Archive of Our Own

One

When Mother Superion told them that they were going to have to split up and law low for a little while after the events of the Vatican, Beatrice immediately volunteers to go with Ava, not quite ready to let the Warrior Nun out of her sight, Mother Superion giving a nod of approval before giving Beatrice the location of an OCS safehouse near by that they could use to stock up on some things they might need, including a small sum of cash that should be enough to get them started wherever they decided to go. 

Bidding Camila, Lilith, and Mother Superion goodbye, Mother Superion promising that she would be in touch with them once they were settled, Beatrice and Ava made their way towards the safehouse, Ava unusually quiet, a far off look in her eyes as they grabbed what they needed from the safehouse before making they way towards the train station, Beatrice reaching over to lace her fingers with Ava's giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, neither one of them moving to pull their hands away for the entire duration of their trip. 

Beatrice decides to take them to a small tourist town in the Swiss Alps, knowing that it would be remote enough that they would be able to stay off the grid while they trained, but close enough to Spain that they would be able to return relatively quickly whenever Mother Superion ordered them to do so. 

Beatrice and Ava arrive in Switzerland early the next morning, having traveled for most of the night, Beatrice leading them to the apartment she had managed to secure for them using the burner phone she had grabbed from the OCS safehouse. As she pushed open the door to said apartment, the first thing she notices is that the apartment is much smaller than she had expected, the entire thing easily visible from where they stood by the door. The second thing she noticed was the fact that because the apartment was so small, there was only one bed, Ava evidently noticing this as well judging by the faint blush on her cheeks. 

Beatrice, despite Ava's arguments that there was more than enough room for both of them in the bed, insists on sleeping on the couch, both because she didn't want to make Ava uncomfortable by sleeping in the same bed as her and because she was honestly not sure if sleeping in the same bed as Ava was a good idea, Beatrice more than aware of the feeling that felt a lot like want that pooled low in the pit of her stomach whenever she was around Ava. 

It very quickly became apparent however, that this couch was not meant to be slept on, Beatrice's muscles growing increasingly stiff and sore with each passing night, something she knows Ava notices judging by the fact that she keeps trying to convince Beatrice that there is more than enough room for them to share the bed, even resorting to offering to take a turn on the couch, Beatrice refusing, arguing that it was important for Ava to get a good night's sleep so she was at the top of her game for training, ignoring Ava's incredulous look at the fact that she basically just admitted that sleeping on the couch was not going to lead to a good night's sleep. 

By the end of the week, having listened to Beatrice toss and turn for the past two hours as she tried to find a comfortable position, slight hisses of pain escaping from her lips every time she did so, Ava finally reaches her breaking point, letting out a frustrated sigh as she leans over to switch her lamp on before sitting up to face Beatrice. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Ava asked, Beatrice jumping slightly as Ava's voice permeated the silence around them. 

"What?" Beatrice asked, sitting up to look over at Ava, infusion etched on her face. 

"You're clearly uncomfortable sleeping on the couch to the point where you're hissing in pain every time you move yet you still refuse to sleep in the bed even though there's more than enough room for both of us... The only reason I can think of as to why is that I did something wrong," Ava said. 

"You haven't done anything wrong," Beatrice assured Ava. 

"Okay, then do I make you uncomfortable or something?" Ava asked, her brow furrowing like the idea of making Beatrice uncomfortable physically pained her. 

"No, of course not," Beatrice said immediately. 

"Then why? There has to be some reason you're willingly subjecting yourself to sleeping on an uncomfortable couch when there's a more comfortable option right here," Ava said, gesturing to the empty spot next to her. 

And Beatrice... well Beatrice could tell that Ava wasn't going to give up until she had the truth so as much as Beatrice wanted to not tell Ava what was really going on, she knew she had to. 

"I don't want to share the bed with you because I don't want to make you uncomfortable or make you think I'm trying to take advantage of you," Beatrice said, looking down at her hands as she does, not sure she could handle looking at Ava right now. 

"What? Bea, why would I be uncomfortable or think you're taking advantage of me?" Ava asked, Beatrice relenting and finally looking up to see Ava looking back at her, genuinely confused. 

"Because I'm... Because I... Because I'm gay," Beatrice finally said, whispering the last part, having never said it out loud before, watching as Ava's eyes widened, realization finally dawning, a huge smile spreading across the Warrior Nun's face. 

"First of all, I'm really proud of you for saying that out loud, I know that can't have been easy for you. Second of all, I know... I knew when you were telling me about Sister Melanie that that was your way of telling me about yourself. I meant what I said then, Bea, and I mean it when I say it now... you are beautiful and there is nothing about you that makes me uncomfortable or makes me think that you are trying to take advantage of me. So if that's what's been holding you back, I promise you that there is nothing to worry about and that I'm truly okay with sharing a bed with you. So will you please get over here, if not for yourself, then for me because I cannot take another night of you sleeping on that couch when I know you're uncomfortable and in pain," Ava practically begged, letting out a relieved sigh when Beatrice finally relented, making her way over to the bed. 

Unfortunately, even though Beatrice was at least now in the bed with her, Ava could still send that Beatrice was uncertain and tense about this new arrangement and so after switching off the lamp, bathing the room in darkness once again, Ava allowed her hand to snake across the space between them, lacing her fingers together with Beatrice's, giving it a comforting squeeze, Beatrice finally relaxing besides her, a quiet "thank you" falling from her lips into the darkness, both of them falling asleep relatively quickly now that they were no longer worried about the other, their hands still intertwined between them. 

And when Beatrice wakes in the middle of the night to find that Ava had gravitated towards her in her sleep, her face nestled in the crook of Beatrice's neck, legs tangled together, their still joined hands held snuggle against Ava's chest, she can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, sharing a bed with Ava wasn't so bad after all. 

Two

Beatrice and Ava, both used to having to adapt to new situations, settle into a routine relatively quickly after arriving in Switzerland. They spent their mornings training in the small clearing Beatrice had found near the lake, their afternoons and evenings working at the bat, and whatever free time they had relaxing in their apartment or exploring the variety of small, second-hand shops located in the main square and what they had to offer. 

The longer they spend in Switzerland, the more time Ava spends watching Beatrice, wanting to know as much as she could about the nun. In doing so, she slowly starts to realize how everything she does is blanketed with some invisible force of expectation. 

She first notices it on their excursions into town... while Ava always finds something to get herself, excited to finally have her own spending money, Beatrice rarely got any thing and if she did, it was only ever things they needed. At first, she had thought that it was because Beatrice simply didn't want anything. The more she paid attention though, the more she saw the way her eyes would linger on little knick-knacks that she wanted or the way her fingers would brush along the spines of books that caught her attention, a soft smile on her face and it was then that Ava realized that it wasn't that Beatrice didn't want anything, but that she wouldn't let herself get them even if she wanted to. 

