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Jesse has a pointless, useless, and utterly embarrassing crush on the barista at the campus coffee shop.
It takes Rooney five minutes to figure it out once she forces him to confess that, yeah, he definitely has a crush on someone, which is why he isn’t interested in Kristen or Brenda or even Emma. She nearly falls over laughing when she does figure it out, though, which is galling to say the least.
“I appreciate your sympathy,” he tells her as she giggles helplessly. She is on the verge of falling off her perch on the arm of Justin’s couch, her hand pressed to her mouth as she laughs.
“It’s just – look, Brenda and I like to make jokes about his hair, all right? It’s full of secrets,” she says, nonsensically, and she breaks into a fresh peals of laughter at Jesse’s blank look.
Still, she’s not as bad as Josh, who immediately starts plotting ways to get barista guy to ask Jesse out, or Justin, who slings an arm around Jesse’s shoulders and says, “Are you sure you want someone that skinny? And with hair that ridiculous? Just saying, Jesse there are plenty of other people to sleep with.”
Armie’s response is slightly more gratifying; he doesn’t mock or laugh. All he asks is, “Is this why you’ve been so jittery lately?”
“Yeah,” butts in Josh. “Even more jittery than usual.”
“I have been drinking a lot of coffee,” Jesse admits. He may or may not have barista guy’s schedule memorized. He goes at least once during every shift, twice if he thinks he can get away with it.
Armie claps him on the shoulder bracingly and Jesse only just manages to keep his legs from buckling. “Dude,” he says cheerfully, “pull it together. You’re the one who’s in charge of the study group, you know. We can’t have you falling apart.”
“I know,” Jesse says helplessly.
“Have you talked to him, at least?” asks Rooney hopefully, scooting back to a more stable spot. “Like, do you know his name?”
Jesse shrugs, flustered as they all turn to look at him. “We say hi. He sometimes makes a joke or sometimes I say something. I don’t know.”
“That is the most tragic thing I have ever heard,” says Justin after a beat, his eyes wide. “Do you even know if he bats for your team?”
“Dude, way to be encouraging,” says Josh, punching Justin in the side. Justin makes a face, looking pained. “You should ask him if he’s seeing anyone.”
“No, just get his number,” objects Armie. They start bickering over what Jesse should do until Jesse finally has to hold up his hands to make them stop talking.
“Thanks for the thoughts, guys, but I’m fine. Really,” he says. It really isn’t the end of the world; he’s had dumb, useless crushes before. So long as he doesn’t have to ever know the guy’s name, it can remain in the harmless crush area. Jesse is content just to admire him from afar.
After they finish up with study group, Jesse heads back to his apartment and cuddles with his cat for a while until he feels less like a cliché from a bad chick flick. Then he makes a sandwich for himself and reads until he falls asleep onto his copy of Chaucer.
The next morning, Rooney arrives at his apartment with a plan. She rings his buzzer repeatedly until he lets her come up and then, once she’s inside his apartment, she says, “Get ready. We’re going to the coffee shop.”
Jesse blinks slowly, still slightly groggy, and says, “No, we’re not.”
“Jesse,” she says warningly, raising her eyebrows at him. “I am taking you to that coffee shop whether you like it or not, all right?” She wraps her arm around his shoulders and kisses his cheek before shoving him back towards his bedroom. “Go get dressed.”
Jesse changes into jeans and a shirt and reluctantly leaves his apartment with Rooney. She hooks her arm through his and frog-marches him down to campus, overriding his occasional feeble complaints.
“We’ve been looking for a better place to meet for study group anyway,” she points out. “Ever since Justin broke up with Jessica, meeting at their apartment is just weird. He should have moved out.”
“I don’t know why we can’t meet at someone else’s apartment,” says Jesse grumpily.
“Armie’s allergic to cats, I have a horrible roommate, and Josh lives really far from campus.” Rooney pushes open the door to the coffee shop and waves Jesse inside. “Besides, we never get anything done. There are too many distractions in people’s apartments.”
Jesse has to agree on that front; almost every study session this semester has ended with Josh and Armie beating the shit out of Justin in Halo. He sighs and goes inside, wincing as the bell over the door jangles loudly.
The barista guy is working, as Jesse had known he would be. He looks up at the sound of the door and waves, a huge smile on his face. Jesse ducks his head, embarrassed. Rooney elbows him hard in the side and hisses delightedly, “Jesse, look at that! He totally likes you.”
