Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Confusion and Apologies 

Ace was confused.

Well, you can't really blame him.

He woke up due to something heavy crush on him. He opened his eyes only to find his brothers with teary-eyes, which surprised Ace.

"What are you two doing?!"

Luffy utter softly, "A-Ace, is this really you? T-this is not a dream, right?"

"What are you talking about Luffy? Why are you crying?" Ace asked his voice softening.

"Ace, I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Sabo sobbed.

Both Luffy and Sabo clinging to him like koalas, crying.

"What is wrong with you two? Why are you crying exactly?"

As Ace tried to get away, Luffy wrapped his arms around Ace and Sabo tightly.

"Luffy, Sabo, let me go."

"NO!"

Both just burying their face deeper into Ace’s shoulders.

"How about you let me go first so I can figure out why are you crying?"

"... Ace."

Ace looked over to see Dadan. She too was crying while coming closer to them.

This, this... What is this? Something about Dadan's eyes that Ace had never seen before.

Luffy and Sabo finally moved away but still hold onto Ace.

"Dadan, why are you crying?"

Dadan was on her keens and embrace him tightly.

"What are yo-"

"Son."

Ace paused for a moment

"What did you say?"
"You are my son."
"Why are you saying this?"
"You are my son."
"Why now?"

Dadan hugged him even more tightly.

"Why now? Why now? You said I'm not your son," Ace began to cry. "You never cared."

"I'm truly sorry."
"Let me go."

Dadan let him go, and Ace fled.
Luffy and Sabo pursued him, not wanting to lose their brother.

"Boss, T-this means Ace is still alive and well. He is still living." 

"I'm not sure if this is a miracle or a second chance. Give me the den-den so I can call Garp."

"I'm on it, boss."
Dogra dashed away.

x-x-x-

Luffy and Sabo lost track of Ace.

"Sabo." 

"Yes, Luffy?"

"Ace is still alive. We are little again. Ace's chest is..." Luffy was unable to continue.

He was making every effort not to cry again. Sabo clenched his hand and glanced at the ground.

"Yes. Ace is still alive. He's still alive."

"Do you know what happened, Sabo?"

"No, I don't. Let's find Ace first, Luffy."

"Alright, let's split up to look for him."

"Hm."

-x-x-x-x

A part of Sabo knew where Ace would be, but he hoped it wouldn't be the case. Sabo found Ace crying by the river. Sabo's breathing came to a halt.

"Ace... Are you ok?"

"She didn't care. She said I'm not hers. So why? How come now?"

"Ace.."

"Leave me alone, Sabo."

Sabo and Ace sat next to each other. "I won't leave you, you are my brother. I promised you." Never again.

Sabo finally spoke up after a few moments.

"You know, Ace... Dadan is the type of person who doesn't know how to express love, but she loves you. She was always loved you."

"You don't know that. You don't know her." 

"She loves you." 

"You don't know-" 

"But I do. I know she loves you because she would do anything for you. She never know how to show love but when it comes to you or Luffy or even me, she would even punch Garp if she has to." Sabo quietly sob, "You have always been her son." 

"What 's with all of you today?" Ace asked, "You all woke up and started acting like I came back from a long trip or something."

"You did. You'd been on a long, long trip. You're finally home." 

"I didn't do anything. What are you saying?" 

"Ace," Sabo said, "don't do anything stupid." 

Ace went completely still. 

Sabo took a deep breath and fixed his hat, "Shall we go? Luffy is looking for you and Dadan is properly worried."  

Ace didn't move. 

"Do you want to stay here a little longer?"

".."

"Ok wherever you are ready" 

-x-x-x-x

It was almost night when they got back. 

"ACE" 

And there he was, Luffy clinging on Ace like a Koala on a tree, but the tree was screaming at him to let go. The tree seemed to have forgotten that another Koala was close behind him, joining in the hug. Both koalas were almost crying again. The tree was exhausted and had given up for the day. It seems like the tree doesn't like hugging. It may be troublesome in the future.  

Something was seriously wrong. 

Why? Because Luffy didn't try to steal food from Ace in fact he give it to Ace, so did Sabo. 

If Ace wasn't freaking out then he is now. If that's not the worse case, everyone is quite, no one is fighting for food for the first time. It was uncomfortable. 

Finally the day was over, Ace hoped whatever was up with today will be gone by tomorrow. 

Luffy was already asleep while holding Ace's shirt. 

"Hey, Ace?"