Once she made that realization, she started to see the weight of the expectation Beatrice felt she had to meet in everything she did, the way she would never pay attention to what she wanted, always deferring to Ava when it came to deciding what they would order for dinner or what movie they would watch, the way she wouldn't let herself relax until she did whatever task she was completing perfectly, or the way she would always keep her emotions in check when she didn't have to... every thing she did was done with the purpose of being who she thought others wanted her to be rather than simply being herself. 

It's not until she comes home one evening after a shift at the bar to the sound of Beatrice's frustrated voice coming from the kitchen and the smell of something burning filling the apartment that she realizes just how heavy those expectations weigh on her. 

"Bea?" Ava called out hesitantly, making her way towards the kitchen just in time to see Beatrice pull a chunk of blackened something out of the oven, her jaw clenched, clearly upset, "Is everything okay in here?"

Beatrice must have not heard Ava initially call out because as Ava's voice rang out from behind her, she startled, whipping around, eyes wide, clearly surprised by the sight of Ava standing there, eyebrow quirked, taking in the scene before her. 

"I didn't hear you come in. I... wanted to make us a nice dinner, but I read the instructions incorrectly and set the temperature too high and we'll..." Beatrice said, gesturing to the burnt mess now settled on the counter, pausing momentarily, looking down at the floor before continuing, "I'm sorry."

"Bea, there is nothing to apologize for, these things happen, mistakes happen," Ava said reassuringly. 

"I know, I just... I should be able to make a simple dinner without burning it to a crisp, especially when doing so just involves reading and following instructions," Beatrice said, Ava able to tell from the clenching and unclenching of Beatrice's jaw, that she was genuinely upset with this burn of events. 

"Bea... hey... it's okay, I promise. Now, why don't you go order us a pizza with whatever toppings you want, I'll clean this all up, and then we can watch a movie?" Ava suggested, just wanting to get Beatrice to focus on something else, Beatrice looking like she wanted to protest, before eventually nodding in agreement, making her way towards the living room to place their order while Ava began to clean up. 

A little over an hour later, after Ava had finished cleaning up the kitchen and the pizza had arrived, Ava not remotely surprised to see that Beatrice had chosen the pizza toppings she knew Ava liked most, Beatrice and Ava were settled on the couch, a quiet silence settling around them as they ate their pizza and watched a movie. 

And while outwardly, everything seem to be okay, Ava could tell from the slight furrow of Beatrice's brow that she was very much still thinking about what had happened in the kitchen, and while Ava would normally just give Beatrice her space to work through it, now that she had finally started to realize just how weighed down by expectations Beatrice was, she couldn't bring herself to not say something. 

"Bea?" Ava asked, leaning forward to place her plate on the coffee table before turning slightly to face Beatrice. 

"Hmm?" Beatrice asks, her eyes becoming a bit more focused as her attention is drawn away from whatever it was that she had been thinking about. 

"I just... I know we always say that you are great at literally everything you do, and don't get me wrong, you are genuinely amazing at most of the things that you do, but you do know that we don't actually expect you to be great at everything, right?" Ava asked, realizing now that she was aware of the weight of expectation that Beatrice carried every day, that there was the possibility that Beatrice had not realized that they were just joking and had actually internalized their comments as an expectation they had of her. 

"I... do," Beatrice said, not sounding all that convincing, refusing to meet Ava's eyes. 

"Are you sure?" Ava asked, fixing Beatrice with a look that was very clearly meant to convey that she did not believe that Beatrice was actually sure, Beatrice hesitating for a moment like she was actually considering trying to convince Ava that she was sure, before her entire body slumped, resignation in her eyes. 

"i know that you guys don't actually expect me to be great at everything I do, at least, deep down I do. I just... a lot of the time I struggle with not having those expectations for myself," Beatrice admitted. 

"Can I ask why?" Ava asked tentatively, not wanting to push too hard, knowing that Beatrice struggled with talking about herself, especially when it involved her having to be vulnerable. 

For a moment, silence settled around them, Ava watching as a myriad of emotions flashed across Beatrice's face as she tried to decide what to say, the nun finally taking a deep breath as she began to talk again. 

"When I was growing up, my parents, as I'm sure you could probably guess from other conversations we have had about them in the past, were really only concerned about their image and maintaining a certain level of importance within their social circles... I learned pretty early on in my life that this meant they had certain expectations for me so that I also fit this image they were trying to project... and when I didn't meet these expectations, they would look at me with such disdain and disappointment that it felt like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to experience that look as little as possible so I threw myself into becoming the person that they wanted me to be... I focused less on the things I wanted and more on the things they wanted me to want... I joined all of the clubs and sports I could fit into my schedule in the hopes of making them proud... I spent whatever spare time I had studying to make sure I got the best grades knowing that anything less wouldn't be acceptable... Everything I did was done with the knowledge that what made me important to my parents was what I would offer them, what I could contribute to help them maintain their image. Eventually, it just became second-nature to the point where even now, I still hear the voice in the back of my mind telling me that what I'm doing isn't good enough, telling me that if I don't do better, then the people in my life won't want me around anymore because I don't have anything to offer them," Beatrice finished, knowing that she had been rambling, but knowing that if she didn't get it all out now, then she may never get it out, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she did finish, looking up at Ava to see the Warrior Nun looking back at her with such tenderness, her heart skipped a beat in her chest at the sight. 

"First of all, I am so sorry that you had to go through that," Ava said, reaching forward to brush a couple of stray tears from Beatrice's cheeks, the nun not even realizing she had been crying, so focused on what she was saying. 

"You don't need to apologize, it wasn't your fault," Beatrice said. 

"I know, but I'm still sorry. You deserved better than that, you deserved a better childhood than that where you were able to just be yourself, where you were loved for who you were, not what you could offer, which bring me to my next point... when it comes to you and I, there are no expectations. I don't want to be in your life because of the things you can offer me, I want to be in your life because you are important to me. I don't want you to feel like you ever have to be something you aren't for me... if you want something, you don't have to hide that. If you don't want something, you don't have to hide that either. But most importantly, I don't want or need you to be perfect, I just want you to be you. I'm never going to think less of you because you make a mistake, I promise," Ava said, allowing her hand to drop from Beatrice's face to her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. 

"Thank you, Ava. I... I can't promise that it will be easy, that I won't still struggle on occasion, but I can promise to try. And well... maybe... maybe you could help me... Maybe just remind me every once in a while that it's okay to not be so... perfect?" Beatrice asked shyly, not all that used to asking others for help. 

