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“For fuck’s sake, James, stop moving!''.
Sirius heard his best friend laughing and could imagine the cheeky side smile adorning his face. On the other hand, he could imagine the frown that Remus wore whenever he was in the middle of something serious. He’d seen it countless times before, when he was struggling to understand a spell, or whenever Peter, James and him would start talking about wizard stuff.
What could possibly they be doing, on a Wednesday evening, by themselves in the bathroom?
Sirius’ mind went to places he wasn’t exactly proud of.
Apparently, Remus had learned over the summer how to properly shave his face, just like real men did. Sirius had noticed. He surely had noticed how the thin layer of blonde fuzz over his lip disappeared every couple of days. Not that he stared at Moony’s lips too frequently, but he didn’t know James had also noticed. And had asked their best friend to teach him how to shave “the muggle way”.
Remus was leaning towards James, both cramped inside the tiny bathroom, their faces mere centimetres apart. Moony was holding Potter’s jaw to keep him from moving, and seemed to be holding a razor - something Sirius had only seen in Muggle magazine ads -, while the can of shaving cream rested over the bathroom sink. Potter kept laughing almost nervously and Moony had this extremely focused expression, while he sighed and scolded James.
James didn’t even have a proper moustache yet! And he knew Monty would teach him the proper grooming spells, so what could possibly push him to ask Moony to shave his non-existent moustache?
“Potter, if you keep moving I’ll give you a scar to match the ones on my face, I swear I’ll cut you”. Remus sighed, impatient, and leaned even closer to James.
“Alright, lads?” Sirius called, nonchalantly, snapping out of his daydream when he realised he’d been staring and would eventually be caught. Not because he was worried about how close they were, or because he was doing anything wrong, he was just looking at his best friends. Shaving their faces. Very close to each other. In their bathroom. That they all shared. Nothing out of the ordinary.
“Sirius! Come here, mate, Moony’s teaching me how to shave like a muggle, get in line”. James smiled and looked at Sirius, letting go of Remus’ grip on his face. Remus whipped his hands on his trousers and looked anywhere but Sirius’ direction.
“I’ve been starting to feel my ‘stache growing, actually”. He smiled at his best friend, and tried to catch Remus’ attention, however he just made a beeline towards the dorm they share and said:
“I give up! You can’t even stay still for two minutes, Potter, I won’t teach you anything, and won’t even attempt to teach you, Black”.
“Ow!, Come on Moony, how will I impress Evans then?”
“You should try growing a moustache first, Potter,” Sirius laughed. Remus laughed too, and Sirius could’ve sworn he saw a dust of pink adorning his cheeks.
“I have to leave anyway, promised the girls I’d study with them”.
So that explained the blushing. He had to go see “the girls” again.
___
Sirius was trying so hard to not think about it.
He’d listen to his records, flirt with every girl that cared about him enough to call his attention (and if we’re honest, there were lots of them), he’d started planning pranks and trying to get James to embark onto some of them, and together they’d spend some afternoons practising Quidditch. But Moony would always be at the back of his mind.
Moony’s hands.
Moony’s hands around his jaw.
Moony’s hands around his jaw, holding him still.
Moony’s hands around his jaw, holding him still, their faces centimetres away from each other.
Moony’s breath clashing Sirius’ own.
Everytime Sirius closed his eyes he could see it. And it was making him (hard) mad. It didn't help that Remus was definitely avoiding him. He’d been spending more time with the girls. It was another thing driving Sirius mad. Every morning he’d sit with them for breakfast, walk with either Lily or Marlene to class, between classes he’d be walking with Mary hanging off his arm, and afterwards he’d go back to the dorm and pick up his textbooks to spend the entire afternoon secluded in the library with them.
So, a week after he caught Remus and James in their tiny bathroom, Sirius decided he would ask Moony to teach him, even if it was the one thing that would kill him. Hornyness had never killed someone, had it?
“Moony!! Just the Marauder I was looking for”. Sirius leaned on the bathroom door while Remus brushed his teeth after lunch. He knew he had a couple of minutes until Remus’ would try to escape to one of his study sessions, so he had to be quick.
“Sirius, I’d love to talk to you but Lily is waiting for me in the Common Room”. Remus apologised and tried to get out of the tiny bathroom. Sirius was wiser and blocked the door completely.
“Moony I miss you!” Sirius admitted, his voice tinted with much more earnestness than he would’ve liked. “We barely see you anymore, you know you’re the one with the best prank ideas, the Marauders haven’t done any memorable prank in the longest time”.
Remus’ eyes harden after the last sentence. He looked down, so that Sirius couldn’t read his expression, but Sirius was determined to get him back.
“ I really do miss you, Moony. I want to spend more time with you, but you’re always with them. ” Sirius tried again. He tried not to sound too jealous but the truth was that he was boiling in jealousy. It wasn’t fair that the girls and James got to have moments with Remus when Sirius was the one craving him the most. He knew no one understood Remus the way he did. No one wanted to be with him the way that Sirius did.
Remus looked into Sirius's eyes after the confession. He knew he’d let his feelings show a bit too much, but it was like that with Moony. He wouldn’t let Sirius bullshit him. Remus would know it was not about the pranks, or the Marauders.