"Yeah?"

 "You will be here when I wake up tomorrow, right?" 

Ace glance at him. 

"Did you had a dream where I was gone, Sabo?" 

"... Yes." I'm a small voice Sabo answered. 

Ace, for a split second, just a split second, felt relieved. 

"Sabo, I'm right here" For now. "I will be here when you wake up, so go to sleep." 

Sabo silently held Ace's hand. 

"Sabo-" 

"Night, Ace."

With that, Sabo fall asleep within a minute. Ace slowly tried to let go but Sabo held him tighter. He signed and turned to his back, staring at the ceiling.

"This is uncomfortable." 

'Just what is going on today. Why did they suddenly...'

"... Ace" 

"huh?! Oh... Luffy, you woke up?"

"Ace." 

"What's wrong?" 

"I have a question." 

"What is it?" 

"What if....what if you die and I'm still here?"

"You!? You think I going to die?!" Ace hit Luffy on the head.

"OW!!" Luffy slightly smiled, "It's just a question." 'it's just like back then.' 

"I'm not going to die, you idiot!"

'Liar' "Just answer my question. What if you die and I'm still here?" 

Luffy was serious. This made Ace quite for a bit. 

"Then you will be all grown up, you will have your own crew, you will be stronger than you are now but not strong then me. And you won't need me anymore." 

'Luffy having a crew he can rely on, somehow that puts me at ease.' 

Luffy clenched his fists, "No." 

"What?" 

"I think I'll always need you." 

Luffy mubble as he grab a hold of Ace's shirt tightly. 

Ace silently rub his brother's hand. 

"Luffy, go to sleep it's late." 

Luffy listen to him and layed down beside him still holding onto him. 

Ace was back looking at the ceiling again. 

"A-Ace, is this really you? T-this is not a dream, right?" 

"Ace I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Son." 

"I'm sorry."

"You are my brother." 

"she loves you. She always did." 

"You have always been her son." 

"You will be here when I wake up tomorrow, right? 

"I think I'll always need you." 

'Why did all of them suddenly...'

He can't stop thinking about everything. 

'This is the first time Dadan had called me her son, also the first time I saw Dadan and everyone cry. Just why? I wonder what cause them to act like this.'

'I hope tomorrow everything changes back to how it was' 

Chapter Text

chapter 2: Forgiveness And The Empty Space

As the sun rose filling the light in the darkness left by the starless night. 

There you could see two brothers race towards the forest. Laughter spread as they race as though they were kids again.

There, we see, a house where a small man watch them arrive which made him a bit panic as he rush to get his boss.

In comes an overly large women with orange curly hair and a musclure face. If you look closely you see her teary.

The smaller one, the younger brother with a straw hat rans to her, arms spared wide had hugged her. She barely magaed to balance herself.

While the older one raise his top hat and bow a little.

"We are home, Dadan." the boys said.

"You idiots." the woman, Dadan, screams.

Her two boys have returned safe and sound.

"CHEERS." every person in the house has a glass of beer, after all it is a celebration. 

"YOU! IF YOU WERE ALIVE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WERE ALIVE?! HUH?!"

"YOU WANNA DIE?!"

"Please... let... go of... my neck... I'm... dying."

....or maybe not.

Some of them immediately grab the older brother by the neck while the younger one is laughing at them.

Dadan watches as everyone is celebration then stares out the window. 

The older brother sees her sitting by the window with cigarette in her hand. 

Slowly he approachs her, she notices him. 

The boy bows down to her. 

As if the moment has been paused, everything is frozen. Silence. 

"What are you doing, Sabo?"

"I'm home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never sent you a word, Mom." 

"Get up, you brat."

Yet he bows deeper.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I'm so sorry." the older boy, Sabo, begins to cry. 

Now she is silent.

The younger brother too comes near and gets on her keens.

"...Luffy?"

"I missed you so much, mom. I still hate mountain bandits though." The boy, Luffy, then bows as well, "I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I'm sorry."

"......Why are you apologizing to me? Neither of you were at fault. Just get up."

Slowly they raises their heads, their eyes almost red from holding their tears back. 

"Because" Sabo begins, "we were his brothers but you were his mother. We were in pain but it could never be compared to you. You raised him, us as your own even though we only gave you headaches and worries. When we lost him I bet everything I have that you were worried about Luffy."

"I wanted to write to you" this time, Luffy begins "but I didn't know how to face you. I didn't know how to talk to you after he was gone. I didn't know what to do."

