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“Oh shit.”
Phelous turned away from the small, round window from which he had been watching people scramble around to make sure their plane was ready for takeoff and looked to the man sitting beside him. Cinema Snob hadn’t been particularly talkative since their arrival at the airport and had been all but silent once they’d boarded the plane, but that seemed to be changing now.
“I can’t fucking believe this,” he murmured, searching frantically through the small bag he’d carried on board with him.
“What is it?”
“I forgot my pills,” Snob replied tersely as he finally pulled his hands away from the bag and gave it an angry kick. Phelous’s brow creased.
“What pills?”
“I carry anxiety pills with me whenever I have to fly,” Snob explained, bringing a hand under his glasses to rub his eyes. “I fucking hate heights. I can’t handle them unless I’m half out of my fucking mind, and now I forgot my pills like a dumbass. God damn it!” He shot Phelous a hopeful glance then. “You wouldn’t happen to have any tranquilizer-like medicine, would you?”
Phelous answered with a shake of his head. “Sorry. I just brought Aspirin for headaches.”
“Terrific,” Snob groaned as he slid down in his seat. “This is just fucking terrific.”
“Would it help if I closed this?” Phelous pulled the shade down over his window and turned back to the other man.
“Not really,” Snob replied, already looking pale and slightly sick. “Not being able to see that we’re thousands of feet above the ground won’t be enough to make me forget that horrifying fact.” His hands gripped the armrests tightly and his breathing noticeably quickened.
“Is there, uh, anything I can do?” Phelous asked, feeling awkward. Dealing with terrified people was certainly not his area of expertise. Snob narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to give some sarcastic reply, no doubt, when the engines of the plane roared to life and the craft began to taxi toward the runway.
Snob exhaled loudly and grabbed Phelous’s arm, almost unconsciously digging his fingers tightly into the other man’s flesh. Phelous cringed a little but didn’t say anything, instead focusing on Snob’s face. His skin was ashen now, little drops of sweat beading his forehead, while his eyes were wide and unfocused, staring off vaguely into the distance.
Phelous twisted in his seat, ignoring how the belt dug into his waist, and tried to face the slightly shaking man. “Hey,” he said softly, bringing his other hand to rest atop the one clutching his arm. “Are you all right?” He gently squeezed Snob’s wrist and felt how fast the man’s pulse was racing. “This is going to be okay, you know. Traveling in planes is really safe and it’s really unlikely that we’ll-” Phelous stopped before saying the word crash, deciding to change tactics instead. “Don’t focus on the plane or how high we go; try to find something else to think about. If you want to talk or anything, I’m here, ok?”
The noise inside the cabin grew louder and Snob snapped out of his trance-like state. He looked at Phelous, blinking slowly, before turning his gaze down to their hands.
“Sorry,” he muttered with a hint of embarrassment, loosening his grip on Phelous’s arm and moving to clutch his hand instead. Snob’s palm was warm and sweaty, and he held on just as tightly, but Phelous offered no complaint, simply nodding.
“It’s ok.” Snob’s face relaxed for a moment before the plane sped up and started to shake, indicating that they were about to leave the ground. Snob screwed his eyes shut and squeezed Phelous’s hand hard, his nails digging into the flesh. Again, Phelous cringed but made no movement, other than to shift in his seat so that he was even closer to the other man.
As they rose into the air, the plane tilted sharply and Snob sucked in a jagged breath before leaning his head toward Phelous. Instinctively Phelous leaned toward him, allowing their foreheads to touch for a moment. Snob was gripping his hand hard enough that numbness had started to dull Phelous’s arm, but he didn’t dare move it.
Soon enough the plane balanced out and Snob finally started to relax his grip, allowing Phelous to feel the blood flow back into his fingers. Snob also allowed his eyes to open and, though they seemed somewhat glazed when they landed on Phelous’s face, they also contained a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude.
