Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dreams. Goals. Aspirations. Ambitions.

All things any young girl would have.

Ever since she could remember, Tendo Maya had always been proud of her family name. She had always wanted to follow in her famous parents' footsteps - to become a star.

She wanted to stand onstage in front of thousands of people.

She wanted to act. She wanted to sing. She wanted to dance.

She wanted to fill her audiences with emotions the likes of which they'd never known before they had laid eyes upon her, a unique experience that Maya alone could make them feel. She wanted to change the very world of theatre with her talent. And being that she had the purebred genes of her parents running through her veins, Maya had quite literally been born to achieve such goals.

From the day she could stand, she was teetering around her play pen trying to dance. From the day she could speak, she was cooing and trying to mimic the voices on the radio. When she was old enough to watch cartoons and movies, she studied the ways the characters spoke and moved and acted.

All of these bits of information seemed to stick with her, even after she'd only experienced them one single time. And as she aged and her body grew stronger, she was able to replicate such things, but while giving them her own unique flare.

By the age of seven it was clear to all of her teachers and family that she was going to achieve great things in life. Her parents indulged their only daughter in whatever lessons she craved to study.

By the time she was twelve, Maya was on every Gifted and Talented list in her middle school, as well as the Honor Roll. She not only had exceptional physical capabilities, but her grades in all other subjects were also second to none.

When the adults spoke of potential, prodigies, and success, Maya's name was at the center of every conversation.

She was meant for greatness, for revolutionizing her field, for taking the stage by storm and claiming it as her own, for blazing a trail like no one else before her, and leaving a path for the next generation to follow in her footsteps.

Tendo Maya was going to do incredible things, and she'd always known it.

… So why?

Why is it that, one day, she suddenly feels a slight pang in her skull during her dance lessons?

Why is it that she suddenly gets hit by a wave of dizziness when stretching, or nausea while on a water break?

Why is it that the things that had normally been second nature to her are now suddenly interrupted by the slightest of inconveniences, the tiniest prickles of pain or discomfort...?

At first, Maya does what any fifteen-year-old who was working her hardest to get into the most prestigious acting high school in the nation would do, and ignores it. She keeps quiet about every little pang and cough and sway that tries to throw her off her game.

Now is not the time to lose focus. Not when she's training her hardest to get accepted into Siegfeld Institution.

Not that she needed to try any harder than she already did, being that every theatre and arts school in the nation was begging for her to apply - Siegfeld included. But just because she essentially already had a guaranteed spot in that freshman roster the following year didn't mean she could relax or put any less effort into her studies or education.

So why?

Why?

Why is everything she always did previously without incident now suddenly being sprinkled through with tiny hinderances?

At first, they come just a few times a week; a dizzy spell during practice, a hitch of her voice during a solo, an unforeseen ache during play rehearsals. She continues to ignore it all for a time.

That is, until she collapses live onstage at a pre-showing for a dance recital.

Only parents of the participants had been in attendance at that time of evening, so thankfully Maya hadn't embarrassed herself in front of the entire town. But she'd been rushed to the nearest children's hospital for a thorough examination.

Upon regaining consciousness, Maya had confessed to the doctors that she had been experiencing strange ailments for the past several months, unbeknownst to her parents. They kept her overnight, running all sorts of tests on every part of her body. Her parents spared no expense to get to the bottom of whatever was wrong with their daughter who had so much ahead of her.

All throughout those next several days in the hospital, Maya had heard the murmurings of the nurses outside her room. She couldn't catch their exact words, but judging by the muffled stiflings of their tones, she could ascertain that her diagnosis wasn't good.

She knew it wasn't good… but she hadn't expected it to be as bad as it was.

Stage IV liver cancer.

It was unheard of. No one else in her family had ever been diagnosed with any form of cancer. It was incredibly rare that she would have developed it so badly so quickly, given that her genes had such a slim chance of being affected by anything so detrimental. Alongside that, she was such a healthy and active girl, with a strong mind and an even stronger body.

How could this have happened? To her of all people…?

How had it developed and progressed so quickly, to the point where she was essentially already beyond saving…?

Before she had even turned sixteen years old…

Tendo Maya's life was already over.

The doctors grimly explained to Maya and her parents what the options were from here. Being that the cancer was already so far along by the time it was detected, there were few treatment options. It was expressed right away that the treatment they can offer isn't guaranteed to work. Essentially, it might help her live slightly longer, or it could end up killing her faster.

Either way, there was no hope for a cure.

At that point, the best they could do was delay the inevitable.

It was on a summer afternoon, where the air outside was clinging onto a residual heat before autumn would soon blow in, where Maya finally accepted her fate.

She was dying.

There was no hope. There was no cure.

She was going to die before the spring, before she could see any of the flowers bloom, or any of her dreams realized. Had she known this previous birthday would be her last, she would have savored the bittersweetness of it a little more…

This would be her last autumn, her last winter. Maybe if she was lucky she would live long enough to see the buds begin to blossom for one final spring thaw. But she wouldn't see another summer ever again. She would never turn sixteen.

It was a lot to take in. A lot to process. For both Maya and her parents.

For days, they sat in that room together and mulled grimly over their options.

Naturally, her parents push her to accept the treatment, including chemotherapy. If it could mean she'd live just a week or even a day longer, they wanted her to do it.

However, Maya felt differently. She didn't want to spend her final five months of life going through treatment. She didn't want to follow a schedule that was designed to give hope when her body was ultimately doomed to fail anyway. She didn't want nurses and doctors fussing over her at every step. She didn't want to lose her freedom anymore than she already had.

And so, Maya decides to forego any treatment. And though her parents don't agree, they understand.

And so, they tell the doctors, who also disagree with Maya's choice, but they accept her wishes.

And so, on a chilly winter afternoon, Maya seals and accepts her own fate.

She will never achieve her dreams.

She will never see any of her ambitions or wishes fulfilled.

She will never be able to stand onstage and invoke profound emotion in thousands of people.

No. She will simply fade away.

She will die, and she will take all of her dreams and potential and aspirations with her.

Before the world had even truly begun to start knowing her, it would lose her and forget about her, like a flower that never had the chance to bloom.

Such was the fate of a young girl named Tendo Maya.

A/N: Maya's life will be cut short before it can even truly begin... How will she choose to spend what little time she has left...?

Please leave comments or kudos!

Chapter Text

Chapter 2. A New Dream

Maya spends the first few weeks of her final autumn trapped in that hospital.

Although her parents hadn't agreed with her decision to deny treatment, they had accepted it under the condition that she spend her time at the hospital with the professional caretakers just a few feet away at any given time. Maya hadn't wanted to spend her final months of life cooped up indoors, but she had had no choice but to accept.

Her only solace is in the fact that her room had a view of the hospital's garden, and the windows could open to allow the breeze in through the screen.

Maya busies herself this morning with reading the next play in her theatrics textbook that had been issued to her by her previous school. Though she was excused from classes for the foreseeable future and not at all required to complete any sort of assignments, Maya insisted on perfecting her craft to the best of her abilities until the end of her days.

So she continues to study and read and sing and act whenever she can find the chance to in the confines of her hospital room.

Today, she reads through a theatrical adaptation of the Grimms' fairytale Sleeping Beauty. Occasionally, the breeze carries in the scent of fresh basil or mint from the garden outside, and a pleasant chittering of birdsong drifts in.

When she had first heard her diagnosis, Maya had been angry to hear the birds. She was outraged that the rest of the world could go on so casually, so cheerfully, while she herself was subjected to such an unfair verdict.

But at this point, Maya has come to accept the fact that she is no longer meant for this life, that the world doesn't care for her plight. Once she's gone, a handful of people will mourn for a time, but ultimately, the planet will continue thriving, and life will easily go on without her. She hadn't gotten the chance to make the difference she'd always dreamed of.

But after weeks and weeks of thinking it through, would it even have mattered that much if she had lived out her life to the fullest? Perhaps she would have made some kind of significant impact on the community, or even the world, in terms of theatre. But even then, she would eventually pass on, and everyone would soon forget her.

It was the same for everyone. Some people just made a larger impact that lasted longer, but in the end, everyone ended up in the ground.

Maya huffs out a breath and shakes herself off, realizing she hadn't absorbed any of the pages she'd read.

She doesn't even rue the fairytales anymore. She knows those birds won't come through her window and start singing her cheerful melodies of hope. She knows no fairy godmother will come down and grant her a wish or make her a deal to give Maya her life back. She knows no knight in shining armor will give her a kiss and wake her from this nightmare…

A slight commotion outside grabs her attention, which hadn't been on the story anyway, so Maya opts to glance up. Outside, across the hallway, some of the nurses are talking excitedly amongst themselves.

From what Maya can gather, it sounds like a new volunteer worker has picked up a position here.

Maya slowly turns her gaze back to the book in her lap. She doesn't care for things like that. The doctors and nurses at this hospital were the best of the best in the nation in their fields, adults who had decades' worth of study and training and practice under their belts.

And yet they weren't kidding themselves. They all knew they couldn't save Maya - or any of the other children here for that matter. All they could do was provide comfort in their patients' final days.

And that was wonderful of them, no doubt. But Maya just… didn't care for it. Not for herself, anyway.

In all the weeks she'd been here, the reality around her had solidified and made itself very clear. She'd heard the sobs in the latest, darkest hours of the nights, and then woken the next day to find the room beside her that had used to be so full of activity and noise to be eerily silent. She'd seen the gurneys with bundles of sheets being silently wheeled away. She'd smelled the sickeningly sweet scents of sprays and disinfectants to overcompensate for the smell of death.

These children were dying all around her, every day. And before this time next year, Maya would be the one bundled up in those sheets being carried away in the night.

No spritely, hopeful volunteer worker was going to change any of that, no matter how nauseatingly cheerful or positive they pretended to be.

Maya has no interest in any of it…

And yet, for whatever reason, she finds herself looking up again when the nurses move aside to reveal the face of the newest volunteer.

She isn't at all what Maya had been expecting. Unlike all of the older nurses, with their dark hair and thick-rimmed glasses, this new person was… quite different.

Even in the required baggy blue apron to show she was a volunteer worker, it was evident that this girl had quite a nice figure. Maya notes this first simply because her body is similar to the type Maya knows best: she has the body of a dancer.

And it isn't just her figure that gives her away.

The girl is young, likely not even in high school yet. She's probably close to Maya's own age, at that. Her complexion is flawless and pearly, her long curly hair is light blonde and shines like sunlight…

And her smile…

Maya clears her throat and looks back at her book. Just because this girl is young doesn't mean she'll be any different from all the ones who'd come before her.

In her brief amount of time here thus far, Maya had noticed dozens of prospective volunteers and workers who hadn't lasted a week. She couldn't blame them, being how this place was rooted in depression and pain.

This new girl wouldn't be any different. She'd see one child die and run off crying, only to be replaced by the next person who was trying to prove a point and pretend they were a better person than they really were.

Maya flips the page, pulling her knees up to her chest and pointedly moving herself so she can't see out into the hallway anymore. But even still, she catches the sound of a name.

Saijou Claudine

Over the next few days, Maya finds that her initial judgement of this new volunteer had been sorely mistaken.

All the typical hospital going-ons occur, as per usual.

It started with the usual disruptions. A young boy whining and brattily refusing to eat his vegetables, a girl stumbling and bruising her arm, another girl staying up talking loudly all night, claiming that if she can't sleep, then no one else should be able to, either.

And then, the more severe things.

The girl trying to learn how to walk again falling and being unable to get back up.

A boy spiraling into a coughing fit so badly they need to give CPR.

A night full of sobbing, and then a morning of eerie silence as a gurney is wheeled away…

It's all very normal here. Maya has grown used to it. Just as she's grown used to every new volunteer turning tail and fleeing at the notion of death.

But not this one.

This girl… she's different.

Maya notices her at every turn. No matter where she is in the building, this new girl seems to be nearby.

The boy in the cafeteria who wouldn't eat his greens was soothed by her cute melody which she made up on the spot, something silly and jovial that made the boy laugh, and by the end of the song, he was asking for more vegetables.

The girl who had bruised her arm was treated with calmness and care, and a kiss was left over her band-aid with a magical chant that would stop the pain.

The girl who stayed up all night screaming was joined by the new volunteer, who Maya could hear through the walls, talking to her and creating characters in a story to distract the distressed child. She stayed up with the girl all night long, making up stories and acting out roles with her range of voices, until the child had fallen contentedly asleep.

All of these minor mishaps, Saijou Claudine had handled with extreme care and gentleness.

And even the more difficult ones too.

When a patient fell and failed their physical therapy, or when they lapsed into a coughing fit, or when they collapsed into a seizure, Claudine remained professional, calm, and compassionate. She did everything she could, in spite of the fact that she was so young and unpaid for her troubles, arguably providing better comfort and care than some of the doctors themselves.

She stayed past her required hours to help tragic cases, and came in as early as they would allow her to. She even spent the night when they knew a child wouldn't make it until morning, and would comfort the sobbing, grieving family members with tender compassion.

Maya noticed all of these things that Saijou Claudine did, and she knew there were dozens more she wasn't always around to see.

From all Maya has seen in only those few weeks since Claudine had walked through the hospital doors… she very well might have been an angel.

The angel that all of these children needed.

Even though she couldn't cure them, she did whatever she could to heal what she was able to, or to ease their pain.

Maya rectified her opinion of Saijou Claudine, and silently apologized for judging her so early on.

She was astounding. Genuine. A lovely person with a pure, beautiful soul.

Their eyes had met more than once, but only ever briefly, as Claudine always seemed to be handling a situation. But whenever she wasn't helping with something that demanded her attention, she was giving her attention to the children anyway.

They loved her, especially the younger ones. Maya would walk by the play areas or the library and always find Claudine swarmed by the little ones, who would request that she sing for them, or read in funny voices, or act out the characters in a story.

Those that were physically able to would follow her in basic stretches and dances. And for those who couldn't move, Claudine would play board games or card games or video games with them.

To Maya, it seemed like Saijou Claudine was too good to be true. Some part of her was even curious and wanted an excuse to meet her properly.

She spent several nights wondering how she might be able to find an excuse to walk over to Claudine and strike up conversation with her, or perhaps sit beside her at the cafeteria, or join her in the garden at lunchtime when she noticed Claudine would tend to the flowers.

All of these were valid possibilities for how Maya might formally introduce herself and get to see that dazzling smile directed at herself, and herself alone.

But as was typical, fate wasn't exactly on her side, and evidently had other plans for how the two would meet…

Ever since her diagnosis, Maya's body had notably become a bit weaker and more susceptible to certain things. Perhaps she'd been susceptible to them before, but after she'd been told of her dire situation, it seemed as though her body's immune system had crumbled all the quicker to further solidify the fact that she had cancer.

During her time at the children's hospital thus far, though it has only been a month or so, she'd discovered that the random aches and pains in her body became more frequent and more discomforting, simple tasks like sitting up or walking sometimes made her dizzy, and certain smells and foods suddenly made her nauseous.

Tonight, she finds out the hard way that, evidently, her body has now begun to reject the yogurts she liked to enjoy for dessert. Last night, and all the nights until now, Maya had been able to eat them without incident.

But tonight, she feels an acidic sort of churning in her stomach shortly after eating her dessert. Being that this unfair, unpleasant, and unexpected process of her body randomly deciding it could no longer handle certain foods has happened to her many times now, Maya is hardly surprised that it's continuing to get worse as her condition does.

But tonight, it's bad. So bad she doesn't even make it back to her room from the cafeteria before she starts feeling that sickening nausea in her gut. Her whole body begins to shake and reject the food, and she barely makes it to the nearest restroom.

It's a restroom meant for visitors, as patients like Maya had their own personal bathrooms in their hospital rooms, but she knew she simply wouldn't make it that far.

Staggering into a stall, Maya immediately drops to her knees and begins the unpleasant process of dry heaving as her insides twist and gnarl around themselves.

She hates it. She hates feeling so weak and helpless, when all her life until just a few months ago, she had been the strongest, proudest, most proficient girl in all of Japan.

