Archive of Our Own

Touch was not a concept Mafuyu spent much time thinking about. She saw her classmates, her juniors and seniors, spend a lot of free time holding hands, hugging, arms around shoulders, what-have-you. She always thought she didn’t particularly care for it. Her mother hugged her every so often, less as she grew older. Being trapped in someone else’s arms always felt too oppressive for her enjoyment. Nor did she like the fleeting, light touches of her classmates when they brushed by each other.

Touch was something that wasn’t for her. And that was alright. It didn’t affect her one way or another.

Mafuyu sat on the inside of the booth at Nightcord at 25:00’s usual diner, her back to the window. The booth itself was somewhat sticky, pulling at the fabric of her skirt as she’d sat down. She glanced at Kanade, next to her. She didn’t understand how Kanade’s hair never got caught on the perpetual stickiness.

“Mafuyu, can I order something for you this time?” Mizuki asked, their eyes widening as a plea in case Mafuyu tried arguing. It seemed like Mizuki and Ena had made a game out of order for her, seeing if anything could activate her taste buds again.

Nothing had, yet.

“I don’t care.” She pushed the menu away from her towards the edge of the table. Her mother would be expecting her home before too long. Having one of them order for her would likely be easier.

“Just don’t steal her own food off of her plate this time,” Ena scolded. Mafuyu remembered having some extra French fries Mizuki had picked at throughout the night. That hadn’t mattered to her in the moment. It wasn’t like she would’ve been able to enjoy them. It was better that someone ate them instead of them going to waste.

Mizuki winked at Ena, smiling widely. “You’re just jealous you didn’t get any.”

Ena rolled her eyes, angling herself away. Mafuyu looked at Kanade, who was relatively quiet. Kanade smiled softly at the two across from them. Everything seemed like the interactions Mafuyu’s classmates had at lunchtime. Normal, casual. It didn’t seem very hard to achieve that.

“Mafuyu, do you mind if I come a bit closer?” Kanade asked after a minute or so of Ena and Mizuki going back and forth. She pointed down at a spot near the edge of the booth. “There’s something really sticky here, I don’t want to sit in it.”

“Sure.” And so Kanade inched closer. There was plenty of space on Mafuyu’s other side; she didn’t particularly feel like she needed to move. Kanade was close, and they’d sat closer than that before. It was inconsequential.

But then her breath caught when Kanade’s shoulder bumped against hers.

Three curious pairs of eyes landed on her. “Is everything alright?” Kanade asked, seemingly unaware of what had just happened.

“Yes,” she answered tentatively, because it was. The contact was brief, nothing more than a second. It was more likely that she had swallowed incorrectly, which caused her to pause and catch her breath.

“Whatever,” Ena followed up, though she looked at Mafuyu almost … surprised? Mafuyu was close to certain that was what was in Ena’s expression. “Anyway, Mafuyu, don’t let Mizuki steal any of your food this time, Mizuki always as more than enough.”

Mizuki pouted at her, though the expression broke within seconds. “But where’s the fun in that!”

“Kanade.” The way the girl’s name rolled off of Mafuyu’s tongue was smooth, comfortable. Sitting a short distance away from her in Sekai, Kanade looked up at her. “Is it weird that we don’t touch?”

Kanade’s eyebrows raised a touch. “What?”

Mafuyu shrugged, though she knew exactly what she meant and continued to elaborate. “At school… Friends tend to sit close and usually touch each other in some way. Is it weird that we don’t?”

For a moment, Kanade thought, her eyes unfocused. “Well, no. People have different levels of comfort when it comes to that.” She looked down at her tablet, which she had brought to complete some of her schoolwork, then looked back up. “Do you want us to touch more?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to try?”

“I—” The sentence died in her throat. Her lips wouldn’t release a different response, yet wouldn’t let her complete her usual one. She was a deer frozen in headlights.

Slowly, Kanade put her tablet to the side. “Let me know if you get uncomfortable.”

And, just like at the diner, she moved closer to Mafuyu. Mafuyu didn’t move. Kanade was right beside her, shifting so she leaned just slightly against her. A beat passed, and she rested her head against Mafuyu’s shoulder. Mafuyu felt herself stiffen. Another beat passed. Like second nature, she put her arm around Kanade’s shoulders. She felt Kanade relax under her arm, moving around so she and Mafuyu were even closer. Mafuyu was certain she could feel Kanade’s heartbeat so close.

