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The first time König met Horangi, when he was one of a few dozen rookies assigned to work under a guy whose face was hidden behind a layer of mask and sunglasses, he didn’t like Horangi at all. He felt this distaste towards the man so easily laughing and smiling at them, welcoming them with open arms and so much camaraderie he could practically suffocate from the desire to puke at it. Military was no place for jokes and giggles, not to mention his puns were horrible. Yet everyone, like the innocent little men that they were, was drawn to him no different from dogs to bones. They held onto the offered hand like a lifesaver, and in return Horangi took care of them all with no favouritism nor exceptions.
When it first happened, König was shocked to say the least, to see the well respected Lieutenant stand on his tiptoes just to give him a head pat because he performed well during physical training. He thought Horangi would be intimidated by his height and size, but the other treated him just like every other newbie, like an overgrown puppy.
“Good job,” Horangi said with a chuckle before returning to a report he had in his hands.
“Excuse me,” König reached out to take hold of the other’s arm before Horangi could go check on the other recruits. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“What you did just now, what was that?”
“You mean a head pat?” Horangi looked up at him with head tilted slightly to the side, confused as to why he was asking. “Well, yeah. You did well so I-”
“Do you think I’m a puppy or something? Just a dog wagging its tail at the shoe soles of its master?”
There was… a long silent pause after he said that, the newbies were all looking at him baffled at what he just said to their superior. Horangi remained irritably calm, he straightened his head at König, the cheerful aura he always had to him disappeared then. Now that was what König wanted to see, a serious man in a serious business. He crouched down to the same eye level as that of Horangi, their faces only a scant centimetres from each other.
“Is there something wrong?” Horangi asked, voice unwavering and flat.
“I don’t like the way you treat us,” König replied. “We’re not dogs just waiting for your approval.”
“If you don’t like head pats you could have just said so,” he answered with a chuff, as if König was but a mischievous child in his rebellious stages.
That was how Horangi decided things were settled, he just viewed König as a disobedient child and moved on intending to check on the other rookies. Now that he looked back at it, he knew Horangi was just doing his best so König wouldn’t be caught in trouble, but the König at the time didn’t think things through, he didn’t think anything through when he tackled Horangi to the practice mat like that. He thought that maybe, just maybe, with him intimidating the other like so, Horangi would finally show a few signs of hesitation and fear. Horangi was, by no means, short, but anyone would be pale in size next to him.
“Little one please get off of me, I need to do check ups on the other rookies as well,” Horangi only said that to him with a sigh, not even a little shiver.
“Let's spar right now, you and me. Are you up for it, Lieutenant ?”
“See if you’re worthy of being my superior.” The part was left unsaid but both of them could deduct it. Yet Horangi remained unresponsive to his request for a while, it was hard to tell what kind of expression the other was having under the mask and sunglasses. Finally, König could hear a faint defeated sigh coming from Horangi. He thought he won the bargain, but Horangi’s next words weren’t to his expectations.
“Fine fine,” Horangi’s hand waved around as he made a surrender pose under him. “You’re the best, everyone will look up to the big strong man. Let me go please?”
It wasn’t an affront, he knew that, Horangi was just done with his bullshit and wanted all of this to go by as quickly as possible so he could resume his work. Surely, König wasn’t the first private that challenged his authority, and without a doubt he wouldn’t be the last one either. They remained like so for a few more seconds before König finally got off Horangi, the other unceremoniously rose to his feet soon after. Maybe it was his imagination, but for a split second there he could see Horangi’s eyes curving up as if… smiling under the sunglasses when he turned his head sideways. It wasn’t until later on in their relationship did he learn all the things he saw were only what Horangi wanted him to see.
“Thank you,” Horangi said softly, hands dusting off his clothes.
“...” König didn’t reply for a while.
Horangi thought that was the end of it, he assumed all it took for the rookie to let things go was for him to give up first. In his many years as a Lieutenant, he quickly learned it was best to appease the hot headed newbies who wanted to prove themselves above all else. A few praises and step backs could go a long way, nothing he couldn’t manage. Or so he thought.
“!!!”
Well, not that he didn’t foresee this turn of event. Of course König still having the desire to fight in him was a possibility he considered, and it wasn’t one he couldn’t deal with. König thought he could sneak a punch the other’s way, showing him the consequences of disrespecting a man twice his size, but just a swift tilt of his head was all it took for Horangi to be able to dodge his attack. Everything after that happened too fast for him to comprehend. König didn’t have time to blink before a hand held an iron grip on his wrist pulling him forward and Horangi’s fingertips nudging gently at the front of his neck. He expected a hook directly up his chin, instead Horangi only pinched his Adam's apple teasingly before letting go. For a split second, König was breathless.
He realised he couldn’t win against this man.
“That was dangerous,” Horangi said calmly before letting go, “someone could have seriously been hurt like that.”
König stood still as the other adjusted his wrinkly uniform like a parent preparing their child for his first day at school in front of everyone’s baffled eyes. None of them could foresee the consequences of disrespecting a direct superior would be… a pat on the back. They knew Horangi was a lenient man whose indulgence for the newbies was a little too much, but they didn’t expect that generosity to be this big.
