Chapter Text
Magnus never planned on falling in love again. Not after being left to stitch together the remains of his heart that Camille ripped to shreds. Luckily, he wasn’t alone all those years ago. Despite everything when he showed up at Ragnor’s doorstep a drunken mess, Catarina and Ragnor had welcomed him back with open arms; offering words of comfort as if he hadn’t shut them out of his life while he was still with the vampire. Nobody could have predicted Alec Lightwood spiralling into his life and breaking down that wall he built so securely around himself with one look; one shy smile and little acts of kindness so foreign to see from Nephilim.
Nephilim. A shadowhunter. With hazel eyes and a face that reminds him of Will.
The first time he sees the young man is at his very own club after a Circle member had got the upper hand and nearly ended his life. The man had saved his life without so much as looking at him while Magnus couldn’t seem to stop staring before he was forced to flee, left to wonder who the stranger was.
Their first real introduction would come later that night with the tall, handsome Shadowhunter assisting him in taking down one of the Circle’s members that had invaded his lair. And like that with that simple, brief conversation, the wall around his heart cracks.
So what if he was a Lightwood?
The flirting comes easily; as natural as breathing. Magnus isn’t discouraged by the confused or seemingly disgusted faces Alec shoots his way. It’s adorable, really. How is he not supposed to think anything but?
Finding out that Alec is gay ( and apparently in love with his parabatai ) is less than thrilling. If he hadn’t been slightly worried that the young man would ever date someone of his kind ( a downworlder; a “lesser” being ) earlier, he was certainly worried now yet he refused to let that stop his attempts at flirting. Like a moth to a flame, there is just something about the younger man that draws Magnus to him.
So he continues his attempts. Somewhere deep inside him, he knows that the chances of them being together are very low. Yet what is a warlock supposed to do? He’s never felt his way before; never felt his heart soar the way it did when Alec looked at him.
It’s how he finds himself at the younger man’s wedding not long after, his appearance halting the wedding. For one heart-clenching moment, he thinks Alec will tell him to leave; that he had been telling the truth about not feeling anything for him. Then, the Shadowhunter steps down for the altar. The warlock’s eyes widened ever-so-slightly, for another painstaking moment he had expected a punch instead of a kiss. Leave it to Alexander to find more ways to surprise him.
The kiss is everything and more.
Magnus intends to tell him his precious secret sooner; but alas, it’s not in the cards. The cup is stolen. Jace disappears through a portal with Valentine and so on and so forth. It’s not until after Jace returns that the two make things official. The immortal should have told Alec right then.
Needless to say, he didn’t.
Nobody could ever love someone like you, Magnus. Camille's voice whispers in his ear every time he tries. Over and over. How could they? Look at you.
The moment he’s been dreading finally arrives; leaving him with no other opinion.
“I….I just thought…you know, I thought we could take the next step.” Alec’s expression is so honest and open; an insecurity in his voice that had Magnus’s heart clenching.
“The sex step?”
“Yeah.”
Well, here it goes. Inside the warlock curses himself for putting it off as long as he did as he braces himself for the taller man’s reaction. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he takes Alec’s hands in his. The shadowhunter blinks once before smiling softly and squeezing his fingers. “Alexander…there’s something I need to tell you.”
Confusion plays across the man’s face, his head tilting with a frown. He starts to say something though Magnus rushes to finish before he can.
“I’m transgender.”