"I will be there by your side every step of the way, to help you in whatever way you need," Ava promised with a soft smile. 

And slowly but surely, things did start to change... Beatrice slowly began to let go of the expectations that had been placed on her and the expectation that she placed on herself, slowly allowing herself to focus more on the things she wanted and for the first time in a long tie, she actually started to feel like she was who she was supposed to be. And Ava? Well, as promised, Ava was by her side the entire time

Three

When Beatrice and Ava weren't making their way through town doing some shopping on their days off, it was usually because they were instead spending their time simply relaxing in their apartment, Beatrice settled on one end of the couch with whatever book she was currently working her way through while Ava settled on the other end, flipping through whatever magazine she had purchased during their last shopping trip or watching something quietly on the television, both of them content to just relax when so much of their time was spent doing something. 

Or at least that's how it started. 

Eventually though, as Beatrice and Ava slowly became increasingly comfortable with each other, Ava found herself spending less time reading her magazine or watching television and more time watching Beatrice, absolutely mesmerized by how expressive her face was as she reacted to whatever it was she was reading, a stark contrast from her usual expressiveness, always careful not to give too much away. 

Ava, of course, was extremely careful in these moment, knowing that if Beatrice was aware of the fact that she was being watched, she would become self-conscious, which means she would start to control her reactions, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin something that Beatrice was able to genuinely enjoy without there being any sort of expectations. 

Unfortunately, Beatrice, as observant as she is, does eventually notice that she's being watched, Ava too distracted with memorizing the way Beatrice's eyes would crinkle whenever she would laugh at something she was reading or the way she would bite her bottom lip whenever she got to a particularly interesting part of the book to notice that Beatrice's eyes are now on her, at least not until Beatrice's voice broke her out of her trance. 

"Are you going to stare at me all afternoon?" Beatrice asks, Ava's eyes snapping up to meet hers, surprised to find Beatrice looking at her with an amused smirk of her eyebrow, apparently not all that bothered by Ava's attention.

"Sorry... I just... I don't know if you know this or not, but you are very entertaining to watch whenever you read. I can tell what you're feeling while you read because of the expressions on your face," Ava admitted sheepishly. 

"I... was not are of this," Beatrice said, her cheeks blushing slightly at the idea of Ava watching her so closely that she knew what her different facial expressions meant. 

"What are you reading anyway?" Ava asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. 

And so Beatrice told her. 

At first, Beatrice had given her a somewhat vague answer, assuming that Ava was only asking in an attempt to draw attention away from the fact that she had been caught staring and not because she actually cared, having never met someone who was genuinely interested in hearing about the books that she was reading, most people in her life believing that she was wasting her time with "such nonsense", or at least, that's what her parents had always said. 

But Ava was genuinely interested in what she was reading, not satisfied with Beatrice's vague answer, immediately asking more questions until eventually, Beatrice no longer held back, enthusiastically giving her a play-by-play of everything she had read up until that point, Ava's magazine long forgotten as she listened, her attention full focused on Beatrice, soaking up everything, absolutely captivated by the story. 

Eventually, Ava knew as much about the story as Beatrice did since Beatrice had not yet finished the book, something that Ava was not at all thrilled about. 

"What do you mean you don't know how it ends!?" Ava asked, shooting up from her spot on the couch, looking at Beatrice like she had just been betrayed in the worst possible way. 

"Well, I haven't finished it yet," Beatrice said with a chuckle, clearly amused by Ava's outrage, never in a million years expecting Ava to be so into something like this. 

"You should have told me that before you went and built up all that suspense and got me hooked. How am I supposed to just go on living my life without knowing how it ends?" Ava asked, flopping back on the couch dramatically, letting out a frustrated sigh, shooting a glance at Beatrice who was laughing next to her, "It's not funny!"

"It's a little funny," Beatrice said truthfully, dodging the pillow Ava threw in her direction, her laughter growing. 

"Mean!" Ava hugged, crossing her arms over her chest, full on pouting. 

"Do you want to borrow it so you can see how it ends?" Beatrice offered, holding the book out towards Ava. 

"What about you?" Ava asked. 

"What about me?" Beatrice asked, not entirely following. 

"Don't you want to finish it? It is your book after all," Ava pointed out. 

"Oh, of course, but I can finish it after you're done. You seem like you're going to spontaneously combust if you don't find out how it ends soon and we can't have that," Beatrice teased, Ava rolling her eyes, fully aware of the fact that she may have been just a little bit dramatic. 

"What if..." Ava began before snapping her mouth shut, stopping herself from saying whatever it was she was about to say. 

"What if...?" Beatrice prodded, curious about what Ava was going to say. 

"What if you just... read out loud? That way we can both find out how it ends together," Ava suggested with a shrug. 

"Really?" Beatrice asked, genuinely surprised by Ava's suggestion. 

"Yeah... I mean, if you want to," Ava said, a bit of uncertainty in her voice, not entirely confident in her suggestion now that she had said it out loud. 

"Yeah... okay," Beatrice agreed, her stomach fluttering slightly at the idea of reading out loud to Ava, such a simple act feeling oddly intimate. 

And so from that point on, whenever Beatrice and Ava would settle on the couch, instead of Beatrice silently reading to herself while Ava flipped through a magazine or watched something on television, Beatrice started to read aloud, Ava listening intently beside her, as they slowly finished the book, Ava thrilled with the ending. And it didn't stop there. Both of them enjoyed this time together so much that after they finished the first book, they started another one and then another one after that, Beatrice reading out loud while Ava listened quickly becoming one of their favorite ways to spend their time off. 

The longer this went on, the more comfortable Ava got, slowly stretching out more and more along the couch as her and Beatrice continued to grow closer until eventually, her go to position became her lying with her head resting in Beatrice's lap, her legs stretched out along the length of the couch. 

The first time she had moved to lie like this, she knew it was a risk, knowing that Beatrice wasn't entirely a fan of physical touch even though she seemed to allow it more when it came from Ava. So when she went to rest her head in Beatrice's lap, she held her breath, feeling Beatrice's entire body freeze momentarily as she did so, until slowly, she felt Beatrice's body relax, Ava fighting back a small smile, pleasantly surprised that Beatrice was allowing this. 

Her surprise grew when one afternoon, as Beatrice softly read out loud from the current novel they were working on, she suddenly felt Beatrice's fingers start to slowly card through her hair. At first, Ava thought that Beatrice must not have been aware of what she was doing, that it was just one of those automatic things that someone does without thinking about it. But when she glanced up to find Beatrice steadfastly avoiding her gaze, a slight blush on her cheeks, Ava knew everything about this was intentional, a giant smile spreading across her face at the realization, not missing the slight quirk of Beatrice's lips in response. 

