Chapter Text
Asahi : Suga, you’ll come to the reunion, right?
Suga : I want to, but I don’t know if I can make it. I have meetings with the school until night.
Asahi : Please… I don’t know anyone other than you!
Asahi : and Daichi.
Daichi. A name so familiar in his everyday life now sounds foreign in his mouth. They used to be an inseparable duo in high school but maintaining their friendship is hard with their distance.
Daichi has gone to study in Tokyo as they have a better business major than Miyagi. Daichi had been asking him to enroll at the same university in Tokyo, with his academic ability Suga could easily pass the entrance test but he wasn’t ready to leave his family behind so he choose the nearest university that has a good reputation in math and stays closer to his family.
The first day of university was hard for Suga. Almost all of his classmates have found their circle mainly because there were a lot of them who went to the same high school. Usually, Suga would end up texting Daichi about his bad days and saying how he missed him, Asahi, and Kiyoko. Sometimes Daichi would call or video call him whenever he had more free time and it became their new habit.
There were times when they would video call twice every week. After some time, it was reduced to once a week. Their schedule didn’t match up, though it’s almost Suga who would cancel their schedule last minute. Suga had two part-time jobs and he also helped with several committee activities. Daichi did remind him not to exert himself. He tried to convince Suga to quit one of his part-time jobs because on some days he looked so dead tired when they did their video call routine. Once, Daichi was in the middle of telling him a story but when he looked into the camera Suga had been asleep. Besides, it wasn’t Suga in need of money. He was granted a full scholarship from his university until his final year as long as his grade didn’t drop down. He took two jobs only because Suga didn’t have the heart to refuse his senpai who asked for help at his family restaurant.
Then, once a week became once a month. Once a month turned to none and suddenly it was graduation day and he wasn’t in contact with Daichi anymore. Suga knew it was because of him. He was usually the one to call the schedule off with Daichi because of his busy schedule and maybe, just maybe, his unbearable feelings toward Daichi.
At first, Suga didn’t understand it. When Daichi calls or texts he’d feel extra happy that day and somehow feel more energetic. Then, one day they fought because Suga was being stubborn and they’d stop contacting each other. That time was the worst for Suga. He couldn’t focus on his studies and part-time jobs. He felt miserable. Then, one day Daichi told him someone asked him out he suddenly felt empty. He didn’t know how he should react to that.
“Good for you. Now you wouldn’t be stuck with me here.” was all Suga could respond. If Daichi looked at him with slight disappointment through the camera Suga didn’t notice.
Two weeks after that Daichi told him he turned down the confession. Suga should feel sad, shouldn’t he? He should feel bad for her instead he felt relieved. That was when he realized his feelings for Daichi, but best friends are not supposed to have these kinds of feelings, no? It could ruin their friendship. Moreover, Daichi is a man, and so is Suga.
Sure, there are a lot of countries that have accepted and even legalized relationships despite their gender but in a conservative country like Japan? Probably not. And what about his parents? How would his parents react if they knew Suga is a little bit different? So Suga tried to ignore his feelings.
Maybe it’s just a phase just like everyone says.
Suga remembers there is also a saying that someone could fall in love out of habit. Maybe his feelings came from how they are used to each other so it felt natural to be together, maybe Suga mistook his feelings as ‘love’.
He should limit his interaction with Daichi, right? There’s no way he likes Daichi, his best friend, right?
Not to forget, Daichi also mentioned several times that he wanted to have his own family and a big house where he could keep a dog and a yard for the whole family to have quality time. Daichi used to have a big family so to want one is understandable for Daichi. Suga couldn’t even give him one so how could he give a big one?
He shouldn’t have these feelings. He should just keep this for himself. He should forget Daichi and maybe, drifting apart like this was the best.
Suga : Okay, okay, I’ll try to leave early after the meeting. I won’t promise, tho.
Asahi : Thank you so much Suga. See you next Saturday! I miss you!
Ring ring.
“Hello.”
“Kou-chan, should I be the one to always call you?”
Damn.
He forgot to call his mom. Again. Ever since he’s gotten a job and moved further away from his home he used to have frequent video calls with his mom, more so after he graduated. He would call his mom at least once in two days and even message his brother just to annoy him at least once a week. Yet, he has been buried in his job. He didn't have the thought to call his family in the day. By the time he went home after work, he realized it was already midnight and he didn’t want to wake up his mom. Without realizing it, he stopped calling his family. The last phone call he made was around two months ago when he just got promoted.
“I’m sorry Mom. Whenever I want to call you, it’s midnight, I thought you were sleeping already and I don’t want to disturb you.”
“You’re my son Kou-chan. I would always give my time to my sons. I’ve told you several times to call me. I want to know how my son is doing.”
If he felt his throat tightened the first time he heard his mom by phone, now he is on the verge of crying. He felt extra mellow tonight and he doesn’t know exactly why. Maybe the stress has been catching up on him. The second semester is ending soon, there are tests and homework to grade, reports to make, and preparation for parent-teacher meetings. On some days he’d forget if he has eaten anything.
“How’s it going with Daichi-kun?”
“Mom, I told you everything. We don’t keep in touch anymore.”
“And I’ve told you to start calling him and you’d give it a try.”
“I’ve been busy… and he might think I’m annoying.”
“There’s no way Daichi-kun thinks that way, he’s your best friend."
Yeah. If I didn’t break our promises and fall in love with him.
“Give it a try, okay honey? Oh, and you’re going to come home next week, right?”
“Yes."
“Okay. Love you, honey.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
The call ended. Suga looked at his phone screen. He didn’t know if he would, at least, leave a message for Daichi.