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Mingyu has a crush on Chan. Literally everyone knows about it so there’s no point in him pretending that he doesn’t. It’s the elephant in the room. Well, not the elephant in the room, but the chimpanzee in the room, because Mingyu doesn’t shut up about it. Every single one of his friends has heard Mingyu wax lyrical about how beautiful Chan’s smile is, or how amazing his laugh is, or how cute his hands are, or how nice his new haircut it, (“Although, Minghao, he looks amazing with every haircut”). They’ve watched him drool over videos of Chan dancing and watched him stutter his way through conversations on days where Chan decides to wear shorts. Mingyu wears his heart on his sleeve and he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it.
Too bad Chan’s blind to it.
When Chan sits down at their group’s lunch spot at midday, Mingyu stares at him and sighs. Chan’s wearing an oversized white t-shirt and a chain necklace. This is one of the outfits that makes Mingyu crazy, and Seokmin is very aware of it. He elbows Mingyu with a giggle and Mingyu frantically shushes him. Chan doesn’t notice.
“I am so over college,” Chan says, opening the pack of sushi he had just purchased. “I can’t wait for the holidays.”
“How do you think I feel,” Jeonghan says. “Senior-itis is kicking my ass.”
“Okay, old man,” Chan replies. “Oh crap, they didn’t give me any wasabi. What’s the point of sushi without wasabi? I’ll have to go back and get some.”
“No!” Mingyu says. “I can go get it for you.”
“No,” Chan looks confused. “You don’t have to do that. I can go.”
“It’s okay, I was going to go to the food court anyway, I need…” Mingyu struggles to come up with a lie, “… an iced tea.”
“Oh? Really?” Chan asks. Mingyu nods vigorously. “Thanks, Mingyu.”
Mingyu lights up, a massive smile on his face. “No worries!” Mingyu tries to extract himself from the bench; he’s sitting in the middle and there’s a table in front of him so it’s no easy feat. He almost trips over but luckily he saves himself and is able to speed walk away without drawing too much attention to himself.
Mingyu returns five minute later with the wasabi.
“Here you go,” he says to Chan, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving. It’s obvious that he ran at least part of the way.
“Thank you,” Chan says, taking the packet from Mingyu’s hand. “Where’s your iced tea?”
“Oh,” Mingyu says, looking panicked. “I must’ve forgotten to buy it. That’s okay, I’ll buy it before class.”
“Okay,” Chan says. “Thanks again,” and then he turns back to his conversation with Soonyoung.
Mingyu sits down with a satisfied look on his face and hums as he bites into his food. Minghao rolls his eyes at him, but Mingyu doesn’t seem to care.
Not long after, Minghao and Mingyu leave for their next class.
“You’re pathetic, you know,” Minghao says.
“No, I’m not! I was going to the food court anyway! It was totally normal for me to get him wasabi.”
“We both know that’s a lie. You didn’t need iced tea. You just wanted to do something for him.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re so whipped, dude,” Minghao says, with a pat on the arm.
“I know. But he’s so cute, I can’t help it.”
“Are you ever gonna tell him?” Minghao asks. He’s asked Mingyu this same question hundreds of times before, and the answer never changes.
“No. He clearly doesn’t like me. And I’d like to keep my dignity intact.”
“Mingyu.” Minghao says seriously. “Your dignity was damaged a long time ago. Your dignity was damaged today by that little display. I saw how you almost faceplanted tripping over that bench.”
“Yeah, but Chan doesn’t know that.”
“Yet,” Minghao says pointedly.
“Exactly.”
---
That Friday, Jeonghan and Joshua host a small party at their apartment. Chan attends, of course. He’ll take any excuse to get drunk, especially these days.
He arrives with Soonyoung, both of them still in their sweatpants and hoodies from dance practice and they flop on the floor together with big sigh. They’re the last two to arrive, and it seems like everyone is already slightly drunk.
Mingyu’s back straightens up almost automatically when he sees Chan. He wants to say something, but he’s interrupted by Jeonghan coming into the room and pushing beers into Chan and Soonyoung’s hands. They sit up and thank him.
“Finally, my two favourite idiots are here.” Jeonghan says. Soonyoung opens his mouth to defend himself but Jeonghan interrupts. “We can finally play spin the bottle.”
“What?” Soonyoung asks. Everyone else is moving to form a circle. Chan isn’t sure how Jeonghan convinced everyone to do this, but it seems like it’s already the accepted plan for the night.
“You’ve heard of it, right?” Jeonghan asks.
