Chapter Text
He’s alive, he’s really alive, it’s not a figure on her imagination she’s watching the footage. It’s him.
“Well Felicity, you were right.” Diggle was standing just by her chair in the lair.
“Yes, she was, but where is he? The Arrow suite’s here.”
Roy was right where was he? The only thing they saw were bread crumbs he left behind, in the lair, in the streets. Felicity was running a traffic cam search but it was going nowhere.
“Sorry that I didn’t come by sooner.”
His voice almost startle her, she was so focus on the screens. She saw him but her eyes had deceive her so many times this past few weeks, she saw him so many times this last weeks and it was all an illusion. That she had touch to hold him in her arms.
He welcomed her into his arms. A wave of relief fill her, he was really there, safe, back to her. His death was the illusion. All the pain and angst left her body in a swirl of emotions she barely control.
“I’m okay.” He whisper in her hear.
It wasn’t, it still wasn’t okay, she needed him to hold her just for a bit more time as her world shifted back to how it should be. But she couldn’t hold him anymore, Diggle was already asking about what happen and she had to let him go.
She witness the word exchange between Oliver, Diggle and Roy in a dreaming state. Oliver was there in the foundry alive and she was just reveling in it, taking him in.
Oliver was talking about Ra’s al-Ghul.
“Merlyn and I are working on that.”
No… the word scream high on her head. No. Definitely not. She must have hear wrong, her Oliver would never get in bed with Malcolm Merlyn.
“I’m sorry. For a second there it sounded like you said Merlyn.”
“I need to know how to defeat Ra’s. Merlyn has the knowledge.”
She couldn’t believe it. Did he forgot all Malcolm had done?
“Merlyn is a monster, You’re in this situation. Thea’s in this situation because of him”
“Felicity ju…”
She couldn’t control herself she couldn’t let him finish. He would try to convince her, to change her mind, she knew the truth about Merlyn she wasn’t going to change her opinion about him.
“No. Just a few hours ago I stood right here and I swore there was no way you would ever agree to work with Malcom Merlyn, ever. I guess I was wrong about everything.”
Something happen to Oliver the time he was gone and not just the nearly dying part. This was not her Oliver, she didn’t knew this Oliver standing right there in front of her, looking right into her eyes.
“I need some air. I’m glad your not dead”
She had to leave it was too painful. All had been an illusion, a horrid one. She led herself to believe Oliver was back. Back to Starling. Back to his family, to his friends. Back to her. This wasn’t her Oliver, she didn’t know this Oliver he was a stranger, worst, she wasn’t sure she wanted to have anything to do with that man inside the lair.
“Felicity.”
She could hear his footsteps while he walk up to her.
“I need some air really means I don’t want to talk. Right now”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? Maybe you can be a little more specific. For letting us believe you were dead? For weeks? Or for abandoning every principle you claim to have by getting to bed with Malcolm Merlyn?”
He took a step forward but she took a step back keeping the distance. If he touch her she would fall to pieces. If he touch her she would break in his arms and cry. If he touch her he would feel like her Oliver and she would follow him. She couldn’t follow him, the path he had chosen was too dark.
“That’s not why your upset.”
“While you were gone for almost… a month I allow myself to fantasize to dream that maybe… just maybe… Merlyn was wrong. That you were alive. That you would come back, And that when you did you would be different. That almost dying would give you a new perspective on life, that you would just DO things differently.”
“Things between us you mean.”
“Before you left the last thing you said to me was that you love me. Now your back and the first thing you tell me is you’re working with the man who turn your sister - a woman you suppose to love - in to a killer, who killed a woman you used to love. I don’t want to be a woman that you love.”
She could see the pain she was inflicting on him and feel the pain she was inflicting on herself. It hurt but she had to protect herself, as she did all her life, until Oliver show her that she wasn’t alone. Now he was proving himself wrong, she had to go back to stand up and protect herself.
She walk away her heart again in pieces, her soul again devastated. Her Oliver had died, what remain was a shell with someone who’s reasoning evade her and was on a path she couldn’t follow.