Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This story that you've stumbled upon is a darkfic. That means for one reason or another, somebody gets a little too silly.

And people die. Quite a darn lot.

So if you'd rather not watch Tea Kettle go fucking crazy with what she's gonna do here? Probably best you go and skedaddle out.

Now enjoy the fucking madness.

Chapter Text

Slight drumming of fingers along blue wood. A discontented sigh, followed by a puff of steam.

That's all it was for Tea Kettle these days, wasn't it?

Blueberry had already gone out of the game, literally falling at the very first hurdle which could be imagined. Oh come on, the guy had... something! Something in him.

Surely?

Oh nah come on. For all she knew he was just dead.

But still. The time passing through then and right now... not a third challenge in sight yet. And between jumping off a cliff and suddnely going by The Sinkers instead of just... Blue?

If that wasn't enough time to feel like everyone hates and ignores you, oh boy I dunno what is.

Hence what could only be seen as Tea Kettle's huffy hellhole. She knew well that she couldn't help the stuff that she was going through, surely! Totally!

She just needed to cool off a bit.

Things should be all better in no time... lest she become a raging, boiling monster. Like before the whole team naming situation. That always gets her insides.

Don't question it.

"...oh."

A light idea crossed the path of her somewhat frantic mind.

"...why not baking? I mean... I could make THAT with this here table... you know what, that's right! Let me tell you, me. I'm not goin' in a slump like that, hun!"

Honestly she was a little bit of a competitive and feisty one if you gave her the chance to be.

So embracing her newfound idea as fast as she happened upon an idea, quickly spawning up the right ingredients for something nice and simple. Bread, for now.

If anything was gonna get Tea Kettle out of an angry slump, take it out on some dough.

Work on it she sure did. Facing this with a good mindset, she was able to knead a good lot of her frustrations out by simply working it into this yeasty creation.

So with some time, she was left with one plate of bread and a renewed feeling inside of her. "Ah, that's more like it!"

While she was pleased, she was very quick to notice an irritated sigh from not too far from her immediate range. Turning to face that, she ended up being near face-to-face with Balloon.

Kinda.

"Oh, Balloon? What's got you all down in the dumps like this?"

"Oh, hi. I just haven't been feeling so hot lately... I talked to Clover about it a bit. She said that maybe finding a few lavender flowers could perk me up again."

"Lavender, huh... you need any help?"

"I'll let you know if I do."

As Balloon walked away, that started to turn a concerning set of gears inside the head of the kettle.

Baking made her feel better... so she could do this again with the bread to both help herself feel better. And Balloon was Balloon, surely he'd perk right back up with some fresh bread in his belly!

Just one problem.

Just how could she sort that lavender...

"...mhm. We don't need Clover for that kinda advice, hun. You'll see juust what I mean."

Everyone would be happy. So she could go ahead... free of fuss, free of worries.

Free of resistance, if you know what I mean.

Chapter Text

Oh how this was an idea and a half.

What time was it, again? Around... midnight, Tea Kettle figured.

It gets hard when you become focused on something, then time seriously floats right on by.

Since earlier in the day, Balloon's apparent chat had wormed its way into her head. Deep in there.

Lavender flowers intending to calm his rampant anxiety. Anxiety she knew existed, and anxiety she was happy to contribute in getting rid of it. While also managing her own frustrations, too!

It was a win-win for the two of 'em.

And not to even dare consider the favor she'd get back with the remainder of the Sinkers... ooh, it almost made her excited. She doubted she could blame one ounce of her antique self.

Yeah, she'd say she was old.

"Okay, okay... so Clover brought up lavender, didn't she? Rather basic flower. Scent's naturally calming enough... How is it that you'd mull it down to make it edible?"

She tapped just under the end of her spout. At least where she could reach, at least. "No, no. The petals? That could be a consideration."

As she wandered and let her head lead her on many possible outcomes, a voice pierced out through her foggy trail of thoughts. Someone familiar, at least.

"...yes, yes, I get that. Everyone is, indeed, beyond filthy as you put it."

Candle, eh? As for who she was responding to...

No shit.

Yet the voice of Candle caused Tea Kettle to hone in on what she knew about her. But the namely example happened to be exactly how she tended to, and this was odd... smell.

Her flame caused a certain smell to waver about. A hint of sandalwood, a touch of chamomile, and... what was that?

Ah, what a coincidence.

Before she could give herself away to anything, the kettle had snuck away to do two things.

