Chapter Text
Once upon a time, there once lived a colony of ogres, creatures feared by many due to their big silhouette, their porous skin, their sharp teeth, and their acidic breath. Tales of these monsters roam the lands, tales that are so vile and horrific that even the king was afraid. So afraid he ordered to hunt down every last one of these creatures, all slaughtered and killed, all but one survived.
Shreksday, an ogre so unnatural, that even her fellow ogres were afraid of her. Many describe her as creepy, spooky, and a little bit kooky. No one dared to come near her or her swamp. Unless you're an "adventurer" that is. Anyone who's anyone that dared to come near her residence will never be seen ever again.
One knock? Two knocks? No three. Three knocks were heard under the swamp tree. The ogre stood up from her slumber and went over to the door made of lumber. She looked around wondering who dared come to her swamp in the dead of night. The king? His entourage? Or maybe a knight. No matter who it is, she doesn't care, she'll make sure to tear them limb from limb and eat it up without a spare.
"Who goes there!" She screamed, but all she saw was an empty stream.
Once again she repeated, "Who goes there!" But all she heard was a cricket. Shreksday pondered, maybe no one encountered her sad little residence, no visitor in existence.
The ogre went back to sleep, frolicking in her dreamland, where she tortured humans by cutting their hands. Alas, the beautiful nightmare was interrupted by another knock, this time four she counted.
She stomped through her home, each step more powerful than the next. She opened the door once again only this time she found creatures of all kinds, small to large, on her doorstep begging to stay, which she was against.
"Please ogre" Pinocchio begged on his knees with shaking legs.
"We'll do anything please" he pleaded then came another creature, this time they were impeded. Shreksday was unmovable, she was agitated, to think these creatures have the nerve to go up to her swamp and ask her for help, so she screamed "GET OUT OF MY SWAMP YOU HEATHENS"
This didn't work the creatures still stayed, which annoyed Shreksday.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT" she complained, "ILL DO IT, SO YOU CAN GET OUT ME SWAMP" she offered.
The fairytale creatures explained, the king has banished them for they are considered grotesque, ugly, and unpleasant to be in his country's presence. Comments the ogre has heard from her colony which banished her.
She agreed to talk to the king, to settle an agreement, where these creatures get to stay in his kingdom and make sure she's forever alone and isolated. Come morning Shreksday packed, essential things, like food, clothes, and her backpack.
Of she went to the kingdom of " Dulloc " with her new roommates waving her goodbye.
So far Shreksday has not encountered any trouble, all she's experiencing is her stomach expressing a rumble.
She trudged through the forest looking for a grub, but all she saw was a sad lonely shrub. Irritated she went through her luggage to find some bit of food when she heard someone scream "PLEASE I CANT TALK LIKE YOU THINK I COULD"
Curious, she went over to where the sound came from, there she saw a talking donkey running away from the king's entourage. "PLEASE OH PLEASE IM INNOCENT" he pleaded "I'M A NORMAL DONKEY HE-HUR OR WHATEVER!" he tried
Shreksday couldn't care less, she walked away from this mess. Unfortunately, luck was not on her side, because the talking donkey noticed her and smiled.
He ran behind her seeking protection, which perplexed Shreksday about this notion. "PLEASE HELP ME" the donkey cried "ILL DO ANYTHING" he pleaded like all the others.
The ogre was about to turn away to get back on track when suddenly they were surrounded by a crowd. a crowd with swords and spears to be exact. “Ew, it's ugly” a guardsman commented, to which the monster replied “That’s kind of cruel, that’s just a donkey”
“Stay away ogre” they threatened to lift their weapons toward Shreksday and the talking varmint. “Under the grand regime of lord Farquad, we are authorized to arrest both of you and put you in a cell”
She scoffed, "Arrest me?" She questioned before she roared to which the soldiers responded with a plea.
"DON'T HURT US" one exclaimed, "I WANT MY MOMMY" another screams ashamed. And so they ran far far away, peeing their pants midway.
The green giant was about to turn around when the donkey expressed "OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE BEST".
Shreksday looked at him bewildered by the way he screamed those words unfiltered. No one has ever reacted like this before, but he continued to scream which was sore.
The girl turned around to ignore the donkey, which opted for him to follow the ogre to which she screamed "DON'T FOLLOW ME".
"Why not" clearly not getting the hint
"Why would you," shreksday said with a questioning glint
"I like you we should be friends, I'm Eugene, and you?" He offered his hoof
The monster didn't budge and simply said "Shreksday". She looked at him like he had two heads, earlier she just scared the pants out of the king's soldiers, yet he was still adamant about becoming friendly with her.
She thought he was odd, which is saying a lot considering Shreksday is the other half of the conversation. Never mind him though she had a mission, a mission to get her swamp back, so she shrugged the donkey and simply said excuse me and went back on track.
She thought she lost him, the way she's lost herself, not until she saw Eugene again waving at her.
"You know, you've been walking in circles, are you lost?" He commented to which the green behemoth simply denied. She huffed and walked past him…
And a couple of times after that.
"You're lost, I can help you, you know and maybe we can become buddies after this!" He said optimistically, hoping to befriend the stubborn brute.
He's also right, she's never been this far away from her residence before, it's normal for her to get lost, but she won't admit that so she once again denied it…
And denied again a couple of times after that, until she caved in
"FINE" she groaned, she'll do anything to shut him up. "I'm only keeping you because I am lost" she finally admitted. The jack celebrated and attempted to hug Shreksday to which she refused and moved away.
"Where are you going anyways"
"Dulloc."
"You are in luck" punctuating every word "I know Dulloc! Come on" as he pushed Shreksday towards a direction.