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Ever since that traumatic day when Ai was murdered in front of him, Hoshino Aquamarine has harbored in his heart nothing but a twisted and sinister desire for revenge. Any help, talk, therapy or treatment was useless. Nothing and no one was able to clear that little boy's mind of the trauma, the pain and the, invisible to many, guilt that gnawed at him. Not that he didn't try, from exposure to conversation, absolutely nothing managed to dispel his hatred, nothing allowed him to move on. At least not until he killed with his own hands the wretch who took his promising life away from Ai. Whether it was the fault of the sick structure of show business or that particular man, he didn't care. In fact, he didn't care about anything, as long as he could achieve his goal. He would sacrifice his body and soul if it meant making the one who, according to him, was the devil himself suffer. A murderer, a manipulator, a monster: his father.
If he thought about it carefully, Aqua knew that deep down he resembled his progenitor. To his misfortune, his behavior and meticulously established attitudes led him to fight fire with fire, to manipulate in order to reach the manipulator. Beyond Ruby, his twin sister, there was no intrapersonal relationship that did not exist for the pursuit of some benefit. Information, contacts, skills, from Kaburagi to Himekawa. No person in his close circle was more than a tool available for his use. No one, absolutely no one. After all, she didn't deserve it. You let her die. He is reminded of an image of his younger self, barely four years old. You have no right to be happy. He replicates an illusion of him in his doctor's garments, before he was killed. The glass shows his reflection. A crooked smile, no, a grimace adorns his face.
"Genetics sure has bad taste." He is identical, an exact copy of his father. Blond hair, blue eyes, smooth skin. If Ruby was his mother with a different color palette, then Aqua would be Hikaru Kamiki's copy and paste. The only mildly positive aspect of this is that Aqua could easily recognize him, it was enough to find himself and kill him. Yes, something simple. He already had the basis to catch the man. Actors and actresses, directors and investors, Hoshino Aquamarine has them all dancing in the palm of his hand. All it takes is one move, a few simple words and they will fall at his feet. Some would give in easier than others, but that is not the case for most. In the end who would expect him, a young actor son of the acclaimed idol, Hoshino Ai, to be doing all this theater to kill his father? Everyone, with the exception of a couple of people, believed that he was in this world to fulfill his mother's last wishes.
A soft chuckle escaped from the corner of his lips. The pair of stars in the turquoise sea shone. A theater, a play whose ending was predetermined from the very moment Hoshino Ai's life was to end. 15 years of lies was just the prelude to the climax of such a turbulent story. Lies there, hidden truths there; some of the participants in this drama didn't even know their role in it.
Just like her. He thought, as he glimpsed a copy of the movie script.
If Aqua thought about it, there was no reason to keep a certain redhead in her vicinity. Beyond the chance encounter in her childhood days, Arima Kana possessed no characteristics, contacts or information useful enough to make it worthwhile to play along. Yes, she was useful to him in his early days with Kaburagi, but having made a name for himself in the industry, Kana could provide no more resources than Aqua could on his own. She was useless, a pawn at best. With clear functions for the start of the game but lacking in importance enough not to make her a sacrifice in cases of risk. That is Arima Kana for Hoshino Aqua. That's what that childish girl should be for him.
There are no reasons.
There is justifications.
There is no why.
Arima Kana shouldn't be within his priorities, he shouldn't be spending days of fake dating together with her when, on the other hand, he could be developing and analyzing possible countermeasures in case of some failure, some mistake. Yet here he is. Alone after the escape of an embarrassed redhead following a comment that could pass for flirtatious. Playing on the feelings of a girl who, he knows, is no longer useful to him. So why does he keep up this charade, is there a reason, is there any point in him getting so close to her when there are no logical justifications for it? Maybe I like her company. It's silly, ridiculous, fruitless for his current purpose. He doesn't deserve to enjoy, he doesn't deserve to love or be loved, he doesn't deserve to be happy. And that includes the presence of Arima, she who shines like the Sun in the sky and who, on rare occasions, deigns to shine who is the brightest star on the stage. Dazzling and blinding, Arima Kana is the Sun itself incarnate and, like it or not, Hoshino Aquamarine was dazzled by it. Similar to an insect attracted by a source of light, Arima Kana was capable of turning into the center and catching them all with its light. Saying to everyone, "Look at me, the center of this show is me!". Yes, it sure was that. Even Aqua, who promised himself to watch solely and exclusively for the realization of his ends, couldn't help but want to witness that light, that girl so obsessed with performing. It was addictive, to a point.
