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Hello? Hello? If you can hear this, do not panic . This is not another telepathic spirit trying to lure you into its lair. This is a Human Coalition sponsored project, using spirit-energy powered radio to speak to you all. My name is Sokka, and sitting next to me is my genius inventor partner Teo. We hope this will be the first of many public broadcasts, to give everyone out there some tips and tricks for how to survive in this new, spirit infused world.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Sokka, it’s already been a year since Ozai’s devastation of the Earth Kingdom unbalanced the physical world enough for the spirit world to leak out and irreversibly alter what most of us might consider ‘reality’. What could you have to offer?
Well, survivors, undead, and those currently undergoing the process of reincarnation, this broadcast offers a broad range of experts on the spirit realm such as, me, my super smart partner Teo, Aang when he’s not busy placating the spirits, oh and my sister, I guess. And, between us and our other comrades, we have spent the last year or so establishing some semblance of peace and helping villages learn how to govern themselves, as travel and communication between establishments is now much more dangerous than it used to be.
Speaking of danger, we are not sure who or what else shares this frequency, so if you start hearing another voice telling you to go outside into the technicolored mists, or suddenly feel like the Jade Mountains That Are Always On The Horizon are a great place to visit, actually, then make sure you stay indoors until you can get some incense to light. Offerings, prayers and other demonstrations of respect are also recommended.
Okay, now that the preliminaries are out of the way, let’s start with the tips on our agenda. Tip number one: don’t think of this as an apocalypse! I’ve been out in the Earth Kingdom recently, seeing all your The End is Now signs, and Repent for Your Next Life tunics, and I would just like to say that attitude is everything! Don’t think of this as an end, think of this as a new beginning, where you get to live in harmony with forces you previously thought didn’t exist.
Take me, for instance. Before I left my tribe, I never believed in spirits. But then I got kidnapped by one, and soon after that I met my first love that became a moon spirit. She was so cool. Sometimes I lie awake wondering what could have been if I had been born in the Northern Water Tribe instead of the Southern one. Do you guys ever do that? Lie awake and think about what the hundred year war took from you? Wonder if your first love is meant to last more than two days? Contemplate the nature of fate and tragedy that we can never escape from?
Anyways, what I’m saying is, don’t think of your world fundamentally changing as a bad thing. Sure, you may get kidnapped by a forest spirit, but you may also meet a girl who fundamentally changes you to the core in a few days before being taken from you by the Fire Nation. If you go forward with an open mind, you too may fall in love with a celestial body that hangs over your shoulder every night, always present but never quite there, unspeakably beautiful but not quite human.
Doesn’t that sound like more fun that proselytizing a doom you have no factual evidence of?
Okay. Tip number two: don’t attack the spirits. Now, I thought that not attacking the resident spirits of this land, recognizing that this was their home long before it was ours, and also knowing that being a strong farmer doesn’t mean you can fight a multi-limbed monkey was just common sense. BUT, apparently it’s hard to unlearn a hundred years of colonialism. In the last month we’ve had reports of two village governors who tried to drive some of the larger spirits out of their village, and it did not end well for them.
To the family and friends of the departed, who shall not be named, I’m sure they did a couple good things in their lives. Hopefully this encourages the survivors to do more, like leaving spirits alone in peace.
Look, let me be real with you all. I get that change is scary. Growing up as the only man left in my tribe, I internalized some unhealthy ideas and didn’t react well to change.
Sorry everyone, I’ve been advised by some of my listeners to clarify that by “man”, I meant teenager.
And by teenager, I meant that I was fourteen.
Are we done with the interruptions? Can I continue this very expensive broadcast that took the culmination of all four nations to pull off?
Sorry Teo, I'm not mad at you, babe, I promise. You know how I get when I don't get to say things that are important to me.
Anyways, this PSA goes out to anyone who was too dumb to listen to fairy tales. Don’t Attack Spirits.
I have just been informed by Teo that I can come off as judgmental. Let it be known that, yes, I am judging people who die from something they could have prevented.
Really, Teo? Who am I saying this for?
These are my personal opinions and do not reflect the opinions of the Human Coalition. Are you happy now? Can we move forward with the life saving information that we both agreed we should share?
Anyways, back to my opinions . On the village chiefs of certain villages who will remain unnamed. Actually, though, I can’t name them. As retribution for the unprovoked attacks, the spirits took the name of the villages and every resident who raised arms against them from our minds. All we can tell you is, stay away from those well-kept acres of land two miles off the Blood River Delta. And if you happen to find spirits disrupting your everyday life that you absolutely cannot have, try shooing them! Like spiders! That are healthy for the ecosystem! If spiders were as big as buildings and twice as venomous and could also trap you in its webs that can only be seen by spirits and Aang!
That’s all for today, everyone. We did have more lined up, but due to all the interruptions today, we couldn’t get to all of them. Not to worry, we’ll be back in the next couple of weeks with more news from places you could once visit, and tips on how to survive in this new and strange world. Goodnight, everyone. Goodnight.