Archive of Our Own

Meeting

Roger ‘Race’ Bannon had been assigned to be Jonny Quest’s, son of famed scientist Dr. Benton Quest, bodyguard and tutor. With Jonny’s mother dead, the American government wanted to take no chances on Jonny’s life as well. Race had worked as an agent of Intelligence One or I-1 as most people called it.

At first, Race wasn’t sure what to expect from the Quest family. Sure, he had heard of Dr. Quest, because, really, who hadn’t? But he really didn’t know much about Dr. Quest, let alone know anything about his son, and now he was his charge for as long as Dr. Quest would need him.

They all met on a Sunday afternoon, before lunch. Jonny was a great kid, coping better than Race had expected. He was a cheerful young boy, adventurous and curious albeit a little sad and lonely. But Race would change all that. Dr. Quest, on the other hand, was precisely as Race had expected: calm, intelligent, precise, organized and practical. Their lunch had been cut short when Dr. Quest had been called back to the lab to check on his tests and projects he had been working on.

“Is he always working?” he had asked Jonny. Jonny had picked at his food before responding. “Dad’s always been like that, for as long as I remember. Except now...he’s been working a lot more than he used to before...well, just before.” Jonny said nothing more about the subject and Race didn’t press him.

“Hey, Jonny, you want to learn a new trick?” Race had asked him. Jonny perked up. “What kind of trick?” Jonny had asked him.

“You’ll see, kiddo.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent on the shore, playing and training.

In addition to being Jonny’s bodyguard and tutor, Race was also put in charge of maintaining the security system of the island. (The Quest compound was located in Palm Keys) Race kept an eye on everything going on in the island including who entered and exited. He ran background checks on staff. He also kept an eye on both his employer and charge. Jonny adjusted quickly to his teaching techniques and had taken a liking to him. Race found himself equally fond of Jonny. Dr. Quest, however, remained distant. He hardly spent any time with Jonny on account of working on a big project. A week had passed since Race’s arrival and he decided that he needed to have a good talking to with the good scientist.

Race found Dr. Quest in his lab, working diligently, almost obsessively. He was tinkering with some contraption. Race knocked on the door to announce his arrival.

“Dr. Quest, a word please.”

Dr. Quest stopped his tinkering and removed the goggles from his face. “Yes, Race?”

“I wanted to speak to you about Jonny, sir.”

“What about him?”

“I’m worried about him, sir.”

Dr. Quest frowned. “What’s wrong with Jonny?”

“He’s lost his parents. One died and the other spends all his time working on gadgets and chemical compounds.”

Dr. Quest looked like he wanted to protest at first, but sighed instead. His shoulders slumped and the calm composed expression he had on his face transformed into one of grief. “Has something so terrible happened to you that you feel like nothing could ever be the same again? Experienced pain so deep and sharp that it hurts to breathe and live? It’s difficult, Race. She was the love of my life, the mother of my child. For once in my life I don’t know what to do, how to cope. And I know I haven’t been there for Jonny. He’s in pain and I don’t know what to do to help him; I don’t know what to say. Words have never been my strong point.” Race placed a hand on the scientist’s shoulder and helped him to a chair.

“No one said you had to do it alone, sir. I’m here. I’ll help you both. I’ll help you cope. I’ve lost my share of friends and while it doesn’t get easier with time, it gets better. And I’ll help you with Jonny, too. You have help, Benton, all you have to do is accept it.” Dr. Quest smiled at him. “Intelligence One has lost a good man.”

“That they have, sir.”

“There’s no need for formalities, Race. Call me Benton.”

“Benton it is.”

And that was the day when Race and Dr. Quest’s relationship changed from employer and employee to simply friends.

Love  

Race didn’t lie. With his help Benton was able to reach out to Jonny, repair their relationship, making it stronger than ever. Benton came out from hiding behind his work. He managed to finish Project Rachel but found himself unable to test it. He didn’t tell Race about Project Rachel because he knew that Race would disapprove. Working on the project, however, had helped him cope with the loss of his wife. With its completion, Benton was able to move forward with his life with new experiments and projects.