“There, all better.” Horangi looked proud at the result of König’s now a bit more polished uniform. He gave the other a thumbs up as an encouragement before swiftly turning around to tend to other recruits, ignoring König as the other stood there like a post. The rage was slow to catch up to him, but as soon as it did he stormed over to follow Horangi, not caring if he shoved someone out of his way. He hated the way the other's eye curved up like crescent moons under his sunglasses when talking to other rookies like that.
As soon as he reached his hand out to Horangi he saw the other duck down, his body bent in half as his heels flew up and kicked directly on his bicep out in the open. A sudden sore burst on his arm from the contact, it felt like his limb was broken in half just now, and all it took was one kick. Horangi swiftly backed away and stood low on his feet as he looked up at the man who just attempted to attack him.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Horangi hurried over to him, taking the other’s injured arm in his hold to examine the wound. He gave it gentle blows, the cool air caressing around his already bruised up arm. “You really have to be more careful walking up behind people like that.”
“Let go!” König shouted as he retrieved his limb from Horangi’s hold, it was still shaking lightly from the sore. “Don’t fuck with me!”
“Excuse me? I’m sorry I’m not quite sure I understand-”
His words were cut short when König made another attempt to engage in combat again, this time König really had Horangi’s full attention. He could recognise the way the Lieutenant changed his stance, knee bent low and arms coming forward ready to counter his attacks. Before König could continue though, he heard Horangi speaking up.
“You sure you wanna do this? Are you absolutely sure?”
“Tch!”
“I will FUCKING WRECK YOU!!!” König screamed silently on the inside but only replied to the other with an annoyed click of his tongue.
There was something about the way Horangi carried himself, his hands opened and relaxed akin to an invite despite staying still, yet his feet planting on the ground were steady and unmoving. He moved with the elegance of a man who had never been in a hurry a day in his life. Unlike Horangi, König put his knowledge of boxing to good use, feet constantly on the move and arm held tight to his torso for defence.
König was the first one to make a move, Horangi didn’t counter the attack as he expected, merely leaning to the side avoiding his fist and repositioning himself quickly again. A hint of confusion glinted in his blue irises, he thought if the other wouldn't counter the hit at least he would have blocked it, instead it was just a quick dodge. He didn’t have time to think, more punches quickly rained down on Horangi, swinging from the side before passing in front of Horangi’s eyes. The man himself remained out of his reach still, feet moving swiftly as if aloft in the air. Was he… running?
No.
It couldn’t be. His moves too calculated to be a sign of cowardice. No… He was… studying König.
Something changed then, the way he stood, the way his arms no longer hovering softly, the way he lowered his head. As soon as the next punch was thrown, König understood why. His attack was blocked by the other’s elbow, he could practically hear his knuckles cracking upon contact. König quickly tried to reposition as soon as possible and threw another punch which was pushed to the side as a fist collided against his cheeks almost as if at the same time. He retaliated with a hook coming from below aiming for the other’s chin. That wasn’t the worst move, but wasn’t the best one either. His side was left out in the open for Horangi to deliver a fist directly to his ribs. No. It wasn’t a punch. It was a nudge! König stumbled backwards a little while looking down at his torso, shirt barely wrinkled at the other’s attack.
“That was intense,” Horangi said with tilted head.
“...!” He wasn’t met with a proper response, König only grunted lowly in return before resuming his stance.
Okay, so maybe attacking first wasn’t a wise choice, König figured. He decided to loom around waiting for the other to make a first move this time. Horangi was quick to realise his intention, but instead of diving headfirst he leaned to the side and delivered a mean kick to his knee, it wasn’t enough to bring him down but it was enough for his stance to waver. König quickly retaliated with some hooks but none of them landed, swiftly redirected by Horangi’s palms as he lowered himself, his fist drilling in the other’s abdomen.
To König’s surprise, when he reached down to grab Horangi the other stooped lower again, he hugged König’s calf and quickly rolled over on his back. König was forced out of balance, when he looked down what greeted him was the other’s shoe sole as Horangi delivered a full blown kick directly up his chin. The force was enough to send him flying backwards landing on his ass.
“Ugh…”
Soon König felt something hot and sticky streaming from his nostrils, the taste akin to copper and was tangy on the tip of his tongue. He quickly resumed on his feet, hand lifting up the sniper hood to spit out the blood in his mouth. Saying König was pissed would be an understatement, he charged at Horangi like a mad man, not caring where his fist could land. Evidently that was a mistake, when his attacks began to grow sloppy that was when Horangi started to aim for the other’s bicep. Horangi’s fists had no mercy grinding down on his upper arm. The sore was imbarable at one point, even his defence was getting worn down when confronted with numerous punches from the other. It was at the moment he least expected that a hand reached below his arms and a fist surged up right under his chin again. Horangi was even generous enough to gift him another kick to his chest. König started to feel a little lightheaded, he barked out a curse in German out of frustration.
“Language!” Horangi gasped.
