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“NO!” a voice screamed.
Blue eyes shot open, and a figure sprang into a sitting position in the darkness of her room on this new moon night. Tears streamed down her face. Sweat, like raindrops on her skin, sticking her yellow and red polka dot pajamas to her body. Her body shivered uncontrollably as a trembling hand was slowly brought to her face, covering her eye. Her breathing was unsteady as she panted, trying to pull herself back from the brink mentally yet again.
She had that dream again. Well, it wasn’t just a simple dream, but a retelling of past events that her brain tormented her with. It was the 3rd time this week. She had never told Gohan about this and always put on a smile when he was around. She couldn’t bear to have him see her this way. After all, if he could go and save the world from Cell or go toe to toe against Buu without a hint of fear, then she should be able to tackle this just the same way.
“But…I’m not like you Gohan…I don’t know if I can do this on my own anymore” she thought.
It had been 3 months since the battle with Majin Buu and the earth had returned to peace at last. But Videl was still struggling to find hers. The battle with Spopavich…it changed her. While her physical wounds may have healed, the mental wounds were just as fresh as the day they happened. The thought of fighting scared her now. Ironic coming from the daughter of the world martial arts champion. Someone, who just a short time ago, was stopping criminals and bank robbers like it was nothing. She even went as far as to learn how to fly and asked to be trained by Gohan to help her fight at a higher level.
She had never told him about her reoccurring dreams, the mental anguish, none of it. She was scared at how he would react. She didn’t want this to affect their relationship. So she kept quiet and kept things business as usual. But she couldn’t keep it up anymore. She felt like she was going to break.
Videl ran a hand through her short, jagged looking hair as the tremors of her body started to subside enough for her to move. She willed herself to take a deep breath, stopping the hyperventilating. She kicked the covers off, feeling the cold air of her bedroom brush against the wetness of her legs. She stood up wobbly and stumbled her way over to the bathroom. She flicked the switch, squinting for a moment as the harsh white light overpowered her vision for a moment.
When she managed to regain her vision, she went over to the sink and turned the faucet on cold. She cupped her hands beneath the flow of water, gathering some up, before splashing her face. She rubbed her cheeks with her palm, the cold water feeling nice on her hot skin. After a few more rinses, she grabbed her face towel and dried off. As she was finishing up, she looked at herself in the mirror.
Disheveled hair, puffy red eyes with dark black circles under them. No doubt as a result of her lack of sound sleep as of late. Her pajamas were a mess and she felt like she just got done running a marathon with how soaked they felt. It was at this moment she realized how parched she was and ran the cup next to the faucet under it and filled it up.
“What time is it even?” she thought to herself, her eyes flicking to the clock on the toilet as she gulped the water down.
The clock read 3:12 am in its bright red digital readout. Videl finished drinking and sighed. She knew she should go back to bed, but she was too scared. She didn’t want to have to relive that moment again. She placed the cup back down and then began to peel the pajamas off her body. Maybe a shower would help her feel at least a little better.
She stepped into the shower and turned the knob to cold. There was no way she wanted to take a hot shower after all the sweating she did. Goosebumps formed on her skin from the rapid temperature change between the air and the shower water as she stepped into the stream. She grabbed the soap and began furiously scrubbing her skin, as though getting the sweat off would unshackle her from the trauma. She knew it wouldn’t but getting clean would make her feel at least a little better. Once she was fully lathered up, she grabbed the shampoo. She squirted a bunch into her hand and ran them through her hair, scrubbing her scalp with her fingers. Once she was satisfied, she thoroughly got her hair shampooed, she rinsed off under the icy cold water.
She turned the knob off, and slid the shower curtain open. She reached out over the edge of the tub shower combo and grabbed her white towel that hung in the wall to her left. She rapidly ran the towel back and forth on her hair before drying the rest of her body. Wrapping the towel around her body, she exited the bathroom, flicking the switch off. She waited a moment for her eyes to adjust once again to the dark before she could confidently make her way back over to her bed.
She reached her hand out and felt where she had been laying not some 20 minutes earlier. It was soaked in sweat. She wiped her hand on the towel to dry it, before grabbing the comforter and covering the sheets with it, giving her a dry place to lay.
“I’ll deal with it tomorrow” she thought before plopping face down on the bed. She laid there for a few minutes face down, before turning her head to her nightstand and seeing her phone. Just looking at it gave her the strong urge to grab it and text Gohan. She stood back up and snatched it from her nightstand before lying back down, this time on her back. She unlocked the phone and squinted as the bright light from the screen shone on her face.
She pulled up the text between her and Gohan. She knew he wouldn’t be up at now 3:31 am, but she still felt compelled to write something now. She didn’t know why exactly. Maybe it was a distraction for herself. She didn’t want to let her mind wander and start thinking about that horrible dream again.
