Chapter Text
8 years. It had been 8 years since Stan felt his entire life fall to pieces. He wondered how he had made it through the past 8 years. 8 years with just him and his father. No one else. Stan had stopped talking to Kenny after high school began, and still hadn’t spoken to Cartman or Kyle since covid started.
Kyle
That name was brought up in his mind multiple times a day. Even after 8 years, Stan couldn’t stop thinking about his ex super best friend. After starting high school, Stan started to keep to himself, barely ever showing up to school and spending his days drinking his dad’s stolen whiskey in his room alone. Tweek and Craig had asked him to join their group once everyone had found out the 4 boys had went their separate ways, but Stan simply declined, thanking them for the offer. Even the goth kids had asked him if he wanted to join them again, but Stan declined them as well.
Tonight, after a very long argument with Randy about how it was the “eight year anniversary of you killing your sister and your mother”, Stan sat in the back of his apartment him and his father shared. After everything that had happened, Randy had bought a small two bedroom apartment, and constantly complained about it to his son. “We’d still be sitting pretty in that farm if you hadn’t have been so selfish.” Stan replayed those words in his head as he took a shot of stolen rum he had found in his dad’s bedroom. Randy never noticed either, which was a good thing. He was always too drunk to notice.
After about an hour, Stan was drunk enough where those thoughts didn’t get to him as much, but one thought played in his mind over and over.
I wonder what Kyle’s doing right now?
Stan checked his phone. 2am. Kyle was definitely sleeping at this point. Kyle was a frequent thought that played in his mind, especially when he was drunk. He constantly thought about texting the boy, asking how he was doing, but always chickened out at the last minute. It had been like that for the past 8 years. Although, tonight, something was different. Maybe it was the rum talking instead of his normal whiskey, but the blonde haired boy quickly stood up, and walked back into his house. He slowly walked past Randy, who was passed out on the couch with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Stan rolled his eyes, and turned off the blaring tv, before walking out of his front door.
Tap
Tap
Tap
Kyle stirs in his sleep, trying to ignore the faint tapping attempting to wake him.
Tap
Tap
Silence…..
Tap
Okay, fine, he’s awake. He rubs his eyes with his hands and sits upright. What the hell is that noise?? Kyle stands up, still half asleep, and grabs his glasses from his nightstand. He paces as he tries to track the noise’s wearabouts. He focuses his attention on the window, and sees a small pebble hit it gently.
Tap
Who could that possibly be?? Especially at this hour. No one ever woke him like this. The only person that ever did that was…..
And just like that, Kyle felt his stomach drop as he looked out his window.
“Stan?” He mumbled quietly, but loud enough where the boy could hear him from outside. “What are you doing here?” It came out much more nonchalant than he thought it would. Like the past 8 years never happened. There was silence for a moment. Kyle noticed the bleached blonde haired boy’s swaying motion and half closed eyes, and he rolled his eyes. “Are you drunk?” Still silence. Kyle groaned. “Alright. Hang on, I’m going to let you in through the front door. You’re way too drunk to climb up through the window.” He looked at the makeshift rope on the side of the house the two had made when they were young. Kyle was surprised his parents never noticed it, but he was glad they didn’t. That rope was responsible for so many sleepovers. So many memories. That’s why Kyle kept it there.
Kyle closed his window and quietly headed towards his bedroom door. He slowly turned the knob and snuck down the stairs. Once he realized he had made it, he quietly walked to his front door and opened it. He stood there for a minute, just staring at the person in front of him. Silence filled the room. Finally, he spoke “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.” They were both silent as Kyle grabbed Stan’s hand and led him up the steps.
As the two boys finally made it into Kyle’s room, Kyle felt relief to know he had successfully snuck Stan in without waking his family. Who knows what would’ve happened if Ike woke up and found him dragging a drunk Stan up the stairs at 2:30 in the morning after not talking to him for 8 years. Kyle walked the bleached blonde haired boy over to his bed, making sure he made it there safely before heading towards the door again. “Stay here. I’m going to get you some water and Aspirin. I’m sure you’ll need it.” More silence filled the room. Great. He comes here in the middle of the fucking night drunk as hell and goes mute. Wonderful.
When Kyle returned to his bedroom, he noticed Stan was still in the same spot he was in before, and still wasn’t talking. But, his facial expression was different. When Kyle had let him into the house, he noticed Stan showed very little emotion on his face. Now, the boy had a very guilty look, and Kyle swore he could see tears glazing over his eyes. He sighed, handing his ex best friend the glass of water. “Here. Please drink this.” Stan reached for the water, and nodded slightly. He slowly sipped the water and then set it down gently on the nightstand. Kyle sighed again and sat down next to him. For a moment, the two just sat there next to each other. Silence filled the room once more. Kyle was about to speak up when he felt himself being pulled closer to the boy next to him. Soon enough, Stan’s arms were wrapped around him and his head was in his chest. His body wracked with sobs, and the only thing Kyle could make out was “I’m sorry” over and over again.
“Hey, hey, dude, it’s alright. It’s okay.” Kyle spoke softly, wrapping his arms around Stan. He traced circles on the small of his back with his fingers, attempting to calm the other boy down. Kyle had imagined this moment so many times in the past years since everything happened. Well, not this exact situation, but reuniting with Stan. Sure, after covid happened, Kyle had met some really great new people who were in his honors courses at school, but no one would ever mean as much to him as Stan did.
