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When it happens, it’s a complete and utter accident. Even though it doesn’t exactly look that way on camera.
They’re playing around with their friends during a scheduled break in between filming. The break is much longer than usual due to the fact that the scene is supposed to take place outside and since it is currently rainy season, outside is a monsoon. People keep coming into the room and reassuring them that the storm will pass and filming will begin shortly. But thirty minutes soon turns into an hour, and when it does finally stop raining, the set is flooded. They’re told to hang tight while the crew brainstorms an alternative, but another hour goes by, and the group of seven, five boys and two girls, are left waiting without any idea of what’s happening.
To kill time, they eat their prepared lunches and play games on their phone. Gemini accidentally falls asleep on the couch, messing up his perfectly styled hair. Fourth follows suit not too long after, after curling up into a ball right beside him. They’re awoken when Mark, the only one of their MSP casemates who is a part of this new series, shouts obnoxiously at his phone when he loses a game.
Eventually, they’re all awake, bored, and sick of staring mindlessly at their phone screens, so someone starts a live Instagram video. They start taking questions and doing fun asks. It’s a great time killer and it’s fun getting to interact with fans all over the world.
One person asks about their upcoming project. Someone else asks what their favourite Thai movie is. Another asks them to sing a verse from their current favourite song. They do it. But then, someone asks Gemini to kiss Fourth. Fourth doesn’t even remember who read that comment, but it definitely wasn’t either of them.
Fourth assumes Gemini will laugh it off or shy away like usual. So, he puckers his lips, closes his eyes, and leans in. He expects to be met with Gemini’s palm and a scold, but that’s not what happens. What he doesn’t see with his eyes closed, is Gemini also closes his eyes and leans in.
They meet in the middle.
It takes Fourth a second to realise he is not in fact kissing Gemini’s hand. He feels a ringing in his ears, like a warning signal, but then Gemini’s lips begin to move against his. His lips are soft, and his movements are calculated, but there is no hesitation behind his kisses as he pushes further, deepening the kiss.
Their lips move in a slow and steady rhythm, a dance of desire that seems to last forever. Fourth has heard the phrase “the whole world fades away” but he’s never understood those words until this very moment. It’s just him and Gemini, everything else is irrelevant.
They pull apart but they don’t move far, hovering close, their noses still touching. There’s a small smile playing on both of their faces.
Their moment is ruined when someone makes a noise that sounds like a squeal.
Gemini blinks once, then twice, and then the realisation forms on his face and he shakes his head and pulls away.
His mouth hangs open and his face twists into a mask of distress, as if he had just got a glimpse of the fallout of what just happened, and what he saw was frightening.
Their friends are screaming all around them. One has even gotten out of their chair and is dancing wildly in the background.
Fourth feels his cheeks flush red.
They just kissed. On the lips. For the very first time. And their entire fanbase just witnessed it happen.
.
The livestream is turned off pretty quick after the incident. One of the girls makes a lame excuse about the wifi connection being spotty then hits the end button. No one is going to believe that lie, but there’s nothing they can do about it now.
They just sit there staring at each other. Neither quite sure what the other is thinking. Neither is sure what to say or do.
They just kissed.
Fourth keeps replaying that in his head, over and over. He just kissed Gemini. Gemini just kissed him. And it was nothing like he ever imagined their first kiss to be. Yet somehow it was wonderful and perfect and he really wants to do it again.
“Should we leave?” Someone asks them. He thinks it might have been Mark, but he doesn’t turn his head to check, eyes still locked on Gemini’s.
Fourth is pretty sure he opens his mouth to speak, he wants to say yes, he wants to be alone with Gemini, but nothing comes out.
The voice makes the decision for him. “We’re going to leave you two alone for a minute.”
There’s shuffling, the sound of a door clicking shut, and then suddenly, it’s just the two of them.
Gemini’s mouth is still slightly agape. He looks fear stricken, frozen in place. The only thing that confirms he is still alive and breathing is the fact that he’s still blinking.
Fourth breaks the awkward silence first. “We kissed.” The words come out as a whisper, almost like he’s afraid once the words are spoken aloud, they’ll become untrue.
Does he want them to be untrue? Does he wish he didn’t just kiss Gemini? No. He certainly wishes it happened under different circumstances - and in private, but no, he wouldn’t take it back.
“I’m sorry,” Gemini says.
Fourth feels his heart constrict. “No, please don’t be sorry.”
Gemini stands, pacing a bit. Fourth moves to follow him.
“Thousands of people were watching that live. We just kissed!” Gemini’s voice raises. He’s beginning to panic now. “That’s going to be screen-shotted and shared everywhere. It’s probably already trending! We’re going to get in so much trouble. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“You didn’t mean to kiss me?”
“No! I mean yes. I mean…ugh.” He buries his face into his hands. “I just screwed everything up.”
Fourth feels that sting in the back of his eyes. Sharp and unavoidable, almost like a warning to flee before anyone can see the tears begin to fall. He won’t let them. He’s sure his eyes are red and wet, but he refuses to let any tears fall down his face.