She hates that she'd somehow developed this death sentence disease, when no one in her family had any history of risk.

She hates that she never got the chance to go to high school, to make friends, or sing or dance or act onstage with them.

She hates that she can hear the echoes of her own pathetic moans and sobs bouncing off the restroom walls as she hacks rank air into the toilet.

This is what she'd been reduced to. This is what she'd become. Pathetically and pitifully far from the star actress she knew she was meant to be.

The sorrow, the anger, the regret… They all make her stomach more and more upset, until she can feel the bile rising up rapidly.

She's used to this pain by now, the smell, the whole vile process. She's ready for it. Ready for more pain, because that's clearly what this life was giving her…

But this time, it isn't quite as painful.

Because right as Maya begins vomiting out the contents of her stomach, two gentle hands come to cup the sides of her face and hold her hair back for her.

Maya wretches, but unlike all the previous times, she doesn't feel that nauseating knot in her stomach so strongly. Instead, she focuses on those gentle hands, and the soft, tender voice that comes with them.

"It's all right."

Maya can't see her face, or any part of her really, due to the fact that her own head is presently halfway down a toilet. But she doesn't need to see her to know who it is.

She'd know that voice anywhere, though this is the first time she'd ever made contact with her.

"It's all right," Claudine says again, as though it were the most evident truth in the world. "You'll be all right. Just breathe."

A mess of emotions coils up inside Maya in that instant; the agony of the sickness, the embarrassment of being found by her when Maya is like this, the want to reject those sweet hollow words when she knows they aren't true…

But somehow, there, crumpled up and shaking on the cold tile floor, while hurling her guts out into the toilet due to her incurable disease that will kill her before the year is up…

As a kind and gentle stranger whispers sweet hopeful nothings, and begins to sing comforting melodies that Maya feels she'd heard in her childhood at some point or another…

This is how she comes to a decision on how she wants to spend her final months of life.

Right then and there, she decides she wants to do whatever she possibly can to help herself live for as long as she possibly can.

She wants to live out until her body's final breath, and not a second sooner.

Because right then and there, on that cold bathroom floor as she's throwing up her supper, is when Maya can no longer deny to herself that she's in love.

In love with a kind stranger with a pretty face and a heart of gold.

In love with a girl who doesn't even know her.

Maya never thought she would ever even get the chance to know what feelings like these were. She assumed she would die before she ever got to know them.

But she knows it now, and that's for certain.

This realization that she has found herself in the throes of a love that is as doomed as Maya herself is - to wither before it even gets the chance to blossom at all - causes her to cry all the harder.

But through it all, Claudine continues to rub her back gently. She gathers Maya's hair to ensure not a single strand gets messy, and when Maya's ribbon gets skewed, Claudine readjusts it for her.

Maya continues to sob and be sick, for far longer than she has any right to be now that her stomach is empty. But even so, Claudine stays by her side.

"You're amazing," she murmurs. "I hope you know that. If you're in this place, it means you've been dealt a terrible hand in life. But even so, you're still here. You're still fighting. You're still crying. And that's really incredible."

Her soft hands rub comforting patterns up and down Maya's back and over her shoulder blades, easing away aches and pains Maya had grown so accustomed to that she'd forgotten she even had them. Maya remains hidden, hunched forward as the spit and snot and tears dribble into the rancid amalgamation beneath her. Claudine must know that breathing it in will only make Maya sick again, because she carefully eases Maya back a little.

Maya clings with all her might onto the toilet, refusing to reveal her face like this. Claudine must understand, because she stops right away, then flushes the toilet to get rid of the bile. Maya's whole body continues to shake with sobs, trembling all over. It's humiliating and terrifying to have come to terms with her feelings like this, when she is already so close to death. She shouldn't feel this way. She can't.

… And yet…

Claudine's arms come to wrap gently around Maya as she leans forward to rest her head against her back.

"Merci." Claudine murmurs the word, and in some distant corner of her mind it clicks for Maya that her blonde hair was the result of foreign genes. "Thank you," Claudine says again. "Thank you for being here. For trying so hard. Please… don't ever stop trying to live…"

By now, Maya has stopped crying, but she can still feel trembling in her body. Claudine breaks down quietly behind her, weeping into Maya's shirt.

For all the times Maya has seen her here, dealing with heartbreaking stories of dying children, Maya has never seen Saijou Claudine's composure shatter.

But of course it would. Of course such a kind and caring girl would put up a brave face in front of everyone else, and then cry herself to sleep alone in her room every night, grieving and mourning for those who were given such a terrible fate. She's so pure, so lovely…

Maya falls more and more deeply in love with her by the second.

Minutes pass, and Claudine continues to be the only one crying now.

Maya, on the other hand, has found her resolve. Slowly, she lifts one of her hands and brings it to lay across Claudine's over her stomach. Though Maya keeps her face hidden, she lets out one single, messy rasp.

"Please…"

She hears Claudine gasp softly, then feels her lift her head off Maya's back to give Maya her full attention. Maya inhales slowly. When she lets it out, it's another sob.

"Please go…"

She doesn't want her first proper meeting with Saijou Claudine to be like this. She doesn't want Claudine to see her face right now.

Though Maya knows her words right now must sound like a rejection, she is all right with that.

Because she intends to make this right with Saijou Claudine in the near future.

More than just make things right - Maya intends to make Claudine her girlfriend.

In the little time she has left, she intends to live her life to the fullest.

But for now, Claudine doesn't know that, of course. She respects Maya's wishes, as Maya already knew she would, and slowly eases herself away. She releases her gentle embrace on Maya's stomach and staggers to her feet.

Maya doesn't look up, but she can hear Claudine sniffling and whimpering all the while as she turns and leaves her. Maya hears the bathroom door close, and then it's only the resounding silence that remains.

At last, Maya picks herself up, but not without one last spit to clear the bile. That is how she feels about her old way of thinking - of the weeks she'd wasted wallowing in self-pity and depression. She spits on those foolish emotions and flushes them away.

She doesn't have much time left.

But she has been given a new purpose in life.

Claudine had given her that purpose.

A new goal. A new dream.

And Maya is going to achieve it.

Even if it's the last thing she ever does.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3. A Request

That night in the bathroom had strengthened Maya's resolve, enough to allow her a decent and even restful night's sleep.

The following morning, she eats her breakfast instead of childishly picking at it while thinking there was no point, that the food was wasted on someone with limited time like her.

No. Today she eats it all, because she knows she's going to need every ounce of her strength.

She sees her nurses and doctors for the routine checkups, instead of making up excuses to push off the appointments. She attends her physical therapy sessions to help ensure she keeps her muscles strong. Then, when she is finished with the more mandatory parts of her daily routine, she spends the rest of the day searching the hospital for a flash of curly blonde hair.

Maya checks the play areas where Claudine would often be sitting and reading to or playing with the younger children, but she doesn't find her there. She then checks the library, where the teenagers like herself would be reading or chatting, but she isn't there, either. Nor is she in any of the other activity rooms where she would typically play or act or sing for the patients. She isn't even out in the garden tending to the flowers as they fight off the incoming autumn chill.

Maya searches for her for nearly two hours to no avail.

And she isn't the only one missing Saijou Claudine.

A little after lunchtime, she overhears a crowd of the younger children as they meet with one of the other volunteers and a nurse.

"Sensei? Is Kuro-Onee-chan here today?"

"She said she was gonna read to us!"

"And we're doing a play together!"

Maya turns to catch the nurse's answer.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Kuro-chan couldn't make it in today. You see, she has to go back to school soon, so she needs to get ready to go to her classes. She won't be able to come and visit as often anymore due to her studies."

Maya can feel her heart falling like those children's faces. But the nurse quickly continues.

"But don't worry. She won't stop coming forever. It just won't be every day. She made sure to tell me to pass along the message that she still promises to do all of the things she told you she'd do with you, just as soon as she's settled into her new schedule at school."

The response from the children is deflated, but still happy. They're just relieved Claudine will be coming back at all.

But for Maya… just a few times a week isn't enough. Especially when Claudine didn't even know her, due to Maya's own coldness and desire to avoid anyone and everyone. If only she'd accepted her feelings from the beginning, she could've been seeing, talking to, and connecting with Claudine all this time.

But now, she's already lost that opportunity.

Maya bites her lip.

No. She'll never be able to see Claudine and be with her enough to form a bond if they'll only be in the same building a few days a week. And even then, Claudine will be with the children more than anyone else. Maya knows she can't impose on that. She can't take Claudine away from the children, or the children away from Claudine.

She's going to have to think of some other way to find Claudine and to spend as much of her remaining time together with her.

Only because this is Maya's new dream, and only because this is the sole, single goal she wants to see through in the short amount of time she has left in life, does she decide to sink to a snooping level for it.

Over the next few days, she listens to the staff and catches wind of where they keep important files and documents. When she can, Maya sneaks into that office and digs up Claudine's file.

All she glances at is the name of the school. Seishou Music Academy.

That's all Maya needs to know.

She hurries out of the office and back to her own room, mumbling silent apologies for having gone about it that way. But since Claudine hasn't come in several days already, Maya had been given no chances to try and speak with her.

But even then, if she wanted to connect with Claudine long enough to be on the level of asking personal information like where she went to school, it would take several days, which would turn into several weeks if Claudine only came once a week right now. Maya simply didn't have that kind of time.

When she makes it back to her room, she closes the door and pulls out her cell phone to call her parents.

To them, she makes one single request.

This was a terrible idea.

Maya had been told this time and again, not only by her parents, doctors, and nurses, but also by a small nagging voice in the back of her own head.

With only four months left to live, her body wasn't going to have the ability to retain its strength for much longer. She wasn't going to be able to move or breathe or sing or act or dance like she used to for much longer. She was still going to get ill and dizzy and experience various aches and pains, and they would only worsen bit by bit.

Therefore, leaving the hospital care to instead live at the student dorms at Seishou Music Academy, and to attend classes there full-time as though she weren't terminally ill and dying, was a terrible idea.

After Maya had made that phone call home to request that her parents get her a school application, her mother and father had come to the hospital and called a meeting with Maya and her doctors. They had all sat through a very arduous and serious conversation about her condition and her dwindling health; even if she still felt and looked mostly fine now, in just a few months she wouldn't even be able to stand on her own anymore.

Maya ensured each and every one of them that she understood the severity of the situation. She made sure they knew she accepted it. And more than any of that, she made sure they understood that she wouldn't be swayed in fulfilling her final wish.

She wanted to be a normal high school freshman with classes and exams and friends.

She wanted to go to school for the art she was born for, for the stage that she loved.

She wanted to meet people and make irreplaceable memories.

She wanted to do whatever she could in the time she had left.

She wanted to have homework, and study for exams, and help fellow classmates with their techniques.

She wanted to fall in love.

For the final months of her life, Maya wanted to have the life she knew she should have. And she wanted to do it at the place where she would find the girl who had given her this new conviction.

Maya would have applied anywhere - wherever Claudine was attending school, even if it was somewhere overseas in Europe and her time here in Japan had only been temporary.

However, for once in her life, Maya had gotten lucky in being right about her assumptions that Claudine had the voice and body of an actress. Claudine was in the same field as her, and had gone from middle school years at Siegfeld Academy, to now transferring over to Seishou Music Academy for high school.

So that's where Maya wanted to go.

Of course, the entire process hadn't been as quick as she'd hoped. On top of taking nearly a week to convince her parents to let her do this, it then took another week for Maya to wait for word back from Seishou after sending in her application. The school year had already started by that point, and she would be applying late, and getting into Seishou in the first place was already quite difficult.

However, due to Maya's unique situation, she was ultimately accepted. The staff knew she was terminally ill, though this was sworn to be kept confidential. Maya wanted no judgement or pity from her peers and classmates. Sick as she was, she knew she would be a student that a prestigious school like Seishou would be proud of, given her bloodline.

Seishou accepted her not only for the sake of having the daughter of the famous Tendos grace their stages, but also to help a dying girl live out her final months as she wished.

The only conditions she was required to adhere to were routine checkups by the school nurse, as well as scheduled appointments at the hospital, and that when Maya was inevitably unable to safely and healthily attend her classes anymore, that she would be withdrawn from Seishou and transferred back to the hospital to prepare for the end of her life in a controlled and comfortable environment.

After accepting these terms, Maya is approved to enroll at Seishou Music Academy.

She is given one of the extra single dorm rooms at Starlight Hall, and her parents help move in her belongings. Maya is given her uniform, textbooks, and all other materials, as rumors and whispers about who she is begin drifting around the school.

Of course, all the students know is that she is a famous purebred actress. None know anything about her cancer or her limit on how long she will be here.

It's a cold Thursday in the start of winter when she may officially begin attending classes.

The staff and teachers had tried to persuade her to start on Monday, to take these two days and the weekend to finish unpacking her things and get acclimated.

But Maya respectfully declined, and insisted she begin her classes as soon as possible.

After all, she had a new dream to see come true, and only four months left to do it.

She wasn't about to waste a second more.

And so, Maya marches forward with her head held high, up the front steps of Seishou Music Academy, and into the place where she would once again find Saijou Claudine, whom she hoped to kiss at least once before her time was up.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4. You'll Never Have Me

One week.

She's only been attending classes at Seishou for one week, after transferring in late out of the blue, but yet somehow this Tendou Maya girl has already knocked Claudine cleanly from the top student position and claimed it for herself.

All in just one week .

"Just who the hell does she think she is…?"

Claudine mutters this for what must be the thousandth time within the past few days. Not only had this new girl appeared out of nowhere to dethrone Claudine to a humbling second place, but she'd also become an instant celebrity with the staff and students. She was head of their class, and not only in acting, singing, and dancing classes, but she even maintained high grades in their lecture classes, as well.

On top of all that, she was gorgeous.

Claudine had always heard the saying that a person couldn't have both good looks and smarts, but clearly this girl had cheated the system somehow.

And as if all of this wasn't bad enough, she was arrogant to top it all off.

Whenever Tendo Maya completed a dance or song or scene, she would stand up tall, puff out her chest, and give a smug grin that showed just how good she knew she was. And all throughout that first week of her transfer, it seemed she was directing that smile at Claudine specifically, more than anyone else.

Which really pissed her off.

Claudine had been perfectly content and comfortable settling into her rightful place at the top for the first month of school. She'd been proud of herself for emerging as the most talented freshman of her class, enough to even catch the attention of some of her upperclassmen.

And then, out of nowhere, all of that has been shattered by this new girl, who had just so happened to be a purebred prodigy born to two famous actors.

It was damn near unbelievable.

And yet, Claudine knows it's all too real, thanks to this churning dread in her stomach as she waits outside with her classmates to get into school that morning.

It's only been ten days now since Maya had transferred in, but it was that time in the semester for grades and ranks to be posted in the main hallway. Claudine fidgets in the crowd of eager girls as they wait to be let in.

"Oy." Her good friend Futaba gives Claudine a nudge in the ribs. "Kuro, quit movin' around so much or you're gonna make yourself sweaty before the day even starts."

"That's right!" Kaoruko whines. "Besides, you're making me nervous."

"Who, you? " Futaba laughs. "What do you have to be nervous about? Being ranked 100th instead of 99th?"

"H-Hey! How dare you insinuate that I would be so low?!"

"I'm just teasin'."

Claudine has to admit their banter has brought her back to her senses and helped her calm down just a bit. She already knows in the pit of her stomach that it won't be her name there in the #1 spot. And that would sting, of course, but it didn't mean she couldn't change it for the next time ranks were displayed.

"Even so," she mumbles. "It pisses me off…"

At last, the doors open, and the girls excitedly begin filing in. When they reach the rank postings, Claudine draws in a deep breath before looking up.

Her eyes pass over the columns of names for a split second, as though she's pretending she doesn't already know her name would be in the top left. But as she'd feared, it isn't the top- most .

Sitting at the peak of the first column is none other than "Tendo Maya," with Claudine's name just beneath it at #2.

Claudine's stomach flips a little as a hot flash of embarrassment washes down the back of her neck. All around her, girls start pointing it out.

