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While resting his arms on the back of his head, nesting it onto the pillow underneath, Jazz let out a deep breath.
He was lying on the floor of a bedroom, one with a rustic appearance, with books and scrolls littered all over the place. There was a shelf they normally stayed in, but now they lay scattered — on the floor, desk, chairs, and other places they shouldn’t be.
Although not tiny, the room was clearly meant for only one person — a fact reinforced by the presence of a single bed. Even so, at that moment, two demons were sharing that space, and neither of them occupied the empty bed.
The room had one big window, dressed in curtains that only let a sliver of light through. Still, the moons shone brightly enough to partially illuminate the two boys on the floor.
The room Jazz was in was not his own, but Allocer’s.
This was not unusual. After all, Jazz’s house was more similar to a battlefield. With the threat of having his belongings stolen constantly hanging above his head, it was incredibly difficult — if not outright impossible — to truly relax at his home.
Many were the times when he would wake up to find his lock picked and multiple of his possessions missing. And to rub salt into his wound, his brother would then brag about how easy it had been to steal from him, belittling him… just recalling it made Jazz’s jaw clench.
In contrast, Allocer’s place was a haven he could always turn back to. His dad was nice, Allocer himself was very understanding, his room was cozy and, most importantly, safe.
Sleeping on the floor wasn’t unusual for them, either.
Ever since their torturous weeks of “training” with General Furfur, where their only allowed moments of peace were on the night’s floor, the duo had grown used to doing so — even after regaining their freedom. It reminded them of their time spent planning their counterattack on Furfur, of the way they would encourage one another with their words, and the shared determination they held to outsmart their target together.
To Jazz, especially, it brought back memories of their idle chatting, getting to know each other better and growing closer as a result.
Opening up about his family situation, sharing his personal troubles, letting himself be vulnerable… those were precious moments of intimacy that he had never shared with anybody else.
Other demons would probably find sleeping on the floor uncomfortable, but for him, it instead provided a nostalgic sense of comfort.
Those were the kinds of thoughts swirling in Jazz’s mind as he glanced at the boy resting beside him.
Allocer also had a pillow supporting his head, as well as a single blanket that covered both him and Jazz from chest to toe. His posture was rigid, back pressed against the floor, with both hands clasped on top of his stomach. But the thing that stood out the most about Allocer’s appearance was his eyes, both wide open, unblinking.
Jazz knew, from past experiences, that it didn’t necessarily mean he was awake. To make sure, he inched closer, observing the lion’s quiet, rhythmic breathing.
“Hey, you awake?” he whispered close to his ear, “Allocer?”
His voice caused his fluffy ear to twitch, but he received no other response.
After waiting for a moment, Jazz backed away, satisfied with that confirmation.
“You always fall asleep so fast… I don’t know how you do it.” Now back to his previous resting position, he said these words with a smile.
“It always takes me forever to fall asleep.”
Because of his family, he wasn’t used to being able to fully relax at night. If anything, the darkest hours were when he couldn’t let his guard down if he wanted to keep the few remaining things he owned. His brother had taught him the hard way to always sleep with an eye open, a habit that was now proving hard to let go of.
“You’re lucky you can sleep with your eyes open,” he sighed, “if I could do that, it’d save me a lot of headache… and money.”
Struck by an idea, he turned to his friend again. Carefully raising one hand, he held it before Allocer’s eyes and waved.
‘Or maybe it wouldn’t help at all?’ he wondered, noticing Allocer’s complete unresponsiveness to the movement.
Seconds passed before he dropped his hand again, resting it on the floor.
The silence that ensued was heavy. The hours were steadily ticking by, but Jazz’s restlessness was only growing. Time seemed to be moving slower while his thoughts picked up in speed.
To distract himself, he looked at the ceiling and counted every crack in the wood. He did the same with the walls, before watching the stars outside the window and trying to recognize the few constellations he knew.
He spent a good while struggling to read the cover of every book within his eyes’ reach, until his gaze eventually trailed back to the sleeping Allocer. It’s not like he meant to stare at his friend while he slept, but something about him couldn’t help but draw Jazz’s attention in.