“It’s ok,” Phelous repeated, saving him from having to speak. Snob’s face reddened but he offered a small, thankful smile before turning away.
The rest of the flight passed without incident, or even much turbulence, but Snob always kept his hand pressed against Phelous’s and his eyes on the floor of the cabin. He didn’t look up for anything, which meant he was lucky enough to not notice the strange look the flight attendant gave when she came around with her cart, choosing to accept his Bloody Mary with only a small, distracted nod. The only time Snob opened his mouth was when he wanted to drink, which was fine with Phelous, who leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes for most of the flight. It wasn’t the most comfortable flight he’d ever taken, but at least there weren’t any screaming babies this time.
When they begin their descent, Snob’s breathing increased again, but Phelous made sure their fingers were tightly interlocked. Snob glanced at him for a moment but his eyes automatically closed when they dipped lower and lower, as he tried to bear with the sickening sensation in his stomach.
At last they landed, ten minutes early at that, and Phelous felt the cold AC blow against his fingers for the first time in hours. He examined his hand, staring at the thin red indentations in his palm, before realizing the seat beside him was empty.
“Hey, wait!” he called to the quickly retreating form of Snob. Phelous jumped up and grabbed his bag before hurrying after the other man. Inside the airport, he weaved and stumbled through the hordes of people hurrying along before he finally spotted Snob again. He was panting slightly and walking in an unsteady manner, as if he could collapse any second. Phelous hurried behind him and pressed a firm hand against Snob’s shoulder, helping to steady him as they made their way to baggage claim.
Surprisingly, Snob continued to remain quiet, and actually never even looked at Phelous, not even when the taller man helped lean him against a wall near the conveyor belts.
“Just wait here,” Phelous instructed. “I’ll get our bags, so don’t worry about that.”
Snob nodded, still keeping his gaze locked on the floor, but Phelous didn’t have time to think about that after he noticed the bags were starting to travel around the carousel. He quickly spotted his suitcase and pulled it off, and five minutes later, he was wheeling both suitcases behind him.
“I’ve got them,” he informed Snob after setting the bags by his feet. “Let me just catch my breath for a minute.” Phelous leaned against the wall and turned to stare out around them. Most of the passengers had taken their bags and left, leaving the two virtually alone; the only other moving carousel was at the other end of the large room. Phelous was grateful for this and closed his eyes, enjoying the silence.
“Thank you.”
Phelous turned his head in surprise but before he could move, he was slammed against the wall by Snob, who hugged him tightly.
“I just fucking hate that feeling,” Snob said before Phelous could ask. His voice was muffled, since he was burying his face into Phelous’s chest. “That dizzying feeling that I’m out of control, that there’s nothing solid under me, that I could just fall and fall and never fucking stop.” His hands tightened against Phelous’s back. “It’s fucking stupid but I just can’t help feeling that way.”
“It’s not stupid,” Phelous said in a quiet voice. Snob gave a wry chuckle.
“Yes it is. It’s irrational and it makes me feel like I’m a fucking kid again, which I’m sure is how you saw me today.” Phelous hesitated before moving his hands to rest lightly on Snob’s waist.
“I… really didn’t.” He could feel Snob shudder and tightened his hold on him.
“Phelous, you’re… the opposite of all that. I can just reach out and touch you, and know that you’re solid. I can just fucking touch you and I know that you won’t… let me fall.”
Snob’s voice was soft and shaky, not at all his usual confident baritone. Phelous gave his hips a gentle squeeze, causing the shorter man to sigh.
“I would never.” The whisper brushed against his skin before Snob felt warm lips atop his head. Snob stared up at him, looking almost startled, before he pulled Phelous down so their lips could meet. All the panic and fear he’d felt during the trip was released in desperate, hungry kisses and fingers, eager to cling to something, that traveled all over Phelous’s body.
In response, Phelous held him close and kept reminding him that he would always be there, keeping him on solid ground.