“He hangs out with all the cool British kids,” Jesse says despairingly, eyeing the barista. “I saw him on the quad with Rob and Keira. They were all, you know, laughing and having fun together. Those things that I don’t do.”
“Keira is kind of ditzy and Rob is weird,” Rooney says dismissively. “He likes you, just look at his face!”
Jesse looks back at the barista, who is still beaming in their direction. “He could be smiling at you,” objects Jesse, resisting the urge to wring his hands.
Rooney rolls her eyes and says, “At least find out his name,” before she shoves him bodily towards the counter. She’s surprisingly strong for such a small woman. Jesse stumbles a little but manages to catch himself on the ledge before he can run into it. The barista, still smiling, reaches out as if to steady him.
“Whoa there,” he says cheerfully. Jesse wobbles a little at the sound of barista guy’s voice. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Jesse says, a little out of breath from Rooney’s shove. He licks his lips nervously and asks, “Um, could I have a cappuccino?”
“Oh for the love of –” he hears Rooney mutter. She comes up beside him and says, “Hi. I’m Rooney. This is Jesse.”
“Nice to meet you,” barista guy says, still smiling. “I’m Andrew.” He points at his nametag, which does indeed say Andrew. Rooney steps on Jesse’s toes, giving him an exasperated look. “And it’s nice to finally know your name,” he says to Jesse with alarming sincerity. “You come in here all the time.”
“You noticed? I mean, yes. I do,” Jesse says.
“So, Andrew,” Rooney says with a meaningful glance at Jesse. “We’re in a study group that meets twice a week and we’d like to meet here, if that’s all right.”
“Sure,” Andrew says cheerfully. “How many of you are there?”
Rooney elbows Jesse until he says, “Five. Counting us.”
Andrew smiles again and says, “As long as you get here a little early to claim a table, I don’t see why there would be any problems.”
“Thank you so much,” Rooney gushes, beaming with her big dimples. She steps on Jesse’s foot again and he winces involuntarily.
“Thanks,” he echoes. “We really appreciate it.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Andrew says warmly. “Now, I’ll get you that cappuccino. On the house,” he adds, seeing Jesse about to reach for his wallet. “Frequent customer privilege.”
“Bullshit,” Rooney whispers as Andrew turns away, and she grins smugly up at Jesse.
Jesse looks at his cup and sees a sharpied smiley face with the words, For Jesse! written on the side. He smiles a little and glances back at Andrew, who is leaning against the back counter and talking to one of his coworkers. Andrew looks up and meets Jesse’s gaze. He smiles brightly and Jesse’s stomach flutters ridiculously.
“Oh my god, you guys are adorable,” says Rooney, grinning hugely.
“Stop it,” says Jesse, blushing furiously.
So now their Russian History study group meets in the coffee shop every Tuesday and Thursday after lecture.
“I can’t believe we’re going through this much effort to get Jesse laid,” says Justin when they settle themselves around the table. Josh and Armie are nudging each other and whispering to each other as they eye one of the baristas (Jesse is not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole).
“Justin, be kind,” Rooney says reprovingly, opening up her notebook. “Just because your girlfriend dumped you in spectacular fashion –”
“Hey, I dumped her,” protests Justin, crossing his arms and pretending that they didn’t actually see her dump him in spectacular fashion.
“- doesn’t mean you have to shit on other people’s happiness, okay?” Rooney finishes serenely.
“Hey, Jesse,” says Armie, leaning over to nudge Jesse’s shoulder. “Do you know that barista’s name? Josh and I think he’s in our Economics class.” He jerks his head to indicate a barista with impressive eyebrows.
“He can ask when he gets us our drinks,” Rooney says, and she stares at Jesse until he gets to his feet. Jesse collects everyone’s orders on a post-it, then heads to the counter where Andrew is talking to a boy with very curly hair.
“- that was when she said,” the boy is saying with wide gestures, “‘I didn’t know it would be so big!’ and so I said –”
“I would love to hear the rest of that, Robert,” Andrew says, catching sight of Jesse. “But I have a customer.”
“Right. See you later,” says Robert and he heads out of the shop, but not before making a slightly obscene hand gesture at Andrew, who laughs a little guiltily.
“Sorry about him,” Andrew says, turning to Jesse with a smile. “He’s… anyway. I see you brought your study group.”