“Of course, but…” Soonyoung looks up at where Wonwoo is sitting on the couch with an unhappy expression on his face. “I’m not playing. And Wonwoo isn’t playing either. I’ll be really sad if he kisses anyone that isn’t me.” He stands up and goes to sit next to Wonwoo on the couch, who immediately wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulder and loses his frown.
“Fine,” Jeonghan says with a huff. “I guess those are the rules then.”
“Then Chan shouldn’t play either,” Seungcheol pipes up. “Someone here will also be really sad if they see him kiss anyone.”
“What?” Chan says. “Who? I don’t have a boyfriend.” He looks around the room with his brow furrowed. “Is my mum here? Because I don’t think she’d really mind, I’m an adult-”
“Never mind, Chan,” Seungkwan says. “Seungcheol is just being an idiot. Ignore him.”
Mingyu also decides not to play. He doesn’t give a reason, and no one asks for one.
One part of Mingyu kind of wants to play; to try and make Chan jealous. But he knows that Chan won’t react at all, and that’ll just make him feel worse.
Chan is picked to kiss Jihoon and it’s excruciating to watch, even though they both fake gag afterwards. Mingyu knows he has no claim over Chan, absolutely none at all, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel awful. The irrational part of his brain wants to punch Jihoon in the face, even though he knows Jihoon could probably beat him in a fight.
And then, watching Chan kiss Seungkwan, his best friend, hurts even more. Because they don’t fake gag, they don’t immediately shuffle away from each other; they stay there and give each other bright smiles after they’re done. Mingyu knows that Chan and Seungkwan are best friends, and that they have this weird friendly rivalry that could be seen as sexual tension if you look at it from a different angle. Mingyu would be willing to bet that if Chan were going to date anyone, it would be Seungkwan. He wants to punch Seungkwan in the face too. He’s pretty certain he could win that fight.
Mingyu glances over and catches sight of Vernon’s face. He’s got a thunderous expression and he is staring at his hand where it’s clenched around his glass. Ah, Mingyu thinks. At least he isn’t alone here.
When the game is over, Mingyu awkwardly leaves the room. He doesn’t want anyone to joke about how he’s feeling or make him feel awful for not taking his chance at possibly kissing Chan. Unfortunately Jihoon has the same idea.
“Are you okay, dude?” Jihoon asks, when he sees Mingyu leaning against the cabinet next to the fridge.
“Peachy,” Mingyu mutters.
“Mingyu, you should just tell him. Then at least you’d know.”
“I do know, Jihoon. I don’t need him to properly reject me to know where I stand.” He moves so that he can open the fridge and grab another drink.
“I’m just saying,” Jihoon says. “Maybe if you hear it come out of his mouth, you would be able to move on.”
“Who says I want to move on?”
“Mingyu,” Jihoon says with a disapproving tone. Mingyu knows what he’s going to say before he says it. “This isn’t healthy.”
“I know,” Mingyu whines. “Let me live.”
Jihoon pats him on the shoulder. “I’m always here if you want to talk, you know that right.”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
---
Towards the end of the semester, the dance department holds an optional concert for the students to show off their performances before their final critiques. All students are able to come and watch without having to pay for a ticket.
Chan had let all of his friends know about his performance time, but he didn’t really expect them to come. Apart from Seungkwan and Vernon, whom he had threatened with pain of death if they didn’t make it.
So, when Chan comes out on stage and looks into the audience, he is very surprised to see Mingyu sitting there beside Seungkwan and Vernon. Mingyu hadn’t told him that he was coming, although Chan had invited him along with the others. They wave at him; Seungkwan and Vernon do it as if they’re trying to draw as much attention to themselves as possible, but Mingyu does it shyly.
He smiles at them and then gets in place to start his solo.
The performance goes well, and Chan walks off stage feeling incredibly proud of himself. The dance students are allowed to leave as soon as they’ve finished performing so Chan goes to the audience to greet his friends.
“Thank you so much for coming!” he says when he finds them.
“You were amazing!” Seungkwan whisper-cheers while wrapping him in a big hug.
“That was so good, dude,” Vernon says.
Seungkwan lets go and Chan steps away and straightens his shirt. “Thanks for coming guys. Mingyu, I didn’t know you would be here too.”
Mingyu looks like he’s been put on the spot, and he clears his throat. “Well, I knew how hard you’ve been working and so I wanted to see the finished product.”
“And… what did you think?” Chan goads.
“You were,” Mingyu pauses awkwardly. “Good. You were really good.”
“Thanks, Mingyu,” Chan says while smiling. “It really means a lot that you came.” He looks at Vernon and Seungkwan. “And you guys too, of course. Thank you so much.”