It took a while for Benton to notice his feelings towards Race. Not that it was his fault, Benton had never been good at figuring out his own emotions. He had first noticed when he watched Race and Jonny working together. He would work at a table, either reading some journal articles or working on a new gadget, and look up from his work occasionally to look over to where Jonny and Race were working. They would work on homework or play some game on the beach. Benton couldn’t help but notice how good they worked together. Race was so patient with Jonny, never losing his temper and always had a cheery disposition. One day Benton had caught himself thinking about how tall Race was, how light his hair was, how tan his skin was, how fit he was, how handsome he was. The last thought had startled Benton. He forced it out of his head immediately and distracted himself with his work.

For the next few weeks Benton would catch himself wandering into Race’s room, asking him questions about the compound’s security and Jonny’s progress with his schoolwork; essentially questions he already knew the answers to, all for the sake of spending more time (even if it was just a few minutes) with Race. Sometimes, either at lunch or dinner, he would find himself asking Race a personal question, just one though. He seemed incapable of asking any more. The last thing he wanted to do was to be a burden to Race. Race never seemed to mind though. He found himself doing little things like that more and more frequently as the weeks passed.

It never occurred to Benton to act on his emotions. He had never been a man of action. He had to analyze this, dissect it until he understood completely, until it made sense to him. But it never did. He thought it over and over again but he always came back to the same conclusion. He was fond of Race.Benton also found Race to be a handsome man. Benton spent a lot of time trying to figure out some excuse to spent time with Race. Being in Race’s presence  made Benton nervous and jittery, made his palms sweat and caused butterflies to emerge in his stomach and settle there. He found that spending time with Race was enjoyable. Race made him laugh, made him happy. He wanted to kiss Race. He was in love with Race, undeniably, completely, profoundly in love with him.

After having come to the conclusion that he was in love with Race, Benton would always come back to the same thought. Race might not love him, at least not in the way that Benton would have liked. And it was always that thought that stopped Benton dead in his tracks. It was that very same thought why Benton never did anything beyond thinking about it. The feelings remained locked in his heart and he made no move to express it.

It was later that Benton also remembered that for a man to love another man was a very strange phenomena in that day and age, one that was frowned upon. It didn’t bother Benton very much though. He had long given up trying to figure out why he had fallen in love with Race. He didn’t see the point in trying to torture himself with how wrong his feelings were. He had long since accepted that he felt what he felt and there was little that he could do about it, no matter how wrong it was.

The only time that Benton was inspired into action was shortly after the incident that occurred in Hong Kong. He had been kidnapped by a scientist who had needed his help in creating more giant creatures. Race had recruited the help of Jezebel Jade, a friend of Race’s, to help find him. He had never felt more love for Race than at that moment. And then Race kissed Jade and he felt his heart crumble within his chest. It hurt more than he would have thought. Jonny had noticed how distraught Benton had been and had even asked him if he was alright. Benton had managed compose himself and lied to his son. It didn’t occur to Benton to act on his feelings again.

Jade 

Jezebel Jade was a wonderful woman. She was as clever and quick as they came. She was also conniving and manipulative, and Race wouldn’t have it any other way. It was part of her charm. Race and Jade had a long-standing on-and-off relationship ever since  they had first met. All of Race’s attempts to get her to settle down long enough for them to have a real substantial relationship failed. Jade was simply too wild, too independent, to be tied down by a relationship, but that didn’t stop Race from trying. And this time was no different.

“Jade, come with me,” he told her.

“I have too many things to do, Race, and too little time to do it with. And besides, you have a family. I could never belong.” she replied, avoiding his gaze.

“You could if you tried!” he pleaded desperately.

“You know that I can’t,” she said, and when she saw the distraught look on his face she added, “look for someone else to love you, Race, like you deserve to be loved. Love might be a lot closer than you might think.” Jade placed a quick peck on his cheek  and winked at him before disappearing into dark, leaving Race alone once more.

Race was puzzled by her words. It wasn’t like Jade to encourage him to seek someone else out. Jade always seemed to want him for herself, even if she wasn’t willing to change her lifestyle to be with him. The last thing she said had confused him even more. He had no idea what she could be talking about. Race shrugged it off and went to check on the boys.

