Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a perfectly ordinary day in the Kingdom of Sorcier as Katarina Claes burst into the Student Council room without knocking.

“Maria!” she exclaimed excitedly as everyone looked up, smiling as the person they’d been waiting for finally arrived. “Guess what I found!”

Maria Campbell smiled happily, ignoring the not-so-subtle envious looks from most of the people in the room at having Katarina’s attention. “Did you find some food lying on the ground, Lady Katarina? You know you’re not supposed to eat those.”

“Better!” Katarina said happily, then paused. “Well, almost as good.”

“Sister, stop eating food you find on the ground!” an exasperated Keith sighed.

Katarina, of course, ignored that. “I found a book, and the heroine has the same name as you!” she said relentlessly, showing the cover of the very, very, very, very, very thick book. “See? ‘Maria Campbell of the Astral Clocktower’!” The book did, in fact say that. “Do you want to read it together and find out what it’s about?”

“I’d love to, Lady Katarina… but we still have to finish the student council paperwork for today,” Maria said apologetically.

Katarina wilted slightly… and then perked up as an idea came to her. “Oh, all you have to do is sign stuff, right?” she said.

“Yes, Lady Katarina, but it’s still a lot to go through.”

“Then how about this,” Katarina proposed with the air of a child revealing her revolutionary idea to have dessert before dinner. “I’ll read the story to you all while you work so that you don’t get bored?”

It was a bad idea on so many levels. Some of the papers needed to be read before being signed, after all. Others needed to be sorted. A few needed a response written. Really, it would be terribly distracting all around.

“That’s a great idea, Lady Katarina!” Sophia exclaimed. Fuck the paperwork, Lady Katarina was going to read to her!

“Sister…” Keith sighed, but knew there’d be no convincing his sister not to do this.

“Working while listening to my dear Katarina’s wonderful voice? I cannot think of anything better,” the Student Council president and Third Prince of Sorcier said.

“For once I actually agree,” Mary said, shaking of the unnatural and disgusting feeling of being in agreement with the Third Prince by thinking of— “I’m sure your voice will be just the thing to soothe the agonizing ache in my hand, Lady Katarina!”

“Isn’t that going to be distracting?” Prince Alan sighed. “We have work to do.”

“Oh, come on Alan, it’s only the first week of the first semester,” Mary said. “There’s barely any work to do. You know the serious work doesn’t really get started until at least a month has passed. We can afford to take it easy and listen to Lady Katarina serenade us with a story!”

“All right then!” Katarina said, going to her usual chair and opening her book to the first page. “Let’s see. ‘Maria remembered…’…”

Maria remembered the day after her father left. She had awakened from strange dreams of blood and death to find that, in her sleep, she had unlocked the memories of her past life.

For the rest of the month, she had nightmares.

Such was the inauspicious beginning of the rebirth of Hunter Lady Maria, once of Cainhurst, formerly of the Healing Church.

Everyone stared.

“That… doesn’t sound like a happy book…” Mary said.

“Oooh, interesting high concept right from the start!” Sophia exclaimed. “So, the hero was a hunter who was also a lady in her past, and worked for some kind of church? It’s a great hook! Really makes me want to know more! There aren’t a lot of books where the character remembers her past life.”

“Eh?” Katarina said. “But they’re really common, though? They’re practically everywhere…”

“What, really Lady Katarina? Can you show them to me next time we buy books?”

“We’re supposed to be doing paperwork while listening, remember?” Alan reminded them.

When the nightmares of memory passed, no one noticed any significant change. After all, what was there to notice? She was still the noble bastard Maria Campbell, who had been born with Light magic from her mother having had a dalliance with some passing noble. The young Maria who lived a life of love with both parents had refused to believe it. Her mother loved her father! She would never do such a thing!

The reborn Maria remembered the practices of Cainhurst and reflected that her mother might not have had any choice in the matter. She was fortunate to have been allowed to live.

They drifted apart. It was to be expected. Hazy as her memories were, as if through a veil of dreams and nightmare, they were the lifetime of a grown woman. The cursed blood that flowed strongly in her veins had let her live long, while retaining her youth, and those decades all the way up to her death and her death had all but swept away her second childhood. The rumors and insinuations of the peasants– other peasants– were beneath her.

She said so to her new mother, but the woman only flinched, unable to look upon her, and eventually Maria let it go. They lived as two strangers within the same house, doing their share of the work and related by blood but not really together. In truth, it was in these moments of simple chores that she was able to lose herself in her new life. She was just Maria Campbell doing her chores. It was hard work, but it was a good hardness, of honest labor and clean work and no one was hurt, nothing was defiled.

Carrying only guilt from a life already past, Maria found a semblance of peace.

Katarina stopped reading, staring at the words. “Wow, this is really dark. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Indeed, Maria had started to look more and more mortified with every word. She wondered if this was some kind of cruel joke… but as she looked around the room, no one was laughing. In fact they all seemed surprised at the almost obscene bluntness of it.

“Lady Katarina, can you tell us who the author is?” the Third Prince said with the deceptively calm tone that he only got when he was truly furious. “I believe a strongly worded letter is in order.”

Katarina checked the front of the book, looking at the cover. Then she opened the cover and looked at one of the inside pages. Then she flipped to the end. “Huh. I can’t find a name. That’s weird.”

“Sister, where did you buy that book?” Keith said, smiling in that way he usually did when the Third Prince was interfering with him spending time with his sister.

“Oh, I didn’t buy it,” Katarina explained happily. “It fell on my head while I was working on my fields!”

“…”

Suspicious… was the collective thought of everyone not named Katarina Claes.

“It sounds like a bad prank,” a scowling Mary said. “Maybe someone threw it at you—" she barely managed to get the thought out through gritted teeth, “—in hopes you’d read it and those hateful things would reach Maria?”

Katarina titled her head, looking thoughtful. Fortunately, no brains dribbled out her ear. “No, I don’t think so… I don’t think anyone would do something bad like that! Maybe… maybe it’s a sad start and Maria gets happier as the story goes on?”

Despite his frown, Keith hummed thoughtfully. “That… could be it,” he said reluctantly. “After all, it’s not like Maria’s circumstances is common knowledge. Maybe…” He tried to think like his sister, seeing the best in people. “Maybe this is a book about how Maria’s life has gotten better, and they got that twisted backstory from doing interviews with people from Maria’s village? Those girls were telling us all those horrible rumors, and if it’s the only thing the writer had to go on… well, I could see how this could be what resulted.”

“They didn’t do a very good job,” Maria found herself saying. “My father is still alive.”

Katarina and Keith blinked. “EH?!” Katarina exclaimed. “But… then why wasn’t he there when Keith and I visited?”

“Because he’d rather spend his time drinking in broad daylight and sleeping on the streets and barns,” Maria said bitterly.

Katarina immediately got up and rushed to give her friend a hug. “That’s terrible!” she said. “Why would…? I’m sorry, Maria. Maybe this is a bad idea after all. I just… I saw the name and thought you might enjoy a story about someone with the same name as you.”

Despite the situation, Maria found herself smiling at the concern. “Well… it did seem fun when you suggested it, Lady Katarina…” she admitted. “M-maybe… maybe you can read a little more? Perhaps Lord Keith is right, and this is just a sad beginning before the happy ending.”

“Well… if you’re sure…”

Still, there was some reluctance as Katarina picked up the book again, now looking at it suspiciously as if it would try to hurt her friend again

The Academy was little like Byrgenwerth. For one, it was more a place of teaching than learning. The young, naïve nobles who attended did not possess the single-minded focus of the Choir of the Healing Church, nor the cautious eagerness of the few scholars of the lakeside college that she had used to visit with Master Willem. They had come to learn. Or rather, to be informed of things already known, and tested on their ability to retain this knowledge after a year's time.

Try as she might, Maria found no locked doors, no smell of blood, of bile, of seawater, or the strange scent of moonlight. There were no suspicious disappearances of students, no jars of eyeballs in any of the lecture halls or libraries. There was only the rustle of books, the scratching of pens, and pretentious children playing at being their betters.

“Naïve?” Keith repeated.

“Pretentious?” Mary said.

“So, it seems it’s not only Maria they paint darkly,” the Third Prince mused. “This might be less of a straightforward story and more of a satire or parody.”

“What’s the difference,” Keith asked.

“In one, the writer isn’t as clever as he thinks he is,” Alan said. “In the other, he is as clever as he thinks he is. In both cases, he’s trying to make a point.”

Maria ignored the whispers and not-quite-under-their-breath-enough remarks as she dutifully applied herself to her studies, of how she thought herself above them, of her mannish trousers that she preferred to skirts, of her not belonging in this place. She had never belonged. Not in Cainhurst. Not among the Hunters. Not at the Choir. Why should this place be any different?

The arcane arts taught did not rely on blood in any measure, nor upon the strange runes whose providence she had never properly learned. She had eventually gotten used to how her blood, now so thin and wan, would dry strangely after just a brief exposure to air. There was no sweetness when she tasted it, whether the blood was hers or another's. Magic was a thing inherited like the color of one's eyes or hair, not of insight gained by strange experiments or deciphered from ancient lore found in buried crypts. Talk of the supremacy of blood was figurative instead of literal.

Others might disagree, but they lacked the proper knowledge to know the difference.

Eventually, the strange meritocracy of the Academy bestowed upon her a place in the so-called student council in recognition of her efforts. She had no objection to the other admitted members of the council allowing their friend to enter the council's chambers. They seemed set on it, and united in their opinion. There was no point in opposing them for no reason. If they wished to play at politics and privilege, then so be it.

The Lady Claes was pleasant enough, and reasonably well-behaved compared to some of her peers, despite how much she distracted the other members of the council. Maria resolved to be polite and simply ignore her.

“Wow…” Sophia said. “I can’t tell if the story is trying to make Maria look good or bad, but I think the Third Prince is right. This might be a shallow parody, since this is probably what you’d get if someone just saw Maria from outside.”

“Eh? But doesn’t that mean whoever wrote this worked hard to try and write the best Maria he could from watching her?” Katarina said. “That sounds like hard work. Wouldn’t it be easier to just make stuff up?”

They all considered that perspective.

“And now I’m back to not being able to tell if they’re writing maliciously or with genuine good intentions but limited information,” the Third Prince sighed.

“So… keep reading then?” Katarina asked.

Why was Lady Claes seemingly obsessed with Maria's non-existent love life? Was this some kind of dominance play, showing off her many lovers in comparison to Maria's? No, she kept asking if one of her lovers had garnered Maria's notice. Was she… a pimp?

Maria burst out laughing, interrupting Katarina’s reading.

“S-sorry!” Maria managed to get out between laughs as everyone stared at her. She wiped the sudden tears in her eyes. “It’s just… I remember Lady Katarina asking me those kinds of questions last year, and I remember being confused why she was asking me those things too. But—” she let out a giggle, quickly stifled. “But the thought that Lady Katarina was asking me because she was trying to—” Maria let out a few more self-conscious laughs.

Alan suddenly snickered. “I suppose I can see why the book might come to that conclusion,” he said. “After all, doesn’t Katarina have a bunch of hoes?”

The Third Prince made a choking noise as he turned his face away to the side, his shoulders shaking. Sophia started laughing as well as Mary let out a guffaw that she immediately looked scandalized about. Only Keith managed not to laugh, but his lips were twisted into a little smirk.

“Eh?” Katarina said, looking confused. “What about my hoes?”

When she got no answer but more laughter, she shrugged and went back to reading

What sort of hold did she have on not one, but two princes' of this realm that she could offer them to Maria? Maria pretended ignorance, deflecting or distracting as needed. Thankfully, Lady Claes was easily distracted.

Still, the distractions never lasted long. While the two did not even so much as exchange nods in the hallways, in the student council room, unless one of her harem distracted her, she would always eventually turn her attentions to Maria.

Wait… was she perhaps trying to add Maria as a lover, using her hypothetical interest in one of the men as some sort of lure? Were blonde lovers perhaps some sort of status symbol? Though Lady Claes already had the third prince. Perhaps she desired a matched set?

Maria resolved to avoid the young woman for the time being. She had no desire to be some noble's plaything.

“Hey!” Katarina exclaimed, interrupting herself as everyone in the student council avoided each other’s eyes. “Now that’s just wrong! Why does the story say I have a harem? And I wasn’t trying to do that with Maria, I was just trying to be friends!”

“W-well, you know how some people can be, Lady Katarina,” Mary said, staring intently at the table. “They start the weirdest rumors just from seeing two people talking.”

“Ugh. Shippers are the worst,” Katarina muttered. For some reason, Sophia sneezed.

Alan blinked. “What does sea trade have to do with anything?”

Some nobles attempted to accost her at lunch. Maria dealt with them, finished her food and filed a report as a member of the student council. While their elements were better suited towards martial use, unlike her Light magic, they apparently did not expect her to fight back. Perhaps they were used to peasants allowing themselves to be used for a noble's enjoyment? Maria did not know. Regardless, they were obviously unpracticed in the martial use of their own ability, unable to react in time when Maria threw the last piece of her midday meal's bread in their face to stun them and struck out with her gathered strength, as all hunters learned to do. Fortunately, she was unarmed and holding back, thus the fist that could have torn through flesh, broken bone and slain a beast in one strike merely knocked the wind out of them and left them bruised inside and out.

Fortunately, Lord Claes was passing by at the time, and she was able to ask him to watch them in case she'd broken a rib while Maria went back to the student council room to file a report.

Maria resisted the urge to lick the blood on her torn knuckles. It would be thin and lifeless, she knew.

“Huh,” Katarina said. “That’s kind of a creepy way to end the first chapter.”

“I still can’t tell if it’s being malicious or well-intended but misinformed,” the Third Prince said. “On the one hand, Maria isn’t the type for violence, but I can see someone might be prejudiced to think that about commoners. On the other hand, the story frames it as self-defense. And it’s clear the author has just as many unflattering opinions of the nobility as they do about commoners.”

“And it’s kinda clear that whatever a ‘hunter’ is, Maria’s previous life was a really violent person,” Sophia added critically. “It sounds like a very dark setting from the little tidbits we’ve been getting.”

“So… is it a happy book or a mean book?” Katarina asked.

“If you’re not going to read it to maria anymore, can I borrow it, Lady Katarina?” Sophia asked. “I’m kind of curious about what happens next!”

“Um…” Maria looked a little embarrassed. “So am I, a little. I mean…” She fell silent.

“You’ve sometimes imagined being strong enough to beat up your bullies, haven’t you?” Mary said bluntly.

Maria blushed further.

Sophia reached over and patted the blonde reassuringly on the shoulder. “I understand completely,” she said, and she did.

Chapter Text

Katarina continued reading.

Maria had returned home for the summer break to see to her mother. Distant as they were, she was cognizant of her obligation to check on the other woman. They were blood after all, thin and weak as that blood was.

What she had not expected was to find Lady Claes and her brother in her home speaking with her mother when she returned with groceries.

"Oh, I think this next chapter is about when Keith and I visited your house, Maria!" Katarina exclaimed.

Keith blinked. "What, already? It's literally the start of the second chapter. Whoever wrote this needs to pace himself better."

"Or herself," Sophia interjected.

"Does the gender of the writer really matter?" Mary said. "Also, anyone notice the strange focus on blood?"

"It is a little disturbing," Maria agreed.

Lord Claes, at least, had the decency to look awkward, clearly uncomfortable being there, but Lady Claes merely smiled and she somehow got the subject turned around to helping set up their vegetable patch. Clearly it was just a pretext to leave the area while her brother imposed himself on one or even both of them– blood was not the only hedonistic indulgence at Cainhurst, merely the preferred– but to her surprise Lord Claes proceeded to apologize for her sister's behavior. Strange. Was her control of her harem not as absolute as Maria had thought?

Katarina sighed. "Why does this book keep saying I have a harem? That's just wrong. And kind of silly, really."

Everyone looked away, coughing self-consciously.

"W-well, clearly the Maria in the story has a few screws loose," Mary said. "I mean, she outright calls blood a 'hedonistic indulgence'. A preferred one, at that."

"You hear stories about nobles like that," Keith said.

"Usually from La Sable," the Third Prince agreed.

Eventually Lord Claes managed to get his sister back into their carriage, with hurried but apparently sincere well wishes and something about not wishing to impose on the Campbells for dinner. That was… surprisingly thoughtful of them. It would certainly be difficult if they had to prepare supper for twice the planned number of people, possibly more. She had heard rumors of the amount of food Lady Claes could put away.

"Hey, I'm a growing girl!" Katarina protested at the book.

"You do count as two people when planning a meal, sister," Keith pointed out.

Still, Maria had to wonder. Why had the two of them been in the area? As far as she knew, the Duke of Claes' holdings were far from this here. While Lady Claes was a known eccentric– and even she was willing to admit that was just rich-noble talk for 'blood-addled crazy', if of the non-violent sort– sure they didn't really come all the way here just too look at agricultural fields? The Duchy of Claes surely had peasant tenants much closer to home, did they not?

A thought struck Maria, and she paused in her food preparation slightly to glance sideways at her mother, who was tending to the stove. To her knowledge, her mother was one of the few blonde women in town, and the only one without close neighbors. Try as she might, Maria had never been able to decipher to her satisfaction whose bastard she was. Could it be…?

How perverse, yet not completely unexpected of nobility. Had Keith's father passed down his secret mistress to his son? Or, more likely, his daughter, considering Katarina Claes's known appetites for the beautiful. Perhaps it had been a reward of some sort, some sort of twisted reward for her political accomplishments at school. Or possibly even something as simple as passing her academics. It would not surprise Maria to learn that Lady Claes' parents had encouraged her not to bring public shame upon the family by rewarding her their secret shame.

Katarina blinked. "Wait… does book-Maria think dad is her father? Dad? My dad?"

"Uh, it sounds like it…" Keith said, staring. "And accusing me of secretly keeping her as my mistress too…" And Katarina's too, he didn't say out loud

"Wow…" Sophia said. "Book-Maria has a really dirty mind, doesn't she?"

Maria had buried her face in her hands as Katarina continued reading, and she didn't know if it was at the sordidness of the narration or second-hand embarrassment at the wild conclusions her book-equivalent were leaping to.

Mary turned to the Third Prince. "So, what do you think? Because it's starting to sound like some strange 'long-lost siblings' farce to me."

"That depends on how in line with reality the conclusions the book-Maria came to are," the Third Prince said. "If they're correct, then it's that kind of farce. If they're not… well, it still sounds farcical to me either way."

"So, no one's going to go back to doing their paperwork?" Alan said blandly. "Just me, then?"

She eyed her mother's hips. Was there any stiffness there? Should she expect a new sibling within the year? After all, who knew how long the three of them had been alone before she arrived. Well, at least they had probably not done their debauchery in the kitchen. It did not smell of blood and phantasm slime.

…

Unless they had done their debauchery out in the vegetable patch, and Lady Claes had left to hide the evidence while her brother kept her distracted…

Maria shuddered slightly. A mature mind or not, thinking of her mother doing such things with the Claes siblings was mildly disturbing and made her wish for a quick sip of sedative to spare her mind these dark and unknowable truths.

Wait… does this mean that she was their half sibling? Earth magic ran in their blood, true, but it has always been said her Light magic was a rare gift. Had they tried to draw her into their web of deviance, knowing full well they shared the blood dregs of their father? Surely even the nobility of this land were not so perverted.

She thought of what she knew of Lady Claes and her many lovers.

…

Perhaps she should rethink carrying about a dagger at the academy. It seemed likely Katarina Claes' lust was not satiable.

"And Maria officially thinks she and Katarina are half-sisters," Mary said blandly. "The jumps of conclusion are managing great distance, I see."

Strangely, Katarina's face was serious as she put down the book for a moment and turned towards her brother. "Keith," she said.

"Yes, sister?"

She held up a finger, the way mother did when there was a serious scolding going on. "I want you to promise me you will never, ever do debauchery on a vegetable patch," she said. "You'll ruin a lot of hard work by whoever is tending to the vegetables. And you'll get dirt on yourself. So don't do it. Understood?"

"Uh, yes, sister."

Katarina nodded in satisfaction as she turned back to the book. "Good. If you want to have sex with someone outside, it's best to do it on grass. Much softer, and nothing gets ruined. Now, where were we…"

She was completely oblivious to the horrified stares being directed at her.

With the decision to carry a dagger came the necessary training. She had thought that she could simply take up a weapon and wield it as she had before. However, she had found that while her mind and spirit knew the movements, her body did not. And so she had to retrain her muscle memory, familiarizing herself with the movements of a small blade. In the early mornings, she left her dormitory, found a place in school grounds behind the dormitory building, and drilled the movements back into her muscle. Growing up as a peasant had forced hard muscles upon her, harder than they had been when she'd been the same age in her old life. She moved with care, however, eschewing to relearn the movements that would have her smoothly break her own skin to pour her blood on the blade, and with it catalyze the blood arts she had learned. They were better left buried.

"Wait, so in her old life, she used her blood to do magic?" Sophia interrupted.

"Well, I suppose that's some explanation for her blood fixation," Mary said.

"And practicing her muscle memory is probably the most sensible idea she's had the whole story," Alan said, giving his twin brother a sideways glance. "After all, not everyone can just pick up something and do it perfectly on the first try."

"Alan, shouldn't you be doing Student Council work?"

"That's my line!"

One morning, as she was finishing her drills and turning back to have a quick wash before she walked to school for that day's classes, she heard a soft yet distinct sound upon the air. Curious, she turned towards it, wondering who else were honing their skill so early. Some of the male students had been taught the way of the sword, and might even be regarded as skilled, but those so inclined to continue honing their skills did so at the grounds of the school specifically set aside for it. There was no need to do so in the early morning unless they were very dedicated or…

Well. Maria was practicing in the morning.

And so, apparently, was Katarina Claes.

"Ooh, is book-Maria finally going to fall in love with Lady Katarina?" Sophia said, leaning forward eagerly.

Katarina blinked. "Eh? Why would that happen?"

"Because it's two girls in private, and one is looking at the other while the second one doesn't know! That's a classic falling-in-love scene, like in Legend of Calamity, where Princess Phami sees little Princess Dazzel for the first time!"

Katarina let out a put-upon-sigh. "Sophia, the romance in Legend of Calamity is between Princess Dazzel and Sir Rechts. It's like the whole point of the book."

"Subtext, Lady Katarina, subtext!"

She was clad in mannish trousers not dissimilar to what Maria was wearing, if a bit better cut. Unlike what Maria would have imagined had she been told the noble practiced the sword– energetic, overextended, fast but weak, with atrocious footwork– Katarina moved with precise, practiced moves, each repetition smooth and sure. Her footwork never wavered, stepping just so and keeping her herself properly centered at all times. There was no wild flailing of a complete amateur, no pointless energetics of a beginner, only the dull, repetitive movements of someone who actually knew what they were doing and had at least mastered the basics.

Maria watched, astonished, as Katarina Claes practiced something she could not in good conscience find fault in: a self-discipline that she had previously though the duke's daughter did not possess, as it had been seemingly absent from every other part of how she had comported herself. Her blue eyes were dull and empty in the way only completely losing yourself to the boring repetition of what you were doing could achieve, and she did not even notice the sweat that glistened on her face.

Maria watched, as unobtrusive as if she had downed one of the Choir's strange blue elixirs until Lady Claes' maid interrupted and drew her lady's attention to the time, so that they could return to the dormitories to refresh themselves. Maria found herself breathing with a curious heaviness as she loosened her collar slightly. She hurried back to her own dorms, her feet knowing the way even as her mind's eyes saw little but for the smooth, repetitive movements of Lady Claes' practice blade, her sure, taut muscles, the way her bosom did not heave with each breath but remained firm and in control…

"Hah ha!" Sophia crowed. "I was right! Just look at the narration! Plus it mentions heaving b—heaving, so obviously book-Maria was looking there!"

Maria had buried her face in her hands again at the descriptions of the scene, blushing in embarrassment. "Um, perhaps she was simply impressed by how good Lady Katarina was with a sword?" she suggested, and knew no one but Lady Katarina would believe it. Though… "Actually, do you practice with your sword in the morning, Lady Katarina?"

"Oh, not anymore," Katarina said. "I don't have to worry about that flag anymore. Now I have all the time to go tend to my fields!"

"Eh? What do flags have to do with anything?"

Maria considered. Her possible half-sister was apparently more dangerous than she appeared. While Lady Maria would willingly test herself against anyone, beast or hunter, with but a dagger in her hand, that was in a body filled with the thick, cursed blood of Cainhurst, strengthened by the echoes of those who had fallen to her blade and those devoured from coldblood. In this body, strong but untrained, unblooded, with only thin blood running in its veins, she would not like her chances against even a moderately skilled swordsman if all she had was a dagger.

There was no helping it. Even as she retrained her body, she would need to acquire some sort of sword for herself, even one merely made of wood. It would not be her lost Rakuyo, but she would need to be at her best to protect her virtue, such as it was, from the Lady Claes should she ever decide to press her suit with a blade in her hand…

"Eh?" Katarina said. "Why would I press a suit using a blade? I'm pretty sure that's not how you press suits. Keith, don't the maids use an iron on your suits?"

"Yes they do, sister," Keith said, nodding encouragingly. Inside, he twitched at the narration's allegation that his sister would assault anyone in some manner! When she did that, it was usually an accident!

"Ah, so somehow the blood of Cainhurst is cursed," Mary said, nodding. "Which is probably why it's used in magic. And… it sounds like the way to make the blood stronger is killing people. That fits the dark beginning of the previous chapter. And this 'Rakuyo' is probably important too, probably the name of her personal sword in her past life."

"They're already sounding like the worst sorts of nobles," the Third Prince agreed. "Though that begs the question of whether the Maria of this story is a typical or atypical Cainhurst noble."

"That's what you're focusing on?" Sophia said.

"The past life of this Maria is clearly informing her conclusions, so I'm trying to figure it out," Mary said.

"And I'm trying to figure out how it stands as parody or satire," the Third Prince said. "Though it looks like I might need to add 'farce' to that list. As to whether it's malicious or well-meaning, it's still fairly uncertain. The target of insult seems to shift wildly, and if this is meant as farce, it would explain the shallow and occasionally unpleasant characterization."

"It's clearly some weird romance," Sophia said. "That's perfectly clear!"

Chapter Text

"Er, Maria? Do you want me to stop reading?" Katarina asked. "It… doesn't look like you're liking the book."

Maria finally looked up from where she'd buried her face in her hands. "It's just… it's really embarrassing hearing about the things the me in the book is thinking, Lady Katarina."

"Ah, I see what your problem is," Sophia said, nodding knowingly. "Maria, the things happening in the book isn't real. It's just a story. So it's not you, it's just the character in the book named Maria. If it helps, why don't you point out all the stupid and embarrassing things book-Maria does? All the things you'd never do, and why? That way, you'll feel less like it's you in the book, because they're clearly nothing like you!"

Maria frowned. "That… sounds mean."

"Well, look at it this way," the Third Prince said. "If the book was written to mock you, then it deserves you mocking it right back."

She blinked. "Oh…" Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the book, because Maria was far too nice to glare. "Well, when you put it that way… I can try."

"Are you sure, Maria?" Katarina said. "I could just stop reading this if it makes you feel bad."

Maria shook her head. "No, Lady Sophia is right, Lady Katarina. It's not me, so I shouldn't feel bad."

"Well… all right. We'll try one more chapter. But if it looks like you're not enjoying it, we'll stop, okay?"

A nod. "All right, Lady Katarina."

Hesitantly, Katarina continued reading.

While Lady Maria had never delved into the ancient Pthumerian ruins, she had read of the forays into it by long-gone knights of Cainhurst in the library of castle, and more recently from reports from Byrgenwerth and eventually the Healing Church, speaking of the strange parasites, living dead, beasts and other beings that dwelled in its depths. They spoke of those who had been driven to frenzy by the things learned there, sometimes by the mere sight of new rooms.

As Maria Campbell double-checked her long dagger concealed in her sleeve and the long length of oak she held like a walking stick, preparing herself for the Academy's practical exam to delve into the ancient tomb of a sorcerer, she wondered what the Academy's attrition rate of madness was. She fully expected to come out of this with some of her classmates talking about how eyes in their brain were writhing or that the moon was talking to them or that some huge spidery monster was looming perched on the roof of the library.

"Wait, they're going into a tomb? Why?" Keith exclaimed.

"Keith, weren't you playing attention? It said so right there, it's for the Academy's practical exam," the Third Prince.

"What kind of practical exam requires going into a tomb? What does that even have to do with learning about magic? You'd think a practical exam would involve feats of magic of some sort."

"There are those names again," Mary said. "Cainhurst and the Healing Church. Presumably, Cainhurst is the region or kingdom that book Maria came from in her past life, and… the Healing Church is the organization she joined at some point."

"She seems very gullible, if she believes that things like the living dead exist," Maria said.

"Good first start, Maria!" Sophia encouraged.

"Why is she expecting this exam to drive people insane?" Alan said. "That's… an awfully specific thing to think will happen."

"Alan, shouldn't you be working?"

"Oh, shut up!"

The ruins were vaguely pyramidal. Blocks had been dislodged by growing flora and whatever structure had been built at its peak in place of a capstone had long collapsed. It did not look ancient so much as ill-maintained. Everyone was for once wearing uniform clothing provided by the Academy, probably so no one would need to have their fine clothes ruined. The uniforms themselves were nonetheless very fine themselves, with braid and golden trim and a broach at the neck. It would have made a fine garb for some new hunter to hunter their first beast or two before they were messily disemboweled. A pity she was required to wear a largely ornamental skirt.

Thankfully, they had been allowed to carry tools into the exam, once they had been inspected for hidden maps and other dishonest guides. While many had not outfitted themselves, seemingly confident in their magic, Lady Claes was carrying a satchel over her should in addition to the belt pouches that came with the uniform. It probably contained tools to compensate for her allegedly weak Earth magic. Maria herself was equipped with a small, portable hand lantern that hung from her belt since, ironically, Light Magic was actually useless for producing light by which to see. She had also wrapped a bandage around one eye to begin acclimating it to darkness, as well as her own satchel containing rope, wax, spare fuel for her lantern, and other things that had bewildered their teachers but had been allowed.

"Wait, is that true?" Sophia asked, looking at Maria.

"Is what true?" the blonde asked.

"Does Light Magic not actually make light?"

"Oh!" Maria said in realization. "Well, it's complicated. When I'm doing magic, I see a glow, but… no one else seems to see it? So… I suppose it… doesn't? Not visible light, at least."

"Huh…" Katarina said thoughtfully. "Why did people start calling it 'Light Magic' then? Why not 'Healing Magic'?"

"Put that way, it doesn't make sense, does it?" Keith said thoughtfully.

Everyone agreed. Calling it Light Magic didn't really make sense if it didn't actually make light.

Random selection had placed her in an 'exploration team' with Prince Alan Stuart, the fourth prince, and his fiancé, Lady Mary Hunt. Had Maria been superstitious, she'd have called it sign. But then, if she'd been superstitious, she'd had worn a belt on her right leg and been clad in brass armor to protect herself from the beastly scourge.

"Huh? I've never heard of those superstitions," Katarina said.

"Perhaps it's something from her previous life," Mary suggested.

The two eyed her awkwardly. They were not especially close, despite their being part of the student council. And while their mistress was clearly intent on adding Maria to her harem, Maria had observed that they all vied jealously for her attention. Her harem clearly did not want her time divided by one more way, but were equally unable to speak out against her intentions. Maria made do with a polite greeting, no different than if it was just another day working at the student council. Prince Alan gave her his usual frown, which meant he was in what was for him a fair mood, and Lady Hunt returned her greeting with a perfect, bland pleasantry, followed by the usual look of suspicion. Of all Lady Claes' harem, Lady Mary was the most possessive, eclipsing the third prince and Lady Claes own brother. Maria pegged her as the one most likely to permanently eliminate her fellow lovers in a bid to monopolize Lady Claes' time.

Katarina sighed. "Ugh, this again? Why does the book think I have a harem? That's totally wrong, and kinda silly if you think about it. And those were very mean things to say about Mary!"

"Absolutely wrong," Keith mumbled, suddenly staring out the window.

"Very silly," the Third Prince agreed, looking at his pen interestedly.

"This writer is a terrible gossip, thinking that just because a group of people are together a lot…" Sophia mumbled.

Maria resulotely stayd silent, her face once more in her hands and blushing red again.

"I would never do such a thing," Mary said with a perfectly innocent face, and the four of them, even Maria, turned to give her blank looks all screaming 'LIAR!'.

"W-why does the book say a frown is my usual expression?" Alan protested. "I'm a very pleasant and happy person!"

"Yeah!" Katarina agreed. "Alan is nothing like this at all!"

"'Maybe it's characterization!" Sophia suggested quickly. "This Maria seems stand-offish, so it's no wonder other people wouldn't be very warm towards her."

Katarina frowned. "That's… kinda sad, really."

And what were they supposed to say to that?

Eventually they stepped away to bask in their mistress's presence one last time before they were separated by the exam, while Maria wondered if she should have some sort of head covering. The uniform was good and all, but it felt incomplete without a head-covering. Perhaps a hat of some sort. She missed her old hat, lost a nightmare and a lifetime ago…

---

As it turned out, Maria had no need for her lantern. The so-called 'ancient ruin', its dressed stone halls as clean as if it had recently seen an army of servants rid it of every speck of dust, were brightly lit by a regular series of candles on both sides of the hall, their lights intersecting such that, while it was hardly a noon brilliance, it was at least brighter than twilight. Maria could have read a book with ease, despite Lady Hunt pronouncing it dark.

Still, she kept her other senses sharp. The terms of the exam– that only the team that returns with the magic stone (or perhaps 'magic stone') would pass the exam– meant it was likely that they would need to do battle with other teams of students to take the stone from whoever has it so that their team could pass. While the Academy had many virtues over Byrgenwerth, at least the latter had never decided their student's academic worth by de facto trial by combat. Though she supposed such a system was meant to encourage the virtues and vices the young nobles would need in the ruthless world of the royal court.

"I want to argue with her, but… from the sound of it, it does sound like only one group would be able to pass this so-called practical exam," the Third Prince said.

"This part definitely makes no sense," Sophia agreed. "Why is it here though?"

"Perhaps the writer got bored of slandering Maria and Lady Katarina and decided to start slandering the school?" Mary suggested.

"For something the school doesn't even do?"

Mary shrugged.

That put her at a definite disadvantage. Maria did not doubt that the prince and his fiancé were under orders to hand the item they were seeking to Lady Claes. She would have to be watchful for the sudden and inevitable betrayal from her 'team'.

"I want to argue, but…" Keith muttered, and everyone glanced at each other guiltily.

They moved in a single file, the prince leading the way, followed by his fiancé. Maria brought up the rear, trying to block out Lady Hunt's ruminating about her mistress as she counted her strides, trying to keep her pace straight and even as she used a small stick of charcoal and a sheet of paper to begin to map out the hallways, trusting that Prince Alan was keeping an eye on the path ahead whenever she had to look down and draw.

Apparently not. She looked up in time to see Prince Alan walk right past an open doorway as he stared intently at the empty, blank wall opposite it while Lady Hunt sighed dramatically and monologue about her mistress. Maria sighed. If they were both too occupied to notice something so obvious she would have to do everything herself. She looked into the door, seeing something bright red and gold that broke the monotony of the stone. "Lady Hunt, Prince Alan, is this what we are looking for?" she said, pointing blandly at the open door.

Lady Hunt turned, looking surprised at having missed the doorway, and walked towards Maria. Prince Alan, in the lead, took a bit longer to turn. When she looked into the room, Lady Hunt gasped and exclaimed, "It's the magic stone!" and hurried towards it.

"Lady Hunt," Maria began as Prince Alan came closer. Lady Hunt picked up the large, ostentatious red crystal. "Be careful. It might be a–"

The stone turned to dust in Lady Hunt's hands. The room gave a shudder… and then the floor furthest from the door began to collapse.

"Wait, there actually are death traps?" everyone exclaimed.

"Does this mean book Maria was right after all?" Sophia said.

Maria was already moving, leaping with the skill of a hunter if not quite the full speed. Still, she had managed to train her body enough to be capable of the smooth movement needed to avoid the claws of beasts, and it stood her in good stead as she reached Lady Hunt before the girl had even taken her second step. Before the redhead could react, Maria bent down and pushed her shoulder into Lady Hunt's midsection, put an arm around her legs and hoisted the noble in a carry. Not turning around, Maria swiftly backstep-leaped back the way she came, keeping an eye on the collapse as the raised stone dais that had held the bright lure collapsed into the dark space beneath.

There seemed to have been nothing supporting the stones that had made up the floor, no pillars or foundation, only emptiness. As the floor continued to fall, the arch of the doorway swept past Maria, and she stopped before she and Lady Hunt's face struck the opposite wall. Soon, the entire floor of the room had collapsed into a deep pit.

Maria stared at that pit. Absently she set down Lady Hunt. Prince Alan rushed to her side, asking if she was all right, but Maria paid it no heed. Keeping a firm grip on the stone of the doorframe, she peeked inside. A pit, just as it seemed. Stare as hard as she would at the walls, including what she could see of the wall her doorway was recessed, she could see no sign of any sort of retracting mechanism, no possible way to explain the slow, progressing collapse. No way to explain how the floor had managed to support Lady Hunt at all when she had walked upon it.

"So many questions…" Keith said. "How would you even build a room like that?"