Her fingers began to move almost on their own. ‘Hey, did you want to do a training session tomorrow? It’s been a little while since we’ve seen each other.’ Videl typed out. Her thumb hovered over the send button. Should she send it? She didn’t want to allude to anything over text, wanting to much rather talk in person. But she also didn’t want to lie to him like this. Deciding this was the best course of action, she pressed send and locked her phone, before letting it fall on the bed next to her. Videl closed her eyes and sighed.
She must have fallen back asleep at some point because when she opened her eyes again, the deep orange glow of the sun shone around the edge of her blackout curtains like a ring of fire. She had not changed her position at all since when she closed her eyes. Nor had she removed the towel that was wrapped around her torso. She sighed and was thankful for being able to get at least a few hours of quality sleep.
She felt her phone buzz. She picked it up and unlocked it. It was a response from Gohan. Any morning grogginess was removed as the anxiety of his response caused her to shoot up into a sitting position.
‘Wow, you were up late, Videl. Yeah, I’m down to come over. Just let me know when’ it read. She furiously tapped out a response.
‘As soon as possible’ she typed out and sent. Immediately a response was received.
‘I’ll be over in an hour or so’ Gohan sent back.
Videl read the text as she stood up off the bed. Tossing the phone back on the soft bed she went to her closet and got dressed for the day. Tossing the towel to the hamper, she pondered for a moment what to wear. There weren't many outfits she owned, which may come as a surprise to some given the amount of money her father had. She was just never one for fashion. She opted for her yellow cardigan and blue shirt, with her magenta capris.
After taking a couple turns in the mirror, she exited her room. She shut the door behind her and walked down the hallway that had its light blue walls covered in family photos and momentos that Hercule had received over the years. She walked along the dark hardwood floor to the main staircase. Walking down the wide steps, she made her way to the bottom.
She then entered the kitchen. It was unassuming. You’d never know the family was loaded just by looking at it. It had the same dark wood floor as the rest of the house. The cabinets were white, and the backsplash was a white subway tile. Black granite countertops ran the length of the kitchen. Of course, there was a professional kitchen next to this, fully stocked with the best chefs in the world. The faint clanging of pots and pans could be heard as they were already hard at work.
“Dad must be up.” She spoke to herself, rolling her eyes a bit as she grabbed a pan of her own.
Videl preferred to cook her own food. The fancy life with people waiting hand and foot on you was never something she desired. She could never see the appeal. To her it was more rewarding to make things yourself.
She flicked the knob on the stainless-steel stove top and a purple flake ignited from the burner below. She reached into the nearby stainless-steel fridge and grabbed a couple eggs. She cracked them in the pan and started brewing a cup of coffee. Kami knows she needed it after the last few nights she had.
As she waited for her breakfast to cook and coffee to brew, she felt herself getting restless. She began to fidget with the hem of her cardigan as her foot started tapping and heart rate increasing. She was nervous, scared even. She didn’t know how Gohan would react to what she was going to tell him, and it was eating her up inside.
The sound of coffee being poured into the mug and the smell of burning eggs snapped her from her inner monologue.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” She hisses through gritted teeth as she quickly turned the burner off and grabs the pan.
She quickly grabbed a plate and slid the eggs from the pan onto them. She set the pan down on the stove top and let out a long sigh. She leaned against the counter and let her head hang. She reached over, without looking and grabbed the now full coffee mug. She pushed herself up and took a sip.
Videl grabbed a fork from the drawer and began to eat her breakfast, not bothering to sit down. She was too anxious to sit. She managed to eat her breakfast and down her coffee in record time.
With her breakfast done and nothing to occupy her thoughts, Videl felt her anxiety rise again. Deciding the best course of action was to keep her mind busy, she decided to clean up. She grabbed her dishes and the pan she used and put them in the sink. Grabbing a sponge and dish soap, she went to work.
About halfway through cleaning a knock on the large wooden front door echoed into the kitchen. It made her jump a bit, even though she knew who it was. Continuing to clean, she turned her head to project her voice towards the door.
“It’s open! “ she called as calmly as she could.
She heard the knob on the door turn and the door swing open. Footsteps were heard and then the sound of the door closing with a thunk. The footsteps resumed, growing ever closer. Videl broke out in a nervous sweat. It was now or never!
“Hey Videl! Are you ready for our training session today?” Gohan asked, entering the kitchen.
Training. Even that word made her lip quiver. She had to tell him. She couldn’t keep this bottled up inside her anymore. She took a deep breath and exhaled. As she did so, she set the dish she was cleaning down and turned to face him.
He was back to wearing his purple gi from before the tournament, ditching the orange and blue he wanted to wear in the battle against Buu. Her heart began to race seeing him in that outfit. A lump rise in her throat just seeing it, a lump which she quickly pushed back down.
“N-no. Gohan, there’s something I want…no there’s something I NEED to talk about. I actually don’t want to fight or train anymore. It’s…too painful. Mentally I mean…” Videl paused as she picked up another dish and watched Gohan walk closer.
