Work Text:
They both go way back. Himeko no longer remembers it now, but Kafka holds unto that memory fondly. Now and then, she’d slip away from the Stellaron Hunters to do what she wants and not what’s according to plan - Stelle can figure out the rest for the time being. They already worked on their stitches, waiting for the finishing touches from their ace, anyway. And when that does happen, she finds herself warping into a certain café on Earth. It is light-years away from the Herta station, and definitely more away from their hideout, but it is always a good thing that no matter the time difference, the establishment is up and running.
Kafka orders without a second thought—two cups of black coffee, one with three cubes of sugar and the other pure. She sits down beside the window and opens her phone. And as the smell of coffee enters her senses, the memories start.
A younger Himeko and Kafka talking late at night inside the café. Two cups of steaming coffee in front of them, one half-way done and the other untouched. Himeko talking about the stars passionately, a train that she’s tirelessly fixing on these days, and dreams of traveling the whole galaxy, and Kafka listening intently. It doesn’t even matter if many eyes are on them purely because of their looks, a glare from Kafka is enough for them to run with their tails tucked between their legs.
“I want to go with you.” Kafka blurts out that one night, interrupting Himeko’s speech about a distant world recently discovered. Amber eyes widen and softly turn into a look of adoration. “I want to travel to the galaxies you talk about.”
Himeko beams at her. “You never really gave me the impression that you wanted to.” She cups Kafka’s cheeks. “If you do, then you’re really subtle about it.”
“You know that I won’t even bother staying up at night with you for days if I don’t want to.”
“What led you into being so direct now?”
“…” Kafka hesitates and looks away from her, a blush adorning her cheeks. “… I do not want you to leave me alone.”
She receives a peck on the cheeks that night. And the following nights after whenever Kafka drops by to help fix the train. Those kisses evolved over time, and they even found themselves underneath the covers most nights before the express was finished. There is no confirmation on what they are or what their relationship is, but both of them knew it by heart. Even before they met the mysterious being in the express, Pompom, or even before Welt welcomed himself in the express one time after coming out of a black hole.
Kafka remembers it, how everyone in the express came to be, how every event flowed until a certain Aeon crushed them, crushed humanity completely. She remembers the pain, the fear and losing everything before a certain pull brought her back. But before it all, she remembers finding something important, something that she knows in her heart and mind that will change the course of action that she will take.
Elios, the leader of these Stellaron Hunters, as he calls his group, gives her an offer she couldn’t deny—an offer to alter the course of destiny that lies ahead of them. Of the express that Himeko and the Nameless lead. All at the cost of her staying away.
“I do not want to part with her.” Kafka remembers the tremble in her voice. “Nor from anyone, is there nothing else I can do?” A time when she let so much emotion drip from her voice, a very rare treat these days.
Elio told her that time that there is no other way. The slave of destiny, will be the one to replace her role instead, but not quite. This slave of destiny, Stelle, was tasked into making memories with her.
The first run was painful, to pretend to her supposed lover that she is alright and there is nothing to fear, all the while as Stelle watches beside them, taking in the world and the destiny she is supposed to fulfil. And the cycle repeats every time Nanook decides to interfere and every reset, Kafka feels her own sanity take its toll, eventually twisting her into the Kafka she is now.
Turning her into someone dead set into making sure things go her way, their way. If it means saving Himeko, and at some point, the little kid she can call her own and watch her grow. There is no beauty in a lifeless universe, no beauty in an empty space without humans to occupy—to dominate.
And as Kafka learned along the way, to pursue this beauty is what she wants to do. To make sure that the beauty that captivated her tightly wrapped heart will still be there for her eyes to behold.
This time, in her current timeline, they still hit it off the same. The same old meeting, the bitter coffee, their whole routine until before they meet Welt again. Late in the night, after they tumble into the sheets, a ringing in Kafka’s ears brings her back from her daze, stopping the imaginary patterns that she draws on Himeko’s unblemished skin.
"Stelle is ready.” The familiar voice echoes in static inside her head. The usual flamboyant tone is uncharacteristically serious. “Stop fooling around with your woman.”
Kafka groans. “At least pick a better timing,” she dawdles and continues her caress to the person next to her. “You will end up all alone with an attitude like that, you know?”
“I have no use for such physical relationships with other people. There is something else of utmost importance—like executing our plan, for example-”
“Alright, alright, I got you now stop whining.”
“I await the good news.”
She lets out a sigh as the static subsides. What she and Himeko have, she knows that it is more than physical, it is something that transcends timelines and endless rewinds. What they have is something beautiful, that’s what Kafka holds on to. To leave her in the middle of the night and leave her side for a while is nothing in exchange for a promise of eternity once they manage to stop Nanook’s inevitable attack.
