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Being a teenager came with a lot of problems. Mitsuzane knew that better than most. Not only did he have to deal with all the regular things that came with his age, but because of his family name he had even more to deal with. There was so much expected of him. Things he didn't know if he would ever be able to do.
There was something that Mitsuzane had started to question about himself a few years ago. He kept silent about it for a multitude of reasons. He was afraid to tell anyone and also with everything else he didn't want to bother anyone with this problem. Not to mention he was scared of not being the perfect kid he was meant to be.
Now it just felt so hard to do. Mitsuzane had planned for ages to tell his family what was going on in his head but things never fell through. Now all that was left of their family was him and Takatora. And with how their relationship had been crumbling, Mitsuzane couldn't find the courage to tell Takatora anything. Takatora was so busy anyway. He shouldn't bother him like that.
Somehow, though, Mitsuzane's friends picked up on the fact that something was wrong. He tried to deflect them for a while, scared of the prospect telling them. Eventually they got him to cave and tell them what was going on in his head.
"I... don't want to be a boy. It just doesn't feel right."
It had been a terrifying thing to admit, but he was treated kindly. Everyone was supportive of him and wanted to help him feel better. Mitsuzane wasn't sure about how to do that. At least, not without having to tell his brother. That was not a conversation he was looking forward to possibly ever having to have.
While with his friends, he was able to be who he wanted to be. He was allowed to experiment with different things to see how they fit him. And before long that made him confirm what he had been questioning.
"I'm a girl. I'm not a boy."
That statement was taken well. He... she? Mitsuzane still wasn't sure about changing pronouns. It scared him that someone might overhear and get mad about it. Maybe if he looked more like a girl he wouldn't be so afraid. Either way, he felt like he belonged somewhere.
Unfortunately Mitsuzane was still very hesitant to tell his brother this development. It was a lot and this was such a small issue compared to everything else that was going on. Mitsuzane didn't want to be a burden. And the last thing he wanted was for his brother to find a reason to be disappointed in him more than he probably already was (his grades had definitely been slipping way more than they ever should).
Some of the girls on their dance team handed him a few dresses to have since he definitely was not about to try and buy one. Mitsuzane had yet to ever try them on. But tonight he finally did. He desperately had wanted to wear one ever since they gave him them. He put one on and stared at himself in the mirror.
It didn't look right. Why couldn't he look more feminine? He looked wrong in the dress as much as he really liked it. All because he still looked like a boy. No one would take him seriously if he looked like this. It hurt to realize that. Unless he could look like a girl he'd never feel like he could belong in a dress like this.
There was a knock on the door. Before Mitsuzane could react, it opened. Takatora stood at the door frame, staring at him. There was a very long moment of silence. Mitsuzane felt sick. This wasn't supposed to be how this happened. He was meant to have a lot more time before ever being found out.
"What are you doing?" Takatora's voice was cold.
Mitsuzane trembled, fumbling for an explanation. He couldn't get any words out. He was too scared. The obvious hostility in Takatora's voice was not helping at all.
"Take it off. I never want to catch you in it again. Dresses aren't for you. They're for girls." Takatora stated firmly, "We'll talk later."
He closed the door. Mitsuzane fell to his knees. Tears started streaming down his face. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did his life have to be such a mess.
Mitsuzane slid the dress off and tossed it into a corner. He threw on a sweatshirt and some pants before climbing into his bed. He buried himself under the covers and shoved his face into a pillow. The tears just wouldn't stop.
...
Mitsuzane was very quiet the next morning. He didn't even look at Takatora. Couldn't bear to. Not after that. At least he didn't bother trying to talk to him.
Everyone was worried when he came to practice that day. He was a lot more resigned and barely acknowledged anyone. After a lot of coaxing, he finally broke down and explained what had happened.
"Nii-san... doesn't like it..."
No one knew how to help him. They couldn't change someone's mind that easily. Especially since Mitsuzane refused to tell them any more info about his brother.
"It'll be okay, Micchi." Mai placed a hand on his shoulder, "Even if he won't accept you, we do. You can be yourself around us."
"Sucks that you have to hide who you are at home but that seems like the best bet for now." Kouta added in.
The rest of the team soon joined in on their lead and offered words of support. Mitsuzane was glad at least he had somewhere to be himself. But it troubled him to know he wasn't safe to be open about himself at home.