Marriage

It came as a complete surprise to Benton to learn that Race had once been married.

“Married? Really, Race? I could never imagine you being married,” Jonny told him.

“Perhaps there are many sides to Race that are unknown to us, Jonny,” Hadji explained to him. Race chuckled. “I’m not as complicated or as mysterious as you make me out to be, Hadji.”

“What happened, Race? Tell us what happened,” Jonny demanded.

“Jonny, don’t pry. Maybe Race doesn’t want to talk about it with us,” Benton scolded his son.

Race merely smiled at them. “It’s alright, Ben. I don’t mind talking about it. It was a couple years ago, twelve to be exact, back when I was still working for I-1. One of my missions had led me to the Amazonian jungle. It was there that I met Estella. We hit it off right away. We worked together on my mission and fell in love. We decided to get married shortly afterwards. After being married for a week, we decided to go our separate ways. Our lifestyles were too different. She would always be in some archaeological site and I would always be out in the field, out on a mission. And so ended the first marriage of Race Bannon.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out, Race. That must have been hard on you,” Benton said.

“It’s alright, Ben. It was for the best,” Race replied.

“Hey, Race, is there anything else you’ve been holding out on us?” Jonny asked.

“Well, there is one thing. I have a daughter. Her name is Jessie,” Race informed them.

“A daughter!” Jonny explained. “Geez, Race, you’ve been holding out on us! Why haven’t you mentioned her before? What’s she like? Is she like you, Race?”

“Calm down, Jonny. One question at a time. You don’t want to overwhelm Race with too many questions,” Benton chided.

“Sorry, Race,” Jonny said, looking like Bandit whenever he didn’t get his way.

Race laughed. “It’s alright, Jonny. I’ll answer your questions. Just not all at once.”

Benton listened raptly to what Race told them. Jessie was twelve years old, a couple of months older than Jonny. She resembled her mother in both body and mind. She had wild red hair and bright blue eyes like the sky. She was every bit intelligent as her mother was. Race had even told them that he would visit her every so often. Jessie would mostly spend her time on archaeological digs, much like Jonny spent most of time travelling with his father.

The boys retired to bed once Race had finished telling them about Jessie. Jonny kept asking Race if he would ever bring her along to one of his father’s expedition to which Race replied that he would have to consult with Estella first.

Benton went to bed shortly after reading an article. He stared at the ceiling, thinking about all the things that Race had told them. Race had been married once. He had a daughter. Benton wondered if they- he would ever meet Race’s daughter. He wondered if she would like him, and he certainly hoped he would make a good impression on her. He wanted Race’s kid to like him. He then thought about the marriage itself. What did that say about Race? Did it mean that Race was incapable of being in a committed long-term relationship? What did it say about his prospects? What did it say about his relationship with Race? Race must have loved Estelle, at least enough to marry her. The fact that the marriage was dissolved rather quickly meant that maybe Race wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship. Then again, Race and he spent almost all their time together. If, and Benton hesitated to hypothesize, they were to be in a relationship, surely it would work out better than Race’s other relationships simply because they were together all the time. But then again, it wasn’t likely that something like that was going to happen. Race hadn’t told him about Estella or Jessie. If he had been close to Race, he would have known about Jessie and Estella. The more he thought about it, the more hopeless it seemed for him.

Benton sighed and turned on the lamp next to his bed. If he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, he might as well do something more productive with his time. Well, at least something more productive than thinking about his nonexistent romantic relationship with another man.

Benton reached for the book on his bedside table and began to read. [1]

New Mexico

Race didn’t know what was wrong with him. He should have been happy for Benton. He should have been happy that Benton was getting another chance to find love again. And yet, Race couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

Benton’s friend and former colleague, Alice Starseer, had called Benton out to New Mexico on account that she needed Benton’s help. She had sent him a package with some strange glass container. Race headed with Benton, along with Hadji to help her. They had ended up getting captured by men from a private sector wanting to use the alien technology. Jessie and Jonny had come down to New Mexico in the nick of time to save them.