Who knew that he, of all people, would be the one who would end up the same way as Icarus. Never get too close to the sun, or there will be nothing left of you but ashes.
"Since when?" The little lips pursed, irritation and pain, neither dominating over the other. Eyes slightly closed, as the glowing rubies looked at him accusingly. Answers, they demanded answers.
"Arima—" The pronunciation of the name, with that tonality, replete with nothing but justifications. Or excuses, depending on who it sounded to.
"Just... just answer." She interrupted, not angrily. But with insistence. One sentence, a couple of words were all she asked of him. Was it so hard to answer?
"Since I asked you to become an idol."
To most, that short sentence meant nothing. It referred to a gap of time. A few would think, barely straining for an implied message. Arima Kana is not one of those people, no, she is the exception to the rule because, here and now, she is demanding an answer to the behavior of the one who, she thought, was her friend, Ah-kun. Hoshino Aquamarine, the guy she had been in love with for over two years. Being the exception, his words struck deep in her chest. The bright eyes, once filled with nervousness, began to lose their intensity. The pupils contracted, and her brow barely creased. Something to be expected, being an actress, accustomed to holding everything inside herself and exploding at the most unfortunate moments. Of course, her attitude and self-control improved —thus avoiding the irreversible collapse of her career— but that didn't mean that not so small things compressed her heart and that was reflected in her affable face.
"Why...?" A whisper, barely audible. The façade of the responsible, condescending actress began to fall apart. Her hands, white and well-manicured, with beautiful pink nails, closed. Tense, repressing the girl's tremors.
"You were useful to me." Five words. Cold and expressionless, Aqua didn't seem to share Arima's feeling of pain. "You were so obsessed with seeing me perform again that you didn't think twice about introducing me to your contacts." Aqua's emotionless sayings, look and body expression did nothing but tell Kana that he wasn't lying. "I must say that it took just a few nice words to make you extremely cooperative with my targets. You made my job a lot easier, Arima."
"Your job, you say, what job, that of using people?" The noxious receptors in Kana's hands reacted, her manicured nails digging into the smooth skin of her palm. She didn't care, not when who she thought was her friend was acting so strange. "You're supposed to like acting, by this point you should have found that spark that motivates you to act. What other reason would you have for approaching this world?"
"You never stood out for your genius, you know? Even Akane, who has known me for less time, could deduce that." There wasn't a hint of mockery in his voice. The only thing that came through was something akin to disappointment, disappointment in the redhead's null abilities to think beyond the big picture for a second. "You know my history well enough to know what I'm doing here."
"No, I don't." She raised her voice, bounced off the four walls of the lonely room, with both of them being the only witnesses. "I'm not a fortune teller, and you're not the most open person I know. So I don't know. I'm not understanding anything, Aqua. Why are you acting like this, why are you telling me all this?"
"You should be able to figure it out on your own."
"Enough of that nonsense!"
Her patience ran out. Kana, letting herself be carried away by those same emotions that almost destroyed her career, grabbed the blond's shirt tightly; the pair of sapphires and the stars that accompanied them watched her without reacting, bored, as if they had expected this reaction from the female. Predictable, as always. "What do you think you're doing, Arima?"
"What are you looking for, Aqua? Why are we here? Why are you here?" almost painfully, the girl swallowed hard. I can't break, not yet. "Tell me to my face, tell me why you are so involved in this world if not to fulfill your mother's dream."
Of all the reactions Arima Kana would have expected from the eldest of the twins, a laugh was definitely not among the options. It started as a small, fleeting smile. Kana's instincts urged her to pull back, Hoshino Aquamarine's expression was creepy to her. The source of that sinister laugh, which soon turned into a thunderous cackle, had to be just as dark as the boy's history and that of his family. A series of unfortunate events that brought his mental state to a point of no return. Even Aqua himself was aware of it.