Jesse glances back as if to reassure himself that they’re actually still there and then he looks back at Andrew. “Yeah. Um, yeah. I did.”
Andrew’s smile grows, if possible, even wider. “What can I help you with today?” he asks. Jesse looks down at the post-it note in his hand.
“I had to write them down,” he tells Andrew sheepishly. “And some of them are complicated.”
“May I see?” Andrew asks politely and when Jesse nods, he takes Jesse’s hand and reads off the post-it. He bends close, his breath brushing Jesse’s palm. Jesse’s breathing speeds up and his palms start sweating. He hopes desperately that Andrew doesn’t notice.
“Um,” Jesse says, wildly flailing about for something to say. “The other barista working here today – what’s his name?”
Andrew looks up, his smile slightly dimmed, and says, “You mean Max?”
“I guess,” Jesse says, shrugging cluelessly. “If that’s his name.”
Andrew nods and finally peels the post-it off Jesse’s hand. “I’ll take care of these and bring them to your table,” he says and he looks down at the register. Jesse drops his hand back to his side and fidgets while Andrew calculates the total.
“Twenty-three thirty-one,” Andrew says finally and Jesse hands over a crumpled twenty and an even more beat-up five. He accepts the change from Andrew and promptly drops it in the tip jar on a whim. Andrew smiles a little and then turns away from the register to make their drinks.
“So?” demands Rooney as Jesse sits down. “How did it go?”
“Fine,” Jesse lies, because Andrew had been acting a little strange towards the tail end of their conversation. He looks at Armie and Josh and says, “The other barista’s name is Max.”
Armie snaps his fingers and points at Josh triumphantly. “I told you it started with an M.”
“I never doubted you,” Josh says calmly.
“What do you mean, fine?” demands Rooney. “That’s not a good adjective.”
“It’s a perfectly acceptable adjective,” protests Jesse.
“Rooney, sweetie,” starts Justin.
“Justin, I swear to God, if you call me sweetie one more time, I’m going to do something you don’t like.” Rooney glares at Justin until he holds up his hands in surrender. Then she turns back to Jesse. “You have nothing else to say?”
“I ordered coffees, Rooney. There are only so many ways that can go,” says Jesse dryly.
Rooney harrumphs and opens up her textbook. “All right,” she allows. “Whatever. Let’s talk about last Thursday’s lecture, because I was totally lost.”
A few minutes later, Andrew comes over with their coffees on a tray, balancing them with a graceful ease that Jesse envies. He sets them out after asking who ordered what, and then smiles at Rooney. “Hey, Rooney. Nice to see you again.”
“Hey, Andrew.” She kicks Jesse under the table and he waves a little at Andrew, even though he just saw the guy.
“Hi, Jesse,” Andrew says with a hint of laughter in his voice, his smile widening. “I guess this is your study group?”
“Yes,” says Jesse after a blank pause. “Yes, they are. Um, you know Rooney. The two giants are Josh and Armie and that’s Justin.” He indicates each person in turn.
“So what is this study group for?” asks Andrew, hugging the empty tray to his chest and looking around at all of them.
“Russian History,” says Jesse with a little bit more excitement than he had intended. “From the Revolution to now.” He reaches for his coffee out of a desire to have a reason not to speak.
“Wow,” Andrew says, eyes widening. He sounds impressed. “That’s intense.”
“Jesse’s the head of our little group,” Armie says, slapping Jesse hard on the back. Jesse chokes on his coffee and starts coughing violently. “He’s a freaking genius.”
“Nerd,” says Justin. Then he says, “Ow!” and gives Rooney a dirty look.
Jesse feels like his face is on fire, both from embarrassment and air deprivation. He manages to recover himself and he says, “Please excuse Justin, he has chronic jerk mouth.”
Andrew giggles – actually giggles – and says, “I thought you must be smart. You’re always in here with the biggest books I’ve ever seen.”
Jesse feels himself turn red and he mumbles, “I’m not that smart.”
“Ignore him,” Josh tells Andrew. “He’s overly humble.”
“I’ve noticed,” Andrew says fondly. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you later, Jesse.”
As soon as Andrew is back behind the counter, everyone except Rooney and Jesse start cracking up. Jesse glares at all of them and says sincerely, “I hate you.”
“That was seriously the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” says Armie. “It was like watching the mating dance of two cartoon sparrows.”