Seungkwan wraps his arm around Chan’s shoulders. “You were so great, that we’re going to treat you to dinner. Where do you want to go?”
Chan names his chosen restaurant and then turns to Mingyu. “Are you coming too?”
Mingyu looks flustered and avoids looking at Chan’s face. “Yeah, sure, I guess,” he finally says.
“Cool. I just have to grab my stuff and then we can go.” As Chan walks away, he sees Seungkwan swat at Mingyu’s shoulder out of the corner of his eye. Weird.
Dinner is nice, except for the part where Seungkwan feeds Vernon his fries. That’s strange. Chan tries to make eye contact with Mingyu to see if he agrees, but Mingyu avoids eye-contact.
That’s also strange, but Chan decides to shake it off.
They all walk home together, and when Vernon and Seungkwan have to break off in a different direction to go to their neighbourhood, that leaves Chan and Mingyu. They live close to each other, on the same road by the university. They begin walking home together and make awkward small talk. It’s weird; talking to Mingyu is usually a lot easier than this.
When they reach Mingyu’s apartment building, Chan turns to him. “Thanks again for coming tonight. I really didn’t expect anyone to come, other than Seungkwan and Vernon, and I forced them. So, it really does mean a lot to me.”
“Oh,” Mingyu squeaks out. “Anytime.”
Chan smiles. “See you later then,” and he heads off down the street.
He texts Seungkwan when he gets home.
Chan: Was Mingyu really weird today or was that just me?
Seungkwan: He’s always like that, what do you mean???
Chan: Don’t worry.
---
Chan is in the thick of exam season, pulling all-nighters and consuming an amount of energy drinks that would shock even Vernon, when he gets a knock on the door. He opens it to Mingyu, who’s holding a bag of something.
“Hi Mingyu, what are you doing here?”
“This is for you,” Mingyu says, holding the bag out to Chan.
Chan takes it and peers into it. “What is it?”
“It’s food. There’s a sticky note on each one saying how long to microwave it for. I know you work really hard during exam season, and I wanted to make sure you’re eating properly.”
“Thank you, Mingyu. That’s really nice of you. Do you want to come in?”
“No, no, I’m alright. I have to go.”
“Oh, okay. Well, thanks again.”
“No problem.” Mingyu smiles. He turns to leave but swivels back before he can start walking. “Study hard, but not too hard,” he says.
Chan smiles. “You too, see you,” he says as he shuts the door.
Chan brings the bag inside and starts unloading the containers into the fridge.
Then he opens up the group chat that he shares with Seungkwan and Vernon.
Chan: Did Mingyu bring you guys food too?
Vernon: No
Seungkwan: 💀 💀 💀
Seungkwan: No
Weird. Mingyu must not have gotten to their apartments yet. He turns back to his history revision.
---
After exams are over, Vernon and Seungkwan start dating. It’s something that Chan saw coming, they’ve both been in love with each other for ages, but he has to be honest, he thought it would take at least another six months or so for them to work it out.
He’s happy for them, though. They’re cute and obviously very content with each other. And they don’t treat him like a third wheel, keeping their PDA to a minimum when they’re around him.
This doesn’t stop Chan from complaining about it though.
It’s another night of all their friends hanging out at Jeonghan and Joshua’s apartment. They’re drinking, like usual, and everyone is pleasantly tipsy. Seungkwan is cuddled up to Vernon on the couch and when Chan sees them, he flops over on the floor dramatically.
“My two best friends,” he says with a dramatic sigh. “They have betrayed me by loving each other more than they love me.”
Seungkwan leans out to poke him with his toe. “That’s not true dummy. We love you.”
Chan ignores him. “I am forever alone. Destined to be a third wheel until the end of my days.”
“No, you won’t Channie,” Seungkwan says. “Someone will date you. One day.”
Chan holds his head up so he can properly glare at Seungkwan.
“Yeah,” Jeonghan says. “I can think of someone right now who would date you.”
“What? Who?” Chan says, sitting up fully. “You?” He thinks for a second. “Sorry, Jeonghan. You’re not my type. I need someone with muscles. And they have to be really nice to me.”
Mingyu coughs into his drink, almost spitting some of it out. It shocks Chan, and he turns to look. It seems that the source of Mingyu’s coughing was a large whack to the arm from Soonyoung.
“Soonyoung, be nice to Mingyu. He’s delicate,” Chan says. He then turns back to Jeonghan and smiles at him. “Thanks for the offer though Jeonghan. It’s very flattering.”
