Actions

Work Header

To Love Me

Summary:

Hinata walked him to the beach. “Komaeda… I… Okay, I have to say this.”

it all made sense to him now. He would end it where it had started. It was selfish of him to assume that this would last. Who would want to be his friend after all? Especially someone as important as Hinata, who is loved by everyone. But he did not hear what he was expecting.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The sun shone into Komaeda’s room through the window as morning arrived, causing the young man to open his eyes slowly. He yawned as he rose up after a short while, putting his hand over his mouth.

“Another ordinary day, huh?...” He muttered to himself, getting out of his bed. It had been a while since he had experienced a luck-caused accident, in fact he had faced none ever since they had woken up from the program. He felt on edge just thinking about how the downfall of this peaceful life may be, or how it could affect the people that he had slowly been learning to live with.

After the killing game had ended, all of the remnants had moved into the real and now uninhabited Jabberwock Island, being allowed a second chance in life by the Future Foundation despite everything that they had done under Enoshima’s brainwashing. Komaeda’s memories of that time were spotted, both due to their impact on his life and due to his slowly deteriorating memory. All he could make out for certain was that the amount of crimes they committed was unforgivable… Despite all that, they stood there, rebuilding their lives.

It all felt like a dream to him. Just a little over four years he had been told that he would not see the next year, yet he most likely outlived the doctors that told him that with the amount of destruction and death that was caused by the tragedy. And for once in his life, someone cared about him. Someone wanted to get along with him. That was what felt the most surreal to Komaeda. Hinata was really far too kind for his own good. He bit his lip as a small tint of red flushed his cheeks. He really was hopeless.

While Komaeda admired every single one of his old classmates, he couldn’t really say he cared for them as people. In fact, some of them made him uncomfortable with their behaviour at times. He admired their talent and potential to create hope, not who they really were.

…It was different when it came to Hinata.

From the first day in the program, Komaeda could tell that he was different. He did not emit the same aura he sensed from others. He came to care for him as a person, even after things got rough between them when the killing game started. Even after he found out the things they did, a part of him still yearned for the short time they spent as something resembling being friends. He knew he could count on him, and it was proved when he was the one to wake him up. And how friendly and forgiving he was after everything, and how much he helped Komaeda,

Even if he was aware his feelings would not be returned, being able to call him a friend was good enough for Komaeda. He had long given up on his attempts to grab Hinata’s attention, thinking that most likely it was Hinata’s way of saying that they should stay friends. Yet his feelings never faded by one bit.

Deciding that it was enough thinking for the moment, Komaeda grabbed a comb from one of the three drawers under his desk and made his way to the bathroom mirror to make his hair a little bit more bearable to look at. Afterwards, he threw on his usual shirt and coat to make his way outside to the restaurant.

Souda seemed to have gotten up around the same time as him, also heading to the restaurant. He muttered an audible “Good morning!” however received no response.

That was another thing. Of course, he could not blame the others for their dislike of him in any way after what he had done in the program. Being unwanted wasn't anything Komaeda was unfamiliar with although it managed to get to his head once a while.

When he arrived at the restaurant, everybody was already present, sitting down at their plates next to one another. Hinata sat at the very end so that he could participate in conversation while Komaeda could sit next to him without anybody being bothered. He grabbed a single slice of toast with butter as always and sat down.

Hinata did not tell him good morning this time. He never missed a day before. Following the fact that he had hung out with Komaeda a little less for the last two weeks made Komaeda a little paranoid. Did he finally realize how much of his time was wasted talking to him? Perhaps everything going well for so long was for this moment.

“What’s up with Komaeda, man? Is he plotting something while staring at his food like that?” Souda whispered extremely loudly to Hinata, who gave him a disappointed glare until he went back to eating. Komaeda was okay with staying silent, it’s not like Souda would listen to him if he said he was just thinking anyway. He pretended to not have heard anything and finally bit his toast.

The restaurant was loud as it always was, mainly Koizumi scolding Saionji for making mean remarks and Nidai talking loudly about exercise to Owari. He could hear Sonia talk about mythology to Tanaka as well. It seemed everything was alright as he heard Hanamura make another uncomfortable comment.

Komaeda felt a little guilty about paying so much attention to how people around him acted, while Hinata thought he was observant and that it was a good quality.

His mind wandered a lot today as he came to the realization that he was about to finish his toast. He finished it with another bite and got up to leave the plate.