To fulfill Ai's wish? To become what she thought I should be?
It was an open fact that when the Hoshino's had a turning point in their lives, their eyes would show six-pointed stars in them. Sometimes, signs of elation and joy; at other times, much, much murkier, darker and forbidden desires. Arima Kana, noticing Aqua's expression, wanted to turn away. It was frightening her. "You are too naive, Arima." Before she could even retort, the twin brought his face close to the female's, resting the dangerous stars on her person. "Ai died because of me, what right do I have then to make my life and leave her death unfinished?"
"What...? Hoshino Ai was murdered, and that someone wasn't you—"
"The story didn't end there, and I'll be the one to give that story a conclusion."
"The murderer committed suicide!" replied Kana, desperate to get Aqua out of whatever this terrifying train of thought was. "I understand that it was very traumatic for you to see her die firsthand... But there's no reason for you to continue to cling to guilt!"
"Do you really think a random fan would be able to discover the home of one of Japan's most famous idols?"
"What?" the confusion, mixed with pain, was palpable.
"Personal information such as a public figure's home address isn't something a fan would be able to get."
The redhead was silent for a second. It made sense, her being until recently an idol as well. That kind of information, no matter how investigative you were, you couldn't get it unless you had a first-hand source. Someone capable of leaking such important details had to be in the figure's innermost circle. "Are you implying that someone gave him that information...?"
"Apparently you do know how to use your head."
"But why?! That guy was clearly insane! Why would anyone want to tell her—?" They wanted her dead. An answer from their subconscious, the only logical idea within the whole scheme of events. They wanted to get rid of her, and so they manipulated that deranged fan. Nausea rose in her stomach, the color drained from her face. That person, the one who revealed things to the wrong person, was a loose end. It was the loose end. "Are you looking for that person...?"
Aqua raised his shoulders, unconcerned. "To my bad luck, that bastard would have conspired to kill Ai as a minor. There would be no justice for her, so I was left with no choice."
There would be no justice in a legal way.
There would be no punishment for her mother's murderer.
There would be no consequences for the psychopath who destroyed a family.
So he, Hoshino Aquamarine, would take matters into his own hands. If the judiciary was unable to bring closure to his anguished life, then he would be the executioner of the punishment. Even with her rather naive mind —or rather innocent, pure of the evil that stalked the blond— Kana knew what he was referring to. She jerked away, not recognizing the boy in front of him. "No. You can't do that."
"The decision has been made since the day my life was ruined. There's nothing you can do to stop it."
"It's not the way!" She exclaimed loudly, one of her hands on her chest while the other remained outstretched. "He may be a despicable human, but it's not your place to make that decision!"
"Not my place?" Aqua closed the distance between them, Arima just instinctively seeking to pull away. He cornered her, like prey on the edge of a cliff and with her only escape route blocked by a fierce, huge, intimidating predator. Kana felt her body shrink, her arms clinging to her torso and her gaze... "I saw Ai die when I was four years old, bleeding to death as she hugged me. I was stained in her blood." A sharp thud against the wall, his hand inches from the redhead's face. She closed her eyes, frightened. "And the aftermath? The fucking murderer killed himself before he even got a punishment. Worse, it seems absolutely no one cared to investigate further about it."
It was a fanatic who lost his mind and murdered his precious artist. A shame, really. But those are the risks of being famous.
"They didn't inquire, didn't bother to think for a second how a nobody could get so close to Ai." Accusations to the system, to the public, to society. No one, no one wanted to know any more answers. After all, who was interested in a dead idol? They are perfect dolls, and once broken, they are useless. Disposable. Trash. "I wasn't going to let things end like this, not when I could do something. Even if it meant not being happy and turning my relationships, my friendships and my life into a lie."
"Aqua, I don't consider our friendship a lie...." Still insulated by the pressure of the male body, the girl spoke in a soft tone. "I-I had told you once before... You are my precious friend."
"And you think I think the same?"
"W-What do you mean?" The tremors became more frequent, because as much as she wanted to deny it, Aqua....