Kafka gathers their scattered clothes off the floor. Completely clothed, she carefully folds Himeko’s favorite dress and sets it beside her, making sure to cover her side of the bed with pillows to make sure that she will feel nothing wrong, well at least til morning comes. She plants a kiss on Himeko’s forehead and whispers: “See you soon, my love.” and escapes into the night.
“Took you too long, idiotka.” The hacker prodigy, Silver Wolf, scolds her. “We still need preparations before Stelle can board this express early on.” Kafka gives her a shrug and struts to the rift where Silver Wolf came from. She dips her head a little and turns to look at Silver Wolf with a smirk and a faint glow in her eyes.
“What are you standing for there, then?” And enters the rift.
Of course, Himeko was not happy with that, Kafka wouldn’t be as well. A runaway lover who disappears one night without alerting Pompom and suddenly intercepts you the first time you finally get your hands on a stellaron that you need to seal without them. The confused look in her eyes that eventually morphed into sadness and anger – it is something that Kafka will never forget. Not when she herself dropped the final piece to shatter the navigator’s heart. “I got here first cutie, better luck next time~”
Kafka motions her current partner at that mission, Blade, that their mission is done. With the stellaron deep inside the mountains, Kafka gives the frustrated Himeko a smile. A sorry that she hopes the other woman gets, before Blade flooded the cavern with smoke. In their getaway ship, she takes her time cleaning herself of the dirt and mud that came with the underground world the stellaron is located at. The feelings of disgust never left her, until the present, but one must persevere if it means finding a brighter future. No matter how cliché that sounds.
She places her hopes into Stelle, the unknown variable in Nanook’s path. It’s too much for her to handle alone, but with Elio’s support and their intervention, she is sure that this time it will work. Even if it hurt abandoning another person she grew close to, that she has to lie over and over again.
She knows she has a script to follow meticulously, but there were no rules in how they should enact them – just a few limitations. Kafka smirks, trying to swallow the bitter coffee. The nameless’ journey to their second stellaron. Truthfully, she just meant to send a voice transmission over. But she can’t help but want to see Himeko, even if she knows it will be just a look of disappointment and annoyance when she acted out that she didn’t know the woman.
Kafka knew she shouldn’t have done it, but she did anyway. After her fall from Xianzhou Luofu (and Blade catching her in their exit), she slips into the Astral Express. Although the rest are free to go back to the train, so to speak, they still spend the majority of their time in the war-torn homeland of the long-lived species and immortals. She knows, the galactic batter likes taking her time to inspect every single speck of what she sees, after all.
That gives her more motivation to see and sneak on her former(?) lover who likes to spend her time monitoring her group while the train conductor goes around the express to clean, dance and what have you to clear off their mind.
“I know that you’re here.” The familiar silvery voice greets her ear. “Get out, or I will make sure to leave you dead outside.” Golden eyes meet a pair of rosy-red wine pearls. There’s something burning hot inside those eyes that captivated Kafka the first time. The urge to cup her cheeks and give her a long kiss is too strong at the time—it still is. To melt in her arms once more, she’ll reward herself with that soon.
She just hopes that she is still worthy of doing so.
Perhaps sensing the hesitation, the frown on Himeko’s face falters, and Kafka can’t help but sit down next to her on her bed (which used to be theirs). Out of habit, she places a hand on her exposed thighs and leans on her shoulders. “I just want to see how the esteemed Astral Express is holding on.”
“We have no need for due inspection.”
“Of course you don’t.” Kafka dawdles and traces circles on Himeko’s skin, earning her a shiver and a quiet moan. “You alone are enough to make sure the express is running on its full potential.” And she means it with her whole heart.
In a heartbeat, Kafka felt like she’s floating in the air, and landed on a fluffy air of clouds a moment too soon. She knows what will happen next, and she knows that she shouldn’t, she just reprimanded herself a while ago. But as long as she is not the one initiating, right? Kafka accepts the kiss and their tongues battle for dominance, usually. This time, she lets it be and hugs Himeko tight.
Oh, if only every day is like that, like before. Kafka leaves out a sigh, finishing her cup of coffee. She takes in fully the empty seat in front of her and the untouched cup of coffee. Ever since that meeting, she makes sure that every step of the plan that involves the Astral Express means having to meet Himeko and meet her, discreetly or with a bang. It doesn’t even matter anymore if it’s just a shared kiss or a tumble under the sheets. Even if it’s just fleeting, it won’t erase their attraction to one another, like a moth to a flame.
With Xianzhou Luofu already proving to be doing good on their promise to lend their end in times of need, Kafka hopes that the finale this time is worth everything that she worked hard for.
That this time, the finale will leave a happy ending.