The kitchen was a little bigger than it was in the program, however Hanamura kept it clean. Despite how creepy he was, he was very insistent that where food was prepared stayed clean. Komaeda appreciated that as he knew how annoying keeping a frequently used kitchen clean could be. He had cleaned his own kitchen from a young age up until the tragedy.

The moment he stepped back outside to head back to his cottage, he felt an arm on his shoulder causing him to flinch. After his middle school accident, being touched out of sight did not leave a good impression on him. He was glad when he realized that it was Hinata, not that anybody else would be willing to touch him in a friendly gesture anyway.

“Sorry, I forgot…” Hinata spoke as Komaeda turned to him, looking into his eyes. “Can we talk?”

Komaeda’s usual smile faded, his mind going through many scenarios as to what Hinata might’ve wanted to talk about. With them hanging out less recently and him not telling him good morning today, Komaeda feared the worst. “...Sure?” he responded a bit anxiously, hoping that it was not noticeable.

 

Hinata walked him to the beach. “Komaeda… I… Okay, I have to say this.”

it all made sense to him now. He would end it where it had started. It was selfish of him to assume that this would last. Who would want to be his friend after all? Especially someone as important as Hinata, who is loved by everyone. But he did not hear what he was expecting.

I love you,” Hinata said after a while, looking directly at Komaeda.

Komaeda let out a breath he had no idea he had been holding. And then took a deep one. His mind rushed with thoughts. This could not end up good. Perhaps this was the peak his luck was waiting for, and the moment that he responds, all hell would be unleashed. Plus, he had previously not responded to any of his attempts. This had to be a dream.

So Komaeda stood there like an idiot, using his prosthetic hand to slightly pinch his flesh wrist. He did not wake up. His panic grew only stronger as he stared back at Hinata, who had a clearly anxious expression as well.

“No… y-you can’t…!” Komaeda managed to mutter, loud enough to be audible but not as loud as his usual speaking volume. He felt himself tremble, and it wasn’t the cool breeze. He felt as if he could not breathe at the moment.

“Huh?” Hinata looked confused.

“This is too lucky to… No, no, somebody will die…” Komaeda half-whispered, looking down and hugging himself. He tried to keep his face calm still, giving him that awkward smile. “Hinata-kun… I’ve liked you for so long, it’s impossible…!” He kept going on, causing Hinata to approach him closer with a concerned face.

“Komaeda, it’s going to be fine.” He tried to reassure him, putting a hand on his back. “I have luck too you know.” He seemed a bit calmer now.

“But I can’t risk it… I can’t risk losing you too, I can’t let that happen…” Komaeda quietly said. His mind was full of thoughts. He felt extremely conflicted. “But why do you sound so relieved?” he questioned, looking into his eyes once again.

“I… wasn’t really sure if you liked me back or not.” Hinata sounded awkward. Komaeda let out a small ‘oh’. He wanted to laugh at the chances of it.

“Maybe you are dense.” Komaeda chuckled, the mood lightening up a bit. He was a little more calm now, but still extremely scared.

“Your luck is artificial, how can I ever be sure that it can go against mine…?” He switched the topic back to what it was, still hugging yourself.

Hinata smiled. “You’ve had no major accident since we woke up. I believe that’s enough proof.”

Komaeda wanted to believe him. He really did. But if there was one thing his luck has taught him, it was that he was helpless against its ruthless nature. Everytime that he had believed things would be okay, they only got worse. He did not even have to speak a word, Hinata truly understood him.

“I know what you’re thinking,” He started. “ ‘Nothing has changed ever up until this point, why would it change all of a sudden?’, am I correct?” he spoke in the tone he did in class trials, brimming with hope as he debunked arguments. Komaeda still remembers his surprise as to how someone could shine with so much hope even though he was originally completely talentless. “But a lot has changed. You have, and I have too. While …Izuru’s… luck is completely artifical… It has prevented any accidents so far. So please, trust me.” He seemed to be finished. “...I completely respect your choice if you choose to reject me but don’t let fear be your reason.” He declared.

Komaeda stood there in silence and thought for a while. As much as a part of him screamed at him to stay away, his heart had made up its mind.

He smiled warmly at Hinata, finally letting go of his arms. Even if his luck messed everything up… He would be grateful to get the chance even if for a short while. He wanted to try. He hugged Hinata tightly, although most of their previous hugs were initiated by Hinata to comfort Komaeda. He didn’t speak a word, but Hinata hugged him back.

“I… would love to be in a relationship with you.” Komaeda felt his cheeks redden as he finished his sentence.

He would make sure to cherish every second of this.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed it! If there's any suggestions for improvement, please comment them! I haven't written for a while