And if Beatrice began to become more comfortable initiating physical contact after that... well, Ava was definitely not complaining because whenever Beatrice would reach out to take her hand or brush a fallen strand of hair from her face or even just place her hand on the small of her back whenever she would pass behind her, Ava would feel a flutter in the pit of her stomach, a flutter that she wanted to spend the rest of her life experiencing. 

Four

Beatrice and Ava spent a good majority of their time in Switzerland training. After all, while it definitely felt like they were simply on vacation, the entire point of them being here was to get Ava as prepared as she could be for whenever they were called back to face Adriel. 

So every morning, despite Ava's many protests that nobody should be awake so early, they made their way down to the clearing near the lake that Beatrice had found to train, the location far enough away from the town and the main path winding through the forest that Ava could use the halo without worrying about anyone hearing them or seeing them, but cool enough due to the breeze coming off the lake that they didn't feel like they were going to collapse from heat exhaustion, even on the warmest day. 

This morning was no different, Beatrice shaking Ava awake far too early, Ava grumbling the entire time they made their way to the clearing. 

While Beatrice had initially attempted to refute Ava's complaints, wanting to make sure that Ava understood the importance of what they were doing and how dangerous Adriel truly was, especially now that he would also have the chance to grow stronger, she quickly realized that Ava's complaining was more due to nerves and trying to keep things as light and normal as possible because whenever they actually started training, Ava would be laser focused, Beatrice knowing from the look in Ava's eyes that she understood the seriousness of what they were doing and so now, Beatrice just stayed quiet and let her complain, sometimes even indulging her, knowing it would end once they started training. 

Today, as they reached the clearing, Beatrice informed Ava that they would be working on combining the defensiveness of phasing with the offensiveness of an attack, explaining to Ava that it would benefit her in battle to be able to phase through an enemies attack and then immediately attack them before they have the opportunity to go on the defense themselves. 

It took a little while for Ava to understand the mechanics of what Beatrice was looking for, the nun walking her through her vision slowly at first, but eventually, Ava started to really get the hang of it, Beatrice and Ava lightly sparing so Ava could start to get the hang of the timing, Ava and Beatrice's smiles growing as she slowly got better and better until the move almost became second-nature. 

Of course, as with most things these days, as soon as things started to go right, they very quickly turned and went very wrong. 

Ava isn't entirely sure what happens or how, but one minute, Ava is phasing through Beatrice's onslaught of round houses and upper cuts and the next, she's turning to initiate a barrage of her own attacks only to find Beatrice on the ground, clutching her ankle, her face screwed up in pain. 

"Bea! Oh my god, are you okay!?" Ava asked worriedly, rushing over to Beatrice's side, crouching down next to her, immediately reaching out to comfort Beatrice before stopping herself, noticing the tight coil of Beatrice's body, figuring this might be a good moment to maintain some physical distance, at least until she received a sign from Beatrice indicating otherwise. 

"I'm fine... I just stepped wrong. Lost my footing and twisted my ankle. I'll be fine though, let's keep going," Beatrice said through gritted teeth. 

And well, Ava knew immediately that Beatrice was very much not okay, but Beatrice being Beatrice, unwilling to show any signs of weakness, even around Ava, immediately begins to pick herself up off the ground, fully intending for them to continue training. 

It becomes very clear, very quickly however, that they are not going to be continuing their training today, because the second Beatrice moves to put any weight on her ankle, she let's out an agonizing hiss of pain, her face paling slightly, as she immediately transfers all her weight back to her good leg, her jaw clenched in frustration. 

"Okay, no, we're done. You are in no shape to train," Ava said immediately, absolutely refusing to let Beatrice hurt herself even more because she is too stubborn to stop. 

"I'm fine, Ava," Beatrice grumbled, even as she continued to keep her weight off her ankle. 

"If you're fine, then put your full weight on your ankle right now," Ava challenged, knowing that as stubborn as Beatrice was, she wouldn't go as far as intentionally putting herself in excruciating pain as she would if she were to attempt to put her full weight on her ankle. 

Even then, for a moment, Beatrice looked like she was genuinely considering attempting to do it, before her better judgment kicked in, her body slumping slightly in defeat. 

"Fine. We can go home," Beatrice grumbled 

"Thank you," Ava said, making her way over to Beatrice's side, wrapping Beatrice's arms around her shoulders while her arm snaked around the nun's waist so she could help support as much of Beatrice's weight as possible. 

Slowly bur surely, they make their way back toward their apartment, Beatrice growing paler and paler with every jostle of her ankle until finally, they make it back to their apartment. 

Initially, Ava moves to help Beatrice hobble towards the couch, knowing from all the television she had watched while at the orphanage that Beatrice needed to ice and elevate her ankle as soon as possible. Beatrice, on the other hand, insisted that Ava help her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up, knowing that she wouldn't be able to relax is she didn't, Ava reluctantly accepting, helping her make her way into the bathroom and perch on the toilet, disappearing momentarily to grab Beatrice some fresh clothes, telling the nun she would be right outside if she needed anything. 

It takes a while, even the slightest bit of movement sending excruciating pain shooting through Beatrice's ankle, which was not the size of a baseball and rapidly turning black and blue, but eventually, Beatrice is able to get  herself cleaned up and changed into the clean clothes that Ava had brought her, before moving to make her way out of the bathroom. 

Rationally, Beatrice knew that she probably should have asked Ava for help, but after successfully maneuvering herself around the bathroom with minimal issue, her stubbornness returned, rationalizing that while she could admit that she couldn't train anymore and that she needed help getting home, she was perfectly capable of getting around their apartment by herself. 

Unfortunately, because she had been so concerned with making sure she didn't jostle her ankle too much, she did not realize just how much water she had gotten everywhere until she went to hop towards the door and slipped a little bit, instinctively doing to catch herself with her injured foot. 

Thankfully, she managed to catch her balance before her full weight came down on her ankle, but even the little bit of weight she did place on it caused her to cry out in pain, a wave of nausea washing over her at the severity. 

"Bea? Is everything okay?" Ava's worried voice asked from outside the door. 

"Yeah, I just... can you help me?" Beatrice asked, in far too much pain at this point to care about doing things herself. 

"Yeah, sure," Ava said, opening the door slowly, not quite sure what to expect, her expression softening to one of sympathy at the sight of Beatrice standing there, knuckles white from where they gripped the counter, jaw clenched, her chest rising and falling faster than normal, clearly in pain. 