"Have the floor panels resting on wooden beams, and have a mechanism release the beams starting from the one furthest from the door, of course. " the Third Prince said confidently, and Keith gave him an annoyed glare. "Well, you asked. I'm curious about how the false gem seemed to have some sort of time delay before dissolving after being removed from the trapped chest. It seemed like a needless warning."

"Maria said there wasn't any mechanism, though."

"I can't help you there. Perhaps the writer is just lazy."

"Why is the floor even there?" Alan said. "If it was so close to the entrance, it would probably be one of the first traps to be triggered, meaning there shouldn't have been a floor to see! Did the school reset it or something? In which case, I have to agree with book Maria, the school seems like it's trying to kill its students!"

"But at least we know this Maria is also a good person!" Katarina said triumphantly. "She saved Mary without a mean thought at all."

"Oh!" Maria said. "You're right, Lady Katarina!"

Staring at the gaping abyss before her, Lady Maria felt her hair standing on end. Was it her imagination, or was the abyss staring back? She–

A hand fell on her shoulder and pulled her roughly back from the doorway. She found herself suddenly looking at the Fourth Prince. "You just managed not to fall in," Prince Alan said, the scowl on his face more severe than usual. "Don't do it now."

Maria blinked at him, then shook herself. "I– yes, thank you Prince Alan. I don't know what came over me." Though she suspected…

"No, thank you for saving me, Miss Campbell," Lady Hunt said. "I was careless, to fall for that trap. This exam is more dangerous than I expected…"

Lady Hunt shuddered, and Maria couldn't tell if it was genuine or affected for her benefit. She was correct, however. That was too dangerous for only a mere practical exam. The possibly, the near-certain likelihood, of death had been all too real. The stones that had fallen sounded like they had gone a long way down. Not even someone with the resilience of an experienced hunter, with many echoes in their blood, would have survived such a fall.

"There's that word again, hunter," Mary said. "It's doesn't sound like someone who just hunts dear or something. Didn't the book say they were fast so they could avoid claws?"

"Yes, you're right," the Third Prince agreed. "There's a mention of 'beasts' too. Adding the references to hunter… Well, thematically, hunters hunt beasts, so that seems obvious. Though generally they don't get close enough to need to avoid the claws."

It did, however, explain why only one group was meant to pass. The Academy expected fatalities this day. To weed out the unworthy among this generation of nobles, those who focused not on learning or thought but pretension, in the most final manner?

And to do in this place…

She thought of the ancient Pthumerian ruins, on the reports on ancient, murderous mechanisms that still functioned after all these centuries, of the eldritch truths found therein that had driven men mad.

The thought of how the abyss had seemed to stare back.

For the first time in this life, Maria Campbell shuddered in true fear.

"Let us get going," she said, turning away from the doorway, and the mocking abyss beyond the threshold…
+1 Insight

Katarina blinked. "What's 'insight'?"

"Maybe she realized something?" Keith suggested. "Very strange way to say so, though."

"Ah, so, those 'Pthumerian' ruins she mentioned contained 'eldritch truths' and that's what drove people mad, not the act of going into the tombs themselves," the Third Prince said, nodding in satisfaction. "Though I wonder what sort of truth is considered 'eldtritch'?"

"Er, what does 'eldritch' mean?" Maria asked.

"It means 'strange', in the sense of unearthly and vaguely disturbing," Sophia said. "Or oblong, for some reason."

Maria blinked "Really?"

"Yup. I have no idea why."

"That's… strange."

"Yes, that's what I just said."

Chapter Text

Their continued progressed only affirmed Maria's notion that this practical test was a means to cull the vapid, stupid and useless from the school population. There had been the hallway with the whirling disc saws erupting from the walls at neck and waist level (they'd crawled under it. Thankfully the score along the wall had prompted Maria's suspicions). There had been the gouts of flame from the ceiling. This had been followed by ice-slicked ground immediately after, towards a wall of spikes. Then a long hallway where the ceiling grew spikes and started to descend while they were in the middle of it. The cold eugenics of the nobles of Sorcier was brutal, ruthless and final.

Katarina looked up from the book, frowning cutely. "What's 'eh-uh-genics'?"

"Eugenics," the Third Prince said, pronouncing the word for her. "It means... uh..." His vaunted genius failed him as he realize that trying to explain the concept to fiancée was a losing proposition.

"It means it was invented by someone named Eugene!" Sophia said hastily.

Everyone stared at her. 

"Thanks Sophia!" Katarina said cheerfully and went back to reading. 

"Oh. Of course that worked," Alan muttered.

"Shouldn't you be doing paperwork, Alan?"

Alan threw the cork of his ink bottle at his brother

She supposed this explained the general apathy of the staff to things like her assault, Lord Gramont's philandering ways, Lord Byron's nocturnal excursions out of the school, Lady Claes' many lovers and her alleged garden, and the lack of discipline and uniforms. Byrgenwerth had required uniforms of its students, from what she'd seen when she'd been there. Why enforce such things when they would have a chance to eliminate the truly useless anyway?

"Hey!" Katarina said indignantly. "What do you mean 'alleged garden'? My vegetable garden is a real garden!"

"That's what you're reacting to?" Alan said. "Not the think that comes right before that?"

"Well, duh. I don't have any lovers, but I DO have a garden, and it's totally real garden! I put a lot of work into it! 'Alleged' garden my... " Katarina fell into annoyed muttering as every twitched as it struck.

Fortunately, Katarina's foul mood didn't last long, and she resumed reading, though her eyes seemed a bit more narrowed than they had been before.

Maria wished they'd leave her out of it. She was a peasant, after all!

She sighed, waiting for the large spherical stone to roll past her and Lady Hunt, whom she'd pushed under her into the corner where floor and wall met. Prince Alan, she'd pushed towards the opposite wall, since there wouldn't have been enough space in their corner otherwise.

"Huh..." the Third Prince said. "That's actually a good way of avoiding a large roll sphere in what is presumably a rectangular corridor. Whoever designed this wasn't very good. It obviously needs to be a round tunnel, so there's no place for anyone to hide."

"Why is there a rolling stone at all?" Keith said. "Those things are really dangerous! Even if it's hollow and only made of paper, something that size moving at that speed could hurt someone! Isn't this supposed to be a safe exam?"

"Well, clearly the story's Maria is correct and the Academy in the story is trying too kill people," Sophia said. 

When the sphere had rolled past, slamming into the end of the hallway behind them and blocking that avenue, Maria stood up, wary of where she placed her foot, lest it be another trigger. "Lady Hunt," Maria said evenly, two lifetimes of experience in not letting people in, not letting them see, and pretending to be the good girl she always had to be allowing her to perfectly mask her anger, "I don't mean to accuse you of anything, but are you sure Lord Ascart gave no indication that the practical exam's defenses would be so… enthusiastic?" She held out a hand to the other woman to help her up.

"That was a strangely phrased," Nicol said.

"Maybe it's some kind of reference?" Sophia said. ""Some obscure text?"

"No, from the rhyme, it's probably a reference to a song," Alan said authoritatively.

Everyone blinked. "What rhyme?" Keith said.

"What, can't you all hear it? 'Not letting people in, not letting them see, pretending to be the good girl she always had to be'... Am I the only one who heard it?"

Everyone nodded, even Katarina.

Alan shrugged. "Well... that's what I heard. Sounds like part of a song."

Lady Hunt wore an expression that said she was unhappy and intended to pass that unhappiness along. Thankfully, it didn't seem to be directed at Maria. "No, he didn't," she said, accepting Maria's hand.

"Well he was probably sworn to secrecy," Maria said. "I'm sure he had good reason for not warning you in advance."

If anything, Lady Hunt's expression darkened further. Maria gave no reaction, even as she internally nodded at the confirmation of the currents within Lady Claes' harem. "Yes, he probably did," she said flatly. "Prince Alan, are you all right?"

The prince was wincing, but looked none the worse for wear. "I'm fine," he said. He gave Maria a scowl, but it was a neutral on the Alan scale. "A little warning next time would be nice," he grumbled. "Thanks though."

Maria gave a deferential bow. "Of course, Prince Alan. Shall we continue?"

They resumed walking, Prince Alan using his magic to move water ahead of them. Stone that triggered traps tended to bubble, allowing them to avoid the things most of the time, but not always. Despite the many candles, it was easy to miss subtle bubbles in the flickering light. And this didn't do much to let them past traps that were more magical in nature.

"Did you hear that?" Maria suddenly said. The two stopped, and with their footsteps stilled they could hear the murmurs ahead of them. Ahead, Maria could see vague shadows. "I think there are people ahead?"

"Hopefully, a teacher," Lady Hunt grumbled. "Come on, I want to wring the neck of an authority figure!"

"I would never!" Mary declared.

"What, never?" Keith said

"No, never!" Mary asserted.

"What, even if you'd just been made to go through a ruin full of functioning deathtraps?"

"Well... hardly ever," Mary corrected primly. "But I certainly wouldn't declare it out loud like that!"

Lady Mary's intention to wring the neck of an authority figure was, alas, not meant to be. This was very convenient for Lord Ascart, as he was the closest authority figure in attendance. It was less convenient that this was because Lady Claes had apparently disappeared. Not squashed, stabbed, crushed, drowned, burned, rolled on, or frozen in a block of ice, disappeared.

If it were anyone else in any other group, Maria is certain their fellows would have just shrugged and continued on their way, resigned to the fact one of the traps had done as intended and culled the student population. But this was Lady Claes, whose insatiable lust had drawn half of Sorcier's princes, and her own brother, among others. Maria was not surprised they decided to drop everything to recover her. She was surprised and annoyed that they expected Maria to do the same. While she understood why they were doing what they did, surely they understood she had a practical exam to pass?

"Why does this story give me insatiable lust?" Katarina said, "I do not have insatiable lust! I don't even know what that is!"

"O-of course y-you don't, s-sister," Keith managed to choke out. He was unsure if the speech impediment was from a desire to laugh and cringe guiltily, and from the looks of everyone else he wasn't the only one.  

"And I can't draw either!" She paused a moment, her face becoming thoughtful. "Though... actually that sounds like it could be nice. Maybe I'll learn to draw, so I can draw keith and you two like this says."

"I would be honored to be drawn by you, my dear Katarina," the Third Prince said with a smile.

"Lady Katarina, draw me in too!" Mary cried.

She did NOT say this, however, because she was a peasant and they were nobles, and she didn't want her lifesblood being used to fill a bathtub for their hedonistic escapades. So Maria stood aside and, when they had used wind magic to listen for Lady Claes, she reluctantly followed after them at a more sedate pace. She drew a handkerchief from her pocket to cover her mouth as she saw dark smoke along their path. Had someone used bad oil for their lantern…?

"...well, that got dark fast..." Sophia said. She turned to Maria, who was looking embarrassed again. "For the record, I promise i won't use your lifesblood for hedonistic escapades in a bathtub."

"Thank you, Lady Sophia," Maria said, returning the smile.

So, apparently, they all passed. For some reason. Despite there being only one magic stone and two teams. It was probably Lady Claes exercising her connections, and probably an attempt to entrap Maria into her harem through some sort of perceived debt. Maria decided not to poke at this particular jar of eyes.

She had fully expected, upon their return to the dormitories, to find servants discretely but efficiently packing up deceased masters' belongings for return to their estates along with their mutilated body. Surprisingly, however, everyone seemed to have managed to survive, and Maria was forced to increase her estimations of the competence of her schoolmates. She supposed that, after a generation or three of such exams eliminating the truly hopeless, those who survived would have passed on the traits needed to do so down their bloodline, allowing for generations of nobles to be both pointlessly pretentious yes still capable of survival despite it.

"Huh. I can't really fault her reasoning on that one," Alan said. "Yeah, if all the morons and idiots kept getting killed at some point during their attendance here at the Academy..."

"Only those capable of magic, though," his brother pointed out. "Those without the gift of magic would not be so culled."

"Yea, but it means not being a moron or an idiot would be tied to the same bloodline as magic," Alan said. "Which... is actually a disturbingly good idea. Horrible, but... "

"Yes, I can see the appeal..." 

"Stop being creepy, you two," Sophia said firmly.

Maria had also not expected many of her classmate simply throwing away their new uniforms after the final exam. In hindsight, she supposed she should have. After all, they were allowed to wear whatever they wished in class, and while nobles would allow themselves to be seen in some signature ensemble, such as the Third Prince's white suit and red cape, actually wearing the same look day in and day out as imposed on them by some outside force was apparently anathema to them.

There was a pause as everyone looked at the Third Prince.

"Huh, you DO wear the same clothes every day," Mary said. "Don't you own anything else?"

"I like wearing these clothes," the Third Prince said. "they're elegant and understated, and I can have my tailor just keep making more of the same."

"He hates being measured," Alan said. "Ever since his measurements have been the same three years in a row, he's had his tailor just make the clothes and not measure him."

As such, Maria had been able, by dint of politely asking, to get the maids who had been tasked to get rid of said uniforms to give them to her instead. While many of the maids serving her classmates were noble bastards like herself, some were the peasants she appeared to be, and when offered an alternative to throwing away a perfectly good set of clothes, took it and told others. The result was that Maria found herself with nearly all of the Ladies uniforms' and even some of the Lords', all stuffed into her little dorm room. It was probably more clothes than Maria had ever owned in this life, and possibly even in her previous life as well. Hunters, contrary to what many would think, usually managed to get most of the blood out of their garb after a hunt, so they did not need to regularly buy a new set of clothes.

Maria, now no longer a tall woman, was able to fit into nearly all of the clothes, after a little alteration. Some, like the set that used to belong to Lady Zerbst, were much too… ample… for her without extensive modification. Maria set aside the Zerbst Set for last, along with the ones from Lady Phryne, Lady Piggot and others who, by virtue of height, girth or large… vials of blood would need too much time to modify.

This still left her with several sets that were perfect just the way they were, as well as several sets of trousers. After stripping off the braid, the uniform did in fact make for a serviceable set of hunter's garb, which meant it was perfectly useable as schoolwear.

She wished she could commission a nice coat to go along with it– all those fabric on the skirts would certainly be good for it– but unfortunately she lacked the resources to indulge herself in the urge. If she were going to spend wealth like that, better it be on a proper sword instead of the well-balanced stick she'd found and wrapped some rags on to serve as a grip.

Well, they could serve as extra padding on her bed in the meantime. 

Stifling a yawn, Maria got dressed for bed and settled back on her marginally softer bed. Tucking her dagger under her pillow, one hand on the grip, she closed her eyes as she drifted off to sleep. 

Her dreams were filled with blood, beasts and patients with grotesque, swollen heads wrapped in bandages. Smiling in her slumber, she remembered the taste of thick, rich blood filled with echoes…

"Hmm..." the Third Prince mused. "So, the story Maria was taller in her past life, and drank blood. Which.. actually certainly explains her fixation on the substance. The mention of 'patients' though... Was she sound kind of doctor?"

 "Along with more blood metaphors," Alan noted. "Though I have to admit, 'large vials of blood' is very strange euphemism."

"I don't know whether the story is still mocking me or not," Maria said. "On the one hand, it's claiming I drink blood... but on the other hand, putting clothes that are still in good shape to use... it's something I would do. I wouldn't wear trousers, though. Well, not unless I'm helping Lady Katarina in her garden. It's not decent."

"So, they'd go under the bed as extra padding, then?" Keith said. 

"Only until I can turn them into something else. They'd still be good cloth, after all."

Chapter Text

Maria preferred to study in the library in the east building. It was usually bereft of students, and thus quieter and better suited towards her studies. In addition, there were several books there that allowed her to learn about the wider world. Though she may be a peasant now, she was raised as a noble, and then raised further as a hunter, and then finally a monster. The first had taught her that knowledge (blood) was power, the second had taught her the blade (bathed in blood) was power, and the last had shown her that knowledge (of blood) in ignorance was a crippling weakness and something she should never repeat.

"There's the blood again," the Third Prince said. "Given its prevalence, it might be a cultural thing rather than something specific to this Maria? Something that was regarded as common in her past life?"

"What kind of place is she from that they're that obsessed with blood?" Mary asked.

"Maybe they're vampires?" Katarina suggested.

Everyone looked at her strangely. "What's a vampire, big sister?" Keith asked.

"Ah, they're a kind of monster who eat people's blood," Katarina explained. "They used to be normal people, but they died because a vampire drank all the blood in their bodies, so they died and came back to life a s a vampire too. They look like everyone else, except pale and pretty like Nicol, so you never know who might be a vampire out to suck your blood!"

Everyone stared at her again.

"That… that's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard," Alan said. "Did you read that in a book? I thought you read romance novels?-!"

"But vampires show up in a lot of romance novels, though? They're really romantic…"

"That sounds absolutely twisted! Why would romance novels have such murderous creatures in them?"

"I did say vampires are pale and pretty like Nicol," Katarina said.

Everyone considered that.

"That just makes it even more twisted!" the Third Prince said.

And so she read. When she was done with her schoolwork for the day, she would proceed, at random, on finding a topic about the world she was currently ignorant in. Whether it was of ancient lands such as Friedonia and the Gran Chaos Empire, of recent history such as the annexation of Tasmenia fifty years ago and how it fell because of the treacherous Queen Yuri (whose epithets include 'the Seductress', 'the Vile', 'the Bastard', and 'the Wasteful'), of the creation of magic tools (which reminded her eerily of certain things that the Choir had been doing), of fairy tales about the little witch Nobeta and her trials through the Castle of Puppets…

"What's with all the made-up countries?" Alan said. "Friedonia? Tasmenia? Whoever wrote this is clearly completely ignorant of geography. Why aren't they using the names of real countries like La Sable and Xiarmah?"

"It helps narrow down who wrote this, though," his brother commented. "This clearly wasn't written by a noble. Any noble would know the names of the countries around Sorcier."

"Wait, there are countries around Sorcier?"

Everyone turned to stare at Katarina again.

"All right, most nobles would know the names of the countries around Sorcier," the Third Prince amended. "This doesn't change my point!"

"I have to check the library, see if this fairy tale about this… Little Witch Nobeta is a real story. It sounds interesting!" Sophia mused.

It was all important research! Definitely. Look, if the Choir could make people grow poisonous growths on their hands or separate people's heads from the bodies and leave both pieces still alive and mobile and call it research, then finding out that duchess Iris Almeria had invented chocolate years before she rebelled against Queen Yuri with definitely counted as research!

"Wait, what?" several people exclaimed.

"What twisted people think doing that is research?" Maria said, looking disgusted.

"Someone invented chocolate?-!" Katarina cried.

…

Everyone was staring at Katarina again.

"What?" she asked.

"What's chocolate, Lady Katarina?" Mary asked.

Everyone watched as Katarina's became confused, then horrified, then distressed, then tearful. "There's… no chocolate…?" she said in a small voice.

"I've never even heard of it before now," the Third Prince said. "Is it some sort of farm tool?"

"It's a food…" Katarina said listlessly. "The bestest, most delicious food in the world. It's sweet and tasty and…" She sighed in a way that made everyone swallow nervously, and had all the men casually crossing their legs.

"Uh, that sounds… where did you hear about it, big sister?" Keith asked.

"… dream…"

"You dreamed of a food called chocolate?" Alan asked.

"…I don't want to talk about it…" Katarina said sadly.

"Do you want me to continue reading for you, Lady Katarina?" Sophia offered.

Katarina nodded, handing over the book to the pale-haired girl.

Alan sighed, putting away his pen. "We're just not going to work today, are we?"

"You're free to do all the work you want, Alan."

Sophia cleared her throat and started to read.

Today, however, was a sad day. For whatever reason, Lady Claes had decided to come to the east building library instead of her more usual studying locations such as the student council room or the main library. And predictably, she had her harem in tow. Why they had to use Maria's table, inside the offside round room, for their studying, she had no idea…–

Maria froze, then glanced surreptitiously at the table, the floor, and tried not to squirm in her chair. Had they…? The walls were thick, and padded with books to muffle sound. Was this…

Maria tried not to think of blood and phantasm slime, tried not to think of what she might be sitting on, of what might have happened in this room, of– Maria kept her head bowed and stared intently at her notes. Thankfully, upon finding her occupied with study, they had exchanged only brief pleasantries before descending into silent study beyond Lady Hunt briefly insisting Lady Claes sit next to Maria and she would sit next to Lady Claes. The group seemed to actually be studying. Maria supposed they couldn't just use their political influence to pass their exams all the time–

"Wow, this Maria has a really low opinion of us, doesn't she?" the Third Prince said, as everyone tried to repress their blush at being referred to as Katarina's harem. "I think she was implying something rude too, though the phrasing was obtuse enough to not be very clear."

"And that you were passing our classes using your influence," Maria said, who actually looked the offended at the notion. "That's absurd! You all work very hard in class to have the grades you all do!"

There was a growl like a blood-starved beast, and Maria's head snapped up, her dagger almost out of her sleeve before she followed everyone's gazes and realized it was Lady Claes' stomach grumbling. Apparently, none of her appetites could be sated. How Lady Claes wasn't nearly as spherical as Lady Phryne, Maria could not fathom.

Everyone looked at Katarina, who had opened the emergency snack drawer and had opened the tin of emergency dried fruits and nuts rolled in honey that was secreted there. They all glanced down at her stomach. They all begrudgingly agreed the book had a point.

After a much too casual apology (did she not realize Maria was there, acting as if she were private with her harem? Wait, did she already consider Maria a part of her harem, to be acting so casually?!?!?!), her brother and Lady Hunt offered to come back with food and tea. Maria almost pointed out that they weren't allowed to bring food into a library (she was fairly sure), but given she was likely to be gainsaid by almost all of the student council, not to mention two princes, the heir and daughter of a duke, and the daughter of a marquis, she decided this was not a hunt she could survive.

"Yes, whoever wrote this definitely isn't a student here," the Third Prince said, "Or else they'd know none of us would ever bring food into the library areas… anymore."

"I can't believe you got me in trouble with the library!" Sophia said. "I was banned for a week! How could you!"

"You were the one that brought the shelled nuts," Mary pointed out.

"That's different! You can hide that in your pocket and it goes straight in your mouth, so you can hide the fact you're eating! You brought a tea pot and a platter of sandwiches!"

Maria dutifully returned to her studies, even as Lady Claes eventually stood up and began making strange movements, before pausing and reaching for a book on a low shelf. Maria was just wondering what Lady Claes had found when the book began to glow. As Lady Claes began to scream, eldritch green light unlike anything Maria had ever seen began to engulf the room.

The two princes and Lady Ascart were saying something, but Maria couldn't make it out over Lady Claes' sustained scream. Even as she tried to cover her eyes and tried to move away from that light as quickly as possible, Maria felt something strange in her ears. She suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled as up and down seemed to topple, and her along with it. It was a terrifying sensation, because Maria had felt it before.

During the Choir's research into the abyssal cosmos, and their so-called failures had torn the very skies apart to reveal the stars…

And then Maria–

+2 Insight

"There it is again! The 'insight is back!" Sophia cried. "Also, what kind of book was that? Does the library actually have a book like that? Is it good?"

"Sophia, it's a story where Maria thinks Lady Katarina is some kind of lustful seductress who's keeping all of us as her harem," Mary pointed out, even as she swayed slightly at the thought of Katarina being a lustful seductress. "I think we can agree it starts divorced from reality and proceeds to maliciously sue it for alimony and custody of the children."

"While the writer is certainly taking the strangest liberties," the Third Prince said, "I must admit they make up for it with the most intriguing implications about this Maria's background. So, this 'Choir' is something like the Ministry in that it does research on magic, and one of the results of their research—a 'failed' result, at that—can tear the skies apart?"

"Maybe they were supposed to just cut it neatly," Keith said dryly.

– so nice, so red the drops that fall; blood so red, so red, so sweet, so thick; so thick the blood, so strong, so rich; so many echoes within, such sweetness, such life; the blood is the life, the life is the blood, lifesblood so wonderful; so much blood, so much, but more, she needed more it wasn't enough, blood, blood, she needed blood, needed blood so much, more, more, more, she needed more, she needed more blood, the old blood, the coldblood, saint's blood and sinner's blood–

"Wait, what?" Katarina said, joining the group again, her mouth sticky with honey.

"Ah, sorry, I forgot to mention. After the 'insight' thing there was a section break," Sophia said.

"All right… but what does the rest of that mean?" Mary asked.

Katarina and Sophia exchanged a look, two experienced readers exchanging ideas in an instance and coming to a consensus. "It's probably to show they're going insane," Sophia said as Katarina nodded in agreement.

"Who's going insane?" Alan asked.

"– more…" Maria found herself groaning, even as she regained consciousness to find herself lying on the cold stone floor of the library.

"Ah. Silly me. In hindsight, all the mentions of blood should have made it obvious."

"Is everyone all right?" Lord Claes said from somewhere above her head. There was the sound of chewing. From many, many, many snacking breaks in the student council room, Maria recognized the sound of Lady Claes eating a cookie.

She was depressed she knew what that sounded like so specifically.

Everyone but Katarina snickered, knowing exactly what sound that was.

But more importantly…

"…bluuuh…?" Maria managed to gasp out before she realized what she was saying. She remembered the feeling of the abyssal cosmos, and then…

Rapture. She could still taste the blood on her lips, feel the warmth and sweetness in her veins, even as her tongue insisted it was bone dry and she could really use some of that tea she smelled.

"What happened?" someone said. It may have been Maria. She wasn't sure. All she wanted to know was where all the blood had gone.

---

"Oh, so it's a magic book!" Lady Claes summarized, as if those simple words summarized everything. "No wonder all those weird things kept happening!"

The Third Prince, Lord and Lady Ascart looked nervously, then began making excuses about needing to be somewhere else, standing up abruptly and leaving the room with much swiftness. What had they desired, that they would be embarrassed about it before their fellow lovers? Surely there were no secrets among this circle of perversity? Unless… hmm, perhaps there were more cracks in Lady Claes' harem then Maria had thought. 

"Why does this keep saying I have a harem?" Katarina said, confused. "I don't have a harem."

"Of course you don't, sister," Keith said hastily. "Remember, the Maria in the story thinks you have one, even if you don't, remember?"

"You said 'remember' twice," the Third Prince said.

"I'm hoping she actually will if I keep repeating it."

"No, I know that, I was the one reading the book first, remember?" Katarina said, waving aside Keith's explanation. "I just mean there aren't any characters who could be my harem. The only other people there are you guys."

Everyone but Katarina slumped slightly at that, not that she noticed.

"And what's a 'circle of—'?"

Sophia coughed loudly and continued reading.

Maria sighed, and began packing up her materials to return to her dorm. There would be no more studying for her tonight. She wouldn't be able to concentrate.

"Um, Maria," Lady Hunt said hesitantly, and Maria looked up. Lady Hunt seemed to flinch for some reason. How strange. "Er, are you all right?"

"Yes, I am fine," Maria said, trying not to stare at the arteries of Lady Hunt's neck. Her dress did so leave them bared, after all. She almost felt like she could see them throb to the beating of her heart. "Why do you ask?"

"N-no reason!" Lady Hunt said hurriedly, and Maria resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"If that is all, then I believe I shall retire," Maria said. "I wonder what's for dinner…?"

Feeling suddenly hungrier than she ever had in a long time, Maria left the library.

"Well, that was unhelpfully vague," the Third Prince said. "I think this might be the worst-written part yet."

"Agreed," Alan said. "It's clear that something happened regarding the book, but the story just skipped over it. Of all the things it would skip over, why that? It's implied that it made the story you, Sophia and Nicol embarrassed, but…"

"Something about desire?" Sophia  said, rereading the relevant parts, then shaking her head. "Though that doesn't really explain anything. And what's with that weird interaction between story Maria and story Mary there? It's like she wants to drink Mary's blood. Although maybe not, since it talks about her being hungry, not thirsty."

"Ooh, maybe story Maria is a vampire!" Katarina suggested. "For vampire's blood is the only food they eat, so they might be hungry for it."

Everyone twitched and shuddered at the reminder for Katarina's strange fictional monster.

"That's… possible," the Third Prince said diplomatically. "But wouldn't that mean a vampire had to kill Maria in the story to turn her into one?"

"Oh, right… then I have no idea!"

Chapter Text

"Huh… Lady Katarina, did you read this part?" Sophia said.

"Hmm?" Katarina said. "What apart?"

"This part," Sophia said, flipping the pages of the book a little ways back. "This part right after the third part."

"Oh, that part…" Katarina said. "It looked really weird and confusing, and had a whole bunch of numbers, so I decided to skip it."

Sophia sighed. "Really Katarina, I might be an important part for explaining why Maria is crazy." There was a beat. "Story-Maria, not you, Maria."

"Yes, I understood that, confusing as it was," Maria said, smiling serenely.

"Please stop smiling at me like that's it's making me nervous for some reason." Sophia coughed and started reading.

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"… I didn't understand any of that," the Third Prince said. "Why is it talking about 'threads'?"

Sophia read a little bit forward. "Ah, maybe this will explain things?" the sounded skeptical even as she said it.

♦ Topic: Doom Flag Prevention Thread 8 - Maria Crisis!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Magic Academy ► Katarina's Brain
KatarinaClaes (Original Poster)

"Is this segment supposed to be depicting Lady Katarina's thoughts?" Mary said incredulously.

"Ooh, let me see, let me see!" Katarina said, moving behind Sophia and looking over her head. Sophia sighed contendedly as she felt something warm and firm pressing down on the top of her head as everyone glared at her, even Maria. "Oh, that's here! It says 'Katarina's Brain'! That's in here!" She pointed excitedly at her head. "Huh… yup, that's exactly what I'd be thinking if Maria had started acting all weird like the Maria in this story."

"Uh, Lady Katarina, perhaps you should step back so Sophia can keep reading?" Mary said through gritted teeth.

"Oops! Sorry, Sophia!"

"…eet mystery of life, at last I've found—huh?" Sophia said, blinking.

"Sophia, weren't you reading?" the Third Prince said, smiling like he was talking to Keith.

"Oh, right, right!"

Posted On Jul 30th 2020:
Argh! What's happening? Why isn't Maria raising any flags!?!?! How are we supposed to know if we're on the doom path or not if Maria isn't getting any affection points with everyone?!?!?!?!?!

Everyone stared at that.

"Well," Alan said, "if nothing else, that did sound exactly like something that Katarina would think."

"It didn't make sense, though?" Mary said.

"As I said, exactly like something Katarina would think."

Mary glared at her fiancée, but couldn't really refute that.

"Well, if that's the case," the Third Prince said, turning towards the lady in question, "my Katarina, would you be so kind as explaining what this means?"

"Oh, that's easy," Katarina said. "Story-Me is worried about how story-Maria isn't getting close to anyone."

"Then why not just say that?"

"They did, though?"

"I think that might be what's meant by 'affection points'," Keith said thoughtfully, to which Katarina nodded enthusiastically, "but where do flags come into it?"

"There aren't any flags. They said so," Katarina pointed out. "Really Keith, you need to pay attention so you don't miss details like that."

Keith gave his sister an incredulous look.

"Ahem!" Sophia coughed, then continued reading.

(Showing page 5 of 6)

►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
Order! Order! Katarinas shouldn't fight! The two of you apologize now or else!

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
She started it!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry you're such a fatass bitch!

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
LOL

►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
We're all doomed. Let's just eat as much as we can before G-boy guts us open like a sausage or Keith smashes us like a bug. I don't care anymore.

"'Smash us like a bug'?" Keith repeated incredulously. "I'd never do that! "

"Not you Keith, they mean the Keith in the story," Katarina said. "Remember, fiction isn't real life. If you start confusing the two, you become one of those people who keep trying to get books banned because they think what happens in the book is real."

"Ugh, I hate those people," Sophia said. "'Lady Chatterley's Maid' is a classic!"

The Third Prince narrowed his eyes. "Who is this G-boy? I don't think I like him."

"I'm pretty sure that's the first mentioned of someone named 'G-boy'," Sophia said.

"So… is this supposed to mean that the Lady Katarina in the story is… being uncertain and indecisive?" Maria ventured. "Since she seems to be arguing with herself?"

"Why does 'Happy' Katarina sound so depressed?" Alan said, confused.

"It's probably a thematic irony thing," Sophia said. "'Timid' Katarina isn't timid at all, either. And 'Studious' Katarina…"

Everyone looked at each other. The thought 'she shouldn't exist' was shared but not actually said out loud.

"This is a very strange way to transcribe a dialogue, even if it's supposed to be a metaphorical dialogue between Katarina's different traits," the Third Prince noted.

"You try reading it," Sophia said. "I think I'll just skip the weird titles they have, unless there are any new ones." She went back to reading.

►ChairwomanKatarina
WILL ALL OF YOU FUCKING SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

►TimidKatarina
You're not the boss of us!

►ChairwomanKatarina
I have the hammer, so, YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina
NUH UH!

►ChairwomanKatarina
YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina
NUH UH!

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

"Swearing aside, that's definitely how Katarina argues," Alan said authoritatively.

"Yeah, remember when we were young and Alan said a tomato was a vegetable?" the Third Prince said.

"It's a fruit" Katarina declared.

Everyone but Maria nodded. She sighed, feeling left out.

♦ Topic: Doom Flag Prevention Thread 9 - Maria Crisis Still Ongoing!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Magic Academy ► Katarina's Brain
AdventurousKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina) (Temporary Chairwoman)
So, back to the issue at hand. Here's a quote from the previous thread:

 

Any ideas Miss Claes? Miss Claes?

(Showing page 1 of 1)

►StudiousKatarina
Are you the new Chairwoman now?

►AdventurousKatarina
Well, someone has to be.

►Happy Katarina (
I move we get ahead of the doom flags, cut our hair, change our name, move to a different country like Mary is always suggesting, and grow wheat for the rest of our lives.

Everyone but Katarina glared at Mary.

"What are you all looking at me for?" Mary said. "A little travel is good for the soul. Broadens the horizons. Let's you explore strange new lands. Eat new foods and try new clothes."

"You know why," the Third Prince said.

"Not my fault that the Lady Katarina in the story wants to go abroad. I didn't write this."

"No, but whoever did write this seems to know a lot of private details," Alan mused. "There's that word again, 'flags'. In the first part, flags seemed to be something that the Katarina in the story wanted to raise, but now it seems to be something they want to avoid. At least, if I'm reading it right and the little individual Katarinas are meant to depict different traits of Katarina as a whole."

"Not flags, 'doom flags'," Katarina pointed out. "They're obviously different."

Alan tilted his head, then nodded. "Huh. Yeah, that makes sense."

►AdventurousKatarina
Let's call that Option Z.

What we really need to do is find out why Maria isn't getting any affection points. No affection points means she can't advance in any of the routes, which means a bad end by default! We could up sworded AND dirt dolled to death!

Sophia looked up from the book to see everyone was staring at Katarina… who was nodding.

Katarina blinked at them. "What?"

"My Katarina," the Third Prince said, "could you please explain what you understand that previous line to mean? Because from what I can understand, it seems to be implying that unless the Maria in the story somehow becomes affectionate with someone, the Katarina in the story is going to die."

Katarina rolled her eyes. "No, that's silly. If the Maria in the story gets on the wrong person's route, then the Katarina in the story will die."

"That's… not much better, my Lady Katarina!" Mary said. "Why do you think you will die?"

"Because that's how the story goes, Mary," Katarina explained patiently. "Look, they explained the premise pretty clearly. If story-Maria doesn't get in a romance with someone, than Katarina will die. Don't start mixing up stories and real life, all right?"

►Happy Katarina
If that's the end scripted for us, then who are we to defy the will of Fortune Lover's great director, Miyazaki Hidetaka-sama?

►StudiousKatarina
I still can't believe that of all the things he'd make if finally be given free reign, it would be an otome game.

"Who's Miyazaki Hidetakasama?" the Third Prince said. "Have any of you ever heard that name?"

Everyone shook their heads. "it sounds Xiarmen, though," Alan said. "And what's an… an oh-tow-may game?"

"Otome game," Katarina corrected.

Alan blinked at her in confusion. "That's what I said."

"It's really not. Not even close," she insisted.

►Happy Katarina
I know right? I loved looking at the items we collected and reading the lore of the setting.

►AdventurousKatarina
Focus! I know we're all hungry and bored and sleepy and want to just read Devilish Count novels until we turn to mush, but Katarina is depending on us! How do we solve the problem of Maria?

►StudiousKatarina
Look, this might be scraping the bottom of the barrel, and I know this never works in real life, but we're in the game now... Why don't we just talk to her?

Sophia burst out laughing as Katarina started to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Mary said.

"Sorry…" Sophia managed to pant out as she got her laughter under control. "It's a romance novel thing,"

Katarina just kept on giggling.

►AdventurousKatarina
But how do we make her stay and listen to what we say?

►Happy Katarina
How do we keep a wave upon the sand?

►AdventurousKatarina
Huh? What does that have to do with anything?

►Happy Katarina
I thought you were doing a 'Sound of Music' thing?

►StudiousKatarina
Have I mentioned how different you seem when we work from home and have meetings online?

►Happy Katarina
The internet allows you to act as you really are when you wear the mask of anonymity. Before such sublime truth, the futility of life cannot be denied.

End of Page. 1

"Happy Katarina really doesn't sound very happy," Maria said, looking concerned. "Katarina, if you were sad, you wouldn't pretend to be happy, would you?"

Katarian stared at her, confused. "Who 'pretends' to be happy? You're either happy, or you're not, and if you're not happy, then you need a hug, and maybe extra dessert, and then you''ll be happy again."