Fourth has to swallow the lump in his throat to choke out, “You didn’t screw everything up.”
“Fourth, you realise how big of a deal this is right? You realise that we’re going to be reprimanded by our managers and have to face a lot of uncomfortable questions.”
He nods.
He does know that. Of course he knows that. Any minute now their phones are going to start ringing and answers are going to be demanded; from their manager, families, even friends. He’s pretty sure he’s already felt his phone vibrate twice in his pocket in the last ten seconds. But they just kissed! And it wasn’t just a peck. They can’t just brush it off and pretend as if they were just fooling around. They just kissed. Lips were moving, and feelings were felt. There is no way people aren’t going to be able to tell that Fourth wanted that kiss, enjoyed it even.
But they just kissed. For the first time. And Fourth has been waiting for that moment for so long, he was practically vibrating with impatience. So yes, he does know they’re likely going to get in trouble, but right now, he doesn’t care, not when he can still feel the tingle of Gemini’s soft, perfect lips against his. Not when he’s so close to finally getting what he’s been longing for all this time.
“I know what we just did. I understand there’s going to be consequences, but I don’t regret it.” Gemini’s face visibly softens. “I regret it being in public, but I don’t regret it being with you.”
“No, I don’t regret it being with you either.” Gemini takes a step towards him. He moves his hands, almost like he’s going to reach out and touch him or pull him into a hug, but decides against it at the last seconds and returns his arms to his sides. “But I really, really wish that didn’t just happen in front of thousands of people.” He sighs. “What are we going to do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“Me?”
Fourth nods.
“I-I…I don’t know.”
Fourth knows what he wants to do and he’s almost certain Gemini wants the same thing.
He knows Gemini felt something during their kiss. He felt the way he tilted his head just enough to add more pressure, the way the tip of his tongue grazed his top lip as if teasing him. He’s never going to forget it. That moment is ingrained in his memory for the rest of his life.
He was more than a willing participant, and Fourth is so tired of playing this game.
“I want to kiss you again.”
“Fourth-”
“We’ve already done it. The damage is done. If we’re going to be put into the spotlight, we might as well make it official. You do feel the same way as I do, right?”
He’s staring at him. Fourth almost thinks he’s going to say no, turn him down. He can see it in his eyes that he wants to. The word is on the tip of his tongue. It would be so much easier to just say no. Pretend everything was a joke and they really are just best friends. But the bond they have is too great, the attraction they feel towards one another too strong. More than that, saying no would be saying no to any chance of them truly being free with one another.
His shoulder relax, as if in defeat, and he says “Of course I do, but-”
Fourth doesn’t let him finish his sentence. He grabs him by the collar of his shirt and brings his lips to his. Gemini hesitates for a split second. He stands there unmoving, and just when Fourth’s about to pull away and begin apologising, Gemini pulls him in close against his body and kisses back with a fervour of everything he is not yet ready to say out loud.
Their mouths move in sync, sliding against each other with the heat and desire that had been simmering between them for months. It’s messy and a little uncoordinated, but so incredibly right.
Fourth feels dizzy with happiness. Being held like this, and kissed like this, by Gemini, finally. Finally. He keeps repeating that word in the back of his mind. He’s been wanting this for so long. So many lost moments. So many missed opportunities.
This isn’t how it was supposed to happen but he doesn’t even care.
Fourth pulls away first, breathing heavy. Their foreheads meet.
Gemini brings his hands to Fourth’s face. His thumb brushes over Fourth’s bottom lip, then he gently tilts Fourth’s head enough to reconnect their lips. It’s tender and sweet and lasts no more than a second or two, but everything they're feeling is affirmed in those few moments.
When they finally move apart, both of them are smiling adoringly.
Gemini is the first to break the silence. “Are we really going to do this?” He whispers.
“I want to. Do you?”
Gemini nods. Fourth doesn’t have to clarify if he truly means it, or if he’s just saying that to appease him. He can see it in his eyes. The breath of relief that they can finally be open with each other and no longer have to hide that part of themselves they bury deep down, where even they themselves pretend it’s not real.
“We’re going to be asked a lot of questions now,” Fourth acknowledges. “Do you think we’re ready for that?”
Gemini thinks about it for a moment before confessing, “no, probably not. But it’ll be worth it.”
Fourth leans in to kiss him again. Their lips are an inch apart when they’re interrupted by the door to the room opening.
They turn to find five heads staring at them. They stand frozen in place, a mix between mouths hung open, and eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Mark is the only one not shocked, staring at them with a knowing look.
Fourth chokes out a laugh. He can’t even try to hold it in. He’s too happy.
Under previous circumstances, he would have moved away from Gemini - or Gemini would have moved away from him, putting as much distance in-between them as possible. Now, he doesn’t have to worry about that. Instead, he falls into Gemini’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his waist, snuggling his head into his t-shirt to hide his giant smile.
Their group of friends erupt into laughter. One of the girls awes really loudly. The tension in the room dissipates into the air.
Five people down, only a few thousand more to go.