“Can we please just study?” Jesse asks desperately, opening his textbook. “We should study.”
“All right,” Justin says patronizingly, reaching across to pat the back of Jesse’s hand. “We’ll study. Rooney, what were you saying about today’s lecture?”
Two weeks go by without anything really happening. Jesse has a massive paper for his Medieval Literature class due on Friday of the second week, so he barricades himself in his apartment and doesn’t leave until he finishes. It means that he only sees Andrew when he’s studying with the group. He tries to tell himself that he’s not being a coward, but even Karl doesn’t seem all that convinced.
Study group doesn’t meet on Tuesday, as they have their midterm that day, but on Thursday, Jesse goes inside with a strange sense of foreboding. He’s a little bit late; he had stayed after class to ask the professor a question, and so the rest of them have already ordered their drinks by the time he arrives.
Jesse drops off his bag at their table before heading to the counter. Andrew beams when Jesse reaches the counter.
“You haven’t been around lately,” he observes. “Midterms get you down?”
Jesse nods. “I’ve been a bit of a hermit lately,” he admits. “But I’m back now.”
“I’m glad,” Andrew says. He looks down quickly, turning slightly pink. “Would you like your usual?”
“Yes, thank you,” Jesse says automatically, handing over a five-dollar bill. He waits while Andrew turns away to make his drink, trying not to read too much into the fact that Andrew noticed his absence.
“Max is having a party at his apartment on Saturday,” Andrew tells Jesse as he hands over Jesse’s coffee and change. “You’re welcome to come. You can bring your friends,” he adds, no doubt seeing the look of panic on Jesse’s face. “Please?”
“All right,” says Jesse after a moment of frantic internal debate. “I’ll come.”
Andrew breaks into a sunny smile and says, “Great! He’s in apartment twelve thirty A in the Southfield building on ninth. Be there at seven.”
Jesse nods, trying to smile. He isn’t sure that he’s totally convincing, but Andrew beams at him and waves as he leaves, so Jesse counts it as a win. He heads over to their table and throws himself into the seat between Rooney and Justin. She takes one look at his face and asks, “What happened?”
“He invited me to a party. A party,” he moans, covering his face with his free hand. “You’ve seen me at parties.”
“Yes I have,” agrees Justin. “It’s not pretty.”
“What happens?” asks Rooney, who hasn’t yet seen the full extent of Jesse’s neuroses.
“It depends on whether he goes the drunk route or the silent route,” Justin tells her, leaning back in his chair. “I remember one time he drank, like, eight beers and ended up blacking out after completely failing to chat up a guy. It was an embarrassment.”
“I don’t know what you’re so worried about,” Rooney says practically. “He obviously likes you, otherwise he wouldn’t have invited you.”
“That doesn’t mean he wants to date me,” protests Jesse. “He probably already has a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend who isn’t crazy.”
“You’re not crazy,” says Rooney.
“He’s a little crazy,” says Justin. Rooney leans across Jesse to hit him in the arm, glaring fiercely.
“Shut up. Jesse is fine.” Rooney leans back in her seat and lays a reassuring hand on Jesse’s wrist. “We’ll come with you. It’ll be fine, all right?”
Jesse nods, even though he doesn’t really believe her. Justin leans over to poke at Amrie’s shoulder and says, “Hey, party this weekend?”
Armie and Josh both instantly agree to come to the party when they hear it’s at Max’s apartment. Jesse waves his hands and says, “No details, no information.”
Armie grins and says, “Why Jesse, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He slings an arm around Josh’s shoulders and the two of them smile at him in that creepily similar way they have.
“I don’t know, I think I want details,” says Rooney, eyeing them with a slight smile on her face.
“Stop talking, please,” Jesse pleads, resisting the urge to cover his ears.
Come Saturday night, the five of them meet at Rooney’s apartment, which she shares with her older sister. Jesse gets there first, as is usually the case, and has to wait on the couch while Rooney finishes getting dressed.
“You look nice,” she says when she comes out of the bathroom, her hair wound up on top of her head. She smiles, showing her dimples, and offers him a hand up. “Ready to meet the others?”
Armie and Josh are waiting outside, talking companionably. They whistle when they catch sight of Rooney, who twirls with a pleased grin on her face.
“All right!” says Justin excitedly, swaggering up in his skintight jeans and his black leather jacket. “Are we ready for this?” He flashes them some sort of hand sign that is probably meant to mean something to Jesse, but he has no idea what Justin is trying to do.
