Work Text:
Switzerland, Day 7.
Outside, it has long gone from dusk to dark. The street lights casting warm light down onto the deserted streets. The hot, still summer air blankets the town, making it quieter still. Inside however, Ava hums to herself as she finishes drying the dishes from their dinner earlier. She can hear Beatrice shuffling around behind her, tidying the living room. She’s slowly starting to learn the different sounds of the apartment and their presence in it. Ava carefully stacks the final plate, now dry, into the cupboard above her. Ava looks back, just in time to watch Beatrice sigh, leaning against the door frame. Ava grins, a little amazed still that Beatrice is allowing her to see her like this.
“Not feeling invigorated after your first late shift, Sister Beatrice?” Ava teases, shifting around to lean back against the kitchen counter, swinging the dish towel up over her shoulder. It's a move she regrets, considering the towel is still damp from the dishes.
“Not particularly.” Beatrice answers, letting out a short huff before smiling slightly. “Especially given that it is nearly three in the morning and I managed to mix up nearly every drink I made today.”
“Not everyone can be a natural like me,” Ava grins at the nun,
“You mixed up nearly as many as I did!” Beatrice exclaims, affronted.
“Yes, but I made up for it with my charm and wit!” Ava jokes, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. Beatrice just rolls her eyes exaggeratingly.
“Are you implying that I am neither charming nor witty?” Beatrice raises an eyebrow, shifting herself slightly to stand taller against the doorframe.
Ava feels the energy shift slightly, in the way it often has with her and Beatrice. It’s as though a million butterflies had all just been released inside her stomach.
“I’m implying that by yelling ‘Bastard!’ after you broke that glass, and then glaring at Hans when he tried to help you clean it up maybe wasn’t the best first impression you could’ve made”. Ava teases. She had only meant to poke fun at Beatrice for the day's events, but Beatrice looks down at the floor, frowning slightly. The energy seemed to shift again, this time for the worse. Dammit Ava.
“Yes, that was certainly not professional,” Beatrice says, still frowning. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
“Hans said it was fine, Bea,” Ava smiles, the nickname rolling off her tongue, still getting used to it, “I was only teasing. And anyways, Hans said they might have a back of house position opening up in a couple days.” Beatrice nods, her gaze finally leaving the floor to look back at Ava.
“I would definitely prefer that,” Beatrice smiles, her shoulders slumping forwards a bit in relief. “Bartending suits you far better than it does me, you certainly do have the charm for it.” Ava preened inwardly at the compliment, smiling widely.
“I’m going to hop in the shower quickly if you wanted to get ready for bed.” Beatrice announces, standing up fully in the door frame before turning back into the bedroom and heading for the bathroom.
Ava turns back towards the kitchen counter, taking the dish towel off her shoulder and hanging it to dry for the night. She follows Beatrice towards the direction of the bedroom, sifting carefully through her drawer for a sleep shirt and shorts before slipping them on. It doesn’t matter that it's only been a couple days, Ava knows by now to put her clothes in the hamper, separated into lights and darks. Once she’s changed and put away her clothes, she isn’t exactly sure what to do with herself. Thankfully she hears the shower turn off, and knows that Beatrice, in all her efficiency, will be out of the bathroom soon. Ava busies herself with trying to open the bedroom window hoping to catch a breeze. Beatrice steps out of the bathroom quietly in her pajamas, only slightly more modest than Ava’s. Beatrice pats at her wet hair with her towel absentmindedly, her eyes going a little wide when she finds Ava staring at her. She clears her throat quickly.
“All yours,” Beatrice smiles. It takes Ava a second to snap out of her head and move towards the bathroom. If she almost stubs her toe against the bathroom door frame on her way in she just hopes Beatrice doesn’t notice. Seeing Beatrice in her habit was one thing, but living with her in such a tiny space was something else entirely. Beatrice looked so young sometimes that Ava had to resist tackling her into a hug and never letting go.
She brushed her teeth quickly, not really caring to properly floss her molars. Did the halo protect against cavities? Maybe she’ll ask Camila to look into it the next time they call. She turns off the bathroom light behind her, and makes her way back into the bedroom. Beatrice glances up at her from the window which was now shut. Beatrice at least has the gall to look sheepish.