"Oh my gosh! That new girl Tendo-san is number one!"

"Wow! She's really talented, huh?"

"It's no surprise. Have you seen her? She's incredible! "

Claudine knows they mean no harm to her by commending her rival, but it still hurts her own pride with every praise Maya accumulates. For several minutes, the hallway is bustling with squealing and murmuring girls. Claudine delves deep into her own thoughts for a moment.

That woman… I don't care what her heritage is. There's just no way she can be that good…

And yet, Claudine had seen for herself just how elegant Maya's movements were, how poised and balanced she was in any dance. She'd heard how she could hold any note for any amount of time, how she could fluctuate her tone and pitch to match any character role she was given.

She was incredible. She was perfect. As Tendo Maya's self-proclaimed rival, Claudine knows this better than anyone else in this school.

She glares up at the rankings list again, eyes burning as she reads over that name in the #1 slot.

Enjoy it now, Tendo Maya. Your name won't be there ever again.

As she loses herself to the complicated thoughts for a moment, Claudine is vaguely aware of the sounds of her friends' voices nearby.

"Look, Mahiru-chan! I'm only six ranks lower than I thought I'd be!"

"Th-That's great. Good job, Karen-chan. Maybe let's ask Hoshimi-san for some tutoring, though…"

"Oooh that sounds like fun! Junna-chan, you should start a tutoring group!"

"Huh? Well, as Class Rep, I guess making sure a classmate doesn't fail would fall under my responsibilities. Alright, sounds good to me."

"Oy, Hoshimi. Sign me and Kaoruko up, too!"

"Eeehh? Futaba-han, I don't need more studying…"

"That ranking says you do, dummy."

Claudine allows a smile onto her face as she hears them all laughing together. So what if she wasn't #1 on the first ranking list of her freshman year? It was annoying, yes, that this prodigy girl came out of nowhere to steal the position from under her nose, but that just meant Claudine could swipe it back and make Tendo Maya's fall all the more satisfying.

For now, all she needed to do was enjoy her time with her friends.

"By the way!" Futaba calls out. "Did we congratulate Kuro yet?"

"That's right!" Mahiru gasps. "Rank 2! That's our Kuro-chan!"

"Salutations, Kuro-chan!"

"Do you mean 'congratulations,' Karen-chan?"

More laughter rises up as the girls move in around Claudine, who is given a hug by Nana, a high-five by Karen, and a fist-bump by Futaba. And suddenly, it doesn't matter to Claudine if she was #2 or #200.

" Merci , everyone. You're all too kind."

"Let's celebrate tonight with some special dessert!" Nana declares.

"Don't forget we actually have to go to classes today first," Junna reminds them.

By now, the eager crowds have begun to disperse from the hallway as everyone starts heading off to their homerooms. With Claudine at the center of her group of friends, they're just about to head off, as well.

Until a certain someone stops Claudine dead in her tracks.

At the very least, Claudine had gotten some kind of warning in the sudden gasps and whispers of the girls around her.

"Hey, look!"

"There she is!"

Claudine's smile turns into a groan.

Because, of course , Tendo Maya herself has made her way through the remaining crowd, walking with a knowing and confident stride on her way to the listings, her long brown hair fluttering out behind her. The other girls part a way for her, even though Maya never once asks them to move.

She pauses just a few feet in front of Claudine to glance up at the rankings. Even before she sees her standing, she's already smiling, but once she confirms her #1 spot, her expression seems all the more smug.

"As expected." Tendo Maya lightly tosses her hair over one shoulder as she turns herself to face Claudine directly. Her eyes flash with triumph, which sends a fresh jab of anger through Claudine's chest.

"What?" she snaps. "Did you come here just to gloat? What poor manners."

The two of them haven't actually spoken two words to one another within the past ten days since Maya had enrolled. Claudine had known something was up with her from the start, and she'd pointedly avoided her for the sake of observation and sizing up the only girl who could truly claim to be her competition.

Even now, Maya projects her confidence with such infuriating calmness that it makes Claudine all the more heated.

"Far from it," Maya purrs. "I did not come here to gloat, but rather, something else entirely."

By now, the dispersing crowd has curiously reformed and started whispering excitedly. Claudine maintains a hard scowl at her opponent.

"Oh? Let's hear it, then."

Maya dips her head.

"Very well."

The crowd quiets down to hear her out, and Claudine expects her to face them all and make some annoying grandiose speech about how talented she is. However, for whatever reason, she continues to face only Claudine, and to meet eyes with her alone.

And just for a split second, Claudine feels something jolt in her chest. She has no explanation for it, and brushes it off as a primal instinct, like when two animals are about to fight in competition for territory. After all, it couldn't be anything more than that.

"Ahem." Maya clears her throat, maintaining her poise and smile all the while as she speaks. "Saijou Claudine. My name is Tendo Maya. I know this is the first time we've formally spoken, so this might come across as a bit sudden, but please go out with me. Seeing as how we are both Top Stars at this school, I believe we would make a wonderful couple."

A beat of silence passes.

Then another.

Then another.

And then all at once-

"Eeeehhh-?!"

"Haaah-?!"

"T-Tendo-san-?!"

"Did she just-?"

"She asked Saijou-san out?! "

"Whaaat?!"

All around them, Claudine's friends and classmates are squealing in a fluster, gasping and dramatically falling against one another and bouncing excitedly in place.

But for all the movement and sound bursting around her, Claudine is the dead opposite. Unmoving and silent, she isn't even sure if she breathes for a good minute. Her vision blurs very briefly, but when she next blinks, Tendo Maya's smug smile is still there looking back at her.

Claudine doesn't even know how to react. She realizes her mouth is getting dry because at some point her jaw had dropped open, and it feels as though there's electricity buzzing through her veins.

This girl… just asked me out…?

There's confusion, of course, but not even one ounce of flattery. Most of what she's feeling right now is just straight-up disbelief and outrage.

And she lets Tendo Maya know it.

"What-?"

Claudine blurts out the word so venomously that it silences the chattering onlookers in an instant. Clearly, this hadn't been the reaction Maya had been expecting either, because though her grin doesn't fade, she does blink in confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

Claudine has only known this girl for ten days, and only from a far distance. This is the first time she's ever properly spoken to her. And she's already fed up with her.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" she snarls, getting right up into Maya's face so they're nose to nose. "You're here for about one week, take the school by storm, and somehow make it to the top of the class, and that's unbelievable enough as it is. But now you… you're asking me out? When you've never spoken two words to me? Not to mention how straightforward, shameless, and unromantic it was! Just- in the hallway before classes on a Wednesday morning? No thoughtful request to meet at a nice location? No sincere words or compliments, or any kind of justification for your supposed interest in me, other than the fact that we're both top-ranked students? How cold, brazen, distant, and unappealing can you be? Never, in all my life - not even in fairytales - have I ever heard of such a soulless, emotionless confession. You are unbelievable . You can have your top rank, Tendo Maya. But I can promise you, you'll never have me ."

With this heated, unmistakable, flat-out rejection, Claudine whirls around, smacking Maya across the nose with the ends of her hair before storming off.

All of the surrounding girls, including Claudine's close friends, wail and whimper and gossip like their lives depend on it. Claudine knows that now, thanks to this spectacle, she'll be hearing about this incident for weeks to come.

But at the very least, she was able to take some satisfaction from all of this; the satisfaction of putting Tendo Maya in her place, and making it perfectly clear to her that she couldn't simply have everything she wanted quite so easily.

Tendo Maya… If you never speak to me again, it'll be too soon.

Saijou Claudine was sweet, tender, caring, and genuine.

These are the truths Maya had learned in her time observing her at the hospital.

And since she had come to Seishou, she'd come to learn that Claudine was also incredibly driven, talented, skillful, and intelligent, as well.

And today, she'd learned a few other things Claudine could be.

Fiery. Hot-tempered. Terrifying.

Evidently, there had been a whole other side to her that Maya had never suspected from the polite, cheerful, kind volunteer who would sing and read to the sick children.

In her natural environment at school, where she could be herself as a high-school freshman, Claudine was able to show her entire self without the guise of formality. She could snarl. She could snap. She could bite.

Tonight, as Maya sits in her single-person dorm room, she replays this morning's events over and over in her head. How Claudine had come at her with such vehemence, such anger and passion. How she'd called Maya out in front of the entire school without a care in the world. Maya can still picture her narrowed eyes blazing with hatred, her pink lips curled back, her soft hair nearly in static from the tension…

One would think such a display would be enough to chase anyone off, or at least strike a bolt of justified fear into their hearts.

So why is it that Maya only feels all the more drawn to her…?

She has to admit, Claudine was absolutely right. Maya's way of asking her out had been quite brazen and emotionless. Though Maya knew her quite well by now from her observations, Maya herself was a stranger in Claudine's eyes. Thinking she would go out with her solely because they were top students and without any other reason given was, indeed, quite foolish of Maya, and she understands that now.

The fact that Claudine had rejected her thoughtless confession proves that she is exactly the kind of girl Maya hoped she would be. Had she said yes and agreed right then and there, it would have been a pretty shallow relationship from the beginning.

Of course, Maya hadn't set up this confession with ulterior motives to 'test' Claudine. She'd simply thought it was best to appeal to Claudine's logical side rather than to her emotions. Being that they had only just met, Maya knew that Claudine wouldn't hold any sort of romantic feelings toward her. And so, Maya had tried to appeal to her pragmatic side, hoping that Claudine would accept her as a worthy rival student, if nothing else, and date her because they were on the same level academically.

Of course, things hadn't worked out that way.

But again, Maya is almost glad they hadn't. Claudine deserved to be asked out over a treated lunch, with a beautiful scene of flowers and sunshine at the backdrop while Maya sang her praises and confessed her admiration of Claudine's heart rather than her ranking.

And Maya would love nothing more than to give that to her. If only she wasn't on a time limit, she absolutely would have found a way to make that happen.

However, as she is, taking her chance right from the start had been her best gamble. She'd gotten shot down, which meant confessing again next week and the week after would bear the same results. She has to learn from this failure and use it to think of a way to breed success instead.

It will take time. And maybe, it will take more time than Maya has left.

But even if her life runs out before she can make Claudine her girlfriend, she would be pleasantly satisfied if that was the goal she died trying for.

It's only the very next day, at their early-morning dance lessons, when their instructor makes a very… annoying announcement.

"We've finished the solo training regimes. From here on out, we'll primarily be practicing techniques that require partners. After several weeks of watching you girls and taking notes on your individualized abilities and limitations, I've made a list of the best-suited pairs based on your capabilities. Tendo, Saijou. You're up first."

Claudine doesn't even have the chance to react to this news, let alone process it. Once again, her jaw drops from incredulous disbelief. She gapes in complete outrage as Maya slowly struts her way to the center of the room, smiling pleasantly all the while, almost as if she'd planned this and it was somehow working out perfectly in her favor.

"Yes, Sensei." Maya responds to their instructor's call like any good student would. She then turns to the crowd of classmates and meets Claudine's eyes directly as she offers out her hand. "Saijou-san. Won't you come join me?"

It takes every fiber of her being to resist the urge to smack that hand away in front of the entire class and their instructor. In fact, she has no choice but to accept Maya's hand, or else she would just come off as rude to her new dance partner. Claudine plasters on a smile as she places her hand a bit roughly into Maya's.

" Oui . Let's do this then, shall we?" She glares up at Maya with a dangerous smile, warning her not to get cocky.

And in a perfect demonstration of ignoring that warning, Maya gives a tug and pulls Claudine in, looping her other arm around her back and pulling Claudine forward until they are flush-up against one another. Only Maya, since she is so close to her now, notices the faint, startled gasp that flies up from Claudine's lips at the sudden movement. Maya lowers her voice for only her to hear.

"My… Have I stolen away your breath before we've even started…?"

Claudine gives her a subtle shove to ease them apart the proper distance, and gives Maya the most furious glare she's ever mustered.

Their instructor gives them the okay to begin the routine.

It just so happened that Maya had claimed the part of the lead by taking Claudine's hand in such a way, so Claudine has no choice but to follow her.

"Excellent," their teacher says. "Now the rest of you would do well to take notes. Pay attention to Tendo's pacing at this part…"

Though their instructor offers plenty of praise about Claudine's movements as well, she doesn't hear any of them. In fact, the whole rest of the world and her senses have dropped away, because right now Tendo Maya is the only thing filling every piece of her.

This faint, plum-like scent is the scent of her enemy.

These flawless, confident movements are the techniques of her rival.

This soft, smooth skin is the body of her opponent.

That smug grin, and those silver eyes…

Claudine is going to dethrone her, and she is going to savor every second of it.

But it's near the end of their number when a realization hits her.

With any other partner Claudine has ever practiced with, she had always needed to be hyper-aware of them. By no fault of their own, her partners had simply never been on quite the same level as Claudine was, and so she would often have to pay close attention to them to ensure she wouldn't move too quickly, make them stumble, or start a movement they weren't ready for.

But this time… with Tendo Maya… she doesn't have to think at all.

She doesn't have to worry about slowing down or pausing or compensating for her weight. She doesn't have to take note of the other person and consider if they're getting tired.

No… Right now, Claudine can dance like she's never danced before.

She doesn't need to keep up with Maya, nor does Maya need to keep up with her. Their pacing is naturally perfect together. They move as one, without thinking, without effort. Their bodies simply move , and it just feels magnificent.

And by the time she realizes this, the dance has already ended, with Claudine suspended over Maya's knee, steadied by a hand on her back and the balance created by her outstretched arms.

An applause goes up, but Claudine doesn't hear it. She just stays there, her pulse flitting with delight and electricity the likes of which she's never felt before.

This is what dancing should be like for her. This is what she's truly capable of.

But why did it have to be Tendo Maya , of all people, who proved to be her perfect partner…?

Maya keeps here there a moment longer than she needs to. Her long brown hair falls down in front of her shoulders and as far down as Claudine's, shielding their faces from the rest of the room. Maya never wipes the smirk off her face for a second.

"You seem a bit breathless, Saijou-san, and your heart is pounding. Please be sure to drink plenty of water."

Claudine bares her teeth.

"Why you-"

Before she can finish, Maya hoists her back up to her feet, and their brief moment of privacy is over. The next pair is called up to perform, and Claudine rejoins Futaba and Kaoruko on the sidelines. She refuses to look at Maya for the remainder of the class.

She's annoying, infuriating, she downright pisses her off…

And yet Claudine can't deny for a second that that had been her best dance ever, and her heart continues to pound well after class has ended.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5. It's Nothing

When Claudine had begun her freshman year at Seishou a little over two months ago, she had everything going for her to reach rank 1 in her class.

Regrettably, she had had to lessen her visits to the children's hospital so that she could focus on her studies, though she still made time to volunteer there any chance she got.

She didn't tell her classmates about this; it was something she wanted to keep private, just for herself. She loved those children, and even the teenagers her own age who were struggling there, and she wanted to do everything she possibly could for them within her power.

But because she had limited her days at the hospital, Claudine was able to use the majority of her time focusing on school. She had the motivation, the talent, the passion, the unflagging desire to keep pushing herself to improve. On top of achieving excellent grades in the physical classes, she excelled in her academic lectures as well.

And somehow, she also was able to make friends with six of her fellow freshmen.

She would spend some days after school practicing dance and giving tips to Karen and Mahiru. She would spend her evenings studying with Nana and Junna. And she would spend her weekends relaxing and cleaning, and occasionally working out with Kaoruko and Futaba. She ate her meals together with everyone, and had quickly grown attached to everyone in the friend group.

Tendo Maya hadn't exactly fallen under the category of someone Claudine would've willingly let into that group.

She was conceited, brazen, rude, and had no concern for Claudine's feelings. This was her first impression of Tendo Maya.

Claudine didn't care who her parents were, or how famous she was, or how incredibly talented she was. None of that meant anything if her personality was lacking. After Maya had asked her out so randomly and without reason, Claudine had vowed that she would never date this girl - not that she even wanted to.