The entire time they were held prisoner, Race couldn’t help but think about how much he disliked Alice. He really couldn’t figure out why though. Alice seemed nice enough even if she spent too much of her time oogling Benton and staring into his eyes longingly. Benton was also staring into Alice’s eyes as well but that didn’t bother Race much; it only bothered him when Alice was doing the looking. Benton had gone through a lot in his life; he didn’t to have his heart broken all over again.

Race’s feelings only subsided when the whole episode was over, and started up again when Alice’s grandfather appeared out of nowhere.

“Come with me, Benton. All of you, come with us. Think of what you’ll see: unknown worlds, unimaginable civilizations. This will be the greatest adventure of your lives. Come with us,” she pleaded. She looked to Benton hopefully. Benton hesitated. He glanced at Jonny and then back to Alice.

Race felt his stomach clench. He didn’t like the idea of Benton leaving them, and he knew that Benton was tempted. He could see in his eyes how conflicted he was, how much he cared for Alice. Race didn’t know what he would do without Benton, especially after all the time they had spent together. Life without him seemed almost unimaginable.

“I can’t do that, Alice,” Benton started, cupping her face with his hand.

“But-”

“No. Don’t ask again. A long time ago you spoke of destiny,” he told her as he enveloped her in an embrace.

“I remember,” she said, a tear sliding down her cheek. Benton and Alice broke apart from their embrace.

“Well, this is where we belong,” he told her, extending his hand. She took his hand in hers and shook it one final time. “I’ll never forget you, Benton,” she said as she left his side and stood beside her grandfather. Lights glimmered around them and then they disappeared from sight.

Race felt relieved. The uneasy feeling in his stomach disappeared. Although he still couldn’t explain why he didn’t like Alice. [2]

Date  

Jessica [3] was her name. They had met in a hotel lobby when Benton was on one of his conferences. They had bumped into each other. Benton had dropped all the papers, scattering them across the floor. Jessica had dropped her purse, spilling its contents all over the floor. Benton had reached down as did Jessica, and they made some small talk while gathering their belongings. She had asked him out on a date, which startled Benton. He couldn’t say ‘no’ and he found no reason why he shouldn’t say it anyway. He agreed. They had set a date and they went their separate ways. Looking back on the incident Benton didn’t know why he had agreed to go out on a date with a woman he barely knew. He had never been good at dating, even when he was young. This time was no different.

He felt as if the date had gone horribly. Whenever he talked about himself, he would ramble nonstop about the various projects he was working on or where he was headed, which didn’t sound too bad in and of itself but he had gone into specifics. Undoubtedly the poor woman was lost before he finished what he was saying. And when he wasn’t talking about his projects, he would talk about the boys, which the woman had found endearing.

Despite his rambles, she was charming. She would ask him all the right questions. All the while Benton would struggle with asking her questions about herself. He would ask the most ridiculous things, some of which made her laugh. She had a nice laugh Benton noted.

Well, he supposed that it wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be. He had made her laugh. Benton didn’t know he could still do that. Granted she was laughing at how nervous he had been. But still a laugh was a laugh.

Despite the relatively success of the evening, Benton wasn’t inclined to go out on a date again. Although he hadn’t talked about Race, he had been tempted to. Race kept popping up in his mind again, which was horrible. His short romance with Alice had convinced him that he was capable of loving someone again, of leaving his love for Race behind and moving on with his life. But it had emerged again unexpectedly during his date with Jessica. He kept thinking about what would Race say. What would Race do? What would Race order? Then his thoughts shifted to ‘what was Race doing?’ Was Race thinking about him? What was Race thinking about? And it was at that point that he realized that he was still thinking about Race, and most likely, still deeply in love with him. Even his somewhat moderately successful date wasn’t enough to keep his mind off him.

Benton took his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. He could hear the dial tone, and then a female voice.

“Hello.”

“Hello Jessica. Are you busy this week?”