Truth be told, Mitsuzane hadn't expected that reaction from Takatora. He had thought there would just be a lot of confusion. He hadn't taken Takatora to be unsupportive like that. He had no issue being okay with Mitsuzane telling him he was possibly into guys once. Why was this so much harder to accept?
He felt like he might be missing part of the puzzle here. There had to be more to Takatora's reaction. Right?
He tried to take his mind off of things for a bit by focusing on practice. Unfortunately he was still so distracted that he just kept messing up. Mitsuzane felt really bad that he was causing so many problems for everyone. Why couldn't he have just been normal? Why did he have to end up like this?
Everything just never seemed to go his way, did it?
...
Takatora was quite troubled that day at work. He couldn't focus on much. His mind kept wandering back to what happened last night. He didn't know what to do about it. He needed to talk to Mitsuzane about what the hell he had seen but had no idea how to approach it.
"Takatora~"
He was finally broken out of his thoughts by someone calling his name. He looked up from his laptop to find that Ryouma and Yoko were walking toward him. He pushed his thoughts aside to focus on them. He needed to focus on his job right now. Family would need to wait.
"What do you need?" Takatora asked.
"Got some new files that you requested. Research is going quite well." Ryouma dropped a folder onto his desk, "But work aside, you seem quite troubled. Something you want to talk about, perhaps?"
Takatora didn't know how wise it would be to discuss family problems at work, but he needed insight from someone else. He was getting nowhere on his own. He explained briefly what had occured last night to the two of them.
"I just don't know what to do. I don't understand why he would be doing that. I don't want him getting bullied over something like that." Takatora said.
"Teenagers like to explore themselves. I wouldn't think too much of it." Yoko shrugged, "Probably just a phase. Maybe a dare or something. Kids are unpredictable sometimes."
"It seems to have upset him deeply though."
"Probably really embarrassed that you saw him like that."
Takatora sighed, "Any other ideas from you, Ryouma? Or is what she said what you think as well?"
Ryouma seemed to be pondering quite a bit. He had seemed to have noticed something as Takatora told the story.
"Perhaps..." Ryouma trailed off before speaking up again, "Maybe the boy doesn't feel like a boy anymore."
"What?" Takatora asked.
"Professor, are you trying to imply that Mitsuzane may be questioning if he's a girl? Transgender?" Yoko questioned.
Ryouma nodded, "It seems likely if he was so upset by the reaction you gave him."
Takatora wasn't sure how to take the news, "What the hell am I supposed to do with him then...?"
"If you want to make amends for what happened, you need to apologize, firstly. Then maybe just ask what's up. He knows himself better than any of us ever will."
"What if it's just a phase?" Takatora questioned, "What if he stops wanting this all of a sudden?"
"I'm sure he'd rather know you'll support and love him no matter what even if he is wrong than you refuse to believe it because you think it might pass. Besides, Takatora, you don't necessarily know how long he may have been feeling this way for. Don't jump to conclusions like you know the inside of his head."
...
"Micchi, are you gonna be okay going home?"
Mitsuzane hadn't realized his hesitance to leave was that noticeable. He glanced over at where Kouta stood. Mai was not too far away, also seeming quite worried. Most of the others had left already.
"If I avoid him, I'll just make things worse." Mitsuzane said, "I'll survive, Kouta-san."
"Are you sure? You could come stay over for a night if you need to." Kouta offered.
"If things go wrong I'll take you up on that offer. But I should at least go home first." Mitsuzane said.
He wanted to take Kouta up on that now, but couldn't bring himself to. He had to face this mess. He couldn't run away from it like a coward. Whatever Takatora had to say, he would deal with. He needed to be strong.
"Alright..." Kouta backed off.
The three of them walked together until they had to go their separate ways. Mitsuzane hesitated once more. Did he really need to do this?
"Goodnight, Kouta, Micchi." Mai was the first to say goodbye.
"Night..." Mitsuzane mumbled and then walked away. He heard Kouta call his farewell but ignored it.
His feet felt heavy as he walked into the house. He shrugged off his jacket and kicked his shoes away. Hopefully he could go to his room and hide again. Maybe they could just never speak of this again? Did they really need to have a conversation?
