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Alfred stood at his locker putting his advanced chem books away with a sigh. The day was over, now he could go home and… do homework… right. It never ended. He was about to close the locker when the fluttering of a scarf caught his eye.
Alfred’s heart fluttered right along with it and his head spun, eye focusing on the tall ashen blonde. His breath caught as he watched Ivan walk down the hall. He was Gorgeous… Wide shoulders, a firm build that made the tall golden blonde feel small for once. oh how he wanted to be able to lean against him, lose himself in the strong arms as he looked up into those beautiful mauve eyes. kiss those soft lips and just lose himself in it… but…
He watched as the smiling teen reached his target, Matthew Williams, Alfred's half brother. It was almost painful to watch as the smaller blonde spun around with his beaming smile and excited eyes. He could feel the hollowness in his stomach watching as Ivan caught his chin gently, tilting Matthews head up and swooping down to catch him in a kiss. He turned away once he saw the sweet red flush come over the boy with a face that was so similar to Alfred's.
He looked into his locker moving things around as he moped. It didn’t matter how similar he was to his younger brother, He would never measure up to him in Ivan's eyes. Alfred wished he could… He wanted Matthew’s silky blonde waves, those indigo eyes that were so full of that sweet kindness. Matthew was all soft touches, giggles and blushing… He was exactly the type that screamed out to be taken care of. Exactly the kind of guy someone like Ivan would like.
Alfred was pretty well the opposite. He was almost as tall , though not near as bulky, as Ivan. His blonde hair cropped short and straight, lips chapped, hands rough from working outside. He was cocky and loud, not really one to blush... Not really the kind you would expect to see being held like he was something precious. He was more the type you would peg as doing the holding. More of a Hero than a damsel.
Alfred closed his locker and cast another glance. It was like they heard his thoughts, there was Matthew, giggling at something Ivan was whispering in his ear, a bright red blush on his face. Then Matthews fingers closed around Ivan's collar, pulling him down for another kiss, both smiling as their mouths moved together. he could almost feel Matthew melting into the wall… Alfred’s lip went between his teeth.
there had been nights when his brother came home, kissing Ivan goodnight at the door, where Alfred had been hit with the urge to grab Matthew and kiss him. Not because he really wanted to kiss his brother, but more because he knew they would taste like Ivan…
He turned away from the scene walking away. He couldn’t watch anymore, It only brought up images in his head he’d rather not consider. Matthew writhing under Ivan, moaning as the larger teen ran his hands all over his brothers soft skin… He hated it, hated it because it hurt.
He had tried… He had tried so hard to be happy for Matthew, just to forget Ivan and move on. It wasn’t working. Ivan’s face was in his mind all the time and now, well now he couldn’t even sit at the dinner table without jealousy and envy coursing through him…
He stopped at the car leaning against it and waited. No more then five minutes passed when Matthew called to him “I’ll be right there Alfred!” Alfred looked up and smiled with a nod, dying a little inside as he watched Matthew kiss Ivan one last time, giggling and smacking him softly when Ivan grabbed his ass. “Behave! I’ll see you tomorrow” Matthew jogged across the parking lot and they piled into the car.
Alfred wasn’t paying attention, lost in an image of Alfred being the one getting his ass grabbed when a pair of fingers snapped in front of his face “Earth to Alfred? you still here?” Alfred shook his head to clear his thought and looked over with a chuckle.
“Yeah sorry dude, just checked out for a minute”
“Everything alright?” Matthew frowned.
“yup” He said, smiling over everything he’d rather say “All good broski! Let’s get home, I got a ton of homework” Matthew looked at him, eyes critical and concerned but gave a tired smile finally and nodded.
“Alright, if you say so, But if anything is wrong Alfie, you can talk to me okay?” Alfred smiled and nodded, ruffling his brother's hair laughing at the scowl it earned, the one that couldn’t scare a baby bunny. Maybe if he could hate Matthew it would be easier, but he loved his brother… So it didn’t matter how much it hurt, how lost his heart was to Matthew’s boyfriend, There was nothing he could or would do about it. He was just stuck dealing with this crush.