“Where are we going again?” asks Rooney, completely ignoring Justin.
“Southfield on ninth,” says Jesse, nodding in the general direction of the building.
“Ooh, fancy,” says Justin, sounding impressed.
It is indeed pretty nice, Jesse has to admit when they get within eyeshot. There’s even a doorman, who takes one look at them and says, “Ah, Max’s friends, right? Go on up.”
Jesse leads the way up to the twelfth floor and to Max’s apartment. He hesitates, his stomach jumping a little with nerves, then steels himself and knocks firmly.
Max answers the door and says, “Hello?” He looks slightly confused until he catches sight of Armie and Josh. “Hey, you guys are in my econ lecture,” he says, pointing.
“Hey,” Josh says, lifting his chin in greeting.
“I’m Jesse, Andrew invited us?” says Jesse a little nervously. “Did he tell you?”
Max smiles and says, “Right, Jesse. Nice to meet you.” He shakes Jesse’s hand politely. He has a surprisingly deep voice and Jesse can kind of see why Josh and Armie are so fascinated by him. “Make yourself comfortable.”
“Thank you,” Jesse says automatically and heads inside with Rooney as Armie and Josh converge upon the hapless Max. Justin has already made his way towards the ice chest and he’s drinking a beer, leaning up against the wall and trying to look cool.
“Do you see him?” asks Rooney, looking around the crowded apartment. “Wow, I’m surprised so many people are here.”
“I don’t,” Jesse starts, and then he spots Andrew across the room. His stomach clenches when he catches sight of the beautiful blonde girl standing close to Andrew. They’re laughing together at some private joke, their heads bent close together. As Jesse watches, Andrew reaches out and wraps his arm around the girl’s waist, pulling her in to press a kiss to her temple. Jesse breathes rapidly, feeling a little like he’s going to cry or vomit or something, and Rooney lays a pitying hand on his arm.
“Oh, Jesse,” she says softly, her eyes wide and regretful. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have – I’m sorry, Jesse.”
“It’s all right,” Jesse says thickly, swallowing hard. “I knew that there wasn’t much chance. It’s – I’m fine.”
He pulls away from her and heads over to where Justin is perusing the drinks selection. Jesse picks up an empty cup, finds the bottle of vodka, and pours himself a healthy quantity before adding enough cranberry juice to make it palatable. Justin eyes him warily, his eyebrows slightly raised.
“Dude,” he says. “Take it easy –”
Jesse takes a huge gulp of his drink and then gasps as it burns his throat. “Jesus,” he says involuntarily.
“Yeah, alcohol does that,” Justin says. “Are you all right?”
“I want you to get me as drunk as you can,” Jesse tells Justin and Justin’s face alights with maniacal glee.
“I thought you would never ask,” he says. He takes the cup out of Jesse’s hand and points to the couch. “Sit. I’ll bring you your drink.”
Jesse obediently curls up on the end of the couch and watches Andrew like a total creep. Andrew still has his arm around the girl’s waist and she’s resting her head on his shoulder. They look disgustingly good together.
Just as he’s beginning to sink into a brown study, Justin reappears with a cup in hand. He thrusts it out towards Jesse and says, “Drink, my friend. You will not regret it.”
“You really shouldn’t promise things like that,” says Jesse, but he obediently takes a sip. It’s surprisingly not bad and he says as much.
Justin looks slightly affronted as he says feelingly, “Hey, man. I am astonished by your lack of faith in me.”
“You have given me little cause to have faith in you,” says Jesse, rolling his eyes.
“That is really disheartening, Eisenberg,” says Justin. “Clearly, I have failed you and myself.”
"You have failed a lot of people, Justin," Jesse says. "Now excuse me, I'm going to go drown my sorrows." He turns away and starts drinking again.
He's halfway to drunk when Andrew’s girlfriend sits down next to Jesse, smiling brightly. “You’re Jesse, right? Aren’t you in Medieval Literature with Professor Hetz?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jesse says after an awkward pause where he just stares at her blankly. “Yeah, I am.”
“I thought I recognized you! It’s nice to finally meet you,” she says. “I’m Carey.” She holds out a hand and Jesse shakes it politely.
“Nice to meet you, too,” he replies automatically. He takes a sip of his drink and looks at her for a moment. “So, how did you and Andrew meet?”