Gohan listened to her words as he walked closer but laughed a bit as he stopped a foot or two away from her. For his part, he thought this was all just a weird joke. No way could she be serious, right?
“Oh, don’t be such a kidder Videl!” Gohan said as he playfully punched her arm.
Her eyes widened on impact. Time seemed to slow to a halt. Any mental control she had was gone. She lost all strength in her legs and slumped to the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes, sending drops of the salty liquid onto the floor. Gohan was stunned. He quickly knelt down next to her.
“Videl! What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What ha…” he stopped as he looked at Videl’s face.
Her eyes were shaking, and she wore a look of pure terror on her face. The tremors returned, just like the night before. Her eyes tried to look at Gohan, but they ended up just staring past him. Staring at nothing. It was like Videl wasn’t even here anymore.
“No…NO MORE!” she screamed.
She pushed herself back along the floor, until her back collided with the cabinet doors. The vibration from the impact caused a vase and a couple nice glasses used for decoration to fall and shatter around her. Gohan was left stunned for a moment. He couldn’t comprehend was what going on with her. All he knew was she looked hurt and scared. Something he’d never seen from her before. He slowly and calmly walked forward towards Videl. Videl watched him grow closer causing her to cover her eyes with her hands in fear.
Gohan knelt down and pressed Videl against him. It was the only thing he could think of to do. He’s never been in a situation like this before. Videl for her part remained rigid and hyperventilating. Even with this embrace, she was unable to calm down much.
“Videl…are you okay?” Gohan asked her softly.
His words managed to bring Videl back from the brink. Her sapphire eyes were once again able to focus on the world around her. Videl reached up and squeezed his shoulder with all of her strength.
“No. I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a while…I can’t do this anymore Gohan. That fight, in the World Martial Arts tournament…scarred me. And fighting, or thinking about fighting, brings all those horrible memories back” Videl said, her voice trembling as she struggled to keep herself together.
Gohan was stunned. He had no clue Videl was in this much pain. Even though they had been together for so long, she had never been this open and vulnerable with him. It hurt him, knowing how much pain she kept to himself.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked
“I used to be…so strong. I could stand up for myself and take anyone down. I felt invincible. But now…” she said, tears dripping faster now. “Now look at me. I can’t even look at you wearing that without wanting to cry. I thought if you knew…you’d think less of me. But I can’t keep pretending everything's okay anymore. I need you to understand. I can never go back to that life.”
Gohan took a moment to soak it all in. Here he was coming over thinking Videl wanted to spar, only to be told that she not only didn’t want to train today, but she also didn’t want to fight ever again. The scared look, the tears. It was all so unlike her. But he loved this woman and would do anything to help her.
“Listen to me, Videl. If you don’t want to train anymore, then I won’t either! We’ll live our lives as a normal couple, with a normal family. None of us will have to fight again.” Gohan promised.
Videl couldn’t believe those words. Gohan was really going to give up training and fighting just like that? All for her? She could feel a new wave of tears welling up as an emotion surged through her: relief.
The dam burst open. All the repressed emotions and feelings came flooding out. And she was powerless to stop them. She wrapped her arms around him, sobbing loudly into his chest. Gohan brought one of his hands to her head and began to run his free hand through her hair.
The two of them stayed there, locked in embrace, on the floor as Videl continued to let her emotions out. It felt good, finally knowing she had someone to share this burden with. Someone who understood her and loved her the way Gohan did. Gohan would stand up to grab tissues for her to use as she continued to ball. It took what seemed like an hour before Videl finally stopped crying.
The two of them spent the next hour on the floor talking, apologizing, and trying to smile. Eventually, Videl managed to stand, and clean up the mess that she had caused. She swept the broken porcelain up and tossed the last tissue into the trash can that Gohan had brought over. She sniffed and looked back at Gohan who was sitting at the kitchen table.
“Sorry about all of this. I know this wasn’t the way you wanted to start your day.” Videl said, laughing softly.
Gohan gave a soft smile in response.
“Well, if I’m being honest, I’m glad you told me. I’d rather this than inadvertently hurting you.” He said.
Videl turned to him and gave a slight nod. It was all she could muster. She was just so tired after all of that. She didn’t think she could do anything else today. Gohan picked up on this too.
“Why don’t we go relax for a while?” He asked her, standing up from the chair.
“Yeah, I’d like that” Videl said quietly with a slightly bigger smile than before.
The two of them proceeded to exit the kitchen and go to the living room. The two sat down next to each other on the large brown leather couch in front of the dark screen of the TV. Videl leaned to her side and rested her head on Gohan’s shoulder. She made a light coo of contentment as she wrapped her arms around his. It didn’t take very long for the soft breathing of Videl to slow into long and slow as slid off to sleep. There would be a lot of work that would need to be done, and a lot of time needed for her to heal, but for right now it seemed, Videl could finally rest.