"What's an 'internet'?" Alan said, confused. "I mean, clearly it's a made up word—"

"All words are made up," Sophia interjected.

"…" Alan '…'-ed. "All right, I'll grant you that. And I can even see how you might come upon 'internet'. 'Inter' means 'between' or 'among', and 'net' can be either literal or metaphorical. What' I'm wondering is what it means in this context. It's something that gives you a 'mask of anonymity', which which is why 'happy' Katarina feels she can let herself stop acting happy, despitethe fact she's among people who know her very well, at least I presume so since they're other aspects of Katarina—"

"Alan, I never thought I'd ever have to say this, but stop overanalyzing the book," Sophia said flatly. "It's just a weird story."

♦ Topic: Doom Flag Prevention Thread 8 - Maria Crisis!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Magic Academy ► Katarina's Brain
KatarinaClaes (Original Poster) (Verified Reincarnated)
Posted On Jul 30th 2020:
Argh! What's happening? Why isn't Maria raising any flags!?!?! How are we supposed to know if we're on the doom path or not if Maria isn't getting any affection points with everyone?!?!?!?!?!

 

(Showing page 8 of 8)

►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
NUH UH!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
NUH UH!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
NUH UH!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
YUH HUH!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Jul 30th 2020:
NUH UH!

"And of course they're still going," the Third Prince chuckled. "Well, whoever this mysterious writer is, they certainly have a very strange sense of humor, to depict Katarina's thought so."

"That wasn't obvious from how they're depicting Maria as a crazy person with a strange obsession with blood?" Mary said flatly.

"Not at all. They seemed to be seriously invested in their depiction. This interlude, however, is clearly meant to be humorous. Certainly I found some parts amusing."

"Well, I didn't," Keith said. "Sister, you know I'd never hurt you, right?"

"Keith, I keep telling you, don't confuse the story and real life," Katarina said, sounding slightly exasperated.. "That was story Keith, not real-life Keith. It's like how just because the main character of 'The Saint's School Romance' is named 'Katarina' doesn't mean she's me."

Sophia started whistling innocently.

The third prince suddenly sighed, glancing towards the window. "Well, it's getting late and it seems we won't getting any more work done. Why don't we call it a day and just continue tomorrow?"

"Eh? Can't we read one more chapter?"

The Third Prince rolled his eyes, but smiled indulgently. "All right, one more. Everyone else, started putting things away. Sophia, what happens next?"

"Ah, let's see… ah, here's where we left off last time… how much of a weirdo is story Maria going to be now…?"

"Lady Claes is a subtle and manipulative seductress without compare. While the accusations and details are partly true, I can definitively say that Lady Claes would not have been the perpetrator. If she was, she could have capitalized on the very first such incident by attempting to draw me into her bosom while I was disoriented by the experience and stake her claim upon me… is Prince Alan all right? I don't think he's getting enough air."

"Alan, get up off the floor," the Third Prince chortled. "You're confusing the story and reality."

Chapter Text

It wasn't often that Maria had lunch with the rest of the student council. Usually she would head to the dining hall, eat quickly and either spend the rest of the time studying or return to the student council chambers to do more paperwork. However, the president had asked her to run an errand to the Ministry on the campus, and by the time she'd finished the other members of the student council– or more properly, Lady Claes' harem with her and the president– were only just finishing their own duties and were hurrying to lunch. Since they were all going the same way, it seemed churlish to refuse their company. Insatiable as their mistress was, they were all nevertheless quite pleasant company in their own right without Lady Claes' will and libido guiding their actions.

Katarina blinked. "What's a libido? Sophia, do you know?"

Sophia was distinctly aware of how everyone was giving her pointedly flat looks. "I think it means something like 'way of living'? Like, 'livey-do', what you do as you live?"

"Oh, so that's what it means!" Katarina said. "Thanks, Sophia! I always thought it had something to do with sex, but I guess I was wrong."

Everyone's gazes snapped toward Katarina, their faces incredulous as she went back to reading.

Well, mostly. Lady Hunt seemed wary of her now. Maria hoped the other girl hadn't changed her stance and suddenly viewed her as yet another competitor for Lady Claes' affections. She did not want to find she'd been drowned in her sleep because Lady Mary had filled her room with water. Or possibly just have her lungs filled with water that she couldn't cough out. She wouldn't even be able to use Light magic to heal herself of that.

"Hey! Why me?" Mary exclaimed. "Alan's got Water Magic too, why isn't Maria afraid that he'll water-murder her?"

Everyone else in the room just raised an eyebrow at her, even Maria.

Katarina didn't notice as she frowned down at the pages. "Yeah, that is kinda mean. Though I pity this Maria. It can't be healthy to think everyone around her is trying to kill her—ACHOO!"

Keith sighed. "Sister, don't use your gloves, you have a handkerchief for that... "

Still, Lady Hunt didn't seem maliciously aggressive right now, so hopefully Maria could dissuade her from any rash course of action that would force Maria to rip her heartsblood out through her chest.

"Again, why me?" Mary sighed. "Does the writer of this thing not like me or something?"

They entered the dining hall.

The first thing Maria noted was that it was oddly quiet. The second thing she noted was that Lady Claes was surrounded by a circle of women, all of whom looked like they'd just come out of a particularly tarry, smoky fire. Was having lit braziers spewing dark smoke the latest fashion or something?

"Wait, what?" the Third Prince said, suddenly sitting up straight in his chair.

"Hmm?" Katarina looked up from the book again. "What is it?"

Maria was frowning. "That… that sounds like how I see Dark Magic," she said.

"Eh? Really, Maria?"

The commoner nodded. "Yes. But…" She bit her lip. "Except for Rafael, I've never told anyone outside the student council what Dark Magic looks like."

Katarina gasped as everyone else in the room started eyeing one another suspiciously. "Wait, so you're saying that… the person who wrote this book is a Light Magic wielder?"

Everyone paused in their suspicion. "Huh?" While they didn't all say it, they all felt the question in spirit.

"Well, I mean, how else would someone know what dark magic looks like?" Katarina said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world. She tapped the side of her head with a sly smile. "After all, everyone always says to write what you know, so whoever this writer is, they must know what Dark Magic looks like, right?"

"Yes, that must be the case, Lady Katarina," the Third Prince said smoothly, instantly earning him suspicious glares, although that was mostly from habit and not active suspicion except maybe from Mary and Keith.

Oh dear, was she cheating on her harem with another harem? Just how boundless were her hedonistic desires, that one group of beautiful and powerful people weren't enough for her? Shaking her head, Maria headed for the buffet of food, filled with all sorts of delicious, rich noble food on open plates. All around the dining room, people sat close together, the social proximity meant to facilitate what would usually be lively conversation

Katarina sighed. "Why all the jokes about me having a harem?" she said, actually sounding offended. She looked up at everyone and gestured at herself. "Honestly, do I seem like the sort of person who'd have a harem?"

"Honestly, in your position it's probably more offensive they'd think you'd cheat," Alan pointed out.

"Why even bother cheating?" Sophia said pragmatically. "Just mush the two harems together into one harem. Problem solved."

"Can we please stop talking about harems!" Mary said. "The very concept is demeaning towards women!"

"Actually, in Ethenelle, the term simply means the part of the household reserved as the women's quarters, where men aren't allowed to enter," the Third Prince said. "Any other interpretation is simply foreigners being salacious."

"What, exactly, is transpiring here?" the Third Prince said, sounding displeased to find his fiancé cheating on them so.
He eyed the noble ladies around Lady Claes. Hmm, perhaps she was feeling more into women rather than men right now? Well, not Maria's problem. She looked about, but it appeared the kitchens were still not responding to her gentle notes asking for rare steaks, black puddings and blood sausages. A pity. Well, no need to torture herself. She made her selections of small cakes, various forms of potatoes, meats, and, somewhere in the middle of it all, a few cowering, unwanted vegetables.

Katarina gasped as people smirked at the Third Prince. "That's a terrible diet!" she protested. "Maria, you should eat healthier! If all you eat is cakes, potatoes and meat, you'll end up fa—ACHOO!"

Maria tuned out whatever the two groups were discussing as she focused on her meal. While she wasn't the bottomless glutton Lady Claes was, she wasn't about to let the wide variety of food the dining hall offered go to waste. Other nobles might, but after a childhood of occasionally going hungry, Maria knew the value of appreciating her meals, and eventually the nobles who tried to disturb her at meals got the hint that no, they didn't want to be sent home for assaulting a member of the student council. Or for a member of the student council to defenestrate them at high speed.

"Sophia, what does 'defenestrate' mean?"

"It means 'throw something out of a window'."

"Wait, really? There's a special word for that?"

"Miss Campbell, is this true?" suddenly intruded into her consciousness. Maria blinked in surprise as she realized the dining hall had fallen silent again and was now focused on her for some reason.

"What is, your highness?" Maria said, standing up and facing the Third Prince.

Said prince waved a sheaf of papers. "These accusations that the Lady Katarina Claes has subjected you to bullying and intimidation." The prince's face was stony.

Maria blinked. "Er, wouldn't you know, your highness? You were there as well." Why would he need to ask when he was always practically glued to Lady Claes' side, a constant reminder of the political power she wielded, when trying to recruit Maria?

There were murmurs at these words, and if anything, the Prince's face grew stonier. "I would have you speak of them in your own words."

Here? Now? Before these witnesses? What was going on? "Are you sure, your highness?"

"Yes," the third prince snapped.

Well, he asked. "It is true that Lady Claes has directed her attentions towards me since the day we met, despite my attempts to avoid her, and has attempted to intimidate me into submitting to her."

"Wait, is this the scene where Katarina is confronted about bullying Maria? Oh no! Run, Katarina, before you get exiled!"

"Uh, sister… that's just the book, remember? Don't confuse the story with reality."

"Oh, right! Whew, thanks for reminding me Keith. I was almost a moral guardian for a moment there."

The murmurs became gasps. Lady Claes gave Maria a betrayed stare, which Maria answered with a flat, level gaze. "Maria, how can you say that?!" Lady Hunt exclaimed, looking angry.

"The Third Prince demanded I speak, Lady Hunt," Maria said, trying to be as inoffensive as possible. How had her lunch turned into some kind of political posturing platform? What game was this she had found herself in the middle of suddenly? "As the rest of the student council know and were witness to, Lady Claes has been trying to seduce me into your collective group since the day we met. To that end, she has used her political connections to be allowed admittance into the student council office at all hours, interrogating me as to my romantic preferences and offering her various male compatriots as a honeypot for my allegiance."

Silence. Not even murmurs, just stares. Lady Claes looked confused, or perhaps hungry. Maria saw her mouth the word 'honey'. It figured that even with scandal unfolding literally in front of her, Lady Claes would prioritize her appetites.

"Ooh, do we have—?"

"Here, Lady Katarina."

"Honey! Yay! Thanks, Maria!"

Maria sighed. She was committed now. "This campaign was pervasive, and I suspect my own mother was inducted into being one for her pawns by exercising her lady's right upon my mother's person–"

"That's not what he meant!" Lord Claes exclaimed, grabbing the sheaf of papers from the prince's hand and rushing towards Maria to hand them to her. "He means these things, the accusations mentioned here! Weren't you paying attention to what was happening?"

Maria gave him a bland look. "It was lunch time, so I was having lunch. And as a peasant, as many people in this hall have interrupted some of my meals to emphasize, I try to avoid noble politics, as they make no sense to me anyway." Still, she took the sheaf and, flipped through them with student council-practiced ease. "Hmm, Lady Claes was not involved in that… or that… or that… no, that certainly didn't happen…"

Murmurs began to rise again as Maria quickly read through the sheaf. "While some of these incidents did happen, Lady Claes was nowhere near when they did. They are also clearly misreported, as they make no mention of the bodily harm I inflicted upon my assailants for interfering with a member of the student council… and the rest are complete fabrications."

"Whatever are you talking about, Maria Campbell! We are doing this for you! We are exposing Katarina Claes' wrongdoings out of consideration for you!"

"That's right! These aren't lies or slander! We have written testimony, evidence, and even a witness! You are the one who is being deceived by that evil woman!"

"Exactly! To be tricked by such a detestable woman... how pitiful, how sad! Maria Campbell... WE are your allies," the noble ladies surrounding Lady Claes said boldly.

"Be silent," Maria said sternly. "And cease trying to seduce me. I get enough of that from Lady Claes as it is."

"Alan, if you're going to laugh, can you be a bit quieter about it?" Mary said, giving her fiancé an annoyed look.

For some reason, Prince Alan burst out laughing suddenly, bending over in his mirth. Maria ignored it. Prince Alan seemed to find the strangest things funny.

Alan began to laugh louder.

"Complete fabrications," Lord Ascart said, as pretty and expressionless as ever. "You are certain?"

Maria nodded. "I am. Lady Claes is a shrewd, cunning mind possessed of great power and influence. If nothing else, the fact that these so-called accusations could even be traced back to her is proof of her non-involvement, when she has such power to draw on and exert her influence at such a remove no one would even know it was her."

Why was Prince Alan collapsed to the floor holding his stomach? Had he laughed too hard he'd done himself an injury? Well, serves him right, taking this all so lightly.

"S-so, you are denying the validity of these accusations being leveled at Lady Katarina?" Lord Ascart said after covering his mouth to cough. Was he getting sick? Perhaps it was from all that black smoke those girls were wafting.

Maria nodded again. "Lady Claes is a subtle and manipulative seductress without compare. While the accusations and details are partly true, I can definitively say that Lady Claes would not have been the perpetrator. If she was, she could have capitalized on the very first such incident by attempting to draw me into her bosom while I was disoriented by the experience and stake her claim upon me… is Prince Alan all right? I don't think he's getting enough air."

"Alan, get up off the floor," the Third Prince chortled. "You're confusing the story and reality."

Mary spared a glance towards the prince who had fallen off his chair and was holding his stomach for dear life. "He's fine," she said, even as she rolled her eyes out how off the Maria in the story was.

Even Katarina was shaking her head. "Wow… this Maria actually thinks I'm smart. She doesn't know me very well, does she?"

"I think that's the joke, sister."

"Huh? Oh, you're right!"

Lady Hunt sent a withering look down at her wheezing fiancé. "He's fine," she declared, sounding disgusted he was taking things so lightly.

"Ooh, Mary, the book knew you'd say that!"

Maria took her word for it. "However, if those papers are indeed accusing people in my name, I can of course name other to be included into that list."

"Please don't break my arm again!" someone hidden at the back shouted.

…

Eventually, in addition to her harem (which Maria was happy to say she was not part of), other students began defending Lady Claes in this mockery of a public trial. Maria was able to return to her lunch as students began to declare Lady Claes was incapable of bullying another student. It was lies of course, since she was perfectly capable, she just had no need to do so. Still, they could read where the political winds were blowing, and so sided with the clear victor. Her accusers fled the dining hall. As if that would do any good. After having slandered his mistress before him, the Third Prince and the rest of her harem would show them no mercy.

Maria didn't wait that long. She left the dining hall as soon as expedient, heading for the student council chambers.

The president was still there, still doing paperwork, looking more harried than when they had left. "Lord President Dieke," Maria greeted. "Did you miss lunch? I thought you went to the dining hall with us?"

"Ah hah ha," the council president said, laughing sheepishly. "Sorry. I remembered something and had to come back, and before I knew it time had passed."

Maria nodded. The battle against paperwork was never ending. In some ways she thought it was that, rather than the patients suffering in the research hall, that had broken her spirits. Whether success or failure, the paperwork had been never ending!

"So true, so true," the Third Prince said.

"Paperwork, the never ending battle," Keith reluctantly agreed.

"I'm not an heir or a spare. After I graduate, I don't have paperwork," Mary said smugly.

Keith and the Third Prince and, in a rare moment of agreement, both threw their quills at the noblewoman.

"I see. Anything I can help you with?"

"Ah, that would be a big help, thank you Maria," the council president said, handing some papers over.

For a moment, they worked in companionable silence.

"By the way Lord President, I've been meaning to ask, can you explain this fashion of having dark smoke wafting from one's clothes?" Maria asked. "I've seen people all over the academy doing it, but I've never really understood noble fashion, and since you seem to be subscribing to the fad, I was wondering if you could explain it to me…"

Everyone blinked. "Wait," Sophia said. "Did story Maria just notice that Sirius had Dark Magic all over him?"

"I think so!" Katarina said. "Ooh, I can't wait to find out what happens next!"

Then she closed the book and stood up.

"Eh? Where are you going, Lady Katarina?"

"Dinner! We said this would be the last chapter, and I'm hungry."

"But what about what happens next, Lady Katarina?"

Katarina tsked, wagging her finger. "Ah-ah. Maria, I know reading is fun, but you can't just while the day away doing nothing else. You need to be a responsible reader and take care of yourself by keeping to a schedule so you take a bath, study, and eat three square meals a day at regular times. The books will still be there when you get back. Now come on, let's go head for dinner!"

It was after dinner, but before curfew, that a most unusual assortment of people could be found at a sitting room.

"All right," the Third Prince said, looking at al the young men and women he really considered peers, if only because he had known them the longest, and one of them was Maria who had managed to worm her way into Katarina's trust and regard in a fraction of the time it had taken the rest of them, making her an outstanding threat. "Now that we're all here, let's get started. We need to find whoever wrote that book in Katarina's possession. They clearly know too much about state secrets."

Everyone nodded, even if Maria did so slowly.

Alan held up his hand. "The existence of Dark Magic and the fact that the former Student Council President 'Sirius Dieke' possessed Dark Magic should be known only to us, Father and Mother, Prime Minister Ascart, the heads of the Ministry's departments who had to be informed about Rafael's circumstances, Nicol and us. I'm pretty sure I didn't write that book. Did any of you?"

They all shook their heads.

"Nicol wouldn't have the time, not even if he dictated it," The Third Prince continued, picking up after his brother. "The same is true for everyone else we mentioned. However, the book exists. That means that someone out there not only knows something they shouldn't, they were brazen enough to write it down and then give to Lady Katarina as a novel."

"It at least narrows down the possibilities," Sophia said. "At the very least, someone must have delivered the novel to Lady Katarina, and given where she received it, it must be someone at the Academy. A second year like us, since they'd have needed to be around to have the proper context for certain things."

"That's assuming this is all one person," Mary pointed out. "The person who delivered it might just be an accomplice, and the actual writer of the book might not even be at the school at all. And even then, they might not be the one who originally managed to learn things they shouldn't, simply someone commissioned to use the disparate elements together into a cohesive narrative."

"It's the narrative aspect that doesn't make sense," Keith mused. "As outrageous as the rest is, why make the narrative something completely divorced from reality by having the character of Maria be some kind of… reborn soul from some strange, violent place?"

And to that, no one had a response. How could they?

"Um…" Maria said hesitantly, the first words she'd spoken since they'd entered. Everyone turned towards her immediately. She hesitated for a moment, then pushed on. "I know this is a strange suggestion, but… is it possible Lady Katarina wrote this novel? I mean… she'd already know everything regarding Rafael's secrets and Dark Magic and everything else…"

"I'll admit…" the Third Prince said slowly. "It's certainly a possibility. Katarina can have a… strange sense of humor, and I can almost see her writing some sort of novel based on the events of last year and deciding to share it with us… but…"

"Her reactions were too genuine," Sophia said. "This was a first read for her, not a reread. She genuinely didn't know the contents of the novel. And while Lady Katarina's memory is such that after a while her recollections of the things she's read fades, that doesn't seem to be the case here."

"Besides, that book was printed, not written," Mary said, grimacing. "Which implies more than one copy, as it would be an extreme extravagance to prepare printing plates for a book that thick and then printing only a single copy. At the very least, there would be test prints to see if it printed properly."

"And while sister would know where to go to buy a book, I don't think she knows where to go to have one printed," Keith said.

They all lapsed into silence.

"Then… what do we do now?" Maria asked.

"I'll need to inform father about this leak," Alan said.

"I'll conduct an investigation," his twin continued. "See if we can track down the book's printer and actual writer, and find out who our leak is."

"I suppose I should track down who might have delivered the book to Lady Katarina," said Mary. "It was delivered today, so everyone's memories should still be fresh. If someone disappeared to give Lady Katarina that book, I'll know about it."

"I'll see if I can get my hands on the book and read ahead, figure out what else the perpetrator might have thought to taunt us with," Sophia said. "Who knows, maybe they were sloppy and left an obvious clue to their identity."

"You just want to read the book," Keith said blandly.

"Look, it's interesting, all right! It's not like… like… like some book with an apple held in someone's hands on the cover!"

Chapter Text

When the group next saw Sophia, she was empty-handed and looking slightly frustrated. Lady Katarina, on the other hand, was bent over the book, had bags under her eyes, swaying slightly from a clear lack of sleep and…

"Sister, eat something," Keith said. "And those are words I never thought I'd say in my life…"

"In a minute, Keith…" Katarina said tiredly. "It's at a good part…"

"That's what you said at the start of breakfast, sister. Come on, eat something."

"In a minute, it's at a good part…"

"Sister, you're not even reading anymore, your eyes are—"

In a swift movement, Anne smoothly pulled the plate of food in front to Katarina to the side. A heartbeat later, Katarina collapsed face-first into were her food had been, the book she'd been balancing on the table falling over from now-unconscious fingers. With a practiced move, Anne pulled a thin fabric bookmark from a pocket and laid it down on the page that Katarina had stopped at before closing the book neatly.

"If you will excuse me, Master Keith, I shall take my lady back to her room to finally sleep," Anne said. "She spent all night reading that new book of hers, despite my reminders. It is fortunate that it's the weekend. She can afford to sleep the day away."

Anne gestured towards one of the Academy's servants, who scurried off and soon came back with a wheeled chair. The two maids picked up Katarina in a smooth motion and set her on the chair, her head lolling back at the motion. As Anne took hold of the hands at the back of the chair and the other maid opened the doors of the dining room, Katrina began to snore.

The door had barely closed when Sophia pounced on the now-unattended book, though she was careful to not dislodge the bookmark. "Finally! Now I can—"

"Wait until all of us can read it after breakfast," Mary said, putting one perfectly manicured finger on the cover and pushing it closed.

"But I wanna read now!"

Despite the delay, the group at breakfast quickly before choosing to retire to an unused sitting room. Specifically, Alan's sitting room, which had his piano in the corner.

"Um, your highness…" Maria said hesitantly. "Didn't you say you would be trying to track down the book's printer and writer?"

"Yes, Maria, I did. Ah, I see the confusion. No Maria, I'm not investigating myself. I have agents for that sort of thing, and informed them so the night before. Now I am simply waiting for them to report back. And speaking of which…"

He reached for the book, causing Sophia to glare at him and hiss like a cat. "No! I wanna read it!"

The Third Prince rolled his eyes. "Well, while you're reading, could you check it for the name of a printer, or even a maker's mark of some sort? It would help narrow down my investigation."

Sophia huffed. "Fine. Although I can already it's not the Outcrop publishing house, Scholarly Apple, or Chicken Books. Not their format, and it's the wrong typeface. Let's see…" She opened book and checked the very last page, then the two before that. Then she moved to the very first page, and the next two after that, before frowning. "Ugh, it's some publisher I never heard of. Probably some local town press."

"And the press is….?" The Third Prince prompted patiently.

"Some place called Someone Else's Library," Sophia said dismissively. "Just that, though. No name of the printer, no town… there's an author, but it's an obvious alias. No one actually names their child 'Shadow Crystal Mage'."

"What's that?" Keith asked.

"Doesn't say. Probably someone with delusions of grandeur keeping track of the number of his terrible poems."

"Now, be gracious, Sophia," the Third Prince said as he turned away from a black-clad man and when had that person gotten here?-! "It could be a woman keeping track of her terrible poems. Terrible writing is as much the domain of women as men."

"All right, I'll grant you that. Can I start reading now?"

Everyone rolled their eyes. "Fine, fine. Pick up where we left off yesterday."

"Finally!"

The council president was quiet for a long time. Long enough that Maria wondered whether he was ignoring her or just wasn't in the mood for conversation. That was rude, but if he didn't wish to talk, he didn't wish to talk. Maria was about to let it pass and concentrate completely on her paperwork when the president finally said, "You and Katarina Claes were made for each other."

"Lies!" Sophia and Mary screamed.

"Ladies, it's a story. Don't confuse it for reality," Alan sighed. "Can we focus on getting information from the story, please?"

Maria blinked at the non-sequitur, looking up from her paperwork. The council president had an unreadable expression on her face, but a smile of some sort seemed to be part of it…? "Why do you say that, Lord President? I assure you, I have no intention of allowing her to draw me into her harem."

President Sirius closed his eyes a moment, massaging them through his eyelids. Poor man. He worked so hard, only to find more work at the end of it. Maria hoped he was getting enough sleep. "Because you're so similar."

Similar? They were nothing of the sort! Katarina Claes was a shrewd, cunning woman who used her power to satisfy her hedonistic appetites and insatiable lusts! "I would not say so, Lord President. I am at best a noble bastard. The only way we could have any similarity is if it were secretly Duke Claes who fathered me upon my mother." Which she suspected he had, but it was not her place to air such private matters.

"Oh right, that was something she decided was true in an earlier chapter, wasn't it?" Keith sighed.

Speaking of Lady Claes' appetites did not count. Everyone with eyes knew about that.

The council president's face twisted into something more readable: a bitter smile of remembrance that Maria knew quite well. She'd have seen it in a mirror if she owned such a thing, but Cainhurst had a strong taboo against vanity, one that Maria had carried with her when she had left. Why bother with your looks when it would simply be ruined by partaking of the blood? And in the end, the blood was more important.

"Yes, that happens," the council president said, giving a short, bitter laugh. "I used to know a boy like that, you know. He… he was a good kid. But he died. I miss him sometimes."

Maria reached out a briefly squeezed his hand. "I am sorry for your loss," she said, sincerely. "Was he… a relation?"

"Y-yes," the council president said, eyes seeming to stare into nothing before he pressed them shut. Maria politely looked away. "He… could have been my brother. He could have been. Acknowledged bastards are rare, but they do happen, and I would have liked to have a brother. But he was… sickly. He died when I was young. Sometimes I wish I'd known him better. It wasn't his fault father couldn't keep it in his pants, after all." He let out another low, unamused laugh, as if taking some sort of dark amusement in the situation would help put it into perspective. There was the sound as of someone shaking their head, and then a wiping sound. When Maria looked back, his eyes were clear, his expression wan. "May I ask a personal question?"

"We need to warn Rafael," Alan said grimly. "They know about him and the real circumstances about Sirius Dieke as well, if they're blatantly foreshadowing it in the story like this."

"Is it just me, or is the book writing him really well in this chapter?" Sophia mused. "I mean, absolutely nothing like this happened, but it rings kind of tue, you know? Whoever wrote this had a good enough grasp of Rafael's way of thinking that I, as someone who knows him, thinks this feels genuine."

"Added evidence to the writer being greatly familiar with him?" the Third Prince said.

"Or they somehow have access to his journal," Mary pointed out.

"Does he actually have one?" Maria wondered.

"We can ask when we see him next," the Third Prince said.

"You may," Maria said. It was the least she could do after that intimacy.

"Why are you so against the notion of being, ah, 'inducted' into Lady Claes' harem?" the council president said. "Even if you're not into women, there would be some advantage to having her patronage. And while it doesn't seem like it, she doesn't spend as much time on debauchery as one would think." He leaned forward. "Her harem is often quite frustrated at the lack of debauchery, more often than not."

"Damn it, stop being so real!" Sophia cried. "Ah, I mean…"

"We all know what you mean, Sophia," Mary groused.

Maria blinked. "Lord President," Maria said suspiciously, "are you one of them?"

"No, no," the council president said, and actually laughed more cheerfully this time. "I have no desire to be roped into it either. Fortunately for me, she doesn't seem to want me for my looks and my tea does not seem to be so sought after as to push her towards recruitment. I was just curious, as one person on the outside to another."

Maria tilted her head, considering. "Well, as long as you swear will not pass it around…"

"Your confidence will be as safe as mine with you," the council president said.

Maria nodded. "I have circumstantial evidence that leads me to suspect Lady Claes might be my half-sibling." The council president gave her a wide-eyed, astonished look. "There is nothing definite, but still… While her own father's inability to keep it in his pants is no fault of hers, her inability to do so is," Maria said. "As much as she and Lord Claes might enjoy it, I have no wish to copulate with a relation."

"Oh wow, Keith," the Third Prince said, voice flat and bland. "The Maria in the story thinks you're engaging with incestuous relations with your sister. Surely you are outraged at this libelous attack on your character."

"Yes Keith, you must be greatly offended at this attack on your good name," Mary said, voice equally flat and bland.

"That is so hot…" Sophia breathed.

Everyone paused, turning to stare at her.

"What? It's fiction. FICTION! Don't confuse fantasy and reality. In fiction it's absolutely all right to have imaginary scenarios of completely not-real brother-sister relations!"

"I… see…" the council president said weakly. "Yes, I suppose that would be understandable. At least you and your mother were spared his wife's wrath."

Maria nodded. Given this would be the woman who'd given birth to Katarina Claes, she would have been able to utterly destroy Maria and her mother without even leaving the comfort of her own home, using only a word.

Then again, this was the woman who'd given birth to Katarina Claes. It was possible she knew of Maria's mother very well. Possibly intimately so. It would not surprise her.

"Leave my mother out of these sick fantasies!" Kieth cried.

"Really? That's what has you outraged?" Alan said.

"My mother is a respectable woman and I refused to tolerate such libel against her good name!"

"Was it a hard life?" the council president asked. "For the two of you?"

Maria considered. For Maria Campbell, that little town, of the whispers of adults and the jeering, taunting children, was the only home she'd ever known. But she was also Maria of Cainhurst, who'd left the only home she'd ever known to see more of the world, so that it would be bigger than just the walls of the castle. She had been a noble, a runaway, a student, an apprentice, a hunter and a monster. "All living is hard," she said contemplatively. "Humans merely find different ways to make it hard for themselves. I had my mother, we had our house, and though we would sometimes go hungry, it wasn't often, and there was always work to be found to earn food. It was not the best, but it was not the worst either."

"Not so bad you feel inclined to take Lady Katarina up on her offer?" the council president asked with a small smile.

Despite herself, Maria laughed. "No, not as bad as that at all. I'm a bastard, not a whore."

There was a pause. Everyone pointed didn't look at Maria, who without moving gave the impression of sinking into herself.

"Oh, forget it," Sophia said, turning to the blonde. "Ignore what this stupid book says, Maria. If being drawn to Lady Katarina being kind makes you a whore, than this room is a whorehouse."

"Nah, we don't get paid or make money," Alan said. "We're a harem."

Maria let out a surprised cough that turned into a scandalized laugh at the words. Mary rolled her eyes, giving her fiancé a withering looking that was all show. "Couldn't you phrased it more delicately?"

"Hey, don't look a time, Sophia was the one who mentioned whorehouses."

"But you've just proven my point," the council president said teasingly. "Didn't you just say the only way you and Lady Katarina could have any similarity was if Duke Claes fathered both of you?"

Maria blinked. "That is circumstantial evidence," she protested. "We are still nothing alike!"

"I wouldn't say that," the council president said. "For all that you claim that Katarina Claes is a shrewd cunning and manipulator, you are a very shrewd and cunning person yourself, Maria Campbell. I think you would be more than a match for Katarina Claes. Especially since you're very good at not making people think you are. Not everything about Katarina Claes is horrible. Being compared to her… isn't all bad," he finished with a chuckle.

Maria peered at him intently. "Are you sure you're not one of them, Lord President?"

He smiled. "I swear. I'd even go on to say I'm the farthest thing from one of them. And please, call me Sirius. I don't know why people think being in the student council is an honor. It's just a means of finding capable people to overwork! The title of Lord President is a joke. Might as well call me Head Clerk. At least it's more honest."

"Very well then, Lord Head Clerk," Maria said, and Sirius groaned.

"See? Maria is very cunning and shrewd."

A strange look came over Sophia's face. "Is it just me, or does it sound like they were being flirty?"

"No, I hear it too," Mary said. "The back and forth banter, the little jokes, the subtle compliments… that's definitely flirty behavior."

"Wait, seriously?" Keith said. "The book is actually implying some kind of attraction between Maria and Rafael?"

"From a writing perspective, it makes sense," Alan said. "He's the only named character who's romantically unattached, at least in the context of the story."

Maria made a face. "This writer has no taste," she said.

"I think we've already established that, Maria," the Third Prince said

A week later, Katarina Claes fell into a sleep from which she would not wake.

Everyone blinked. "Wait, it's skipping to sister being put into a Dark Magic sleep?" Keith said.

"And skips over Maria's disappearance," Mary said.

"Actually, that change makes sense in this instance," Maria commented. "Rafael kidnapped me because I confronted him about using dark magic. Since the Maria in the story somehow managed to remain oblivious, the Rafael in the story probably didn't feel threatened and saw no reason to detain her."

"But why still go after sister like that?" Keith said.

"In real life, it was because Katarina had somehow managed to figure out that Rafael was a Dark Magic user," the Third Prince mused. "But that was after I explained it to her and told her of the possibility a Dark Magic wielder had influenced the ones who had accused her in the dining hall. It's possible that the writer is merely reproducing events that are on the public record without knowing their significance."

"Except they clearly know about Rafael and Dark Magic to be foreshadowing them in the text," Alan pointed out. "So if they know so much, they should be able to at least connect Katarina's coma to that. You informing Katarina about the possibility of Dark Magic would likely still have happened given the context of the conversation, even if Maria wasn't kidnapped. It's possible the writer is supposing Katarina would jump to the same conclusion of Rafael being a Dark Magic wielder, confront Rafael, and then be placed in a coma."

"It's the end of a chapter, so maybe it's just a cliffhanger," Sophia suggested. "Just a dramatic sentence to end on. The next chapter should provide more context."

"Then by all means, Sophia," the Third Prince said. "Keep reading."

Chapter Text

Sophia turned to the next page and stared.

"Sophia?" Maria said once the silence had stretched on for too long. "Is something wrong?"

"It's a weird chapter," Sophia said. "I mean, it's another chapter depicting Lady Katarina's thoughts."

"Oh. Why are you hesitating, then?" the Third Prince said.

"I'm wondering whether we should skip it and move to an actual chapter of story," Sophia said. "The last time interlude like this didn't really contribute a lot to the actual story."

"We should read them in any case," Mary said. "Perhaps they'll give context as to why Lady Katarina was put in a Dark Magic sleep last chapter?"

Sophia sighed. "I suppose. But I'm not reading the dates, all right? I'm trimming these down."

"That's fair," Alan said.

Sophia began reading.

♦ Topic: EMERGENCY SESSION! DOOM FLAG ALERT RED!!!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Magic Academy ► Katarina's Brain
ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Posted On Aug 7th 2020:
Emergency! Emergency! Emergency!

Maria thinks we've been bullying her and told everyone in the Denouncement Scene! We're doomed! Doomed! We're all going to die! The only question is whether it's by sword or by dirt doll!

"Wait, what?" Keith said, sounding outraged.

"While I understand the reaction, Keith, perhaps you should wait until we have context for the statement?" the Third Prince said.

(Showing page 1 of 2)

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Technically, the in-game lore refers to it as a golem, it said so on the 'Dirt-Stained Skirt' item description. Dirt doll is a forum meme.

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR PEDANTRY! If I wanted a lesson on setting lore, I'd ask Anne stupid questions!

►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
AFK

Going to enjoy what little life we have left by looking for the good Fortune Lover hentai pics we still remember.

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Link please, I need a good fap. If I'm gonna go, then I'll go with a bang!

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
KB is a SFW forum! There will be no linking or fapping here! Don't make me call a mod!

"You were saying something about context?" Mary said dryly.

"As an artist, I can actually admire that they're doing," Alan said, sounding introspective. "This is actually a wonderful depiction of how hard it is to try and predict Lady Katarina's patterns of thought. Strange statements, no context or explanation, and having absolutely nothing to do with what is clearly a topic they're meant to be discussing. That is, I assume that's what they're meant to be discussing. They refer to themselves as a forum, after all."

"I'm curious as to the terms being thrown around," his twin said. "Some don't even have vowels! How do you pronounce them?"

"What's a fap?" Maria wondered.

"Knowing sister, it's probably some kind of food or drink," Keith said.

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Eh, what's the point. Now that Maria's turned against us, our life is over. Even if we survived the Denouncement Scene, it's only a matter of time before BAD END, YOU DIED happens...

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Chairwoman! Not you too!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
What's the fuss? We have proof that reincarnation is real. Maybe in our next life we'll end up in Fate/Stay Night!

Everyone tilted their head in the universally accepter gesture of 'trying to understand what Katarina is saying'.

"Reincarnation?" the Third Prince said. "Wait, is the story asserting that Lady Katarina is a reincarnation just like it's Maria is?"

"Thematically, it makes sense for the story," Alan mused thoughtfully. "I mean… strange thought patterns, odd behaviors, inexplicable logic… looking back on it, the foreshadowing was there."

"I'm annoyed I can't actually refute that line of reasoning," Mary said.

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
What if we end up in DokiDoki Literature Club? Or Life Is Strange? American Otome games are so weird!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
SO! This Work From Home meeting of the Katarina Council To Not Die From Bad Ends is now in session! What can we do? Where is Happy!Katarina? Why isn't she here? Adventurous!Katarina, go take away her porn and drag her back to work.

"I should probably start a list of strange words and phrases we need a definition for," the Third Prince said, pulling a notebook and pen from his pocket. "Let's see…'porn', 'fap', 'AFK', 'SFW', 'hentai', 'pics'… or is that a phrase? 'hentai pics'?"

