Work Text:
At the end of every school year, Levi tears down the posters lined up on the classroom walls, carefully peels the stickers off the edges of the whiteboard, pulls down the decorative polaroids from the line of string they hang from the pegs of. It's loads of work for little kids barely over the ages of four or five but he thinks that partially it's for himself as well. It drives him mad somedays, when he walks into the classroom and comes face to face with those same old cartoonish superhero stickers, or the poster of that blue elephant with googly eyes taped just a little too close to its nose to not itch at his nerves, but the kids like them and they tend to not take it well in the few times he has replaced them (you never know when you've accidentally torn down a kid's favorite decoration) so he leaves them be – until the year ends.
Levi likes revolving his decorations around a theme. He's gone through superheroes, medieval fantasy, the Muppets, cartoon characters, 'Minecraft', cute caricatures of insects. Last year it was the Savannah. For this next year, he has decided, he's going to make it all about space.
He replaces the alphabet chart hanging on the wall with a darker variation to match the blue and indigo puzzle play-mats (darker only in the background, the letters themselves are still rainbow). From his work bag, Levi takes out a sticker sheet of the complete solar system. He lines them all in order on the lockers, spanning from the first locker to the last, starting with the sun and ending with Pluto. The rest of the empty space is filled with golden stars, some that shine and others that glitter. He does the same with the whiteboard's edges. Instead of hanging polaroids on the string, he hangs cutouts of stars, colorful planets, and rocketships.
The final touch requires him to maneuver in a ladder through the classroom door, propping it up in the center of the room so he could stick glow-in-the-dark stars and crescent moons on the ceiling. Once Levi finishes, he turns the lights off and pulls the blinds to make sure it glows effervescently, so the kids will have something nice to stare at before they doze off at nap time.
Levi cleans up any messes he's left behind and replaces the old markers with new ones before leaving. He passes by Hange and Moblit decorating their own class on his way out and receives a text from Petra – his new assistant – shyly asking him why didn't he let her know that he was going to be decorating today as he walks down the steps. He lets her know that it's nothing he needs help with before starting up his bike.
It's a couple months into the school year now. While every batch of students is always different from the one before, there are always repeat offenses that happen every year. Levi keeps his class as clean as it could be and he tries to maintain this by teaching the kids how to clean up after themselves. Most do, after a little urging, some needing more urging than others. But then there are also kids who absolutely do not want to clean whatsoever. This year, it's a boy named Eren, who is overall very tiring to deal with. He's loud and he likes picking on the other kids. Eren didn't want to listen to Levi when they first started, but he's slowly warming up to him now that he's discovered that Levi has, as the kid describes it, 'a super aweshum motorcycle'.
Another repeat offense is the ever-so-innocent question 'Why are you so small, Mr. Levi?', often followed by some variation of: 'Are you not a grown-up yet?'.
Though this time, he has Petra to fall victim to the same questions, because for the first time in his adult life, he's finally met someone who's shorter, albeit only by an inch.
This year, however, has something special. A boy named Beckett. He's the tallest in the class, blonde, and eyes blue, big, and bright that Levi thinks is not too far off from those of an owl. Beckett is the only kid in class who knows how to read and he likes playing teacher. He follows Levi around when he's finished his task early, copies the way Levi crosses his arms and scolds the other kids when they're being too 'tardy' like it personally offends him.
"So who taught you how to read so well?" Levi asks one day, crouching next to Beckett while he colors printed drawings of butterflies.
Beckett squints his eyes at the drawing to make sure that he's not going out of line. "My mom. But my dad, also, kinda."
Levi raises an eyebrow. "Kinda?"
"Um, well.." Beckett sniffs, "Don't tell mom this but one time I heard her talking with dad. On the phone. I could hear them because they were loud. And then dad sounded mad but also sad too. He told mom she should teach me how to read for him. So it's kinda his idea too."
