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Lock broken, slur spoken
Alice had stumbled into the quidditch changing room rather pleased with herself, and expecting to surprise Narcissa, who had just finished practice with the Slytherins. She froze at the sound of another voice in the changing room and froze in her tracks.
“ Come on Cissa, I want to know where you’ve been.” Alice was fairly certain that was Bellatrix’s voice.
“ I don’t know what you mean Bella. Honestly, I’ve just been going about my days as normal.”
“But it’s not as normal as you usually are!” Bellatrix protested. “You are never in the common room and Lucius Malfoy, who might I remind you is your betrothed hasn’t had a conversation with you for the past month.”
“What are you really asking?” Narcissa hissed back.
“Who have you been spending your time with?” Bellatrix said, voice cold and slow.
“Surely not someone from another house.”
Alice heard Narcissa scoff. “You’re being ridiculous.
“Surely not a Gryffindor.” Bellatrix continued. “And certainly not that chaser half-blood Fortescue.”
Alice covered her mouth quickly to hide her gasp. Narcissa had no such reaction. No Narcissa let out a cruel laugh and without missing a beat responded.
“That mudblood? I don’t think so.”
Wound open, game token
I didn't know you were keeping count
They sat together in the astronomy tower, leaning against the cold stone bricks of the wall and staring up at the stars. Alice had her shoulder leaning against Narcissa’s and her head leaning against the Slytherin’s body.
“You’ve seen Lucius more than me this week.”
Narcissa’s body stiffened immediately, and as Alice looked up her eyes slipped into a mask of unfeeling emotion.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Narcissa asked, staring straight ahead, voice monotone.
Alice shook her head in disbelief. “What does that have to do with anything? Are you serious?”
Narcissa closed her eyes and took a breath, as if she was dealing with a petulant child.
“He is my betrothed. You know people need to see me spending time with him.”
“What am I then?” Alice said, voice raising partly at Narcissa’s statement and partly at the way she said it so devoid of emotion.
Narcissa sighed again and Alice stood up.
“I’ll see you later.”
Rain soaking, blind hoping
You said I was freeloading
The cold winter rain fell on both girls' faces as they ran for shelter at Scrivenshafts, laughing and pulling each other along. The bell of the shop rang as they closed it hastily behind them and collapsed onto it gasping for air, partly from running and partly from laughing so hard.
“ Merlin the weather’s bad.” Alice said, after catching her breath
“ Yes, so much for our plans to have a quidditch practice tonight.” Narcissa agreed, blue eyes staring into Alice’s fondly.
“May as well get some school things while we wait the rain out.” Alice suggested and Narcissa nodded.
They wandered around the shop for a few minutes and Alice piled some rolls of parchment into her arms before wandering up to the front desk. She placed the parchment in front of the shopkeeper and reached into her bag to pull out her bag of coins, only to realize it wasn’t there. She sighed, this day just kept getting better and better.
“ Cissa, I forgot my money. Can you cover for me?” She called out to the blonde.
Narcissa came over and began pulling out her own bag, full of galleons.
“ Freeloader.” she said teasingly. Alice laughed quickly, trying to hide the small twinge of frustration at the words.
“ What would I do without you?” Alice responded, a small smile on her face.
I didn't know you were keeping count
“ You owe me 12 sickles.” Narcissa had said as they neared the staircase Alice would take to the Gryffindor common rooms, as they walked together through the corridor.
Alice tried to ignore the flicker of disappointment at Narcissa asking for the money back, she didn’t mind at all. It was strange because when they had started seeing each other Narcissa had loved buying Alice things. Alice ignored the peculiar behavior and offered up a quick ‘Yeah of course.” Before starting up the stairs.
High infidelity
Put on your records and regret me
Alice had been sitting in the library, scribbling away at some transfiguration homework with no particular motivation. It was fairly close to closing time and so she was startled by the sound of a conversation happening a few rows away. She walked over, wondering if maybe a few younger students hadn’t realized what time it was. Her jaw had dropped as she saw Narcissa talking with Lucius Malfoy, his hand draped over her arm.
Narcissa was smiling up at him, laughing at a joke Alice knew wasn’t funny. He leaned in closer and Alice bit her lip in disbelief of what was happening. Lucius tilted his head forward further and a long curtain of his stupid blonde hair fell in front of both of their faces, obscuring what was happening from Alice.
She felt her heart stop. She was certain she’d have to go to Madame Pomfrey immediately or she would certainly die. Just when she was certain her heart had stopped for good, it picked up, pounding faster than ever to make up for lost time. She felt her chest heaving and was certain her breath was coming out in loud shaking gasps. She didn’t care. Didn’t care until Narcissa stared at her, eyebrows quirking up once before her face slipped into a cold mask.
Alice fled.