"They're also talking about games?" Mary said. "Though what kind of a game is an 'American Otome'?"

"'Otome' has been mentioned before," the Third Prince said. "'American' might be a style of doing it."

"The others sound like titles of novels," Sophia commented. "'Life Is Strange' seems straightforward enough as a title, while I'm not sure what a 'DokiDoki' is—"

"Another one for the list, then," the Third Prince said, writing it down.

"—its positioning next to 'Literature Club' implies it's some kind of adjective."

"And more corollary evidence—or perhaps characterization—that the Katarina in the story is reincarnated," Alan said.

"Evidence?" Keith said.

"She's obsessed with death, just like Maria is."

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Understood!

►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Hey! What's the big idea! What happened to social distancing! And give me back my sweet, sweet Princest smut!

"Wait, 'smut'?" Is that what 'porn' is?" the Third Prince exclaimed.

"Oh look, we deciphered what one of the strange words means," Alan said blandly.

"Are they implying that Lady Katarina reads…! This says 'princest'…"

"I can see 'prince' and 'incest' mashed together in that word," Sophia noted.

"That's…"

"Let's move on, shall we?" the Third Prince said loudly.

"You sure?" Sophia said. "Because—"

"Moving on!"

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Silence! There'll be time for kinky Ascest smut when we survive our doom flags! Does anyone know why Maria turned against us?

"So, it has '-cest' in the end, so perhaps it also means—"

"Yes, it's implying smut about me and my brother, and it's clearly meant to be kinky. I've been hearing whispers like that for years, I'm a connoisseur of such things. Some of them are actually pretty good."

"… see, it's things like this that make people think you're creepy, Sophia," Keith said blandly.

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
I thought we'd managed to be friends! I was even willing to give her our cucumbers! The really big, long and thick one that's so juicy-looking! And our eggplants! And our carrots!

"… given the context, it's probably meant to be innuendo that she's not aware—" Maria said with reddened cheeks.

"Moving on!" Keith, Mary and the Third Prince all declared

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
It's the Abyss! This is the work of Manus!

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
For the last time, Fortune Lover isn't part of the Soulsborne Series.

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
You're just ignoring the evidence! Everyone knows the timeline! After the bad end of Demon Souls, all the stolen souls were found underground by Gwyn and his posse, starting the Age of Fire. After three games of trying to Link the Fire, the Abyss Watchers discovered the power of blood, leading to the creation of a Painted World that eventually grew up to be the land of Ashina and the power of immortality. And in the European section of that world is where Fortune Lover is set! Why else would the Armored Foreigner boss have the exact same armor as the statues in the hallway of the Claes estate? Then Maria's descendant grows up to found Raven's Nest, because of the Secret Family Cookie Recipe. It's all in the lore!

"Wow. What blatant exposition," Sophia commented loudly.

"And strangely confusing," the Third Prince said, also loudly. "In context, these seem to be the titles of a series of stories, but for some reason they're being referred to as 'games'. Are these 'American Otome' games previously mentioned? A game that's somehow also a story?"

"I can almost see how that would work," Alan mused, again loudly. "Off the top of my head, dice would be involved. Perhaps you roll dice at dramatic moments to determine outcomes in the story? Though that would be a very densely written work, if every dramatic scene leads to two or more different results…"

"But if that's the case, why do they talk about stories mentioning the Clae estate and Maria's… descendants?" Keith said.

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Would you stop repeating those VaatiVidya videos A-chan showed us! it's not like we ever played any of those games! The Third Prince is not a Pyromancer, Maria can't do Miracles, and Hexes aren't Dark Magic.

"Wait, Katarina knows what Dark Magic is?" Alan said.

"…'Vaatividya'…" the Third Prince wrote. "'Video'… 'A-chan'… 'pyromancer'…"

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Wait, there's Dark Magic in Fortune Lover?

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Of course, it's a Miyazaki game.

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Don't say that like you know what it means, the only other Miyazaki game we've played is Metal Lover, and that one was just weird.

►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
You're just salty about the Vin ending.

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
It makes much more sense that Vin is a kandra instead of that dark personality weirdness! That storyline was badly rewritten! I demand the kandra hero/ine we were promised!

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Maria, doom, can we move on?

End of Page. 1

"That's another mention of that 'Miyazaki' fellow," Alan pointed out.

"He's probably the writer of that series? Though previously he was called a 'director'," Mary said.

(Showing page 2 of 2)

►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Ugh, fine. But this isn't over!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Wait, there's DARK MAGIC in Fortune Lover?!?!?!?! What the fuck! Since when?

►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
The secret character is a Dark Magic user remember, A-chan said he was actually the central character of the series manipulating events from the shadows. You start seeing his influence after you gain over 90 Insight from finding all those Creepy Novel pages.

"…so, once more we have confirmation that the writer of this work know about Rafael, is aware of the extent of what he's done," the Third Prince said.

"And for some reason is choosing to imply that Katarina somehow knew," Alan noted.

"Which from a story standpoint would explain why she was put in a coma," Sophia said analytically. "Though that doesn't answer the question of how Rafael finds out in the story."

►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Ugh, I've been burning those things whenever we found them. Seriously, that weird vampire versus werewolves novel is creepy, especially when it starts mentioning the snakes and spiders and giant flies! And we say that as someone who got tricked into playing Saya no Uta!

►ChairwomanKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Mod) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
BANNED FOR MENTIONING THAT GAME!

►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Aug 7th 2020:
Damn it! We're not going to be able to fall asleep all week!

End of Page. 1, 2

■​

"Huh…" the Third Prince said thoughtfully. "That's witty, I sup—"

"Yes, these thoughts clearly occur around the time of the incident in the dining hall, and then the Katarina in the story falls into a coma a week later, you're very observant," Sophia said.

"Okay, that was uncalled for."

"I have to wonder why they keep referring to stories as 'games'," Alan wondered. "How can you make a 'game' out of a story? It mentions gaining 'insight' and finding novel pages."

"Maybe it's a picture book?" Maria suggested. "And there's novel pages subtly hidden in the artwork?"

"That might work…" Alan agreed. "That would be an expensive and difficult to make story. An elaborate story, elaborate artwork, enough random elements to make a game of it… these 'games' sound like a lot of hard work."

"Random elements… like multiple routes?" the Third Prince said. "Perhaps… routes that require you to accrue a certain amount of points before traversing them? And if you're on a certain route… certain characters might die?"

Everyone paused.

"I hate the fact it sounds like you're right," Mary said.

"So… this Miyazaki is a writer or director," Maria said, frowning as she sounded like she was trying to summarize. "And his works are referred to as 'games' but somehow are also stories. He's written a series of… 'game' stories, I suppose, one of which is Fortune Lover, which contains information Dark Magic…"

"That about sums it up," the Third Prince said.

Maria was still frowning. "Sophia… could you repeat the… the 'topic' of the chapter?"

Sophia blinked. "Uh, sure, give me a moment." She turned back a page, look up… and paused, starring.

"Sophia? What is it?" Keith said.

Slowly, Sophia read.

♦ Topic: EMERGENCY SESSION! DOOM FLAG ALERT RED!!!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Magic Academy ► Katarina's Brain

Everyone stared.

"Board… Fortune Lover… Sorcier… Magic Academy… Katarina's Brain…" Alan repeated slowly. "Katarina's brain is in the Magic Academy… which is in Soricer… which…" He fell silent.

His brother sighed. "And here I thought this would help make sense of things… perhaps we should have taken Sophia's suggestion and skipped it after all."

Chapter Text

"Well…" Sophia finally declared. "If nothing else, I have to give this story credit for novelty. The idea of a character of a story not only being aware she's a character in a story, but also knows about the trends of the kind of story she's in… I don't think it's ever been done before."

"That's all you can say?"

"Mary, this is a novel that asserts that Maria is somehow the reincarnation of a very violent woman who comes from a culture with a strange obsession with blood, that Lady Katarina thinks she's a character in a story, and that there is a rather extensive lore about the culture that made that story… quite frankly, if whoever this mysterious author had published literally anything else besides what we're reading, I'd be shoving bags of gold at them and demanding they take my money to write more."

"Instead, we're trying to figure out who has somehow gained access to state secrets and for some reason they're rather use what they'd learned to write this book," Alan said dryly.

"At this point, I'm almost grateful all they chose to do was write this book," his brother said. "Just these few chapters would have caused a grave scandal. Imagine if there were multiple copies of this book loose in the kingdom."

"… would I be allowed to keep one?"

Everyone stared at Sophia.

"What?" she demanded. "The books would be out in the world already!"

When Maria heard that Katarina Claes had missed a day's classes because she was sleeping and wouldn't wake up, she'd made a tasteless joke– to herself, since she had no one to share it with– that Claes was finally done fattening herself for winter and had gone into hibernation.

The Student Council room was abruptly filled with coughing. Yup, everyone suddenly just developed a cough. Even Maria.

On the second day, her harem were clearly worried. A doctor was summoned, reportedly the most acclaimed doctor in the kingdom.

On the third day, Maria was summoned to her side to use her Light Magic on her, in an attempt to see if this would ease the Lady Claes' seeming affliction.

When she arrived, she had to sigh. Even in her own bedroom, wearing admittedly more modest sleepwear than she had expected of the woman (even if they were for some reason eggplant themed), Klaes was wearing the latest noble fashion. Dark smoke seemed to emanate from all her pajamas, effervescing even through the blanket. Honestly, the vanity of this woman.

"All right, I'm going to say it," Mary said. "Maria, no offense, but book-Maria is an idiot."

"No argument there," Maria agreed.

She wondered what she was doing, doing favors for this woman whose entanglements she wanted to avoid. Oh right, Claes was a duke's daughter and Maria was a peasant, and so completely in her power.

Well, she supposed she had to try. The woman's maid was staring at her like Maria was a Blood Saint walking through a hospice, hoping for a drop of the blood in her veins. Given how tightly the maid was clutching at her skirt, it seemed like she was ready to rip it out with her fingernails.

"Another possible explanation for her obsession with blood," the Third Prince noted. "From context, blood—or at least the blood of these 'Blood Saints'—have healing properties of some sort."

"From the way book-Maria's been acting, it might also be addictive on top of being curative," Alan noted.

Oh dear, the maid was another one of Claes' lovers, wasn't she? No wonder she was so desperate. Was Claes really that goo– no Campbell, don't let your mind wander into such dungeons! That way lies dark and unknowable eldritch truths not meant for the minds of mere mortals! Stop before you start drawing nonsense like that lunatic Caryll!

They all stared at the book.

The Third Prince reluctantly turned to Keith. "Miss Shelley isn't… I mean, she's not…"

"No, of course not," Keith said, looking uncertain even as he said it. "I mean… we'd know by now, right? It's not exactly something someone can hide…"

Alan looked both extremely guilty and relieved, and seemed completely oblivious to the fact both were completely obvious.

"Perhaps Anne simply isn't affected by Lady Katarina?" Maria said, feeling very strange even as she said it.

"How could that possibly happen?" Mary said.

"Well, Anne does see Lady Katarina at her worst, such as when she's sick…"

"So, she's seen Lady Katarina at her most private, intimate moments?" Sophia said. "Like, when she's too sick to move or bathe herself, she's had to help Lady Katarina—"

"All right, first of all, when has Katarina ever been that sick?" Alan interrupted. "Secondly, Anne has been nothing but completely professional as Lady Katarina's maid, so cut it out, all right? She's old enough to have taken care of Katarina when she was in diapers, so I doubt she's had any thoughts of the sorts all of you are implying."

Everyone looked away, muttering apologies and looking chagrined.

Of course, all of them made a note to keep a closer eye on Anne, as she'd been revealed to have been as a secret obstacle they'd all overlooked all this time!

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Maria called upon her Light Magic. For all that she was attending the academy because she possessed magic, she had learned laughably little about how to use it. They had lessons on thermodynamics, fluid dynamics, petrology, hydraulics, volcanism, and even the weather, but those were meant to provide foundations for those who wielded the four common magics. Lessons meant to be a foundation for Light magic was limited to, at best, theoretical anatomy, and Maria probably knew how the insides of humans looked better than the teachers. Her knowledge wasn't theoretical, after all.

Still, people seemed to be expected to know how to use their magic instinctively. Perhaps nobles were expected to teach their own children control? Considering how young she had been when she'd begun using her magic, which was even before she had recovered her memories of her previous existence, that would certainly explain why, say, the third prince hadn't accidentally burned the capital down when he was younger. Perhaps she should count her blessings that Light Magic was what she had been imbued with instead of, to take a random example, the power to incinerate a town. Or drown it. Or drop it into a massive sinkhole. Or asphyxiate any she could see. Yes, a very good thing, Light Magic. She'd rather not be party to four atrocities in only two lives, after all.

"Four atrocities?" Mary exclaimed.

"I assume one is hypothetical, and the other three are from her previous life," the Third Prince said. "I suppose we'll have to watch out for mentions of them in the narrative."

"I understand the appeal of a protagonist with a dark and haunted past that gets healed over the length of the story, but this seems like it's going a bit too far," Sophia commented.

However, this meant that all her light magic was self-taught and lacking in subtlety. Or variation. Or the knowledge of whether it was supposed to have subtlety and variation in the first place. Especially since the way she'd always done it always seemed to work, which was to have her hand glow with a radiance only she could see—for Light Magic was, again, absolute eyeball jars at making actual light—place it on Claes' hand, and generally wishing for her well-being and health.

She'd barely managed to do that, disturbing the dark smoke wafting from Lady Claes, when Prince Alan impatiently said, "Are you doing anything? What's taking so long?"

Maria reminded herself that defenestrating a prince of the realm was unlikely to do her any favors. "Yes Prince Alan, I have begun."

Prince Alan frowned, but thankfully it was one of his accent frowns and not something more dangerous. "It just looks like you're just touching her."

"That is because, as I explained during the practical exams, Light Magic is completely useless at producing light," Maria repeated patiently, trying to bring her concentration back to Claes as the eldritch light from her hands dimmed at her distraction. "It would be very helpful if I can concentrate without distractions, if you please."

The prince snorted, but turned away. "Why is it called Light Magic, then?" he muttered.

"I have no idea, your highness. Perhaps it doesn't eat very much so it can fit into its favorite dress."

There must have been some new illness going around, as the Student Council found itself once more wracked with very intesnse and prolonged coughs.

This, at least, managed coax a snorting chuckle from him, even as the other members of Claes' harem crowded around the bed. At least none of them were actually touching Claes or her. She wasn't sure what would happen if someone other than her was touching the person she was using Light Magic upon, and she had never dared find out by experimentation. It smacked too strongly of the Choir's practices.

Maria ignored them, focusing only on Claes and her magic. It always seemed so strange that no matter how bright the eldritch light of her magic glowed, even when it glowed with the brilliance of a bonfire, that she was never blinded.

Behind her, she heard Hunt step close to the Third Prince. "Are you sure there wasn't anyone else?" she heard the woman say softly. Most wouldn't have heard it, but between her noble upbringing and her Hunter training, Maria had learned to distinguish and discern even subtle whispers, lest they be a sign of a bloodthirsty beast. Hmm, blood… "Doesn't the ministry have more experienced wielders of Light?"

Maria began to hum. Most people thought this would prevent her from hearing such a conversation. Most people would be wrong. That was why she did it.

"Campbell was closer and faster," the Third Prince responded quietly, apparently confident Maria's humming would drown them out. "The sooner whatever this thing is that Katarina's under gets healed, the better."

"I'm not objecting to the practicality and you know it," Hunt said. "I'm objecting to the participant! There's something wrong with that girl, or weren't you listening when you insisted she speak up?"

"Yes, Lady Mary, tell get them to listen to you!"

"Mary, stop talking about yourself in the third person, I here that's a sign of a disturbed mind," the Third Prince said.

"Oh, shut up, you."

"She's a commoner. It's to be expected she has incorrect ideas about the nobility," the Third Prince said.

"And the Book of Painted Aria?" Hunt said. "Or are you going to tell me that has incorrect ideas about the nobility too?" Hunt challenged.

"What choice do we have, Mary? If there's even a fraction of a chance this can help Katarina, we have to try it."

"She was bathing and drinking from a pool of blood!" Hunt said in a hiss that was almost audible. Certainly noticeable, as Lord Ascart turned to see what the noise was.

"Do you know something, you two?" Lord Claes demanded. He'd actually sat on his hands to keep from touching his sister when Maria had said she needed no interference. "What's so important you have to talk about it now?"

"It's nothing, despite Mary insisting it is," the Third Prince said, and despite him being somewhere behind her, Maria could almost feel the look he was no doubt directing at Lady Hunt. "We were just about to drop it anyway."

"Argh, why are you always like this!"

"Mary, please don't start confusing fiction and reality."

"I'm not confusing the two, I'm being very annoyed at the book's accuracy!"

Lady Hunt said nothing, but Maria could feel her glare of 'This isn't over' through the back of her neck.

It was always nice to be reminded there were factions in Lady Claes' harem. She still hadn't figured out a way to use that information to keep Lady Claes away from her, but the reminder was always useful. Maria continued on her work, trying not to think of others that had previously been in her care, and who had never gotten better, only worse…

An hour later, even after constantly bathing Lady Claes in the eldritch light of her magic, the situation remained unchanged.

"I am sorry, your highness," she eventually had to say when she began to sway in tiredness. This had been the longest she had used her magic, and it surprised her how much it had drained her stamina and focus so. "I've failed you."

"Yes, you did," the Third Prince said, sounding almost accusatory. "But you tried, at least. Thank you for your assistance, Miss Campbell."

"Then I shall take my leave," Maria said. "I'm sure the doctors would not wish me underfoot as they begin to prepare Lady Claes for intravenous infusion."

The Third Prince blinked. "Intravenous infusion?" he said.

"Intravenous infusion?" The third Prince said, blinking. He glanced at everyone else in the room, who shrugged.

"Yes. Isn't that how you were going to supply Lady Claes with nutrition while she cannot–" indulge her appetites, she just barely prevented herself from saying, "feed herself?"

"I'm… not familiar with the procedure," the Third Prince said slowly.

Maria frowned. Odd. Was medical learning even further behind in Sorcier than she realized? "It was spoken of in the ancient texts about the Marvelous Kingdom of Friedonia, a medical procedure they used to keep someone supplied with food and fluids despite extended unconsciousness, sometimes for months or years in the worst cases." And used by the Healing Church for more targeted medical infusions using only miniscule amounts of blood.

The Third Prince was suddenly before Maria so quickly he might have been her old teacher. Maria nearly Quickened out of the way on instinct. "Campbell," he said with such an intensity Maria expected him to start raving about Old Blood, "I need you to tell me everything you know about this procedure. Now."

"So we're delving into speculative fiction now, too," Sophia said. "I've never heard of this medical procedure, but it sounds like the sort of thing an armchair doctor would come up with."

"Given everything else the writer of this work has already put in the first few chapters, I suppose making up something of the sort is just a drop in the bucket," the Third Prince said. "Certainly it would be less risky than trying to get a sleeping person to try and drink water or swallow soup. Although that was never really a problem with Katarina when she was put to sleep by dark magic."

"Yes, I remember Anne feeding her little finger sandwiches," Keith said. "Just held them up to her nose and sister would open her mouth and then start chewing once the food was inside."

"Probably a very useful skill for extending hibernation," Alan commented.

A third spate of coughing spread across the Student Council, doubtless a result of not washing their hands, not maintaining a proper physical distance from other people, and not wearing masks. They're really quite comfortable. Everyone will probably be wearing them someday.

Chapter Text

After the coughing was done—though no one prudently started wearing masks—which were really quite comfortable, everyone will be wearing them in the future—the student council resumed reading.

Fortunately, Maria was able to remember the name of the book about Friedonia that mentioned intravenous infusions. She was less able to recall the book that described the procedure in detail. Because it was a complete and utter fabrication. Some of the doctors were skeptical, but the most senior doctor, the one who personally treated the royal family, had looked over the book and decided it was worth a shot, and had asked Maria to note down as much as she could remember from the other (alleged but nonexistent) book.

"Wait, she just made something up?" Keith said.

"From context, she's describing something she remembers from her past life," Sophia said. "Although I'm wondering about this 'Friedonia' place. She referred to it in the context of 'ancient texts' so it's some kind of fictional kingdom this writer invented."

"Clearly history isn't their strong suit," the Third Prince said. "There are a multitude of ancient kingdoms they could have attributed some sort of advanced but presently unknown medical techniques to without having to make up any. Off the top of my head there's…"

"Yes, we all know what all the old kingdoms were, no need to show off," Alan said, rolling his eyes.

With the assistance of the Ministry of Magic (Maria kept her distance), they had been able to fashion a device similar to the infusion drips of her old life. It was an enclosed bottle, containing a mixture of water, salts and sugars, which had been decided would suffice while others tried to concoct a primarily liquid brew that was more nutritious. The needle used was finer than any Maria had ever seen before though, a testament to Sorcier having some advantage over Yharnam from their magics. And the doctor was apparently used to drawing blood for testing purposes, as he knew how to find a vein to insert the needle into, while a Ministry wielder of Light Magic supervised in case of emergency.

"So her idea is simply to inject water salt and sugar directly into a sleeping person to feed them?" Mary said, bemused.

"It's… not really an unsound idea," Maria said slowly. "If it was done slowly, injecting water into the veins might help mitigate dehydration. And… it says 'drip', and there's a bottle. Perhaps a bottle is somehow dripping water into a syringe and mounting pressure is slowly forcing the water int other veins? The text is very vague…"

The presence of the Ministry wielder meant Maria was no longer needed, freeing her to return to her studies and duties. Of which there was now a lot of.

"I thought we were done with this nonsense!" President Sirius groaned as he and Maria worked on the Council paperwork together. "And I was just getting used to having other people in the council again after half a year of it just being me and Nicol. I knew it was too good to last."

"Yes, it is maddening, isn't it Lord Head Clerk," Maria agreed, wishing she had blood or perhaps one of those strange blue elixirs the research hall used. Something, anything to make her hand stop feeling like it was going to fall off. "One would think that in their current state, the other members of the student council would be eager for some sort of constructive distraction."

"I suppose they can't help but be worried," President Sirius said. "She is important to them, after all."

"Yes," Maria said, semi-seriously contemplating amputating her hand to make the pain stop. "I've been aware of how much of the student council consisted of her harem, but this has certainly driven the point to the heart. If the student council had any rivals, one would think this was an attempt to completely destroy us. We are functionally near-useless. Just as my hand will soon be."

"I did not miss this desire to rip my own arm off and fling it away from me, yes," President Sirius agreed. They both sighed.

"I'd be sympathetic to their plight, but if this story is following reality—and so far it has been in the broad points—then Siruas has no one to blame but himself," the Third Prince said, a small smile on his face. "How unfortunate the Maria in the story was to suffer as well."

"Not very unfortunate," Maria said, looking a little amused. "She's very annoying."

"This might be an abuse of my presidential powers, but I don't suppose I could ask you to use that Light Magic of yours on my hand, could I?" president Sirius asked.

Maria blinked. She stared at her hand. "I… had never considered using my Light Magic like that."

President Sirius blinked. "You haven't?" he said, sounding incredulous.

Maria shook her head. "I've always used it to handle physical injuries. Attempting to treat Lady Claes was the first time I've tried to use it on something other than a bleeding would or swelled and reddened flesh."

Everyone paused and turned towards Maria.

She returned with a smooth, too-innocent face. "Yes?"

"Maria…" Sophia said slowly. "Have you been holding out on us?"

"I not sure what you could be talking about, Sophia."

"Have you been using your Light Magic to get rid of hand-ache this whole time?" Mary said.

"Why would I do such a thing?" Maria said, still looking very, very innocent.

"… you have an annoyingly good poker face, Campbell," Alan said with grudging respect.

"Well, it's a school, and we're here to learn. Let's find out what happens when you do it. Otherwise I'll have to find someone to use their water magic to numb my hand with ice," President Sirius said.

Everyone—including Maria—turned to glare at Alan and Mary.

"What?" the prince said, the two affianced for once looking similarly smug. "None of you ever asked."

That did sound tempting. She had never before considered the positive points of cold. Maria imagined it covering her hand, rendering everything numb as the blood slowed, the flesh overcome by chilling cold of the heart of winter, rendering her unable to feel her extremities…

She sighed longingly. "Give me your hand then," she said. "Let us see."

Sirius moved closer, presenting his right hand to her. She touched it with her own, concentrating upon her magic. Eldritch light bloomed, and she concentrated upon his hand, imagining the light permeating it, filling its muscles. She imagined the light progressing up from the fingertips, down the back and into the wrist…

Sirius let out an indelicate groan. "Umbasa, that feels so good…"

"Lord Head Clerk, please don't be lewd," Maria chided, but she smiled as she said it.

"Is that a new characterization I see?" Sophia said, rolling her eyes. "The writer's favored pairing is pretty blatant."

"Will all of you stop looking at me like that?" Maria sighed. "He's a friend now, and I forgive him, but do you remember the room I was imprisoned in?"

"Yes, of course we do," Keith said.

"The one I was trapped in for several days."

"Yes…?" the Third Prince said.

"Then you all should have noted the presence, or rather lack, of a chamber pot."

There was a brief silence.

"Yeah, there's now getting over that," Mary agreed as even the men winced at the thought.

How long had it been since she'd smiled? Surely it hadn't been that long…

Sirius stared at his handed, flexing it and sighing again in an almost euphoric manner she'd only ever seen once, when she'd watched the Queen award her favor upon one of the Blood Kin. "Marry me," he said to Maria immediately.

"No," Maria riposted immediately, the struck with all her strength while he was on his knees, "Do your paperwork,"

"Yup, very blatant," Sophia said. "Sorry Maria, but there might be a lot more of this in the future."

Maria sighed.

"On the other hand, that's very evocative imagery just then," Alan said. "Though that exposition isn't as subtle as it thinks it is."

Sirius was thrown back into his chair with a sigh. "After you've tried to use your magic on yourself. It's unfair I'm the only one who feels this good."

"What did I tell you about being lewd, Lord Head Clerk?" Maria said, still smiling as she directed her eldritch light on herself.

She did not moan, no matter that the president said.

"Ooh, moaning already…!"

"Sophia," Maria said a bit testily. "We get it. Can you move on?"

A Katarina Dream Sequence

Everyone blinked.

"Dream sequence?" the Third Prince repeated.

"Ugh, does that mean this weirdo is going to start showing Lady Katarina's dreams now?" Mary sighed. "Or whatever his strange interpretation of her dreams he has."

"Speaking as someone who's had to wake up sister before," Keith said, "whatever this writer comes up with cannot possibly be stranger than what sister actually dreams of. I once had to wake her up because she was trying to eat her pillow in her sleep, and when I asked she said she'd been dreaming of eating a giant cake."

Everyone nodded. That sounded like Katarina all right.

Sophia paused, then looked down at the rest of the chapter. "Ah. The writer is trying to be artistic. The rest of the chapter is just the dialogue of a conversation, with no narration or indication of who is speaking to whom."

"Well, this should be interesting, then," the Third Prince said, looking amused.

"How's your playthrough of Fortune Lover going?"

"It's so hard, Acchan! Trying to get the black-hearted, sadist prince ending should NOT be this difficult!"

The third prince began writing. "'Playthrough'… I think we can all agree that the second person in the previous line is clearly Katarina, since the previous speaker is named…'Acchan'? Does anyone know who that could be?"

"And why is she showing up in Lady Katarina's dream?" Mary said.

"You'll have to take that up with the writer, Mary."

"Eh, I thought you'd start with the Isekai Hero ending?"

"No way, I'm not going to take Kazuma-kun away from Megumin-chan again! They deserve their happy ending!"

"Actually, the Isekai hero in this game is Valette-chan."

"Nani?! Where is she?"

"Well, first you need to go to the swamp in the Nightmare Frontier–"

"HARD PASS! I don't know why they had to make the game this hard! Why isn't there an Easy Mode setting? No game was ever ruined by having an Easy Mode!"

"You say that, but you're still playing, right?"

"Wow…" Alan said.. "I'm impressed. Those seven lines are practically all exposition, and all are completely unhelpful."

"…isekai hero… hard pass…" the Third Prince said. "So, this is a difficult 'game', whatever they actually mean by the term, one that is somehow still compelling despite its difficulty… I'm not sure if those are suffixes or simply parts of their strange names, though.."

"Honestly, I could be either way by the context," Mary agreed. "And something about the swamp in this Nightmare Frontier makes the 'game' markedly more difficult, such that Lady Katarina is averse to it…"

"Eh heh he, well, the item trading is kind of fun… but seriously, why is the story hidden inside the item descriptions! All the cutscenes look like they came out of a horror movie! And one of them was about climbing a tree! How did they make climbing a tree in broad daylight scary?"

"… cutscenes… movie… So 'Fortune Lover', which seems to be the story Katarina is both playing and is in… somehow… is a horror story?"

"Noy necessarily," Alan said. "It could be a story being presented using the conventions of a horror story without actually being one. Although I'm wondering what they mean that the story is 'hidden inside the item descriptions'. How would that even fork?"

Mary started snickering.

"What?" Alan asked.

"N-nothing."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Fortune Lover is supposed to be a story set in Sorcier, right? That's what the location implied a few chapters back."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, Katarina was talking about a 'black-hearted sadist prince'. Who in Sorcier could fit that description?"

"Sophia!" the Third Prince said indignantly. "How can you say such a thing?!"

"Yeah!" Alan agreed.

"I will thank you to never describe Alan like that in my presence ever again."

"Yea—HEY!"

"That's just how Miyazaki-sensei rolls."

"Miyazaki-sensei is a sadist!"

"That's also just how Miyazaki-sensei rolls. Though maybe you need a break. A bunch of guys wanted to try out this Sachiko Ever After thing they read about…"

"Take this game away from me and I will kill you and then myself."

"Heh he he… You're becoming one of us! Soon, I'll be able to get you to play Demon's Souls. Then Dark Souls…"

"Aren't those the games that always ended with you screaming into your pillow?"

On the edge of her consciousness, she thought she heard … someone… calling. She ignored it. She was talking to Acchan after all. That was more important…

"What happy-sounding titles. Nothing ominous about that at all," Keith said dryly.

"These 'games' are getting confusing," the Third Prince said, although he looked intrigued rather than frustrated. "They clearly require some sort of active participation, since they are 'played', but they relay some sort of story, and the implication is the story can end differently depending on the actions of the… Not just a reader, since they're more active. Player? Gamer? And the writers, or possibly organizers, of games are known for their tendencies and are held in some sort of regard for it…"

"And whoever wrote 'Fortune Lover' is noted as being a sadist," Sophia said dryly, "but seems to have admirers because of it rather than despite it. I wonder if the sadism is in the story or in whatever gameplay is involved?"

"I'm still wondering how you're supposed to hide the story in descriptions of items," Alan said. "Is the narration all descriptions of items, and you need to find they story from the context clues or something?"

"That would be a pretty sadistic way of writing a story," Mary said.

"It mentions item trading," Keith said. "Perhaps its some kind of card game? You have cards with descriptions of items that also contain the story, and you need to trade it among yourselves somehow, and in getting new cards you get new parts of the story?"

"That… might actually work," the Third Prince said, sounding grudgingly impressed. "Though there would needs be a way to play it solitaire, as the implication is that Katarina is playing by herself… huh. If we ever find this writer, I must get the specifics of these so-called 'games' out of them. They're proving to be a strangely intriguing concept."

"Let's do that after we've interrogated him about how he knows state secrets, all right?" Alan said dryly.

"…of course, of course…"

Chapter Text

"Could you perhaps table your discussion on bold new forms of storytelling so we can go back to paying attention to the traditional form of storytelling we're trying to decipher?" Sophia said irritably.

"My apologies, Sophia. I became carried away," the Third Prince said, falling into his 'pacify the simple-minded fools' smile.

"And stop giving me that cheap knock-off smile you got from trying to copy big brother," she accused. "It's creepy!"

"I am not copying Nicol," he said.

"Yes, you were, you were doing that droopy eye thing you do when you're trying to look as pretty as big brother and keep failing miserably."

He rolled his eyes, and switched to his 'I am going to audit your finances into poverty' smile. "How's this?"

Sophia gave a firm nod. "Much better. That looks more like you." She finally turned back to the book in her hands.

Lord Ascart eventually returned to the student council room. Maria was not above admitting she stared at the door expectantly, but there were no stragglers coming in after him.

"Is it just you, Lord Ascart?" Maria finally said as Nicol settled down at one of the desks.

He nodded. "I do not think anyone else will be in attendance," he said with bland understatement.

Maria sighed, unable to help herself, and heard an echo. She and the president exchanged a look and a quick, tired smile, before returning to their work.

"I'm glad you're back Nicol," Sirius said. "It'll be just like last year, with only the two of us on the council."

"Overworked, in pain and desperately seeking some way to put you out of your misery?" Maria said.

Sirius sighed. "Why did those days have to come back?"

"So blatant," Sophia said, shaking her head. "The shift to dialogue, the witty repartee... really, put some effort into it! Throw in a rival for Maria's affections or something, this is just flirting!"

"If it offends you so much, why are you panting like that?" Mary said.

"I didn't say it didn't like it! It's really cute flirting!"

Lord Ascart said nothing, apparently intent on the work before him, but Maria did not doubt he heard every word and simply chose not to respond. She had to wonder how Lady Claes had ensnared him into her webs. He seemed too level-headed for it to simply be base lust, as it was with the Third Prince and Lady Hunt. But then again, the strangest lusts could overcome a person. She'd once found a copy of 'How To Pick Up Fair Maidens' among Master Gehrman's books, after all.

"How To Pick Up Fair Maidens?" Keith repeated, not sounding so much incredulous as... interested.

Everyone carefully failed to meet each other's eyes.

"Just the fair maidens?" Maria eventually said, smiling slightly. "What about the sun-darkened ones?"

"A fair point, Maria," the Third Prince said. "This does not speak of the unfair ones."

"Or fair spinsters," Sophia pointed out.

"Or fair men," Mary threw in.

"I wonder if our mysterious author has considered turning their hand towards that subject?" the Third Prince mused.

"We can ask them after they've revealed their source of state secrets.", Alan said.

Idly, she wondered whatever had happened to her old comb. She never did find it when she moved to the research hall…

Maria eventually had to leave for class. She put away her work, and offered to use her Light Magic on them before she stepped out. Sirius accepted readily, and managed not to make any embarrassing sounds once the deed was done and she had used her hand to bring him relief.

"Oh, that was deliberate," Sophia declared.

"What was?" Maria asked.

Sophia hesitated. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"We're the same age," Keith pointed out blandly.

Lord Ascart was more hesitant, but eventually accepted her offer, flexing her hand experimentally afterwards.

"A most wonderful remedy," he said, his face as inscrutable as ever. "A pity it didn't work on Katarina."

"Yes, it is most regrettable," Maria agreed. "Else we would have more hands to deal with the council's work. Good day, my lords." She bowed and exited the room.

…………………………………​

Nicol Ascart stared after the second most inscrutable person he has ever met, trying to parse if that was sincere or sarcastic.

"Nicol is calling someone inscrutable?" the Third Prince said, looking amused. "All right, I can appreciate that bit of irony."

"It says second most," Mary said. "Who would be---oh, right."

Everyone nodded in agreement at the most likely candidate for 'most inscrutable person' was.

"She probably actually means it," Sirius said, his face still mildly euphoric at the relief his hand was feeling. To be completely honest, Nicol could share the sentiment. "As someone who also knows what it's like to do the work of the entire council with only two people, you should understand her view. While we're on the subject, how is Lady Katarina? She must be improving if you've decided to come back."

At those words, Nicol's face goes smoother than usual. "Her condition is unchanged, although the experimental procedure the doctor authorized looks to be effective at maintaining her health."

"So she's not going to wake up any time soon?" Sirius said. "Why are you here, then?"

Nicol turned back to work. "There is work to be done," he said quietly.

Sirius gave him a penetrating stare, but better men and women have tried that on Nicol. "If I brought all the student council's paperwork to Lady Katarina's room, do you think the others would get back to work?"

Nicol wasn't sure whether to be amused or offended by that proposition. "I… don't think that will be taken well. "

Sirius sighed. "Well, I had to ask."

"Why is the Rafael in the story funnier than the real Rafael?" the Third Prince said.

"That was funny?" Alan said dryly.

"Oh, if he'd tried that in real life I'd have made him regret it, but in the context of the story it's pretty amusing."

Over the following week, other members of the student council slowly trickled in. Lord Claes was morose and distracted, and Maria had to return his papers more than once due to incorrect and illegible entries. Prince Alan was moody and short-tempered, using his pen to attack the papers like they had mortally offended him and intended to punish them, and their children, and their children's children, for evermore. The Third Prince came as an icy storm, eyes burning with fire that wished to be unleashed yet had none on which he may spend his fury. His work was still perfect as ever, of course. And finally, near the week's end, Lady Hunt came, her step petulant and her tongue sharp, as often as not interrupting her work to pace distractingly back and forth, casting glances upon the spot where Lady Claes would usually sit.

"... yes, that all sounds about right," Maria said, slightly amused.

Everyone else had their face twisted with mixed feelings. "I want to say they're wrong, but I can't see how..." Keith said, his words begrudging.

"Why isn't it describing Sophia's reaction?" Mary said, voice slightly petulant.