And yet…

As the days continue, she finds herself looking Maya's way more and more often. Not only because they are dance partners in lessons now, and not only because Maya's schedule had been shifted around so that she was in every single one of Claudine's lectures, and not only because she spends every waking moment of her life trying to woo Claudine and ask her out again and again…

But because maybe… just maybe, she isn't quite as bad as Claudine had initially thought.

She was arrogant - that much was for certain - but as the weeks go by and Claudine begins to see more of Maya, she's able to read her more accurately.

She is poised and perfect on the dance floor in lessons, and yet she sits alone at lunchtime and eats far too many sweets.

She is articulate and helpful during lectures, and yet she is so socially awkward that she can't communicate effectively with an inquisitive classmate for her life.

And she is direct and confident with every single method she tries when asking Claudine out day after day…

And yet, Claudine can't help but notice something off about her.

She can't quite place it. Is it just Maya's social awkwardness bleeding into the randomness of her seemingly-baseless confessions? Claudine can hardly believe it's genuine nervousness that stems from actual romantic feelings.

No. It's something else. Something almost desperate - maybe even almost scared - as if Maya had lost a bet, as if she were under some sort of pressure…

It isn't obvious at first, but as the days pass and Maya's daily confessions and flirting continue, Claudine makes note of certain things. A slight wobble in Maya's smirk, a flash of something weak across her eyes, a small quiver in her voice…

Claudine just can't figure her out.

Regardless, she rejects Maya every time.

One day, Maya catches her eye in the changing room, and pointedly removes her blazer with deliberate slowness.

"Saijou-san? If you would like to touch me, then please do not hesitate."

Claudine, who hadn't realized she might've been staring, immediately grabs her leotard and storms off to change elsewhere.

"As if!"

Of course, Maya follows.

"Please. It was a genuine offer. I meant no offense. After all, my body is second only to yours."

"Creep!"

"I truly do mean it."

"Whatever."

And though it might not have been the best, most acceptable way of saying it, Claudine did understand that Maya meant it.

Another day, Maya approaches her at lunch and hovers behind the seat across from her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Claudine snorts.

"Actually, yes. Futaba and Kaoruko will be joining me."

She hadn't meant to be rude unless Maya had been annoying enough to combat that same energy. But this time, Maya's shoulders slump, just a little.

"Oh. I see…"

And Claudine can't tell if it's just an act, or if she's genuinely hurt. But for risk of the second, she quickly kicks out the seat beside her.

"This one is free though…"

Maya lights up, though it is subtle and silent, and graciously accepts the chair.

And another day, after their evening showers, Claudine finds herself struggling with a particularly stubborn knot in her damp hair. And of course, Maya just so happens to always take her showers at the same time as her, so she is drying off at the same time as well.

"Saijou-san? Please allow me."

And Claudine relents, not because she didn't think she could handle something so trivial on her own, but because she just wants to see how Maya would approach the situation.

"Fine."

Already, she's somewhat impressed. When they were in front of their classmates together in a dance or acting out a scene, Maya would always touch her out of necessity.

But now, when they're alone like this, Maya doesn't come near her until Claudine has given her permission.

When Maya takes the brush from her, she begins smoothing out the ends of Claudine's hair so softly and carefully that she barely makes any contact at all. Claudine hides a smirk behind the sleeve of her robe and rolls her eyes.

"You're not going to get it out if you don't push harder."

Behind her, Maya pauses.

"But I do not want to cause you any pain."

Claudine ignores the way her heart does something strange in her chest.

"Just brush it normally. You're not going to hurt me."

Maya hesitates, but eventually starts putting a bit of force into her motions.

Claudine can feel Maya's hands in her hair, quivering with uncertainty as though she'd made the initial offer to help without fully understanding what she would have to do.

When it came to Claudine, Maya seemed to act first and think later.

It was annoying, childish…

And sort of cute.

Maya gently eases through the knot so painstakingly slowly that it takes three times longer than it would've if Claudine had just done it herself. But in the end, Maya smoothes her hair so perfectly that not a single strand had come off in the brush.

Things like that kept happening. Instances of Maya's confident front that she showed in front of others crumbling when she and Claudine were alone.

The girl who preached every correct answer in every class would fall asleep on Claudine's shoulder while studying.

The proud, confident actress the rest of the class knew would freeze up and internally panic at the sight of a horror film she and Claudine would try to watch together.

The classmate whom everyone looked up to and admired and asked for advice was awfully pouty and childish when she couldn't get a baumkuchen for dessert.

It was these little things - these human things - that let Claudine accept keeping Maya around.

She still rejects Maya every day with each new suave confession, but she does so in a playful manner. Because she knows Maya is more than up for the challenge of winning her over, and secretly enjoys it when Claudine plays hard to get.

After two and a half months of being classmates together now, it's almost become a game of sorts for them.

Every day, Maya tries to woo her and win her over with some extravagant, flirtatious line. Claudine rejects her, either heatedly or coyly depending on the situation and how she's feeling that day, thus giving Maya the motivation to change her tactics and try again tomorrow.

Even on the weekends, Maya made it a point to find Claudine when she was practicing, or showering, or on her way into town to do some shopping.

Claudine just made sure no one ever caught her on her way to or from the hospital. She'd often come home exhausted from that, but usually in the best way. Futaba and the others would always ask her where she'd been and why she was so late getting back, so Claudine always has to make something up.

But for whatever reason, Maya never inquires about where it is she goes on those days. She simply joins Claudine in the showers, and then proceeds to dry and brush her hair for her afterward.

And of course, Claudine makes it a point to return the favor, though Maya always insists she doesn't need to. Claudine always responds with something like, "Nonsense. You did it for me, so I can't just accept it without offering anything in return," and will then proceed to tend to Maya's hair for her. Maya always falls silent when Claudine is tending to her, as though she's forgotten how to speak entirely.

Tonight, it's exactly the same. Claudine finishes blow-drying Maya's hair for her, then begins to brush through it.

"I don't mind doing this sort of thing for you," she says. "If it means you'll actually be quiet for three minutes."

Maya chuckles softly.

"Oh? Perhaps I should change that-"

"Just shut up and relax."

"As you wish."

Claudine strokes the brush through Maya's long, luscious hair. Maya holds onto her violet ribbon in her lap, waiting for her to finish.

Claudine has gotten accustomed to this by now, to the point where she can always have it done in a set amount of time. With one last gentle pull of the brush from top to bottom, Claudine steps back and straightens up.

"There. You're all set."

"Thank you very much."

Claudine is about to return the brush to the vanity. But as Maya gets to her feet, she staggers without any warning at all. Claudine yelps, dropping the brush as she dives forward to catch her. Maya sways, moaning softly as her ribbon flutters to the floor.

"Hey! Tendo Maya? What's gotten into you?"

Claudine hears a sharp inhale from her, but it's clear that Maya is keeping it down.

"It's nothing." Maya quickly straightens herself up and presents Claudine with a charming smile. "I must have stayed in the shower a bit too long. The heat just made me a little dizzy. That's all."

Cautiously, Claudine steps away and lets her go.

"You… are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yes. I suppose that's my indication to go straight to bed and not stay up studying. You should do the same, Saijou-san."

Claudine narrows her eyes. She doesn't like how Maya had so quickly and smoothly deflected the topic away from herself and directed it at her instead.

Slowly, Claudine bends down to pick up the fallen items, placing the brush on the vanity. But when she glances down at Maya's ribbon in her palm, she pauses.

She can't explain why. She's seen Maya wear this ribbon every single day for the past nearly three months. So why is something now suddenly nagging at the corners of her mind? As if she's witnessed a scene like this somewhere before…

"Let's be off then, shall we?"

Maya takes her ribbon back from Claudine, then turns and begins making her way out of the restroom lounge.

Claudine feels a sudden discomfort forming in her stomach, but she hurries after Maya nonetheless.

Maya is completely fine and her usual annoying self for the remainder of the evening, seeing Claudine off to her room with a wink and a blow of a kiss. But Claudine is too lost in her own thoughts tonight to playfully swipe away that kiss this time.

She retreats quietly to her bed and lies down. She tries to think, but she can't seem to bring up any thoughts in particular about anything.

But just before she falls asleep, she feels as though she catches a certain scent. One she knows.

It's the scent of the flowers she'd been tending to back at the hospital.

As if having one transfer student join Seishou's freshman class late in the year hadn't caused enough excitement, three months after Maya enrolls, in the heart of winter, Kagura Hikari enters Seishou as well.

It's clear to Claudine that she has some sort of history with Karen, which complicates things a bit between her and Mahiru. But even so, Hikari somehow manages to fit into and become part of the group, albeit a bit distantly.

And to further add to the complicated school year Claudine and her classmates have going for them, she and her eight closest friends are then selected to join some sketchy underground stage overseen by a talking giraffe.

Weekly, varying pairs of the girls are made to face off against one another, battling with real weapons for the position of Top Star. They all accept these auditions willingly, even though they all have a plethora of other personal things going on in their everyday lives. It's just another thing Claudine adds to her plate, but one she can't possibly refuse.

Especially not since the next semester's class list rankings will soon be on display. Tendo Maya had bested her once, but Claudine absolutely refuses to let her do it again, be it on the giraffe's underground stage or on Seishou's official one.

And so, these midnight revues become a fiery addition to everyone's routines.

On top of Maya keeping up with her usual antics to tease and flirt with Claudine on a daily basis, she now also goads and challenges her during their revues. By sheer stroke of luck, Maya claims victory on their first battle against one another. Claudine is convinced it was luck and nothing more.

She's also convinced she'll never hear the end of it.

After that, Maya is relentless. Constantly saying things to her like, "Please try to keep up with me, Saijou-san," and "I can keep moving forward knowing you are just behind me," and other infuriating lines of that nature. Things that both motivate Claudine and piss her off to no end.

And yet, as unforgiving as Maya is with her taunting comments… the softer, more genuine ones are just as frequent.

One moment she is critiquing Claudine's dances movements without being asked to, and the next she is taking her hand and guiding her down the hallway to her room, because Claudine pushed herself so hard she could barely stay awake on her feet.

One moment Maya is making her fume because she'd made Claudine blush in front of her entire class, and the next she is making Claudine burst into laughter because Maya has a bit of baumkuchen sticking out the side of her mouth as she studies.

One moment, Maya is criticizing the likelihood of a soap opera's ridiculous scenario, and the next she is gently and fretfully wiping away Claudine's tears because she'd gotten too invested in the story and burst out crying when the couple had gotten married.

For every smug comment, Maya has a sweet smile.

For every boastful look, she has a gentle hand.

For every suave movement, she has a genuine request.

"Saijou-san? Would I be safe to assume that today is the day you will accept my request and become my girlfriend?"

And as always, Claudine plays her part.

"In your dreams," she says, before strutting off.

But keep it up, Tendo Maya. And I can promise you that by our second year, you and I will be the most incredible couple this school has ever seen.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6. Lie To Me

That was Claudine's hope.

After spending three months with Tendo Maya, she had admitted that her initial opinion of her had been wrong. Rather, it hadn't been entirely true.

Maya was, in fact, still a stuck-up prodigal genius who only needed to put in half the effort Claudine put in to achieve even better results.

She was still an infuriating, brazen, haughty girl who rode into class on her high horse every single morning.

She was still annoying, and a know-it-all, and a teacher's pet…

But she was also extremely caring, watching out for Claudine when she practiced, and coaxing her to stop before she exhausted herself too badly.

She was also extremely sweet, taking care to brush Claudine's hair for her, walk with her back to her room at night, and wish her sweet dreams.

She was also extremely childish and cute, always eating sweets or falling asleep on Claudine's shoulder or whimpering at scary movies.

She was everything Claudine had first thought she was… and so much more.

She deserved every lead role she ever got.

She deserved that #1 rank on the class list.

She probably even deserved Top Star in the giraffe's ongoing revues…

That's why Claudine doesn't understand one day, in the thick of winter, when everything changes.

She and her friends had just gotten back into classes after winter holiday, where they'd celebrated Christmas gift exchanges and stayed up all night together for a New Year's party. It's the second week of January, their first week back in classes, and even with the giraffe's revues drawing to a pressured climax soon, Claudine is convinced she'd never felt better.

So why is it that Tendo Maya isn't there waiting for her at breakfast like she always was?

Why isn't she waiting outside to walk with her to school and press close against her side to keep her warm?

Why isn't she in homeroom, or second period, or dance lessons, or lunch? Why isn't she at afternoon classes?

Why doesn't she at least join Claudine in the studio for their after-school training sessions?

Why isn't she there with her in the showers that evening…?

Claudine hadn't heard a clear answer from anyone about Maya's whereabouts that day. She'd texted her multiple times with no response, as well.

She's so worried by that point in the evening that she doesn't even bother drying or brushing her hair before she hurries down the dorm hall toward Maya's room to interrogate Maya herself.

But she finds the room locked, and when she calls out for her, it's clear there is no one inside. Desperate and unsure of what more she can do for an answer, Claudine visits the dormitory nurse to inquire whether Maya had been there today. The nurse gives Claudine a very quiet, very placated, and almost pitied look.

"I'm sorry, dear," she says. "All I can tell you is that Tendo-san needed to take a personal day."

"But where is she—?" In her worry and her haste, Claudine doesn't even have the sense to try and stop it from sounding like a demand. "Why isn't she here? When will she be coming back?"

"I'm sorry. All of that is classified information."

Claudine can see the torment in the nurse's face. She wants to tell Claudine what's going on, but legally she can't. As someone who had volunteered at a hospital and been informed about a lot of sensitive information, Claudine knows she can't fault the nurse for respecting her patient's privacy.

But it sure doesn't make it any easier for Claudine to sleep that night.

The nurse's response had proven to Claudine that Maya's absence today was, in fact, due to something medical. But if it was some routine checkup or appointment, why wasn't Maya messaging her back to tell her everything was all right…?

Claudine curls up in her bed clutching her phone, hoping Maya will just answer her.

For hours on end, Claudine's stomach churns with nausea, and her heart pounds with the most awful kind of worry.

It had been about four months since she'd met her.

And today had been the first day when Tendo Maya hadn't asked Claudine to be her girlfriend.

It had become a comforting constant in Claudine's life, to expect and anticipate whenever or however Maya might ask her at any point in the day, how she might make a big scene and draw a crowd and get everyone excited and swooning.

But today… Claudine hadn't seen her at all, or heard a single word from her.

It was simply awful.

Claudine finds that she can't stand the beating of her own heart tonight. It's too distracting. She rolls onto her back so she won't have to feel it as much.

Eventually, from sheer fatigue alone, she falls asleep while waiting for a text that never comes.

Maya had been attending her scheduled visits to the hospital as she'd promised as a part of the deal to allow her to go to school. She'd known from the very beginning that her health would only continue to deteriorate as her final months went on.

So it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to her that night when she'd woken to a throbbing ache in her chest and an inability to get up.

She knew she was dying. She'd always known that. But she just wished it didn't have to happen so soon.

Not when she'd made such wonderful friends. Not when she'd fallen in love…

Of course, that's exactly what she'd wanted; to enjoy her final months like any high school girl should. The whole point of this deal had been so she could make friends and grow close to the person she cared about. She just hadn't expected it to be so terribly painful to realize it was truly coming to an end. More painful than the ailments of her terminal disease.

That night, as she'd struggled to reach for her phone, gasping and shaking, her mind had been on Claudine alone.

Not yet— Maya willed herself. I should still have one month left in me…

By sheer force of will, she'd managed to grasp her phone and dial the nurse, who had agreed to be on constant standby in case Maya should ever need her. She'd arrived only minutes later with several of the teachers, and together they had quietly taken Maya from her room.

Before Maya knew it, she was back in the same hospital bed she'd found herself in four months earlier. The nurses, the doctors, her parents… They were all there, muttering and running tests and injecting her with all sorts of things.

By some miracle, they managed to stabilize her, and Maya spent the entirety of the next day in the hospital. But she made sure to eat her meals fully, to get out of bed and stretch and move herself.