"I'm not angry at you nor do I blame you. I don't hold a grudge against garp anymore so you shouldn't either. So please just... stop blaming yourself."

She hugs them and that's all it takes for them to break down. 

Safe. They falt so safe. In her arms. Like a child who was lost for so long is now back in their mother's arms. 

This must be the first time her house has been so lively and then turned so silent in just a moment.

The brothers are in their tree house. Their safe place.

Just like before they are making their beds, laughing, making jokes, laying down and finally falling asleep.

Everything is the same.

Except the middle space is empty. 

One boy left as a child now returned as an adult gaining his freedom. 

One boy left as a teen was doomed to never return but will forever be remembered by many. 

One boy left as teen now returned as an adult fulfilling his dream. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 3":Are you a dream or are you real? If your a dream, please don't wake me up. If you are real, please don't leave me" 

It somewhat did.

It somewhat didn't.

What somewhat did was how it all went back to normal, everything went back to how it was.

No one was crying anymore. No was hugging him anymore. No one was just sitting and eating in silence. When it comes to food it has always been a war. 

What somewhat didn't was how they all pretended what happened never happened. 

Ace was not an idiot. He could tell just from a look.

How Dadan changed. How she would try to be affectionate. How she keep a close eye on them, on him. How she would run a hand on his hair. How the rest of the bandit seem to stare at him when they think he doesn't notice. 

How Sabo changed. How he would stare at him like he was afraid if he ever blinked Ace would disappear. How he would try to be close with Ace. How he would want to do many things with Ace.

How Luffy changed. How his stretched out arm would hold his shirt all the time. How he would run after Ace and cries when Ace is gone. How many times he would wake crying and calm down when he sees Ace. 

Why?

Ace was not an idiot. Whatever it was that happened he was involved deeply yet he didn't know what it was. Even if he try asking no one would give him an honest answer.

Maybe all this was his imagination. If it was then he will take it. 

So then why, why are they looking at him like like? He could their intense stare on either his chest or back. This was not his imagination. 

Ace need to find out just what happened. 

Makino was cleaning the bar. It was quite rare for her bar to so empty and quiet. 

Just as she was about to relax, the door open, almost breaking. 

'I spoke too soon.'

"Welcome-oh Ace!" 

Ace rush inside like he was running away like something was after him. 

"Makino, hide me!"

'Is someone chasing him?' She hurried him to hide behind the counter. 

She looked at the entrance again to see Luffy and Sabo. 

....What? 

She gazed back at Ace who looked at her shaking his head. 

Why is Ace running away from them? 

"Makino, did Ace came him?" 

She smiled, "No he haven't. What are you boys doing here?" 

"We were just...uh we were just running around and lost Ace, so we are looking for him." nervously Sabo explained whereas Luffy was fidgeting. 

Strange. Sabo has never lied and Luffy haven't asked for food yet. 

Ace was hiding from his brothers for whatever reason. 

With a smile, she replied,"Oh, then maybe you should look at the places where he rarely go to." 

At that, Sabo's shoulders tense and he was anxious while Luffy seemed to be thinking where Ace could be. 

They thanked her and ran out. 

She locked the door and approached Ace. 

Getting on knees, she gently asks,"Are you ok?" 

Ace looked at her and woundered if she would believe him yet he tells her. 

"They changed. They suddenly changed one morning. One morning I woke up and suddenly they all changed. They cried when they saw me, Dadan called me her son, Sabo is being weird, he keeps looking at me like if he blink I would disappear and Luffy keeps waking in middle of the night crying but as soon as he sees me he would calm down and sleep. They all changed. They pretend nothing is changed but everything did."

Makino listened calming. Ace wounded if the women believes him. 

"I believe you." 

"You do?" Ace was not convinced. 

"Luffy and Sabo were acting differently. Sabo lied and Luffy didn't asked for food. When I told them to look for you in other places where you could be, Sabo tensed up and looked somewhat horrified. So, yes, I believe you."

Makino eyed Ace, "the fact your here hiding from your brothers is also why I believe you." 

Finally. Someone believed him. "I don't know what to do." 

"You know, Ace, there is a way...a way to tell if people are being genuine or fake." Confessed Ace looked at her, "You have to observe closely and learn about them though their acts and tells to know what they mean. This is called body language." 

"Body language? Is that how you know Sabo and Luffy were acting different?"