“Sorry, I think for safety we should keep it shut” She states. Ava just shrugs.
“Hey, works for me. I was hoping for more of a breeze than there is anyways.” Beatrice smiles tightly.
Beatrice walks over towards the other side of the bed, the side facing the door, and begins to fiddle with the alarm clock. Ava feels like telling her that an intruder was just as likely to come in through the window, but she holds her tongue. If sleeping closest to the door gave Beatrice a sense of safety over her protection then who was she to disrupt that? Instead, she takes Beatrice's spot by the window, pulling back the covers lightly before sitting down on the newly revealed bottom sheet. She feels as though she is actively trying not to spook a stray cat, lest Beatrice run back towards the couch again.
“Is nine-thirty tomorrow alright with you?” Beatrice asks, holding up the alarm clock when Ava looked up at her confused. Ava’s expression shifts from confused to slightly horrified. “Not a morning person?” Beatrice questions, smiling.
“I’m actually pretty fine with mornings… So long as I get my full eight hours.” Ava asserts, shooting a slight glare towards the clock which stubbornly read ‘3:14 AM’, Beatrice chuckles slightly. Ava isn’t sure she’s ever really heard Beatrice chuckle before. It’s nice.
“I suppose you’ll do better in training if you’re better rested,” Beatrice agrees reluctantly, “I can push it back as late as ten-thirty, but we have a lot of training to go over tomorrow before our shifts.” Ava grins at her, pumping her fist in the air childishly, knowing it would get Beatrice to smile. It does.
“I didn't used to be much of a morning person myself, thankfully I trained it out.” Beatrice admits, pulling back the covers on her side of the bed.
“Really?” Ava asks, “I just assumed you’d be the type to get up before the sun gets up” Beatrice raises an eyebrow at her and Ava laughs quietly, “I guess we don’t actually know that much about each other do we?” Beatrice only hums in acknowledgment, finally slipping into the bed and under the sheet, reaching up and flipping off the light on her nightstand. Ava follows suit, swinging her legs up onto the bed and settling back, before reaching over to flip off her own light. Darkness covers the tiny room, save for the moonlight streaming in despite the curtains. “I don’t even know your last name, you’re just Ms.Beatrice-no-last-name.” Ava jokes, her eyes lighting up, “Hey it’s perfect! You don’t have a last name, and I don’t have a middle name!” She says gesturing at Beatrice and then herself.
For the second time that night, Ava knows that her joke has not landed with Beatrice.
Beatrice stills, her hand still fidgeting with the sheet. When she looks at Ava it is with an unreadable expression. Ava props herself up on her elbows to properly look at Beatrice, an apology on the tip of her tongue.
“You do have a middle name, Ava. You actually have two.” Beatrice says quietly.
And oh. This is not what Ava was expecting.
She feels like the air has been swept out of her lungs when she looks at Beatrice with confusion. Beatrice turns her head to look up at her, and dammit Ava still can’t read her.
“How- How do you know that?” Ava asks, her voice sounding more pleading than she means. Beatrice looks down at her hands, but she doesn’t turn away from Ava.
“When the OCS learned that you held the halo, they tracked down all your records with the orphanage, in case it held any important information to the case.” Beatrice’s words are impersonal and almost clinical, but the way she rushes through them gives herself away.
She still won’t look at Ava.
“Birth certificate, incident reports, doctor’s reports… Death certificate” She hesitates on the last one, sounding pained. But Ava is too angry to care.
“The OCS has all that information on me, and they couldn’t even bother to tell me!?” Ava bursts out angrily, “You didn’t bother to tell me?” She asks more quietly, hurt and anguish are coursing through her body, and god, it’s just too late for this.
And finally, finally, Beatrice meets Ava’s eyes, and Ava knows the tears swimming in Beatrice’s eyes match her own.
“Ava I am so sorry,” And Ava is once again hit with just how small Beatrice looks, “The OCS-” Beatrice stops, “We were unaware of your circumstances. I wish we had done things so differently.”