“Tomorrow. I promise you.” Remus answered and it was enough for Sirius to unblock the door, and felt the dorm room close as Remus fled their shared space.
So Sirius did the only thing that was left to do.
He waited patiently for tomorrow to arrive.
The next morning, he took a shower before class, as usual. He brushed his teeth as usual. He let his hair air dry as usual. He walked to the Great Hall and had breakfast with James as usual. Then he walked to class with James as usual.
But his brain was filled with images of Remus. His big, scarred hands. Long fingers holding his jaw. Sirius shivered just thinking about it, and therefore, the day was not going as usual.
He woke up with a raging, embarrassing boner, and had to take care of it in his morning shower. When he was brushing his teeth, Remus opened the bathroom door and started brushing his teeth by his side, so Sirius had to escape before he got another morning wood situation. While he was having breakfast, he spilled his tea the moment he saw Remus enter the Great Hall and had to hurry Mary to their class.
“Oi! Black, want to practise after class?” James asked, just as he was standing.
“Sorry, hanging with Moony!” He looked at Remus as he was passing by and said: “see you at the dorm, you sneaky bastard!”
“What about…” he heard Lily asking. Of course she ’d try to push her own agenda over Moony. But Remus had promised they’d see each other.
Sirius knew he hadn’t exactly asked Remus to teach him how to shave “the muggle way”, but he knew that once he got Remus to just be with him, he wouldn’t deny it. He just knew Remus couldn’t deny him anything.
Sirius had prepared a couple of pranks ideas. He’d also prepared some questions related to an essay they had to hand in the following week in case Remus got bored with pranks, damn, he’d even ask some older kid to lend him a T.Rex record they didn’t have in their collection so they could listen to it. Then, after Remus was eased into Sirius’ presence again, he would ask him. And Remus wouldn’t be able to say no.
Sirius ended up skipping their last class because he was feeling a bit nervous. The understatement of the century, that was. He had bothered Mary with his bouncy leg through classes to the point she’d changed seats. He’d been distracted and hadn’t paid any attention whatsoever. He decided to walk straight to the gardens and get some green from some Hufflepuff sixth years, and they even let him smoke with them for a little while, which left Sirius less anxious over the evening he’d prepared.
So he made sure to be in the dorm the moment Remus would walk in, and have his textbooks ready, since he figured it’d be the first thing he’d get bored of. When Remus walked in, Sirius was reading a muggle book while Bowie played in the background.
“Moony, my man, thank you for delighting me with your company this fine afternoon”. Sirius mocked playfully. Remus still wasn’t meeting his eyes, taking his sweater and tie off, like he often did when they were in the dorm by themselves, showcasing his scarred arms and part of his chest.
Sirius’ heart raced just looking at him.
“So what are we doing?” Remus sat on his bed, picking up one of the books he was currently reading.
“I’m glad you asked, because I won’t separate you from your normal activities that much, I actually wanted you to check on this essay…”
Remus gave him some feedback and when the LP ended, Sirius decided to tell him about the album he’d borrowed, and to give Remus the spliff so they could smoke some. Smoking was one of Sirius’ favourite things to see Remus doing, it took some of his anxiousness away and, being honest, he look fucking hot doing it too.
“Marc Bolan has to be a wizard too, Moony, this record is insane” Sirius said from the floor. Remus was sitting on the window sill, finishing the first joint.
“You already said that about Bowie, Pads, you can’t go around saying every genius is a wizard, some humans are magic too” Remus was looking out the window, but Sirius knew his mind was far away, probably on a person he had back home.
Sirius wanted to know everything about Remus’ life, especially the bits he didn’t talk about, like his muggle life, his family, he knew it was an insane thing to wish for, but he wanted to know Remus inside and out. Did Remus have friends back home? Had he joined a gang that year he came back with the shaved head and boots? When did he learn how to smoke, drink and all of that? How had he become a man, while the rest of them were still kids? And his mind couldn’t help but wander back to the most mundane, yet urgent action: when did he learn to shave his face? Sirius knew it sounded ridiculous, but he wanted to be part of every bit of Remus’ life.
So he took a deep breath and asked:
“Teach me how to shave, Moony”.
“Wow, smooth change of conversation topics, Pads”. Remus laughed a bit, and added: “You know I said I wouldn’t”.
“I won’t be as fussy as Prongs, come on”. He got up, took Remus’ wrists and led him to the bathroom. Remus followed him and took the supplies they would need. Sirius’ stomach pulled and a shiver travelled down his spine just thinking about what was about to happen. The blunt had definitely been a good idea.
“Okay, Black, let’s do it”. Remus whispered in a sultry voice.
Remus had picked up a razor, a towel and a can of shaving cream, it smelled manly, a sharp contrast to the type of thoughts Sirius was having about their actions. Sirius leaned against the sink with his hands resting on the sink and Remus stood in front of him, mimicking the scene he’d found a week prior with James in his place.