Without a second though, Ava once again made her way over to Beatrice, once again supporting her weight as she helped the nun out of the bathroom and over to the couch, making sure she was settled, her ankle propped up on a stack of pillows, before disappearing into the kitchen to get some ice, returning moments later, gingerly placing it on Beatrice's ankle, apologizing profusely as Beatrice hissed, both in pain at the pressure of having something on her ankle and at the cold from the ice. 

For the remainder of the day, Beatrice and Ava watched whatever they could find on television, and while Ava tried to help Beatrice in whatever way she could, Beatrice, not wanting to be seen as a burden, adamantly insists that she doesn't need anything, only allowing Ava to get her ice whenever she needed it. 

And while Ava tried to remain patient, knowing that Beatrice refusing her help wasn't because of her, but was because of how she was raised, she was also human, so when dinner came and Beatrice insisted that she could make her own dinner despite the fact that she was still very much in pain, Ava had enough. 

"Seriously, Bea? You're injured, so no, you can't make your own dinner and even if you could, you don't have to. Why won't you just let me help you?" Ava practically yelled before grabbing the melting ice bag off of Beatrice's ankle, feeling a bit guilty when Beatrice winced in pain, before making her way into the kitchen, knowing she needed to cool off before she said something she regretted. 

A little over fifteen minutes later, Ava returns to the living room with two sandwiches, potato chips, and a new bag of ice, which she positioned on Beatrice's ankle before settling back down on the couch, a tense silence settling around them as they ate. 

"I'm sorry," Beatrice said eventually, her voice barely above a whisper, feeling guilty, knowing that her mood and now she's been treating Ava, was less than ideal. 

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled," Ava said immediately, the tension in the room dissipating now that Ava knew that Beatrice wasn't mad at her for snapping. 

"You had every right to. You were just trying to help me and I was making that extremely difficult. And I know it doesn't make my behavior any better, but it truly has nothing to do with you, I just... I've spent so much of my life having to take care of myself while also trying to conform to who I thought I should be, which included making sure I was never a burden to anyone because they wouldn't want me around if I was and it's just... hard to not revert back into that mindset sometimes, especially when I'm hurt," Beatrice explained. 

"I know Bea, I really do. But remember, I'm not your parents, or anyone else in your life for that matter. I want to help you because I care about you and want to help carry some of the burden I know you've lived with for so long. If I didn't want to help, I wouldn't ask and I promise, if you ask for my help, let yourself be a little vulnerable around me every one in a while, I'm not going to leave. I'm in this Bea, completely, no matter what, in this life and the next," Ava said emphatically, reaching forward to lace her fingers with Beatrice's, giving them a squeeze, an action that had become second nature at this point. 

"In this life and the next? You sure you're up for that?" Beatrice teased, trying to inject some levity into the conversation, not a stranger for the seriousness of that promise. 

"I'm up for anything if it involves you, Bea," Ava said sincerely, knowing that she could have taken the out that Beatrice had given her, but deciding not to, wanting to make sure Beatrice knew that she was truly in this no matter what, that she wanted to be in Beatrice's life no matter what. 

"Good," Beatrice said, unsure of what else to say in the moment, Ava getting all the answer she needs though as a huge smile spread across Beatrice's face as she went back to her sandwich, Ava now knowing, without a doubt, that while Beatrice may still struggle sometimes, she was in this too. 

After that, Beatrice allows Ava to help her... she doesn't protest when Ava insists that she stays home from work the next day and stays home herself so she can take care of her, doesn't protest when Ava offers to do things for her, or insist they skip training until she's better... she allows Ava to be the person she leans on which not only makes Ava happy, but helps Beatrice feel lighter too, having someone she can rely on. 

And when her ankle heals and they are able to return to their regular routine, Beatrice still allows herself to lean on Ava and to allow Ava to take care of her just as much as she takes care of Ava, finally realizing that allowing others to support her didn't make her weak, but strong, because knowing she had Ava by her side no matter what... it made her feel like she could do anything. 

Five

They have been in Switzerland for a little over three months when Beatrice finally breaks. 

To be completely honest, Ava is surprised it didn't happen sooner. While Beatrice had gotten a lot better about opening up to Ava about the things she was struggling with, Ava knew that there was still a lot that Beatrice wasn't talking about, the weight of which Ava could clearly see in Beatrice's eyes, even in their most relaxed moments. 

Like every other day, Ava and Beatrice had been up at the crack of dawn to train, both of them making their way back into their apartment before most people in town were even awake yet. 

Ava, knowing that Beatrice was scheduled to check in with Mother Superion, made her way into the bathroom to shower first, finishing up and exiting the bathroom just as Beatrice finished up her call with Mother Superion. 

Ava could tell immediately from Beatrice's body language that Mother Superion didn't have any new updates, immediately deciding to make them some pancakes for breakfast, Beatrice telling Ava once that they were her comfort food and never failed to cheer her up. 

Before she had the chance to take more than two steps however, she watched as Beatrice sank down on the couch, her face falling into her hands, her shoulders starting to shake as sobs wracked her body. Without a second thought, Ava allowed the towel she was using to dry her hair to fall to the floor as she quickly made her way over to the couch and pulled Beatrice into her arms, Beatrice sinking into her embrace willingly, the nun burying her face into the crook of Ava's neck, Ava just holding her close, murmuring reassuring words into her ear, slowly rocking them back and forth in what she hoped was a soothing manner. 

Ava isn't entirely sure how long they sit there, Ava's shirt slowly growing wetter and wetter with Beatrice's tears, but eventually, Beatrice is able to calm herself down, taking a few stuttering breaths before pulling herself back to Ava's embrace, Ava not even hesitating to reach out and wipe the tears from Beatrice's cheeks, reveling in the way Beatrice's eyes slipped shut contently at her touch. 

"Are you okay?" Ava asked, concern in her voice as she searched Beatrice's eyes, having never seen Beatrice break down like this. 

"Yeah... I just... yeah," Beatrice said, taking another stuttering breath telling Ava that while Beatrice may no longer be crying, she was definitely not okay. 

"Talk to me, Bea, what's going on?" Ava implored, allowing her hand to lace with Beatrice's, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand as she watched Beatrice try and decide whether to tell her what was wrong, her body eventually slumping, the nun relenting, knowing Ava wouldn't let go until she knew what was going on. 