Kiss

Race never imagined that there would be something exciting about the Yukon. After all, nobody lived in the Yukon and he wasn’t too eager to believe that woman’s story. Then again this was a trip with Benton, and trips with the Quest clan were rarely routine trips, and they were usually never boring. And boy, was he wrong on this one.

Benton had introduced him to Dr. Marie Meche [4], and boy, was he struck. Marie was stunning and beautiful, but also kind and intelligent. And that french accent of hers also helped. It wasn’t long between the two hit it off. Race was, after all, a handsome man.

They kissed for the first time under the light of the full moon. There was something odd about the kiss though. Well, nothing wrong with it really. But it felt strange to Race. He didn’t let it bother him at the time though. Marie was a beautiful woman and a wonderful kisser. He wasn’t going to let something like a silly little feeling stop him from being with her or kissing her again.

It wasn’t until the second time that Race had kissed Marie that he noticed the strange odd feeling again. He wasn’t able to pinpoint or explain what it was. It almost felt like something was missing. But Race didn’t dwell on that. It was, after all, just a kiss.

Thought

“Benton, a penny for your thoughts? Or perhaps you’d like a dime instead?”

Benton jumped, startled by the sudden interruption to his thoughts. “Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, Jessica. I didn’t mean to drift off like that. I was just thinking about-”

“Always thinking aren’t you, Benton?” Jessica interrupted, smiling at Benton mischievously. “Well, what were you thinking about then? Enlighten me. How does the mind of the famous Dr. Benton Quest function?”

Benton stiffened. He avoided looking at her and returned to picking at his food with his fork. “Nothing important really. What was it that you were saying? Something about marinara sauce?”

“Don’t change the subject, Benton,” she said more seriously. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been thinking a lot. Perhaps talking about it would ease your mind a bit. Was it about the boys? A new project that you’ve been working on? A new love perhaps?” Benton stiffened once more. Jessica smiled knowingly at him.

“So that’s what troubles you, Benton Quest. A new love. Will you tell me who it is or will I have to guess?” Jessica pretended to ponder, placing her hand on her chin. “Are you thinking about Alice again? Or is it someone much closer to you, say a certain bodyguard?” She winked at him. Benton looked flabbergasted.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“Oh, woman’s intuition really. That and the way you look at him when you think no one’s looking. Really, Benton, you really can’t fool me. I’m not an idiot, you know.”

“I don’t look at him in any particular way,” Benton protested. Jessica scoffed. “Really, Benton, you’re not fooling anyone so let’s drop the charade, shall we?”

“So how did you win him over, then? A good old fashioned confession? Oh, wait, was it during one of your oh-so-many adventures? Perhaps during a particular dangerous situation when you didn’t know if you would live or not?”

Benton looked nervously at his shoes. “He doesn’t know actually. I haven’t told him...or anyone else for that matter.”

“Benton! How on earth is he going to know that you like him if you don’t tell him? And from what you’ve told me he won’t be on the market for long. What’s stopping you, Benton?” She asked as she gazed at her with a concerned look on her face.

“Oh, you know, the usual, fear and all that. Really, Jessica, I can’t tell him. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I won’t jeopardize our relationship merely for my own satisfaction. Jonny and Hadji are very attached to Race. I refuse to be the cause of Race’s departure,” he said quietly.

Jessica frowned, her features softening suddenly. “I’m sorry, Benton. You’ve given this a lot of thought, haven’t you?”

“Yes, yes I had to. Race plays an important role in Jonny and Hadji’s lives. I had to be sure, and I refuse to hear any more on the subject,” Benton said sternly.

“Well, let me just say this, Benton. I know you’re thinking about how this would affect Jonny and Hadji, but have you ever thought about your own happiness? Race could be the one for you, Benton, that is if you believed in such things. Do you really want to think back on your life and wonder ‘what would have happened if I told Race how I felt? Would he have reciprocated my feelings? If only, if only.’ You won’t know unless you try, Benton. A wise woman once said that love is like a rainy day. After the rain goes, there are rainbows; but you won’t find any rainbows if you stay inside your house, warm and safe. Go find your rainbow, Benton. You won’t have to imagine what it would be like, won’t have to pretend. And now, as agreed, this spaghetti looks good, doesn’t it, Benton?” Jessica turned to her plate, twisting her fork into the spaghetti.