Levi remembers meeting his students' parents before the year begins. Beckett, he recalls, lives with only his mother, Marie, who told Levi that she had divorced the father three years ago. Marie, the polite and quiet woman she was, didn't tell him why (and Levi is perfectly fine with that; he doesn't like prying into business he doesn't belong in), but she did say that as of right then, the father wasn't allowed to visit. Levi wonders why.
When Beckett finishes coloring, he holds the page up for Levi to see. "It's clean!" Says Beckett, proudly. "You saw how steady my hands were, right, Mr. Levi? I'm the steadiest. And the best!"
"Yeah, kid, you did great," Levi tells him. "You want a gold star?"
"Yes!" Beckett shouts, and then quickly amends, "Yes, please!"
Levi gets up to his desk and pries off a glittering star sticker from its sheet. "Where do you want it?"
"On my paper, please! So I can show mom."
When Levi is done with Beckett, another one of his students – Jean – waddles up to him with his own coloring sheet pressing against his chest. "I'm done too.. Can I have the gold star on my face, Mr. Levi?"
Levi snorts and pulls off another sticker but before he can paste it onto Jean's forehead, Eren shows up behind him. "Hey, that's my thing!" He whines.
Jean pouts. "No! We all have foreheads so that means we can all get gold stars on it too!"
"Well, you all have yous but that don't mean you get to wear my clothes!"
"Tch," Levi intervenes, "Calm down, you two. Eren, didn't I say you should share?"
"I can't share my forehead.." Eren mutters.
"Not your forehead, silly.." Petra approaches, ushering Eren away to explain to him the other kids find it just as cool to have gold stars on their face. Levi smooths out the sticker just above Jean's brows. Jean beams at him before skipping away.
The next time Beckett tells something about Beckett's father is when he speaks to Marie while she's picking Beckett up from school. Beckett always goes home a little later than the other kids because Marie has a busy schedule to work around, so it's nice and quiet by the time she pulls Levi aside.
"Starting next week, it'll be Beckett's dad coming here," Marie tells him. She tucks her long, curly ginger-red hair behind an ear, "He's finally given visitation rights so I'm letting him drive Beck around before and after school."
"Is Beckett familiar with him?" Levi asks. "It sounded like he left when the kid was pretty young."
"He didn't leave," Marie mutters. "He, um.. I.. Well, he kind of did, in a way, I guess – but it was me who kicked him out. Anyways – Beckett knows him, he likes him. Recently, he's been allowed to make calls, so they talk when they can. Beck'll probably recognize him when he shows up, but if he doesn't, his name is Erwin. Tall guy, gave Beck the blue eyes and blonde hair. I think he's letting his stubble grow out these days."
"Sure, got it. Is that all?"
Marie sighs. "If.. If he shows up looking drunk. Or tipsy. Please text me."
The week after, Levi remembers that it won't be Marie coming to pick Beckett up, though she does drop him off Monday morning. He waits by the school gate with his arms crossed. It's a sunny day today so he's shrugged off his dark gray jacket and tied it around his waist. Levi has loads of tight shirts at home that show off his biceps or the curves of his slim waist but at school he wears his looser clothes, though he knows that even then it doesn't hide all that much. It's enough to be appropriate, but not enough to prevent some parents (the moms, mostly, but he's caught a dad or two as well) from ogling him at events or while they get their kids.
Levi is watching Eren, Mikasa, and Armin climb into Eren's dad's car (they're all going out to get lunch together, Armin had told him) when he notices someone striding up the steps.
When he turns, he sees a disheveled mess of a man in a sweater somehow a bit too big for him despite his already massive size (Levi has to crane his neck up to get a look at his face. He's almost as tall as Kenny). The sweater is blue and knitted, out of wool that has become dull and loose with age. The lower half of his face is hidden beneath unkempt stubble. Levi can barely see his eyes, curtained behind a thick layer of messy blonde bangs, but when he finally catches a glimpse of big (albeit very baggy) blue eyes, he knows who exactly this man is.