"Yes. Every person is different, every person's language is different. Their tone, the look in their eyes, the way their body reaction, their fingers, their footsteps and more."

Makino isn't the type to share secrets but at this moment she felt like an older sister who was telling her brother how the world works. 

"So if I learn their body language, observe closely I can understand them?"

"However you must never let them know. You have to be secretive about this." 

"Why?" 

"They intend to hide away." 

"Oh I get it. I think this way I can understand them bett-" 

Before he could finish speaking, Ace fall asleep so suddenly. Makino catched him before he could fall. 

Slowly, she held him. She didn't know why but it felt as though it has been a long time. 

Makino was suddenly restless. She didn't know why. 

She picked him up and took his to the guest room and put him on the bed. 

Instantly, he got comfortable and lay on his stomach. She smiled and went back. 

I know this place. 

It's in shambles, with smoke and debris all over. 

There are people screaming. 

It's cold. It's too cold. It's freezing. 

Where is the fire?

There is the smell of gunpowder and blood. 

My brother is on the ground covered in blood. A hole in his chest. 

There is blood on my hands. 

My brother's blood. 

I couldn't save you. 

I'm sorry. 

You are smiling as your fire fades away. 

You are not warm anymore. 

It's cold. It's too cold. It's freezing. 

Are you dying? 

You promised you won't die. 

Why are breaking your promise? 

Come back. 

It's dark. 

I'm scared. 

I'm crying. 

You hate crybabies. 

I can't help it. 

Where are you? 

Please come back. 

I still need you. 

Blank. 

That's how Makino found Luffy. 

After putting Ace in the guest room, Luffy arrived about half an hour or so. 

"Luffy, where is Sabo?" 

"We spild up to look for Ace." 

"Well Ace is in the guest room fast asleep" 

Luffy looked as though every bad thing is now gone. He rushed to be by Ace. 

After a minute or so, Makino was restless again. She hurried to where the kids to find luffy sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. 

"Luffy!" she screamed his name, shaking him. He looked lifeless. As if his entire world was torn apart. 

"Ace! Ace wake up!" Slowly Ace woke up. 

"Makino, what-" "Look at Luffy!" 

And he did. Why did Luffy looked like that? 

"Luffy! Luffy!" 

***

"... ffy.... Lu...y"

Is someone calling him? 

"Lu...ffy....lu"

Why does it sounds like Ace? 

Why is he hearing his voice? 

He is seeing his brother.

Why is he younger? 

He is older then him. 

So why is he younger?

Or is it Ace from his brain again? 

All of a sudden, Luffy felt pain on his jewline. The pain was real. Luffy looked around and finally his eyes landed on Makino. Makino is here. Why does she look like that? 

And there was Ace. No, how can it be? Ace is dead. 

Slowly, Luffy raise his hand and gently placed it on Ace's shoulder, sliding down to where his heartbeat is supposed to be. 

'I can touch him. 

He is real. 

His heart was beating. 

It wasn't still. 

He feels warm. 

Not cold. 

Ace is here. 

His brother is here. 

That's right. 

They are little again. 

And Ace is alive. 

His brother is alive.'

"LUFFY." 

Ace is calling him. Luffy slowly, wordlessly warp his arms and legs around him. 

"Luffy what happened?" 

He didn't answer. He didn't want to talk. He wanted nothing but his brother. He held Ace tighter. 

Ace went quite and slowly looked Makino. Makino was distraught. 

She signal Ace to be quite and let Luffy calm down. After some time Luffy was asleep, still refused to let go. 

"This is what I mean when I said they changed." Ace said. 

"I believe you." Makino look over at Luffy, he still had that look,"but why?" 

"I don't know, I don't know what to do."

"How about you go home for today? It's been a long day for you. I will come and meet you tomorrow." 

Ace was unsure but nodded. Luffy still won't let go so he had no choice but to carry him and he did. 

Just in time for Sabo to be there too. Sabo said nothing, so didn't Ace. Sabo just held onto his shirt. 

"You brats, you are late." Dadan scolded him. "Come in, take a bath and only then eat." 

Sabo and Ace woke Luffy up. 

It went as well as it could. Luffy went back to his usual self. Ace could tell he wasn't fully back.

Nightfall, Ace was the first to fall asleep. 

"Luffy, what happened?" Luffy looked tired. So tired. 

"I thought I saw Ace die all over again. Suddenly I was back there, Ace was lifeless on the ground. I felt it happened all over again. I only woke up after he hit me." 

