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Bowser heaved a deep, heartbroken sigh as he gazed down at the quiet piranha plant clutched between his claws; he was yet again sitting alone on a bench after a failed marriage attempt, which usually wasn't a big deal, but this one had stung much more than anything else in the past. He was in one of the most romantic places there was - behind a beautiful chapel on the fucking moon with the Earth twinkling in the sky above - dressed to the nines in a fancy white and purple tuxedo and his mane meticulously styled, as requested, and yet he still sat alone, which he'd been promised wouldn't happen. Or at least, he wasn't supposed to be sitting alone with only a broken promise for company.
Peach had lied to him.
Again.
He suddenly chucked the piranha plant away from him with a deep growl, his frustration with himself mounting as he watched the poor plant land on top of his discarded jacket. One day he needed to learn to just quit her entirely, and honestly this seemed like a fantastic last straw. The final offense to crack his shell.
She'd come to him so sweetly, as always. "Oh, Bowser, can you help me get Mario to chase me again? But this time let's make it a wedding!"
He'd thought she was mocking him at first until she went out of her way to get him a custom suit and everything. More than that, though, she swore up and down she'd give him something he'd always wanted - provided he knew it didn't mean she was suddenly changing her mind about him.
Bowser groaned and leaned forward on the bench, putting his face in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He was so fucking dumb! And now there was a chapel full of people thinking the worst of him, again, when really the whole scheme was Peach's idea.
He'd sold himself out for the promise of a kiss he was never going to get.
The only small solace he had was that she actually turned Mario down too when the idiot plumber had gotten a little too aggressive trying to give her flowers… but honestly, that didn’t help heal the rage beginning to bubble in his heart.
“Excuse me…”
Bowser’s head jerked up, his lip curled back over a fang to warn off whoever dared interrupt him - only to see you standing there, giving him a sympathetic, dare he think it, pitying smile. He recognized you from the few times you’d gotten caught up in some of the shenanigans between him and those plumbers.
He switched his snarl to a scowl rather quickly and looked away. “What.”
In his peripherals, he saw you point at the piranha flower bouquet; he braced himself for a teasing remark about the only things willing to sit near him being aggressive plants. He didn’t have a reason to suspect that from you, at all, but that didn’t stop him from assuming. It was suspicious enough you left the “reception” to walk around and find him.
“Do you mind if I sit with you?” you asked softly.
He whipped his head around in surprise as he fixed his wary gaze on you. His brain thoroughly scrambled, he first nodded, then shook his head, and finally winced at himself.
“You - you can sit,” he finally managed, scooting over just a bit to make room for you.
You gave him a suspiciously warm smile and reached to pick up the bouquet so you could sit. You were so gentle that the quiet plants didn’t start snapping, even as you settled them back on your lap - and that was oddly intriguing to him. He shifted to face you a little more, his thick arm draping over the back of a bench as he forced a scowl.
“What do you want, woman?” he growled when you didn’t immediately speak.
You were quiet for a moment, focused on the ribbon on the bouquet, then looked up at him. “I’m sorry she did this to you.”
He inhaled sharply, his eyes going wide in surprise. His mouth fell open like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out even after a few tries. Just how much did you know?
You looked back down at the bouquet as you smiled again; there was something sad about it this time that made his stomach feel like it flipped over. His stunned silence clearly betrayed just how shocked he was that you know.
“I heard her talking about it when I visited the palace,” you explained softly. “She was actually sort of laughing about it. And then knowing she’s happy to let you take the fall, despite all this being her plan…” You shook your head, looking up at him again. “I just thought I’d come check on you.”
“Me–?!”
“Yes, you.” You didn’t give him time to say anything else before you cut him off with a resolute nod. “You’re the fall guy, always, but from the few times I’ve interacted with you, you don’t seem like such a terrible guy to me.”
He growled quietly, immediately on the defensive that anyone could possibly see him as decent… despite desperately wanting exactly that. But who even were you, exactly? Yes, he could read the little nametag pinned to your dress, and as he mulled it over in his mind, he could remember Greenie and Red Idiot calling you that several times. But who were you to them? And how in the hell did you end up involved in their shit sometimes?
“What are you to them?” he demanded. Instead of flinching at either the growl or his demand, you just smiled a little bit, catching him off guard, and he blinked.