“Yes, it looks wonderful, doesn’t it?” Benton agreed. He smiled at her. He couldn’t force her words out of his mind, though, no matter how hard he tried.

Red

The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. Race didn’t know why that kiss bothered him so much. He couldn’t keep out of his mind until his visit with Estella. Jessie had been wanting to spend some time with her mother and wanted Race to come along. Wanted to be a family. Race couldn’t say ‘no’ to her, not that he ever could.

Things between Race and Estella were civil as usual. If anything, they were actually beginning to get more chummy with each other, and for a moment it was almost like it was fourteen years ago [5]. Things got heated between them. One thing lead to another. A touch lead to a kiss and a kiss...well, a kiss lead to more touching and beyond touching. And after the night was over, Race was one satisfied man. Exhaustion lead to sleep and sleep lead to dreaming.

Race’s dream started out much like that very evening had started. He was with Estella, talking with her. Heated glanced turned into heated touches. He started kissing her, running his hands through that wonderful, luscious, red hair of hers. Her hair shortened, turned into a lighter shade. Race found himself kissing Benton. In his dream, Race had noticed that he was kissing Benton but was undisturbed by it. In fact once he had noticed that it was Benton he was kissing, the dream version of Race kissed him more intently. And that was where the dream ended. Race was so startled by it that he sat up in bed upon awakening.

“Race? What’s wrong?” a very sleepy Estella asked him, turning around to face him.

“Nothing, Estella. Go back to sleep,” he said softly. Race laid back on his back, staring at the ceiling, finding himself unable to sleep.

The next day wasn’t any better. Whenever he kissed Estella he would remember the dream and think of Benton. It got to the point where he was forced to rebuff Estella’s advances albeit subtly. Estella would notice if he pulled back too quickly.

Race left earlier than planned. When Estella asked him, he had explained that he wanted to give her time alone with Jessie. She wasn’t completely convinced but sensed that something was bothering him, so she left it at that. Race was grateful that she had refrained from asking questions. Race wasn’t really too sure about anything at the moment, and he wasn’t sure he would have been able to explain that to Estella. He also didn’t want her to know about the dream. The less she knew, the better.

Race didn’t leave for the Quest Compound immediately after leaving Estella’s place. He wanted to figure things out first. He also didn’t want to face Benton until he was completely sure of whatever he was feeling.

It was unlike him to think about things. Race was a man of action. If he liked a woman, he let her know. But this was different. For one, Benton wasn’t woman, and he wasn’t going to treat him as such. Second, Benton was his employer and friend. If he messed up then it might affect their working relationship and also their friendship. He didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize their friendship. Benton meant a lot to him. Third, it was Benton, intelligent, humble, practical Benton. The last thing he wanted to do was do anything to hurt Benton. With those points in mind, Race began to think.

At first he thought it was lust. After all, his dreams and more recent fantasies had mostly consisted of physically action. He would fantasize about kissing Benton, having sex with him. He had decided that if it was really just lust, then he wouldn’t act on it. He wasn’t going to risk anything simply because he wanted Benton physically. Benton deserved more than that. Benton deserved a loving, committed, long-term relationship.

But the more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe it wasn’t lust. He wanted Benton to be happy but he could also attribute that to camaraderie. It was when he thought about the little things that he became convinced that maybe, just maybe, he was in love with Benton Quest. He liked his hair, not just the color and style but also the smell. Benton had used the same conditioner for the past three years that Race had known him. It smelled of strawberries and left Benton’s hair nice and soft. Race liked being near Benton, liked hearing him talk even if it was hearing Benton talk about his numerous gadgets. Race could fall asleep hearing him talk. His voice soothed him. Not only that but he felt safe in Benton’s presence. Perhaps it was all that they had been through together, but he knew that if they were trouble, they would get out of it together. Race never felt homesick when he was with Benton. Benton was home to him, and Jonny and Hadji were like the sons he never had.