Sabo just silently stare, "You had a flashback." 

"I don't want it." 

"it just happens. It happens to me too but it's different from you." 

"Sabo, you and I won't be older then Ace, right?"

"No, this time we won't be. Ace is the oldest out of three of us."

"i hope so."

They went to sleep.

With warmth between them. 

Chapter Text

 Chapter 4: Such a joyous occasion yet I feel hollow. 

Birthdays. 

Birthdays are known to be a joyous occasion.
Of course it was. It was the day you were born.
Why wouldn't it be a joyous occasion. 

Today is my birthday. 

I'm not happy. I'm not happy.
I'm growing old.
Older then him. 
No, he was the oldest. 
Why am I getting older?
Why can't today just disappear? 

I try to hide. 
I try to exist as if my soul doesn't hurt. 
I try to pretend I'm happy. 

"Happy birthday!" 
They short joyfully. 
I smile fakely. 
My cheeks hurt. 
I go on as if everything is normal. 
They don't notice. 
But I know those people did. 

It's somewhat unpleasant how it used to so joyous, now feels with hollow for me. 

I wish he was here. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Tell Me My Dear, If I Asked You To Live For Yourself, Will You Live? 

Ace was running.

Along with his brothers. Why, you may wonder. Because a goril-the narrative means their grandfather was chasing them.

Screaming at them to come back here.

He and his brothers spit up.

Unfortunately for Ace, the gorli-his grandfather was after him.

"Come here, you brat." 
"NO!" 

Ace tripped, how unfortunate. 

Garp finally catched him. Ace expected him to hit him but instead Garp hugged him tightly. 

Ace felt a wave of panic. It's happening again. He looked from Garp's shoulder to see Dadan hold a wooden club? 

Why? Just what is going on? 

Body language...

He took a deep breath and starts to pay attention.

Then he saw it, Garp's shoulders were shaking, his breathing was controlled and Dadan's fingers were shaking around the wooden club. As if she was afraid but ready to hit Garp. 

Garp then let go of Ace and drag him with him towards the cliff. Even as Ace demanded him to let go. He gave dadan a look something that says I will take care of this. 

There they sat down, quiet. 

Ace opened his month but Garp beat him to it, "I'm sorry." 

Ace's head snap towards the man, "why" he hesitated, "why are you apologizing?" 

Garp turns his body to his direction and bows his head, "I'm sorry for telling you everything. You are not responsible for your parents crimes. You are born out of love, Ace. You deserve to live. To love. All for yourself. You deserve to be selfish."

Ace just stares. Why is this happening again? What did he do? Exactly what happened? 

"What did I do?" Ace asks 

Garp looks him in the eye, "Nothing. You did nothing wrong." 

"Then why?"

"Because I love you." 

Ace flitched. 

"Because you are my grandson. Because you are my family. Let me ask you, if I ask you to live for yourself, will you live? It doesn't matter if you are a pirate, I want you to live for yourself." 

Ace stared, stared at this old man. This old man who trained and demanded for him, Luffy and Sabo to become marines, who was against them becoming pirates. This same old man is suddenly telling him that it doesn't because he needs to live. This same old man is bowing to him and apologizing for something-the same way everyone has been.

"I don't understand." Ace murmured

Then a loud voice, "ACE," a wild luffy appears and crushes into him. Sabo right behind him.

"I'M HUNGARY!" Luffy shouted.

"When are you not hungry?" Ace said

They hunt for food. Ace noticed, the way Garp eyed him. Closely and carefully. Luffy holding his shirt. And Sabo remaining close.

Now they were laughing, fighting and eating as if everything was back to normal.

Then nightfall
Ace couldn't sleep. Sabo and Luffy were asleep on both sides.

Ace could hear Garp and Dadan talking.

"How is it possible?" Dadan's voice was different

"I don't know either."
"But he is real and alive."
"He is."
"who else, Garp?"
"I don't know. For now only we know. Whatever it is that made this happen, I don't think I can thank it enough."

"do they know? That crew?" 

"I haven't confirmed it yet. I'm planning to track them down tomorrow." 

"I told you this before, Garp, and I will tell you this again. I don't blame you anymore. I forgave you. So, please...don't repeat it." 

"Never again." 

Who? What crew? Remember what? What did Garp do? 

What is it exactly? Why must he forgive for something he doesn't even know? Why is he the only one why doesn't know? 

And the worst part. 

No one will answer him.