Despite his size, Erwin shrinks into himself, shoulders hunching and hands awkwardly thumbing at the pockets of his sweatpants. He clears his throat before he speaks. "Are you Mr. Levi?"
"And you must be Beckett's dad," Levi answers. He reaches out a hand to shake and Erwin takes it stiffly.
Erwin sighs. "I would be right to assume that Marie has told you about me, then?"
"Only the things that relate to your son," Levi says.
Erwin grimaces. "...Ah.."
It's awkward but Levi decides not to make a fuss out of it, though he does consider pointing out that Erwin shouldn't feel too bad. Whatever issue they have going on behind the scenes, in the end the man is still here to pick up his son, and Beckett himself has been the brightest most smartest kindergartener Levi had ever seen, who comes into school with a cheeky smile on his face and a pip in his step. Levi has seen worse.
"Kid's inside, by the way," Levi says. "Reading a book. Said you gave it to him?"
The corners of Erwin's mouth lifts up hearing that. "Oh, really?" He says, softly. "It's the first thing I've ever given him. I'm glad he brought it to school. Do you think he likes it?"
"Well, he reads it whenever he can," Levi tells him. "Almost forgot to eat his snacks today because of it."
Erwin chuckles. "Oh, that's the best thing a book can make you do, in my opinion."
Levi snickers. "I didn't think Dr. Seuss could be so riveting."
"Oh, believe me, his rhymes are to die for when you're at age five."
Erwin has an odd, muted sort of charisma, hiding beneath all those layers of baggy clothing, behind uncombed shaggy blonde hair. It wouldn't be wrong to call Erwin a hermit. There probably is a better man in there somewhere, hiding in his shell. There has to be, anyway, Marie didn't indicate to him that Erwin was or is abusive.
Levi's just glad that Beckett's in good hands. Or at least, hands that try to be good.
When Levi invites him in, Erwin stops short just outside of the classroom. His hands – quite big, Levi in his head remarks – begin tugging down at the edges of his sweater; he's fidgeting.
"Hold on," Erwin says. "Could you please bring him out for me? I don't– I don't really know how to greet him, you know, so suddenly like this."
"Yeah, 'course."
Levi pushes into the classroom. Beckett is right where he saw him last; curling up on the blue bean bag in the corner with the book in his hands. He's quiet but his lips are slowly moving, whispering what he's reading with squinted eyes. He's not pronouncing everything correctly but it's impressive nonetheless. Levi kneels down in front of him and taps his shoulder.
Beckett puts down the book with a frown. "You in-ter.. in-ter-upped me reading."
"Interrupted," Levi supplies.
"Yes, that. You did that."
"You can continue reading when you're home. I'll help you put it into your bag, yeah? There's someone outside waiting for you."
"Oh, my mom," Beckett says, getting up. But then he furrows his eyebrows, "No, wait, it'll be.. Is it my dad?! Is my dad here?!"
"You got that right," Levi tells him, smoothly. "Go give him a hug."
Levi gathers Beckett's things once the boy rushes out of the classroom and retrieves the boy's robot-themed bag from his locker (Beckett had picked the cabinet with the sticker of Saturn; "It's blonde, like me," he told Levi. When Levi asked him why, he said, "Well, the rings are like hair, see?").
By the time Levi emerges, Beckett is up in Erwin's arms, little legs trying to wind around his father's big torso, arms around his neck, chins on each other's shoulders. Levi can't see Beckett's face, as it's snuggling into Erwin's neck, but Erwin is beaming from ear to ear. He mouths to Levi: Thank you.
When Beckett pulls back, he says, "Mom says when I meet someone for the first time, I have to in-truh-doos myself. Do I have to in-truh-doos myself to you now?"
"Well, no, we've met before, haven't we?" Erwin says, endeared.
"Yeah, but only on the phone.."