A blossom of warmth took seed in her chest. She didn’t want Kanade to move.

Kanade slid one of her arms around Mafuyu’s waist so they were essentially holding each other. “...It’s been a long time since I’ve done something like this,” Kanade said, her voice almost small. Mafuyu hummed a short note in response. “Are you comfortable? I can move if you’re not.”

Mafuyu tried to assess that within herself. The ground of Sekai was much less hard than it appeared. Her heart rate had sped up a small amount, but not enough to make much of a difference. None of her muscles felt particularly strained.

“Yes. I’m comfortable.”

Not a single thought crossed her mind before Mafuyu rested her own head on top of Kanade’s. Her cheek pressed gently against the top of Kanade’s head. Kanade didn’t stiffen like Mafuyu expected, but instead relaxed even further into her embrace. Any further and Mafuyu would swear Kanade would slide to the ground.

“Are you not used to being physical affection? Like this, or hugs, or linking arms like Mizuki sometimes tries with Ena?” Kanade asked, her voice still soft.

“No. I always thought I didn’t like it.” She took a slow breath, closing her eyes. “This … is warm. Do you not do this often?”

Kanade took a moment to answer. “Mom and Dad were always hug people. Even after Mom… Dad would still give me a hug every night at least before going to bed.” She paused again before reiterating, “It’s been a while.”

Normally, Mafuyu would begin to wonder about the productivity of such a position, such an activity of just sitting and being like that. She didn’t open her eyes, didn’t necessarily see any merit in moving. Sekai was a place she went to step away. It used to be more lonely, even when she had Miku there. Miku did hold her once or twice, but it was different when it was Kanade. Kanade’s skin wasn’t cool like Miku’s. It was warm with life.

It … was nice.

Time passed slowly, comfortably, before Mafuyu noticed the light that indicated an arrival or departure. She cracked an eye open. Mizuki and Ena stood in front of them. Kanade’s breathing had since leveled, signaling that she was asleep. Given how quickly she always responded when Mafuyu texted, how hard she worked every night, there was no doubt she needed whatever she could get.

“...What’s going on here?” Ena asked, somewhat deadpan. Mafuyu didn’t know how to succinctly explain, so she didn’t answer. Ena sighed, seeming irritated with her lack of a response. “Are you really that touchstarved?”

“Aww, I think it’s sweet!” Mizuki said, lightly swatting Ena’s arm. “I’m kinda jealous, actually, you two wanted to cuddle without me and Enanan!”

Mafuyu blinked slowly at the two of them. “I don’t know what that is.”

Ena rolled her eyes as Mizuki took a seat on Mafuyu’s free side—though only after taking a picture. “Look, you’re you, your parents are … like that, and you don’t have siblings annoying you. Probably Miku’s the only one to actually show you physical affection in years.”

Mizuki tentatively leaned into Mafuyu’s other side. Surprising herself, Mafuyu didn’t want them to move. Ena’s assessment didn’t necessarily seem incorrect, but some small part of her wanted protest. Then again, she couldn’t think of the last time she had a hug that she didn’t want to immediately end.

“I think K is the same,” Mizuki sighed, nestling in. Mafuyu imagined they were getting nice and comfortable. “Honestly, my friend and I are pretty touchy-feely, but this kinda thing feels weird to ask for, y’know? And my sister isn’t really around for me to bug.”

Ena snorted in agreement. “Yeah, Akito always annoys the crap out of me, messing up my hair and stuff like that.” She stood over the three with her arms crossed, then after a moment let her arms drop to her sides. She didn’t say anything as she sat on Mizuki’s other side, easily looping her arms around their waist. “Not a word,” she muttered into their shoulder as they snickered.

Mafuyu felt Kanade’s weight on her one side. Almost like a balancing force, Mizuki and Ena were on her other side. She felt more of Mizuki, though. She looked down at the way everyone was positioned. It was kind of like a hug, wasn’t it? She thought she didn’t like hugs. But this wasn’t oppressive at all.

“Yuki, I think this is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen you,” Mizuki said. The usual teasing tone they normally held was dropped. “Do you like this?”

“I—” Again the familiar words died on her tongue, stolen by the warmth in her chest. She swallowed them. “Yes.”