Carey laughs cheerily and says, “We were in that awful introductory writing class together. He was the only other Brit in the class, so we got to chatting. He’s really lovely.”
Jesse doesn’t answer; he’s feeling a little sick to his stomach. Carey looks at him, her smile fading slightly. After a moment of tense silence, she says, “All right, well. It was nice meeting you.” She waves a little and leaves. Jesse lets out a sigh of relief and takes another sip of his drink.
An hour later, Jesse is curled on his corner of the couch, clutching Justin’s latest creation to his chest. Armie and Josh have finally succeeded in cornering Max who has to crane his neck to look up at them, though he doesn’t look too dissatisfied with the situation. Andrew keeps shooting Jesse these weird looks from where he’s sequestered with Carey. Jesse just wants to go home, but he promised Rooney he’d stay for at least two hours before trying to leave.
Andrew wanders over a few minutes later and asks, concerned, “Are you all right?”
Jesse smiles wryly and lifts his cup in a toast. “Just great, thanks.” There’s an awkward pause and then Jesse says hurriedly, “Carey seems really nice.”
“She is,” Andrew says, smiling fondly. Jesse’s stomach twists horribly and he looks down so he doesn’t have to look at the way Andrew lights up at Carey’s name. “Are you all right?”
“Me? I’m fine,” Jesse lies. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Really?” Andrew asks anxiously. “I thought that – well, you just look – um. Never mind, forget I said anything.”
Jesse nods slowly, his head feeling oddly loose on his neck. “Okay.” He waggles his fingers at Andrew and slumps back as Andrew leaves. Andrew looks back a couple of times, his brow furrowed and his mouth turned down unhappily.
He drifts a little after that, his thoughts wandering vaguely. Joe, a guy Jesse remembers meeting in freshman year, ends up taking up the other half of the couch with a blonde girl Jesse doesn’t recognize. Joe waves a little sheepishly when he spots Jesse, then goes back to sucking a hickey into the skin of his date’s neck.
Someone sits down next to Jesse and he looks over to see Emma from his freshman year writing class Her red hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail and she looks absolutely lovely, as usual. “Emma!” he says cheerfully. “You look pretty.”
“And you, Jesse, look very drunk,” she observes with a small smile. “Are you all right?”
“Doing all right,” Jesse says expansively. “Aside from how the guy I like is apparently straight. You know. That thing.”
“Honey,” Emma says, the corners of her mouth turning down. She scoots over closer to him and settles her arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry, babe. That sucks.”
“Yeah, well,” Jesse says, “I think even my mother has resigned herself to the fact that I’m going to be a crazy cat lady.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Emma says firmly. “If you’re still not married by the time you’re thirty-five, I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and come marry you, how about that?”
“That’s sweet,” Jesse says hopelessly. “You’re sweet.”
Emma leans her head on his shoulder and stretches her legs out in front of her. “So I’m assuming he’s here? The guy you like, I mean?”
“Do you think I’d come to a party if he wasn’t?” asks Jesse. He sighs and turns his head to look down at Emma. “What, exactly, is wrong with me?”
Emma rolls her eyes and says, “Jesse, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. So you like a straight guy. It happens. You’ll do better next time.”
Jesse groans and slumps down on the couch. “This is why I stay in my room with my cats.”
“Yes, dear,” Emma says, “but you really shouldn’t deprive the world of your sunshine.” She pats him on the thigh. “I, for one, would miss you.”
Jesse sighs heavily and drains his cup of the remaining alcohol. “You would be the only one,” he says fatalistically.
He dozes off sometime after that, his head lolling against the armrest. Emma pulls the cup out of his hand and wanders away. He waves his hand in thanks and closes his eyes, intending to rest for only a moment.
The next thing he knows, someone is gently shaking Jesse awake, saying, “Jesse. Jesse, wake up.”
He opens his eyes slowly, squinting against the light, and sees Andrew’s face hovering a few inches from his. He frowns and asks, “Am I still drunk?”
“Probably,” Andrew says. “Come on, big boy, let’s get you home.” Andrew helps Jesse sit up and rubs his back soothingly while Jesse pauses to catch his breath.
“Where is everyone?” asks Jesse, looking around the now almost completely empty apartment.
“Most of them went home,” Andrew says, though he looks slightly shifty as he says that. “Max is…engaged, so I told Rooney I’d get you home.”