"But I know you quite well. Introductions are for people who don't know you at all."
"Oh," Beckett hums. "Yeah, I guess you do. Mom said you were there when I was a baby."
Erwin smiles, melancholically. "I was."
Erwin walks out with Beckett still in his embrace, carrying him in one arm, his other arm holding onto the little boy's bag. Beckett is chirping off about all the things Levi has taught him and Erwin offers him his ear with a smile, easy and bright and a far cry from that look of an abandoned mutt he had just thirty minutes earlier. They disappear into the parking lot, waving Levi goodbye.
Levi thinks that's the end of that for the day until Erwin suddenly returns, phone in his hand. "I almost forgot," he says. "Would you like to have my number? In case there's anything about Beckett you'd like to contact me about."
Erwin bids Levi one last goodbye after exchanging numbers. As Levi walks back into the school, he types in the contact name: Erwin Smith.
They meet frequently after that. Every morning Erwin makes the effort of carrying Beckett until they're by the gates, and at noon he makes sure to always arrive five minutes after school ends. Erwin nods at him with a smile when they see each other and Levi always nods back. Sometimes they talk while they wait for Beckett to get his things. One time, Erwin tells him he's glad that Beckett likes to read, because he does as well. The boy is allowed to stay at his place (an old home he shares with his father ever since moving out from Marie's) for the weekends and they'd have reading sessions on the couch, where Beckett will read his books full of rhymes and pictures and Erwin will read something of Neil Gaiman's.
Some days, Levi questions the contents of Erwin's wardrobe. He doesn't tend to pay attention to these kinds of things, but it's difficult to miss when Erwin shows up in his strange knitted sweaters that look like they could only ever be excused in the winter. Erwin does own some plain ones like the blue one he wore when they first met but most of them have patterns, and all are ugly.
Marie texts Levi, one evening. She asks him how Erwin has been, if he had ever reeked of alcohol. Levi assures her that he's been nothing but appropriate and Beckett shows no signs of being afraid or even uncomfortable around him. When Marie thanks him, he tells her it's nothing and that he's only doing his job.
Two months later, Levi's class is scheduled to go on a field trip in a few days. Parents are allowed to join in and help watch over the kids if they'd like, so Levi lets them know as they drop off their kids. When he tells Erwin, Erwin doesn't react as happily as Levi expected him to.
"You're not thinking of going?" Levi questions.
"No, it's not that," Erwin mutters. "It's just– Well. I'm not sure I'd be allowed to."
That day, at break time, Beckett waddles up to him with a pouty little frown on his face. Levi looks up from the sticker sheets he had been arranging (he had bought lots more of the gold stars last night, in preparation for the trip).
"Mr. Levi?" Beckett calls. "What do you do when you don't know what to do but you still have to do something?
"When you have to make a tough decision, you mean?" Levi supplies. He doesn't typically supply complex alternatives of sentences to the kids but he knows Beckett likes big words (and he's got a feeling he knows who Beckett got that from), so he indulges him.
Beckett wrings his hands together. "Mhmm."
"It depends," Levi says. "But usually I pick the one I think I'll regret the least."
"But what if it's the wrong thing to pick?"
"Just remember how you felt when you made the choice. If it felt right at the time, then you can't really fault yourself for the outcome. It's not like you can see into the future, right?"
"I guess not.."
Levi nods and ruffles Beckett's hair. "Why? You got a tough choice you gotta make?"
"Uh huh. It's about the field trip."
"What about it?"
"Mom says I can pick who I want to go with me," Beckett answers. "But I dunno who to pick. If I pick mom, I'm scared I'll make dad cry, and if I pick dad, I'm scared I'll make mom cry. I wish I could pick both but I'm scared that'll make them sad too."
Levi hums. "Do you know who you like better?"
"I dunno.." Becket purses his lips. "But I guess I see mom all the time and I only get to see dad ev-ry now and then.."