With each appearance, the student council president looked more and more relieved, and on the first day when all five where in the room together, Maria could hear him praising the sun under his breath. Maria agreed, though she didn't say so as openly. As a peasant, it was not her place to cast judgement on her betters.

Still, Maria enjoyed the sounds of productive work being done and, more importantly, not all by her and one other person. Perhaps she'd finally have a chance to go back to training in the morning. She'd be feeling a little pent up lately, but with everyone back and time in her hands again she's have a chance to go back out into the woods and just let loose all her stress…

She looked forward to it.

Lady Ascart remained absent.

"Ah, that's why," Mary said, then looked very offended. "Wait, why would I leave Lady Katarina's side before Sophia would?!"

"Mary, don't confuse fiction and reality," Keith said blandly.

"I'm not confusing them, I am indignant at the blatant mischaracterization! This author doesn't seem to like me for some reason! They keep making jokes at my expense!"

A Katarina Dream Sequence

"Oh, another one?" Alan said, turning his notebook to a new page.

"How's your playthrough of Fortune Lover going?"

"Eh, I decided to switch targets for a while and go for the playboy heir. It's kinda weird though, I keep finding his lore in different sets of women's underwear. Why would they be in their underwear? He's boy!"

Mary's face twisted in distaste. "Whoever this 'target' is, I dislike them already."

"As they are still discussing 'Fortune Lover', I'll assume they're continuing from their previous conversation," Alan said. "Which implies the 'game' has a way to change the course of the story mid-progression, since Katarina seems to be finding the 'sadist prince' story difficult to progress through.'"

The Third Prince patted his brother on the shoulder. "Don't worry Alan, I'm sure that Katarina will progress your route some--"

"That moniker is clearly referring to you, you ass!"

"I wonder who the 'playboy heir could be?" Keith mused. "Given the setting is the Academy, that description is apt for a lot of people. Nearly everyone is an heir of some sort, and while 'playboy' is too vague a description to help narrow it down, the fact that the items related to him is different sets of women's underwear... could it be refering to a lecher?"

"That doesn't narrow it down either," Maria said blandly.

Everyone turned towards her, but her face was blank.

The Third Prince slid his notebook and a pen towards her. "Miss Campbell, would you be so kind as to provide a list of people you feel would fit that description? For research purposes, of course."

For a moment, Maria hesitated. Then a thought seemed to occur to her, and her face firmed, and she took the pen and began writing. Then she paused and looked up. "The term used is 'playboy', so I should probably limit it to men, shouldn't I?"

"I think for the sake of completeness you should be as thorough as you feel you need to be, Miss Campbell," the Third Prince said with a smile. It was his 'You dare? You court death' smile.

"You're just a precious cinnamon roll, aren't you Tae-chan?"

"Huh? Cinnamon roll? I thought I was a monkey girl?"

"Such a precious cinnamon roll…"

"I'm already feeling bad for this 'Acchan'," Sophia said with a smile. "Even in her dreams, Lady Katarina is... Lady Katarina."

Everyone nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

"EH?! Make sense Acchan! I'm having a really hard time getting through these four routes. Can you help me?"

"Actually, there are eight routes in Fortune Lover."

"NANI!"

The Third Prince made to take a note, but realized Maria was still writing and didn't seem to be stopping any time soon. Wordlessly, Alan slid his notebook and pen towards his twin. "...nani..." he wrote.

"Yup, eight routes, with twenty different endings in all. Although everyone agrees the UFO where it turns out Maria is an amnesiac alien from outer space ending is non-canonical."

"... outer space..." He tilted his head. "Non-canonical? Are these games somehow used as a legal standard?"

"At this point, it wouldn't surprise me," Alan said.

"Let me guess, there's no flag markers that tell you what ending you're on, are there?"

"Nope!"

"Miyazaki-sensei, you sadist! But wait, I only know about the four capture targets, who are there others?"

"Well, there's Valette-chan–"

"Still a hard pass, that swamp sucks!"

"Then there's Sienna-chan,---

"Wait, I recognize that name," Mary said. "There's only one person named 'Sienna' in the Academy. Sienna Nelson. She's one of the girls who hangs around Lady Katarina."

"Hmm... that might be significant, especially since she's noted as being another 'capture target'," the Third Prince said. "Do you know her, Maria?"

Maria hesitated. "She used to bully me when I first came to the academy," she said, "but stopped soon after I met Lady Katarina. I've seen her around Lady Katarina now and then, but she's simply pretends she doesn't know me."

"Did you put her on the list?" the Third Prince asked.

Maria shook her head. "No. You asked for lechers, and at best all she did was say a few hurtful things. If it wasn't for this conversation, I would have never remembered her." She slid the notebook and pen towards him.

but you need either the pre-purchase bonus code to get her, or the season pass D---

"Dilk?" the Third Prince said, bemused.

Sophia shrugged. "I don't know how to pronounce it. It's three letters, all consonants and no vowels."

"Damn it, why does there need to be so many microtransactions! Who else?"

"Ah, she doesn't get patched in until The Old Lovers DLC comes out next month, but rumor is she's a mature older woman who's a high-spec meido character with a tragic past!"

"Eh?! So many attributes AND another yuri route too?"

"...yuri... high-spec... meido... that description is far too vague. Barring their pasts, it could describe several of the teachers in the Academy."

"And it doesn't say what counts as 'tragic'," Sophia commented. "For all we know, it could be anything from having her betrothed stolen from her to losing her whole family in the civil war."

"Maria-chan's heart is wide enough to accept anyone! It's what makes her the protagonist!"

Everyone paused. Slowly, they all stared at Maria.

"So..." Sophia said slowly. "Maria is the protagonist of 'Fortunate Lover'. That implies---"

"Don't confuse fiction and reality!" Maria cried. "It's the story, not real life!"

"Actually, she's kind of distant and lonely a lot of the time… Hmm? Why did I say that?"

"…m-maybe your blood sugar is a little low?"

"Maybe… wait Acchan, that's just seven capture targets! Who's the last one?!"

"(Whew)Ah, you see, they're the super secret capture target. Have you been collecting the Creepy Novel pages like I told you?"

"(Whew)?" Mary said, raising an eyebrow. "(Whew)?"

"Yeah, that's definitely suspicious," Sophia said. "It seems like this 'Acchan' isn't just a part of Lady Katarina's dream, if she's somehow actively deceiving her like this."

"Honestly, this story is so strange nothing is really surprising me anymore," Alan said. "That said, perhaps his 'Acchan' is a representation of the Dark Magic that's keeping the Katarina in the story unconscious. That would explain a lot."

"Actually, that sounds exactly like the sort of thing this hack of an author would write," Sophia agreed.

"Those pages are a pain in the ass! Seriously, why are we looking for the pages of a vampires versus werewolves novel? Fortune Lover doesn't even have any of those!"

"It wouldn't be a secret character if their questline didn't need a lot of item collecting, right?"

"Now, see there?" the Third Prince said. "I have to challenge you on that conclusion, Alan. 'Acchan' is far too familiar about 'games' to be part of the sleep spell. Despite the liberties they've taken in terms of personality, the writer has been rigorous in adhering to strict facts in matters of magic, and if they know as much about Dark Magic as this work implies, I don't see how it would be any different. And as far as we know, Dark Magic does not work in such a way. So 'Acchan' is likely a part of the dream, and is simply deceiving Lady Katarina about something within the context of the dream."

"But she only reacted when Lady Katarina espoused behavior where she recalled something from outside of the dream, and actively tried to distract her from the recollection," Alan countered.

"Boys, can we save the comparative literature for after we finish the chapter?" Sophia said.

On the edge of her consciousness, she thought she heard… someone… calling. She looked around.

"What is it?"

"I thought I heard… Never mind. So, no spoilers, but how exactly do I get started on this secret character besides the pages…"

"Well, first you need to light the bonfires in the royal crypt, the secret room behind the lost duke's study, the island prison and the gulch…"

"There's no bonfire in the royal crypt, is there?" Mary asked.

"I don't believe so," the Third Prince said. "If there were, the servants who clean it would probably notice. We also don't have a prison on an island, and 'lost duke' could apply to any number of dukes who vanished under mysterious circumstances."

"Wait, there are more than one? How is the kingdom misplacing dukes?"

"Well, there's Duke Fortunato who disappeared in his own wine cellar, Duke Baggins who vanished during his birthday party and was never seen again, and if we're counting all bearers of duchal titles, there's Duchess Aerhart who was traveling across the kingdom, along with her carriage and all her attendants... "

Chapter Text

The number of dukes and duchesses who simply disappeared—not died, not found dead, simply disappeared without a trace—was actually quite disturbing for Keith, especially since the matter had never come up in his studies to prepare to inherit the title of Duke Claes.

"They're probably all assassinations of some sort," the Adversary And Enemy of the Alliance said casually. "I'm fairly certain that the disappearance of Duke Oranj was because of Marquis Apfel. When it comes to enmity, there's just no comparing with Apfel and Oranj."

"Are you done threatening to make Keith disappear?" Sophia said, making Keith twitch at the confirmation that he hadn't been paranoid for thinking that The Adversary And Enemy Of The Alliance had been taking far too much delight in enumerating how dukes had disappeared. "We have more book to go through."

"He's done," Alan said, giving his brother an exasperated look.

Several days later, Lady Ascart had yet to return. This was concerning, as it often prompted Lord Ascart to neglect his council duties to go to her, setting off a chain reaction of the other members of Lady Claes' harem leaving as well.

"Aaand we're back to being called a harem," Mary said indignantly, her face reddening with outrage.

"It's outrageous, is what it is," Keith said, equally red with outrage.

"Yes, everyone knows a harem would be superfluous next to big brother," Sophia said, face red, possibly not from outrage.

Everyone glared at her save for Maria—who just went redder—but couldn't actually say anything to refute that.

"As a peasant, I have no influence over the outcome of who ascends to the throne," Maria said after she and Sirius had watched the door close behind the last of them, "but it seems to me that having a prince who neglects their duties for their lover would be a poor king. As a general observation."

Everyone turned to give the Third Prince and Alan raised eyebrows.

"Oh, like you're not neglecting student council work either," the former scoffed.

Alan, at least, had the good grace to look chagrined.

"As the heir of a marquess, I'm allowed a strong opinion on the matter," Sirius said, "and while I would theoretically agree, can we not say that in front of the people we want to do the paperwork."

"Wise words, Lord Head Clerk," Maria said. "I can see why you possess the completely superfluous title of Lord President of the Student Council."

"Huh... all right, that was actually a fairly witty exchange," Sophia said. "Do you think Rafael ever saw us as 'the people who should have been doing paperwork but weren't'?"

"If he did, he has only himself to blame," Maria said, looking miffed.

Everyone remembered the lack of a chamberpot and moved.

One morning, as Maria did not wake up from eldritch dreams, she found in her wanderings of the grounds after her morning training that she had found Katarina Claes' infamous alleged garden.

It was… actually quite orderly, really. The crops showed signs of maintenance and care, beyond that currently being provided by Lady Hunt, who was dressed in a strange green garb. Maria was about to step away when Lady Hunt looked up and froze as their eyes met.

Naturally, Maria couldn't just leave then. Some nobles could be quite touchy at being ignored. She bowed. "Good morning, Lady Hunt."

"Good morning, Miss Campbell…" Lady Hunt said slowly. "What brings you out this early?"

"Habit," Maria said honestly. "I take it this is Lady Claes famous garden?"

Lady Hunt's eye twitched for some reason. Had she perhaps not been sleeping well? "Yes. Someone needs to take care of it until Katarina comes back."

"Why is Mary the one taking care of big sister's farm?" Keith said indignantly. "I'm her farming assistant!"

"Clearly they're aware I'm a better gardener," Mary said smugly.

"Aren't you the gardener who didn't realize sister's crops were wilting because they were under the shadow of a tree?"

"I was eight!"

Maria nodded. Yes, someone like Lady Claes would not doubt have had the foresight to make preparations for all eventualities. She had to wonder what orders the others had received, what unknowable tasks they had been assigned in the event of their mistress's incapacitation. Were there even now machinations turning to extract vengeance on some suspected party, or even just some fool who the Lady Claes did not wish to outlive her? Once more she can only marvel at the cunning and intelligence of the woman, obscured as it usually was by her hedonistic image of insatiable lust.

…

Maria sincerely hoped there were no orders for her disposal. Lady Claes did not seem the jealous type, despite her attempts to possess Maria, given how she had tried to bait Maria with the men under her thrall.

"Ah... I almost forget this Maria thought sister was some sort of Vetinarian schemer who used her immense intellect to try to get Maria into bed with her," Keith said, looking almost embarrassed at all the big words being attributed to Katarina in the story. "Seriously, how divorced from reality does someone need to be to see big sister like that?"

"I'd say it undermines the story's characterization of Maria as an intelligent woman, but I actually have met people who overestimate Katarina like this when they first meet," the Third Prince said. "Then she starts talking and they correct themselves. So it's theoretically possible that someone who's inclined to overestimate Katarina would attribute... adjectives... to Katarina instead of... Katarinaness."

"How smooth and eloquent of you," Sophia said dryly.

"Thank you."

"Wouldn't it just be easier to say 'Lady Katarina isn't very smart'?"

Maria considered the angle of the sun, the distance to her dorm and her morning schedule. "Do you require assistance, Lady Hunt?" she offered. While the marquess' daughter might be willing to grub about in the dirt under the orders of her mistress, Maria found it unlikely she had much experience doing so, or indeed liked it at all. Lady Hunt was widely known to be the perfect lady, and perfect ladies did not grub about in the dirt. They had servants for that sort of thing. Huh, had Lady Hunt managed to displease Lady Claes somehow and this was some sort of punishment assignment?

"...I can see why she'd come to that conclusion, but I find myself being indignant anyway," Mary said. "Lady Katarina is obviously the perfect lady!"

"Not according to mother," Keith said.

Lady Hunt gave Maria a suspiciously look, which was completely understandable. "Why are you offering, Miss Campbell? I don't think you have any reason to want to help me tend Lady Katarina's garden."

"We are both members of the student council, Lady Hunt. We must all assist each other, lest the paperwork never get done," Maria said blandly, knowing the hint was completely unsubtle.

"I'll admit, there's something amusing about how the book depicts her as obsessed with paperwork," the Third Prince said, chuckling. "As shallow characterizations go, it's not the worst. Still absolutely nothing like the real Maria, but amusing in her way."

"Thank you...?" Maria said, not sure if she was being complimented.

Lady Hunt looked at her as if she'd grown some sort of strange, eldritch protrusions covered in phantasms.

"If you wish to refuse, that is also your prerogative," Maria clarified. "I'm sure the president would understand."

Lady Hunt sighed deeply. "I… would welcome your assistance," she said with equanimity. "Thank you for the offer."

Maria bowed. It wasn't even a little bit smug at all, honest.

"She was definitely smug," Alan said, and everyone nodded.

Then the Third Prince titled his head thoughtfulyl and turned towards Maria. "Huh... actually, what do you look like when you're being smug, Maria?"

Maria gave him a tranquil smile. "Do you really want to know, your highness?"

The Third Prince considered what circumstance would result in Maria looking smug. "Actually... never mind."

Mary liked to think she saw the best in people, after Katarina had shown her how. She was willing to admit that had he not been a rival, she'd have regarded the Third Prince as a brilliant, amazing human being of near-unparalleled skill and talent instead of the way she regarded him now, which was as The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance. And even then she could still manage to find something backhanded to compliment him with in front of Katarina, who would be heartbroken if she saw them fighting.

"I'm the what?" the Third Prince exclaimed.

Everyone else tried not to look guilty and not meet each other's eyes, even as they silentlt tried to ask each other how the book could possibly know what they called The Adversary And Enemy Of The Alliance.

"That's an awful name," said The Adversary And Enemy of The Alliance. "Please tell me you at least call me something better than that when you're plotting against me."

"We call you something better than that when we're plotting against you," Maria said immediately assured him.

The Adversary and so on so forth sighed in relief. "Oh, good."

Everyone else tried to do their best to memorize what Maria looked like when she was blatantly lying to someone's face, in case that expression was ever directed at them.

Maria Campbell however was a mystery wrapped in an enigma buried inside a mind whose greatest desire was to be covered in and consume blood, and Mary didn't think it was unreasonable of her to be leery of the woman-thing. There was clearly something wrong with her head. How could there not be, when she was completely unable to understand the absolute wonderfulness and perfection that was Katarina Claes?

"Mary is very well characterized, I see."

"Oh, shut up, Stuart."

At first Mary had thought it was because she was a commoner. Everyone knew about commoners, who were… well, commoners. Fine folk, very important to the proper running of the country, even if they weren't as bright as a noble and tended to slack off when you weren't watching. Lady Katarina got along with them very well, and they generally seemed to regard her favorably, but that was only right and proper, because she was Lady Katarina and she can do no wrong. Do incorrect, quite often, but never any actually wrong.

Granted, this image didn't quite fit with Maria Campbell, who was diligent, hardworking, intelligent, and who diligently, intelligently worked hard to avoid Lady Katarina at seemingly every opportunity, no matter how Lady Katarina tried to become friends with her. It had shocked Mary to her core when she first saw it, finding someone who so twisted as to reject Lady Katarina's hand of friendship.

"Yes, this character is a twisted person."

"You really don't like her, do you Maria?"

Still, despite this, the girl was polite enough when forced– literally forced, since she always found the smallest excuse to leave– into Lady Katarina's company. Mary had even been disposed to think well off her, after she had saved Mary's life many times during the practical exam. Everyone was even willing to write it all off as a strange commoner quirk, especially when someone pointed out that as a peasant, it would have been very improper of her to allow herself to become familiar with Lady Katarina.

So they had been willing to accept the girl as one of the few people (like Anne, the gardener Tom, and the Claes' Head Maid) who they would never have to view as competition for Katarina's attentions.

"And sometimes I'm not really sure about Anne..." Mary muttered.

And then Mary had read Maria's desires as revealed by the Book of Painted Aria, and suddenly she had been less willing to be so relaxed about the woman being around their Katarina! Her mind was clearly twisted by some sort of depraved deviance, but try as she might, none would believe her. Don't they remember those tales about Goodwife Bathory who ambushed good nobles who came to passed by her home and bathed in their blood and made pies out of their flesh?! Don't they realize those stories had some sort of truth to them, or why else would they be around? The nobles' paranoid fear of a dissatisfied underclass rising up from the shadows to destroy them all with sheer numbers? No, it was obviously to warn of women EXACTLY like this!

"Goodwife Bathory? Isn't it Marchioness Bathory?" Maria said, confused.

Everyone looked at her.

"That would actually explain a lot," Keith said.

As such, Mary didn't turn her back on Maria as the woman began working on Katarina's precious garden. Didn't she realize what an honor this was, being allowed to work on something Katarina loved? Granted, Katarina wasn't here, but it was the principle of the thing!

Maria was… actually quite good at the gardening work, pulling up weeds and examining crops with practiced surety. She didn't act anything at all like someone who accused Lady Katarina of outrageous things in public, like having a ha…a har… Well, outrageous things! Everyone might have laughed it off as a silly commoner misunderstanding her noble betters, but Mary wasn't fooled! Maria Campbell was a dangerous person who needed to be watched!

"Oh no... there are two of them overestimating people now," Sophia said.

"Hey!"

…

Plus she was working on Lady Katarina's beloved fields, so she needed to be watched anyway! Mary WASN'T being paranoid no matter what smarmy princes thought, damn it! She was going to watch Maria Campbell like a hawk at all times to make sure she wasn't a danger to Katarina!

…

Well, at least until Lady Katarina woke up, then Mary might have to think of some kind of schedule… ARGH! Hex you Maria Campbell, making Mary even consider doing something besides being with Lady Katarina!

"Mary... be honest... did you right this book?"

"What's that Stuart? You don't want me to give you ice for your hand later no matter how much you beg?"

"You realize I can just ask Alan, right?"

"Alan, please do your fiancee a favor and don't give your brother any ice."

"...sure."

"Alan, you traitor!"

Ah, wait, if Mary was with Lady Katarina all the time, then watching Maria Campbell wasn't a problem!

"Lady Hunt, I've finished with this side. Are you about done, or would you like me to assist?"

Hexes, when had that woman gotten so close? But Mary didn't allow herself to react. If a commoner senses you're afraid, then they'll become more aggressive and start mobbing you– wait, that was for dogs, wasn't it? "I'll be done soon, Miss Campbell. Why don't you go ahead without me?"

"Yes, Lady Mary, that's dogs."

"You too, Maria?"

"I just want to make sure no one has any misconceptions about commoners from reading about crazy people who just happen to be commoners."

"Are you sure?" Maria said. "You might be late for class."

"A lady is never late. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means too," Mary said, though she did subtly quicken her pace a little.

"While I, a mere commoner, would never dare challenge that statement," Maria said, "I do not believe our professors share my position."

"I can tend to my side, Miss Campbell," Mary said. "Off with you, you need to prepare for class."

"As you wish, Lady Hunt," Maria said. "I will see you in the student council room later."

Mary was, in fact a little late, but that was no one's business but her own!

And then she went to the student council room to do paperwork, because an implicit deal was an implicit deal. Hex you, Maria Campbell! Hex you and all your paperworks, and all your sweet, sweet pain relieving light magic, ohh, that feels so good…

"Mary, are you sure you're not—"

"Finish that sentence, Stuart. I dare you."

A Katarina Dream Sequence

"Another one of these?" Alan sighed.

"Hmm... I think we're getting one until the chapter where Lady Katarina wakes up," Sophia said.

The Third Prince opened his notebook again. "All right. What strange new words do we explore this time...?"

"T-Tae-chan, aren't you done with Fortune Lover yet?"

"Wait," Alan suddenly said. "What did she say?"

Sophia paused and repeated the line. Then she paused again. "Who is 'Tae-chan'?"

"Has she been mentioned before? I thought this was Lady Katarina's dream."

Sophia flipped back to the previous chapter. "Yes, she has! She was mentioned when Acchan was calling Lady Katarina a cinnamon roll. Only, I guess she was calling this 'Tae-chan' a cinnamon roll, who... i guess is the person she's talking to? I can't believe we missed it!"

"So... even though this is meant to be Lady Katarina's dream... she's not actually in it?" Keith said. "This 'Tae-chan' girl is?"

"Not necessarily," the Third Prince said thoughtfully. "Remember, we concluded that the story was implying that Lady Katarina was also reborn because she shared Maria's obsession with death. Perhaps this isn't a dream but a memory of that previous life?"

"But why is she called 'Tae-chan' then?" Mary said.

"Most likely, it was her name in her previous life, since it's clearly not a normal name," Alan mused. "It emphasizes the literal otherworldliness."

"That... makes about as much sense as anything else we've read in this book," Mary sighed. "All right, Sophia, keep reading."

"It's really hard Acchan! I keep getting told 'Bad End, You Died' and get sent back to the save point! When I try to take the shortcut behind the gym my 'Flustered' bar starts to build up and I die! Why is there an instant death mechanic in an otome game? Whose bad idea was– you're going to tell me it's a Miyazaki-sensei thing, aren't you."

"Yeah, this 'Tae-chan' is definitely sister," Keith said, nodding.

"...save point..." the Third Prince wrote. "Although the providence of this word is obvious. Clearly it's like in crocket, where if you go out of bounds you need to go back to a specific point."

Everyone stared at him.

"What?"

"You actually know what the rules of crocket are?" Keith said disbelievingly.

"The game isn't that complicated."

"Brother, literally only you and old men clearly making up the rules as they go along think that."

"She's learning! Soon… soon… Wait, if you've been getting Flustered by taking the shortcut behind the gym… Tae-chan, the boy's locker room is behind the gym, your Flustered bar is going up because Maria is seeing through the windows while they're getting changed. Naughty-naughty Tae-chan…

"EH?! Nooo! Maria's not that sort of girl! I don't think she even has any interest in boys! Or… anything really. I'm kinda sad for her… I wish she'd let me be her friend. No one should have to go to school so lonely… even if I'm risking a doom flag, I want her to have some friends… Is it my fault? Do I suck at playing this game so much Maria didn't get any affection points with anyone…?"

"Wait... what was that?" the Third Prince said.

"Oh, it's probably Katarina—or Tae-chan, in this case—remembering details from the real world in her dream," Sophia said. "It's a common thing in dream sequences."

"Really?"

"Who's read more novels here, you or me? that's just how things happen... in novels."

"Sophia... did you pull out those reading glasses just to pose like that?"

"Well, it's not like i use them for anything else!"

"(Cough)Er, what if I give you some hints? After all, I'm sure you're tired of all those 'Bad End, You Died' screens, right?"

"WHY ARE THEY EVEN THERE!? Why are they rubbing it in your face you screwed up? Is it fun for them? Do they enjoy tormenting their players?!?!"

"M-maybe you should take a break then, it's starting to sound–"

"Acchan, what did I say I would do if you took this game away from me?"

"You're… really getting into the game, aren't you. "

"I managed to join the Dorm Defenders covenant! Do you have any idea how hard that was?"

"That's… literally the easiest covenant to get into."

"Not if you're playing with the internet off so those weird ghosts don't start popping up everywhere."

"...internet... do you think these 'ghosts' are an affectation of the game or she means literal souls of the dead haunting the living?"

"With this book, both are equally likely," Sophia said. "It seems that kind of book."

"Yeah, still easy, you just have to talk to the dorm mother as soon as classes let out."

…

"So I went to all that trouble to go to the secret hot springs for nothing?"

"Why would you go to the secret hot springs to talk to her? That's only if you're trying to advance Sienna-chan's route, since the dorm mother is one of the rival characters for her. And I thought you weren't going to spend money to download her route?"

…

"This game is so hard, Acchan!!!!"

"So, you want those hints, then?"

"No! No spoilers!"

"(Damn it Katarina, wake up already!)"

"Wait, what? She called her Katarina! Acchan called her Katarina!" Mary pointed dramatically.

"I knew there was something suspicious about Acchan!" Sophia declared.

"Didn't you say she was a representation of the Dark Magic keeping sister asleep?" Keith said. "She clearly wants sister to wake up."

"It was a logical theory for what we knew at the time!"

"Eh? Did you say something Acchan?"

"Er, I was saying that if you had trouble getting the secret character–"

"No hints!"

"(Damn it!)"

"So... some person is affecting Katarina in her dreams? But they're benevolent, or at least wants her to wake up," Alan summarized. "Or it could just be more dream logic..."

"Ugh, I hate this book!" Sophia cried. "The more I read, the more questions it raises!"

"Then why are you smiling?" Mary asked.

"I didn't say that was a bad thing!"

"You literally just said you hated it," the Third Prince pointed out.

"It's an art appreciation thing, brother," Alan said. "You wouldn't understand."

"I'm fairly sure I can understand what 'hate' means, brother."

"No, you don't," Sophia and Alan chorused. Their gazes met and they both nodded, exchanging smug, knowledgeable smiles.

"You two are really annoying when you're being art snobs," Keith sighed.

Chapter Text

To get the art snobs to stop being art snobs, they continued reading the book.

Slowly but surely, they managed to make progress dealing with the paperwork, even with the chronic manpower deficits. Maria soon managed to get used to the new normal ratio of schoolwork, councilwork, training, and not having to work to avoid Katarina Claes cornering her in some lonely corner to have her way with her.

"Oh no, that would be such a terrible fate," Sophia said blandly. "Help, help."

"There's something very sad about reading the thoughts of a madwoman completely divorced from reality," Maria said, probably in agreement.

"Does that mean we're ruling out the possibility that Katarina wrote this and somehow forgot?" Alan said.

"Brother, stop being an art snob."

"How was that being an art snob?!"

The school was, of course, filled with rumors regarding Lady Claes sudden infirmity. She had been poisoned by a political rival, a foreign state was trying to destabilize the kingdom, some foolish hopeful was angling to be betrothed to the Third Prince, Lady Claes was secretly pregnant and this whole thing was a cover-up to conceal the fact that she was even now giving birth to her secret lovechild who had been sired on her by… well, there were many to pick from. One permutation of the rumor had said that Lady Hunt was the father and that she had secretly been a man all this time, a claim so outrageous Maria had to pause to consider it.

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"You know why," Keith said.

"I am not a man!"

"I'm afraid we're going to need to see proof," Sophia said brightly.

"If you weren't holding that book, your face would be so wet right now..."

As time went on, life fell into an easy rhythm, helped by number of fools whose arms Maria had to break or defenestrate finally dropping to nothing. It was the sort of peaceful life she'd gotten used to in her town, absent only all the visitors seeking to adopt, hire, sponsor or stare at her like some sort of Pthumerian artifact on display to the masses.

Everyone paused, turning to glance at Maria. She looked away.

"Is this something that really happened?" Sophia said.

"I've heard that commoners capable of magic tended to be adopted by the local noble houses," the Third Prince said thoughtfully, "but..."

"It's fine," Maria said, still looking away. "Even if... well, at least they asked and went away when we said no. Eventually. Really, it's all right."

The Third Prince and Mary exchanged a look and both nodded. Alan saw this, frowned and opened his mouth... then glanced at Maria and changed his mind.

Sophia coughed loudly and went back to reading. And if her voice was a little bit louder than before... well, that was completely normal.

For the first time in a long, long time, the girl who called herself Maria was… content. She had needful work, constructive pursuits, relative freedom and there was no blood to call her to her undoing. She let herself breathe free.

Wouldn't it be great if I could continue living these carefree days? For some reason, this thought floated into Maria's mind…

"Please stop looking at me like that," Maria said. "While I appreciate the concern, I am happy. Please don't confuse the story with reality."

Keith reached over and awkwardly patted her on the shoulder.

A Katarina Dream Sequence

"Another one?" Mary cried.

"Don't worry, this is the last one."

"Ugh, fine!"

"Hey, Acchan, Acchan, wanna know how my playthrough of Fortune Lover is going?"

"You're frustrated, lost, confused by the layout, wondering why they don't include a map, found three more reasons to think Miyazaki-sensei is a sadist, wondering why you're still playing this game, wondering if all this self-abuse means you have some sort of psychological condition, managed to achieve something that made you forget all that, but still basically made no progress on your chosen route because the game is so damned hard?"

"… Acchan, were you spying on me?!"

"Tae-chan, it's called the stages of Soulslover grief, we all go through it. Like farming for souls, or in your case Heart Echoes, it's a natural part of life."

"This strange game sounds like it's not fun at all," Keith said.

"Oh, thank god, I thought I was going crazy!"

"Well, you are insisting on staying in a dream world trying to relive your playthrough of Fortune Lover to try and work out all the lore you can about the student council president, so maybe just a little bit?"

"Wait, are these things about to be relevant to the story and not just a waste of time?" Mary said.

"It seems that way," Keith said.

"…"

"…"

"Acchan?"

"You're always such a silly, aren't you, always having to do things the hard way. As expected of the legendary Yamada Tae!"

"Who?"

"It's big sister's name in her previous life, remember?"

"Oh, right. I think I've been blocking out the contents of these segments..."

"…"

"But you have to wake up. There are so many people waiting for you, crying for you. Listen. Can you hear them? They're calling out for you…"

"Katarina... wake up! I cannot imagine a life without you."

"Wake up, please... Big Sister! Did you not promise that we would be together forever?"

"Lady Katarina! Wake up, please wake up! If you aren't here... how could I continue working hard, as I have until now?"

"Wake up! How long are you going to keep sleeping, you idiot?!"

"Katarina... open your eyes. Please."

"I beg of you, Lady Katarina... please. Please open your eyes...!"

Everyone examined the various parts of the room, which coincidentally meant that no one was meeting anyone's eyes.

Well, everyone except for Maria, who... looked unimpressed.

"From the way you're all acting, is this what you were all doing while I was chained up in a room without a chamber pot?"

"Look, if one of us had been captured and locked in a room with no chamber pot and Lady Katarina was in a sleep she wouldn't wake from, you'd have done the exact same thing," Sophia said, peering intently at the pages of the book.

"I will be sure to remember that, should it occur," Maria said with a tranquil smile.

"Isn't that your 'smug' look?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You can hear them, can't you?"

"N-no, I don't hear anything. D-do you mean the wind?"

"That's so mean, Tae-chan. We've been calling you for so long. Trying to send you our love so that you'd be free. Why have you been ignoring us?"

"…"

"Even Maria-san wishes you would wake…"

"NANI?! She does?!"

"Yes, she and the president can't handle all the paperwork everyone is dumping on them."

A laugh escaped the Third Prince, while an expression of deepest sympathy came over Alan's face.

"…"

"Katarina?"

"I can't wake up yet Acchan. I'm not ready! If I try to do anything the way I am, I'll…I'll screw it up!"

"I know it seems hard, Katarina. I know it probably looks like a big, scary asshole boss with a Fume Ultra Greatsword who keeps oneshotting you back to the bonfire you no matter what your build, even if it seems like you're rolling right because it has a bullshit hitbox, but you don't have to be afraid. I know it's scary. I know it's tempting to hide behind your shield hoping you have enough stamina and poise to not die, that you can deal enough damage in the little windows that open up, but you don't have to play like that. Forget shields, dualwield powerstance two weapons you think are cool, and let dashing and rolling be your defense! You have friends who'll come to help if you use their summon sign, who're willing to stand around being tanks while you try to hit it from behind, who have miracle builds to help you keep going and who are willing to stand by your side as many time as it takes until that FUCKING ASSHOLE RAIME FINALLY BITES THE ASH LIKE A BITCH AND THAT CROWN IS YOURS! Because we are all part of the Katarina Claes Covenant, and that means we help Katarina Claes!"

"Acchan, I didn't understand a word you just said. Were you even speaking Japanese?"

"Huh... well, good to know Big Sister's dream found that as inscrutable as we do," Keith said.

"I think it's mean to be inspirational," Alan said. "But yes, I barely managed to parse the sentiment involved, even if large parts were completely meaningless."

The Third Prince was writing frantically at all the strange terms.

"Katarina, what makes you think you have to do anything alone? As if we'd let you, you silly monkey. So wake up, and whatever it is, you won't have to do it by yourself."

"I… don't have to save the president alone? I don't have to help Maria alone?

"Of course not, you silly Bakarina. Really, is that what you were spending all your time in here trying to remember, even though you never actually finished the route? I was right here, you could have asked me."

"Eh heh he… I thought remembering the lore would be enough…"

"(sigh)"

"Then please, tell me… how do I save the president?! How do I help Maria so she stops being so lonely?"

"There's no helping her," Maria said. "She's a madwoman with no taste."

"I… don't know what Maria's damage is. But if anyone can do something about it, you can. Katarina Claes is a good enough girl to save the president AND some wannabe edgelord… just as you saved us. His real name is… if he disappears, you can find him at…"

Somewhere, there was a growl like a monstrous demon rousing from the depths of the earth, its cry echoing across the land and threatening to plunge the world in fog.

"Eh heh he, sorry. I guess I'm hungry."

Everyone just nodded, not surprised that only Katarina's only growling stomach would be able to force her to wake up.

"Finally, you're waking up."

"A... Acchan! It's been a long time... but I'm glad I met you again! Goodbye, Acchan! Thank you for everything up until now!!"

"I'm glad too, to have met you again. This time... I will stay by your side, as □□□□□□."

"Eh? What did you say Acchan, I couldn't hear you! Ah, Acchan! Acchan, why are you getting dusted? You're getting dusted Acchan, ah, this is so traumatizing! Acchan! Acc–!"

"Dusted? Like, a servant is wiping her to remove the dust on her?" Mary said. "How is that traumatizing?"

"Goodbye and thank you, my dear, dear friend... May you find your worth in the waking world…"

Nightmare Slain

…………………………………​

Two weeks and four days after falling into a sleep from which she could not wake. Katarina Claes woke, opening her eyes to a familiar ceiling.

Ah... I have finally returned to my own world.

Her stomach immediately rumbled.

"Lady Katarina! Finally, you've woken up!"

The feeling of déjà vu was quickly washed in relief and hugs.

The Third Prince frowned. "There weren't any servants in the room with us when Lady Katarina woke up, were there?"

"Not that I recall. Anne was there, but no one else."

"So... how could anyone have learned what Sophia said when Katarina woke up?"

That made everyone pause.

"Brother... are you suggesting that this book was written by one of us?" Alan said.

"It would certainly explain how the writer would know all the state secrets they would need to know," his twin said. "Unless someone can claim they were keeping a highly detailed journal that might have been compromised?"

Mary glared. "Would all of you stop looking at me for every little thing? Besides, did you miss the implication that one of us is also some kind of reincarnated soul from Lady Katarina's past life? While the book's Maria being a reborn soul was a unique premise, and Lady Katarina being reborn as well was an interesting twist, having a third person be reborn? We all know who'd write something like that!"

"Wait, why is everyone staring at me now!" Sophia cried.

"You know why, art snob!"

"I didn't write this! If I had, why would I throw it at Lady Katarina's head?"

"Because it would be the only way to get her to notice something that wasn't food?" Keith said.

"All right, bad example. But I am not the writer of this book! That's just wrong! And quite frankly, it's a very silly idea. If I had written this, do you think I'd be able to shut up about it?"

The door opened. "Hey guys, have you seen—oh! There's my book! I've been wondering where it was!"

Chapter Text

Sophia let out a yelp and immediately tried to hide the book under the table, before looking abashed. "Sorry, force of habit," she said. "Uh, here, Lady Katarina! You left this in the breakfast table."

"Ah!" Katarina hurried to Sophia's side of the table. "Did food get on it? None of the pages are stuck together, are they? I didn't get jam on it, did i?"