I bent the truth too far tonight
I was dancing around, dancing around it
“ Alice it wasn’t what it looked like!” Narcissa protested.
“Really?” Andromeda asked, still storming through the hall and not bothering to make eye contact with the other girl. “So you weren’t snogging Lucius in the library?”
Narcissa flung her arms up in exasperation. “No! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
Alice froze and spun around to find herself face to face with Narcissa. “What exactly happened then.”
“He kissed me.” Alice scoffed and began walking away again.
Narcissa grabbed her wrist to hold her back.
“But I stopped him, I promise I did Alice.”
High infidelity
Put on your headphones and burn my city
Your picket fence is sharp as knives
Alice sat with headphones listening to a record she had smuggled in last year. As she watched the record spin round, and round, and round, she allowed her mind to wander. Of course, Narcissa hadn’t kissed Lucius, that made sense at least. But the thing was she would have too eventually. would even have to produce an heir at some point, and Alice didn’t know how she was going to handle that. She didn’t even know if she could.
I was dancing around, dancing around it
Narcissa had been staring at her with those arched eyebrows and pleading eyes, Alice had kicked off from the ground and flown away. Narcissa had followed.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She yelled, so Narcissa could hear her through the wind.
Do you really want to know where I was on April 29th?
Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?
Frank was leaning against the largest sofa in the common room and joking around with anyone who would listen. Tonight, that person happened to be Alice. Normally after a quidditch win she would celebrate with Narcissa, whether Slytherin or Gryffindor had won. Tonight, Narcissa had dismissed her quickly leaving Alice startled and hurt. Instead, she was spending the evening with Frank Longbottom.
Frank had tried out for the team at the start of the year, which was admittedly rare. Normally it didn’t strike seventh years to suddenly start playing quidditch in the middle of studying for their newts. Frank hadn’t been very good, and Alice hadn’t been able to in good conscience add him to the team. She had offered him a spot as a backup which he had taken with eager sparkling eyes.
Storm coming, good husband
Bad omen
Dragged my feet right down the aisle
“ Lucius and my marriage is set for July first.” Narcissa had said, startling Alice and causing her to close her charms book quickly.
“I didn’t realize it would be so soon.”
Narcissa smiled sadly while tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. “Neither did I.”
“And there’s no way to get out of it?” Alice said, knowing the answer well but still allowing herself to hope for just a moment.
“You know there isn’t” Narcissa said softly, grabbing Alice’s hand. “It’s what my family wants and it’s the only way for me to stay safe when the war comes.”
Alice pursed her lips in frustration, “If you left with me, I could keep you safe from the war.”
Narcissa pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “You couldn’t my love.”
At the house lonely, good money
I'd pay if you'd just know me
Seemed like the right thing at the time
“ How was the manor?” Alice asked apprehensively. It’s not like she really wanted to know. She hated the idea of Narcissa marrying, and how soon it would be happening. But of course, she wanted to make sure the girl she loved would at least be comfortable if not happy.
“I’ll be comfortable.” Narcissa said calmly, once again not meeting Alice’s eyes.
Alice laughed. “Is that regular person comfortable or rich person comfortable?”
Narcissa’s lips twitched for a moment before she responded. “The second one.”
Alice rested her head against the other girl's shoulder. “I’m glad.”
You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough
School was almost out, and they still hadn’t talked about what would happen after the wedding. They had talked about the wedding lots and had both accepted it to the best of their abilities. But Narcissa never wanted to talk about what they would do once she was married. Which was why Alice found herself marching down to the Slytherin common room and demanding to speak to Narcissa.
Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?
Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?
She was really supposed to be leaving, meeting Narcissa near the come and go room, but Frank was so pleasant. She knew that Narcissa would be frustrated and dismissive all night, and really how many times had she cancelled on Alice with no warning. So she sat back down on the sofa, laughing with Frank and suppressing the flutter of guilt.
Your picket fence is sharp as knives
I was dancing around, dancing around it
“ You know we have to talk about it eventually, right? Or are you planning on just getting married and then never speaking to me again.” Alice said, eyes stormy as she stared down Narcissa.
Narcissa’s lip quivered. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“So, talk to me about it!” Alice shouted.
“If we talk about it, I do lose you.” Narcissa whispered, grey eyes welling with tears.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Narcissa just stood there, lip quivering. “You might want to sit down.
Alice slid down the cold stone wall feeling the fear creep into her heart as she sank to the ground.
“You know how I told you Lucius kissed me but I didn’t kiss him back.”
Alice closed her eyes and threw her head back, leaning it on the wall as if it would give her support for this conversation. “Yes.” She whispered.
“I did. I have been.”