Mitsuzane started making his way to his room. Unfortunately Takatora was in the living room and saw him. Almost seemed as if he was waiting for Mitsuzane.
"Sit. We need to talk."
Oh boy... Mitsuzane nervously took a seat opposite of Takatora. How bad was this going to get? What would Takatora have to say to him? Was he going to scold him even-
"I'm sorry."
Mitsuzane paused. Takatora was... apologizing?
Takatora continued, "I'm sorry about what happened last night. It wasn't my intention to upset you so much. It just took me by surprise and I was worried that behavior would get you bullied."
Mitsuzane wasn't sure what to say. Takatora wasn't against him? He had just been worried? That had been his attempt at protecting him?
"I don't know if you'll forgive me easily for what I said, but I am sorry. I would also like to know why exactly you were doing that. I don't want to jump to conclusions."
Mitsuzane gulped. He was being asked to say why he had been wearing a dress. Takatora didn't seem like he would be mean about whatever his answer would be. Maybe it would be okay to tell him? He did seem to just want to make amends and help.
"I... I want to be a girl, nii-san. I don't like being a boy. It makes me feel unhappy." Mitsuzane finally said.
"I see." Takatora looked him in the eyes, "I'll take your word for it. You know yourself better than I ever will. I'll do my best to support you if this is what you want to do."
"I..." Mitsuzane felt tears threatening to fall as he tried to get any words to come out of his mouth, "I... thank you..."
He knew this development wouldn't be taken well by those close to their family. Mitsuzane was aware of how most business partners of theirs felt about these types of things. All those old men stuck in their ways. But, Takatora wouldn't let them harass him for this, right?
"I assume your friends have known for a while, haven't they?" Takatora asked.
Mitsuzane nodded, "They helped me realize this was why I felt so wrong."
"I'm glad you have a supportive group of friends."
"Does this mean I can wear a dress if I want to?" Mitsuzane asked. He wanted to test something.
Takatora hesitated for a moment before he answered, "Well... I won't say anything but... you know how cruel the world can be sometimes. I don't want you to get hurt. Just promise you'll be careful if you want to do that outside of home, okay?"
Mitsuzane nodded, "I will."
"Is there anything you need from me to help you through this?"
"Um..." Mitsuzane pondered the question, "I don't know if I want to choose a new name yet. Everyone's been giving me options but none feel right yet. That might change though. And... can you... refer to me as a girl?"
"I can try my best." Takatora replied, "It might take a while for me to get it down though."
"As long as you try..."
"Correct me if I do ever mess up."
"Okay." Mitsuzane nodded, a smile forming on his lips.
"Is that all?" Takatora asked.
"I... have a question. How come you changed your feelings so fast?" Mitsuzane questioned.
"I talked to someone who seemed to know what was going on. I got a lot of advice from them on how to proceed." Takatora replied vaguely.
"You won't tell me who?"
"They didn't want to be known."
"Alright... then that's all. Thank you, nii-san. I'm really happy you're okay with this."
...
The next day, Mitsuzane was definitely a lot happier. He, no... she went to meet up with her friends. Everyone could immediately see there was a difference in her mood compared to the day before.
"How'd it go last night, Micchi?" Mai was the first to ask her.
"Nii-san is okay with it! He was just really worried about me getting bullied and reacted like that to try and keep me safe. He apologized though and said he'll support me!"
"That's awesome!"
"Also um... I'd like to start presenting more feminine so... I'm ready to try and be referred to like a girl." Mitsuzane said.
"Gotcha."
"Sounds good!"
"Have you found a name you want to use or is that still the same?"
Mitsuzane paused at the question. She still wasn't sure about that.
"Micchi is fine. I don't mind that at all." She eventually replied.
She didn't mind her nickname. Her full first name though... not the biggest fan. It just reminded her of what she was supposed to be. At least most people wouldn't bat an eye if she simply said she goes by a nickname instead. A lot of people did that.
Everyone accepted her answer and things just moved along as always. It was nice that not much had ever really changed between them all since she had started questioning things. It was so much easier to go on without having to be reminded of her identity constantly.
"So, Micchi... do you plan to start growing out your hair?" Mai asked during a break.
Mitsuzane shrugged, "Probably."