"Don't worry, it's clean, and Anne put a bookmark on your place," Keith assured her.

Katarina sighed in relief, clutching the book to her chest and immediately causing everyone in the room to glare jealously at the codex in question. "Ah, Anne is the best," she said.

Everyone twitched, and the poor book ceased to take the ire of their regard. It was quite fortunate that Anne wasn't in the room, even though everyone was almost confident Anne wasn't in love with Katarina. Almost.

"So, what part of the book are you at?" Katarina asked.

"We're at the part where Katarina—ah, the Katarina in the story—wakes up," the Third Prince said.

"Ooh, that's where the really good part starts! Especially where Maria goes whoosh and swish whump-whump—"

"Ah! No spoilers, no spoilers!"

"Sorry, Sophia!" Katarina said apologetically. She held out the book to Sophia. "Come on, read, read!"

"My Katarina," the Third Prince said, "in your reading, do you have any idea of who might have written this book?"

"Eh? Isn't it written on the front?"

"Sister, that's clearly a pen name," Keith said. "No one would actually name their child 'Shadow_Crystal_Mage'."

"Eh? But it's such a cool name! It's the perfect name for a writer!"

"... yeah, Katarina, that's probably why it's a pen name," Alan said.

"Oooh....! That makes sense..."

"Why don't you sit down, Lady Katarina?" Maria said with a tranquil smile, standing up and offering her seat on the couch.

"Ah, no need to get up Maria, just scooch over a bit."

Everyone glared at the commoner as she did just that, who maintained her smile as Katarina sat at the end of the couch, sandwiching Maria between her and Keith.

"Come on Sophia, come on!" Katarina said. "Read it, read it!"

"Why are you so eager, sister?" Keith said grumpily, looking around Maria's head. "Haven't you already read this part?"

"Yeah, but it's fun to see people's first-time reactions," Katarina said. "Ooh, I can't wait to see how react to the scene with—"

"No spoilers, no spoilers!"

"Sorry, Sophia!"

Giving Katarina one last warning look, Sophia opened up the book again—careful not to jar Katarina's bookmark—and found the part where they'd left off.

When the student council president suddenly stood up and hastily said he just remembered an errand he needed to run, Maria thought nothing of it. After all, he wasn't like Lady Claes' harem, to shirk his duties. When the time of her next class arrived and he had still not yet returned, Maria was slightly concerned, wondering what sort of errand required he take so long.

She was halfway to class when a group rushed out of a side hallways, blocking her path. Instinctively, she readied herself to break arms.

"Why does she always think of violence first?" Mary said, taking time from glaring at Maria.

"While she's clearly insane, in this instance I can't really fault her reasoning," Maria said with a tranquil smile. "I've used to have people blocking me in the hallway a lot, so I can sympathize..."

"Really, Maria, if you'd just give us some names..." Alan said.

"I don't want to cause any trouble..."

"Maria!" the woman in the lead cried out in relief. "You're all right!"

Maria stared at a now-awake Katarina Claes, her hair a mess, her dress looking hastily donned, and a bandage at her elbow to cover where the intravenous infusion needle had been inserted, and sighed to herself. Well, she supposed these pleasant days couldn't have lasted forever. Such was her fate.

"Lady Claes," she said, bowing. "You are energetic as always, I see. I trust you had a pleasant nap?"

"Oh, uh, yes," she said, looking surprised, before smiling brightly. Doesn't that hurt your face? "Yes, it was a wonderful nap. I'm glad I had it, the dream I had was great! But ah, Maria, have you seen the president? We're looking for him."

"I prefer 'Miss Campbell'," Maria said blandly, aware of the open hallways behind her. "As to the president, he said he had to run an errand and left the student council room. It must have taken longer than expected, as he had not yet returned by the time I left. "

"Damn it, he must have somehow found out you managed to break the spell," Prince Alan snarled. The two princes had swords belted on their waists, Maria noticed. So did Lord Claes and Lord Ascart.

"Hey..." Sophia said, "why didn't any of you boys bring a sword when we went to confront Rafael? I mean, we were going after a dangerous person who attacked Lady Katarina and kidnapped Maria, and none of you thought to bring a sword? What if Rafael had been armed?"

"Sophia, if Rafael had been dangerous, we could have just used magic," the Third Prince said confidently.

"The magic none of you boys thought to use at the time?" Mary said flatly.

"I don't see how that's relevant. Sophia, could you continue?"

"You're full of shit, Prince Number Three," Sophia said.

That… did not bode well.

"May I ask what this is about?" Maria said. "If something is about to happen that will deprive the student council of more manpower, I would rather know sooner than later."

"Miss Campbell, is student council paperwork really all you're concerned about?" Lady Hunt snapped.

"As a chosen member of the student council, yes," Maria said.

Lady Hunt stared at her like she'd grown as second head: with disgust, revulsion, and as if eldritch truths were being crammed into her brain.

Just in case, Maria patted her neck. Nope, only the one head, thankfully.

"Which implies she has encountered people or things that has two heads and that for some reason it's a phenomenon that could happen to her without her knowing," the Third Prince said. "Which is disturbing to think about."

"Is that what it meant?" Katarina said. "I thought she was checking if she had sauce on her neck. I know Mother gives me that look when I have sauce there."

Surprisingly, Lady Claes smiled. "Maria is always so responsible. Well, it's all right. I know where we can find the president."

"From your dream?" Nicol said.

Lady Claes nodded confidently. "Yup. It's the only place he'd go where no one would find him. So he has to be there!"

This was all sounding very alarming.

"As a member of the student council, I must ask you to explain what's going on," Maria said, wanting to demand and very carefully stopping herself from doing so. She was still a commoner, after all. "It sounds like you're accusing the Lord President of something."

"Don't you mean Lord Head Clerk?" Lord Claes said sarcastically.

Lady Claes twitched, suddenly staring at Maria with an intensity like she wanted to crack open Maria's skull and check for internal eyes. That was… very concerning. Perhaps she should strategically run away very fast in retreat…

"Why does Maria—that is, Maria in the book—keep evoking such disturbing imagery?" Mary said, looking mildly nauseated.

"Because she's insane?" Maria said.

"Eh?" Katarina said, turning to look at Maria. "You don't like Maria, Maria?"

"Not really, Lady Katarina. She just sounds so... pathetic."

"But she's so awesome! She's the best part of the story!"

Maria's tranquil smile became sickly as she found herself caught between two seemingly irreconcilable concepts.

"Sirius Dieke was the one who attacked Lady Katarina and sent her into a coma," the Third Prince said, and suddenly Maria was very interested in what he had to say. "We suspect he used a forbidden form of magic to do so."

"I see," Maria said, nodding. "Those are serious claims. As a member of the student council, I wish to examine your evidence to ascertain its veracity."

"We have Lady Katarina's word," the Third Prince said, and something dark and ugly lingered in his eyes. "Is that not enough?"

"Respectfully your highness, those who accused Lady Claes in the dining hall at least attempted to present paperwork and witnesses, falsified as they were," Maria said. "But I'm sure you know the legal precedents of accusing the heir of a marquis better than I." He wore no armor. His clothes were fine, soft cloth. His chest was completely unprotected, and he had not yet drawn his sword…

"Is she thinking about killing me?" the Third Prince said.

"Yup," Keith grinned.

"Definitely," Mary said cheerfully.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sophia said with a smile

"I wouldn't know," Alan said.

"Eh? She wasn't imagining you naked?"

Everyone paused and turned to stare at Katarina.

"I mean, she was talking about your chest, and I thought 'sword' meant... you know." Katarina held a hand at skirt-level and made a pumping motion.

Sophia's nose began to drip blood.

"Ah, Sophia! Hanky, hanky, someone get Sophia a hanky!"

After Sophia got something to blot her nosebleed, she went back to reeding, although her voice now held a nasal tone.

"Ah, let's not fight, let's not fight!" Lady Claes declared, stepping between the two of them. "Maria, why don't you come look for him with us? As an, um, impartial member of the student council!"

This was some sort of trick. It was definitely some kind of trick. Surely she didn't think Maria would fall for such a transparent ploy?

"Perhaps that would be best," Maria said. "Where did you say the Lord President is to be found, Lady Claes?"

How had she fallen for this ridiculous ploy?!

"I didn't like this part," Katarina sighed, looking a bit disappointed.

"Eh? Why, Lady Katarina?" Maria asked.

"I just don't think it's realistic that Maria, who has some of the highest grades in the school and so is really smart even on top of all her hard work, get's tricked like. It breaks my immersion!"

"Uh, sister, the character she's tricked by is you."
"Yeah, and I know I'd never be able to trick Maria like that!"

"Aren't you confusing the story and reality, Lady Katarina?" Mary said.

"No, because she's clearly not all that smart in the story. And even the narration shows she knows it a trick, so why did she fall for it?"

"Look, she clearly wanted to be 'tricked' because she's concerned for Rafael," Alan said. "The subtext is obvious."

Katarina blinked and one hand slapped her forehead. There was no hollow echoing ring, but a part of everyone's minds treacherously expected one. "Ugh, I should have thought of that. Good catch, Alan!"

As they left they the academy buildings, heading into the woods to the rear, they explained their accusation against Sirius Dieke. Of how they suspected him of possessing Dark Magic, using it to put Lady Claes in her coma, and to manipulate those who had accused Lady Claes.

Maria was apparently not the only one hearing this for the first time.

"I can't believe the president has magic that can manipulate people," Lady Hunt said as they walked beneath the dappled leaves of the trees behind the school, some distance away from the Academy's main buildings. "But if Lady Katarina says that's what happened, then it must be so!"

"I thought he was such a kind person…" Lady Ascart said. "Why would he do this?"

"I'm honestly not sure either," Lady Claes said,

"Then why accuse him?" Maria said blandly. On trees and on the ground, black smoke sometimes waved. The president had slowly stopped putting them on his clothes over the past week as the fad seemed to have passed, but to find them here implied someone had passed through, which at least lent some credence to Lady Claes' claim that someone had gone to their destination, a storage room someone had incongruously built in the middle of these woods. Lord Ascart led the way, having been there with the president once before.

"Because he did it," Lady Claes said. "But I want to know why. Don't you?"

"You know, on a second reading, all this is pretty contrived," Katarina said thoughtfully. "I mean don't get me wrong, I like the direction the story took, but this is all really contrived. She just happens to have a dream that conveniently tells her what she needs to know? And it's definitely something she didn't know herself! The author forcing the plot is pretty blatant here. I mean, I don't hate it, and the character bits are great, but the situation writing is kind of weak."

"Sister, that's exactly how it happened"

"That's no excuse! Real life doesn't have to make sense, it's real life! This is a story, there needs to be some sort of internal narrative logic in a story, and there isn't! We don't even get foreshadowing that dreams that tell you things you don't know are a thing! is it something only she can do? Is it because of the Dark Magic?"

"I kinda have to agree there, the narrative logic on that is pretty flimsy," Alan said, Sophia nodding as well. "I mean, the strength of the writing carries it, but it really doesn't make sense."

"See, my fellow art snobs agree with me!"

She turned to look at Katarina, her face devoid of its usual villainous sneer or lustful hunger. Instead, there was a determined focus in her eyes that seemed to bore into Maria like quicksilver bullets, an intensity of purpose she'd only seen on this woman's face one other time, in these very woods.

Maria looked away. "If what you say is true," Maria said. "I shall reserve judgement until I hear what the president has to say. If it is he we are following. This smoke could come from anyone. It was a popular fad, after all."

There was a brief pause.

"What smoke?" Lord Claes said, confused.

"Light mages can see a sort of dark smoke around people affected by dark magic or those who use dark magic," Lady Claes said, turning to Maria and for some reason patting her on the shoulder, giving her a sympathetic look. What? "But you need to be a very insightful person to see them, and that's hard. I hope it didn't hurt too much, Maria. But if you're seeing black smoke, then I guess this means we're on the right track!"

"Um… Lady Katarina, how do you know this?" Lady Ascart asked.

"I saw it in a dream!" Lady Claes said cheerfully.

"See!" Katarina exclaimed. "They never actually showed that in the dream!"

"Sister, you actually said that when we asked you how you knew where Rafael was."

"Keith, don't confuse the story and reality. We all read the dream parts, they never showed anything that could possibly tell her all that, the writer just pulled it out of nowhere!"

For a moment, there was awkward silence.

"So…" Prince Alan drawled from behind Maria. "Black smoke, huh?"

"It proves nothing," Maria said. "I have never heard of this phenomenon before now."

"But you've seen black smoke, right?" The smugness was thick in his voice.

"It proves nothing as of yet," Maria repeated, staring ahead. She walked with head held high yet every muscle loose, as if her body were a puppet that hung from a string at her neck. She was conscious of the sword at Prince Alan's waist behind her, of his brother's sword at her front…

"Ooh, nice," Katarina said. "See that? The writer is so good, but they give such stupid excuses like dreams."

"Eh? What? What did I miss?" Sophia said.

"It wouldn't be obvious, Sophia," the Third Prince said, "but a beginning swordsmanship exercise is to... well, to walk like that. Head high but every muscle loose. A much more accurate way of depicting that someone is getting ready to do violence. Getting tense is actually an amateur mistake, so this portion shows that the Maria in the book is actually a very experienced swordswoman."

"Oh! So, whoever wrote this is an experienced swordsman?"

"It certainly speaks in favor of it."

"Then it can't be me, because I don't know any of that! So I'm not the writer of this book!"

"Eh? Sophia, why do people think you wrote this? It's not like your kind of book at all."

"That's what I said!"

"And then there's that plothole," Katarina said.

"What plothole?" Sophia asked.

Katarina pointed. "This is supposed to be happening on school grounds, so why does the Dike family had a storehouse here? It's not on their land, their lands are far away, it was built years before Rafael enrolled in the school, so why is it here? The only reason it's here is for Rafael to have a secret lair no one knows about, it's really lazy writing!"

"Sister, that's exactly how it happened last year!"

"Keith, don't confuse the story and reality. I'm not questioning why the Diekes have a store house with a secret basement where they did secret dark magic experiments on school grounds, I'm questioning why the Diekes have a store house with a secret basement where they did secret dark magic experiments on school grounds in the story, because it doesn't make sense! Really, this finale has spots where it's clearly rushed. There definitely wasn't as much thought put into the plot as the character interactions."

Chapter Text

"My Katarina actually raises a good point, though," the Third Prince mused. "Why is a storage room with a secret dungeon on the school grounds?"

"I always assumed it was a result of grandfather," Alan said.

"... that is so sadly plausible," his twin sighed.

"Eh?" Katarina said. "Why would it make sense that your grandfather would have a secret dungeon in the schoo—" she abruptly cut off. "Ah, you know what, why don't we get back to reading the book?"

Everyone stared at Katarina. Everyone thought the obvious question. Everyone came to the obvious answer.

Everyone wondered who would bring it up.

"Good idea, Lady Katarina!" Mary said.

"Back to the story!" Sophia agreed.

"Let's find out what happens next!" Keith said as the two princes nodded along vigorously.

Maria gave a tranquil smile.

Cowards, everyone thought.

It was, in fact, a large storage area. Old, mostly decorative armor and attached decorative weapons were piled to one side, while shelves filled with books as well as random odds and ends covered the walls. Light streamed in from the windows on both sides, making the place almost cheerfully bright, even as a wave of heat washed over them as the door opened. Small piles of junk and clutter were scattered all around, such as planetary models of the abyssal cosmos, old chairs, piles of green bottles of beer from the town of Estus near the academy, that sort of thing. Maria looked in bemusement at one such bottle that someone seemed to have pieced together from shattered shards. Why would someone do something like that?

"Ah! Hot!" Lady Claes yelped in surprise.

"Don't worry Lady Katarina! I've got this!" Lady Hunt said. To Maria's bemusement, water appeared in her hands before it seemed to condense into ice, and she pressed her hands on either side of Lady Claes' face.

"Ah, that feels so good…" Lady Claes moaned almost disgracefully, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the cool after that initial burst of heat. Unseen in front of her, Lady Hunt wore a smug, euphoric expression as the Third Prince's eyebrow twitched.

"Hey, Mary, can you really do that?" Katarina asked.

"Oh, easily, Lady Katarina," Mary said, waving her hands theatrically as she pulled water out of the air. With a flourish of her fingers, the water became ice in her hands. "See?"

"Can I try it?"

"Sure!"

"Really, Lady Mary, is now the time?" the Third Prince said with a wide showing of teeth.

"Ah, that feels so good..." Katarina moaned, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the feeling of ice on her face.

"Sister, stop that, you're dripping!"

Maria sighed, pressing forward into the room and glanced around. Truth be told, it wasn't THAT hot, and it was a dry heat without humidity. She looked about, tilting her head in bemusement at a pile of what appeared to be various hats. She picked up one at random, a black, cocked hat with a white plume, its profile like a sleek arrow. A wistful smile came over her face, before she sighed. There was still work to be done.

Small wisps of smoke like footprints left a trail on the ground, heading towards the back, at the far end from the building's entrance. Lady Claes, having finished with her dramatics, began to move deeper into the building, weaving past the various piles and going in the general direction of the trail as if she actually knew where she was going. Her harem followed after her, the men spread as a wing to either side, and the women at the rear. Lady Ascart was focused ahead at her mistress, but Lady Hunt had turned back, watching Maria. Maria nodded at the implied rebuke of her tardiness and, on impulse, donned the hat in her hands.

It was strange. It was just a random hat, but as it settled on her head, she sensed, as if from deep within, a feeling of completion, as if coming home after a long journey. How passing strange...

"Item get!" Katarina exclaimed.

"That hat must be so dusty," Sophia said.

"And probably smells," Mary agreed. "You just know whoever wore it last sweated a lot and then jsut took it off their head when they were done instead of properly cleaning it."

Katarina blinked. "Wait, you have to clean hats? Why? They're on your head, how would they get dirty?"

She followed after the group as Lady Claes came to a stop before a large, heavy shelf. It was far too big for any one person to move. Even a hunter would have struggled, for it was wide and unwieldy. Lady Claes felt along one side, then the other, and a look of satisfaction came over her face before she pushed at a spot that depressed slightly. Almost immediately, the shelf slid to one side as if on freshly oiled rails, revealing a set of stairs leading downward.

"There really is a hidden room…" Lord Claes said, sounding surprised.

"And that's another thing!" Katarina declared. "Who was maintaining that secret door? It's supposed to be a secret, so it's not like people can just open it up to put oil on it. And how did they even put it on the wall?"

"Sister—" Keith paused and clearly changed what he was about to say. "Actually, shouldn't the mechanism be jammed with dust that's mixed in with any oil that's there?"

"I know, right?!"

Everyone glared at Keith for thinking to do it before the rest of them could.

The princes exchanged glances and drew their swords, taking the lead. The Third Prince placed his hand on his blade, sliding upwards along the steel. Fire trailed in his hands wake, and Maria's eyebrows rose at the rare show of power. It lit the way as the prince began to descend, his brother and the Lady Claes right behind him. The other crowded behind, obviously excited by this development.

As Maria was about to descend, something in a nearby pile caught her eye…

"Foreshadowing!" Sophia and Katarina chorused. Then they looked around and groaned.

"Ugh, I forgot we didn't have any finger foods," Sophia said.

Everyone else looked at them in confusion. Well, everyone except Alan.

"You eat a snack when there's blatant foreshadowing?" he said.

"Yup!" Katarina said. "Darn it, I'm out of snacks..."

Keith and Maria both reached into their pockets, and drawing out a clean cloth bundle. The two exchanged tranquil smiles as both undid the ties. Maria's cloth was little cookies, while Keith's cloth was full of dried fruits. They looked at each other's cloth and grudgingly nodded.

"Here, Lady, Katarina!"

"Honestly, sister..."

"Yay!" Katarina said, grabbing one of Maria's cookies and a pinch of raisins, popping both into her mouth

"Nicol!" Sophia whined, then sighed. "Oh, wait, I have no one."

Keith rolled his eyes and gave a dried and sugared strawberry. "Here, you little drama princess..."

There had been black door down below at the end of the stairs. Maria heard the crash as the Third Prince kicked it open, but the room beyond had been empty. It was the size of one of the school dormitories for higher-ranked nobles, and contained a bed and a lamp. Disturbingly, rings had been set into the walls, and a chain and manacle could be seen peeking under the bed.

"See," Maria said indignantly. "No chamber pot!"

"Maybe it's under the bed?" Alan suggested.

"It wasn't," Maria said in the closest to a chilly tone she could manage, which was at best a refreshing summer breeze.

"Wait, what's this about a chamber pot?" Katarina asked.

"The room Rafael imprisoned her in didn't have a chamber pot in it," Mary said helpfully. Only Katarina was fooled.

Katarina gasped. "Oh, that's horrible! Wait, are you sure it wasn't under—"

"It wasn't."

The Third Prince had lit the lamp by the time Maria had descended, augmenting the little light that came from a single tiny window that was basically a glorified air vent in the ceiling, and she could only breathe a sigh of relief it had not been a trap set with explosives. Her fellow hunter Otto had been fond of those, the madman. Maria had used to expect constables from a distant land to show up one day with a warrant for his arrest for arson, or hear that the fool had set the workshop on fire. He never had explained why he had left his home of Dresden…

"...explosive..." the Third Prince wrote.

On the other side of the room was another door. The prince kicked it again with little fanfare, revealing another stairway leading downwards. Taking the lead once more, he descended and they followed after, Maria trailing behind. At the bottom of the stairs radiated an eldritch purple glow. they came from strange candles on either side of a short hallway that lead to a set of double doors.

Maria frowned and looked back the way they had come. "This is deep below ground. How could anyone have believed this was meant to be a storage room, given the amount of earth constructing this would have displaced and stone needed to be brought in to set in place for the walls?"

"See, even in the story it doesn't make sense!" Katarina exclaimed.

"...I will launch an investigation about the storage room's construction," the Third Prince sighed.

"Really?" Lady Hunt said. "That's what you're wondering about?"

"No, she's right," Prince Alan said. "Look at this place. Even with Earth Magic, they'd have needed to move or compress a lot of dirt. How come no one knew about it? Something's fishy about all this."

"Lady Claes knows about this place," Maria said. "And are she and her brother not graced with Earth Magic?"

"All right, I'm starting to not like Maria too," Keith said with a frown.

Maria gave him a bright, approving smile.

Lady Hunt stepped forward with a snarl. "I have just about HAD IT with–"

"No Mary, she's right," Lady Claes intervened. "I suppose if you look at it that way, this looks very suspicious Maria. Honestly, I can't blame you for thinking that way. I do look like a villainess, after all. It's to be expected you'd suspect me."

"Lady Katarina!" Lady Hunt said, sounding aghast. "Don't say such things!"

Lady Claes ignored her, possibly used to her toadying.

"Hey!" Mary exclaimed. "I am not a toady!"

The Third Prince nodded. "Yes, her noble title is far to high to be a today. Mary is a sycophant at the very least."

A piece of ice was thrown at him.

"Ah, ice on my notebook, ice on my notebook!"

She looked at Maria, her eyes filled with all their usual lust, but something else as well. "So let's find out the truth together. Let's get to the end of this secret route, and find out how this story ends! Will you see it with us, Maria?"

Maria thought of a hunter. A stranger clad in strange garb, but a hunter nonetheless. Perhaps a hunter because of their strange garb. She thought of a chair in an empty clocktower, a chair with the sea at her back, sitting in a pool of blood. The feeling of the sword in her hand. Of her death, and her death again…

Yes, she of all people knew very well the sweet beckoning of secrets. Their sweetness and their shame. Never one without the other.

"Only an honest death will cure you now." Had those not been her very words, made much ironic in hindsight?

The girl who was once Lady Maria, formerly of Cainhurst, formerly of Byrgenwerth, formerly of the Research Hall, and in her heart still a hunter, didn't want to die just yet. Wherever this path lead, whether in lies or conspiracy, or a truth most dark, she had to know. She had to know if he…

She took a deep breath and resolved herself. How ironic, that once more she could not leave a corpse well enough alone, compelled to walk in darkness to find out what secrets it hid. And now there was no Master Laurence to force her hand. Truly, one need not seek eldritch truths to resort to a madman's choices. Would atrocity once more be found at the end of this path?

She should have gone straight to class.

"That was a nice segment," Alan commented. "Artistically speaking, I mean. Vivid imagery, nice turns of phrase, then it ends on something completely mundane. Wonderful juxtaposition."

"Lot's of exposition too," Sophia commented. "All the references nicely answer questions while increasing her mystery."

"Meh, it's all right," Katarina said.

"Then again, it's trying too hard, so everything just cancels each other out," Alan said hurriedly.

"And then again there's such a thing as trying to be too mysterious," Sophia added.

"Look, if you two are going to art snob, at least have the integrity to stab by your words!" Keith said.

"I prefer 'Miss Campbell', Lady Claes," she said.

Lady Hunt scowled at her, as did Lady Ascart.

Lady Claes, however, blinked and smiled. "Will you see it with us, Miss Campbell?" she said, and try as she might, Maria could detect no insincerity.

"After you, my lords and ladies," she said, bowing with one hand behind her back.

"Wait, what's with that look?" Sophia suddenly said, peering at Katarina.

"What look?" Katarina said innocently. As in she actively tried to look innocent. it just made her look guilty of murder.

"You know something!" Sophia declared. "Is this foreshadowing!?"

"...read and find out."

"This IS foreshadoing!"

The Third Prince, his brother and Lord Claes lead the way, swords out as they regarded the double doors. Dark smoke seemed to billow from every crack, from it's very essence, and for the first time, Maria realized it did not look right. It seemed to curve and flicker like flames, having a life of its own. There was a… a weight to the darkness, beyond the darkness, as if it swelled from the depths of a bottomless ocean. It was like a… a…
+1 Insight

"Insight again," the Third Prince said. "What does it signify? Art snobs? Anything?"

"Oh, shut up brother."

Maria realized she could feel an incredible power beyond those doors.

Unconsciously, her grip tightened on the sword she held behind her back with one hand.

"Wait, when did she get a sword?" Mary asked.

"Ooh, that's what the foreshadowing was about!" Sophia said.

"What?"

"She got a sword from the storeroom when everyone went down the stairs and she was the last one down," Alan explained.

The princes looked at each other and nodded. The Third Prince stepped forward and pushed the doors open.

Beyond lay a dark, billowing fog,

Maria's heart seized. She knew that fog.

Lady Ascart screamed.

The princes gasped, taking a step back lest they violate its threshold.

It was a thing of legend and story and horror and fear most primal. The fog, behind which would lie a force of great evil against which no mere mortal could stand.

"It is?" Keith said, looking confused.

"The story says so, so maybe it's true for the story," Alan said. "Off the top of my head, I can't think of any legends and stories about fog being a force of great evil. I mean, there's always stories about things hiding in the fog, but those tend to be outdoors in foggy weather. Nothing about a room being filled with fog unless a water magic wielder did it."

They should go. They should turn around, bar the doors and summon every soldier and wielder of Fire, Water, Earth and Air the princes could call upon, every thug and sellsword and mercenary, call cannons (Maria suddenly wondered, did Sorcier have cannon? Try as she might, she could not recall anyone having ever mentioned pistols), ballistae, and urns of oil, and then, only then, should they brave this mist of nightmares before them.

"That... seems like an overreaction," Keith said. "I mean, sure it's probably hiding at least a water magic wielder, and it's probably dangerous to go into see you can't see what else is inside, but Sophia and Nicol are there in the story, all they need to do is blow it away, right?"

"It's clearly not meant to be a normal fog," the Third Prince said. "Although we really haven't been told anything as you why it might be to be feared like that."

Lady Claes blinked, and looked at the princes before her with furrowed brow. Then she shrugged.

Before anyone could stop her, she stepped into the fog.

Alone.

Everyone sighed. "That sounds about right, though," Keith said tiredly.

"Oh please, I wouldn't do anything like that," Katarina said indignantly. "That's the kind of thing one of those really stupid romance novel heroines would do. You know, the really, really dumb ones who make you think they can't walk and talk at the same time but somehow manage to get everyone in the story swooning about how beautiful and kind they are but she's completely oblivious or just keeps dating the obvious villain? I'm nothing like that at all! Really, no one in real life can be that stupid." 

Everyone studiously did not meet anyone else's eyes.

Achievement Unlocked: Welcome to Fashion Souls

Finally, Maria has a hat!

---

Black Tricorned Hat

A randomly chosen black hat. It is old and dusty but still in good repair.

Not many people in Sorcier wear hats, a curious practice given the constant sun and the high likelihood of heatstroke from it.

Heatstroke can cause damage to the brain due to swelling, possibly resulting in permanent damage. Magic is controlled by the brain, and sufferers of heatstroke often forget they possess it.

"Well... that's new," the Third Prince said. "How is getting a hat any sort of achievement?"

"Why is there a specific sidebar for describing a hat?" Mary said, confused.

"Well, Maria just got a new hat, so obviously the story is telling us about it," Katarina said matter-of-factly.

"But shouldn't they just describe the hat, then?" Alan said, perplexed. "And why does the sidebar mostly talk about heatstroke, brain damage, and people forgetting they can do magic?"

"It's probably foreshadowing," Sophia said. "There's probably going to be a plot point about how someone got heatstroke because they didn't wear a hat, and because of that forgot they had magic when they should really have used magic."

"That makes sense... but it seems a really sloppy way of going about it."

Chapter Text

"By the way, Lady Katarina, how far did you get last night?" Sophia asked.

"I'm up to the part where a bunch of women who are totally going to be Maria's harem swear to her that she can do anything she wants to their bodies," Katarina said.

Maria started choking on literally nothing, and she had to spend a few minutes coughing to clear her throat.

"Are you all right, Maria?" Katarina asked worriedly.

"I'm fine now, Lady Katarina," Maria said hoarsely, taking another sip of water that Alan had gathered out of the air. He'd needed to open the window to get enough moisture, as Mary had already lowered the humidity of the room. "Just surprised at... what you described."

"Ah, don't worry, it's more wholesome than it sounds," Katarina reassured her. "But yeah, they're definitely going to be her—"

"No spoilers, no spoilers!" Sophia cried.

"You asked!"

"I regret asking!"

Alan sighed. "Would you two stop yelling and get back to the book?"

Lady Claes blinked, and looked at the princes before her with furrowed brow. Then she shrugged.

Before anyone could stop her, she stepped into the fog.

Alone…

… for about half a heartbeat as Lady Hunt screamed "Lady Katarina!" and plunged in after her. Prince Alan tried to stop his fiancée, but had to drop his sword so as not to hit her. Unbalanced, he found himself dragged along after her. He might have been able to resist if his brother hadn't gone plunging in after his fiancée. Lord Claes was behind only because he'd been farther from the door, plunging in after his sister as well.

"Yes, that all sounds about right," Maria said, a tranquil smile on her face.

"Yup, that's totally how Alan would act if Mary suddenly went through a weird door," Katarina said.

"…yes, that's it exactly," Alan said as he and Mary avoided each other's gaze.

Lord Ascart had no opportunity to do anything foolish as his sister tackled him to the ground with the ferocity of a bloodstarved beast, sending his sword flying as she seemed to climb him like a piece of furniture and sat on his chest, still screaming the whole while.

"I would not!" Sophia protested.

"Yes, you would," Keith said.

"You definitely would," Mary said, nodding.

"That's definitely something you'd do," Alan said.

"It's not!"

"Nicol will be really sad when I tell him you don't love him enough to tackle him out of danger," the Third Prince said.

"Try it and Lady Katarina will be a single woman," Sophia snarled.

Maria did not know the young woman well, but it occurred to her that Lady Ascart was likely the sanest, most level-headed, rational and reasonable person in Lady Claes' entourage.

"Hah! The book says I'm great!" Sophai cheered.

"Yes, but it's being narrated by a crazy person with bad taste," Maria pointed out.

"Why is everyone ganging up on me?!"

…

Perhaps she would leave the country once one of the princes ascended the throne. If they lived to do so. If she did. She should really put as much distance between herself and this door as she could. Perhaps a mountain range, or a sea. If this was anything like the fog found by the few surviving Knights of Cainhurst in their explorations of the Pthumerian ruins, then near-certain death awaited on the other side. The almost-always lone survivors had been honored by the queen by being gifted her blood, and had been allowed to retire into the nobility, though they had usually stayed on to help train the now devastated knighthood back to fighting strength.

"Wait, so these kinds of foggy doors are something from her past life?" Alan said. "But why are people acting like they know what it is?"

"I'm curious about how dangerous she implies it is," the Third Prince said. "The awards to the survivors seems excessive."

…

Sighing, she bent down and picked up Prince Alan's sword. "Lady Ascart, I would strongly recommend you and your brother find the fine folk of this academy trained in the dispersal of violence, and the fine minds of the ministry versed in violent magic, and call them to this place," Maria said, before taking a deep breath and stepping into the fog. She needed to see this through and find out the truth with her own eyes.

The ominous fog seemed to go transparent as her eyes touched it, revealing the room on the other side. Its edges and some sills along the walls were full of candles and a few standing candleholders, all glowing with that unnatural purple flame, bathing the chamber in its eldritch light. Was this the power of Dark Magic?

Scribbled on the wall, seemingly without pattern, were groupings of unknown glyphs and runes that Maria knew not, lining the walls in a seemingly endless scrawl. On the floor, dominating most of the chamber was some sort of more ordered pattern, a large circle inside which ordered geometric shapes interspersed with the unknown writing. The air seemed unnaturally still, as if crystallized.

"Yes... that sounds about right for a Dark Magic ritual circle," the Third Prince said, nodding.

"And how would you know?" Mary asked tartly.

"I was there, you know. I had eyes, I looked around. Why wouldn't I know remember what the ritual circle looks like?"

Keith blinked. "Wait... you have what the ritual circle looks like memorized?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?"

"So you basically know how to make a Dark Magic ritual circle and can sacrifice people for forbidden power?"

Everyone turned to stare at the Third Prince.

"... no?"

His expression did not inspire confidence in his sincerity, although to be fair that expression was being illuminated by the horrified light of realization.

The princes stood before the door, the Third Prince with his burning sword raised, Prince Alan with his fists. Between and before them stood Lady Claes, while behind them was Lord Claes and Lady Hunt. At her entrance, the latter whirled, her eyes fixed on the sword Maria held even though she held it carelessly by its pommel, point down. Careful of the profile she presented, Maria moved towards Prince Alan, even as her eyes never left the far side of the room. Lady Hunt eyed her suspiciously. Just what had she done to the woman?

"Hey, why didn't you do that?" Sophia said.

"Do what?" the Third Prince said, still looking mildly disturbed at realizing he could potentially do a dark magic ritual if he wanted to.

"Do the flaming sword thing," she said, tapping a finger down on the open book. "That would have been really useful, you know!"

"What, having a large open flame inside an underground chamber full of people that has questionable ventilation?" he said, looking slightly amused. "That doesn't sound like a good idea, Sophia."

"You dropped this, Prince Alan," she said as she offered him back his sword. He took it from her carefully, raising it in a guard as soon as it was in his hand. Maria stepped back, the open but inescapable door behind her. She had eyes only for the other side of the circle.

Sirius Dieke stood there, one hand raised to his face as if in pain. Black smoke that writhed like flame was erupting from him, seeping from every inch of his body as if from a gushing spring. Her hunter's instincts screamed that she was in the presence of a dangerous beast. His eyes had snapped to track Maria as soon as she entered the room. They were filled with anger, pain and betrayal. In his hand was a sword of his own.

Even as she watched, Maria saw his eyes fill with loathing, his gaze never leaving her.

She felt something inside her, something that smiled sometimes and liked to offer to use her magic, break just a little. Maria pushed it to the back of her mind with difficulty even as she offered a one-handed bow.

Sophia and Katarina both 'squee'ed. "So cute!" they cried.

Everyone else just exchanged glances and sighed.

Before she could speak however, he barked, "So, you're one of them now, Maria? What happened to not wanting to have anything to do with Katarina Claes?"

Maria straightened, face smooth even as she could feel Lady Hunt's stare boring into her nose. "You misunderstand, Lord President. Various students have come forward with allegations regarding your person. As a member of the student council, I am here to ascertain the truth of these allegations and to receive your testimony in defense of yourself. I am sure this is all just some misunderstanding."

For some reason, Prince Alan let out a bark of laughter at that. And… yes, he was still snickering. What was so funny?

"Alan, stop that snickering. You're confusing the story and reality," the Third Prince smirked.

"She's so awkwardly cute!" Sophia exclaimed.

"I know, right?" Katarina agreed.

Sirius was laughing too. It was, unfortunately, the familiar, mocking laughter of a madman, a sound she thought she would never have to hear again in this life. "Oh Maria, you're always so dutiful, aren't you? So blind, so stupid, but always dutiful."

Something inside her broke just a little more.

Maria nodded in grudging agreement as Sophia and Katarina both gasped in shock. "Oh no he didn't!" Sophia cried.

"Rafael, how could you say something so mean!"

"Sister, haven't you read this already?"

"And it's just as heartbreaking now!"

"Why are you here, Claes?" he demanded, finally turning towards the noble. Lady Claes faced him as if the sword in his hand did not matter, as if the princes at her back were irrelevant. Though Maria couldn't see her face, her bearing was straight, her breathing calm. Almost relaxed.

She tilted her head slightly. "The spell to keep me asleep wore off," she said, as if stating the obvious.

"That's not what I meant!" Sirius snapped. "I know the spell wore off! How... Why are you here? After what I did to you? Why would you appear before me! Are you just here to mock me?!"