Step one was to be sure MePhone was awake. Juust in case this went a teensy tiny bit.. awry. You never know. For context, of course he was.

Poor guy had to rest, she admitted.

Still. The second step was to be grabbing a whisk. Said cooking tool tapped ever so slightly against Tea Kettle's cheek as she paced in a light circle, putting everything together step by step.

"...so... lavender flowers are generally inedible no matter how you put 'em. But say we turn that lavender... into a more feasible liquid. That keeps the smell, and can be added to bread to give it the result that you want."

The whisk shifted away from her as she approached back where Candle was. It was more silent now that she had returned, only implying that the duo happened to be asleep at the moment.

So perhaps she could get away with this.

"..."

A split second was where Tea Kettle considered. How worth it could this even happen to be?

That same split second later, the whisk was coated in a thick, somewhat pungent wax. And Candle was slumped against the ground, a good chunk of where her face was now dripping and slopping in a sickly fashion.

Almost like a miracle that HE wasn't woken up by it.

"...oohh... you looked a lot more durable, y'know hun? But wax is wax... that was never gonna hold up anyway."

Like that, she strolled on away into the night's dark shade with nought but a hint of her crime as she wandered away.

"Just gotta clean myself off here. then I think I can water this down just right... ohoh, Balloon, believe me. You're gonna be feeling WAY better before you even know it."

-

Come when morning came around, said salmon individual had awoken to find something packaged near where he ended up going to sleep on the previous night.

Smelt fresh.

"...huh. Didn't Tea Kettle say she was baking yesterday?"

His hunch proved right; he unwrapped the package by his side and wound up finding a loaf of bread. Decently fluffy and crispy...

Smelt nice, too. So with him picking it up, he took a bite from it and the feeling ended up coming to him quickly.

"Oh... this is good. Really good...!"

Not far off from his happy bread-munching location, those words marked a silent point of no return. Besides, Balloon said he liked it. And nobody really KNEW about Candle...

Ah, how baking rejuvenates you.

Chapter Text

"Goodness, what HAPPENED to you?!"

"I... I'm afraid that I don't know. I was simply recovered in this fashion..."

"You-you are fine, though, aren't you? Even with... this...?"

"Yes, yes. My cognitive functions do remain stable enough for me to act healthily."

So it turns out it was a good thing Tea Kettle made sure MePhone was at least kinda awake last night.

See, slashing a whisk through Candle's body did seem to leave it more so wonky if it was anything at all. A general mess, I get that much at least.

It was just that her recovery was done in a half-awake fashion.

And it meant Candle was now left devoid of a good chunk of her face. And an eye.

Meaning yes. A TINY sacrifice was made for the sake of the bread.

On the morning discovery of such a melted kind of abomination, Silver Spoon had to see this grotesque mess twice. Once on seeing her like this when he woke up, and again when she was recovered.

Not good when you've got anxiety, and spew easier than a busted vacuum.

Yet Candle was ever calm about her state.

"Still... I wonder what would have occured if I noticed anything prior to my demise."

Somewhat distant laughter cut her off, with Silver Spoon groaning in irritation. Nickel, with minimal dount to it. Yinyang obviously wanted no part of Candle's weird self right now, and by process of elimination that only left one individual present.

Nickel. That dick.

The coin had walked off before the spoon could even really try to fling a hurtful comment in his direction, and that would be for the better as well.

Candle had a gut feeling about him. Nickel, I mean.

He had a feeling of... upset. Distress and distaste, general gloominess to boot as well.

"...Silver Spoon?"

"What?"

"I... feel as if I've gotten a negative form of premonition."

"Candle, of course, it's Nickel. All he does is laugh at me whenever I dare pass by! Scoundrel, I tell you!"

"Hm... perhaps. But I'm still rather uneasy."

That hint of premontion in her gut was right, at least as right as she could get without looking into things.

That negative kind of feeling was caught onto by a certain somekettle. And whether he liked her company or not, it wouldn't stop her from stepping ahead with her plan.

Balloon did turn those gears yesterday, after all.

So Tea Kettle just had to turn 'em right.

Chapter Text

Turned out Nickel's problem was as clear as could be. Or at LEAST as clear as it could be after half an hour of ranting. Probably more if she had never snuck off.

Y'know. To bake.

It was all but confirmed by now that Tea Kettle's baking strategy was working wonders. She and Balloon were in a far better mood, no?