Jeonghan doesn’t even bother refuting him. He just rolls his eyes.
The conversation moves on, and Chan is laughing along, sipping his drink. He laughs so hard he almost topples over but manages to save himself just in time.
“Oh no,” he says, pouting. “I drank too much.”
“I’ll get you some water, Chan,” Mingyu says, standing up quickly.
“Oh.” Chan frowns up at Mingyu. “Thank you.”
When Mingyu comes out he’s holding a small bowl of chips too. “To soak up the alcohol in your stomach.”
“You’re the best, Mingyu,” Chan says when he gets passed the bowl.
Mingyu smiles at him but doesn’t respond.
---
“Mingyu, why do you keep doing this?” Minghao asks when they’re walking home.
“Doing what?”
“Why do you keep doing all this stuff for Chan. Bringing him food, buying his presents, looking after him, if you think he doesn’t like you back.”
“I don’t just think he doesn’t like me back,” Mingyu responds. “I know he doesn’t.”
“Then why do you keep doing it?”
Mingyu sighs. “It’s embarrassing,” he whines, covering his face.
“Mingyu. Come on,” Minghao says.
“You have to promise not to judge me.”
“I promise.”
Mingyu heaves another dramatic sigh. “I suppose that I’m trying to woo him. Like, show him what a good boyfriend I could be. I know it’s pathetic.”
“Mingyu,” Minghao says softly. “I don’t think it’s pathetic at all. I think it’s very sweet. He’s very lucky that he has you to care so much about him, and, frankly, he’s stupid for not realising how much you like him.”
“He’s not stupid,” Mingyu says. “Chan’s very smart.”
“Oh my God, you really are whipped,” Minghao says.
---
On the 15th of February, a Wednesday, Chan stumbles over a bouquet of flowers on his front doorstep as he’s leaving for the day. They’re pretty and wrapped in pink tissue paper.
He doesn’t know who they’re for, but he brings them inside anyway, ready to put in a vase so they don’t die, and then he sees the card. It doesn’t say much, just:
For Chan
xx -M
Chan smiles. His mum had already given him a birthday present, but she had said there was something else coming and to be patient. This must be it.
He tucks the card in his wallet and makes a mental note to thank her next time he speaks to her.
When Chan comes home after class that evening, Wonwoo is sitting on the couch, studying.
“How did you like the flowers?” Wonwoo asks once Chan has finished taking off his shoes.
“They’re really pretty, it was so nice of my mum to get them for me.” Wonwoo frowns slightly. “Thank you for reminding me, I have to text her to thank her,” Chan says.
“Wait, Chan,” Wonwoo says, getting up hurriedly. “What makes you think your mum got them for you.”
“It was my birthday the other day, and she said she had something else to give me, and it literally says ‘xx mum’ on the card.”
“Do you not think it might have something to do with Valentine’s Day?”
“Why would my mum get me flowers for Valentine’s Day?” Chan says as he taps around on his phone.
Wonwoo looks stressed now. “Okay, Chan, wait.” He puts his hands over Chan’s and lowers his phone. “Why don’t you thank her next time you see her in person. It might mean more to her.”
“Really?” Chan’s frowning.
“Yeah, I think so. Anyway, do you wanna get takeaways tonight?”
“If you’re paying.”
Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I’ll pay.”
When Chan goes to his room, Wonwoo pulls out his phone to text Mingyu.
Wonwoo: He thinks they’re from his mum
Mingyu: Oh
Mingyu: Right
---
“Mingyu,” Seungkwan says one day while they’re studying. “You have to stop doing this to yourself. You’re breaking your own heart. You need to get over Chan.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Mingyu replies.
“Why don’t you just confess to him, and then see if he feels the same. If he doesn’t then you can give up on all of this and move on. It isn’t good for you.”
“I can’t confess to him when he obviously doesn’t like me back. He clearly knows I like him, and he’s just trying to save my feelings. I’ve been so obvious about it. I’ll only confess to him if I think there’s a chance of him liking me back.”
“It’s not about him liking you back, it’s about confessing to him so you can get closure and start to move on.” Mingyu wants to cry. Why does everyone keep saying that to him!
“Not even you think that he likes me back,” Mingyu says, slumping down in his seat. “I really am pathetic, aren’t I?”
“You’re not pathetic, Mingyu. Everyone has had an unrequited crush. But this has been going on for way too long.”
“I’m not going to confess until I feel like he’ll return my feelings.”
“I think that you missed the point of what I was trying to say.” Seungkwan sighs.