But it was one thought that really convinced Race. It was the thought that maybe, one day, Benton might not be there. The thought brought him so much pain that he could only think about momentarily. He didn’t know what he would do without Benton. Benton was such a large part of his life that if he were gone...well, he hoped he would never have to find out what he would do if Benton were gone.

With having thought all of it through, Race came to a decision. He was going to try make Benton happy in whatever way he could. If that meant that he would stay at his side as a friend than he was more than happy to do that. Race even let himself entertain the thought that Benton might hold feelings for him, that they could be happy together.

Race set the coordinates in his plane to the Quest Compound. He was going home. Race was simply dying to know what Benton tasted like.

Confession

Benton had been reading some journal articles when he had heard a knock on the door. “Yes, come in.” he organized the pile of papers on his desk. He looked up to find Race by the door. “Race, you’re back early.” He frowned when he saw how serious Race was. “Race, is something wrong? Did something happen? Are Jessie and Estella alright?” Benton rose to his feet.

Race shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong, Ben. I just have something important to discuss with you. You might want to sit down for this,” Race told him. Race’s consolations did nothing to appease Benton. If anything he felt worse. He had never seen Race act so serious. Whatever was bothering Race must have been something important. “Yes, of course, Race.”

Race dragged a chair from across the room and placed it in front of Benton. He sat down and let out a huge sigh. “We’ve known each other for a long time, Ben.”

Benton nodded. “Three years, almost four.”

“And we’ve been through a lot together. We’ve become good friends, haven’t we?” Race sighed again. “This is harder than I thought it would be,” he muttered to himself.

Benton could only watch helplessly as Race was trying to gather his thoughts. It was only then that it occurred to Benton that perhaps Race was resigning. That would explain it why it was hard for him to tell him. Maybe that’s why Race had left early from his vacation. He had realized how much he liked spending time with Jessie and Estella, how good it was to be a family again. And he had come back to tell Benton that he was quitting, that he had missed out on having a family and that he was going back to Estella so they could be a family again.

It was then that Benton remembered what Jessica had told him. Something about finding a rainbow. Although if Benton was hard-pressed about it, he would have to admit that it was possibly the worst love metaphor he had heard in his life. But still, that didn’t matter. What mattered now that there was a possibly of Race leaving and Benton could not allow him to leave without telling him how he felt first.

Benton stood up from his chair. He was very aware that his face was probably turning a nice shade of red. At the moment, Benton didn’t care. There were more important things to worry about now.

“You can’t leave, Race-”

Race’s troubled expression turned into a confused one. “Who said anything about leaving?” Race asked him.

Benton ignored him. He would only be able to get through this if he did it really fast. “You mean so much to me- to the boys. I...” he found his throat closing up, “You are extremely important to me, Race Bannon.”

“As you are to me, Ben. Now what is this all about?” Race asked once more, concerned this time.

“Let me finish, Race. It’s hard enough as it is.”

Race nodded, signaling for Benton to continue.

“I care about you a lot, Race. In fact, more than I probably should.” Realization dawned on Race’s face. Benton continued anyway, “You helped me with Rachel’s death. I thought that I would never be able to do that. For a long while, I really thought that I would be overcome with my grief...but then, you came along and you made everything better. You even helped me with Jonny. And I know that you were just doing the right thing but it meant a lot to me, Race. Over the years I have come to realize that these feelings I hold for are more than what a friend feels for another friend.”

Race grinned at him. “Really? How so?” Race stood up, walked over to Benton. He placed his hands on Benton’s forearms, gently massaging his arms.

“I’ve come to realize that what I feel for you is love.”

“What kind of love, Ben?” Race asked him. One hand had wandered up Benton’s arm and now rested on the back of his neck. They were now standing merely inches from each other.

“Romantic love. I’m in love with you, Race Bannon, truly, madly, deeply. I want to spend every waking moment with you, forever. T-that is if you’ll have me.” Benton found Race’s blue eyes staring transfixed on him. “Of course, I’ll have you, Benton Quest, if you’ll have with me, with all my faults.”