"So you want to see more of your dad?"
"Yeah, kinda.. But I don't wanna tell them that though."
Levi raises an eyebrow. "Why not?"
"I'm too scared. Can you tell them for me, please, Mr. Levi? And don't say no because I know you can! Dad said he has your phone thing. Prob-bly mom too."
"Phone thing? My number?" Levi says, amused. "Okay, okay. I'll text both your parents after school."
Levi kicks off his shoes and lines them next to the door once he's inside his apartment. He changes out of his jeans into shorts that only make it to half his thighs, hangs his jacket and replaces his work shirt with a looser one with a collar loose enough to expose his collarbones.
He feels a pair of eyes on him and when he turns towards the shelf, he sees round, big owlish eyes staring at him, from the face of an egregiously fat ginger cat with an oversized skull, stubby legs curled into a loaf.
The staring lasts for a moment longer before Levi disconnects to clean up Stranger's litter and fill up his food bowl. Once he's done and Stranger leaps down from the shelf, Levi lays down on his bed. He naps.
It's eight by the time he wakes up and Levi goes into the kitchen to cook dinner. Stranger sits at his feet as he cooks, meowing and pushing his round face against Levi's leg.
"You eat enough already, you fat fuck," Levi tells him. Stranger nips at his calf with his teeth and Levi lifts his leg up. "Asshole."
Levi brings his plate to the bedroom and eats there. Stranger follows him, climbs onto the bed and doesn't let his eyes off Levi's dinner.
Levi retrieves his phone from the nightstand. He texts Marie first, tells her about what her son told him, spooning food into his mouth between the taps of his thumbs. Stranger tries stealing some of his food by very slowly – as if Levi won't notice – extending a paw out towards the plate but Levi pokes at him before he can get to it. Stranger blinks and turns away (the bastard is pretending to be innocent).
While waiting for Marie to reply, Levi texts Erwin. He wonders how formal he should be with him. They're a little friendlier than your typical student-parent relationship so Levi decides he'll be casual about it.
[You]: hey there
[You]: it's levi. beckett wants me to tell you something
[Erwin Smith]: Oh, hello Levi : )
[Erwin Smith]: I hope you're having a good evening
[Erwin Smith]: What does Beckett want me to know?
[You]: he wants you to join us on the field trip
It takes Erwin a moment to respond.
[Erwin Smith]: Oh my wow
[Erwin Smith]: Really?
[You]: yeah
[You]: wanted me to do the talking for him because he was scared he'd make his mom sad
[Erwin Smith]: Oh that's very sweet of him
[Erwin Smith]: Have you told Marie?
[You]: waiting for her reply
[Erwin Smith]: Oh Levi you have no idea how much it'd mean to me to join the field trip
[Erwin Smith]: Just thinking about it gets me excited. I'll be able to be a proper father for once
[Erwin Smith]: Did Beck tell you why he chose me?
[You]: he wants to see more of you. said he sees his mom every day but you not as much
Marie responds before Erwin texts again. Levi finishes up his conversation with her before he gets a notification from Erwin again.
[Erwin Smith]: Thank you
[Erwin Smith]: So very much
Levi considers telling him what he's told Marie before; that he's only doing his job. But without fully knowing why, Levi instead says:
[You]: it's all you, erwin
[You]: he wants you because you're a good dad
Levi finishes his dinner, washes the dishes, and spends the rest of the night texting Erwin the details of the trip. When the conversation deviates, Levi discovers Erwin's father is a teacher (albeit for middle schoolers, not kindergarteners, and specifically in the subject of history) and that he's unemployed right now but he used to be a journalist.
[Erwin Smith]: I do wish I had gone into education. The more I think about it the more I regret the path I've chosen for myself
[You]: you could help me on the field trip
[Erwin Smith]: Oh, but I don't know that much about animals. At least, not enough for it to be impressive
[You]: we're taking a class of kindergarteners to the zoo, erwin
[You]: you think it'll take more than pointing at a giraffe and telling them it eats leaves to impress them?
