Work Text:
Lilith was never one to lash out too much. There had been many, many times where she really wanted to, but she had no choice except to just keep it in until she was by herself and she could let out whatever she had to.
She had always had pretty strong emotions growing up, sure. But it just never stopped. She never grew out of those big feelings. No matter how old Lilith got, her emotions never seemed to fit comfortably inside her body. They were always spilling little by little in places she didn’t want them to. Sometimes all at once.
Today was an “all at once" day, or at least it was about to be.
Working on the museum’s exhibit was overwhelming enough. Yes, of course Lilith was excited to get everything together and educate people on her special interest, but even just thinking about layout plans in such a huge building made her head spin. There was so much to do, and everything seemed to be going against Lilith today. Her work routine was getting all sorts of messed up by things that were out of her control, and she could barely take time to herself to regulate. As the day went on she grew more and more anxious and irritated. Her clothing began to feel like ants crawling on her skin. Lights were starting to become too loud, and noises too bright. She suddenly became hyper-aware of how tight the straps to Hooty’s back carrier felt on her shoulders, so she quickly took him off and set him down on the table. He had been quiet for the last 10 minutes since he was taking a nap, but the sudden motion woke him up and he started to notice Lilith’s agitation.
“Lulu? Is everything okay?”
Hooty’s voice wasn’t loud and shrill like it usually was, it shrunk down and became soft and delicate. He understood his best friend was upset, and didn’t want to make things worse for her. Lilith’s chest grew tight, and it became harder for her to breathe. She leaned forward with her hands gripping the edge of the table, and began to count each of her fingers. Just like she always did.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7–
CLANG!
Lilith violently jolted with a screech, ripping her hands away from the table to cover her ears at the sudden loud noise. One of the people working on the museum had dropped a heavy metal pipe by accident, and Lilith’s body decided that was the last straw. Her hands started to tremble, and she could never seem to get in enough air. She knew she had to leave before she lashed out and said things she didn’t mean.
Lilith swiftly made her way outside, not even noticing Hooty calling out her name in concern as she left. She took in shallow breaths with a quivering lip. Her hands were clutched to her near-heaving chest, wringing together almost subconsciously. Once she turned the corner where no one could see her, she ripped off her coat and glasses, threw them on the ground, and sat against the wall as she began to gasp for air.
Eyes shut tight with her knees squeezing into her chest, Lilith felt herself starting to cry. She just let it happen. There was no point in fighting it now. Her hands gripped onto her hair like her life depended on it, and she tugged while rocking back and forth. She knew she looked crazy from an outside perspective, but she didn’t care. It’s not like anyone was watching.
But a familiar, rather high pitched voice told Lilith that she spoke too soon.
“Lulu?…”
Lilith never lifted her head from between her knees to look up at the source of the voice, but she didn’t need to. Only one person— well, bird — called her by that nickname.
It was Hooty.
Lilith couldn’t speak, she could barely even breathe. Her sobs and heaving breaths continued while she repeatedly hit the side of her head in frustration. Hooty stopped the harmful action by nudging his way between Lilith’s hand and her poor head.
“Lulu, you can’t be hitting yourself! What’s happening?”
Hooty knew something was wrong, he just didn’t know what it was. And Lilith couldn’t give him a verbal response since her body wouldn’t let her. It only made her more upset that she couldn’t communicate what she needed, so she started to tug at her hair again. Hard. She could feel her long, sharp nails digging into her own scalp, most likely drawing blood.
Hooty was determined to help his best friend through a rough time. He may have been just some bird tube, but that bird tube would lay his life on the line a hundred times over if it meant it would keep his Lulu safe.
First, he had to get Lilith away from the danger, and that danger was her own hands, which were hitting her head, pulling at her hair, and digging into her skin. Hooty thought quickly and started to wrap himself around Lilith in a restricting way, locking up her arms so they couldn’t move. He pulled tighter, but not so tight that Lilith couldn’t breathe. Just enough so that her arms couldn’t break free and she wouldn’t hurt herself again.
Lilith’s rapid breaths began to slow, and she became less fidgety. She found this pressure on her body… strangely comforting. Her shoulders relaxed, and her jaw unclenched. Her head slumped forward in relief, but Hooty took this body language as a sign of losing consciousness and began to freak out, starting his heartfelt theatrics.
“Lulu, you’re suffocating! Oh, this was a horrible idea. Why must I hurt those I love most—“
But just as Hooty started to loosen his grip around Lilith to let her breathe, she suddenly spoke up.
“No!”
Hooty paused, looking at Lilith in confusion.
“You… you like this? I’m not hurting you?…”
Lilith shook her head. She wasn’t quite verbal yet, but it was enough for Hooty to understand what she needed. She needed pressure, and he could provide that. So that’s exactly what he did.
The two stayed there for a while, not a word spoken between them until Lilith felt more relaxed. Hooty frequently checked on her just to make sure she could still breathe.
“Lulu? Are you still alive?”
Lilith chuckled a bit and nodded. She wiggled her arms within Hooty’s grip, signaling him to let her free, to which he did. She slumped against the wall with a heavy sigh, closing her eyes as the bird demon nuzzled his way into her lap. She started to scratch his head, focusing on the slight fuzzy texture of the bird demon’s tube body. It was a comforting texture. It didn’t feel like a violation to her hands whenever she touched it. And for that, she was forever grateful.
“...is all this museum construction work overwhelming you?” Hooty asked. Lilith pondered the question for a moment before shrugging. She had been just fine all this time with constructing the building, but why did it suddenly feel so bad now?
“I think you need to take a break, Lulu. A vacation, even. I just… don’t like seeing you this way.” Hooty frowned, looking up at Lilith with worried, beady eyes. She only let out an exhausted hum, looking out at the sunset in front of her. There was no loud and messy construction in sight. Only mass amounts of trees and flocks of birds flying by. For a moment, she had forgotten about all of her responsibilities. Her need for a set routine had vanished away, but only for a split second before the sound of drills and clanking hammers started to crawl their way into her head again and she curled into herself with a small whine.
Hooty knew what he had to do next. He stood up tall, and stretched himself around the corner and into the construction site, using his normally shrill voice to project.
“Alright folks! Miss Lilith Clawthorne has instructed me to tell you all that we’re calling it a night! Pack up and head on home, have a nice dinner, get a good night’s sleep, and we’ll get back to it again tomorrow!”
Everyone started to pack up and take off one by one. Hooty returned to Lilith, who weakly smiled at him and managed to speak in a strained whisper.
“…thank you.”
Hooty grinned proudly.
“Anything for you, best friend! Now why don’t we head home and plan a nice vacation over dinner? I’m so hungry, I could eat a thousand bugs!”
Lilith agreed silently. She slowly got up, and walked back inside the building to grab her things. She put her coat back on, strapped Hooty securely onto her back, and the two made their way home. Once they were far enough away, Lilith looked back at the museum, seeing the unfinished roof with various scaffolding surrounding the building. She couldn’t help but give a hopeful smile.
With time, everything would be okay.