“Don’t worry about me, Seungkwan. I’ll be fine.”
Seungkwan snorts but doesn’t say anything further.
---
Since Vernon and Seungkwan started dating, one of Chan’s favourite topics of conversation is to complain about it. It’s usually overblown, and the couple realise it’s a joke, but Chan is very insistent with it.
“You guys are so gross,” Chan says, after seeing Seungkwan kiss Vernon on the cheek as a thank you for getting him a drink. “Why can’t I be gross with someone?”
Chan lays backwards on the floor and Seungkwan and Vernon glance at each other.
“This is what happens when I spend all of my time in the dance building. I’m destined to be alone forever.”
“Soonyoung has a boyfriend, Chan, so that isn’t true,” Vernon says.
“Then why has no one asked me out on a date?” Chan whines. “I just want to go on a date.”
“Chan,” Seungkwan says seriously. “You could go on a date very easily if you would just open your eyes.”
Chan sits up. “What?”
Vernon slaps Seungkwan’s arm, but Seungkwan ignores him. “Chan. Someone you know well has a massive and very obvious crush on you and has been trying to show you for ages. But you’ve been ignoring him so much that he thinks you know about it and are purposely ignoring him. He would go out on a date with you in a heartbeat.”
“What?” Chan says, looking from Vernon to Seungkwan wildly. “Who is it?”
“Holy shit,” Seungkwan groans. “Do I have to spoon feed everything to you? Use your brain. Who is always offering to do things for you? Who always compliments you? Who laughs at all your stupid jokes? Who was the only person other than us to come to your dance showcase?”
Chan’s eyes are wide, and he takes a couple of seconds to process everything.
“Mingyu likes me?”
“Yes, you idiot. And, frankly, you’ve been treating him really cruelly.”
Chan puts his head in his hands. “I didn’t mean to. I seriously had no idea.”
Seungkwan sighs. “We know that, Chan. I’m just saying that people do like you. People want to ask you out. So, you can stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
Chan stands up “I need to go home,” he says. He needs to think about this in some peace and quiet. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“What was that for?” Vernon says when Chan leaves.
“I’m so sick of this,” Seungkwan replies. “Someone needs to take action.”
“Mingyu’s gonna be pissed.”
“I really don’t care.”
---
Chan spends the next two weeks feeling awful. He analyses every interaction he and Mingyu have had in the last year. He thinks about every time that Mingyu was the only one to laugh at one of his jokes, the times that he’s offered to get Chan a drink even when Chan was perfectly capable of getting it himself. He thinks about the way Mingyu is always smiling when he looks at him.
Chan has been so blind. He couldn’t see love when it was right in front of him. He totally understands why Seungkwan called him cruel.
Those flowers were from Mingyu, weren’t they? Not his mum.
And when Mingyu brought him food during exams, did he bring food to anyone else? Chan is starting to believe that he didn’t.
It makes him blush to think about, to be honest. He had spent a long time feeling like people just didn’t like him in that way, insecure that he wasn’t built for a romantic relationship. But to have someone there who so openly cares for him makes him feel so special. A fire starts to burn in the centre of his stomach.
Throughout the day he thinks of other cute things that Mingyu has done for him, and he smiles a giddy smile to himself every time. He must look a little crazy, but he doesn’t care.
Chan sees Mingyu the next weekend. Everyone’s there, as usual. He doesn’t know what to do. Chan isn’t ready to face up to this, but everything has fundamentally shifted. He can’t be normal anymore.
When he walks into the living room, Mingyu greets him. “Hey Chan,” he says.
“Hey Mingyu,” Chan replies. Did Mingyu greet everyone personally? Or just Chan?
Chan cracks a joke that makes Seungkwan groan, but Mingyu giggles at it. Was his joke actually funny? Would other people have laughed if they had heard it?
Chan heads outside to sit on the balcony with Joshua and Wonwoo and Mingyu offers him his jacket because Chan forgot his. Would Mingyu have offered anyone else his jacket?
Chan wants to believe that the answer to all these questions is no, but that feels a little self-centred. But, regardless, Mingyu likes him. Mingyu likes him and is so kind to him. Every act of kindness makes the fire grow bigger.
---
By Wednesday Chan has almost made a decision. He goes over to Seungkwan’s apartment to discuss it and hopefully get an objective opinion.
When he knocks on the door, Vernon opens up which makes Chan want to roll his eyes. But he forces himself not to and instead think that it’s sweet. Jealousy is not a good look.
“He’s so sweet to me,” Chan says when they’re all gathered in the living room. “I can’t believe I never noticed before.”