[You]: plus we'll have a tour guide there to do most of the work anyway
[Erwin Smith]: Oh I suppose that's true
[Erwin Smith]: hahahaha
Erwin sends him a laughing-crying emoji. Levi grimaces, though he's endeared.
By the time the clock on Levi's wall points to eleven, he's considering whether or not it'd be a bit too intimate to wish Erwin Goodnight but the other man beats him to it.
[Erwin Smith]: Good night, Levi : )
[Erwin Smith]: This was nice. I haven't spoken to anyone besides my Marie and father ever since the divorce
[Erwin Smith]: And it's always awkward with Marie
[You]: hey it's nothing
[You]: don't really have any friends outside of work either
Besides his asshole cat, Levi thinks (who is now sleeping against his back).
[You]: night erwin
[Erwin Smith]: : )
On the day of the trip, Levi's in class while Petra and Moblit usher the kids into the bus they've rented out for the occasion. He stuffs all the stickers he needs, an old polaroid camera, snacks and juice boxes for the kids, a flashlight, and an extra shirt for himself into his bag. There's a sheathe beneath his jeans, pinched between his hip and his belt, where he keeps his knife for excursions like these. Call him paranoid but he prefers being prepared.
A couple parents walk in, some to ask a few more questions before they leave, others to remind him to keep their kids safe while they're out. Levi replies to them all with polite smiles and assuring words, and does not tell them that yes, of course he'll keep their kids safe; he doesn't want to get fired.
He hears a series of raps against the doorframe as he slings his bag over a shoulder and sees Erwin standing there, with a bag of his own (a camping bag, to be precise), Beckett behind him.
And for the first time Levi has seen ever since the day they first met, Erwin looks clean. His typically shaggy blonde hair is cut neatly, in an undercut, almost like Levi's, though it's longer on the top. It's combed back, kept in place with a layer of pomade. He's in a knitted cardigan instead of a knitted sweater, two buttons done up in the middle. Beneath that is a crisp dress shirt, top two buttons left open. His khakis is held up by a leather belt, the bottoms ending just high enough to show striped socks inside old sneakers. A vintage watch sits on his wrist.
Levi's throat dries up. "Morning, you two," he says after quickly collecting himself. "Nice haircut."
"I'm starting a brand new chapter of my life," Erwin tells him.
There are two buses waiting in the parking lot; one for Levi's class and the other for Hange's. Petra has the kids and the parents coming with all already seated inside. She takes Beckett to the back with all the other kids after saying that there are only two empty seats left up front and that he and Erwin should take it.
Levi tells Erwin to sit down while he goes down the lane to check in with all the kids, talking with the parents for a bit, before standing at the front to do roll call. By the end, the bus driver has already begun moving and Levi has to hold onto the nearest seats to keep steady.
He's finishing up with the names when the bus jolts unexpectedly. Levi's boots slip and he staggers forward. His hands reach to grab onto another seat. He sees Erwin get up and before he knows it, he has a pair of large, warm hands circling his waist.
"Are you alright?" Erwin murmurs.
Levi's face burns. He pushes Erwin's hands off when moments of awkward staring have passed and he still hasn't moved them. "Yeah, I'm fine," he says curtly. "Thanks."
Erwin nods and brings his hands back down to his sides (Levi can't help but eye them. They're so big. Did his fingers almost touch each other when they were around Levi's waist? The thought makes his face burn hotter). "You should sit down.. Do you– Do you want the window seat or the aisle?"
Levi thinks about being cornered in, walled in by Erwin. He instinctively licks his lips and hopes the other man doesn't notice. "The aisle," Levi says, dismayfully. "In case the kids need anything."
When Petra takes over reminding the passengers of the day's schedule, Levi lets himself sit back and relax.