She was fine. She could go back to Seishou tomorrow. She couldn't waste any more of the precious little time she had left.

She had never intended to deceive Claudine or keep her illness from her. Maya simply hadn't wanted to lay such a heavy burden on someone who was just a friend. However, had Claudine accepted to date Maya and become her girlfriend, Maya would have been honest with her as any partner should.

She'd hoped that Claudine would be able to be with her until the very end, as her romantic partner. Even though Maya understands that is still too enormous a burden to present to a high school girl, she had selfishly thought she would at least be able to pass on peacefully if she could do so while knowing that Claudine's heart belonged to her.

But in reality, Maya knew that line of thinking was flawed—horrible, even. Even if she had become intimate with Claudine… to then tell her she had terminal cancer and only a few more weeks to live? It would have ruined Claudine's life entirely, made her distraught beyond comprehension.

Even if she accepted it and was sweet and loving with Maya until her final breath, the whole ordeal would have broken Claudine irreparably.

This would have been far too unfair to ask of her. And when she was only a high school freshman?

The sad and honest truth of it all was that Claudine would be heartbroken about this terrible situation that had weighed down on her first year at Seishou, to the point where it would likely have major detrimental effects on her school performance.

But even more painful than that was the reality that she would have the rest of her life to move on, to date other people, to fall in love with someone else. She would leave Maya behind, because Claudine would have the time left to do so and live out her life.

Just because Maya didn't have the privilege of time didn't mean she should take Claudine's enjoyment of her own life away from her with such a selfish wish.

It's taken her four months to understand this, but Maya realizes it now.

She'll go back to Seishou, just for her few final weeks. But she won't try to win Claudine over anymore. She won't drag her any further into this than she already has. Maya will simply be the best student she possibly can be with what limited time and abilities she has left.

She's landed the lead roles, and sang the songs, and stood onstage like she always knew she could.

She's made the friends she'd always wanted to make.

And she's fallen in love - madly and deeply - just like she'd always dreamed she might. And she'd done it with the most intensely passionate, explosively expressive, and beautifully adorable girl in the world.

This is enough.

This is enough…

Maya's got one month left to live.

So she'll live it as best she can.

In spite of her intentions from the night before, when the next morning comes, Maya ultimately decides not to return to Seishou Academy after all.

After having the night to think it all over, she comes to the conclusion that she would rather disappear from her friends' lives suddenly and without warning. No one had suspected anything was wrong with her, and so no one will come looking for her or asking questions. She'll simply be gone, and there will be nothing anyone can do about it.

Yes, it would cause them great distress and a desperate demand for answers. But Maya hopes they will forgive her for that, for she believes it would be better for them than if they knew the truth.

She would rather be a mysterious, healthy, beautiful memory in their minds than the pitiful, sickly girl she knows she is about to become.

For these reasons, Maya asks her parents to officially withdraw her from Seishou.

By the next day, the paperwork is in, and her parents have moved all of her belongings back to her household bedroom. Not that she will be needing any of those things any longer.

For the next few days at the hospital, Maya is subjected to more intense tests, stronger injections, and more monitored treatments. Even though everyone knows it's no use. They're just delaying the inevitable for as long as they possibly can now.

And though Maya still thinks it would be best for them to not waste any more medicine, equipment, or effort on her, she knows how horribly selfish it would be of her to tell them as much.

Therefore, she lets the professionals do as they must.

In the brief amounts of time in between treatments and checkups, Maya reads over some of the books and scripts her parents had brought back from Seishou for her. She scans the lines of those scripts fondly, able to hear each of her friends' voices as they'd spoken out the lines of their respective roles.

This is what gets Maya through the day and allows her to rest at night. Her friends.

Though she had only gotten to have four months with them, she'd created so many precious and irreplaceable memories. Junna's analysis of various characters, Kaoruko's babbling gossip as Maya soaked beside her in the baths, Karen's exuberant, nonsensical answers to the study questions Mahiru asked her. Nana's daily baked treats presented with a grin, Futaba's excitable cheering while watching kendo matches on TV, Hikari's crunched expression when she bit into a cookie that Karen had put salt into instead of sugar.

And Claudine.

Claudine was always on her mind, no matter what hour of day or night it was.

Claudine's voice as she sang, her movements when she danced, her expression when she acted.

Her shrieks of terror at the scary movies, her adorable whimpers at the sad ones, her exasperated shouts at the dramatic ones.

The bounce of her hair as she walked down the hallway, the rasp of her sleepy voice in the morning, the glee in her eyes after finishing a dance with Maya…

The last thing Maya had said to her was the routine request that Claudine be her girlfriend.

And the last thing Claudine had said to her was "In your dreams."

And so Maya takes that and keeps it for herself.

She imagines the things she would do if she could live a full life, and if Claudine was her girlfriend.

She dreams of what they would do, how they would raise each other ever higher, how happy they would be together…

She knows her phone is ringing. She knows there are worried messages waiting for her.

But she doesn't dare to look. She doesn't dare to answer.

She doesn't want the proof of just how worried they all are about her - the proof of just how much they love and care about her. She can't read them, or else she knows she will break and respond to them.

And she's already decided it will be best for everyone if 'Tendo Maya' simply disappears without a trace.

So she ignores her phone, all day and all night, until the charge depletes.

Maya curls up in her hospital bed, aching and woozy, and just closes her eyes to dream.

One day without Maya had proven worrisome enough, considering the way she'd seemingly up and vanished off the face of the planet.

To say Claudine had spent the entire night tossing and turning from the anxiety would be a severe understatement. And it only got worse the next morning when she woke to find it hadn't all just been some odd nightmare.

Maya hadn't responded to her messages, either, and when she checks with the rest of her friends at breakfast, she finds they'd received the same silence.

All throughout the day, Claudine can't focus in her classes or lessons. She does, however, use dance class as an excuse to make her inquiries formal.

"Sensei?" It's all she can do to keep her voice from trembling. "Tendo Maya isn't here again. Do you know where she's been?"

A couple of her classmates chime in with their own concerned comments.

"Wait, not even Saijou-san knows where Tendo-san is?"

"I thought for sure she would've told her own partner…"

"I guess it's private…"

Claudine swallows as her colleagues more or less confirm that no one has any idea about her partner's whereabouts. She doesn't even breathe as she waits for the teacher to turn to her and reply.

"I suppose this is as good a time as any to break the news," she sighs. "Evidently, as of this morning, Tendo has officially withdrawn from the school due to personal reasons."

A chorus of shocked voices explodes from the room.

"Eeehhh?"

"She withdrew?!"

"No way!"

"But she was the top student!"

"Something must've happened—"

Even Claudine's friends join in the dismayed commentary.

"What-?! Tendo-san left?!"

"That's terrible! I hope she's all right…"

"She left? And she did it without even saying goodbye to us?"

"That's kinda messed up…"

"It must've been something serious. There's no other reason why Maya-chan would have disappeared like that…"

As the bustle continues, Claudine remains stunned and still.

So it was true. Her worst fears were coming to fruition. Not only had Maya vanished without warning, but she didn't intend to come back, either. She very well might've already left the country. She could be anywhere. There was no telling, since she hadn't left a single trace or hint behind.

Clearly, that meant she wasn't allowed to be found, or she simply didn't want to be.

Claudine is overcome with an awful wrenching feeling in her gut, so sickening it causes her to sway on her feet. Kaoruko and Futaba grab onto each of her arms to keep her steady, but they can do nothing to stop the tears. They sting as they dribble down Claudine's cheeks, burning streaks in her skin. All she can manage is one simple word.

"No…"

All around her, the rest of her class is in despair, as well. Their instructor doesn't seem to want to be in the mood to teach them like this, either.

"I'm sorry to be the one to give you all this sad news. If you don't feel you can participate today, then please take the afternoon off. But for the rest of you, the show must go on."

The whimpered murmurs turn to sighs as the girls start picking themselves up and trying to push past the news.

"Come on," Junna mutters. "We've gotta focus in class. It's what Tendo-san would've wanted."

And as much as Claudine agrees, and as badly as she wants to channel her emotions into song and dance, she just doesn't feel she could physically manage it. Her stomach is in knots, her legs are shaking, and the tears just won't stop coming.

"Kuroko…"

"Kuro-han…"

All of her friends gather round to try and support her as best they can.

"I'm sorry," Nana says. "If Maya-chan had told any of us where she was going or why, you know we'd tell you."

"Kuro-chan…" Mahiru always cries at the sight of her friends crying, so she quietly wraps her arms around Claudine and hugs her gently.

Claudine tries to breathe and steady herself, preparing to push through it all and get on with class as she knows Maya would expect her to. But then she notices their instructor heading her way. Ms. Sakuragi catches her eye specifically.

"Saijou."

Claudine gives Mahiru a soft pat on the back before easing away from her.

" Merci …" she murmurs to her friends, though it's so full of sorrow that no one believes her. She then slowly makes her way to her instructor, who motions for Claudine to follow back a few paces to the side of the room.

"Take today off, Saijou."

"Huh?" Claudine quickly wipes off her face. "That's… not necessary. I have to-"

"I'm not asking, Saijou." Here, Ms. Sakuragi checks around briefly before continuing in a lower voice. "Didn't you used to volunteer at that children's hospital across town? I think you'd do well to stop by again."

With this, Ms. Sakuragi turns back to address the class and get started.

Claudine is left puzzled now on top of the shock and pain of the news that she was never going to see Tendo Maya again. Not personally, at least. She would probably go on to make waves overseas and end up in various shows and films and plays so that Claudine will see her in the headlines. Her only shot of seeing her again now is likely to continue working hard so that she might be good enough to someday end up wherever Maya is, in the same big city or on the same movie set.

Keep practicing. Keep improving. Keep pushing. It's the only thing Claudine can think to do to be able to see her again.

So why…?

Why is Sensei making me take the day off? Why is she telling me to-

It hits her, and it hits her hard.

That her teacher hadn't simply suggested she go visit the children to clear her head or do something productive elsewhere if she couldn't dance. It's not as glorified and noble as all of that.

"No…"

It can't be true. It can't be.

Had Claudine a shred less of willpower than she possessed, she might've been sick right then and there with how tightly her insides are twisting.

Ripping herself from her frozen shock, she pelts back across the hallway, tearing off her leotard and throwing her uniform back on in a haphazard blur before taking off. She races out of the building and off campus into the freezing winter afternoon. The sky is white and quiet, and leftover snowfall still dapples the edges of lawns and rooftops.

As she runs, Claudine moves more quickly than even some of the traffic does. She doesn't feel the temperature, only the gushing of the blood in her veins.

No. It can't be… Please, no…

She'll go. Even though she wasn't expected to visit today, she'll go to the hospital just to prove to herself that she's wrong, and that Maya isn't a patient there. She'll go just to prove that Maya is nowhere to be found in that building, to prove that she's happy and healthy anywhere else.

"Not there… Oh, please…"

She doesn't have time to wait for the bus' schedule. Claudine runs all the way across town, barely even slowing at the crosswalks before bolting across the street. It feels as though it takes her hours until she finally sees the tall glass building.

Claudine rushes up the steps, nearly stumbling now as she slows her pace at the entrance. She doesn't bother to catch her breath, though, as she hurries in past the automatic doors. The woman at the front desk looks up in surprise.

"Saijou-san? I didn't know you were scheduled to visit today."

"I'm not-" Claudine pants. "But I-I need to see someone… if someone is… I need to-"

Claudine's frazzled appearance and distressed expression must be explanation enough, because the woman gets a sad, concerned look in her eye.

"I understand."

Claudine knows this response, as well. It's the response the staff give to mourning, grieving friends and family members who know their loved one is on the verge of death.

But it's fine, Claudine reminds herself. Because Tendo Maya isn't here-

"Here you are, dear." The woman passes Claudine her visitor's badge. "Do you know who you're looking for?"

Claudine's throat is so dry she feels it's going to start bleeding, and her jaw aches from the crying and the running.

"Tendo…" she croaks.

She hopes to see confusion in the clerk's face, a shake of the head, a response of 'we don't have anyone here by that name'-

"Tendo-san is in room 119."

No.

It can't be her. It has to be someone else by the same name. It can't be.

Before she knows it, Claudine is already limping down the hallway. She spots a few of the children she knows, and as soon as they see her and rush up to greet her, it's all Claudine can do to plaster on a smile, pat their heads, and not burst out sobbing. She gently pries them off, telling them she has something urgent to attend to, that one of her friends is very sick…

Room 119.

The door is open, the name plate beneath the number confirms her worst fears.

Tendo Maya .

"No-"

As Claudine stumbles inside, her entire body is shaking, and her heart is halfway up her throat.

There's no one there. The bed is empty, as is the private bathroom.

But on that bed, Claudine recognizes Seishou textbooks, the script of a play they'd performed together, a familiar, untouched cell phone...

"No…" She pitches forward, barely catching herself by pressing her palms to the bed, hunching over as the tears spill free.

She's been here frequently enough to know what an empty room means. It means crying family, a bundle of sheets, and the sounds of a gurney's wheels in the night-

"Saijou…san…?"

There's a beat of dead silence. Then, the creaking of the door before it clicks shut.

Too many emotions slam into her all at once. But somehow, Claudine manages to find the strength to whirl around and face the door without falling.

It's only been two days since she'd last seen her. And yet, the raw emotion that had bloated those two days to bursting had made it seem like years.

Maya is standing there, dressed in comfortable hospital robes with a book in her hand that suggests she'd ventured out to spend some time with the younger children. The wide-eyed shock and disbelief on her face does little to mask just how pale she had become, how much muscle she'd already started to lose. The change was far too drastic for just two days.

Claudine feels so many things in that instant, she can't discern if she feels anything at all. The relief is there, but it's so suffocated by everything else painful and bad that she can't even spare a second to enjoy it.

Her heart throbs again, hard and painful, as she stares across the room at her.

Maya clearly hadn't been expecting to see her here - or ever again, for that matter. She takes a step back, as though she's about to flee.

"Saijou-san… I-"

But before Maya can even hope to move, Claudine has already reached her, throwing both arms around her and falling against her chest.

"Lie to me—!" she shrieks. "Lie to me… and tell me it isn't true…"

She's already beside herself with tears. Claudine collapses to her knees, and Maya goes with her, folding her arms around her in return.

"I'm sorry…"

Claudine breaks down, letting out the fear and the anger and the sorrow all at once. Maya cries with her, though a bit more quietly, and Claudine isn't sure if it's because she is somehow more composed, or if she simply doesn't have the physical strength for anything more.

But even though Claudine is drowning beneath this tumult of agony, her time spent here caring for others ensures that she takes note of someone else's pain before her own. She recognizes the choked sounds beginning to work their way up Maya's throat, and she knows nothing good will come of it.

Pushing away the implications of what all of this means for Maya's future, Claudine focuses on helping her now in the current moment. She smears the tears away until she can see better, then braces her arms beneath Maya's. Maya has already started to cough and shake, so badly that she can't stand on her own.

"Come on-" Claudine sniffles. "I've got you."

Maya can't even speak now as the coughs continue raking up. But somehow, Claudine manages to get her to her feet and guide her just long enough to reach the bathroom. In spite of her own legs threatening collapse, Claudine kneels down gently with Maya, holding back her hair for her as she wretches.

Claudine's vision blurs with more tears as she holds Maya steady, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her back. That familiar violet ribbon quivers beneath her fingertips.

"It's all right-" she whispers. "It's going to be all right…"

How could she not have known? She'd been coming here for months to visit, and all that time, she'd never pieced it together.

She hadn't just known Tendo Maya for four months; she'd met her long before school had started.

Maya's breath hitches as more bile spews out of her mouth. Claudine bites back a sob of her own and continues to rub her back and her sides. She conjures up an old lullaby and begins to sing it very softly. It's about a mother seal and her baby swimming through a storm until they find calmer waters and eventually fall asleep in the combers.

By the time she has finished her song, Maya has nothing left in her. She leans there, panting and exhausted, shaking and pale. Slowly, she tries to lift her head, but it's almost as though the weight of it is too much for her to bear. She briefly and guiltily catches Claudine's eye, and her voice comes out in a scratching rasp.