“You have your head in the clouds,” Vernon says. Seungkwan nods in agreement.
“I’m so unobservant,” Chan says. He’s quiet for a couple of seconds. “Was I really that cruel to him?”
Seungkwan sighs. “No, you weren’t. You didn’t know. I just said that because I was frustrated.”
“Right.” Chan groans.
“Why are you acting like this is the end of the world? You have a sweet, kind guy pining after you. He can cook, he would take good care of you, lord knows you need that, and he’s objectively one of the hottest guys in the country.”
“Hey!” Vernon protests.
“Well, I’m right. You can’t deny it.”
Vernon sighs but acquiesces.
“Mingyu isn’t mad at you,” Seungkwan continues. “I would say he would forgive you in a second, but there is nothing to forgive.”
“What should I do?” Chan asks.
“Well, what do you want out of this? Do you want the ego boost that you actually are desirable, and then let your friendship with Mingyu go back to normal? Or do you want to actually date him? Mingyu would be fine with both, more fine with one than the other. But you have to decide.”
Chan thinks. He thinks for a while. Something about the idea of telling Mingyu ‘thank you but no thank you’ feels like a stake has been stabbed through his heart. He doesn’t want to think about Mingyu being sad. Mingyu is the nicest guy ever, he should be happy all the time.
And Chan doesn’t want to be sad either.
Rejecting Mingyu would make him sad.
Chan knows what he has to do.
He stands up suddenly. “I have to go,” he says, and rushes out of the room. Seungkwan is yelling something behind him, but Chan can’t hear him.
Chan races downstairs and onto the street. He whips his head wildly from side to side trying to work out which way to go. He works it out and starts sprinting.
Unfortunately, he is only able to sprint for so long before his lungs start to burn and he has to slow to a jog. While running down the street, he passes a florist that’s still open. He’s lucky; it’s almost 7PM, most shops are closed.
He buys a bunch of pretty yellow and blue flowers and starts running again.
When Mingyu’s building enters his line of sight he starts sprinting again. When he gets inside, he doesn’t even bother waiting for the elevator and uses the stairs instead.
When he gets to Mingyu’s front door he realises that he really hadn’t thought this through. He has to bend over and pant with his hands resting on his knees.
Eventually he gets his breath back enough to be able to knock. He keeps the flowers tucked behind his back.
It’s Seokmin who opens the door. “Chan?” he questions.
“Is Mingyu here?” Chan asks.
“He is,” Seokmin says with a questioning tone. “Why?”
“Can I talk to him?”
“Sure, come on in.” The questioning tone is still being used.
“No, I want to stay here. Could you bring him please.” Chan sucks in a deep breath trying to steady his shaking voice.
Seokmin gives him a weird look but goes to get him anyway.
When Mingyu comes to the door he also looks very confused. “What are you doing here?” he asks.
Chan wants to answer, but Seokmin is still lingering in the hallway, so he gives him a look. Thankfully Seokmin picks up on it and he goes into his room and closes the door.
“Mingyu,” he says after taking a deep breath. “I have recently become aware that I am a massive idiot. Apparently, you have feelings for me, and I didn’t even notice.” Mingyu opens his mouth to say something, but Chan needs to get this all out in one go or he might chicken out. “I’m sorry. But I have also realised that I have feelings for you too.” Chan pulls the flowers out from behind his back. “I don’t think my feelings are as strong as yours, so I’m sorry for that too. But I think you are someone that I could fall in love with very easily. So, Mingyu, would you like to go on a date with me?”
Mingyu stares at him slack-jawed. Chan’s heart starts to beat even faster.
“Really?” is what Mingyu finally comes out with in a quiet voice.
“Really what?” Chan asks. There are many parts of his little announcement that could be questioned.
“Do you really like me back?”
Chan’s heart shatters. Mingyu’s voice is so small and unsure. Chan can’t believe that he made him feel like this.
“I really really do,” Chan says. “Please let me take you out and prove it to you.” He holds the flowers out again encouraging Mingyu to take them. Mingyu does. Chan beams.
“I’ll text you,” Chan says.
“Okay,” Mingyu says, smiling at him.
“Have a good night, Mingyu.”
“You, too.”
Chan starts walking back down the corridor. He hears Mingyu close the door behind him. It is then that he gives himself permission to collapse against the wall. He presses his hand against his racing heart and takes a deep breath.
When he feels like he’s recovered enough, he stands up and goes home.
---
Chan and Mingyu arrange their first date for that Wednesday. Chan proposed having it so soon because he wanted to prove to Mingyu that he was serious about him.