“Max is probably with Armie and Josh,” Jesse says knowingly. He tries to tap the side of his nose and misses. “I think I should go home.”
“Are you all right?” asks Andrew anxiously. He squats down on the floor in front of Jesse and peers up into Jesse’s face. “Do you need to go to the health center?”
“I need to sleep,” Jesse says frankly. “Will you take me home?”
Andrew doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he stands and offers Jesse a hand up. Jesse accepts it and Andrew wraps his arm around Jesse’s waist to support him. “I don’t know where you live.”
Jesse flaps his free hand. “Not far. I’ll tell you.” He notes absently that Andrew smells really good and he says as much.
Andrew ducks his head and says, “Thanks.” He’s smiling and Jesse touches Andrew’s cheek with interest. Andrew looks up, startled.
“I like it when you smile,” Jesse says frankly.
Andrew’s smile grows impossibly wider and he says, “Wow, you really are pissed, aren’t you? Come on, we’ll get you home in one piece.” He leverages Jesse up, wrapping one arm around Jesse’s waist and draping Jesse’s arm over his shoulders.
“You’re really nice,” Jesse says hopelessly. “Why are you so nice?”
Andrew doesn’t answer, but his fingers tighten momentarily on Jesse’s waist. Jesse tries not to feel too victorious about that.
He directs Andrew back to his apartment, apologizing the whole way. “I’m so sorry you had to leave Carey and help me home,” Jesse says despondently. “I really don’t usually get drunk.”
“It’s all right,” Andrew assures him in a strangely fond tone. “I don’t mind.”
“Still,” Jesse stresses, “you shouldn’t have to do this.”
“Jesse. I don’t mind.” Andrew pulls Jesse a little closer and says, “I like you, all right?”
Jesse snorts and says, “Okay, whatever.” He raises his hand and points at his building. “That’s where I live.”
Andrew helps him up the steps and waits while Jesse fumbles for his keys. Jesse looks up, meaning to thank Andrew again, but finds Andrew staring at Jesse’s face with a strange expression on his face.
Jesse frowns and says, “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“No, I just – I’m – oh, bollocks,” Andrew says and then he leans down to kiss Jesse, his mouth soft but firm. Jesse freezes for a moment, unable to comprehend what’s happening. Then his reflexes kick in and he kisses back, opening his mouth to Andrew.
Andrew makes a soft, desperate noise and pushes Jesse back against the door, fisting his hands in the fabric of Jesse’s t-shirt. Jesse clutches at Andrew’s arms, joy blooming in his chest, and he is on the verge of breaking away and asking Andrew to come inside when Andrew abruptly pulls away.
“I’m sorry,” Andrew says, looking stricken. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.” For a moment, Jesse can’t work out what Andrew is apologizing for – and then he remembers Carey and his stomach drops to his feet. “Shit,” Andrew says in a horrified voice, backing away from Jesse. “Don’t hate me, please. I’m so sorry.”
“Andrew –” Jesse starts, wanting to reassure him somehow. Words fail him and he just falls silent, staring at the nakedly vulnerable expression on Andrew’s face.
“I’ll see you later,” Andrew says and he turns on his heel and flees. Jesse stares after him, heart aching.
“Fuck,” he says loudly and he bangs his head against the door to his building a couple of times before dragging himself inside.
Jesse has a terrific hangover in the morning, but he can (unfortunately) remember the previous evening in great detail. He rolls over and shoves his face into a pillow, hoping that he can just suffocate himself and have done with it. Karl pads over and settles himself on Jesse’s head, meowing softly.
“Yeah,” Jesse agrees, his voice slightly muffled.
Eventually he manages to drag himself out of bed and get dressed in clothes that aren’t too horrifically dirty. After debating with himself, he decides that his need for coffee outweighs his need to avoid Andrew, so he walks to the coffee shop, shuffling along in his sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt.
To his eternal gratitude, Andrew isn’t working. However, Max is, and he looks depressingly cheerful. He’s also moving a bit slowly and there’s a faint red mark on the side of his neck.
“Hey, Jesse,” he says, waving. “You look a little worse for wear.”
“Hey,” Jesse says. “I’m assuming you had a good night.” Max opens his mouth and Jesse holds up a hand to stop him. “I will tip you if you don’t tell me what happened. There are some things I don’t need to know about my friends.”
“Fine,” Max agrees easily. “What can I get you?”