“O-of course! You have no faults, Race, at least, not in my eyes,” Benton answered immediately. Race chuckled. “Good to hear. I love you, too, Benton Quest.” Race’s hands found Benton’s and squeezed his hands tightly. Race then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Benton’s lips. Benton felt his legs turn to jelly. It was more wonderful than he had imagined.

Race leaned down to give him another kiss...and another, until the little pecks lead to slow, deep kisses. Benton eventually collapsed on a chair with Race on top of him, straddling his hips, still kissing him.

“Race?” Benton said between kisses.

“Yes, Ben?” Race said, turning his attention to Benton’s exposed neck.

“I’d like to take things slow, if you don’t mind. We’ve wasted so much time dancing around each other and now that we’re here...I just want to appreciate it. Every single moment of it.”

Race nodded and gave Benton another peck on the lips. “Of course, Ben, anything you want, whatever’ll make you happy.”

Benton felt Race’s arms wrap around him tightly. “If you think I’m going anywhere, think again, mister. I’m here to stay, for as long as you’ll have me.” Benton wrapped his own arms around Race.

“Good.”

Morning

Mornings had never meant much to Race. Working with Benton would usually mean that he was up at the crack of dawn, working on another project of his. Race had never liked leaving Benton alone. So Race would also wake up at the crack of dawn, as well, usually working on his morning exercise routine and getting ready for the rest of the day. Mornings took on a whole different meaning when Race started sleeping with Benton. It wasn’t the sex that made it better but simply being in Benton’s presence that made mornings so wonderful.

Race had gotten into the habit of waking up even earlier than the good scientist. He would spent a few minutes staring at his sleeping lover before heading over to take a shower. He didn’t know why but Race liked watching Benton sleep. It was peaceful and soothing. It also made Race feel more secure, because he knew that Benton was safe. Benton would always be safe as long as Race was there to watch over him and protect him. He wouldn’t let anything happen to Benton.

Race liked watching the rise and fall of Benton’s chest. He loved how Benton would furrow his eyebrows in his sleep as if trying to some mathematically puzzle while he slept. He would often run his hands up and down the length of Benton’s arm. Race found Benton’s skin to be annoyingly smooth and soft. He couldn’t get enough of touching it.

“Hm? Race? What are you doing up? It’s early,” Benton asked him as he stirred.

“Nothing, Ben. Go back to sleep,” Race soothed. He rubbed soft circles on Benton’s back until he felt Benton’s body relax once more.

Race had always been an attractive man. He found romance easily and quickly. His relationships always ended quickly though. It was different with Benton; he vowed that it would be. He had a good thing going with Benton. He wasn’t to screw this up. Benton was always so understanding. He would barely blink when Race talked to Jade or Estella, two of his former greater loves. That didn’t mean that Race wasn’t constantly reassuring Benton that he loved him. Because he did...and often. Race, on the other hand, wasn’t so understanding as Benton had been. He would get into a jealous fit whenever he saw someone get too close to Benton. He had a severe jealousy fit when Benton had gone to see Alice again. Granted nothing had ever happened between them and Race had been there the entire time, but that still didn’t stop from gritting his teeth in anger. Benton had been unfazed by his jealousy, had even laughed. And that was all it took for Race’s jealousy to subside. Race wasn’t sure what he did to earn Benton’s love, but he wasn’t going to question it.

“That’s it,” Benton murmured sleepily. Race was startled from out of his thoughts. “What is it, Ben?”

“I can’t sleep with you watching me like that. It’s unnerving, Race. I hope you’re happy now, Race. I’m wide awake,” Benton mumbled angrily. Race merely laughed. Benton would get grumpy when his sleep was disturbed. “That wasn’t my intention, Ben. I’m sorry.”

“You can make it up to me by taking Jonny out later. He’s been asking me about letting him drive. I’ve told him, ‘No, Jonny. You cannot drive until you have your driver’s permit, at least.’ But does he listen?”

Race kissed Benton’s cheek. “I was thinking of some other way to make it up to you,” Race told him mischievously, placing kisses on Benton’s neck. Benton chuckled. “Really? Why don’t you show me, Mr. Bannon?”

“Glad to, Dr. Quest.”

FIN