He keeps it casual and takes Mingyu to a sushi place that he knows Mingyu loves. It’s a bit pricier than either of them can justify on a normal day, but it’s got a relaxed vibe and they don’t have to get too dressed up.
That doesn’t stop Chan from freaking out about his outfit though. He doesn’t want to wear what he usually wears; he wants to do something special, show Mingyu that’s he’s special.
He settles on a pair of jeans that are less baggy than his usual pair, and a green woollen sweater that he saves for special occasions. He thinks he looks good. He hopes Mingyu thinks so too.
Chan picks Mingyu up. Neither of them have cars, so they were going to have to walk anyway, but Chan still insists on meeting Mingyu at his front door.
When Chan knocks, Mingyu is the one to come to the door this time. He opens up with a shy smile. Chan’s heart does a small flip in his chest. He can’t believe he’d never noticed how cute Mingyu is before.
“How are you?” Chan asks as Mingyu closes the door behind himself.
“I’m good, what about you?” Mingyu responds.
“I’m excited.” Chan looks over at Mingyu with a big smile. He can tell Mingyu’s nervous, so he’s trying to calm him down. To be fair, Chan is very nervous too, but Mingyu is being a lot more obvious about it. “You look really nice, by the way.”
“Thank you,” Mingyu says. He smiles at Chan. “You do too.”
As they walk to the restaurant, and take their seats inside, they get to chatting about their weeks, and Chan can tell that Mingyu is starting to relax. Chan realises that he hasn’t talked to Mingyu that much one on one. He’s a lot more gentle in this sort of context, less likely to bolster himself with jokes and quips. Chan likes it. He’s always been one to appreciate sincerity so seeing this new side of Mingyu is really nice.
Mingyu tells him about his photography, which is something that Chan was always vaguely aware he did as a hobby, but he never knew that much about it.
“I could take photos of you, if you wanted,” Mingyu says. “Maybe when you’re dancing. I think they could come out really nicely.”
“Really?” Chan asks.
“Of course. Just let me know a good time and I’ll come over to the studio.”
Chan is hit with a sudden bout of nerves at the idea of Mingyu watching him dance. It seems like an oddly intimate thing; to invite someone who isn’t in the team to come watch his dance in its unfinished state. But a part of him feels okay with it, like it’s something he wants Mingyu to see.
“Okay,” Chan says, ducking his head.
The date goes well. Mingyu is sweet and attentive and a good listener. And he’s charming in his own particular way, Chan thinks he spends over half the time blushing.
Mingyu offers to pay, but Chan insists that he wants to, and Mingyu’s red ears and the goofy smile on his face is worth the price ten times over. Chan wants to make him look like that permanently.
---
Mingyu beats him to the second date. He invites Chan ice skating. Chan’s immediate reaction is that it’s a bad idea, but he doesn’t want to say no because Mingyu seems so excited about it.
So, he puts on his warmest coat and waterproof gloves and meets Mingyu at the ice rink.
Chan has never been ice skating before, but he isn’t that bad at it. He’s got good balance and control of his limbs from years of dancing, so he’s easily able to hobble along without falling.
It turns out that Mingyu has never been ice skating either. But he doesn’t possess Chan’s balance skills, and he has much longer limbs, as well as a natural clumsiness that he never grew out of. After watching Mingyu take fall after fall for almost 15 minutes straight, Chan suggests they go to the rink café instead to warm up.
Mingyu, still sitting on the ice, looks up at Chan with a heartbroken expression. “I wanted to do something romantic with you.”
Chan giggles. “It’s okay, Mingyu.”
“I’ll keep trying!”
“Come on,” Chan says holding out a hand to help him stand. “We can share a slice of cake. That’s romantic, right?”
Mingyu nods and hauls himself up. “My butt’s wet,” he says.
“That’s why you don’t sit on the ice, dummy,” Chan says. He keeps a hold of Mingyu’s hand as they inch towards the exit.
This should’ve turned Chan’s feelings towards Mingyu off. Watching his long legs sprawled across the ice was objectively un-sexy.
But Chan just feels endeared, and he wants to take his gloves off and rub Mingyu’s cheeks until they start to warm up.
---
They go out to a movie for their third date. Chan has made up his mind to kiss Mingyu before they go home.
Mingyu holds his hand through the entire thing. Chan’s hand starts to get sweaty, but Mingyu doesn’t seem to notice, either that or he doesn’t mind, so Chan leaves it. It makes eating his popcorn a bit difficult, but Chan can deal with it.