And Candle was... fine enough. It was just that her recovery went poorly. She was technically still alive and... 'healthy'. Being half blind is fine, right? Okay. It did suck, honestly.

While it was technically her fault, in that moment everything felt just right enough to go ahead with minimal questions.

So now thoughts were settled right back in her head.

"Okay. So... call it stupid. Nickel is having horrible feelings about Clover for some unfathomable reason. So how can I incorporate helping him AND baking in one go?"

She paused.

"...okay. THAT idea? Fine, it's fine. But what I can gather... she's a lucky kinda gal. So how much has a kettle gotta bet that this'll go more sour for me?"

Not to mention she had lent Balloon a hand before. And her, indirectly. To a degree. She had caused her to figure out the Candle strategy that helped both of them in one fell swoop. Darn. Figuring out what to do would be hard.

"Let me.guess. You're still thinking about my mindless rant."

The brash comment did cause Tea Kettle to stumble backwards, even falling a bit. Nickel's stature wasn't so frightening from being on the floor. He was short, sorta.

By far not the smallest though.

"Ohh, Nickel? You, uhh.... lost weight?" A very awkward shrug followed her.

"I feel like you'd say that to Box if you needed to."

There was no real shock that awkward silence followed the comment, but Nickel opted to break it regardless.

"But yeah. Don't bother with the Clover situation. I'm probably stressing over nothihg here."

"Sure you aren't! You're worried," Tea Kettle steadied herself after almost jumping back up, "And so I should help you! Makes sense, huh?"

"Not really. But seriously, stay out of my business, lady."

As he wandered off, she was packed with lots of reluctance again. Anytime someone EVER said to stay out of their worries? She'd slide right back in like a cat wedging under a bedroom door.

And that wasn't good. She just wanted to help out was all! That can't be bad!

...but at the same time she took someone's eye out with a whisk. Maybe that could be taken into note.

Nah.

"Gah... sometimes I can't stand him, and I've only known the guy for two episodes! But one way or another, I NEED to figure this out. It's just gonna take..."

That sentence alone prompted her into thoughts for at least ten minutes. Just what could overcome Clover, so she could.prove that Nickel had nothing to worry about?

Then the idea struck hard.

"...luck. Luck can do it, if it overcomes hers. But she's a four leaf clover, how do you beat luck like that?"

"Huh? Luck? You weren't talking about me then, were you?"

"Oh, Clover. Good that you showed up... I was meaning to ask you something."

Chapter Text

"Ask me something? Sure, go ahead!"

"So... I need to rip part of your leaves off."

"Aha... what?"

Clover was Clover. She naturally wasn't startled at the initial... listen, you could only really call that a threat. She more so took the news with a bit more of a puzzled nature.

Rip her leaves off? That for a start wouldn't be nice.

"Hm... I dunno. That's kinda part of me. It'd be like if I asked for your tea!"

"Which I would happily oblige to."

"Okay then."

Great, then. Clover wanted to take this nice and gently. From a glance, shw swore that Tea Kettle was a harmless type. But did she really mean harm here? It was...

Honestly a little hard to tell.

There was this kind of strange look in her eyes. Foggy, maybe a little desperate? It was hard to really wrap her leaves around.

And Clover was honestly doubting that she wanted to unravel that foggy gaze at the minute.

"Listen... maybe you just need some other, non talking clovers! I actually found a patch a while ago. How about I show you?"

"Would... they give that kind of lucky effect? That you give off?"

"Hm... probably if I pick them, then sure!"

That in itself, somewhat unknown to Clover, was actually a way to slip past the likely attack she would have gone through otherwise.

See, her memory had kept in mind exactly what Tea Kettle needed right now - clovers. And combining that with herself, they'd become lucky clovers.

Her bread needed it.

"...then let's go then."

"You got it! Cordelia, you go lead the way for us!"

A second of almost warmth amidst what quickly could have turned to death and ever violence at this point. That little second just seemed to... blossom.

The part that cared inside Tea Kettle smiled a bit.

-

Things were set by the end of the night. The clovers were in hand, allowing the kettle to depart peacefully. That much felt a lot better instead of her original plan to make Nickel more relieved.

As she hoped, too.

As for Clover, she was mainly thinking after the course of tonight.

What was with that foggy look? Did she feel unwell? Ohh... Clover should have asked!

Her thoughts were not so politely interrupted by a branch suddenly snagging one of her leaves, and Clover only being able to pull back and leave a bit of a tear in it.