Maybe it was how calm he looked, or the way the sky’s glow reflected on his gray mane and dyed it devilish hues of soft blues and purples…
Whatever it was, it was powerful, prompting Jazz to sneak glances at him on multiple past occasions.
Soon enough, he found his focus dancing around Allocer’s whole figure. Limbs to torso, taking notice of the black claws that he was always so careful not to damage anything with. His fur, especially the longer tufts around his face and neck, seemed so fluffy that Jazz couldn’t help but imagine how soft it would be to the touch…
He wanted to feel it. He wanted to run his hand through Allocer’s cheeks and comb his fluff with his fingers.
It took immense effort, but Jazz somehow managed to hold himself back, turning his attention to something else.
Allocer’s mane, in its lush and glossy appearance, was especially marvelous to gawk at. Long strands of silver cascaded down his head, beyond his pillow and onto the floor, forming elegant patterns. It was a bit surprising how healthy his hair seemed to be, considering Jazz had never seen him brushing or moisturizing it.
Thinking back on it, he figured that Allocer didn’t start caring for his appearance until around the Harvest Festival. After their training, he had started putting more effort into his grooming; growing his mane, dying it, styling his bangs and overall paying closer attention to his style.
“You’re a really deep sleeper,” Jazz mumbled, the exhaustion finally starting to catch up to him. He watched Allocer for a while longer before deciding to close his eyes.
A mistake.
He should’ve known that his hands, which had a mind of their own, would jump to take advantage of this opportunity. Sneaky as they were, they pounced on their target without making a sound and, before he knew it, he was feeling something in his grasp.
Something silky and light, that caressed his skin with cloud-like softness and exuded warmth.
Something vast with many fibers. Delicate and thin, yet also voluminous enough for him to dip his hands in it.
Something Jazz really didn’t want to stop touching.
His tired mind struggled to process what it was — it wasn’t until he rubbed the thing between his thumb and index finger that he realized he had been stroking Allocer’s mane.
Eyes shooting open, he immediately retreated his hand as if it had been stung, the sudden movement causing him to almost slap himself.
Shame and embarrassment overwhelmed him, pooling in his stomach and igniting a flame that began to spread an internal heat. Starting from his neck, it traveled through his cheeks and forehead, reaching up to the pointed tips of his ears.
Even though there was no one around to see it, he hurried to cover his blushing face with his hands.
“This is so stupid,” he growled, clutching his own hair while flailing from side to side, “why the devi are these feelings so hard to deal with?!”
He bit down on his lip, fighting to keep his breath quiet and even.
Just a few weeks earlier, Jazz had come to realize that he had feelings for Allocer, but the jury was still out on how helpful that knowledge really was.
On one hand, he finally understood what those feelings of butterflies in his stomach, pounding heartbeat, joy, and weakness that he felt around Allocer, meant.
But on the other hand, now that he was aware of this truth, it simply wouldn’t leave his head.
What was he even supposed to do with that information?
Confess…?
Just thinking about it made Jazz’s head spin with nausea.
No, Allocer was far out of his league. Why would such a brilliant, sophisticated demon want to be with a failed excuse for a thief like him?
He swallowed on nothing, feeling his mouth dry. As much as he tried to ignore his emotions, they refused to go away, plaguing his every action — especially around Allocer. The more he repressed them, the stronger they became.
“This isn’t working…” He needed to try a different strategy, whatever it took to get rid of that hopeless crush.
He shot a glance to Allocer. Somehow, he was still sound asleep, unfazed by Jazz’s fuss.
If Jazz admitted those feelings… he wondered… if he dared voice them out loud, whispered for no one to hear, would that finally soothe his aching heart? Would it satisfy him, at least a little?
‘I guess I don’t lose anything by trying.’
As embarrassing as it would be… if it meant possibly calming down his heart, it was worth a shot.
With his eyes still set on Allocer, Jazz turned his body to rest his chin on the pillow.
The sight of the moon highlighting the silver of Allocer’s mane, its hue seemingly shifting colors depending on the way light hit it, made him breathless.
It was mesmerizing.
“I never said it, but the color really suits you.” Jazz’s voice was small, yet unmistakably warm. This is not a side he would’ve been brave enough to show his partner were he to be awake.
“And the new length. It looks good on you,” he continued. “You’re so smart, it’s amazing how you always manage to rank first in every quiz.”