"I'm just frustrated... don't get me wrong, despite the less than ideal circumstances that have brought us here, I have genuinely enjoyed our time together these past three months and how much you've helped me let go of a lot of what I've struggled with for my entire life, and you've made remarkable progress with your training, but that's about it. Mother Superion hasn't had any updates the entire time we've been here on how long we may be here or any updates on Mary. We're no closer to knowing where Adriel is or what his plans are than we were when we left the Vatican. We have no idea what's going on with Duretti and the Vatican or whether or not the OCS is even on our side anymore. We know nothing. The worst past is, as frustrating as not having answers is, I'm even more frustrated by the fact that there's a part of me that doesn't want answers because that means I get to stay here with you, living this little life we built for ourselves instead of having to leave to go face Adriel, which is preposterous because as long as Adriel is alive, we're never truly safe, not even here," Beatrice rambled, Ava just listening, knowing that Beatrice needed to get all of this out. 

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Ava asked, a small lump forming in the pit of her stomach at the thought of Beatrice dealing with all of this alone.

Beatrice just shrugged. 

"I just... I didn't want to worry you. And I guess a part of me thought you might be mad or disappointed if I told you that I didn't necessarily want to leave to face the thing that you've been working your ass off to prepare for, that I want to ignore the man putting you in danger just because I enjoy spending time here with you like this," Beatrice said, looking somewhat embarrassed and ashamed as she often did when she shared her wants and desires with Ava, still very much struggling with the notion that she was allowed to want and desire things. 

"First of all, I want you to worry me with these things. As good as you are at hiding things, I'm better at reading you which means I know when something is bothering you. I would rather worry and know what's going on than worry and not know what's going on because at least if I know what's going on, then you're not having to deal with it alone. I never want you to feel like you're alone in any of this because you're not, okay?" Ava asked, her gaze glued to Beatrice's face, wanting to make sure the nun truly understood that they were in this together. 

"Okay," Beatrice agreed, her cheeks reddening slightly as they typically did whenever Ava's full attention was on her. 

"Second of all, while I know that eventually, we're going to figure out where Adriel is and what he's up to which means that we will eventually get the call from Mother Superion to return to face Adriel, there's a part of me, a much larger part of me than I want to admit, that also doesn't want to get that call because it means we would have to leave here and I really don't want to leave here," Ava admitted. 

"Really?" Beatrice asked, the embarrassment and shame that had previously adorned her features being replaced with relief. 

"Really. These past few months with you... I've been the happiest I've ever been, even with the looming threat of Adriel. I'm terrified of the day we get the call to return and face Adriel because I don't want to lose this, to lose us. But I also know that as much as I love what we have here, it's temporary and I... I don't want this to be temporary," Ava admitted, feeling bold, knowing she was getting dangerously close to admitting the thing neither of them had been willing to admit up until now. 

"I don't want this to be temporary either," Beatrice admitted quietly after a moment of silence, watching as a radiant smile flashed across Ava's lips before her expression grew serious once more. 

"Which means we're going to have to face and defeat Adriel and when that happens, I want you to be prepared too and that's not going to happen if you're constantly worrying about al of this by yourself. We're in this together, so please let me help carry some of the burden," Ava pleaded.

"Okay, I will," Beatrice said, and she meant it. As much as she still struggled with opening up, she genuinely wanted to do this with Ava and she knew being more open was a part of that and so she would do everything she could to let Ava help. 

"Good. Now, why don't you go take a shower and I am going to make us some breakfast," Ava declares, giving Beatrice's knee a pat before standing up and making her way towards the kitchen. 

"What are you making?" Beatrice asked, half out of curiosity and half out of concern knowing that while Ava could make certain things, she struggled with others. 

"I was thinking pancakes, might even throw some chocolate chips in there," Ava said as she began pulling everything out. 

"Sounds perfect," Beatrice said. 

And they were. 

While Ava hadn't been the greatest at making pancakes when she first tried, she very quickly got better, Beatrice later finding out that Ava had convinced Hans to teach her how to make them, the Warrior Nun adamant that she had to know how to make Beatrice's comfort food. 

After breakfast and a quick nap, Beatrice and Ava make their way toward the bar for their shift before returning home later evening, both of them settling on the couch for a movie night since they had tomorrow off. 

Eventually, they both make their way to bed and as Ava gets settled under the covers, darkness settling around them, Beatrice's hesitant voice bills the silence around them. 

"Ava?" Beatrice calls out into the darkness, nerves clear in her voice. 

"Hmm?" Ava hums in response 

"There's another reason I don't want to get the call from Mother Superion that it's time to come back and face Adriel," Beatrice admitted. 

"And what's that?" Ava asked, turning on her side to face Beatrice, propping her head up on her hand, the pale moonlight streaming through the curtain giving the room just enough light that she could see Beatrice worrying her bottom lip like she did when she was very nervous. 

"I'm scared," Beatrice admitted with a whisper. 

"Well that's understandable. We struggled with defeating Adriel the last time we faced him and that was before he had the chance to regain his strength," Ava said, more than willing to admit she was also scared of when they would eventually face Adriel again. 

"That's not what I'm scared of, I mean, I am scared of that, but I'm talking about something else," Beatrice said. 

"Okay. So what are you talking about?" Ava asked. 

"I'm scared of losing you, Ava... I'm terrified that you won't make it through the battle, that in order to defeat Adriel, we have to destroy the halo and that doing so means losing you too. I don't know what I would do without you Ava, I don't think I would survive losing you because well, I'm falling in love with you," Beatrice confessed, the last few words said in a whisper, like Beatrice nerves got the best of her as she said them. 

"Bea, look at me," Ava said softly, fighting to keep the smile that wanted to break free at the fact that Beatrice was falling in love with her, at bay, knowing this was a serious and important moment. 

And it took a moment, but eventually, Beatrice took a deep breath before turning to look at Ava, so many emotions swimming in her eyes. 

"I cannot promise you that I will make it through the fight with Adriel no more than you can promise me that you will make it through. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us to make promises about something neither one of us have any control over. What I can promise is that I will do everything I can to make it through because well, I'm falling in love with you too Bea," Ava confessed, reaching forward to swipe away a tear from Beatrice's cheek with the pad of her thumb. 

"Really?" Beatrice asked like she couldn't quite believe what she heard. 

"Completely. I have been for a while now, to be honest," Ava admitted. 

"Me too," Beatrice said, a grin spreading across her lips. 

And while Ava tried to stop herself, tried to be patient, the sight of Beatrice lying there, radiant smile on her face, looking at her with so much love in her eyes... well... Ava couldn't resist, leaning forward to capture Beatrice's lips with hers. 

The second their lips touch, it feels like the missing puzzle piece finally slots into place, like they both finally found everything they had been missing in their lives up until then. 

Neither one of them are entirely sure how long they lie there, wrapped up in each other's embrace, both of them more than willing to explore this newfound intimacy as both lips and hands explored unfamiliar territory, but when they eventually decide to get some sleep, Beatrice's head resting on Ava's chest, their legs tangled together, they both knew that whenever that call does come that it's time to face Adriel, they were both going to fight with everything they had because if there was one thing they knew with absolute certainty, it was that neither one of them was ready for this to come to an and, not when they were just beginning. 