Alice blinked, waiting for the soul crushing pain to arrive. Instead, everything went quiet. She could see Narcissa’s mouth moving but no sound reached Alice’s ears. She sat up and muttered. “I need to go.” before beginning to wander the halls on her way back to the Gryffindor common room.
Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?
Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?
The sound came back somewhere around the third hallway she turned the corner into. She knew the tears would be here eventually and was trying to make it to the dorms before she began sobbing in public. That is, she was hurrying until someone called her name out.
“Alice!” She heard the voice call out. Spinning around she found herself face to face with Frank.
“Frank, Hi!” She said, pleading with Merlin to let her voice sound normal.
“Are you alright?” He said, putting a comforting hand on her arm. She stared down at it, debating, then, grabbing his hand in her own, smiled and said:
“Fancy a walk?”
You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough
She and Frank were lying on the sofa in the common room, she was lying on his chest, and he was running his hands through her short hair.
“You know, I’ve been interested in you for a while, maybe since last year.” he said softly. She felt her heart speed up.
“Really, I didn’t notice.” She whispered.
“I had almost given up actually.” he confessed, “Thought you must be seeing someone.”
She felt her breath hitch, and her eyes begin to prickle with the promise of tears.
“I was. It fizzled out.”
“Lucky me.” He grinned and tilted his head down, kissing her gently.
Oh, there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
And it's never enough, it's never enough
“ Alice please let’s talk.” Narcissa pleaded.
Alice kept walking.
“Please, let me explain.”
Alice turned around and sighed, staring at the girl. She looked worse for wear. Her normally perfect skin was flushed, and her eyes were weighed down by purple bags. Alice couldn't bring herself to care.
“I’m happy Cissa. I’m getting married too.”
Narcissa dropped the bag she was holding.
“What.”
“Hurts doesn’t it.” Alice muttered, walking away.
Lock broken, slur spoken
Two years later Alice still thought of Narcissa often. More often than she would like. She loved Frank and she loved Neville so dearly that she would never change her decision but often, she would wonder.
She would pass by a flower in the garden and remember how much Narcissa loved to gather them. She would see a blonde woman walking down the street and wonder if maybe it was her past love.
Today it had been while she was doing dishes. The cleaning charm was going, and she was humming to herself when she heard a laugh. It reminded her so vicerally of Narcissa’s that she walked towards it. Surprised to find it was at the front door she went to open it, forbidding the hope she could feel stirring to remain.
Before she could open it, it flew open.
Wound open, game token
She knew she had yelled for Frank as soon as she saw Bellatrix. She didn’t know if he made it to her before the first curse hit. She saw the flashes of light at first but eventually, the pain of the curses forced them shut and all she could hear were Bellatrix’s gleeful laughs.
I didn't know you were keeping count
The healer sat appraising her from the bed in St Mungo’s.
“ Mrs. Longbottom it’s really a miracle you survived. I mean I can’t even imagine the number of times you were put under the crutiatius curse.”
Alice stared ahead blinking slowly as she watched the wall in front of her. “Forty seven.” she whispered, not looking over to see the healer’s reaction.
“ That’s incredible Mrs. Longbottom really. You seem to be doing fine so we’re just gonna keep you for a few more days in case any side effect appears.”
She nodded once and waited for the healer to leave the room.
Rain soaking, blind hoping
You said I was freeloading
Narcissa came into the ward and asked for Alice Longbottom. To her surprise they let her in. When she arrived, she saw them both sitting there, Frank and Alice. Frank continued to stare into space at her arrival, but Alice’s eyes lit up as she saw her.
“Cissa! What are you doing here?”
Narcissa paused for a moment, thrown off by the cheerful greeting.
“Just came to see how you were doing.”
Alice nodded somberly, “Nasty quidditch accident.”
Narcissa froze. “What.”
“Yeah, I must have been in a quidditch accident. I was worried you wouldn’t come to check and see how I was doing. Thought you might be mad about the sickles I borrowed.”
Narcissa wanted to scream, she wanted to collapse to the ground and sob, she wanted to murder her sister.
“How old are you, Alice?” she whispered, voice quivering.
“Seventeen!” Alice answered brightly. “But you knew that.”
I didn't know you were keeping count
The next time Narcissa came to visit Alice was gone. She had come in to see her, expecting to maybe have that bright smile one last time but instead Alice stared firmly at the wall.
“Alice?” Narcissa asked, already knowing she wouldn’t receive an answer.
“Alice please.” Nothing
She jumped at a hand being placed on her shoulder.
“She’s gone dear.” Said a weary looking woman next to her, holding a small toddler.
“I’m sorry.” Narcissa mumbled, staring at the woman with watering eyes. “I never got to tell he I was sorry.” She choked out.
“The woman drew her into a hug.
“I know you were dear to her. That doesn’t go away. Even if you never got to say what you wanted to.”
But oh, you were keeping count