood from her seat, her chair scraping loudly against the tile. 

"Yes?

Just one moment please." She stepped outside, and was gone.

We washed the dishes in silence. Cleared the table. Swept the floors. 

Boris and I wandered around town for a bit. Window-shopped.

Mom was gone when we returned.

And the next day. And the next. 

The summer passed in a blur after that. Hot, sticky days, and cool, dewy nights. I watched the stars a couple of times. Watched the moon slowly fill out, then shrivel into nothingness. Night after night,

Mom was only home for a few days at a time, and Dad always holed up on his computer. Grandma and Grandpa tried their best to fill in, but it wasn't the same. The worst part was that this whole "work-thing" had only happened recently. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if Mom had had to work so much when I was a kid. Maybe I'd be used to it. Maybe not. Maybe I'd be the same.  

Autumn soon rolled around, and I got ready to enter 6th grade. Leaves fell and the ducks soon abandoned us. Books, pencils, uniforms, kids, teachers, rules, regulations, all whipping around me like children fighting for attention. Ugh. At least Mom managed to be there long enough to wave goodbye as we boarded the bus. 

Wind came in heavy gusts. Then the rain, battering against our windows.. Then the snow, sleet and hail. Winter had hit, bringing with it that sleepy holiday feeling. And so did the meteor.

I remember it so clearly. So, so, clearly.

It was Christmas Eve.

I awoke to the phone ringing. Sharp, loud, and clear - like a siren summoning our mother with its haunting tritone beep. I rolled over with a groan and went back to sleep. She'd probably be gone in the morning. I barely registered the hole in my gut when I remembered tomorrow was Christmas morning. Whatever. My eyelids felt heavy.

Then Dad was up. And then Grandma. Then Grandpa came racing into my room like a maniac. I shot up, the yellow light from the hallway scorching my sleep-ridden eyes.

"Whaddisit??"

I heard the front door slam, and the car engine roar to life. "Wherz mom?"

"Downstairs, quick!" 

I obeyed without hesitation, wrapping my blanket around me as I followed Grandpa and a blinking Boris down the stairs. 

Dad and Grandma were already standing in the living room, staring at the TV as it blared noises and colors that I couldn't make out. Grandma seemed to be shaking. Dad was silent. 

"What does this mean for our atmosphere? Our climate? Fortunately, we've managed to get in touch with one of the top atmospheric specialists..."

I slowly rounded the corner, and the screen came into view. It took me a minute to understand the foreign language blasting in my ears. An American news anchor, with pretty brown curls, but surrounded with images of...what? I could see an explosion in some, diagrams and charts, and text scrolling across the screen faster than I could process. The living room was dark, save for the bright screen, and silent save for the news anchor blaring from the speaker.

"Thank you, Laurie."

Boris stiffened. That was Mom's voice - speaking calm, perfect English amidst the jumbled chaos on screen. Over a phone call, no less.

"Tonight was certainly unprecedented. Further analysis of the foreign object will need to be done, but I can safely say that we as a species have faced worst..."

The Christmas tree blinked merrily in the corner. Red, blue, yellow, pink...

"From what we've discovered so far, the object seems to be composed of..."

I couldn't move. Despite Mom's assuring words, the images onscreen kept my feet rooted to the ground. Meteors, fires, impacts, explosions, boom.

Boom.

"Thank you, Mrs. Lauriel. This just in: a report from Scott Barlowe, head of Planetary Defense at NASA..."

"It'll be okay," Grandma whispered, though her voice sounded shaky and thick with worry. "You heard Veronika, we'll be okay..."

But was it? Two years later she was gone, past the edge of the solar system and well on her way to Alpha Centauri with Grandpa and Boris. Of course she would be okay.

Of course she would be okay.