Chapter Text
Isaac had a feeling in his stomach since the moment he met Colin. It was trapped in a cage of sorts deep inside himself. He could feel it sometimes wanting to break, to spill over inside of him but he managed to keep it locked up. It was hard sometimes especially when Colin would smile at him, touch him, or they would share a moment in each other’s company. The feeling would “shout” at him to let it free but Isaac couldn’t do it. The moment he had grabbed Colin’s phone that feeling was replaced entirely with anger and disappointment.
He didn’t know what exactly he was angry and disappointed about, it was a multitude of things. He was angry at Colin for hiding the truth from him. He was angry that his best mate had lied to him for years. He was angry and disappointed in something that had to do with that feeling inside of him but couldn’t describe that yet. He was also angry and disappointed in himself. That maybe he had done something. He knew that inappropriate and offensive jokes had made it past his lips in the past and thinking about that made him more angry than anything. He was stupid. He should have known better. He wasn’t a child. Maybe that was the reason his own best friend hadn’t confided in him.
If that was the case, then he would apologize profusely to Colin until he turned blue in the face. Cause even though he was giving Colin the silent treatment, Isaac couldn’t think of a day in his life without Colin. Even now, he wanted to talk to Colin but couldn’t. The feeling inside of him made a little rattling at that thought but anger had taken over again quickly.
Then all the shit went down at the match with the fan, Roy, and getting kicked out that Isaac realized that he was being an idiot. He was always shit with communication and all. A problem that made his last three girlfriends break up with him.
He had to talk to Colin. No, he needed to. He had to know why?
Colin had taken him in stride and Isaac was faced with the reality of what the man in front of him had to deal with his whole life. All Isaac could do was offer his protection and support because nobody was going to give his best mate shit if he had anything to say about it. They were in it together.
He had found himself on Colin’s couch asking any question that crossed his mind while they played video games. He wanted to know more about Colin’s “other life”. He could feel that feeling start to come to life again. There were no other emotions to put in front of it. There were no distractions and the scary part was that Isaac can start to feel that there was no controlling it.
Then Colin had told him that he loved him and Isaac knew that it was meant to be platonic but those words had caused that feeling to burst forth. It broke through to spread across his whole entire body. Completely warming him up and causing his senses to be in overdrive.
He couldn’t say it back, his heart pounding in his ears but he offered the words,
“But you know I do, yea?”
He could see out of the corner of his eyes that Colin was smiling. It was the kind of smile that spread across his whole face and was only for Isaac’s eyes only.
Isaac’s breathing sped up against his own will. He can feel the way Colin’s body presses into his side. The way their legs touched as they sat on the couch. It felt like it was being burnt into his side. The feeling started to amplify as the night went on, only growing stronger never dying down. Isaac was unable to cage it back down, it was perfectly communicating to Isaac that this feeling was never going away. It wasn’t going to be caged again.
Isaac only had one word going through his mind.
Shit