One

Ava was gone. 

Ave was gone and Beatrice didn't know what to do. 

Beatrice had meant what she said when she had told Ava in the darkness of their tiny Switzerland apartment that she didn't think she could survive without Ava and right now, sitting outside the now quiet arch that she had just sent Ava through, one was pretty sure she was right because she felt like she couldn't breathe, like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and sent through the arch after Ava. 

Beatrice didn't know what to do but she knew she had to do something, that she needed to stop herself from feeling like this and so she did the only thing she knew hot to do when she felt like everything was falling apart and shut down. 

In a matter of minutes, all of those walls and defenses that Ava had carefully ore down during their time in Switzerland were built back up bigger and stronger than before, the carefully blank expression she had spent so much of her life wearing so she didn't give anything away back on her face as she made her way out of the building and into the waiting van, keeping her eyes forward, steadfastly ignoring the looks of concern shot her way by Mother Superion, Camila, and Lilith, resigned to the fact that the only way she was going to make it through this was shoving everything she was feeling away. 

And that's exactly what she did. 

She pretended like it didn't kill her to be back at Cat's Cradle with the shadow of the movements she shared with Ava looking around every corner, like it didn't kill her whenever she was training and would turn to find Ava's smiling face, beaming with pride, something that had become instinctual, only to feel like the wind had been knocked out of her when Ava wasn't there, Beatrice being forced to remember all over again that Ava was gone. 

Eventually, it became clear that Cat's Cradle and the OCS was no longer what she wanted, and so she did the only thing that felt real since Ava had disappeared and renounced her vows. As she made her way towards the waiting taxi, she felt free, a small smile gracing her face as she walked. But then her thoughts flitted to how proud of her Ava would be and just as quickly as the mask slipped, it was back in place, Beatrice forcing herself to push everything down the second she felt the painful clench of heart and prickle of tears at the corner of her eyes. 

Switzerland was even worse. 

Beatrice thought that returning to one of the only places that felt like home would be exactly what she needed, but the constant reminder of the life she had been so close to having was suffocating, and so once again, she resorted to shutting down and pushing everything she was feeling away, refusing to acknowledge it. 

She pretended that she found a new spot to train because it was safer for solo workouts rather than admit that the idea of returning to the clearing her and Ava spent so much time training, of being reminded of how far Ava had come during their time in Switzerland only for it not to be enough, made her want to throw up. 

She returned to working at the bar with Hans, resuming her old position before convincing Hans to let her bartend instead, convincing herself that she simply wanted a change of pace, unwilling to admit that she felt like she was punched in the gut every time she looked up from her spot at her usual table, expecting to see Ava, only to be greeted by the sight of Hans instead. She wasn't anywhere near as talented of a bartender as Ava, but she managed, convincing herself that she looked up every time the bell by the door rang so that she could be ready for the next wave of patrons and not because she was hoping to be greeted by the sight of a certain Warrior Nun making her way towards her. 

Even in the privacy of the apartment, Beatrice did everything she could to avoid having to deal with the fact that Ava's absence was destroying her. She slept on the couch at night despite the pain it caused her in the morning, convincing herself that she always meant to go sleep in the bed, but that she always fell asleep before she could when in reality, she couldn't bring herself to sleep in the bed without Ava, not when that was where Ava had held her, and kissed her, and had said that she loved her for the first time. She ate out for most of her meals, telling herself that it didn't make sense to make dinner for one person, when in reality being in the kitchen just brought back memories of all the times Ava had burned something while Beatrice watched on in horror and amusement, or even worse, all the times Ava had made her pancakes just to cheer her up. She even stopped spending her free time curled up on the couch reading, telling herself that it was because she didn't have time to go into town for new books, when in reality, the first time she had sat down to read after returning to Switzerland, she instinctively started reading out loud before realizing she no longer had to do so because Ava was no longer there and with that realization, reading was no longer something that she wanted to do. 

It wasn't until Camila and Lilith came to visit and Lilith bluntly told her that she looked like "death warmed over" that Beatrice finally accepted that as much as Beatrice wanted Switzerland to still be home, without Ava there with her, it was just a painful reminder of everything she had lost. 

It ended up taking her a lot longer than she anticipated to get everything packed up because as it turns out, as difficult as it was to live with the constant reminders of the life she almost had, packing everything up was even more difficult because it felt so final, like she was accepting that Ava was never going to come back and that she was never going to get to live the life she wanted with Ava. 

Eventually though, everything was packed and ready to be picked up by the moving company in a couple of days to be brought to Cat's Cradle, Mother Superion offering to store them there until Beatrice found somewhere to settle whatever she ended up. 

Picking up her bag, Beatrice took in the space before her one more time before turning to leave, opening the door to step into the hall only face to face with Ava, standing on the other side of the door, hand poised to knock. 

"Ava?" Beatrice said, shock clear in her voice. 

"Hey Bea," Ava greeted, a soft smile spreading across her face, a smile that took Beatrice's breath away, having convinced herself that she would never see that smile again. 

Without a second thought, Beatrice allowed her bag to fall to the floor with a dull thud as she barreled into Ava's arms, the Warrior Nun stumbling slightly at the impact, Beatrice immediately moving to bury her face in the crook of Ava's neck, wet, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she once again broke down in Ava's arms like she had all those months ago, the relief of having Ava standing before her causing all of the emotions she had worked so hard to ignore ever since Ava disappeared through the arch to come spilling out. 

At one point, when it became clear that Beatrice's tears weren't going to stop any time soon, Ava carefully extricated herself from Beatrice's arms just long enough to guide them back into the apartment and over to couch, immediately pulling Beatrice back into her arms, once again rocking Beatrice back and forth gently, whispering comfortable words in her ear until eventually, Beatrice's sobs subsided, the woman sitting back slightly to look at Ava. 

"You're really here?" Beatrice asked, awe in her voice as she reached out to gently caress Ava's cheek like she couldn't quite believe that Ava was actually there, sitting in front of her, seemingly alive and well. 

"I'm really here," Ava confirmed with a reassuring smile. 

"And you're staying?" Beatrice asked, her stomach dropping slightly at the thought that this might al be temporary, that Ava could disappear again at any moment. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Bea, not unless you want me to," Ava promised, a bit of fear in her voice, more than aware of the fact that there was a possibility that after everything that had happened, there was a possibility that Beatrice wouldn't want her around anymore. 

"I don't... I don't want you to go," Beatrice said immediately. Now that she had Ava back, she knew that she would do everything she could to never have to go another day without Ava by her side. 

