Chapter Text
“…. does anyone want to explain how the two people who stop fights are doing this??” ESTJ moaned.
ISFP and ESFJ were both sat on the same setee on opposite ends, their lips sealed shut.
ESFJ was nursing his drink and ISFP seemed to absent-mindedly scroll through Instagram while the rest of the MBTI house stared in awe.
The 2 people who seemed to connect on almost every other level, who were like a pair of twins from an old 80s movie, practically conjoined at the hip.
Yet somehow, now they were now acting like bitter rivals who could barely stand to breathe the same air as them, an air of maliciousness engulfing them both.
"Once again", ESTJ barked, her forefinger and thumb massaging her forehead"
" WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THAT HAS GOT EVERYONE LIKE THIS?!?" she screeched as everyone subject to her screeching just kind of shifted their feet awkwardly or looked elsewhere.
"I mean for fucks sake, YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO ROPE EVEN INTJ INTO THIS, AND THE ONLY TIME WE SEE HIS FACE OUT OF A BOOK IS WHEN HE'S SLEEPING OR EATING". Everyone glanced at each other, unsure how to explain the awkward situation unfolding before them. All the while, INTJ watched the chaos unfold,nonchalantly sipping his apple juice box.
"w.. well.." ISFJ began, her voice shaking
" THE2BEANSAREFIGHTINGANDWEDONTKNOWWWWHHHYYYYYYYY" ENFP spat out.
"....English please?" she asked.
ENTJ spoke up, "Well basically, we came over for the party"
"not technically a party, a derailed study session moreso" ISTJ interrupted
"shut up, so anyway, midway through the P A R T Y, we heard them arguing about something. Soon drinks were thrown, ISFJ called you and we ended up here". she finished, everyone else nodding or murmuring in agreement.
"So now the million dollar question, who knows what they were fighting about?" ESTJ questioned.
"...." silence fell across the room, the only thing audible now was the ticking of the clock. Tick tock Tick tock Tick.
That and ESTJ murmuring something about needing a holiday from these people.
"Also, can we move somewhere else, we don't all need to be in the kitchen, I'm pretty sure artsy and fartsy over there aren't listening and this is a STUDIO apartment, we don't ALL need to be in the kitchen," ESTJ tiredly explained as everyone, sans the oblivious pair on the sofa with an air of cartoonish hate string enough to make naruto and sasuke cringe, shuffled out of the kitchen into the bedroom for more room to talk and a little privacy.
"so" ENFJ began, clapping his hands to get the attention of everyone.
"I'm sure we can all work together to try and piece out what happened and how we can resolve their argument," he said as he popped open a marker and started writing on a whiteboard.
"wait, why is there a whiteboard in the -" INTJ questioned before being abruptly cut off by ENFJ as his voice boomed across the room
"NEVERMIND, now we just need to figure out a timeline of the party and ESFJ and ISFP. Now,who arrived first?"
"We did," INFJ spoke up with a slightly confused look on her face
" I arrived early with you to help set up, remember?" she explained while gesturing towards the absent-minded ENFJ in question.
"oh yeah, guess I just got caught up" he weakly laughed, rubbing the nape of his neck with his hands awkwardly.
"Anyway," INFJ continued as everyone quieted down"At the time when we came, nothing was off, they just seemed as normal as ever. ESFJ was helping me get the snacks and ISFP was helping you with the study notes and notepads we never used".
"Exactly, but after you got back with ESFJ with the snacks, I remember they went to go help the next person bring in the drinks , which in hindsight is probably how things got derailed" he finished off, lightly chuckling only to be glared at by INTJ, ISTJ and INTP, the 3 people who only came to this to STUDY.
"Can somebody remind me of the idiot who brought booze of all things to a study session?" ISTJ grumbled, his palm dragging down his face.
"MEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEE" he heard an unfortunately familiar loud, out-of-tune chirp.
"of course it was you ESFP......".
"Well of course it was me ISTJ, someone needed to liven this party up , and I certainly didn't want to leave it in the hands of someone who said who would do it AND THEN TURN UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP 1 HOUR LATER WITH NOTHING BUT A-" ESFP shouted as she glared at ESTP accusingly before having her mouth covered by ISTJs slender hand and having her head pat to calm her down.
"A lot to unpack there, but let's get back on point" ISTJ pointed out, reassuring ESFP.
"ESFP, do you remember enough of what happened from when you arrived to when you were talking to ESFJ and/or ISFP" he calmly spoke, slowly removing his almost snow-white hand from her warm tanned skin.
"Well..." she began " I do remember talking to ISFP mostly, catching up on that latest parties, what galleries she had been to, how much guacamole is enough for toast, when we were going out to go clubbing, so the normal stuff" she obliviously stated.
"Rrright, normal stuff," ISTJ said slowly while sweatdropping(anime style)
"Now, do you remember about them talking about something else that might have led to an argument; Something they might've disagreed on , something out the normal they might not normally talk about?"
"Well, it is a little fuzzy but I do remember ESFJ getting mad about something about the drinks it was, it wasss, the uuuuhhhhhhh..., sorry all I remember after that is having a few too many drinks, blacking out and the waking up with you giving me -"
"OK, SO IT'S CLEAR THAT ESFP HAS NOTHING MORE TO CONTRIBUTE!". ISTJ loudly proclaimed, a pink blush washing over his face
"what was she gonna say ISTJ" INFJ teasingly asked
" NOTHING THAT IS YOUR BUSINESS, the point is that they weren't having this argument before we arrived for the party, so maybe one of us said something to spark it" ISTJ spoke out, diverting the topic of the conversation quickly to try and salvage any dignity he had as a stoic intellect.