"I'm sure it'll look really cute when it's longer."
Mitsuzane looked down, "Y-yeah..."
"I'm guessing you haven't thought too much about how to transition yet, have you?" Kouta joined in on the conversation.
"Not really..."
"Take your time. You don't have to figure everything out that fast."
Mitsuzane nodded. There was no big rush to decide how she wanted to start this journey. She could take time to decide on things. Especially if some things would require asking Takatora to help with. There was only so much she could do as a minor, unfortunately. Maybe she should at least ask him about possibly pursuing some things just so he was prepared if that day would come?
"Say, Micchi, you wanna paint your nails like the rest of us girls have?" Mai asked.
Mitsuzane hesitated. She really did want to but would that be okay? No one would really notice if she painted her nails, right?
"Can I paint my nails too?" Kouta questioned, butting into the conversation.
Mai glanced over at him and chuckled, "If one of us can do it. You'll make a mess if you try, Kouta."
"It can't be that hard!"
Mitsuzane cracked a smile, "Let's do it together then."
Kouta flashed her a smile and gave her a thumbs up, "Team Gaim is gonna match even better now!"
...
"So, how'd your little chat go last night, Takatora?"
Takatora had barely got himself situated to begin the day when he was asked that. Ryouma had seemed to have sought him out just to ask. Why did he have such a big interest in this anyway?
"It went well. He-" Takatora paused for a second, "She accepted my apology. You were correct on what was going on."
"So now you have a little sister."
"I guess so. It's quite difficult to change things. I'm struggling."
"It'll get easier with time, I'm sure."
"I hope so." A pause, "She's chosen such a chaotic time to start all of this."
"Can't be helped. Anyway, I have some stuff to go over with you."
...
Mitsuzane... Micchi arrived home at her usual time. She went to see if Takatora was around. You never knew with him half the time unfortunately. His job was annoying like that.
She finally spotted him leaving the study, "Nii-san."
Takatora turned, "Good evening. You just get home?"
Micchi nodded, "Yeah. Um... can we talk for a bit?"
"I suppose so. Come."
They went to the living room and sat down. Micchi wasn't entirely sure where to start. There were a lot of things she wanted to say.
"Um... about my name..." Micchi decided to start there. That was probably the easiest thing to talk about.
"You wish to go by something else?"
"Kind of? All my friends just call me Micchi and honestly that's fine. I just don't want to be called my full name." She mumbled.
"Alright. I'll try to remember that then." Takatora replied.
"Thank you..." Micchi hesitated before asking the next thing, "Do you think I could get a therapist to... talk to about all of this?"
"I can look. See what's around."
Micchi nodded along. This was going smoother than she had thought it would. Takatora wasn't even questioning anything she wanted. He was just going along with it. It was pretty nice to not have to explain her every motive.
"Thank you, nii-san."
"Is that all?"
"I think for now that's all." Micchi replied.
"Very well." Takatora nodded, "I take it you're going to change a few things here and there, are you not? I see you've painted your nails."
Micchi was startled by the fact he noticed that, but nodded, "Yeah... I want to try growing out my hair. And maybe wearing different styles of clothes sometimes. Mostly just when I'm with my friends for now."
"Alright. Let me know of you need anything else then. I apologize but I do have some work I need to do." Takatora stood up.
"Are you going back in to work?" Micchi asked.
"I'm not sure. That remains to be seen."
"Okay. I'm going to finish some school work." Micchi stood up as well.
"If I don't see you before bed, goodnight... Micchi."
"Night, nii-san." Micchi couldn't help but smile at the use of the name she wanted to be called.
She went to her room and did pull out some homework. She got distracted quite easily though. She looked at her phone and ended up texting Kouta and Mai about the conversation.
It was certainly something. She never expected her life to end up this way, but here she was. At least there were quite a few people willing to support her. Hopefully her journey could go smoothly. Micchi really didn't want to deal with any more drama related to her gender identity.
Hopefully with the amount of people who supported her, anyone who tried to start drama would be dealt with quickly. She doubted anyone would want to see her upset like that. She really got lucky with her group of friends and family.
Though... would the rest of their family support her? Micchi had no desire for them to ever find out. They were nowhere near anyway. It wouldn't be that hard to keep a secret from them.
Maybe for once life could go her way.