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Maya sighs and parks her car outside her apartment building. She just got off a 24 hour shift and is completely exhausted. She looks up at the sky just as the bottom falls out and it starts to pour. Great, she thinks to herself. Getting soaked is exactly what she needs right now. She grabs her umbrella that she keeps in the car, opens the door and the umbrella and makes a dash toward the entrance.
She takes the elevator up and pauses before she enters through the front door. She takes a deep breathe to compose herself. They had a rough shift and she knew Carina would be able to see right through her if she pretended to be fine, but she didn't want to be a burden to her. She opened the door and walked to the bedroom. She knew Carina would probably still be asleep, but all she wanted to do was take a shower and cuddle with her wife.
She walks in and smiles as she sees her wife lying in the bed still asleep. A few years ago she would have never imagined this would be her life. She had been against monogamous relationships entirely and had never wanted to settle down, but after she met Carina, all of that went out the window. That woman saved her life and she couldn't be more grateful for that. She sets her stuff down and hops in the shower. As the water is hitting her face, she thinks back to the shift they just finished.
Screaming and crying. That's all she could hear in her head right now. They had been called to a fire at a family home. The dad had made it out with the oldest son, but the mom and the two youngest were still stuck on the second floor. The children were both under 4 years old. They had gone in and found the mom on the stairs screaming because she was on fire. The children were at the top of the stairs crying and watching the whole thing. They ended up getting them out, but it was too late for the mom and one of the children. The worst part though, was telling the dad. He lost it. Screaming and crying with his other two children in shambles as well. Maya shakes her head to bring herself out of the memory. She has tears streaming down her face. She couldn't imagine something like that happening to her. Losing her wife would be the worst thing that could ever happen to her. She can't imagine what she would do, or what that man is going to do without his wife. She can't shake the feeling and starts to cry even harder. She suddenly hears the bathroom door open.
"Maya....are you okay?" Carina says as she walks over to the shower. She notices her wife crying. "Bambina, what's wrong?"
Maya looks at her and shrugs. She doesn't want to go over it out loud. Carina reaches in and turns the water off. "Maya come here." She grabs a towel as Maya steps out. She wraps it around her wife and grabs her in an embrace. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Maya just shakes her head. "I...I....." she starts to speak but suddenly she can't breathe. Carina looks at her and notices she's starting to have a panic attack. Maya's eyes grow big as she starts to hyperventilate. "Hey hey hey, bambina. Look at me. Eyes on me. You're okay. Take a breath." Maya is panicking now as she's looking all around the room. "Maya, hey eyes on me." Maya finally looks at her. "Copy what i'm doing." Carina takes a deep breath. Maya does the same. They continue like this for a couple of minutes.
Carina grabs Maya's hand and leads her into their bedroom. Maya follows her numbly. She gets her into some pajamas and they sit on the bed. Carina takes her hands. "Bambina, look at me. Hey it's okay." Maya still has a few tears in her eyes. She leans into Carina.
"What do you need?" Maya shakes her head and in a shaky breath says, "You...."
Carina lays down and Maya lays her head on her chest. Carina strokes her hair. "Maya whatever it is that's bothering you just know I am here for you and if you need or want to talk about it you can. I'll always be here for you." Maya just nods and snuggles closer to her wife. "I need you in my life babe, I don't know what I would do without you. Just know I love you so much." Carina smiles. "I love you too bambina." As they lay there they can hear the rain hitting the window and they both drift off to sleep.