They get ice cream afterwards. Chan gets some on his face and when Mingyu reaches over to wipe it off Chan gets so flustered that he thinks he might choke.
He kisses Mingyu outside the ice cream parlour. He has to pull him down so they can actually reach each other. It’s not very smooth, but Mingyu wraps a strong arm around Chan’s waist, so Chan forgets all about that.
Mingyu is so beautiful, Chan thinks when they pull away from each other. He’d always known that Mingyu was good looking but seeing the soft blush on his cheeks and the flustered expression on his face, and how intently he listened to Chan whenever they talked, and how he always went out of his way to treat Chan was the utmost kindness, Chan was struck with it more deeply. Mingyu is beautiful. Chan starts to fall a little bit in love.
It feels so easy.
---
“How’s it going with Mingyu,” Seungkwan asks when they hang out next.
“Good.” Chan tries to keep his answer short.
“He’s blushing!” Seungkwan exclaims to Vernon. “So, is it going really well then?”
“It is.” Seungkwan keeps staring at him expectantly, so Chan knows that his short answers won’t suffice. “He’s very sweet.”
“Cuuuuute,” Seungkwan draws out. He reaches out and squeezes Chan’s cheeks in the way he knows Chan hates. “Chan’s in loooove.”
“I am not!” Chan almost screeches.
“Very defensive Chan-ah. Is there something you’re not telling us?”
“Leave him alone, Seungkwan,” Vernon says.
“No.” Seungkwan turns back to face Chan. “Have you guys kissed yet?” The look on Chan’s face must be answer enough, and Seungkwan breaks out into a bright smile. “Tell us all about it!”
“That’s personal,” Chan says.
“Boring. Are you guys official?”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet!” Seungkwan squeals. “So you will be soon?”
“Maybe,” Chan says, and he can’t fight the smile from growing on his face. He’d been thinking about how to ask Mingyu to be his official boyfriend for the last couple of days.
Seungkwan is about to say something else, but Vernon wraps his arm around his head and covers his mouth. “I’m really sorry about him,” he says.
“He’s fine.” But Chan is grateful for the interrogation to end.
---
For their next date, Chan decides to take Mingyu to the zoo. He seems like the sort of guy to appreciate cute animals so Chan thinks it will be perfect.
Chan has also decided that today is the day that he will ask Mingyu to be his boyfriend. He refuses to go home until he’s asked, no chickening out.
The zoo is nice and calm when they get there. Chan insists on paying their entrance fees. Mingyu doesn’t argue, and he has this happy look on his face that Chan thinks makes him look absolutely gorgeous.
When they get in the front entrance Mingyu takes Chan’s hand in his and they walk round the zoo like that, hand in hand.
“They look like you,” Mingyu giggles when they get to the otter enclosure, and he makes Chan pose for a photo next to the glass. And then, Chan watches as Mingyu sets the photo as his lock screen. Chan wants to kiss him.
To reciprocate, Chan makes Mingyu stand next to the giraffes on the raised platform at the giraffe enclosure and pose.
“There, now we can have matching lock screens,” he says, while setting it up.
Mingyu looks so happy and Chan’s pretty sure he looks the same.
There’s some shade and a café halfway through the zoo and Chan buys them some chips to share and a milkshake each. He insists on taking a sip from Mingyu’s though, calling it an “indirect kiss.” Mingyu’s face flames bright red as soon as he says the words. Chan giggles at him and leans over to kiss him properly. He can do that now, it’s incredible.
When they reach the end of the zoo, and are about to leave, Chan pulls Mingyu over to a bench slightly hidden from the main path. Chan is about to start his pre-prepared speech, but Mingyu gets there first.
“Hey, Chan,” Mingyu says.
“Yeah?”
“I want to ask you something.” Mingyu wipes his hands on his jeans. Chan waits patiently. “You know that I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, but going on these dates and hanging out with you one on one has made me like you even more. So, would you like to be my boyfriend? Like officially?”
Mingyu maintains eye-contact even though Chan can tell it’s making him nervous. Internally Chan is crying that Mingyu stole his moment.
But Mingyu’s looking at him with such a cute, shy look that Chan can’t bring that up. Instead, he takes Mingyu’s hand in his. “I would love that.”
And Mingyu’s face breaks into a smile and Chan doesn’t care who asked who anymore. All that matters is that Mingyu, beautiful, sweet, kind Mingyu is his boyfriend.
“I’m so happy,” Mingyu says.
Chan smiles at him. “I’m so happy too.” Chan pulls Mingyu down and kisses him softly. “Thank you for waiting for me.”
“Anytime.”