The two sat like that for some time before Kyle reluctantly pulled away. His breath hitched when he saw the sadness in his the boy’s eyes next to him. Stan had dark lines under his eyes, and they were stained with tears. Kyle hesitantly brought his hand up to Stan’s cheek, wiping some tears away with his sleeve. Finally, Stan spoke up for the first time that night.
“Kyle, I’m so sorry. For..for everything. Today is the anniversary of Shelley dying, and after her and my mom died, I felt like I had no one. My dad is an alcoholic who blames me for what happened every chance he gets. I know it’s all my fault. I can’t stand to be around him anymore, and the worst part is I’m slowly turning into him more and more everyday.”
Stan took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes once again. He continued.
“A-and losing you…losing you was the worst part, because you were always there for me, and having to go through that alone made me realize how much of a burden I was on you. I put all of my problems on you when we were younger. I was so negative all the time, b-but you were always there for me. After all of this happened, I realized how much you meant to me. Not only as my friend, but as a person. You’re so genuine, and….and so sweet. You-you mean the world to me, dude”.
And just like that, Stan couldn’t hold it in any longer. He knew he reached his breaking point. He covered his face to try to stop the tears from flowing down his face, and his body began to shake.
“I-I just miss you so much, dude. P-please don’t hate me”
Kyle felt a pang in his chest as he quickly ran over to the other boy, and wrapped his arms around him once more.
“Stan, I promise I don’t hate you. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault that your sister was in the barn. It wasn’t your fault we all stopped being friends. Me and Cartman were just as at fault as you were. I’m sorry about everything, and I’m here for you, dude.”
After a couple minutes, Stan’s sobs slowed down and the two had moved to cuddling against each other in Kyle’s bed.
“Stan?” Kyle mumbled softly, noticing Stan’s breathing was slow and steady against him.
“Hm?”
“Did you really mean what you said?”
This woke Stan up out of his almost slumber.
“About what?” He stared up at the ginger boy next to him.
“About me meaning the world to you?”
Silence. Once again.
Stan unwrapped himself from Kyle’s grasp and sat up, staring his ex best friend right in the eyes. He had a light blush across his face, and he scratched the back of his neck nervously.
“Uh, yeah. Kyle, you were my best friend. I felt like I could be myself around you, and I don’t feel that way about many other people. Even if we were in a fight, we would find each other again one way or another, well, obviously until now. You’ve were there for me more than anyone ever was, even my own family, and…I love you, dude.”
Stan realized that last part had slipped out, but didn’t feel any regret for saying it. He had realized all too long ago that he had feelings for his ex best friend. It was after he had seen Kyle hanging out with Tolkien in the 4th grade. Of course, he was with Wendy at the time, so he pretended to not have realized that fact about himself. By the time he couldn’t fight it any longer, covid had happened and everything had fallen apart.
Kyle stood there for a minute, just staring at Stan. Stan felt his heart drop. Normally, he could read Kyle like a book, and knew everything he was thinking. This time, the ginger boy sat there with a blank expression on his face. Stan was about to apologize and see himself out before he noticed Kyle slowly lean in closer to him, and Stan could now feel Kyle’s breath against his lips. Kyle brought a hand up to his hair, moving a chunk of blonde hair behind Stan’s ear. There was a moment of silence before Kyle whispered softly
“Stan…can-can I kiss you?”
“Yes…please”
As soon as he answered, their lips brushed together. It started off soft, both boys being very cautious of this new-found affection, especially after not speaking for 8 years, before quickly escalating the kiss. Their lips moved in sync, and their bodies matched up like the perfect puzzle piece. Stan’s tongue begged for entrance, and Kyle was more than happy to let him in. Kyle rearranged himself so that he was straddling the other boy, and kept his hands through his bleach blonde hair. Stan pulled away for a minute to plant little kisses down the ginger boy’s neck, and back up to his jaw, drawing a small whine from Kyle. Stan kissed him hard again, shutting him up.
Realization hit Kyle hard, and as soon as it did, he pushed the bleached blonde haired boy away from him. Breathless, he stood up and stepped away slowly.
“Stan….”
Kyle’s eyes widened as he realized what he had done. He watched Stan sit up, slightly confused at the sudden reaction.
“Kyle I-“
“Stan….I-I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I think you should go. Like..now”
Stan stood there for a moment, before nodding and walking towards Kyle’s bedroom door. He took one last look at his old friend, hoping for a second Kyle would change his mind, and let him explore this affection between the two of them again, but Kyle just sat there, eyes to the floor. After a second, Stan stepped out of the room and quickly out of the house.
Kyle sat there, now in complete isolation, and touched his now swollen lips. He didn’t feel regretful of his choice, but quickly felt regret for kicking the other boy out. Kyle did love Stan, more than just a ‘super best friend’ way, but did Stan really feel that way about him, or was he just drunk? Kyle suddenly felt guilty for taking advantage of his ex best friend like that. Stan probably won’t even remember any of this in the morning. What if he didn’t get home safe? What if he didn’t go home tonight? Kyle face planted into his pillow, groaning into it quietly. He needed to talk to Stan about this, whether he liked it or not.