"Saijou-san…"

Claudine's heart jolts as though someone had reached into her chest and twisted it.

"I'm here… I-"

"Please leave…" Maya chokes. "Please go…"

Claudine snorts, genuinely offended.

"You're going to have to try a lot harder than that, Tendo Maya."

She reaches up to grab a paper towel from the dispenser and tears it off, then gets to cleaning off Maya's face.

Maya shakes her head dizzily.

"Please… I don't want you to see me like this… So sickly and pathetic… I do not want this Tendo Maya to be your final memory of me… Please… remember me as the person who claimed rank #1 on the class listings… Remember me as the classmate who pestered you every day and studied with you at night… Remember me as your Claire—"

"Shut up." Claudine tosses the paper towel into the toilet and flushes it, then pulls Maya into a firm embrace. "Just shut up, Tendo Maya. I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't pay me to. There's nothing you or anyone else could say to make me leave your side now."

"But…"

"Hush." Claudine squeezes her softly, running her hands up and down her back in soothing patterns. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to feel pathetic for. You're doing your best. You're struggling every day. You're pushing yourself to stay here just one day longer… That's nothing to be ashamed of. So don't you dare think you can chase me away because of that."

Maya jolts in her arms as hiccups start working their way up her chest again, but they aren't as powerful as before. Maya weeps into her shoulder, and Claudine continues to hold her. She sings the seal's lullaby again, then moves onto another song about a magical river.

Claudine must go through five or six other songs before Maya has finally stopped crying. She's still weak and trembling, but she is using all of her remaining strength to cling to Claudine. The message she doesn't voice is far louder than the one she had spoken earlier.

Don't go.

Eventually, after what must've been at least an hour, Claudine is able to help Maya back to her feet and guide her back to bed. She adjusts Maya's pillows for her to help her sit up, makes sure her legs are arranged comfortably, and ensures that there is a bottle of cool water on the nightstand. She uses all of the skills she'd accumulated while volunteering here to guarantee Maya is as comfortable as possible.

Only when she's certain Maya is taken care of does Claudine sit herself down on the edge of the bed beside her.

When she's ready, Maya tells her everything.

Her childhood as a prodigy, the goals she'd achieved, the aspirations she'd set for her future.

How she'd suddenly started to feel slight aches and pains for no particular reason, how her common cold had affected her and lasted longer and been more severe than it was with most other people.

How she'd collapsed, been admitted here, and later diagnosed with stage IV cancer.

How it was untreatable.

How she'd spiraled into a pit of anger and despair and hatred.

How she'd cursed the world and everyone in it for her fate.

And then… how she'd seen a beautiful girl one day.

How she'd watched her care for the children and listened to her sing.

How she'd fallen in love with her at first sight.

How she'd decided to live out the rest of her life as normally as possible by attending school with the girl she liked.

How she'd wanted to be her girlfriend.

"It's foolish," Maya admits, looking down at her lap. "I realize that now. I was only being foolish and selfish. I never intended to cause you or the others any pain… And yet, that's surely all my presence would've done. Had I never stepped foot into Seishou, none of you would have ever known me, or missed me…"

Up until this point, Claudine had listened to her story in silence, though the tears had been falling quietly all the while.

"Why…?" she rasps. "Why didn't you tell me…?" She allows just the faintest hint of anger into her tone, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She's only upset with Maya because she cares about her, and now it's too late to do anything about it.

Maya lifts her gaze sadly to meet hers.

"I apologize. I did not want to burden someone who was only a friend to me. Initially, I was planning for you to accept my proposal of dating, at which point I would have told you forthwith. But, as you so told me, the way I asked you out was childish and without reason. Of course you would say no. I was too full of myself, too desperate, and for that, I apologize. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable, or like you were simply a prize for me to win over." She sighs, looking much older and more tired than she should.

"My only regret is that I can no longer give you the proper setting for a love confession you deserve. I cannot invite you out to a warm walk in the park in the bloom of spring and ask you to be my girlfriend. I cannot take you out to lunch or dinner and ask to hold your hand on the walk back, or kiss you goodnight."

By now, Claudine’s tears have started to drip freely again, though it doesn't even seem like she notices.

"I say these things as if I have any right to harbor these feelings toward you. As if you have any reason to accept. It was all just a grand delusion of mine. I can honestly and proudly say that just being able to attend classes with you, dance with you, study with you, and see you every single day as your friend and partner was more than enough for me. The memories I've made together with you and everyone else were more wonderful than I ever could have imagined or hoped for. So thank you, Saijou Claudine. From the bottom of my heart."

Claudine hears her out until the last word before she bursts into tears all over again.

" Idiot …" she gasps. "So you just get to… move on from this place… just like that? You'll be up there in some angelic white robe playing the harp and singing… And I'll be down here with only four months' worth of memories?" Claudine lifts her arms up to hug herself, squeezing to try and keep the pieces of her heart together. "Four months… that's all I got with you… But every second of it was precious."

She drowns in her own sobs, drenching the sheets with tears.

And yet, Maya doesn't shed a single one more. She reaches out and brings Claudine into her arms, being the one to comfort her this time around.

Claudine cries for a long time. Maya holds her all the while, taking everything in; the white winter sky outside her window, the decorative floral painting on the far wall, the hum of the ventilation, the faint scent of cleaning products, the quivering softness of the girl in her arms.

While her initial intentions had been to ask Claudine to be her girlfriend, in the hopes of being able to hug her and kiss her and hold her hand… she hadn't considered anything like this. The tears, the shaking, the pain Maya would cause her in the end… Be it as Claudine's friend or something more.

She'd been selfish. Far too selfish.

"I'm sorry…" Maya sighs into Claudine's hair, closing her eyes and savoring her warmth. Even though the winter chill was kept outside the building and her room was always heated, Maya had been feeling much colder for the past few days, and had been shivering nonstop.

But with Claudine by her side now, Maya takes in her warmth, and they both shake hard enough against one another that they somehow become still.

The minutes tick by. Maya takes note of them in the beats of Claudine's heart. She doesn't know how many minutes she'll have left in this life. But getting to spend as many as she could with Claudine had made it all worthwhile. Even though she would be leaving her friends behind in sadness, Maya herself would be happy with just this much. At least she tells herself as much.

Another moment passes. Then another. Never knowing when her body will give out now, Maya feels she must say everything she needs to say.

"Saijou-san, I-"

"I accept."

"…Pardon?"

Claudine pushes herself up and bores her gaze directly into Maya's, so that there can be no discrepancies about this.

"I accept. Being your girlfriend, that is."

Maya's heart jumps a little at the unexpected statement, spoken with such conviction.

"Saijou-san… I appreciate you playing along to make me happy so that my selfish little dream could come to fruition. You truly are as kind and sweet as I always knew you to be. However, it's alright. You do not have to play along when you don't really have feelings for me."

"Who said I don't have feelings for you?" Claudine says this seriously, enough to silence Maya in her tracks.

"I… but you-"

"You really are an idiot… The only sick person I would ever call an idiot, but you deserve it, Tendo Maya." Claudine sniffles and wipes her arm across her face, but her voice is perfectly level now. "Who told you that I don't have feelings for you? Who told you that I wasn't planning on accepting your request one day? Who told you… Don't just go deciding things all by yourself. Mechante va …" Again, the tears come, hot and stinging, plopping into her lap and staining her skirt. "I was going to say yes, one of these days… On the day you'd least expect it… I just thought… I thought we would have all the time in the world to get there…"

Maya feels her heart twinge, but not in a dangerous way. She hadn't honestly expected Claudine to have developed and returned these feelings unto her. But although Claudine's eyes are wavering and wet, there is a surefire firmness behind them that proves her feelings are nothing but the honest truth she feels in her heart.

"Saijou-san…"

"My name," Claudine huffs. "You can just use my name…"

Maya swallows, and the tears start fresh.

"Claudine…"

Claudine reaches out her hands, gently cupping them on either side of Maya's face.

"That's more like it." She leans in and presses a soft kiss to Maya's forehead. It spreads a warmth throughout Maya's body like nothing she's ever known or dreamed of.

With a sound that is half-sob and half-laughter, she curls her arms around Claudine's waist and hugs her close.

Claudine wraps herself around Maya's shoulders and keeps close as they cry together.

More minutes pass, more heartbeats, more time. Maya doesn't have much time left, but whatever does remain, she knows she will live and enjoy it to the fullest now.

The two of them remain curled up together until evening, when they're finally able to find their voices again.

"I'm sorry…" Maya whispers. "I wish I could take you out on a proper first date. I wish I could watch the spring thaw together with you…"

"Hush." Claudine kisses her forehead again. "This is as memorable a first date as any, I'd say."

Maya chuckles bittersweetly and gives her another squeeze.

"I wish I could kiss you properly… but being as I was ill not too long ago, I feel I must refrain."

"That's fine." Claudine kisses the bridge of her nose. "Get some rest, clean up, and then you can kiss me tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…?" Maya blinks.

"What?" Claudine huffs. "Did you seriously think I wouldn't spend every waking moment coming to visit you every chance I got? You really are an idiot." She leans forward to wrap Maya in another hug. "I'll come see you tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that."

"But not twelve days after that ," Maya hums. "Because you've got a play to star in."

"I'll miss it if I have to," Claudine mutters. "Don't think I won't."

"How about you attend," Maya offers. "Blow the audience out of the water, and then come tell me all about it?"

"I guess that'll do."

Claudine stays close a moment longer, then slowly eases back. She wobbles as she gets off the bed and tries to stand. Maya offers her the water on the nightstand, but Claudine refuses.

"That's for you," she mumbles. "In fact, you should drink." She takes the bottle and hands it to Maya, then crosses her arms, waiting expectantly. Maya gets the feeling that if she refuses, she'll be scolded, so she takes a few good sips before putting the bottle back. Satisfied, Claudine takes a step back.

"Visiting hours are over. I have to go. But—here." Claudine takes Maya's dead cell phone from the table and wrangles the charger until she can plug it in. She then places the phone firmly into Maya's hand. "If anything happens—if you need me— text me, for God’s sake."

Maya hangs her head guiltily.

"My apologies."

" Idiot …"

A knock comes at the door, and a voice calls out that any visitors must take their leave now. Claudine turns to go, but Maya calls for her.

"Wait-"

She doesn't say anything more than that. She simply lifts her arms. Claudine fights back tears and leans down to hug her once again. She hugs her long and tight, making sure Maya will never forget that feeling.

When they do part, Claudine kisses her forehead one more time.

"Get some sleep," she orders gently. "I'll see you tomorrow. I promise." She steps back and turns away, knowing that if she lingers just one second longer, she'll never leave.

Maya watches her go, her heart filled with love and dread.

"Thank you, Claudine."

Claudine gives a tiny nod, then disappears out the door.

The empty room stares back at Maya. The flower painting looks darker now in the blanket of evening. The smells of the hospital seem duller and farther away. The whirring of the ventilation seems all too loud.

Maya's heart is pounding, but it doesn't hurt. Or perhaps, it is aching so badly that it's gone numb. She can't tell.

But what she does know for certain is that her pulse had stirred and managed to match pace with Claudine's.

Even long after Maya's heart stops beating, Claudine's would continue to do so.

Maya could gladly live - and die - with that knowledge.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7. You're Beautiful

From that day forward, Maya and Claudine are girlfriends.

Though, given the circumstances, they don't tell anyone else. Maya knows her parents and doctors would only chide her for thinking about something as foolish as high school romance in such a dire time, and Claudine knows that telling her classmates that she is dating her partner who is dying of cancer would only bring massive amounts of unwanted attention. She doesn't even tell anyone that she knows where Maya is, let alone that she is dating her.

Claudine keeps the burden of those secrets to herself when she is at school, and plays the part of the hurt, confused classmate who has no idea where Maya is or why she left them. But instead of practicing after school every day like she used to, she leaves campus to head for the hospital instead, and spends her afternoons with Maya.

She attends the hospital as a visitor, not a volunteer, so she does not have any working obligations. But, of course, she still makes certain to visit the other children and play with them and sing to them, usually if Maya is unavailable due to needing injections or routine checkups.

But whenever Maya is free to have visitors, Claudine spends her time telling Maya about whatever new dances or songs they are learning in school, what plays they are reading, what their friends are up to. She'd checked with the staff about bringing in food, and once they'd approved certain things, Claudine manages to bring Maya one of Nana's banana nut muffins one day, then a piece of kitsch another day, and then baumkuchen the next.

And for the first week or so, Maya would light up at the sight of Claudine and her treats, then graciously indulge herself in the sweets.

But then one day, Claudine notes that Maya thanks her for the muffin, but doesn't eat it. She claims she isn't hungry, at the moment, and that she'll save it for later.

But she doesn't eat the next day's treat either, or the one after that.

And Claudine had been trying to fool herself for as long as possible, but she knows the painful truth.

Soon, Maya isn't able to keep her food down.

Several times when Claudine is there, Maya becomes ill and needs to be brought into the bathroom to vomit. She starts taking painkillers and supplement pills, which become her only source of nutrition.

Within the course of only a few weeks, Claudine watches her wither.

The strong, proud, confident, beautiful Tendo Maya, who always strutted through Seishou's halls like she owned the place, who always dazzled the audience from beneath the spotlight, who had been the fastest, most poised, most graceful girl in the entire school…

Little by little, she loses all her muscle, to the point where she can't even get out of bed or stand on her own anymore. Since she could no longer keep down food, she would drink her supplements in smoothies that were intended for patients like her.

And she drank them all.

There had been a time where Maya had promised herself she wouldn't. That she saw no point in prolonging her life. That she would have rather just died sooner.

But now… now she has someone to keep fighting for. To keep living for. For as long as her body would last.

She tries.

Tendo Maya tries her damndest to stay alive just one more day, so she may see her girlfriend's beautiful face one last time…

At the very least, she'd been able to kiss her and hug her, and fall asleep on her shoulder.

And once she'd grown too tired to try and reach up to hug Claudine, Claudine always leaned down to hug her instead.

Claudine will be starring in Seishou's next big play by the end of the week. Maya wants to hear all about it…

But soon, the painkillers stop working. The supplement drinks stop staying down. The injections stop numbing the pain.

That evening, Maya squirms and struggles through the night, feeling every ache in each of her bones, every pang of each beat of her heart, every organ and muscle as they flounder to keep functioning.

She doesn't sleep that night. At first, it's because she simply can't due to the pain.

But then, it's because she doesn't let herself. Because she fears if she falls asleep again, she won't wake up this time.

All throughout the next day, she lays in her bed, feeling every twinge of pain, counting every second as it comes and goes and leaves her behind.

Outside her window, a light flurry has begun to fall. She hopes it turns into harder snow, enough to prevent travel. She hopes Claudine doesn't come today…

The minutes drag. Each one more painful and more miserable than the last.

Maya can feel herself dying. Even the doctors have stopped coming in to give her the injections or trying to make her drink her pills.

Everyone knew.

The snow continues falling all day long, and even though the heat in her room is working perfectly fine, Maya shivers.

She can't get warm. Everything hurts.

She makes sure to think of Claudine. To remember the brief, but beautiful time they had spent together.

I'm sorry…

She can feel the stinging sensation that used to mean tears, but her body is too weak and dehydrated to produce them anymore. Maya is reduced to feeble dry sobs, alone in her cold hospital room.

There'd been a time when she'd hoped Claudine and all the others would simply forget her. When Maya wanted to be a beautiful memory to them all that they would soon forget in time.

But now, as she lies on her death bed, she changes her mind.

Please don't forget me…

She doesn't want to die. She wants to live .

She wants to become a second-year together with her friends.

She wants to continue performing with them.

She wants to know the secrets of that giraffe's mysterious stage.

She wants to have more nights staying up watching movies and eating snacks and falling asleep on the floor.

She wants to graduate with them, see where their lives take them, what paths they would all choose.

She wants to do so many more things than she ever knew she cared to do.