"Eh? Why would I mock you?" Lady Claes said, sounding genuinely surprised. "What you didn't isn't something to make fun of, but I don't think it was that horrible, really."

Maria looked at Lady Claes and wondered just when they had started imbibing large amounts of sea water and brain fluid. To be fair, Sirius was giving her the same look.

"Does anyone know what that means?" Katarina asked. "I know you're not supposed to drink sea water because it has too much salt, but what's that about brain fluid?"

"... no idea, Lady Katarina," Sophia lied as everyone else averted their gaze. "Though it doesn't sound healthy, so... maybe something like that?"

"You… do you even have any idea what I did to you?"

"Eh? Did you draw on my face after you used Dark Magic on me to put me to sleep? Alan, is there still something on my face? Eh? What's that for?"

Maria could not blame Prince Alan for raising a hand to cover his face.

"Lady Katarina…" Lady Hunt sighed, a hand on her face as well.

"Eh? EH?! D-did I say something wrong?"

That sounds about right.

No one said it, but everyone thought it very loudly

"Damn it, you're always like this! Don't you realize I had every intention of killing you?! That sleeping spell was meant to take your life!"

"Eh? But that's definitely not true. After all, if you really wanted to kill me, it would have been easier to just kill me on the spot after you cast your spell on me. If you'd made me sleep on my stomach, I'd have choked up my breakfast and died. Anne is always telling me not to sleep on my front like that so soon after dinner, so I suppose breakfast must be the same?"

"Lady Katarina…!" Lady Hunt sighed again.

"Lady Katarina, don't lie down on your stomach after a large meal," Maria sighed. "You'll push on your stomach while you're asleep, vomit, and the vomit might choke you. That's why you shouldn't sleep on your front."

"Oooh... that makes sense! Finally, someone explained it!" Katarina said happily. "Thanks Maria!"

Maria gave a tranquil smile.

"I came here because I wanted another chance to really talk to you."

"...T-talk?"

"Yes. Because... you looked like you were in terrible pain back then. Because you were... crying. So I wanted one more chance to get you to talk to me…"

She stepped forward.

Sirius brandished his sword at her. "Stay back!" he snarled. The black smoke around him rose higher, seemingly getting thicker. It seemed a true flame now, burning from the wick that was the president.

"Ah, it's a bit late, but thank you for using that sleep spell on me. Thanks to you, I had the most wonderful dream."

Maria watched as Lady Claes bowed low, lower than even a peasant needed to bow to the king.

"From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to have that dream. I will treasure the memory of it for the rest of my life. Thank you… Rafael Walt."

Maria swayed. She couldn't help it. The shock was too much. She felt as if the world was falling away from her feet, as if phantasms were crawling around in her skull, writhing in her brain.

Dear Oedon… how could she have been so blind? How could she not realize? No wonder she had so many minders and was never left alone! Why they would insist she be allowed into the student council chamber so they could keep an eye on her.

This woman was an idiot!
+10 Insight

Katarina was preoccupied for the next several minutes as all her friends spontaneously started choking on nothing. "Ah! Ah! What do I do?-! Anne! Anne, I need help!"

The door burst open and Anne strode in, striding smoothly and taking in the scene. Outside, everyone's servant's peeked in and, seeing their charges apparently choking to death, immediately entered as well. Backs were smacked, hands were pressed with careful force up into diaphragms to encourage a sharp exhale to dislodge and obstructions, and Alan was left alone once it was realized he wasn't chocking so much as laughing so hard he could breathe.

Poor Maria, not having a servant, found herself being assisted by Anne.

Eventually, everyone was breathing again—although in Alan's case it was in a stuttering, pained way as he ran out of breath to laugh—and settled back onto their chairs, catching their breaths.

"So, is everyone okay now?" Katarina asked.

"W-we're fine now, Lady Katarina," Sophia said, for once not meeting her gaze, and instead looking at a spot two inches about Katarina's head.

"Maybe we should stop reading?"

"No, no, we can continue! Right everyone?"

Everyone nodded and made vague affirmatory sounds, all keeping their gazes averted. Maria looked very conflicted, muttering something about "Just because she's right doesn't mean mumble mumble..."

Wait, who in the Queen's Name and Blood was Rafael Walt?!?!

"YOU MOCK ME?!" the president roared. The black flame around him surged upwards, brushing the ceiling. "You mock me with that name? How do you know that name?!?"

Snarling, he lunged at the still-bowing Lady Claes!

"Katarina!" both princes cried.

Prince Alan and her brother grabbed her, pulling her back, while her fiancé put himself in the president's way. His burning blade clashed with the President's plainer sword. Sirius parried the blade to the side and his left elbow darted, striking the prince's forearm. There was a burst of darkness, and suddenly the prince was falling, the flame of his sword extinguishing as it clattered to the ground.

"Huh... that's... actually, that might actually be something to watch for with Dark Magic," the Third Prince wheezed out thoughtfully. "I genuinely don't know if that's all the contact a Dark Magic wielder would need to affect someone."

Sirius kicked the prince aside, only to meet Prince Alan's own blade as the Fourth Prince let out an enraged cry at his brother's fall, attacking Sirius with a flurry of maddened swings. Sirius darted back, giving ground, and when the prince overextended himself the president slammed his pommel down the prince's side. There was another burst of darkness, and Prince Alan fell as well.

Sirius turned towards Lady Claes with a snarl, facing Lord Claes, who'd finally drawn his sword and has standing guard between him and Katarina. Bending down, Sirius took Alan's blade off the ground and charged in. At the last second, he threw the prince's blade, and Lord Claes parried on instinct, deflecting the weapon but leaving himself open. Sirius' stabbed at his torso, and Lord Claes barely managed to parry, and the blade found his left arm, biting into the bicep. As he cried in pain, Sirius lashed out with his left hand, touching Keith. There was a third burst of darkness and Keith fell to the ground, unconscious and bleeding.

"There's no way Rafael is actually this good with a sword," Keith said, glaring a little at the narration. "He doesn't even practice!"

"You're just mad because he actually managed to pink you," the Third Prince said with a wide smile. At least, that's how Katarina would describe it.

Sirius wrenched out his blade, the tip bloody, only jump back in surprise as… a toy snake was thrown in his face? "Am I a joke to you?!" he demanded, only to see that Lady Claes had used the time to dive for her fiancé's fallen sword, and held it before her in a low guard position, standing between him and Lady Hunt.

"Brother, are you all right?" Alan said with a smirk as the Third Prince shuddered.

"Oh, shut up Alan."

"Rafael…" she said, sounding stunned a the sudden violence. "Please, no one needs to get hurt. I just want to talk to you…"

"You shouldn't have brought up that name! Are you with her? Have you known what she did all this time? Are commoners like us just toys to you?"

"Rafael, please…" Lady Claes pleaded.

Sirius, face twisted in a beastly rictus of rage, raised his sword for another lunge.

No one surpassed her at the lunge.

Maria exploded forward, the blade she had carried behind her back turning smoothly in her hand as she crossed the distance between them like a quicksilver bullet. She went from the edge of the room to the center in seemingly a single step, the candles at her starting point being snuffed out from her departure, only to reignite once more into purple flame.

"Wait, what?" Keith exclaimed. "How did I get stabbed but Maria can suddenly lunge across a room?"

"Keith, this is the exciting part!" Katarina chided.

The president barely darted back in time to keep from losing a shoulder. "TRAITOR!" he cried as Maria interposed herself between him and Lady Claes. "You're choosing her over me?!"

"President," Maria said, even as she drew the dagger she'd hidden in her right sleeve. Blade and sword in hand, she held them out to either side of her. "Stand down. Please."

"Wait, has she been carrying a dagger there all along?" Mary said.

"Yeah?" Sophia said. "She foreshadowed it a lot."

"Die with the nobles, Campbell!" he spat, wreathed in eldritch flame as dark as the abyssal cosmos. "I'll kill you all! I will have my revenge!"

Maria closed her eyes. "Lady Claes, please stay with Lady Hunt," she said, and stepped forward.

Maria Campbell joins the hunt.

Sirius Dieke, Lord President of the Student Council
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"What is this black thing supposed to be?" Sophia said.

Everyone craned their heads forward to see.

"A section break?" Alan suggested.

"They're not in the previous chapters though, and there's a thing directly after it. Hang on, let my finish the chapter first."

Old Decorative Saber

An older saber that has seen better days, but is still sound. As a decorative weapon meant for display, it's not sharp at all but the point is still dangerous and the edge will bruise.

A nostalgic weapon that appealed to Maria Campbell at first sight, calling to mind ancient days. For a hunter must hunt.

"Hunter… there's that word again," Mary said.

"She was some kind of hunter in her past life," Sophia commented. "It hasn't really come up except as some oblique references."

"Foreshadowing," Katarina said, grabbing a Maria cookie.

Sophia blinked. "Wait, all that is foreshadowing? For what?"

"Read and Find Out!" Katarina sang, and took a bite of her cookie.

Chapter Text

Sofia went back to reading as Katarina ate her cookie.

Most people wouldn't have charged aggressively at a madman with a sword. They'd have held their ground, waited for their foe to commit to a move, then gotten out of the way and struck just once, before stepping back and doing it all over again.

Beasts killed people like that.

Hunters killed beasts, not the other way around. Not if the hunter wanted to live and continue being a hunter.

To anyone else, her position was not good. A decorative saber and a dagger that was barely a hand long and barely two fingers wide. Sirius was taller than her, his reach farther, his blade actually sharpened. Maria was handicapped by having people she had to protect, had no trusty Evelyn, forced to rely on her wits, her skills, her body and her will against a foe that would show no mercy, give no quarter, while possessed of greater advantage.

This was not a good position.

This was the best position. For this was the state of being of all hunters.

"What kind of insane combat doctrine is that?" the Third Prince said, looking appalled. "Who wants to be in a disadvantageous position as a matter of course?"

"A crazy person?" Maria said with an innocent smile.

"Well, yes, obviously, but the way it's phrased implies it's the established doctrine of a group."

"A group pf crazy people, then?" Maria said.

"That's... disturbingly plausible."

"They could just be masochists," Katarina suggested.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" she said innocently.

In her eyes, she faced a towering, inhuman pillar of black flame, a force of incredible power she could not hope to match. She could barely make out the human form at its base, only the sword in its hand truly visible, even as black smoke that verged on flame wafted from it.

Walking calmly towards her foe, she smoothly snapped her saber out to her side… and lunged.

---

Mary Hunt was terrified.

The stories had been right! Commoners were a dangerous existence! Why did they still have them around?! Has the parable of the Goodwife Bathory taught them nothing?!?!

"Oh look, Marchioness Bathory is back," Sophia said. "It's been a while."

Clad in the practical exam uniform but with trousers instead of a skirt, a dagger in one hand and a saber in the other, for some reason wearing a tricorned hat that she hadn't been earlier, Maria Campbell had stood before them, her back to Mary, Katarina and bleeding, unconscious Keith. Mary had been trying to staunch the bleeding, using Keith's own handkerchief as she frantically tried to remember everything they'd been taught in medicinal magic classes. Fortunately, it hadn't been too deep, but unless they got Keith medical attention… or a Light Magic wielder who wasn't a commoner insane with bloodlust…!

Mary had glanced at Katarina, who was holding her fiancé's sword. She'd stood over Mary and Keith, her face conflicted but determined.

"Lady Claes," Campbell had said, "Please stay with Lady Hunt."

Katarina glanced down at Mary, and her face grew pained as she saw Keith, lying unconscious. "Be careful Ma– Miss Campbell!" she said, carefully grounding her sword to not tire herself out holding it up as Maria stepped forward.

There goes the tip," Alan commented. "Blunted, right there."

"Well, she is tired, maybe she just forgot," the Third Prince said, even as he winced at the treatment of the weapon.

"I'd never forget to take care of a sword!" Katarina protested. "I know the rules. Never point a sword at anyone, always treat a sword like it's sharp, be sure of your target and what's around it, be sure the blade is clear of obstructions before using..."

Her steps were firm, sure, and unhurried as Maria Campbell closed the distance to Sirius Dieke, raising her sword (when had she gotten a sword? Had the woman had that this whole time?!?!?! Umbasa, they'd had her behind them with a sword this whole time!!!!)…

And then she seemed to just disappear only to reappear swinging that sword inhumanly fast at head-height as if she meant to decapitate Sirius then and there. He barely managed to catch it on his sword, and then it was a confusing whirlwind of movement that Mary couldn't catch…

"Mary, how's Keith?"

Mary wrenched her eyes away from Maria at the sound of the most important person in all the world asking her a question, turning towards her, and then heard the words.

"Will everyone stop looking at me like that?" Mary said. "Don't confuse the story and reality!"

"Well, you're one of the most important people in the world to me Mary," Katarina said, giving her a thumbs up.

Mary carefully didn't meet the gaze of anyone around her. Lady Katarina called her the most important person in the world!

Quickly, she turned back to Keith. Laboriously, she turned him over, trying to keep his wound higher than his heart to lessen the bleeding. Hesitantly, she called on her magic, trying to grasp his blood, trying to keep it from exiting his body…

She caught glimpses out of the corner of her eye, flickers when she dared look. Maria, sword and knife (she had a knife+2 Insight too?!?! How long had she had a knife? Had she been carrying a knife on her this whole time?!?!?!) parallel as she swung both diagonally, barely missing Sirius as he frantically tried to step away. Sirius barely falling out of the way of a lunge that ended with Maria on the other side of the room. Maria leaping all the way to the ceiling far above their heads before coming down and slamming both weapons in her hands with all the force of her body, barely keeping from crippling Sirius on the spot, forcing him to dart away from Katarina.

Commoners were dangerous! They were insanely dangerous! Why did they let one into the school? A school is supposed to be a safe place, why did they allow this ridiculously dangerous commoner into it?!?!?!!

"You know, I'm starting to come to Maria's point of view of this story," Mary said, glaring at the book. "It makes me look like some kind of out of touch noble!"

"Mary, you're the most lady-like noble lady of our generation," Keith pointed out.

"So? That doesn't mean I'm out of touch!"

"What is the current price of bread?" Maria asked.

"... that doesn't prove anything, I don't but my own bread," Mary protested. "What lady would even be able to—"

She cut off. "Wait, I know where this is going... Lady Katarina, do you know how much bread is?"

"Which bakery?" Katarina asked. "What kind of bread? Wheat, rye, black—?"

"This doesn't mean I'm out of touch," Mary said.

Maria parried Sirius' sword with exquisite, perfect timing. He was unbalanced as the blade was knocked aside, and she struck with her saber, the swing short, sharp and precise. It struck his bicep again, the same spot she'd been hitting all this time. The blade was dull, drew no blood, but she did not doubt he was bruised there now, many times over.

He swung at her, his sword gripped in both hands in a backhanded, rising blow. Her saber knocked the sword aside and upward, then reversed and slammed another punishing blow into his bicep, followed by her off-hand rising to swing her dagger to follow through. It missed, being far shorter than the off-hand short sword she was used to, but she didn't let that throw off her rhythm. She raised both blades at her right, holding them parallel to the ground, and lunged. Dagger tore through his jacket, barely missing flesh as her saber struck his left shoulder, making him cry out. Another bruise.

She had never fought like this before now, to weaken and cripple instead of kill. Had she a true blade in her right hand, it would not have been possible. Her soul knew the movements too well, every strike a deadly blow in the heat of the fight, but the blade was dull and she had enough presence of mind to swing instead of stab… most of the time. The hunter in her knew she had to end this fight, end it quickly and decisively and in blood. The noble in her, raised in Cainhurst, knew she'd have to side with Claes in this or be destroyed in the storm to follow, and so she had to defeat Dieke. A lifetime in Cainhurst, the Healing Church and research hall knew this madness that had overtaken him could not be cured, not by any amount of blood, perhaps not even by light magic.

Yet a part of her, a part broken, pained and crying, that had cried herself to sleep when her father had left her, had wanted her mother to hold her and tell her everything would be all right and damn the fact she was a grown woman in her own mind, would not allow it. Not in this place, not with this person…

Everyone covered their ears as Katarina and Sophia both squealed like a door hinge in need of oil.

"She's so precious!" Sophia cried.

"I know, right?" Katarina cried right back.

Maria was looking very conflicted, muttering to herself.

She lashed out with a kick, pushing Sirius back before she crossed her arms before her and lunged. Again the dagger missed but the saber didn't, striking a solid body blow that would knock the wind out of even a beast. The force slammed Sirius into the wall behind him, and only then must he have realized he had been forced too far back.

He raised his sword, but the blade was shaking and he gripped his bicep, then grimaced as that pained his shoulder that had taken blow after blow.

"President…" she said, and Maria was surprised to hear her voice shaking. "Please, stand down. Please, stop…"

"I…" his voice was ragged, in pain. Tears fell from his eyes unheeded as rage burned, fiercer and darker than the black flame that encompassed him. "I will have my revenge…!"

Holding his sword before him with both hands, he lunged.

Maria sidestepped easily, punishing him with a saber blow to his kidneys, but to her surprise he rolled with the blow, running past her toward Lady Claes.

Lady Claes sword snapped up in a guard once more, ready to meet Sirius even as Maria realized her mistake and quickened, darting past Sirius and moving herself between him and Lady Claes. Raising both weapons, she swung her saber in a backhanded descending slash, knocking his sword aside with brute force, her dagger just barely missing on the follow through, before she lunged out with the saber in a stab that once more caught him in the left shoulder.

"Wait, how was that possible?" Keith said. "Sirius was ahead of her and already running for sis. How did she manage to get ahead of him, much less get between them?"

"It must be this 'quicken' thing," the Third Prince said. "It's come up before, and implied to be some kind of ability from her previously life. Or possibly as skill, it's not clear. But clearly it's a means of rapid movement, though it seems to keep her from attacking while moving, since she didn't simply attack Sirius when she passed him. A lot of her fighting style seems very impractical. A backhanded descending slash is the sort of thing that leaves you open when you do it."

"It's a style," Katarina said staunchly.

This time, however, he fell to the ground as he let out a cry, dropping his sword and falling on top of the geometric design that dominated the room. Instinctively, Maria raised both saber and dagger for a downward slash that would finish this… and found herself frozen.

He just lay there, panting, sword just out of easy reach. Two steps, and she managed to kick it away, leaving him helpless.

"It's over, Lord President," she said, her voice shaking in a way it hadn't since she'd been a rookie hunter, so very, very long ago. "Y-you have to stand down now…"

His kick was swift and slammed into her ankle, knocking her feet out from under her. The darkness around him roared, seeming to gather into his hand as it slammed onto down onto her face…

"Yup, that's what definitely would have happened," Alan said, the other boys nodding with him.

"What was her stance that getting one foot kicked out managed to knock her down?" Keith said.

"Guys! You're ruining the dramatic moment!" Sophia cried.

Darkness…

And then, like a hazy light at the end of a wavering tunnel, she heard voices.

"What are you doing in a place like this?" she heard a gentle voice say.

It was the memories of the one she knew as Sirius Dieke… a boy born under the name Rafael Walt…

She saw his life as though through his eyes, saw him growing up as a commoner… saw his mother, who was all he had in the world…

She saw her die… saw the ritual that had happened in this very room that had burned her life to create Dark Magic…

She saw and heard his mother's last words… "Please… live. Live… and be… happy…"

She saw and heard his mother's last words… "Please… Avenge me…"

I will have my revenge…

If he cannot give it to me… YOU will…

"Should we ask Rafael how accurate this is to his recollections?" Alan said.

"That's a morbid thing to ask, don't you think?" Mary said, glaring at her fiancé. "'Hey Rafael, can we ask you if this book is accurately depicting the death of your mother?' Do you want him trying to kill us again? Because I'd probably help him this time."

The marchioness had betrayed him! She had killed him, had him disposed of like garbage as soon as she'd gotten what she wanted, all to keep her secrets!

But he had endured. He had held on, used his new dark magic to go beyond death, to bind his spirit to the boy. They had both been betrayed by THAT WOMAN. Surely he would be willing to help him get revenge for them both?

"And now we're seeing through the perspective of the spirit that possessed Rafael," the Third Prince said. "Why is the lettering so thick though?"

"Eh, it's just a stylistic change to denote the different perspective," Sophia said dismissively.

But now, the boy was useless. Broken, conflicted, defeated. But ah… what a find, this who had broken him. Her soul burned with darkness, with loneliness, hate and envy! She was skilled, a killer beyond any he had ever seen! He would no longer have to wait, to bide his time, to slowly twist that boy towards their vengeance! With this girl, he would take THAT WOMAN'S life with his own hands!

"A hateful, envious killer," Maria said blandly. "Our heroine."

"It's an evil spirit who wants to murder someone, I'm not about to trust his endorsement of someone's moral character," Sophia said.

His essence flowed into her, tearing apart the hooks and roots and binds that had bound him to the boy despite the magic he had been surprised to find dwelling within him. No matter. He had possessed a wielder of Light Magic once, he could do it again! He'd grown in his time within the boy, had learned of the boundless power of Dark Magic. could do things that he couldn't when he'd first made the boy his host! This time he would plunge her into a deep, cursed sleep from which she would not awaken, and there would be no one to hold him back as he used his new body to FINALLY get his revenge!

There was a sound like a bell…

He stood in a dream and knew it was a dream. Had he made some mistake?

No, no… She had not fallen into quiet slumber like that Claes girl (how had she awoken?), but had clawed to remain conscious, pulling him down into dream with her. No matter! Here, in mind and memory, Dark Magic was at its greatest! No matter how much she tried to resist, his power was absolute!

Two doors stood before him, wide and tall. His dream-self was a monstrous wraith of dark flame and shadows in the shape of a robed giant, a last vestige of his earthly form. Raising his hands, each large enough to grasp a man, he pushed the doors open.

"Sister, please stop squealing like that, it's very hard to hear Sophia," Keith said.

"Sorry," Katarina said, looking giddy. "We're getting to—"

"No spoilers!" Sophia cried.

"Sorry!"

Beyond them was a vast room with wooden floors. Candles burned on racks along the walls. Confidently, he stepped inside, ready to crush this girl's last remnants of resistance so he could claim her body for his own.

On the far side of the room stood a chair. On it, a woman sat with legs crossed and head bowed, her hat obscuring her face. A weapon of some sort lay on her lap.

"What a strange twist this tale takes," she said softly, yet her words seemed to echo throughout the room as he took another step inside. "You are the shadow over themy Lord Head Clerk's heart? You are the hatred and madness I saw in his eyes?"

"He betrayed me! He is weak! But I… I will have my vengeance, girl!" he roared. He loomed over her. Such a small, insignificant thing…

Slowly, the woman's head rose. Pale hair on pale skin, as if under moonlight, her eyes burned into his. "No… you will not. You are a fool. You could have had your revenge at any time, simply by denouncing the marchioness. A word to Nicol Ascart, who considered Sirius Dieke a friend, and you could have had your vengeance by the third month of last year at the pittance of a few words. You could have asked for help, you fool. You need not have done this alone. And because of your foolishness, an ill-used soul pays the price. A blameless girl nearly died by your foul power. No more. You will not hurt him anymore!"

"Huh... that's actually a very good point," the Third Prince mused. "I mean, Nicol might not have understood what dark magic was, but just telling him about all the Marchioness's abductions and crimes would have let him pass the word to his father or me, and that would have been enough to at least begin investigating."

"Given the spirit's attitude, it probably didn't trust any nobles to take action," Mary said. "Or it could just have been insane. It tried to get Lady Katarina expelled for bullying, of all things."

Uncrossing her legs, she stood, a long weapon with a blade at either end in her hand. Raising it before her, she wrenched, and one weapon became two.

"I will liberate him… from your putrid influence!"

Spreading her arms out to either side, she impaled herself on her own blades, hunching over as their tips and more erupted from her back. As he stared, confused, she wrenched them free. Blood exploded everywhere as fire licked the edges of the swords, which had elongated with blades seemingly made from blood.

"You are my prey… AND I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU LIKE THE BEAST YOU ARE!!!"

Cursed Spirit of Vengeance, Wielder of Dark Magic
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Lady Maria Campbell of the Astral Clocktower
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They all had to wait for Sophia and Katarina to stop squealing.

"Well, that's very evocative imagery," Alan commented once the two finally stopped to catch their breath. "And it's already been established that this is all a dream, so dramatically stabbing herself probably isn't as dangerous as it would normally be. There's those bars again, though, and now Maria has one too."

"And a title," the Third Prince commented. "I wonder what this 'astral clocktower' signifies?"

"It can't have been very prestigious, since by all indications she was some kind of assassin or killer of some sort," Alan said. "For all we know she's called that because she literally lived in a clocktower."

"So, she's like Ginger?" Katarina said.

Everyone stared at her in alarm at the new name.

"Who's Ginger?" Mary said suspiciously.

"You know, Ginger! Baron Tucker's daughter? Fray's best friend? Ginger! She's in her first year, and their family is so poor she had to help by doing farm work." Katarina sighed. "She's so lucky, getting to work at an actual farm!"

Everyone exchanged looks, silently agreeing to add this 'Ginger Tucker' to the list of people to watch. She was exactly the sort of person who would fall in love with Katarina and become a new rival!

Chapter Text

Commoners were dangerous! They were insanely dangerous! Why did they let one into the school? A school is supposed to be a safe place, why did they allow this ridiculously dangerous commoner into it?!?!?!?!

"What's Mary doing here? We were in the middle of Maria's fight scene," Keith said snidely.

Mary threw a snowball at him, which shattered into powder on impact.

Her maid Martha rolled her eyes as she knelt down to scrape up the snow before it melted and soaked into the carpet and sofa.

"No water magic near the books!" Sophia and Katarina cried.

Mary winced. "Sorry..."

This was his lament. The battle should have been ridiculously in his favor. He towered over her like a tree, eyes level with the middle of the clock on the far wall. She didn't care. She had twirled into the air, swords burning with fire and blood, and had slammed both into his face, which exploded. She had ripped at his legs with relentless slashes of such precise grace it was like she was dancing in a cloud of fire and blood, driving him to his knees, where she had been tearing at him with both blades like she was at a ballet recital. She had snapped her weapons together and used it to shoot a beam of fire and blood at him. She had used a strange weapon that had felt like someone had slammed a battering ram into his knee, making him fall, followed by more of the aforementioned ballet of fire and blood.

"So this Maria has Fire Magic now?" the Third Prince commented.

"This is supposed to be all happening in her head, so dream logic probably applies," Alan said. "So that can probably excuse the fire and blood. Though I have to wonder how much blood she's imagining that she's throwing enough of it to be used as a weapon. That would be a lot of blood."

He tried to call his Dark Magic. Dark Magic affected emotions, memories and to some degree the mind, but it could not affect what was not there. Memories could be altered or suppressed so it could not be recalled, but they could not be destroyed nor created from nothing. Since this was a place of the mind, he didn't need to touch her to affect her with his Dark Magic, only exert his will. He had reached out, searching for fear, uncertainty, nervousness, anything that would erode her will. All he found was hate and rage. He tried to alter her memories, but events were too recent. He tried to disorient her, but a will like iron pressed through, and no matter how hard he tried, all he got for his trouble were indirect hits that burned like fire.

To his horror, he realized he was shrinking. With every strike, every cleave, every explosion of her hand weapon, every absurd beam, darkness flew from him like blood from a wound, covering the floors, the walls and the woman, who seemed to drink it in like dry sand as he grew smaller and smaller. He tried to lash at her with his giant fists. He missed every time as she seemed to glide across the wooden floor like a leaf in the wind, punished as her blades tore at his hand and arms. He tried kicking and stomping at her, but there was little effect, and he found himself being driven to his knees as ankles were torn, his knees taking the full brunt of her bodily slamming into them and cleaving them with her combined weapon, making him fall, and his head being slashed repeatedly soon followed as he desperately tried to roll, to move, to protect himself. He had tried picking up the racks of candles and dropping them on her, throwing them at her, kicking them at her and swinging them at her. She'd barely taken the time to reduce them to so much wax and kindling before tearing at him like a pair of possessed scissors. He'd desperately thrown his entire body at her, hoping to catch her, only for her to evade him like he'd sent her a message of his intentions, followed by a twirling leap that ended in pain.

He had tried to run, rushing for the doors, desperate to put this demon behind him, only to find his way blocked by fog and pain at his back as she punished his cowardice. He tried to dig his way through the floors, ripping out boards with frantic panic and diving into the hole, only to find himself falling down from the ceiling and back into that chamber, where the monster of fire and blood waited, her arms crossed as she lunged at him, bisecting his body.

He tried to fall to his knees as they reformed, tried to beg for mercy, to make it stop, anything!

"The writer really wants us to know Maria is winning this fight," the Third Prince said dryly.

"There isn't even any uncertainty," Alan agreed. "This is just one-sided."

"I know! She's so cool!" Katarina gushed. "Go, Maria! Fight for your man!"

Maria's fingers twitched slightly.

Her right hand slammed into his chest, ripping through the dark flesh as if it were paper. Darkness that was blood, blood that was darkness erupted in a shower. She had long since stopped looking like a woman, only darkness given human form. They stood eye to eye now. Her grip tightened in his chest as he felt her grasp something important. No, no, no, please, don't…!

Almost gently, she pulled him towards her, her left hand cradling him almost gently. Her words were a soft breath against his ear. "Though you had cause for vengeance… you shouldn't have hurt the boy," she whispered.

As his knees buckled, she let his body droop… and ripped her hand out of his chest. There was another hand clutched in it, a small hand desperately holding on. A small arm followed the hand as he continued to fall to the floor.

Rafael Walt, covered in darkness like gore, was ripped from his body. His every bond, his every fetter and link to the boy was torn as the woman took him away. He howled in desperation, feeling the void in his body as he lost his strength, his only connection to the world of the living. "No!" he roared. "My revenge!"

"You are obviously too incompetent to accomplish anything," the woman said coldly, holding the form of the child close to her chest. Tenderly, she wiped away the darkness covering him. "I will see to it he has his vengeance on those who destroyed his happiness. That his mother's wish is fulfilled. Die knowing that someone will accomplish what you couldn't."

"All right, the imagery is very vivid," Alan said. "I can see someone making a nice painting from this scene."

"Ooh, can we?" Katarina said eagerly. "I'd love to see that!"

"I'll have it commissioned for you as soon as possible, my Katarina!" the Third Prince declared.

"I'll paint it myself, Lady Katarina!" Mary cried.

"Eh? You can paint, Mary?"

"O-oh course I can! It's a perfectly acceptable hobby for a lady!"

Everyone rolled their eyes, knowing that Mary would be looking for someone to teach her how to pain as soon as she could.

For a moment, he wavered as he thought of this woman with THE WOMAN in her sights. His skin, a mere shell of shadows over emptiness, not of the dark void but simply of air, deflated.

He felt a hand rest on his head.

"Begone," she commanded, and eldritch light bloomed in her hand. "His vengeance starts with you, murderer."

He closed his eyes as the light washed the darkness away.

Cursed Spirit of Vengeance, Wielder of Dark Magic
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Lady Maria Campbell of the Astral Clocktower
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Prey Slaughtered

"Why is that in green?" Keith asked.

"I have no idea," Sophia said. "Might as well ask what those red bars are for."

Maria lowered her hand as the last vestiges of who had tormented and used Rafael Walt so finally saw true death, wasting away to nothing. She looked at the sleeping boy in her arms. "It's over, Lord Head Clerk," she murmured. "You are free now. He can't hurt you anymore."

In her arms, the young Rafael Walt slept the sleep of the innocent.

Gently, clumsily, she called on her magic, drawing it to her hand. Eldritch power gathered there, and she touched his sleeping brow. His eyes fluttered awake, widening as they met her gaze, before he disappeared in her arms as he returned to the waking world.

Bathed in darkness, Maria looked about at the familiar, destroyed surroundings. She wondered, should she cross the threshold of those walls, would she find the flower garden? The research hall?

She shook her head at such foolishness and, out of habit, searched for her Rakuyo. Picking it up, she looked at it, smiling in bittersweet memory. Though she had cast it away, she was thankful it had come back to her hand in this last, lonely fight.

She remembered when she'd had it made, commissioned in secret from the smiths of Cainhurst. A fool girl's foolish dream, for her world to be bigger than one horizon, to live adventures instead of just reading of them. A little noble who'd wished to be a heroine.

"You're totally a heroine, Maria!" Katarina cried.

"She totally is!" Sophia cried.

"I don't think it's that impressive," Mary said.

There were two gasps of shock.

"Mary!" Katarina exclaimed.

"Are we even reading the same story?" Sophia demanded. "Look at all the character development!"

Maria raised a hand and patted reassuringly Mary on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Lady Mary. I think she's overrated too."

"Thank you, my friend," she said, glad she had this chance to say this even in just a dream.

She gazed on it one last time, remembering every groove and curve. Taking hold of the short sword gently, she wrenched the halves apart.

And for the last time, she turned her blades upon herself.

This time, she did not miss her heart.

Nightmare Slain

"Wait, what?" Sophia and Katarina exclaimed.

"Did she just story-end herself?" the smaller girl cried.

"I know, right?" Katarina cried.

"...sister, didn't you already read this part?"

"It's still shocking!"

A Katarina Not-Dream Sequence

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… come on Keith, keep your blood on the inside where it belongs! If anything happens to you, Lady Katarina will cry, and you don't want Lady Katarina to cry, do you?"

Everyone nodded in silent agreement. Yup, they didn't want Lady Katarina to cry.

"Hey, Mary, I think they're done!"

"Huh? What was that Lady Katarina?"

"I think Rafael and Maria are done doing sword-y things to each other!"

"Sword-y things?"

"That's the official technical term! I'm a trained swordswoman, so I know how you're supposed to talk about sword-y things! Anyway, they're done. Look, they've gone and taken a nap!"

"Sister, you know the term isn't actually 'sword-y things', right?"

Katarina blinked, tilting her head in a way that made her look like a puppy. "Eh? What is the term, then?"

"Yes, Keith. What is the proper term?" the Third rince said with a wide smile,

"... I don't know, but I'm sure it's not 'sword-y things'!"

"…"

"Ah, I completely understand, I always want to take a nap too after sword practice. But master says I need to do cooldowns, and then Anne says I need to take a bath, so by the time it's all done I've missed my chance to take a nap…"

"Lady Katarina, this is our chance! Use your sword while they're down!"

"My Katarina, do not take a nap immediately after sword practice!"

"He's right, you idiot! You'll end up sore all over!"

"Aren't you two confusing the story and reality?"

"Sister, look me in the eye and tell me you've never tried to take a nap right after sword practice."

"... Sophia, what happens next!-?"

"Eh? Why would I do that?"

"Lady Katarina, he tried to kill you!"

"Um, I don't really think so… anyway, Maria took care of it. Now that he's gotten it out of his system he'll finally be willing to talk to me!"

"Lady Katarina, he tried to kill you, the princes and Keith!"

"No, no, we've already talked about this. If he really wanted to kill anyone, he'd have done it after he used dark magic on them to make them sleep."

"I think he was a little busy, Lady Katarina."

"Don't they look cute together? It's a real sleep-cute, don't you think?"

"…(sigh)…"

Everyone nodded in sympathy for the Mary in the book. Yup, that was a very Katarina conversation.

"Ooh, ooh, they're waking up! Good morning you two! Had a nice nap? Ready to talk now?"

"Lady Katarina…? What was I…?"

"Lord Head Clerk, could you please take your hand off my face?"

"Huh? Ah! S-sorry! I… I had the strangest dream…"

"Dream?"

"… a beautiful angel… holding me…"

"What an overactive imagination you possess, Lord Head Clerk. Is this what you do when you desert your post, fantasize about imaginary women in suspiciously hidden rooms?"

Everyone just managed to cover their ears before the high-pitched squeals came.

"Someone's jealous...!" Sophia cooed.

"She's so cute!" Katarina agreed.

"N-no! Wait, what… AH! What have I done! Lady Claes, I'm so sorry!"

"Please, call me Katarina!"

"No, he will not."

"M-Maria?"

"It would be most improper for commoners like us to refer to you like that, Lady Claes. Please do not allow yourself to fall to such sloppy habits. It is most unbecoming of a noble."

"Moh, Mar– Miss Campbell! You sound like my mother!"

"Who sounds like a fine and reasonable woman."

"H-hey, if you're going to be talking, can someone, maybe someone with rare and powerful Light Magic, take care of this hole in Keith's arm?"

"Thank you for caring for my well-being, Mary," Keith said.

Mary snuffed haughtily, turning up her nose. "I-it's not like it really happened or anything! Don't confuse the story and reality, hmph!"

"...Keith."

Keith blinked at the uncharacteristically serious tone. "Yes, sister?"

"Remember, stealing other men's fiancées is something only trash people do, okay? Don't do it."

"Sister!"

"Ah! Keith, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!"

"Dark Magic."

"Dark Magic. Ah, wait, how did you know it was Dark Magic, Miss Campbell?"

"I saw it in a dream."

"Eh? That doesn't make sense!"

"You of all people have no right to say that, Lady Katarina!"

They all couldn't help but burst out in laughter at that last one.

All except for Katarina, who just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, no that doesn't make sense! He never mentioned what Dark Magic was or what it did to Maria, so why would she say that? Plot hole!"

"Katarina, there's such a thing as being too much of an art snob."

Rakuyo

Hunter weapon wielded by Lady Maria Campbell of the Astral Clocktower.