They have a tour guide by the name of Dot Pyxis when they arrive at the zoo. Dot is wrinkly, old and balding, and the kids are afraid to approach him at first but they warm up to him once he starts entertaining them with lame, dry puns.
Petra is much more social, so she's up front next to Dot, banters with him in the lull of conversations to keep up the good air. Levi covers their rear to make sure none of the kids stray away from the group. He scolds Eren when he tries to pull Armin and Mikasa off the line to show them "a monkey that looks a lot like his big brother".
When Levi sees Erwin taking pictures with his phone, he nudges him. "I have a polaroid camera in my bag. You could take pictures with that, if you want. Take some photos of the rest of the group too though. I'll hang those ones in my class and you can keep the ones of Beckett."
"And you?" Erwin asks as he steps behind Levi to zip open his bag.
"What about me?"
"Don't you want pictures of yourself as well?"
"Not really my thing," Levi says.
"But would you mind if I took some pictures of us?"
Levi scoffs, amused. "Go ahead."
It's midday by the time Dot leads them to the zoo's education center after the final exhibit. They get the kids to sit on the benches and Dot begins quizzing them. Levi hands out a couple sticker sheets to Petra and takes a few for himself, and they award the kids who answer correctly with gold stars. Erwin stands around the edge, dutifully taking pictures, stores them in the front pouch of his bag once they've printed themselves out. By the end of it, Beckett and Armin have their shirts covered in gold stars. The rest are awarded an extra star each, even the ones who got the answers wrong or who didn't answer at all.
After having lunch at the outdoor restaurant next to the center, some of the parents volunteer to watch over the kids while Levi and Petra catch a break. Levi tries waving them off but he gives in when they refuse to budge. Petra excuses herself so she can take her own pictures around the zoo, leaving Levi to sit with Erwin at the restaurant's bar.
They order beers and drink in comfortable silence until Erwin starts, "You know, sometimes it scares me to drink. Even just a little."
"Afraid you'll be pulled back in?"
Erwin chuckles, solemnly. "How'd you figure?"
"Beckett's mom," Levi answers, "told me to let her know if you showed up drunk. You weren't allowed to visit until recently and admittedly I got curious, so I looked up why that might be. Alcohol abuse was listed. Put two and two together."
Erwin nurses his drink in his hand, stares at it with lidded eyes before taking another swig. "Impressive."
"It's nothing," Levi says, and then, "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."
"And what if I do?" Erwin mutters. "Would you like to hear it?"
"I don't really care for other people's problems unless it has to do with work." When Erwin's face falls, he adds, "But I've been making an exception for you."
The silence returns until Levi's downed three quarters of his drink.
"It's pathetic," Erwin says, dryly. "It was only because of stress. Work was getting frustrating, my boss got on my nerves, and the only thing I found solace in was my marriage and that.. Wasn't working out either."
Levi hums and listens attentively.
"I was falling out of love with her. I felt trapped. Suddenly all the small things started bothering me. It was almost like I was actively searching for reasons for me to feel offended by her. But I knew that was wrong of me, so.. I just.. See– Beckett was only two at the time. And I didn't want him to live in a house where we constantly yelled at each other so eventually, I.. I stopped heading home after work. Instead I– You know that bar downtown? Wall Sina?"
Levi nods.
"Yes, there. I kept going there and before I knew it I.. Lost control."
Levi doesn't say anything. He places a hand on Erwin's shoulder and squeezes, tightly. Their eyes meet and neither part.
"A few months in and I was fired for showing up to work drunk. A bit after that, Marie filed for divorce. I've been unemployed and living with my father ever since." Erwin sighs, then dryly adds, "Got over the alcohol addiction though. Hip, hip, hooray for me – I managed to do the bare minimum. And it took me about.. Three years."
"Erwin," Levi says. "Listen. You did good. Alright? You're making progress. Shit, I mean, look in the mirror. You got yourself all cleaned up just because you wanted to accompany your kid to a fuckin' kindergarten field trip. And on top of that? The kid adores the shit out of you."