“The brothers, I assume you mean. I’m supposed to be their secretary for their plumbing business, but it seems like I get dragged into unwanted adventures by sheer association with them… and their shop has been closed since the last time a certain someone decided to try and raid it.” You raised both of your eyebrows at him in an unimpressed manner, clearly indicating his recent attempt to kidnap one of the brothers directly.
Bowser rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, pouting a bit. He… sort of liked how you were so boldly challenging him, if he was honest. You weren’t being abrasive about it, but you were letting him know that you honestly weren’t afraid of him.
“Look,” he muttered, “they just get on my fuckin’ nerves, okay? Didn’t mean to put you outta a job…”
“Well, I’m still getting paid, so it’s not such a big deal. Anyway, I also wanted to let you know that you look dashing in your tux… I’m not sure if anyone bothered to mention that, something else I think is a little unfair.” You sighed softly, like you really believed what you were telling him.
Maybe he could take advantage of the situation? Why not? He hadn’t self-sabotaged in fifteen minutes at least.
He pressed his lips together as he glanced back at you thoughtfully. You tilted your head to the side curiously, like an adorable, confused chain chomp pup.
Here went everything.
“Since you seem to be so concerned about me, li’l lady,” he started slowly, rubbing his chin in thought, “how ‘bout I take you out on a date, and I’ll tell you anything you’re curious about. How’s that sound?” He smirked a bit.
His smirk slowly faded as you seemed to actually consider his offer. After a moment or two, you smiled, stood, and gently set the bouquet back down in its spot. He watched as you stood in front of him; your hands came up to cup his cleft chin and his heart jumped at your gentle touch, his eyes widening at the bold move.
This wasn’t even remotely what he expected.
You smiled oh so sweetly at him, warm and inviting and completely unafraid. “Counter offer,” you murmured. He nodded dumbly. “I’m gonna go back inside, but if you follow me in I’ll call this a first date, and I’ll consider letting you take me on a second one.”
He didn’t reply. He couldn’t, too utterly shocked by this. You giggled softly when he didn’t respond.
“No pressure,” you said softly. “Not like you don’t know where to find me.” And then you made things a million times worse by kissing the side of his muzzle before promptly turning and strutting back toward the front of the chapel. His jaw dropped as he watched you go; behind him, his tail was wagging something fierce, knocking moon dust around.
That just happened. That really just happened, without him making a deal for it or anything. You willingly kissed him of your own volition. But now you were walking away…
Wait. No. You weren’t Peach - you had left the invitation open. He was letting you walk away.
…Was he fucking stupid?!
By the time he fully registered everything, you had disappeared around the front of the building. In an instant, he was on his feet and sprinting toward the front of the chapel in pursuit, skidding around the corner and bounding up the steps a few at a time. He ignored the stares he got from the few beings in the foyer, but it was hard to ignore the startled yelps from people when he rather violently slammed the door open with more strength than he meant to.
When he glanced around, all eyes were on him. “Uh… sorry,” he muttered. Maybe this had been a bad id–
“Bowser!”
His head whipped around shamefully fast at the sound of your bright voice and he locked his eyes on your smiling face at the far end of the chapel. For the first time in his life, he suddenly felt rather self conscious, but he slowly made his way toward you when you beckoned him over. His shoulders hunched, he held his arms close to his body, and his tail curled around his legs as he picked his way between the tables and guests; as he moved, though, a bashful smile settled on his maw, the tip of his tail flicking despite being wrapped around his leg.
You held your hand out to him when he got closer, smiling warmly at him. He was acutely aware of just how small your hand was compared to his as he took hold of it, but you didn’t look bothered in the least. In fact, there was genuine excitement in your eyes as you looked up at him. It made him duck his head in embarrassment.
“People are starin’,” he mumbled as he got himself sat beside you. His smile hadn’t faded, though.
“If I cared what people thought about me, you might never have met me,” you chuckled softly. “They can stare all they want; I’m delighted you decided to come join me.” You used your free hand to push a loaded plate of food at him, but he ignored it for now.
He gazed down at you; his tail slowly uncurled from his legs and began to sway a little behind him. “You really mean that, don’tcha,” he stated softly.