A trick sword originated in the same country as the Cainhurst Chikage, only this sword feeds not off blood, but instead demands great dexterity.

One day, when she needed it most, the blade returned to her side like a quiet, unfaltering friend. Perhaps its bearer had wished for just such a friend…"

"Huh... you know, now that I think of it, could these be those 'item description' the story mentioned a while back?" Sophia said. "I mean, they're literally descriptions of items, even if you havet o read between the lines to realize what they're describing."

"Hey, you're right!" Alan exclaimed. "Huh, very vague and poetic. It's almost literally a story bread crumb. Well, three, to be fair. One direct statement, one vague statement, and one poetic statement very subject to interpretation. Three little bits of story that you can interpret in all sorts of ways. The hat and the decorative saber's descriptions were structured like that too, weren't they? So, you use the crumbs from the item descriptions to try and assemble together the backgrounds of characters? That's..."

"Brilliant!" Sophia said.

"... I was going to say a quick way to have your readers start arguments with each other," Alan said. "Everyone's going to have their own interpretation of what they mean."

"Eh, fans do that anyway, it's what makes us all violently unhinged!"

Chapter Text

And they lived happily ever after…

Even as a child in her first life, Maria knew of no greater lie ever told to her face she was expected to believe.

Had this been a simple altercation, it would not have been 'happily ever after', it would have been 'more paperwork for the student council'. As it was…

"Why is the most consistent characterization in this story Maria's obsession with paperwork?" Alan said.

"Because she has no other redeeming traits?" Maria said flatly. "And I'm not really sure it counts, because it's paperwork."

Once the princes and Lord Claes had been roused, Lady Ascart had stopped screaming from the other side of the now-fogless doorway (Lady Ascart had apparently been too overcome with screaming, and something about fumes and rain, to go for help, and her brother had been too concerned to leave her), and Maria had managed to use Light Magic to ensure Lord Claes was in no danger of bleeding to death, the Lord Head Clerk– or perhaps just the Head Clerk now?– told them everything. About how he had been born to Marquess Dieke and a maid in his service that he had raped, about how he was raised as a commoner with only his mother for family, and how he had been living as Sirius Dieke.

Maria told them how she suspected he had obtained Dark Magic. Finally, she also told them about how he had been controlled for the past seven years by that very same Dark Magic.

"The Dark Spirit of Vengeance of the Dark Magic wielder who transferred Sirius Dieke's memories to him was possessing him?" the Third Prince said. "Is that really your explanation?"

Maria grabbed Rafael by the shoulders and held him in front of the prince. "Look at this face. Does this look like the face of a force of such terrible evil and destruction as to be able to summon the fog to mark the boundary of his chamber?"

Rafael tried to smile apologetically and only managed to look constipated.

"Yeah, if you look at him Rafael doesn't really look like someone who'd try to kill Lady Katarina," Alan said. "Most of those tend to be women."

"That's because Rafael is a good person who just happened to have an evil voice in his head," Katarina said kindly.

"Nah, Rafael definitely looks like a serial killer," Sophia said. "Serial killers look just like everybody else, after all. You know, the kind of inoffensive face that everyone just sort of glances over, with a bland smile that makes people feel at ease..."

"Why is everyone looking at Maria like that?" Katarina said. "Aw, you look so cute when you pout, Maria!"

The pout became a tranquil smile.

"There! That's the smug! That's the smug!" Sophia declared, pointing.

To their credit, the Third Prince, his brother, Lord Claes and Lord Ascart did study him intently. "Well, I suppose not…" the Third prince reluctantly agreed.

"I heard you need to be at least ten feet tall to be able to summon the fog," Lord Claes volunteered.

"What about that cult of lunatics in Brightstone Cove who locked themselves up in that building?" Prince Alan said.

"I think that was just faked with water magic, the guardsman who volunteered to go in said they all died in one hit," Lord Ascart said.

"Wait, really?" Prince Alan said.

"Yes, he said he was in a such a state of terror he went in swinging his sword at anything that moved and kept swinging until everything stopped moving. People outside said it didn't take very long. Though perhaps you could argue their aggregate height was more than ten feet tall."

"This is a very strange fog they're talking about," Alan said.

"It's probably another detail the writer added," the Third Prince said.

"Which means it will probably be relevant to the plot later on," Sophia said.

"Maria's much more touchy-feely with the president now," Lady Claes chirped, grinning widely. Ah, this girl. How could Maria have missed how innocent and simple she was all along? Did Lady Claes perhaps hit her head as a child? She seemed to remember some sort of story about that. It would certainly explain so much. Or perhaps she simply neglected to wear a hat on hot days

"Of course," Maria said. "He's a commoner too. Manhandling him is perfectly acceptable."

Why was she squealing? Lady Claes, stop acting like an adorable puppy! Puppies only looked cute to make you forget they turned into dogs, the most horrible monsters in the world, second only to giant rats! The proof was how beasts look so much like dogs!

"Yes, exactly! Dogs are terrible!" Katarina declared.

"Is this some sort of bizarre commoner mating ritual I don't know about?" Prince Alan said.

"No, it's not," Rafael said hastily.

"I don't know why you would think such a thing, your highness," Maria said. "Commoners manhandle other commoners all the time, it's perfectly normal."

"I… don't think it is?" Rafael said.

"You've been pretending to be a noble all this time and are woeful out of touch and outdated," Maria said. "Trust me, I'm a commoner."

Why had Lady Claes' squealing increased in volume? Lady Ascart, not you too! Was this perhaps some noble behavior that had no equivalent in Cainhurst?

"Big sister, Sophia, please stop confusing the story and reality," Keith said, his hands over his ears as the two squealed.

"This is terrible writing," Maria said. "It's nothing like me at all."

"This is insane!" Lady Hunt said. "Do you really think we believe this asinine story that you dueled this 'spirit of vengeance' in your mind when it tried to possess you and managed to defeat it with the power of Light Magic?"

"…Yes? That is what happened after all," Maria said, not untruthfully. So what if Light Magic was only used a little bit at the end, it was all still factually true!

Lady Hunt pointed at her in what Maria thought was an overly-dramatic fashion. Her face was filled with suspicion, such that it overflowed and was pooling down to fill her large… vials of blood. "How do we know this isn't some ploy the two of you concocted together to make fools of us? You had all the time you needed, alone together in the student council room, doing who knows what things– Lady Katarina, would you please stop squealing, I'm trying to be serious here!"

"On the other hand, Lady Mary is a great character. She should get more lines," Maria said.

"I'm not sure how to feel about this support..." Mary muttered.

Maria agreed. Humans should not make those high-pitched sounds unless they were being burned and gasses were escaping from their stomach. It was most distressing.

"Aaand that's a disturbing image we didn't need," Keith said.

"Ahem! How do we know this isn't just some sort of subversive commoner plot to bring down the nobility?" Mary demanded.

"Er, it IS a commoner plot to bring down the nobility," Rafael admitted. "I… and the spirit too, I suppose… wanted to get vengeance on… that woman… for killing our mother.

"Ah hah! He admits it!"

Maria tried to recall, had Lady Hunt been wearing a hat those times they'd gardened? Clearly the heat had gotten to her. Or perhaps her mind was simply addled with lust. Whatever her mistakes with Lady Claes, Lady Hunt was acknowledged by all as an intelligent, sophisticated woman who was clearly deeply in lust with Katarina Claes. Perhaps this was some sort of attempt to get into her sheets.

"Would you all stop looking at me like that!"

Katarina patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Mary. Just tell Anne and you can borrow my sheets any time you want."

"Sister, don't confuse the story and reality."

"Oh, right. Sorry, Mary! But you can borrow my sheets if you want, just tell Anne."

…

All right, that was simply disturbing. Lady Claes had the mind of a not particularly bright child! And they'd still allowed Mary Hunt in her vicinity when her intentions were plain to all? After this, Maria was going to have to write a strongly worded, anonymous letter to the Duke and Duchess Claes, perhaps advising some sort of body guard. Eventually, one of these lustful perverts was going to get lucky, and then who would protect Lady Claes from their insatiable lusts?

"Sophia, please bring that book over here, I'm going to burn it," the Third Prince said, red-faced with indignation at the scurrilously untrue statements of the book as a made a flame hover over his hand.

"No, not yet! Maria and Rafael haven't slept together yet!"

"Spoilers, spoilers!"

"Sorry, Sophia! Don't burn the book!"

The Third Prince sighed. "Ugh, fine..."

"Though in my defense, I'm pretty sure the man in black who became the spirit was landed nobility himself, so really, I'm just a poor commoner pawn caught in the plots of my betters?" Rafael ventured.

"Don't try to distract us!" Lady Hunt said. "What you did to Lady Katarina was unforgivable!"

"But don't worry, Rafael!" Lady Claes said, with a wide, gentle smile. "I forgive you…"

"Lady Katarina…!" Lady Hunt sighed.

"Huh..." Mary said. "Lady Katarina, did you actually forgive Rafael for trying to kill you?"

Katarina gasped. "Oh, you're right! I should tell him I forgive him next time I see him. He's been going around all this time thinking I haven't forgiven him! He must feel terrible. Thanks for reminding me, Mary!"

"That... wasn't the point I was making, but I'm glad to have helped you, Lady Katarina..."

Rafael's face reddened slightly, staring at–-

Maria jerked him back. "Lady Claes, please do not be so familiar with a commoner," Maria said sternly. "As a duke's daughter, you must refer to Rafael as 'Mister Walt' from now on. Any other form of address is inappropriate for one of your rank."

"EH?! Rafael too?"

"I… don't mind…?"

"Hush you. You're a commoner, not a noble. You should refer to her as 'Lady Claes', not 'Lady Katarina', otherwise you could be accused of disrespecting a noble, the punishment for which is probably death, which would be most unfortunate, considering the bloodshed that would ensue."

"Bloodshed…?" Rafael said nervously.

"Eh?! I wouldn't do something like that!" Lady Claes cried, distressed.

"Darn it, I should have thought of that!" two voices muttered, and the Third Prince and Mary both looked at each other, disgusted that they'd been thinking the same thing.

"May I also remind you that, while Rafael was minutely, tangentially involved in Lady Claes' very enjoyable nap," Maria said, "that even he in his position as head of the student council could not have possibly authorized the construction of this chamber, whose purpose was the study and development of Dark Magic. At the very least, it implies that the woman formerly known as the Marchioness Dieke has managed to corrupt parts of both the academy and the ministry to be able to construct and use this building so."

"So you say," Lady Hunt said.

"She brings up a good point, Mary," Prince Alan said, gesturing at the large room and especially at the magic circle on the floor. "No one could have done this by themselves, even with Earth Magic. The Ministry keeps information about Dark Magic locked up tight, so either someone on the inside who shouldn't have been talking told her, or she went digging for really shady magic and eventually found out about it that way, which couldn't have been for anything good. Though I gotta ask, how are you doing the purple flame?"

Rafael blinked, looking at all the candles glowing with purple eldritch light. "Oh, I added saltpeter to the wicks. It's just something I learned in alchemy class."

"Huh, neat! I thought it was dark magic or something, but it was just alchemy? Hey, do you think we could use this for the graduation ceremony?"

Lady Hunt glared at her fiancée like he'd betrayed her for some reason.

"Saltpeter..." Alan muttered as he wrote on his notebook.

"Alan, what are you doing?"

"Look, candles with purple flames sounds like a wonderful idea for this year's graduation ceremony!"

"I… your royal highnesses, I would like to surrender myself to your custody and authority," Rafael said. "I would like to turn myself in for… for the crime of assaulting Lady Claes with Dark Magic, and to submit evidence regarding the unlawful doings of the Marchioness Dieke regarding the use of Dark Magic."

Gently extricating himself from Maria, who had been holding him protectively, he got down on his knees and bowed. "Please, I beg you to see justice done. Whatever form that justice may take."

The sins of Madam Dieke, her men, and Rafael's own sins were hence laid bare.

"Ah, wait don't go adding the assault thing, I already said I forgive him! Don't I get a say in that?!"

"Hey, Rafael didn't get punished for putting me to sleep, did he?" Katarina asked.

"He's still alive, isn't he?" Keith said.

Katarina blinked in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"... no sister, he didn't get punished for that."

"Oh, good!"

A while after Rafael had turned himself in, news of Marchioness Dieke and her men being arrested spread across the circles of noble society, exposing how she made contacts in the Ministry of Magic and Academy's administration through corruption to experiment on forbidden magics. This had required a simultaneous operation led by the two younger princes to ensure no one could escape, especially at the Ministry. Magical violence had ensued, which had caused much excitement among the school who had been in a position to watch a part of the Ministry building explode.

"Hey, why didn't we see part of the ministry building explode?" Sophia demanded angrily as she glared at the princes.

"Because this book is clearly more exciting than real life," the Third Prince said.

"Darn it, why are our lives so boring!"

"We're in the middle of reading a strangely story that has disturbingly accurate information on our lives to try to figure out who might have possibly written it so that we can find them because they clearly know too much."

Sophia gave him a befuddled look. "What's you're point?"

Unfortunately, despite all this secrecy, Marchioness Dieke appeared to have planned things out thoroughly. Despite the coordinated attack on her manor, she and some of her men had managed to disappear…

…………………………………​

Marchioness Dieke cursed the princes, wherever they may be. She had been so sure that she had covered her tracks, but apparently she had somehow raised the suspicions of the blastedly talented Third Prince. Curse his pretty, arousing face! She had no idea how much he knew, but she had to hurry to the Academy! Her poor, poor Sirius! She should never have let him out of her sight…!

"Oh, for....even in this story you have random Marchionesses are trying to suck up to you!" Alan said, exasperated.

"Yes, my blasted talent and arousing face is a burden I must bear," the Third Prince said with lofty suffering.

She led the way, traveling on dark, secret roads towards the school, routes they had found over the years of using the building they had established there as a research site. She had never thought she would need to go this way again, not after her success, of managing to cure her son of his disease, but she still knew the way.

Two of her men, the only ones she had left for now, flanked her, one slightly behind, the other slightly ahead. They watched the trees, trying to see with what little moonlight there was. They had not risked lamps or torches.

Oh, darling Sirius, please be well! If she had to rescue him from the Ministry's dungeons, then she would do it! She would rescue him and they'd leave the country together after killing these two fools to cover their tracks, and then they'd be a family together, and he would love her just like his treacherous father should have, and then they'd be together…

"..." everyone didn't say.

"Do you think we should ask Rafael if—" Alan began.

"No, let's not do that," Maria said.

Everyone nodded.

"Don't worry, she gets what's coming to—" Katarina said.

"Spoilers, spoilers!"

"Sorry, Sophia!"

In the quiet of the night, there was a snap. Her horse jerked, then suddenly collapsed, sending her tumbling to the ground. She let out a cry of pain as the hard ground hit.

There was a thud like someone had dropped a slab of meat, and suddenly rain seemed to be falling on the Marchioness as the horses cried out in panic. She looked about in confusion, staring in horror as she saw the blood gushing from the headless neck of one of her men before his corpse toppled of his rearing, blood-maddened horse.

There was a much wetter sound behind her and another shower of blood and malodorous offal exploded over her. She turned, staring in horror at the bisected remains of her other man as his top half fell from his horse, which was bolting into the woods. As the horse moved, she found herself starring at a dark clad figure. A tricorned hat was pulled low over their face, and a dark cloth was over their mouth. In their hand was a saber. Under the moonlight, its razor-sharp edge gleamed.

"I perhaps should not be interfering here," the figure said, walking steadily, patiently towards her as the Marchioness struggled with her skirts, trying to get up, to crawl back, to run, and having difficulty doing any of those. "When not addled by lust, the princes are surprisingly competent.

"Hey, we're always competent!" Alan protested.

"What about when addled by lust?" Sophia asked brightly.

"Oh, shut up shorty," the Third Prince said.

But I made a vow that I would see to his vengeance. And the onus of that vengeance lies with you."

The Marchioness stumbled to her knees, getting her feet under her.

"Oh yes, please run. Make this a hunt. Let's see how far you can flee…"

She ran wildly into the night.

"... so, this woman actually is a violent killer," Maria said blandly.

"I know!" Katarina gushed. "Isn't she amazing?"

Everyone stared at her.

"Perhaps I should do more sword practice..." the Third Prince muttered.

It was a beautiful morning in Sorcier. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the nearly naked body hung upside-down by their ankles from the front gate, stripped and barely covered with rags to conceal their modesty. Their hands had been bound and flopped below their head, and blood covered their face.

Poor Lady Monika Just was the first to find the body on her early morning attempt to confess to Katarina Claes at her garden, and her scream quite loudly woke the school, as the sight had left her quite understandably disturbed and she had to go for a lie down.

It was only after someone had gotten the nerve to fetch a ladder that they realized the seeming-corpse was no such thing, and was in fact an exhausted Marchioness Dieke…

"Who's Monika Just?" Mary said, her eyebrow twitching. "Is she a real student here?"

"Oh, she's the one in mourning, someone she knew died last week," Sophia said.

"...I'm sorry for her loss," Mary muttered.

"It wasn't a relative, it was her favorite horse," Keith said.

Katarina gasped. "Oh no! Princess Platinum died?"

"... Katarina, how do you know the name of her horse?"

"Oh, Monika always tells me about her when she talks to me in the morning."

"Mary, why are you looking at me like that?" the Third Prince said.

"You know why."

"I resent the implication I would do anything to an innocent horse!"

Chapter Text

Once everyone stopped accusing the ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance of killing a horse—they didn't quite believe he didn't actually do it, but they were willing to set the subject aside for now because it had stopped being funny—Sophia went back to reading.

"She was found how?" Siri– er, Rafael Walt said as he followed the Third Prince towards the Ministry's Medicinal Magic secure wing.

"Hung upside-down from the front gate, practically naked, covered in cuts, bruises, insect stings, salt and lemon juice," the Third Prince repeated as he led the way. He turned to the younger man, raising an eyebrow. "That is the biggest smile I've ever seen on the face of a human being, and I've known Katarina Claes for over half my life."

"Wow. That must be a really big smile," Keith said disbelievingly.

"Eh, I don't believe it," Mary said. "No one has a bigger smile than Lady Katarina!"

"Am I smiling?" Rafael said. "I didn't even notice."

"You should have gotten your vengeance sooner, you're much more interesting to talk to like this," the Third Prince said.

"I'll take that in the spirit it was given," Rafael said. "Salt and lemon juice? How do we know?"

"Well, the fact she smells like lemons, for one thing," the prince said. "She was completely covered, there were salt crystals clinging to her like someone had handed Katarina a salted pretzel…

"That's a terrible comparison. There wouldn't be any salt, Katarina would have licked her hands clean," Alan said.

"…"

"…"

Keith sighed. "…Maria, could you heal Sophia and Mary's nosebleeds, please?"

huh, I didn't think it was physically possible for your smile to get any bigger, but somehow it did. Doesn't that hurt?"

"It's a good pain," Rafael said. "No one saw anything? Heard anything? Wouldn't the screams of agony, pleading and arrogant declarations have been heard for a long way?"

"As your concerned acquaintance, I really recommend you stop smiling for a while, I think your skin is tearing," the Third Prince said.

"No, I'm not letting anyone take this away from me," Rafael said. "Would you let anyone tell you to stop enjoying it if Lady Claes… well, did something for you in general?"

"I suppose…" the Third Prince conceded. "I see you've taken to calling her Lady Claes."

"Yes, Maria was very… intensely insistent," Rafael said. Wonder of wonders, his smile actually got smaller, if only to make room for wistfulness. "How has she been, by the way?"

"She's convinced Katarina to spend all her free time at the student council room by bribing her with cookies," the Third Prince said. "As it turns out, Campbell makes excellent sweets, and uses them decisively. With Katarina there, Campbell can keep everyone working on paperwork for as long as she likes."

"That's... an absolutely horrifying idea," the Third Prince said, his face a combination of horror and admiration for the sort of twisted mind that would come up with such a notion.

"Wait, so if Maria was the Student Council Vice-president, I'd have cookies all the time?" Katarina said. "Oh, right, I already thought of this. Maria, can I have cookies if I only eat them in the student council room?"

Maria's smile became slightly thoughtful, even as everyone looked at her in dread. Alan was even shaking his head, mouthing 'don't do it, don't do it' behind Katarina's back.

"Why kind of cookies would you like, Lady Katarina?" Maria said with a tranquil smile.

Everyone else glared at her, already feeling the ache in their hands.

"Is that why you're not worried about being gone? Maria keeps everyone too busy to make a move on Lady Claes?" Rafael said.

"Yes," the Third Prince said, though the frown he wore said he'd rather be there. "Has… Campbell always been that… I want to say nurturing, but I'm not sure it fits. She's been making sure Katarina wears a hat when she's out working her field. Something about preventing sunstroke."

Everyone blinked and turned to stare at Katarina. Everyone tried to remember if, in all the years—or months, in Maria's case—they'd seen her farming. they had ever seen her wearing a hat.

Everyone remembered her having only some kind of cloth wrapped around her head.

Katarina stared at them guilelessly. "What is it?"

Everyone decided to get Katarina a hat as soon as possible.

They passed a doorway flanked by Royal Guards in their distinctive black armor, and into the Medicinal Magic wing. Most of the building was lecture halls, small laboratories, reference libraries and offices, but there was also a patient ward, used for people that could only be treated by the Ministry's advanced or experimental techniques, or by one of the rare Light Magic wielders employed by the ministry, a number that was now one less since it turned out one of them had been working with the Marchioness.

There was also a much smaller, secured patient ward reinforced for prisoners who need to be healed. This was where they were heading. Thankfully, the Marchioness possessed no magic, but just in case she had given herself Dark Magic among her crimes, they had her secured as such. Chained to the bed, no one allowed within touching distance, eyes blindfolded, hands secured inside metal mitts to prevent touching.

She was asleep when they entered, but despite this she was tossing and turning fitfully, her chains rattling from all the movement. Spots of blood on her bandages and the patient's robes she wore indicated where her wounds had reopened.

"We would have used Campbell's ingenious transfuser idea to keep her fed and watered without anyone having to get close to her," the Third prince said, "But as you can see, she's restless, so there goes that idea."

He turned towards Sirius, who was staring at the woman, smile gone. He frowned. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Who's made contact with her since she was found?" Rafael said, face slightly pale.

"Why? What is it?" the prince said.

"Because… because…" Rafael swallowed. "I can see dark smoke wafting from her body. I… I think she's been exposed to Dark Magic."

"Wait, how does he know that?" Keith said, confused. "Rafael has Wind Magic, doesn't he? Is it implying he still has Dark Magic?"

"Ooh, plot twist!" Sophia said.

The Third Prince rolled his eyes. "For you, maybe, but given how much this story seems to know, it means Alan and i have to go ask Rafael if he still secretly has Dark Magic he hasn't told us about, AND the implication that there's still a Dark Magic wielder on the loose!"

"Well, that's our afternoon gone," Alan grumbled.

"Eh? You're leaving now?" Katarina said, looking disappointed. "But the really cute and romantic part is—"

"Spoilers! Spoilers!"

"Sorry, Sophia!"

Maria ignored the suspicious look Lady Hunt was directing at her. Lady Hunt seemed to be suspicious of her constantly these days. Just because she happened to be correct that there was something to be suspicious about this time was no reason to let her know it.

Everyone not named Katarina nodded in agreement, then looked at Maria suspiciously since she'd been among them. She just smiled.

Fortunately, a hunter learned very quickly how to get blood out of their clothes. As pleasant as the experience of being covered in blood was, it stained very easily. Thankfully she knew enough alchemy to be able to produce the special detergent hunters used, allowing her to clean her clothes and get the smell of blood and, more importantly, offal off of her in time for this morning's classes. The detergent was merely one of several things she was trying to produce with alchemy, but it was for now the most useful. At least until she had enough money to commission a smith.

"That's disgusting," Maria commented.

"I know!" Mary agreed. "Something that easily gets blood out of clothes? Preposterous! This is the first truly outrageous claim this book has made."

Katarina blinked. "No, that was the book claiming I had a harem. it's a good number two, though."

Everyone avoided Katarina's gaze.

Still, the feeling of Lady Hunt's gaze boring into hers was getting a little annoying…

"Are you done with your paperwork, Lady Hunt?" she said, not looking up. "Then I suppose you can look over the candle order for the graduation party."

Without waiting for a reply, she slid the folder to the edge of her desk for the other girl to take. Maria ignored the way small wisps of dark smoke were wafting from her hand. The remnants of Dark Magic were lasting longer than they had in her tests, but she supposed the rather strong feelings she had about the formerly-Marchioness Dieke would account for that. How simple a matter it was to acquire Dark Magic, merely killing someone upon that strange sigil. Even a dead man was sufficient.

"Wait, what?" Sophia exclaimed.

"Plot twist!" Kataria cried cheerfully.

"Oh good, we don't have to look for another Dark Magic wielder on the loose," Alan sighed.

Everyone else turned to stare at Maria.

"I do not have Dark Magic," Maria said, looking slightly offended at the accusation. "Don't confuse the story and reality!"

"I'm afraid we're going to need more proof," the Third Prince said, sounding almost apologetic. "Could you come with us to the Ministry later when we speak to Rafael?"

Maria sighed. "I'm sorry, Lady Katarina. It seems I won't be able to bake cookies for you today."

Katarina gasped, falling to her knees off the couch spreading her arms in an anguished pose. "Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"

"Sister, stop being dramatic and get off the floor," Keith sighed.

"But… Maria cookies!" Katarina wailed Still, she dragged herself back on the couch, pouting in disappointment.

The school was filled with all sort of rumors about what had happened to the Marchioness. Some said bandits, others mentioned political enemies who had her hunted down, of secret uncaught allies of hers who had turned against her for fear of being revealed. Other, more outlandish rumors spoke of crow-men from the stars, or mushroom people from beneath the earth having taken her to their ash palaces floating on poison lakes for a hundred years of torture before spitting her back out.

Honestly, the things people would come up with. Mushroom people! Everyone knew all there was beneath the earth were Pthumerians, living corpses, giants, old beasts, evil spirits, giant tick-women, and dogs.

"…that all sounds very disturbing," Keith said

"By 'giant tick women', does she mean giant ticks that are female, or women who are somehow part giant tick?" Sophia asked thoughtfully.

"That's what you're wondering about?" Mary said incredulously.

"Look, if it's the latter, than it tells us more things about the writer of this book."

"Which is?" the Third Prince asked warily.

"They have very strange tastes in women."

"I think that's pretty obvious," Maria said.

"Ma– Miss Campbell, have you heard from Ra—er, Mister Walt lately?" Lady Claes suddenly said.

Maria looked up. Sure enough, she'd finished the cookies Maria had baked already. How is this girl's blood not thick as syrup? "No, Lady Claes, but I'm sure he's fine." Mainly because she sometimes snuck out and over to the Ministry building to make sure Rafael was still alive and well in the room they'd provided him there. They should really improve their security, it was unsafe that someone could climb up the outside to the third floor and peer into a window for however long they wanted. Especially on a full moon. None of the guards even looked up! It was disgraceful. "Have the princes said anything that would make you think otherwise?"

Everyone turned to stare at Maria.

"Don't make me say it again," Maria sighed. "I'm not the sort of crazed person who would climb walls like that!"

"…have the outside walls checked if they can be climbed…" the Third Prince wrote.

Maria quickly passed her glance over the other members of the student council. Lord Claes still had a pile of paperwork in front of him, Lady Ascart was making calculations with an abacus, and Lady Mary was muttering over the folder Maria had given her. Hmm, much work still to be done.

Maria opened the drawer of the President's Desk she had commandeered. She'd have to remember to make more tonight… "More cookies, Lady Claes?"

"Lady Katarina, there are no cookies in that desk," Maria said.

"Are we sure? Maybe we can check…"

"Sister, even if there were cookies there, don't just eat probably stale drawer cookies!"

Chapter Text

They checked the drawer. There were no cookies, stale or otherwise.

"Aw!" Katarina pouted.

"If you want, I could bake you some cookies later, Lady Katarina?" Maria offered with a tranquil smile.
"Yay! You're the best, Maria!"

"You know, looking back on it, Maria's smug a lot, isn't she?" Mary muttered.

Sophia nodded, but started reading aloud as Katarina settled down.

"You don't have to do this," the Third Prince said. "You don't have to go in there to talk to her."

"No, I want to," Rafael said seriously. "I have to."

"I'm sure we can find someone else," the prince insisted. "I heard there was someone here who was a master of disguise. We can find another way to learn if someone used Dark Magic to remove incriminating knowledge from her mind."

"No, it has to be me," Rafael said. "She'll only talk to her precious son Sirius. So she'll talk to me. I can pretend to be him one last time to find out what she knows, who might have escaped, what was done to her, how painful it was, if she wet herself through it, whether they used dull, jagged or hot knives…"

"Um…" the prince said nervously, giving him a weird look.

"…I have to do it. So that, at the end, when we've gotten everything out of her, I can reveal that not only did I help cause her fall, but also that her son's been dead this whole time, so I can watch the despair fill her as she realizes she's truly lost EVERYTHING…!" Rafael said dreamily. "At last, my vengeance will be complete!"

"... You know, we should spend more time with Rafael is he's as interesting in real life as he is in this book," the Third Prince said.

"With armed guards?" Alan asked.

"Oh, definitely."

The third prince took a small step back as Rafael began to laugh to himself.

"So!" Rafael said brightly. "Let's talk to her!"

The prince put a restraining hand on her shoulder. "First, we have to calm you down so you don't obviously look like you want her dead. Second… we need to make you look like you escaped from your cell to rescue her. And third… we need to get you to stop smiling like that, or its going to look really suspicious."

"It's nice to see Rafael so happy," Katarina said.

"Sister, don't confuse the book and reality," Keith said blandly.

".. oh, right. Thanks for reminding me Keith, i almost turned into some sort of delusional moral guardian who treats fictional people like they were real," Katarina said, looking disturbed. "You know, let's go see Rafael later, we should really check if he's happy!"

"All right, that's all the paperwork for the day," Maria announced. "Good job everyone. Lady Claes, I hoped you enjoyed today's sweets. I will be sure to bring more for you tomorrow."

"Yay! I can't wait!" Lady Claes cheered. She flashed Maria a wide, hungry smile full of desire. "Miss Campbell's sweets are the best!"

Once upon a time, Maria would have assumed that was some sort of unknowingly-incestuous sexual innuendo promising a future conquest. Now that she had eyes to see, however, she could recognize it as simply Lady Claes being a bottomless pit with a child-like lack of restraint or decorum.

Everyone coughed and looked away.

She smiled and set about trying to correct that. Honestly, how spoiled was this girl? "Lady Claes, please control yourself. You just had sweets. Now, why don't you go off to Miss Shelley so you can wash up for dinner?"

"Ooh, dinner!" Lady Claes said, collecting her things and getting up. "I wonder what the dining hall has? See you there, everyone!"

At that she skipped of merrily out the door.

"Don't skip, you might trip and hurt yourself!" Maria called after her, and was rewarded with the sound of childish running. Well, certainly safer than skipping in skirts, but not by much. "How energetic."

"Big sis… you promised to never leave me…" Lord Claes sobbed.

"Lady Katarina… wait…" Lady Ascart sobbed, cradling her hand. "Hurts… so much…"

Lord Ascart patted her awkwardly. Sometime in the past three days he'd somehow learned how to write ambidextrously, possibly from the Third Prince, and now both of his hands were in pain and twitched, so he sort of had to flop one on his sister's head and bounce it up and down with his elbow.

"Damn those useless pretty princes for abandoning us to this paperwork!" Lady Hunt raged weakly, cradling her own hand.

"Alan stop laughing, it's not funny," the Third Prince said.

"Stop smiling and I will."

"I can't help it. Just the thought not not being around to do the amount of paperwork it was implied they just did..."

"You two are terrible, finding joy in our suffering like this!" Sophia cried.

"Sophia, don't confuse the book and reality," the Third Prince said cheerfully.

"It can't be helped," Maria said as she began using her Light Magic on herself, the eldritch light shining from her overcoming the abyssal darkness she was still leaking slightly. "They are conducting an important investigation crucial to the security of the realm, and must do so with timeliness to see justice is done."

"You mean they're getting Rafael's revenge for him," Lady Hunt huffed.

"An important investigation crucial to the security of the realm," Maria said, most definitely not smiling.

"You might not be smiling, but the blush sort of gives it away," Lady Hunt said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Maria said.

"You're a lousy liar, Campbell," Lady Hunt deadpanned.

Preposterous. She was excellent at deception! She learned at the Healing Church.

"Well, that's not ominous at all," Mary said sarcastically over Sophia and Katarina squealing loudly.

"Probably foreshadowing for something," Alan said.

"If you would be so kind, I could use some assistance, Miss Campbell?" Lord Ascart said. "I would like to regain use of my hands?"

"Of course, Lord Ascart," Maria said. "You need only have asked…"

---

Rafael stepped out of the Marchioness' prison, the door blocking off the howls of despair and curses, a wide smile on his face.

"I'd say you're enjoying this far too much…" the Third Prince said, "but who am I to judge a man for his life's work? Though did you have to twist the knife in at the– never mind, silly question."

"Thank you for your understanding, your highness," Rafael said.

"The sound was a bit muffled because of the whispering," the prince said as they began to walk away from the secured ward. "Could you summarize?"

Rafael nodded. "She was headed here in a misguided attempt to rescue me," he said, a dark and terrible smile on his face at those words, "But someone ambushed her party in the woods last night. Though she remembers it happened, she can't provide a description, even though from what she said, they must have gotten very close. I think Dark Magic was used to alter her memories of the assailants in question, or at least obfuscate it. She claims there was only one person, but given the violence of the ambush she described, that seems unlikely. Nothing else seems to be altered, though we'd have to check to be sure. If someone scrubbed a specific name from her memory, we'll have to interview all the prisoners to find out."

"So there's another Dark Magic wielder out there," the prince mused. "One out on the wind. And with a group, at that. That's… concerning. For all their research, we have no indication they made another wielder recently, or in the intervening years. We'll have to widen our search. It's not like they're going to make this easy for us by announcing themselves."

Rafael could only agree.

He still couldn't help the smile that started to grow on his face again as he recalled THAT WOMAN's face contorting into betrayal and grief…

"Not sure how I feel about this," Sophia said. "On the one hand, we didn't get to see a highly charged and emotional scene... on the other hand, they managed to just summarize everything so we didn't need to be told things we already knew..."

"Probably for the best," ALan said. "This work doesn't really do heavy emotions. Putting in such a scene would have ruined the momentum of the humor they were establishing."

Maria was just locking up the Student Council office, normally the duty of the superfluous president, when she saw Prince Alan coming down the halls. She turned and bowed. "Good afternoon, Prince Alan," she said. "I hope the investigation fairs well?"

"Hey, Campbell," he greeted. "Getting there. We searched the grounds, found a dead horse that was probably the horse the Marchioness was riding and… well, we found where she was probably attacked. I'd say she was fortunate, but given the state we found her, I don't think that was it. Just got back from my rooms to bathe and get the smell off, then I have to get back to the ministry to tell my brother. Anything happen while I was gone?"

"We have received the estimates for the saltpeter candles for the graduation," Maria reported. "They are within budget. We have prepared the final order, which will be pushed through tomorrow."

"...fine, we'll see about commissioning candles with saltpeter-infused wicks," the Third Prince said at Alan's insistent stare. "But only if they burn as described."

"That's all I ask."

"Huh, that's great!" Prince Alan grinned. "Those purple candles are going to be something to see. Anything else? I really have to go, we have to see what that woman knows while it's still fresh."

"Your highness, there is also a personal matter I would like to speak to you about if you have a free moment," Maria said.

Prince Alan frowned. "Is it urgent?"

"That is part of the reason I wished to speak to you, your highness," Maria said. "As I am commoner, I do not know enough to understand what my betters would consider 'urgent'."

Prince Alan grunted. "Well, all right, I still have some time, if you make it quick," he said. "What is it?"

"I believe I have somehow acquired Dark Magic due to recent events, possibly because I destroyed that dark spirit while on that sigil meant to bestow Dark Magic in exchange for a sacrifice of death," Maria said. "I am unsure if this is an urgent matter, so I defer to your judgement."

Prince Alan blinked at her. Stared. "Sorry, what?" he demanded.

See, Lady Hunt? She was excellent at deception!

"Oh, it wasn't foreshadowing, it was another gag," Alan commented.

"Does that mean she's going to get arrested and will never be seen again, and the rest of the book will go on without her?" Maria said hopefully.

"No?" Katarina said, confused. "Of course not. It's her name on the title, of course she's not going to just vanish at the start of the book."

Maria sighed forlornly.

"Wow," Sophia said. "She just goes and says it straight and everything. Not even bothering to hide, just tells Alan she has Dark Magic. That's..."

"Straightforward?" Keith suggested.

"Revolutionary!" Sophia declared. "I've never read a story that did this! The heroine just being honest and getting rid of her secrets as soon as possible instead of keeping them hidden and giving characters around her reason to start digging into her business? I didn't think you could even write a story like that! This is genre-changing!"

"Sounds like a boring book," Mary said. "Definitely very unrealistic. What kind of person just tells the truth all the time, is completely honest in all their dealings, and doesn't end up taken advantage of by everyone they meet?"

"Lady Katarina?" Maria said innocently.

"Huh? What was that?" Katarina said, looking around at her name being called.

"... you're a smartass, Campbell," Mary said.

Maria just smiled tranquilly.

"Oh, wipe that smug look off your face."