"Oh, ow. That's gonna need a bandage, I think... Lifering's still around, isn't he? I think I saw him with a medical bag! I'm sure he won't mind! Though it is around midnight... ah, lucky me probably won't make it a bother."

Oh how accidents tie a freshly baked misconception together.

Chapter Text

This bread was weird.

Hey, while he was by himself, Nickel kinda had to admit it. He had just gotten it in a small parcel early in the day, thanks to Tea Kettle.

It did make an okay breakfast at first. Or more so, it wasn't initially a bad thing.

Had the decent warmth and crispiness to it. Fluffiness wasn't all too bad either. And eating it almost made him a little less... strained.

It had that sort of... how'd he put it?

Eh. He wasn't all too sure on what or why.

Though he was content to get up and get his own day started after the weird parcel.

It wasn't a real, initial bother. Everyone seemed to be their usual kinds of selves, at least painted from the view of the silver coin anyway. Everything had its own click to him, in a way.

Like Clover. He had plenty a weird feeling about her, even after today.

So it was honestly a bit of a shock to find her suddenly in Lifering's company, with one of her leaves all bandaged up in a good and efficient way.

Trust the lifeguard to do that.

Even then he was more so drawn to the male figure with a mix of annoyance and curiosity. Neither really outshone the other.

"Okay what is even going on? Why is she here?"

"She ended up running into me last night all bust up. It was super late, though... so I told her I'd check on her first thing in the morning."

"Last night? Wait. Listen, Clover. Question."

"Hm? Yeah, you go ahead!"

"Did you.... talk with anybody yesterday, by any chance at all?"

"Aw, geez... I think I slept so well despite my head that I can't remember."

Though it caused Nickel to be brought to a wall, Lifering immediately jumped over said wall and continued where the shorter guy couldn't. Lifeguard's instinct and all.

"Do you at least have an idea of what went on last night? As in a few events at least?"

"Hm... mhm, I do! I was going for a walk and... oh. That's it. I know I did something and then went on a walk. Everything else is okay."

"Ugh. Some kind of sick coincidence this is."

The other two just let Nickel huff off at this rate. What he was going on about, he was honestly figuring what he needed to out. As much as possible at least.

Before that last challenge, Tea Kettle had proven herself to be... well.

Irritable. If something didn't go her way.

That alone couldn't take him anywhere, though. It wasn't enough, but at the same time he wasn't about to dig deep into everything.

It was all too complex all too quick. He figured he wanted to lie down again after something as stupid as that. Though even if he wanted to come to that conclusion, what really was it to him?

That was going to be a problem for a Nickel who cared if his thoughts came true, probably.

Chapter Text

Again, it was odd. Really odd if it was to go as far as that, who really cared right now. Still... the past few days were just highly unusual to really decipher.

It was a matter of just waking up without a chunk of your face that Candle had to go and think about.

For a start, yes. A very unusual thing to occur. Even with her cognitive functions remaining intact, it was irritating to adapt. Mind you, nothing ever irritated Candle.

Though her point standed. And besides, she had a few context clues as is. But not for the cause of that - much rather a potentially limited time to uncover info.

The Floor was to thank for the time limit.

He had brought up to the other Thinkers that he heard a certain phone going on about this next challenge somehow lasting a whole day. As in the whole 24 hours. That originally didn't inforn Candle of things.

It was then just Paintbrush and OJ chipping in, albeit indirectly. "Huh... if it's THAT long, how would he do the elimination?"

"Probably do it the night of when we're done. Though in all honesty, 24 hours isn't a big problem for me anyway."

"OJ please. Coffee will NOT fix everything. I have tried."

Coffee aside, that conversation was what alerted Candle of how to go around finding things out. She could either go information hunting now, during the challenge, and in that period between then and the elimination.

Finding one object in any of those times surely couldn't be difficult.

"Hm. Alright, then. Excuse me for a bit."

"Where are you even goin', Candle? I'm pretty sure I heard him say more... you gonna stick around? Know more in advance?"

"I would prefer to figure out what happened to my face, The Floor. The others can brief me when I return, presumably."

"Y'know, that makes sense. You, uh... is it bad to say have fun?"

"Slightly. Anyways, I'll be leaving now."

Even now, Candle had unusual hunches regarding what she was hearing and all. Plus thinking, too. Quite a few roads to achieving personal goals aren't usually coated in sourness.

Though this now made her think. Mainly in one important way.

Would it be logical to search for answers at the presumed source itself, instead of this?