You nodded and your smile became softer, but more serious. “I do. Sometimes I’m a little too honest, but at least that means you’ll know I’m not lying to you. But I won’t just say mean things to be mean, either… just to clear that up.”
For the first time all day, Bowser chuckled. “I appreciate the honesty,” he rumbled. “This also means if you feel like things ain’t gonna work out that you’ll say somethin’, right?”
“Of course. Unlike some people-” you coughed softly and shot a glance toward a portrait of Princess Peach hanging near the altar “-I don’t enjoy playing with people’s feelings. Everyone deserves a chance, and I believe that firmly, but if it looks like we aren’t compatible long term I’ll say something.” You blushed a little as you finally took your hand back to start eating.
He laughed softly at the contemptuous look you’d sent Peach’s portrait. You really were something else, and though he wouldn’t mention it to you, he felt like already there was a sort of connection that he never had with Peach. He could easily see you turning out to be the one for him - but he wouldn’t hold his breath, just in case.
“I guess that means I’ll just have to enjoy every single moment with ya, just in case,” he purred smoothly, watching as your face reddened. Good, that meant he was back in his groove, and you were squarely in his sights.
To your credit, though, you kept your composure, sending him a sweet smile. “Well, aren’t you a smooth operator,” you chimed. “I kinda like that… confidence looks good on you.”
A shiver threatened to crawl up his spine, but luckily he managed to suppress it by the time it got to the base of his tail; he couldn’t stop the heat that rushed to his cheeks, unfortunately. Not only had you gone out of your way to check on him after this fucking catastrophe, but you also appreciated his lines and said it even suited him… he wasn’t entirely sure what to expect (given he’d only tried for Princess Peach before now) but he was starting to get pretty excited.
He leaned in closer to you with a quiet purr. “Well, how about we blow this joint and I’ll show you just how confident I can be, hm?”
You giggled softly in surprise, your face still flushed a lovely shade even as you tried to hide your fluster behind your hand.
“What, eager to get to date number two?” you teased.
“Or maybe I was hopin’ we could prolong date number one.”
You pursed your lips in thought as you regarded him, but after a few heart-pounding moments, you nodded, that beautiful, bashful smile never leaving you. “Alright, that actually sounds nice; did you have something in mind?”
What did he have in mind? Honestly, he wasn’t sure he’d expected you to agree so readily, despite all the signs you were genuinely interested in him. But he didn’t want to run you off already by being too aggressive or forward, or anything like that even though you just said you liked his confidence. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to do something a little more lowkey this first time…
He pressed his lips together briefly in thought before a wide grin pulled his lips back. Of course! It was so simple!
“Well,” he hummed, “how ‘bout some sky gazin’? I know a nice little place ‘round the back of this chapel, once we’re done here… We could talk and get to know each other a bit more before the second date?”
You reached over with a warm smile, resting your hand on his forearm. “You know, I think that sounds lovely. It’ll be nice getting to know the real you, the ones most others don’t get to see.”
Bowser’s tail felt like it was about to break the confines of the little foldable chair, it was wagging so hard. His heart was already threatening to break the confines of his chest just from your willing touch, but the gentle rub that followed practically made him swoon. If you kissed his snout again he just might faint.
Briefly, his mind tried to convince him that this was all some sick joke - but his gut told him you really were being genuine.
People were staring, not snickering, and there hadn’t been anyone outside to see you be so sweet. Nor would there be anyone to witness the second half of this date.
“Do you wanna head out already?”
The sound of your voice had him blinking back into the present. He had enough presence of mind to reply, “Thought you were hungry?”
You chuckled softly, smiling up at him. “I’ve eaten a little bit. If I’m still hungry later, we can go get something, how’s that sound?” You rubbed his forearm again, though did take the chance to get another bite in.
He nodded too eagerly as he put way too much effort into standing up like a calm, collected adult, forced to hold his tail with one hand to keep it from knocking anything over due to his excitement. His other hand extended to you, palm up in an invitation.
“Shall we, beautiful?” he rumbled, smiling warmly at you.
You placed your hand in his, a quiet, pleased hum escaping you as you allowed him to help you to your feet. Your eyes met his, and in a soft but earnest voice, you replied, “Lead the way, handsome.”