His words that started as barely audible confessions, shaky and delicate, slowly picked up in fervor. Sinking deeper into the pillow, he hid his quickly reddening face behind his hands again. Still, now that he had started, he couldn’t stop the secrets that sprang pouring out of his chest.
“You’re reliable. You’re always there for me,” he said, thinking back on the Heartbreaker exam, as well as their shared training, “I don’t know what I would do without you…”
The more he spoke, the more his heart fluttered, lightweight, filled with confident frailty as if he had never been so sure of anything else before. The feeling seeped into his core, tunneling his senses and poisoning his mind. He found himself surrendering to the rush, his words pouring out effortlessly, carrying the weight of the secrets he had held buried for so long.
A short pause followed, broken the moment Jazz finished regaining his breath.
“Your fur looks so soft, I have to hold myself back from touching it all the time.” His body stiffened, cold sweat forming on his temples at his own admission.
“You’re always teaching me so many new things… but um, I feel like I end up forgetting most of it,” he laughed, easing some tension, “I don’t know how you can remember all of it.”
“You’re so calm and composed all the time. I try to keep my cool around you, but sometimes I… I can’t help but wonder if you can hear my heartbeat from how loud it is.”
“Seriously, it’s no wonder you’re so popular with girls,” he said, the slight furrow between his brows being the only sign of the jealousy he concealed.
“I also… I think I’m…”
…
For a moment, all sound in the room disappeared. Not even the breeze coming from the window could disturb the stillness at that space in time. Even Jazz’s heartbeat, which should have been roaring wildly, quietly stood still.
“…in love with you.” were the words he never got to say, as they got stuck in his throat. Instead, his mouth hung open, chills assaulted every inch of his skin and his stomach contracted itself into a tight ball of dread — because, at that very moment, his eyes had met with that of Allocer’s sitting figure.
Allocer woke up with his face on fire.
His face, his chest, his entire nervous system, burned.
Even as it raced to its fullest extent, his mind couldn’t comprehend the information it was given. His senses were unsure of themselves, for what was happening was beyond logic, above fantasy, transcending even the realms of dreams.
“I never said it, but the color really suits you.”
He inhaled sharply; keeping his breath even suddenly became an arduous task.
“And the new length. It looks good on you.”
The urge to pinch himself grew inside him.
“You’re so smart, it’s amazing how you always manage to rank first in every quiz.”
He had to know, whether the words he was hearing were truly part of reality or nothing but a figment of his imagination.
“You’re reliable. You’re always there for me.”
Because his own bias weighed in so heavily that he was unable to discern it himself.
“I don’t know what I would do without you…”
His judgement was clouded, disabling any possibility of rational thinking, because he so desperately longed for those whispers to be true.
“Your fur looks so soft, I have to hold myself back from touching it all the time.”
He didn’t know Jazz’s voice was capable of sounding so…
“You’re always teaching me so many new things… but um, I feel like I end up forgetting most of it. I don’t know how you can remember all of it.”
Tender.
“You’re so calm and composed all the time. I try to keep my cool around you, but sometimes I…”
If he wasn’t careful…
“I can’t help but wonder if you can hear my heartbeat from how loud it is.”
…he felt like he might become addicted to it.
“Seriously, it’s no wonder you’re so popular with girls.”
“I also… I think I’m…”
Finally, something snapped inside of him. He had reached his limit. Unable to withstand the rush of energy blazing within him, Allocer’s body shot up at its own accord.
Even in the dimness of the room, he was able to watch Jazz’s expression rapidly shift from warm and affectionate to shocked. Jazz hurried to sit up, facing Allocer, at the same time that horror plastered itself on his face.
“Jazz…” Allocer tried to break the silence, but struggled to find the right words to say. Nothing among the thousands of books he had ever read had prepared him for a situation such as this one.
Thankfully, Jazz, who was better at speaking than he was, took over the job for him.
“You… how long have you been awake?” he asked, voice trembling. Although it was a bit hard to see in the darkness, Allocer thought his face looked abnormally red.
Allocer hesitated. The option of lying crossed his mind, and he spent a few seconds weighing the pros and cons before replying.
“A few minutes,” he said, having settled on telling the truth.