But she realizes it too late, when she can do nothing but lie there and imagine what could have been.

Maya feels sleep coming at long last…

But then, she hears the creak of the door opening, and the shuffle of boots stepping in. It takes her great effort to lift her eyelids again, but she's glad she does, because an angel is standing there before her. A bundled-up, messy-haired, snow-covered angel.

"Ahhh!" Claudine sighs. "I made it! The roads are closed down and the buses aren't running, but I still am!" She shakes herself off to make sure she doesn't trail any snow over to Maya's bed, then removes her coat and hangs it on the back of the door. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had some things to prepare."

She has a bag in her hands, and when she approaches, she presents Maya with a small cat plushie. "Here. She can keep you company while I'm performing on Friday. I'll be here afterward to tell you all about it, though." Claudine leans down to leave a gentle kiss on Maya's forehead. Maya has become so frail over the last few days that she doesn't like the idea of kissing her lips and putting any kind of strain on her breathing.

Maya - who had been on the verge of accepting sleep - perks up at the feeling of her girlfriend's soft lips on her skin. Her fingers twitch around the plushie Claudine had placed in her hands, and Maya registers the feeling of the downy faux fur. She blinks, looking up at Claudine with all the affection in the world.

"So it isn't a dream…"

Claudine takes the bedside chair and sits down, tossing her snow-damp hair back over her shoulder.

"Maybe there was a time when all you could hope to do was dream of me kissing you. But no, it's still real."

Maya gives a weak, but genuine chuckle.

"Thank goodness."

Claudine smiles, reaching out to rest her hands over Maya's as she begins telling her about her day.

Claudine speaks and goes about things as she always does. As if she doesn't know that Maya's health has already taken a turn for the worse.

She knows that. She knows Maya is in bad shape, and that she won't ever get better from here.

She knows she doesn't have much time left.

She knows Maya is dying.

But she pretends she doesn't know that - for Maya's sake, at least for now.

Claudine had tried to fool herself already, but as soon as she was alone in her bed at night, she smothered her screaming sobs into her pillow. She cursed the gods, and then prayed to them, begging to have Maya for just one more day, just one more day…

Any day now, any night, would be Maya's last.

Claudine just can't stand the thought of not being there, that Maya might pass on when Claudine was in class or in her performance.

When class rankings had been released last week, she had found no pleasure in seeing her name at the #1 spot when Maya's was nowhere to be found. Seishou had already moved on and forgotten about her. Would Maya's parents even disclose news about her funeral? Would any of Claudine's classmates know, or be able to come? Would anyone know to mourn her or miss her…?

The thoughts plague Claudine as she babbles on about some silly comment Karen had made in class today. She doesn't realize she'd started to cry until she hears a rasp of a voice.

"Claudine…"

She looks up past the blur of tears, and finds the most painful sadness in Maya's eyes. Claudine sniffles and quickly wipes off her face. She can't be showing this side of herself to her right now, because she knows nothing makes Maya more upset than seeing Claudine cry.

"Sorry-" Claudine chokes. "I'm-"

"Beautiful," Maya finishes for her. "You're beautiful, Claudine."

" Mechante va… " Claudine folds herself forward and gently wraps her arms around Maya. Maya no longer has the strength to return the embrace, so she simply lies there, relishing Claudine's warmth, her scent, her presence.

For the remainder of visiting hours, they stay like that. Quiet. Close. Lost in thoughts of how unfair it all is, while just feeling each other's warmth.

It goes too quickly, and then it's suddenly time for Claudine to leave. She eases herself away, but not without leaving several more kisses on Maya's face.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Maya's chest aches terribly, but holding the little cat against herself gives the illusion that it lessens the agony a little.

"Claudine… I don't think-"

"I'll see you tomorrow," Claudine says more firmly. "That's a promise."

Maya holds her gaze, reading all of the unspoken things in her eyes. In the end, Maya just can't win against her.

"Very well. I promise."

Claudine exhales, willing herself to believe in that vow.

Maya watches her turn and exit the room, where a trail of wet droplets follows behind her.

It was probably just the snow.

A faint white light seeps into Maya's vision.

It's a dull sort of glow, a dusty illumination.

She can't tell if she's opened her eyes or not.

Just for a brief second, she feels no more pain.

She can't move, but some part of her still feels like she can follow that path of the light.

She wills herself to go.

But if it truly is heaven, Claudine would've been there by now. She would be there with arms open wide, bright eyes, and a warm smile.

No. Maya can't go yet. Any place without Claudine isn't paradise for her.

With the remaining strength of her consciousness, Maya pulls herself away and rejects the light.

But still it surrounds her. Beckoning. Coaxing.

It isn't cruel. It doesn't force her.

But she hasn't chosen it just yet. She still chooses the suffering of life. She still chooses Claudine.

When she's fully aware of herself again, Maya can feel the weight of her eyelids as she lifts them. A dim glow of light wafts up from the white floor, walls, and ceiling of her hospital room.

She isn't facing the window, but over the past several weeks of being confined here, she'd learned to read the ways of how the sunlight came through her window behind her. She can tell without looking there directly that the world outside is blanketed in snow, and that the sky is thick with whiteness.

As soon as she remembers she is awake, her body begins to shiver. That's about all she can manage at this point, confined to her death bed. She can't so much as twitch her fingers or turn her head. It takes great effort just to breathe.

As she shudders, little jolts and twinges of pain shoot through every muscle, every vein, every bone. She isn't certain how long she lays there for. It could have been a few minutes that simply dragged like hours. Or it could have been the entire morning.

Either way, she lapses in and out of consciousness while her mind plays tidbits of memories of the life she'd never be able to finish living.

She's hardly even aware of it at all when the nurses come in and start murmuring various things. At first Maya doesn't pay them any mind. She knows nothing they say or do will save her, only make the pain last longer. Maya doesn't want that. While she may not be ready to die, the ache of living just a second longer has become so agonizing that she would accept death when it comes without a fight. Not willingly, but out of necessity.

But when Maya feels hands all around her, she is brought back into herself at the current moment.

The nurses and doctors work together to lift her up out of bed, and instead sit her in a wheelchair.

It's painfully discombobulating to be set upright. Maya's entire view changes, which causes her head to pound. She tries to ask them what's going on, but only partial mumbles and fragments of words come out. She is turned away from her bed and the little cat Claudine had given to her.

As they wheel her out of her room, she gathers they are taking her to an emergency room for more injections. She wants to tell them no. She wants to beg them not to bother, not to prolong it any further. The nurses speak kindly to her and offer whatever comforts they can provide.

But all Maya hears is a droning in her skull, and all she feels are more and more aching shivers.

She is only vaguely aware of what happens from there.

She can hear all the usual mutterings of the staff and beeping of the machines.

She can smell the stench of medicine and buzzing electricity.

She can feel the pricks of pain as more shots go into her veins.

It feels as though she's subjected to this for days on end. She can't find the strength or voice to ask them to stop, to just let her go.

After what surely must have been hours, she's loaded back into her wheelchair and pushed back down the hallway toward her room. Her vision is still bleary, but she can see several people gathered there outside her door.

She recognizes her parents immediately. But to her delight and dismay, she also recognizes the third person as well.

Claudine is dressed in casual clothes, with no winter coat or scarf to be seen, suggesting she hadn't only arrived here just now. When Maya is pushed near enough, her three guests turn to her, but Maya only has eyes for one of them.

" Bonjour , Maya." Claudine speaks, and her voice is so clear and sweet in the jumble of noise that has been plaguing Maya's mind until now. She tries to smile, though she can't be sure if it works.

"Claudine…"

Relief. Sorrow. Sadness. That's all her voice is made of when the breath comes out of her mouth, but she's proud that she'd managed to give Claudine's name sound one more time.

Claudine goes to her, dropping gently to her knees in front of Maya while taking her hands. It's the only true warmth Maya's ever known. Even now, when all she can feel is cold, she knows Claudine's warmth is blessing her, even if Maya can't feel it anymore.

For a moment, the two girls lock eyes, and the rest of the world falls away. Maya has so much more she still wants to say to her. She could tell Claudine things for years and years to come, never stop speaking to her for decades on end, and it still wouldn't suffice.

But Maya knows she'll never be able to do that. Her body had stopped being able to produce tears days ago, but she can still feel the sting of them rise up behind her eyes.

Claudine is so beautiful. Though her eyes are shining with the same pure and gentle affections, there is an awful, debilitating torment behind them. She's doing her best for Maya's sake not to let that show, not to let the tremor leak into her voice, not to let the tears come. Maya knows Claudine is putting in painstaking efforts not to break down in front of her.

After a moment that is theirs alone, Claudine lays Maya's hands back in her lap and gets up again to address the doctors.

"Thank you," she says. "That was just enough time you kept her for. We're all finished in here."

Behind her, Maya's mother and father nod in confirmation.

And after so many days of feeling nothing but agony, Maya is washed through with something new for a change, something she'd almost forgotten she could feel. Confusion, curiosity.

Claudine comes close to her now, and the nurse who had been pushing the wheelchair leaves Maya in Claudine's hands. Maya catches the faintest hint of her scent from above herself now as Claudine's sweet voice rains down on her.

"Your parents agreed to help me out with this. And the doctors agreed to keep you out of the room for a little while."

After Maya has come so close to dancing with death these past few days and nights, she hadn't considered the fact that she was still able to feel anything other than feeble acceptance of her fate at this point.

But the sight of Claudine here unexpectedly had proven her wrong, as does the tiny trill of excitement bred by whatever it is she had planned for Maya. She'd long-since forgotten what it felt like to be excited, but Claudine manages to give her that as well.

Maya's mother opens the door, and Claudine slowly wheels Maya in.

Spring. It's the only way Maya can describe it.

Everywhere she looks, flowers of all types, shapes, and sizes are bursting and blossoming. Larger pots overflowing with massive green leaves decorate the corners of the room, vases sporting blossoms of every color are littered across the tables and sturdier surfaces, smaller pots of tiny buds dapple the spaces in between.

A sweetly wild aroma wreathes through the air, igniting a sense of nostalgia within Maya that she can't quite explain.

Everywhere, there are flowers.

Claudine brings her slowly through the miniature wonderland as Maya marvels at each and every petal. She can actually feel the heat in her room, as though it were the rays of the sun beaming down on her. Maya savors the moment, feeling the bittersweet pain in her heart as it swells with joy. From above her, her angel speaks.

"You always said you'd never see spring again. So I wanted to bring it to you."

Maya weeps. She has no tears to shed, but she weeps with her whole body.

Thank you…

The words never manage to form or reach her lips, but she trusts Claudine receives them.

From there, the doctors help Maya back into her bed to lie down. Her parents sit on one side of the bed, while Claudine sits at the other, holding Maya's hand and placing the plushie beside her.

From there, the doctors give an offer.

The injections they had given Maya just before all of this have already worn off. Maya's body was simply too ill to benefit from the effects of medicine anymore. She was too weak, and in too much pain.

So when they give her the option to end that pain now, Maya accepts.

It will be a single injection, and she'll simply fall asleep.

Maya's parents tearfully give their consent as well, being it's what their daughter has chosen.

And even though Claudine had known all along that Maya would agree to it, it still shatters her heart into pieces when she lives that moment for herself.

When Maya nods her head, Claudine's heart breaks, and it's as though she can feel every piece of the shards falling deep into her stomach.

Because she sees Maya's eyes in that moment. And what she sees past the pain is a surefire conviction and acceptance. Rather than risk wasting away all alone in the night, Maya chooses for her end to be now, surrounded by color and the people who love her.

Claudine had known she was going to choose this. But it doesn't make it any less devastating.

She tries her best not to cry as the doctors prepare the IV on Maya's arm. But with the look Maya is giving her, Claudine has no hope of holding back any longer.

The tears start dribbling, hot and weighted, burning streaks down her face. They plop onto Maya's thin, pale hand, which Claudine cradles with all the care in the world.

Don't go .

That's what she wants to say. More than anything, Claudine wants her to stay. Even if Maya was ready for this, Claudine wasn't. But Maya is ready now, truly and honestly ready, and Claudine saying such a thing would only conflict with her wishes. So Claudine just bows her head and weeps silently.

Maya's parents whisper their final words to her. They tell her how proud they are of her, how hard she worked, how brilliantly she shined on the stage she'd gotten to grace with her presence. Maya offers the smallest murmur of breath as a response. There aren't any words to it, but it's enough to let them know she loves them.

And then it's time.

Claudine raises her tearstained face, fighting back the sobs to no avail.

"Maya-" she chokes, hunching forward to press a small, trembling kiss to the back of her hand. "Maya-"

Whatever she'd been about to say. Whatever her broken heart had been about to let her confess, Claudine never gets there.

Because Maya smiles. The weakest, most genuine, most human smile ever.

For that split second, the pain is nowhere to be found. There is sadness, and there is regret.

But not pain.

And so too is there a heartfelt joy and a genuine happiness.

All this time, Maya had been storing up her strength to put it into her voice one final time.

"You're beautiful… Ma Claudine… "

The injection goes in, and Maya's eyes fall shut. Her hand, which had already been quite still in Claudine's hands, now slumps in a terrible, unmistakable limpness, void of any life at all.

Of all the anguish in that room, Claudine weeps hardest of all.

The scent of flowers had never been so sickening, and the chill of winter had never been so bitterly cold.

The sounds of weeping can be heard echoing all throughout the hallways that evening.

And then, the wheels of a gurney, and a quiet bundle of sheets is carried off into the night.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8. I'll See You Again

Claudine doesn't even know how or when she'd left that hospital.

Everything after Maya had passed had been a blur.

Hours later, Maya's parents had tearfully offered her a ride back to school, but Claudine had been too inconsolable to even respond.

Maya's parents had known about their daughter's condition for close to a year now. They had come to terms with it and accepted it as best they could.

But Claudine had only gotten a fraction of that time to know Maya, and she'd only known of her illness for an even smaller amount of time.

She still can't accept this. She never will. She doesn't know what to do with herself, but she knows she has to do something . Sitting crumpled in tears in the hospital lobby isn't doing anyone any sort of good.

So at some point, when she's able to get up again, she stumbles out into the snow-covered night. She doesn't care that it's below freezing, or that she hasn't eaten in nearly an entire day, nor slept for the past two nights. She doesn't feel any of the exhaustion or the hunger or the cold. In fact, she feels like she can't sit still, like something is pushing her, driving her, like there's something in particular she has to do, somewhere she has to go…

Her mind runs rampant with thoughts of Maya, with curses and disdain for the world that had taken her away.

And then with the contrasting sweet, fun, spritely memories of her alive and well.

Claudine won't see her anymore.

She won't be able to visit her again.

She won't be able to tell her about the performance Claudine will be starring in tomorrow night.

She won't be able to hold her hand, or hug her, or kiss her anymore.

She won't be able to tease her or be teased by her anymore.

She won't be able to laugh with her anymore.

She won't be able to act or study or fall asleep with her.

She won't be able to graduate with her, set out into the world with her, or start a life together with her.

Knowing that she'll never forget Maya isn't enough. Simply clinging onto memories of this freshman year of high school wouldn't suffice. Even if she came to accept it all some day, Claudine would never stop missing or loving Maya.

She would never be able to fill that void in her heart - not with a love for theater or a love for another person.

In time, Maya would be a memory.

Claudine doesn't want that. She wants her .

She wants Tendo Maya. Alive and well.

And in the case of every other human being on earth, they would simply have to accept the cruel and unfair hand fate had dealt them and their loved ones.

But not Saijou Claudine.

She still has something left. A sliver of a chance. A dim ray of hope…

She runs. All through town in the frigid night snow, she runs. After hours of sitting and shaking, her weak and wobbling legs push on in an almost furious sprint of fury and denial. After days and nights of sobbing and wailing, her lungs burn with every gulp of cold air, forcing her onward.

She refuses to lie down and be silent about this. She refuses to let Maya go. Not when she knows there's someone who may be able to change it.

Claudine runs for what must be hours, though she knows it doesn't take that long to get back to Seishou Academy. The world both rushes by her in a blur, and slows down like some old black-and-white movie.