And Beatrice looks so guilty, so remorseful, and Ava is so so tired. A tear slips from Beatrice’s face and she doesn’t bother to wipe it away.
Ava reaches up subconsciously to rub her neck where Beatrice had shot her with the tranquilizer, and sees Beatrice flinch, knowing that Beatrice is remembering the same encounter. Ava feels guilty immediately. She takes a deep breath before looking back at Beatrice.
“I don’t like being kept in the dark, I don’t like that you guys know things about me that I chose not to share with you. Especially from that time of my life.” Ava’s voice comes out clear, and Beatrice nods. She sits up slowly until she's facing Ava. She looks more like Beatrice again.
“I understand why you guys treated me the way you did. I don’t know what Sister Frances told the OCS about me, but I imagine it was unpleasant, and I’m sure that me running away didn’t exactly help my case.” Ava sighs. Beatrice is looking at her hands again.
The silence feels overwhelming in the hot stuffy room. Their limbs are so close to touching but so far. Ava thinks that if their bodies touch now it just might burn. It's Beatrice who breaks the silence, straightening herself up, wiping her tears rather ungracefully.
“I’ll contact Mother Superion in the morning.” She asserts clearly. It’s very Beatrice. Ava furrows her brow, wishing she could see through the calculated woman beside her.
“But we’re not suppos-” Ava starts,
“I’ll get her to send over all of the files that the OCS has on you so that you know what the OCS knows about you.” Beatrice pauses to look over at Ava, “What I know about you.” She whispers.
“Thank you.” Ava takes a deep breath before letting her head fall back fully against the pillow. Beatrice follows suit gently, staring up at the ceiling. Ava turns her head to the side to look at Beatrice again.
“So I have a middle name?” She asks quietly, the intensity dissolving. Beatrice turns her head toward Ava gracefully.
“Two.” She says softly.
“Two.” Ava repeats, smiling. It feels intimate to be like this with Beatrice. She wonders how many people have ever seen her like this. She looks back up towards the ceiling. Beatrice does as well, though is slower to turn away. The quietness of the room feels less overbearing now, and they both seem to settle into the silence for several moments.
“You asked earlier, about my last name.” Beatrice says quietly, breaking the silence. She’s still staring at the ceiling. “I left my last name behind when I took my vows. Just as I did with my first name.” Ava doesn’t trust herself to speak right now, lest she bite her tongue once more.
“I left that name, that person, behind years ago. That name was never really mine anyway. It came with restrictions, with requirements that I could not fulfill.” Her breath stutters at this, and Ava finds herself wishing that she could just reach out to hug Beatrice. Instead she settles for gently placing one hand between the two of them, not touching, just to show that show that she cares.
Finally, Beatrice tears her gaze away from the ceiling to look at Ava. Her eyes are swimming with tears again.
“I chose to be Beatrice when I was seventeen, and I choose to be Beatrice every day.” She takes a deep breath, “Saint Beatrice of Silva, patron saint of prisoners.” Ava smiles, her eyes lighting up even in the darkness,
“I wish I could take credit for that choice” Ava smiles, and the smile she receives in turn is worth everything. Ava doesn’t believe in fate, but if she did, this would be it. “Beatrice is a beautiful name, I’m glad you chose it.” Ava says, taking a breath, “You’re beautiful Beatrice, all of you.” Beatrice looks away from her again, her gaze returning to the ceiling. Ava thinks she catches her blinking away tears.
Beatrice may be here to help her train, but Ava makes a quiet vow to help Beatrice too, however she can.
Ava tears her eyes away from the nun to look up towards the alarm clock, now reading ‘4:06AM’. She hopes Beatrice will take pity on both of them tomorrow, but somehow she doubts it. Ava sighs, shifting onto her back, moving her hand from where it still lay between them to her side. In one quick motion, Beatrice grabs her hand, holding it between their two otherwise untouching bodies. Ava is almost too afraid to breathe, lest Beatrice take it back. She risks a glance over to Beatrice's side of the bed. The woman is steadfastly looking up at the ceiling, eyes shut tightly. Ava smiles softly, turning her head back towards the ceiling to sleep.