"All of this, from my work as an actor to my personal relationships, has been created to fulfill my purpose." He stared at her, devouring her with his hate-filled, pain-filled stars. "A fictional play. Nothing was real."
"You're lying." She shrieked. Kana was ashamed to look so weak. "You may be looking for that person, but that doesn't mean anything was real. Something must have been, there has to be."
Unflinchingly, Aqua grabbed Arima's chin hard, forcing her to look directly at him. Unable to pull the rubies away from the dark sapphires, the former trembled. "Do you really think so, Arima? You really are quite a gullible girl. Naive and foolish." The tips of their noses brushed. At any other time, the actress would be embarrassed and her face flushed, but she was aware that whatever this behavior was, it could not be associated with anything good. She wanted to walk away.
"L-Let go of me, please."
"Even Akane knew it was all a sham. Why do you insist then that it isn't?" He questioned, slightly annoyed. Aqua didn't understand her, he didn't understand the origin of this confidence about him or why Arima's appreciation for his person. He doesn't know why, despite spitting the truth in his face, the redhead clings to a shred of kindness and warmth that he knows he doesn't possess. It bothers him, irritates him. He can't help but react accordingly. "The only reason we talk, why, according to you, we're friends, is because you were useful to me. You acted as a shortcut to my goal and nothing more." Fangs flashed, ready to bite out the jugular of his prey. The venom in his voice, in every syllable that escaped his mouth was far more damaging than he had ever expressed to anyone. And he was speaking that way to someone who, in his subconscious, he knew she didn't deserve it. "You were just my tool, you were never my friend. You're nothing to me."
Plaf!
A slap. A sharp, dry, resounding blow. A deep reddish hue began to adorn the left cheek of the handsome face of the eldest Hoshino. An irregular color as well as a stinging heat; Aqua couldn't help but reflexively bring his hand to the affected area. However, he remained silent. He looked at her, even though he expected nothing from her. Her face, her wrinkled features and a wetness that seemed to drown the intense ruby that adorned the orbs of the acclaimed actress. Sorrow, pain, betrayal. Arima Kana's lips opened and closed multiple times, almost as if she wanted to process everything, searching for the right words, the right answer. She swallowed the lump in her throat, anguish gnawing at her from within. "Get off of me. Now."
He stepped back. A couple of steps backward that opened the space, leaving her free; with an escape.
Now is the time where you step back from the stage, Arima Kana. He continued to stare at her, without uttering or making a sound. This is not a story you should have been a part of.
These were mere coincidences. They were both at an unfortunate time, and that's why everything culminated in this situation. And if she wasn't going to walk away naturally, then he will force her way out. The world I belong to is not the same as yours. And that's why you must leave.
"Right now I'm feeling a million things." She began. "I'd love to yell at you, beat you up for the imbecilities you just said." Being an actress, Kana knew exactly how to reflect her emotions during her performance. That didn't mean she limited herself to that particular area: her face and the frown on her features, the pain and anger in her eyes, the ragged breaths escaping her lips, and the trembling that ran through her hands. Aqua, being an interpreter who knew what to recognize perfectly what a sender was seeking to express, felt how each of the things Kana reflected lashed him.
I hate you.
Why did you do this to me?
I trusted you.
You used me.
I won't forgive you.
I loved you.
"But... I'm much better than that. Yes, Arima Kana won't be defeated by a little thing like this." Your body says otherwise. "I won't let your madness consume me." Your voice says otherwise. "I'll move on, whether you like it or not." You just want to cry, don't you? "I hope you don't get what you're looking for, Hoshino Aqua. Take care."
She turned away before her eyes even let out a single tear. She grabbed her belongings and retreated from the room, hurriedly. She didn't want to be there anymore, with him.
And then he was alone. Alone in the pale room and alone in his life. There was no one else left, the only person with whom he could more or less engage in conversation outside of his desire for revenge had been cut out of his life. All on his own initiative. Aqua uprooted the only glimmer of hope he had left in his life.
The only glimmer of a promising future.
He fell sliding against the wall. With his legs flexed to his chest and one hand covering part of his face.
"But this is for the best."
The small cold drop that slid down his burning cheek said otherwise.