"Good," Ava said, a relieved smile spreading across her lips. A matching relieved smile spreading across Beatrice's lips. 

Neither one of them are sure who moves first, just that neither one of them were able to resist the pull they both felt, both of them leaning forward, their lips meeting in the middle, chastely at first as they both tested the waters after spending so much time apart before coming together once again, one of Beatrice's hands coming up to fist in the front of Ava's shirt while Ava's hands came up to cradle Beatrice's face, both of them desperate to be as close as possible to the other as they poured everything they were feeling into the kiss before eventually breaking apart, pressing their foreheads together as they worked to catch their breath. 

"I missed that," Beatrice admitted, cheeks flushed as she pulled back slightly, Ava following her movements with dark, hooded eyes. 

"I missed it too. I'm pretty sure I could spend the rest of my life kissing you like that and it still wouldn't be enough," Ava admitted brazenly, not wanting to waste anymore time not saying things to Beatrice that she wanted to say out of fear of scaring off, especially since the look that now resided in Beatrice's eyes made it pretty clear that there wasn't much that would scare her off anymore. 

"Well, I guess I'm just going to have to kiss you as much as possible to make sure that you get as close to enough as possible to make sure that you get as close to enough as possible," said Beatrice with a smirk, unable to stop her eyes from darting down to Ava's slightly parted lips. 

"I definitely think that would be what's best. In fact, I think you better get started right away so we can make sure we maximize our time as much as possible," Ava said as she leaned forward once again, barely finishing her sentence before Beatrice's lips were on hers yet again, the other woman immediately moving to deepen the kiss, both of them unable to hold back moans of pleasure as they got lost in each other. 

Neither one of them are sure how much time passes before they are forced apart by their growling stomachs, both of them more than wiling to admit that it was probably a good thing they were because they were both very quickly reaching a point where neither one of them would have been able to stop, and as much as they both very much wanted to take that step, they both knew there was still a lot they needed to talk about and figure out before they took that step. 

And so they forced themselves to separate, deciding to make their way into town to grab some sandwiches, Ava suggesting that they take them to their spot by the lake, knowing that if they returned to the apartment right now, there was a good chance that they would not be eating. Or at least, Ava though with a slight smirk, heat pooling low in her stomach, they would not be eating their sandwiches. 

As they both sit along the lake on the rock that had become a safe space when they had been training, both of them content to just sit in comfortable silence, Ava finally took the chance to really take in Beatrice's appearance. 

When she had first regained consciousness after returning from wherever it was that she had been, her only thought had been to find Beatrice as quickly as possible and so she returned to Cat's Cradle immediately, only to find out from Mother Superion, Camila, and Lilith that the woman was no longer there, having renounced her vows shortly after Ava's disappearance. They, of course, told her that Beatrice had returned to Switzerland, but also made sure she was aware of just how much Ava's absence had affected her. 

Now that Beatrice was actually in front of her, Ava could see what they meant. While there was now a lightness in Beatrice's eyes following Ava's return, Ava remembers the emptiness that had been there when Beatrice first opened the door. Not only that, but Ava could see the dark circles under eyes, the way her skin seemed paler, and the fact that her clothes were not only more disheveled than Ava can ever remember seeing them, but that they also seemed a bit looser, Beatrice evidently losing some weight since the last time she saw her... all of this because Ava left her behind. 

"I'm sorry," Ava blurted out suddenly, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt pooling in the pit of her stomach. 

"For what?" Beatrice asked, turning to look at Ava with a furrowed brow, clearly confused as to why Ava was randomly apologizing. 

"For leaving you... for making decisions about what I was going to do without talking to you first, especially after everything that happened between us at that point," Ava explained, truly sorry for what had transpired. 

"You did what you thought was best based on the circumstances," Beatrice said quietly, finding it far easier to admit that not that Ava had returned, now that she knew that Ava was staying. 

"That didn't make it any easier for you, though," Ava said. 

"No, no it didn't," Beatrice said softly, falling silent for a moment before asking the question that had been on her mind ever since she had opened the door to find Ava standing there... "What happened after you went through the arch?"

"Honestly? I don't know. The last thing I remember is you telling me that you loved me and then it's just blank, but not the kind of blank where it feels like nothing happened, but the kind of blank where it feels like there's something there, but it's blocked. The next thing I remember is waking up about a mile away from Cat's Cradle, the halo still in my back, my wounds healed. I had absolutely no idea what to do except that I needed to find you," Ava explained. 

"And I wasn't there," Beatrice said. 

"And you weren't there. Mother Superion said you renounced your vows..." Ava said, trailing off, the question clear in her voice. 

"I did. After you left... nothing felt right anymore. I know you wanted me to live, but how could I live when it was taking everything I had just to get through the day without you. It very quickly became clear that Cat's Cradle and the OCS was no longer where I needed to be or wanted to be so I renounced my vows and I came here. I thought being in the only place that felt like home would help, but everywhere I turned there were just reminders of everything we had, of everything I had lost. I tried to stick it out, couldn't bring myself to leave the last place that made me feel connected to you, but eventually, it just became too much," Beatrice confessed. 

"So you decided to leave," Ava concluded, remembering the apartment that was empty, everything packed away in boxes, and the bag slung over Beatrice's shoulder when she had opened the door, presumably filled with the essentials. 

Beatrice nodded. 

"Where were you going?" Ava asked curiously. 

"I didn't know to be honest. I was just going to drive and see where I ended up," Beatrice said. 

"And now?" Ava asked. 

"Well, I guess that depends on you. I was running to get away from the memory of you but now that you're back, I don't need to run. So we can stay here or you can come with me and we can see the world together?" Beatrice asked hesitantly, the idea of just going on the road and escaping everything with Ava sounding very enticing. 

"I have always wanted to travel," Ava said, liking the idea of going on an adventure with Beatrice. 

"Then let's go see the world," Beatrice said. 

And that's what they did. Over the next three years, Beatrice and Ava made their way to every corner of the world, completely content with just living in the moment. Eventually, they made their way back to Switzerland, settling down once again. 

And when Ava's memories of her time away began to return. Bringing with it a warning of a great war on the horizon, Beatrice was absolutely terrified that she was going to lose Ava again, tempted to ask her to just run away with her to some remote corner of the world where no one would find them or take Ava away from her again. 

Thankfully though, when that war did come to their doorsteps, with the help of their family and some new powers that Ava had discovered she had after returning from wherever she had gone, they all make it through, a sense of peace finally finding them, knowing that the fight was now truly over. 

And as Beatrice and Ava began the first day of the rest of their lives, they knew that no matter what, they would make it through because they had each other...

In this life and the next.