"Wait a minute" everyone turned around to face the new voice originating from INTP's quiet voice piping up.
"I remember something after ISFP sat down with me and ESFJ started going on about a wedding she went to and ESFJ started to get mad"
"How could you even tell he was getting mad, the guys always smiling, like one of those creepy puppets" ISTP said as he shuddered at the though of those puppets, their cold lifeless eyes staring into him as they smiled those stupid smiles at him.
"It's easy to tell when someone like him starts to get frustrated; his hands started clenching, his eyebrows lowered slightly, the muscles beneath his left eye started to twitch"INTP pointed out as she slowly devolved into what heard like the rambling of either a psych patient or L's scientist cousin.
"ALRIGHT, we get it point dexter. Now can you get to the point where we find out why they're fighting and get things back to normal?" ENTP lightly shouted, annoyed from having to stand for so long.
INTJ then commanded the attention of the room by slapping the whiteboard
"OK, let's just recap so far what we know about the argument.
INFJ and ENFJ arrived early to help ESFJ and ISFP with setting up and then ESFP arrived with the alcoholic beverages.
It wasn't until ISFP started talking about a wedding she went to that tensions started to rise and it all came to a peak that they started fighting when ESFJ started talking about rings"
"wait wait wait wait, W A I T, no one mentioned anything about rings" ESTP pointed out.
"yeah, but I knew it, cus I was there when the fight started".
A beat passes.
"THEN WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING" everyone in the room shouted, annoyed at self-proclaimed 'genius'
."eh, I was bored, so wanted to see how far you took this 'sherlock holmes' shtick".
"Ignoring INTJ's stupid decision to WASTE all of our time" ENTJ barked out while slapping her younger brother across the back of the head
"Now we know that they were getting mad when they started talking about weddings and the bout come around when they got to talking about rings"
"wedding, rings, *gaaaasssspppp* do you guys know what this means?!" INFP exclaimed, her eyes gleaming as years of writing fanfiction connected the dots
"ISFP is mad because she wants a ring from ESFJ, a wedding ring" she said giddily.
"are you sure about that?"
"are they even together", everyone murmured, given that the general assumption is that one must be dating before getting hitched to someone.
"Well, it would explain a lot of their behaviour" ENFP chimed in.
"NANI?!" INTP exlcaimed,physically recoiling from the shock," What do you mean?"
"Think about it guys; they're always around each other, their interests complement each other, they nag each other like an old married couple and the sexual tension between them is thick as porridge, the only thing that's keeping this from being the plot of hallmark movie is that it's not Christmas".
Absurd and far-fetched as ENFP's claims were, the connection was faintly there. so more people started conversing about it, debating the actual validity of this claim.
soon everyone was convinced that, somehow, ENFP was right( Hey, a broken clock can be right twice a day) and they needed to talk to ISFP and ESFJ about what they were going o do now.
KNOCK, KNOCK,KNOCK
"Guys, is everything alright in there? you've been in there for a while and I don't know if the floor can support this many people in this room for so long"ESFJ asked with a hint of worry.
As everyone in the room flooded out of the bedroom and formed a sort of semi-circle around ISFP and ESFJ.
ENFJ began off by saying, putting his hand on ESFJ's shoulder "Look, buddy, I know we were in there a while but I think we managed to figure out why you and ISFP got in a fight"
"oh so you understand why I got mad at her"
"Look buddy, I kind of understand your point, but you also need to take into consideration her feelings"
"whaaa ?" ESFJ stammered as he slightly backpedalled
"yeah dude," ISTJ said butting in
" Even I understand that, whether it's with a patient or someone to you like ISFP is to you, you both need to look at the other point of view and calmly talk things through when it comes to decisions like these"
"I mean, I appreciate your advice but this isn't a huge thing, i mean its just a small lifestyle change"
"I mean that's one way of looking at it but not how I would typically handle it.This is a huge thing for everyone "
"Is it really though?"
"OF COURSE IT IS" ENFP and INFP chimed in.
"Doing this kind of thing is huge between 2 people, your life will change from this moment on" "Exactly! nothing between you two will be the same"
"Guys, I appreciate all this advice but this seems a little extreme for asking someone to keep the furniture clean"
". . . HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH??" everyone exclaimed
"ok, now I'm lost again," ESTJ said, tired of all this tomfoolery.
"well you see, when 2 people love each other very much , they-"ESTP began, grinning only to be cut off with a jab in the ribs by ESTJ" I KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT THAT COMES AFTER THE WEDDING"
"wedding? who's having a wedding?" ISFP asked with a somewhat dumbfounded look painted on her face as she invaded the ongoing conversation.
"yours my dude, after you propose to ESFJ" ESFP said, seeming to point out what seemed like the obvious
"What?!?! no! Where did you get that idea" ISFP exclaimed as the 2 devolved into blushing messes.
"When you were talking about rings, right?" ESFP said as most of the people there nodded in agreement.
"ESFJ was talking about the rings of MOISTURE I left on the table, I kept putting drinks down without a coaster and he got annoyed because I didn't put coasters down but we talked things through " ISFP said as the 2 lightly chuckled with a blush dusting their cheeks as they laughed at their friends for the great misunderstanding of the situation. "we're not even going out, what gave you the idea we're getting married?"
"well you have to admit," INFP started" you 2 fight over the stupidest things in a petty manner, like an old married couple"
Steam billowed out of ESFJ's ears while ISFP slowly became flustered and unresponsive, the 2 slowly sharing a glance before quickly averting their eyes and kicking everyone out.
Everyone there then had the same feeling about ESFJ and ISFP.
"either settle what these feelings are or stop acting like a couple around us to give us more material!"