By the time she reaches the building doors, she can't feel any piece of herself other than the ache in her chest. Her lungs heave and burn, and her heart twists and slams. She thrusts open the doors and pelts down the hallway, all but jumping down the flight of stairs that takes her to the lowest level.

She's been here before. Enough times to know to seek out the red light of the elevator.

The strange auditions had brought Claudine and her friends, including Maya, down to the underground stage many times in the past few months, pitting them against one another to fight for the Top Star Tiara. Claudine, Maya, and Nana had been at the top of the standings most recently. But now, with Maya gone, Claudine will never be able to fight her again and beat her properly…

It's just wrong.

Claudine barrels to a stop outside the elevator door, panting and crying.

Normally, they must be summoned here by a certain ringtone. The stage must call for them.

None of those things had happened tonight. Claudine knows she shouldn't be permitted entry to the giraffe's stage.

And yet-

"Let. Me. In."

It isn't a request.

Whatever forces are at play here must know that Claudine isn't asking, that if they don't permit her entry, she'll find some other way to get down there herself.

The red light flickers on, and the metal doors scrape apart. Claudine staggers on and begins the descent.

There, in those moments of the clattering cage around her, she tries to configure her thoughts and feelings. But it all just feels like static, a blur. There's so much all at once that it feels like nothing. She feels both empty and filled to bursting at the same time. The heat in the core of her stomach is pulsing and painful, striking through her veins and sending electricity through every part of her. Rage. Fury. Love.

The second the doors pull apart, Claudine is pushing them out of the way. She steps into the theater and shatters the eerie silence.

"Giraffe!"

Claudine begins marching from the aisle between of the audience seats toward the darkened stage, eyes fixed on the shadows with such a threatening aura. She almost dares him to take the risk of not showing himself so he can see what would happen.

But in just a few seconds, a spotlight flicks on at the center of the stage.

The giraffe looks… different this time. He's still the same giraffe, still the same outlandishly unfitting creature for such an environment. But he is not holding himself quite the same way. Rather than standing tall with his neck towering as high as it could go, he is sitting tonight, with his legs folded neatly beneath himself and his head partially lowered. There is grief about him.

Claudine storms her way up to him onstage, and by the time she stops in front of him there are already more tears streaming down her face. She looks up at him, angry and helpless, and chokes.

"She's gone-"

None of them had ever known the giraffe to be anything but haughty and sophisticated. But now, Claudine sees regret in his black eyes and hears defeat in his voice.

"I understand."

Claudine knows he hadn't had any prior knowledge of Maya's condition. She knows he hadn't been keeping it from her. She can just assume he'd been able to sense her energy, her presence, her prowess, as he could sense the presence of every Stage Girl. He simply must have felt Maya's light go out.

"A true tragedy," he murmurs. "The life of Tendo Maya was like a play all its own. Crafted and written by some all-powerful writer whose mind could be swayed by nothing. I understand."

"No-" Claudine snaps. "You don't. This isn't over. It can't be…"

In all the time she and her friends had gotten to know him, the giraffe had been many things with them. He had been irksome, cryptic, and perhaps even a little scary at times. But the one thing that had never changed about him was that he was always genuinely and brutally honest.

And now is no different. He cranes his neck and lowers his head to meet her eyes, and Claudine sees the same unwavering honesty in them now.

"I am afraid this is how things have turned out to be. This is the story that was written for Tendo Maya, and for those around her. I understand."

"Stop-" Claudine barks. "Stop saying that! You don't understand! You don't understand who she was off the stage! You don't understand her value beyond her skills as an actress! You don't understand the kind of girl the world lost tonight-!"

Claudine sways from the sheer crash of emotions. She would've fallen, but the giraffe dips his head forward enough for her to grab onto him.

Claudine sobs for a long moment, during which the giraffe remains still, holding her up as her tears plummet down to seep into the stage below. All around them, even the whirring ventilation of the theater seems to moan out in mourning.

Eventually, she's able to stand on her own again, and she lets her hands fall away from his face. But the giraffe remains at her level, his eyes deep and understanding. Claudine huffs out a breath. The fire in her stomach continues to boil.

"We can't let this happen."

"I am afraid it already has." The giraffe blinks slowly. "It truly is a shame."

"Stop that," Claudine growls. "Don't accept it so easily. You should know better than anyone that we can't let things end like this. We can't let the world go on without knowing Tendo Maya's shine."

The giraffe blinks again.

"'We'? I do not understand."

Claudine huffs again.

"Aren't you the one who was making us all fight one another down here? For the Top Star Tiara, remember? And what will that give the winner…?"

As she speaks its name, the curtains overhead ruffle and move apart to reveal a pedestal, at the top of which sits a red velvet cushion. In the center is a silver tiara, its ruby diamonds glistening blood-red in the spotlight. The giraffe flicks an ear, and his expression changes somehow.

"I understand."

Claudine fixes her eyes on the tiara.

"Then give it to me. Give me the wish."

Here, the giraffe moves and gets to his feet, straightening his long legs and bracing his hooves against the wooden stage. He shakes out his tail and his coat, then plants himself firmly between Claudine and the crown.

"Though the powers of this stage are vast, they are not omnipotent. Even the wish cast upon the Top Star Tiara cannot accomplish a feat as hefty as bringing back the dead."

Claudine feels her heart slam to a stop, and suddenly the fire that had been spreading through her body all this time runs cold.

This had been the one thing she hadn't wanted to hear from him. That her final ray of hope really was impossible to fulfill. This extremely special privilege that had been granted to Claudine and her friends alone - a privilege they had been unfairly blessed with that the rest of the world would never be so lucky to have, a privilege that should have been able to do the impossible… And she can't even have that.

"However…"

The giraffe utters this, and Claudine lifts her face again, blinking up at him past the heat of the tears.

"Which is it, then-?!" she cries. "Can this bring her back or not-?!"

"The wish cannot bring back the dead," he reiterates. "However. I see no reason as to why it could not rewind time back to a point where she was still alive."

A stabbing pain shoots through Claudine's chest in that instant, just at the thought of the possibility of having Maya back.

"But that's not good enough-" she rasps. "There's no point if we rewind to a time when she's still here if she's just going to die again anyway. I'll just be making her suffer all over again. I can't cure her disease… The most I'd be able to do is love her sooner... But that will never be enough to save her…"

She staggers back, away from the Tiara, away from it all.

She'd thought there was one last chance, one last privileged, special exception. No one else who had lost their loved ones was able to wish them back. Why should she?

She steps back again - an admission of defeat.

But as she retreats, the giraffe steps forward.

"I believe that is where you are mistaken, Stage Girl Saijou Claudine-san."

Claudine sniffles, unable to wipe the tears away fast enough as she tries to meet his gaze again.

"Eh…?"

Once again, the giraffe cranes his neck to be at her level.

"You claim your feelings for Tendo Maya-san are not enough to spare her life. And yet, aren't those the very emotions that brought you here? To a stage where you could fight for a shadow of a chance? I understand."

The giraffe straightens himself up, lifting his neck and raising his head as high as it can possibly go. From her perspective, he looks to be towering as high as the pedestal behind him.

"Saijou Claudine-san. Do you dare to act on your emotions? To take the chance that your feelings are enough to grant a miracle? Do you dare to make a wish to accomplish the impossible?"

Claudine understands it all now. She can't bring Maya back, but she can rewind time to a moment when Maya was still alive. And maybe, by some chance, it will be in a world where Maya isn't sick.

Had Claudine loved her any less, she wouldn't have had the drive to come here and try to have this wish granted. The stage and the giraffe wouldn't have accepted her if she had come to them with any less conviction, emotion, and intent than she had tonight.

All her rage. All her sorrow. All her affections… They'd been strong enough to give her this chance.

She should take it. Without a second thought.

However-

"What if… it's not right…?" Her voice is suddenly small and timid.

The giraffe flicks an ear.

"I don't understand."

Claudine exhales, and when she tries to swallow, it's thick and choked.

"What if… this isn't right? What if I should just let Maya rest? Something like this… like trying to cheat fate… it isn't fair to everyone else who had ever lost a loved one, right? Why should I be so special…"

She'd been so wrought with emotion and pain that she'd been desperate to find any way out of it, enough to try and utilize the special circumstances granted to her by this stage. But now that she stops to think of the humanity of it all, she can't help but feel a terrible guilt. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right…

"Is that truly what you believe…?" The giraffe's voice softens as well. "I cannot force you to fight this battle or claim the Tiara and its wish if you do not desire it, Saijou Claudine-san. But knowing what you know of Tendo Maya-san… do you truly believe she wanted to rest at such a ripe age? Was she entirely accepting of her death? Was she happy to relinquish the life she never got to live?" He lashes his tail. "Personally, I do not believe that is the case. Her light was bright and powerful. It was not ready to be snuffed out so soon. Do you think her spirit would rue you if you were to give her a fairer chance at life? Or do you believe she might be grateful? That she is deserving of a better try?"

"But everyone else who's ever died like this was deserving, too!" Claudine cries. "Would… Would all the people who'd ever lost someone like this ever forgive me if I was the one who got to bring my person back…?" A fresh wave of tears rush up and spill over down the sides of her face. Claudine is so beside herself with the thought of such guilt that she can barely stand.

But once again, the giraffe comes down to her, lowering his head for her to lean against. His voice remains soft in a rare display of empathy.

"From what I have witnessed, there is enough tragedy in this world. Those who have lost loved ones in such a manner… I do not think they would spite you. Rather, I believe they would be even the slightest bit happy that someone could get the chance to have their loved one back. Do you understand?"

Claudine cries for a long while as she simply tries to decide what it is she truly wants, what Maya would want, and what is right. What her body can handle is entirely different from what her mind can handle, and that is entirely different from what her heart can handle.

But she can see the truth in his words. Maybe the rest of the world that had seen so many tragedies, could accept a happy ending for just one person, and find some comfort there. Maybe they could understand and forgive her selfishness for using this privileged wish that none of them had been offered.

So long as Claudine can accept and live with that…

She knows Maya hadn't wanted to die.

She knows she had wanted to live a long and fulfilling life and accomplish all of the goals she'd always dreamed of achieving.

She knows Maya had wanted to do so many things - and more.

And she knows she'd wanted to do them all with Claudine by her side.

Once Claudine has recognized all of these things - once she has chosen to believe that the rest of the world would forgive her for erasing her tragedy - she makes her choice.

"Yes!" Her voice, which had been so small and cracked and broken with guilt and remorse, now bellows out across the stage. "I understand! I understand the risk that this might not work the way I hope it will. I understand that the world might never forgive me. I understand that I might have to live with whatever results this brings upon me, no matter how wonderful or terrible..."

The giraffe lifts his head high again, and almost seems to smile.

"And knowing all of this, Stage Girl Saijou Claudine-san, do you still wish to fight for the Top Star Tiara?"

" Oui. I'll fight every Stage Girl in the world if I have to - even my own friends."

"Are you certain you wish to fight, even as you are now? You've not slept, not eaten, not found a moment's peace for weeks."

"That's fine." Claudine doesn't waver anymore. "My love for Tendo Maya exceeds any mental or physical fatigue. I'll fight. And I'll win. Watch me. Seat 11 of the 99th Cohort - Saijou Claudine!"

All at once, the spotlights all blaze to life. The next thing Claudine knows, there is a sword at her hip, and a black smog is billowing out across the stage.

"I understand." The giraffe steps back to stand beside the pedestal and observe. "Though, given these special circumstances, you shall not be fighting your fellow Stage Girls tonight. For this, you shall be fighting the faceless, negative emotions of theatre and the stage itself. Saijou Claudine-san - this shall be your final revue. Should you succeed, the Top Star Tiara and its wish shall be yours."

All around her, armored monsters begin to appear.

But Claudine isn't scared of them. She doesn't feel the weakness of her hunger or the dizziness of her fatigue or the pain of her loss.

No. Only fire.

The fire Maya had ignited inside her.

The fire of her passion for the stage, which Maya had fed day in and day out.

The fire of rage and despair from losing her.

The fire of loving her - as a classmate, a friend, and something more.

Claudine charges forward and fights.

She fights like hell itself, and with every enemy she fells, her heart and mind alike are on Maya.

Maya.

Tendo Maya.

Her Maya…

She fights for her.

For Maya. For herself.

And for the life they never got to have together.

With these things fueling her, Claudine doesn't so much as lose her breath against the sea of enemies.

Every leap, every dodge, every slash, every victory is flawless. Even though she knows she should be exhausted, she moves as though someone were guiding her, giving her the strength and grace and conviction to go on. Pushing her ever higher. Leading her toward that wish…

No. Now it was time for Claudine to take the lead.

She fights, and the giraffe watches. The blinding hot white of the spotlights seem to shine down fuller than ever before. Combined with the red glow of the Tiara, the color that forms and reaches down to bathe the stage below is a brilliant orange.

Claudine fights relentlessly and slays her enemies. All the while, she keeps her eyes on that pedestal, on that wish.

Wait for me, Tendo Maya. I'll see you again.

And somehow, someway, a sweet scent suddenly fills the theater.

It's the smell of flowers.

Chapter Text

Epilogue. Spring

Dreams. Goals. Aspirations. Ambitions.

All things any young girl would have.

For high-school freshman Saijou Claudine, hers are a bit different from anyone else's. After all, she'd lived once before, in a much crueler life.

But not this time.

It had taken her a bit longer this time around to make the arrangements to get to Japan to attend Seishou Music Academy. As it turns out, just because she'd lived her life once before, that didn't mean it would happen exactly the same the second time around.

But being that she and she alone had retained her memories, Claudine had been able to work around the minor setbacks that had delayed her move to Japan.

She was starting the semester a bit later this time around - in the spring to be exact. Day one of classes had gone wonderfully, and she'd already met several people whom she knew would become precious friends.

But the moment the bell rings, Claudine sets out on this beautiful cherry-blossomed afternoon. But not for Starlight Hall and the dorm room she still hasn't finished moving into. Rather, she sets out for Seigfeld Institution.

Because there's someone she's been waiting for what feels like a very long time to see.

In all rights, Claudine has technically never met her yet. But she knows exactly how infuriating, arrogant, talented, adorable, hilarious, and affectionate she is.

The infamous, beautiful, purebred, and undeniably healthy Frau Platin, head of the elite Edels and top student at Seigfeld.

Though Claudine has only been at Seishou for one day, she is still top star there - or at least, she will be soon enough.

Claudine hurries across the street, mingling in with all of the other girls coming from Seigfeld, hers being the only uniform that differs.

Being the Frau Platin, of course she had stayed there later in the afternoon for meetings and practices with her classmates and whatnot. When Claudine arrives at the bottom of the steps, she is just descending, with her perfect skin, flawless figure, and her long brown hair adorned with a violet ribbon…

"Tendo Maya!"

Claudine blurts out her name for the first time - a name she's said many times before.

The head of Seigfeld pauses and opens her eyes, and though she has never met Claudine before, there is something there. Something familiar and unsurprised. Claudine smirks up at her.

"Tendo Maya, my name is Saijou Claudine. I know this is the first time we've spoken, so this might come off as a bit sudden, but please go out with me. Seeing as how we're both Top Stars at our respective schools, I believe we would make a wonderful couple."

After all, someone had once asked her out in exactly the same brazen way, while having seemingly only just met her, though she had secretly known her all along.

All around them, the other girls stop and gasp and squeal.

Claudine's heart dances in her chest, which she puffs out proudly and unabashedly, her smile bright and her eyes even more lovely than the blossoms fluttering down all around them.

Maya meets her gaze, puzzled, yet immediately interested.

There's a flash of something there briefly across her eyes.

Something that Claudine is confident she will spark in Maya's soul again later once they have started dating properly.

Something she knows she'll see in Maya again for many decades to come once they've fallen in love and leapt into their lives together.

Something she knows they will define side by side after Claudine has told her the truth of it all.

But for now, Maya simply tilts her head in adorable confusion as a single pink petal drifts by between them.

"Pardon…?"