Jesse wanders back to his apartment with his coffee in hand and spends the rest of the day reading on his sofa while Karl tries his best to scratch the hell out of the carpet.
On Monday, Jesse is sitting in his Medieval Literature lecture when Carey appears out of nowhere and flings herself into the empty seat to his left.
“Hi, Jesse!” she says cheerily, smiling at him. “Nice to see you again!”
Jesse stares at her blankly. “Um,” he says after a beat. “Hi.”
“This class always makes me fall asleep, so I thought I should sit next to someone,” she says as if it’s an explanation. “Poke me if I start nodding off, all right?”
“Sure?” Jesse says, now completely confused. “Sorry, aren’t you mad at me?”
Carey raises her eyebrows. “Mad at you? Why on earth would you think that? We only just met on Saturday.”
“Well, um, Andrew – didn’t he tell you?” Now Jesse is really confused. Andrew seems like the compulsively honest type; he would have thought that Andrew would run back and beg for forgiveness.
“Tell me what?” asks Carey. “I’m sorry, Jesse, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“He kissed me!” Jesse exclaims, louder than he means to. A couple of people turn to look and he blushes, ducking his head. He lowers his voice and says, “After the party! He kissed me!”
Carey now looks more confused than ever. “Why would I be upset that Andrew kissed you? He’s been in love with you for weeks, it’s about time he got the balls to do something about it.”
“What?” asks Jesse, now completely lost. “But I thought you two were, you know.” He waves vaguely at her. Carey stares at him blankly for a minute, then gets it.
“Oh! Seriously?” She laughs, a bit louder than is strictly called for. “No, no. We are definitely not dating. He’s had it bad for you for ages, even before he talked to you. I swear, you’re all he ever talks about.”
“Then why did he freak out after he kissed me?” demands Jesse. “Does he have some deep dark secret?”
“If he did, I’d know it,” Carey says firmly. “So, no. Why don’t you just, I don’t know, ask him?”
“You know,” Jesse accuses. He eyes her shifty expression. “I can tell, you know why he freaked out.”
“I do,” Carey admits, confirming Jesse’s suspicions. “But it isn’t my place to tell you.”
Jesse falls silent, digesting all of this. Then he asks hesitantly, “Really, he talks about me?”
Carey rolls her eyes and says, “All the time. ‘Oh, Jesse’s so smart, he’s so funny, he’s so sweet.’ If it wasn’t Andrew, it would be irritating.” She sweetly smiles at Jesse. “So don’t you dare break his heart, all right?”
“I have no intention of doing so,” Jesse says truthfully. He looks down at his notebook as Professor Hetz starts lecture and smiles helplessly. Carey elbows him knowingly and giggles when he refuses to look up at her smug, smug face.
So after lecture, Jesse heads over to the coffee shop, his backpack hitched up high on his back. Andrew is working, as Jesse had known he would be. He turns red when he sees Jesse and busies himself with wiping down the counter. Jesse bites his lip and says, “Hi, Andrew.”
“Jesse,” Andrew says. He doesn’t look up. “I’m, um, I’m sorry about Saturday. I took advantage of the situation and I, I really shouldn’t have.”
“Situation?” asks Jesse, confused.
Andrew finally looks up and his eyes are very shiny and very bright. “I’m sorry Max went off with your friends,” he blurts out. “I know you like him and you were drunk but I like you so –”
Jesse holds up his hand. “Wait,” he says slowly. “You think I like Max?”
“Don’t you?” asks Andrew plaintively.
“No!” says Jesse. “I like you.”
Andrew goes very still, his mouth slightly open. “Oh,” he says after a moment. “Then, um – can I kiss you?”
“I would be more upset if you didn’t,” says Jesse and he lets Andrew pull him halfway over the counter for a warm, intimate kiss. Andrew licks inside his mouth and Jesse sighs happily. Andrew lets him go and beams in delight.
"I want your number," he says decidedly. "And I'm going to take you out on a date this weekend."
"All right," Jesse says breathlessly. "I can do that. Let's do that." He programs his phone into Andrew's phone. When he hands it back, Andrew leans across the table and kisses him again. Jesse turns red as he hears the customers and other baristas cheer and whistle.
"Did you want coffee?" Andrew asks when they separate. "Because if you don't, I haven't taken my break yet."
"Take your break," Jesse says hurriedly. Andrew grins and takes off his apron before leading Jesse out back.