"I– I guess."
"Stop beating yourself up. What's done is in the past. All there's left is for you to make good with what's ahead of you and if you ask me, you're doing pretty fucking great so far."
Erwin inhales, deep enough to make his broad chest puff out and places his hand on top of Levi's on his shoulder. He squeezes him back, just as firm, just as warm, "Thank you."
"Just letting you know how it really is."
"Not just– for this," Erwin stutters. "For lots. For everything. You've been– You've been a very good friend."
Levi blushes. "You too."
Erwin glances at their hands and Levi does as well. Awkwardly, Levi pulls away first. Erwin follows.
"Well, then," Erwin says, finishing his beer. "I– I, uh. Don't judge. But I have a weird request."
Levi raises his eyebrows. "Alright. Shoot."
Erwin buries his face in his hands. He speaks but Levi can't hear him, far too muffled, so he reaches forward and pulls back one of Erwin's wrists.
"I can't hear you like that, blondie."
Erwin grimaces and places his fidgeting hands on the bar counter. "It's incredibly embarrassing."
"Just tell me already, for fuck's sake. It can't be that bad."
Erwin sucks in a big breath through his nostrils. "Could– Could you give me a gold star?"
"..What?"
Erwin sputters, "I know it's extremely childish but I just think– I don't know, I think it would be nice. They're very– They're very cute stars. I wouldn't mind having them. Perhaps on my phone. Or other surfaces. If you wouldn't mind."
"On.. Other surfaces..?" Levi drawls.
"Not– Oh, no– Not like that! I mean– There are other places to have it– Put on– Besides my phone, I was simply clarifying–"
"Do you want it on your forehead?" Levi interjects.
Erwin ducks his head down. "Yes."
Levi chuckles and reaches down to retrieve the sticker sheet from his bag. Erwin, grinning shyly, lifts the strands of his hair that have escaped his pomade and offers his forehead for Levi to gingerly paste the glittering star dead center.
"People are gonna wonder why you have that there, you know," Levi says, after.
"Oh, I don't really care."
"Give me the camera. I want to take a picture of you."
Erwin smirks. "To hang up in your class?"
"No," Levi mutters. "For myself."
When they reunite with the kids, Beckett runs up to Erwin and leaps into his arms. He pokes at his father's forehead and asks him about his gold star. Erwin smiles, tells him it's because he's finally got something right.
The group takes one final round of pictures before returning to the bus. This time, Levi sits at the window seat. He looks out to see the sun just beginning to set.
"Levi?" Erwin says, beside him. It's quiet outside the usual sounds of cruising down a half-full highway; the kids are asleep, the adults mutter to each other only in whispers. Levi turns his head, meets Erwin's eyes that are just as intense as they are gentle. Idly, he realizes those eyes make Erwin look like a puppy, in spite of his massive stature. He sees it so clearly now that Erwin isn't hiding behind a curtain of unkempt hair.
"..Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something? It's– a bit random," Erwin mutters. Levi nods. "Which way do you swing?"
"I'm gay, Erwin," Levi says, easily.
"Oh– Oh, that's good," Erwin sighs. "I– Well, I–"
"Swing both ways?"
"How are you so good at knowing me?"
Levi snorts. "Erwin, you felt up my waist earlier today."
"I– I was just trying to keep you from falling!"
"Straight guys don't hold on for that long. Not to mention, you could have caught onto any other body part. Hell, my arms were right there. But you went for my waist. I know what men like you like."
Levi catches Erwin's face turning pink under the dim light. "Well, you can't blame me for that. You have– A very good shape."
"Sure," Levi scoffs again. "You too, big guy."
Erwin's face glows redder. "Anyways, I wanted to ask. Would you.. Like to grab drinks again sometime? Properly, I mean."
Levi ducks his head down and smiles. "I'd love to."