Even he, who was not very good at reading others’ emotions, could tell Jazz’s body brimming with tension. A pause followed as both boys struggled to grasp the full scope of the situation, uncertain of how to proceed.
Once again, Jazz took initiative by leaping forward while exclaiming his next words.
“Listen, about that last part—!”
“I feel the same way.”
Hearing Allocer’s interruption, Jazz completely froze up. His outstretched hand, previously waving wildly as if to shake something off, was now paralyzed, suspended in midair.
“…W-whuh?” The question came out as something more akin to a blabber. Jazz himself seemed to notice this, as he rushed to cover his mouth while waiting for Allocer’s response.
“I…”
Apprehensive, Allocer gripped the blanket tightly, squeezing and twisting it in a way that mirrored his current emotions.
“I feel the same way,” he repeated, unable to think of anything else to say.
Once again, silence crept its way into his bedroom, staying even longer than the previous times. It gave Allocer enough time to think up a million different reasons why he had just ruined everything.
Now he was the one hiding his face, even though the room was probably too dark for Jazz to see his embarrassed expression. He swallowed the lump in his throat while trying, in vain, to control his intensifying shaking, a single drop of sweat trickling down his head and neck.
“You mean… you like me?” Jazz eventually spoke, absolving Allocer from the excruciating wait.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“…Yes,” he confirmed again, the force at which blood rushed to his face making him lightheaded.
The suspense haunted him, giving him nothing to focus on but his clammy palms and pounding heartbeat — but only for a moment, as Jazz was about to do something so unthinkable it would soon evaporate every bit of tension in the room.
He burst out laughing.
Allocer jumped back, startled, before frowning at Jazz in confusion.
“Sorry, I—” He struggled to speak between his choking laughter. “I just— I feel like such an idiot right now.”
“I mean…” he began, shifting in his seat while avoiding Allocer’s gaze. This time, he was able to confirm that Jazz’s face was, indeed, reddening. “I thought for sure that you’d reject me.”
Allocer blinked, dumbfounded. Jazz’s low, wavering voice reminded him of a dejected puppy, piercing him like a knife. What was he supposed to say in response to that?
“I wouldn’t reject you,” he stated bluntly, causing Jazz to chuckle again. The sound sent pleasant shivers down Allocer’s spine.
“Well, I know that now.”
He dragged his body closer, his smile exposing fangs that glinted under the moonlight.
“So, uh…” he stammered, licking his lips before continuing, “Does that mean we’re dating now?”
Before Jazz brought it up, Allocer hadn’t even thought about it, but demons usually started dating after confessing their feelings for one another. He pondered on the question, but he found that he didn’t have to think too much.
“If you want,” he said, hoping that his fur would conceal the heat spreading across his face.
“Yes! I mean—” Flinching at his own eagerness, Jazz straightened his posture and cleared his throat before trying again. “I’d like that.”
And so it became Allocer’s turn to laugh — not that he meant to mock Jazz by any means, but he found his bashful demeanor to be endlessly amusing.
“It’s getting late. Let’s talk more about this in the morning, okay?” Jazz offered, scratching the back of his head, and Allocer nodded.
As the realization of what that meant for both of them started to sink in, they found that they couldn’t stop grinning. But before Allocer could lie down again, Jazz bounced forward, taking hold of his hand.
The act caught him off guard. He watched as Jazz slowly raised Allocer’s hand to face level, eyelids shut, grazing his lips across his fur before pressing down to plant a single, gentle kiss.
“Good night,” he whispered.
What should have been a romantic picture, one straight out of a fairy tale, was made silly by the appearance of Jazz’s cute, blushing face, wobbly smile and slightly droopy ears. Still, Allocer was stunned. His heart rate picked up, air rushing out of his lungs as Jazz’s gesture solidified their newly established relationship as boyfriends.
Reminiscing on Jazz’s earlier words, Allocer wondered if this was also something he had been wanting to do for a long time.
“Good night,” he eventually replied, with just as much affection.
Seemingly pleased, Jazz let go of his hand, and Allocer quickly found himself missing the warmth of his touch.
But it was fine. They’d have more than enough time to indulge in those kinds of things later.
In the end, the two of them went back to sleep feeling much lighter, lying closer to one another than they did before.