Maybe it was the gentleness that surrounded the gesture. The fact that he was holding a knife - not literally, but still. Somehow this whole process resembled Remus’ nature. So gentle yet so lethal. Sharp and soft.
“So who taught you?”
“Who taught me what?” Remus answered.
“To shave your face, Moony.”
He blushed. Swallowed. Sirius was so close he could see how the black of Remus’ eyes expanded. They were humming, barely breathing. Whatever this was, whatever was happening, it was a secret. It was their secret. Sirius’ mind tried to remember how he’d found James and Remus a week back, but couldn’t focus on anything else. Just the closeness. The breathing. The firm yet tender grip Remus had on his jaw. Was Moony this soft with James? They certainly weren’t whispering, were they?
“Just a muggle kid from home”.
“Was he this close to you when he taught you?” Sirius wanted to ask. Jealousy staining his mind for a moment. He couldn’t help but think of that scenario. A faceless boy, probably taller than Sirius, gently gripping Remus’ face, telling him what to do. Whispering instructions. The smell of their breaths intertwining, every single gasp being swallowed by the other.
Sirius swallowed again. His mouth suddenly dry.
“Shut up just a bit, okay?” Remus commanded. Sirius wouldn’t dare to disobey. He simply couldn’t when Remus spoke like that. So he just stared. He’d already memorised every single one of Remus’ freckles, after countless mornings by him in the Great Hall, endless evenings “studying”, and many, many stolen looks from his part, Sirius was positive that if Remus Lupin was a subject, he’d get the best out of everyone. But this close, he noticed the pattern of his iris, how his eyes were the prettiest, richest, warmest shade of brown. And right there, Sirius Black decided he was willing to drown in the sweetest chocolate he would ever have the pleasure to taste.
“So you have to stretch your upper lip” Sirius followed the instruction, “and after you apply the shaving cream, you can go ahead and use the razor” Remus’ breath always smelled like chocolate, Sirius wondered if it tasted sweet too. He felt the razor against his skin, Remus’ eyes on him unwavering. “Good boy, don’t move”. Sirius’ insides dropped, and he felt his pants grow tighter. “Then you pat with a towel. Don’t drag it if you don’t want to be irritated, girls wouldn’t like your pretty face to get ruined by such pubescent problems”. Remus patted with the towel gently. Sirius dared to fantasise about how Remus surely thought of him as the most precious thing, and treated him as such.
“I don’t want to ruin my gorgeous face, right?” Remus laughed quietly. They were still so close to each other.
“Right, as if” was all Moony could say. They looked at each other’s eyes for a moment, none of them dared to break the moment by saying anything. Not that Sirius was able to speak at all, damn, he’d even forgotten to breathe.
“Go on, please, Moony”, Sirius begged in the weakest voice. “Just this one time for me”.
If Remus dared to get even closer - not that it was possible - he would be able to feel how hard Sirius had grown inside his uniform. But Sirius had not only grown desperate, he had also become shameless. So what if Remus saw him? He surely knew what he was doing to Sirius. Was he affected too?
Moony applied more lotion to Sirius’ skin and went through the process again, this time making sure that no hair was left in Sirius’ face. He continued on the upper lip, applying the lotion on his skin and slowly passing the razor down his -non existent- moustache. Remus got even closer to his face when doing the sides of Sirius’ mouth, and Sirius thought about how if he wanted, he could kiss his best friend right there.
He sighed.
“I’m almost ready, don’t get antsy”.
“I’m not,” he managed to say. Remus got a bit further to inspect his job, both of them knowing Sirius didn’t have enough hair on his face from this job to take this long, but were silently enjoying the excuse to get closer. They were both testing their limits. They were both pushing their limits.
The taller boy leaned down and took Sirius’ chin again, motioning it upwards, but instead of looking at his upper lip, they stared at each other’s eyes. Blue and brown drowning in lust and uncertainty, both wondering when the other would take the next step.
“Can I…” try and shave yours now?
They heard steps and the dorm door opened, interrupting Sirius mid-sentence. They instantly took a step back, although Sirius was already against the bathroom sink, and Remus decided to flee out of the bathroom. Sirius suddenly became aware of his surroundings, the static sound of the album that had already finished playing, the light outside almost gone completely, and the sound of people downstairs in the Common Room.
“Hiya!” James entered the dorm in a good mood. “Are you teaching Pads how to shave too?” He got closer to them and showed his face; “look how smooth my face is looking, Moony? Am I your best student? I bet Sirius gave you even more trouble than I did! Have you seen the way Lily has been looking at me? She knows I’m already a man”.
Remus laughed and nodded.
“Remus is the one giving me problems, though” Sirius thought, thankful he could pull his sweater down and hide the situation inside his pants.
“Oh, talking about Lily, the girls are looking for you, Lupin, they can’t be away from you just one evening, what did you do to them?” James joked, raising his eyebrows playfully.
“They always are,” Sirius joked, and Potter playfully hit Remus with his elbow. Remus put on his sweater, and when he raised his arms, Sirius could have sworn he saw some fullness around Remus’ zipper too, but the moment passed in the blink of an eye and Remus was already heading downstairs.
“See you later”, he said without even looking at Sirius’ eyes.