For the first time since this match, the Lieutenant seemed to lose his calm. Horangi lowered himself then, feet far apart and steady as his hands balled into fist. When König surged forward with an axe kick, Horangi did the unthinkable and bent down as he grabbed his thigh, using the way his body was held unsteadily on one pillar and pushed him back. He hooked a leg on König’s other knee, completely shattering his balance bringing him down again. But the moment Horangi’s fist flew toward him was when König finally got a hold of the other.
“Gotcha!”
König locked Horangi with his arms caging around the other’s waist, he thought he finally had the upper hand until Horangi readjusted his posture and jumped up in his hold. A bit of manoeuvring and Horangi spinned them both to the ground without losing his position on top, König's hands came up wanting to shield himself from attacks but he was quickly disarmed. His hand held above his head in Horangi’s hold, a knee pressing directly on his windpipe.
The result was clear.
“Yield?” Horangi asked, breathes a bit uneven and fast.
“Y-Yield…” König coughed out in surrender as Horangi slowly retreated.
The privates whispered something around them, their little talk started to make König feel uncomfortable. A hand extended towards him, the same hand that gave him a fair knockout just a few seconds ago. If König were any weaker, surely he would have tapped out since the first half of the match.
“Good match,” Horangi complimented as he pulled the other to his feet, “you utilised boxing very well just now. I must say I’m impressed, soldier. Everyone you have a lot to learn from him as well. As for now please return to your stations, you’re all crowding up the place.”
“Yes sir!” He heard the other rookies say before dismissing the gathering.
König was no unreasonable man, he could accept when he was defeated, what he didn’t expect was Horangi ordering him to follow the other to the medbay. In the empty infirmary, Horangi took out a bottle of disinfecting alcohol, some bandages and a few muscle relief patches.
“Would you like me to take a look at your injuries?” Horangi asked.
A few seconds of silence passed, König shook his head lightly in reply and was given the med kits. Horangi sat not too far from him, not a word spoken between them as König took a look at the casualties. Pale skin easily bruised up from Horangi’s attacks on his torso and biceps. He must admit Horangi encountering his punches with the elbow was nothing short of genius. Curiosity started to get the best of him.
“Where did you learn to fight like that?”
“...” Horangi didn’t say anything for a while, his hand relaxing and balling into fists constantly on his lap. König was about to let the subject go before he finally got an answer. “Taekwondo. And my fiancé used to be a wingchun master, so he taught me wingchun as well before we… well, before I had run away.”
“Oh…”
There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between the two, the only sound that could be heard was König shuffling with his bandages. Horangi spoke up first this time.
“And you?”
“Huh?” König looked up at Horangi in confusion.
“Where did you learn how to fight like that? You don’t fight like an amateur.”
“Oh… I… um…”
König clearly didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it, so Horangi raised his hands as a gesture of surrender.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it if it’s uncomfortable for you. I don’t mind. Just… trying to make a conversation, y’know. Sorry if-”
“I was-” König tried really hard for those two syllables to come out not as stutters. “Fighting ring. Illegal fighting ring. I was in there when-… since before highschool. I was bullied and I… I wanted to relieve some steam.”
“Oh…” Horangi turned away then, not knowing what to say. “I’m so sorry.”
“No it’s-... it’s all in the past now. I don’t really… look back at that anymore.”
“Well, you’re here now. I won’t let anything bad happen to you, yeah? By Lieutenant’s honour.”
Horangi made an oath with his left hand raised, but after a while he felt like something was wrong so he lowered his left arm and raised the right one instead. That got a small chuckle out of König.
“Sorry, I’m not very familiar with western cultures. Do you raise your left hand or your right hand in moments like this?”
“It’s alright. And you raise your right hand I think.”
There was something so… endearing about the way a superior half his size was swearing to protect him, and it wasn’t just the fact that he could, König had experienced his capabilities first hand, it was the way Horangi wanted to care for… him. Him. König was no small man, no weak man either, his arrogance proved to be his downfall this time, but there was a reason he was so smug about himself. He was used to being strong, therefore he was no stranger to never be considered or cared for by anyone. They all assumed a big man could protect for himself, no need to prioritise his well being above anyone else’s, and he understood that. He had no complaints about it, but sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be cared for, to have someone looking after him.
Now he knew. And it was… it was nice…
“Thank you,” König said.
“For what?”
“For saying you want to keep me safe.”
“Well of course. That’s why I’m here, yeah? If it’s too much for you just leave it to your Lieutenant.”
As if to further prove his point, Horangi playfully flexed in front of him like the bodybuilders he always saw on television as a kid. His Lieutenant wasn’t muscular like those people, he was quite lean and frankly a lot taller than the average, although everyone would look short next to König. For some reason, König felt like he could trust this man, Horangi might be someone König could rely on, and it wasn’t just because the other was a Lieutenant.
“I’m König,” he offered out his hand for Horangi to shake. “I’ll be in your care then.”
“Nice to meet you, König,” Horangi took the welcoming gesture with ease. König could feel more than see the other smiling under his mask and sunglasses.
---
As time went by, König discovered Horangi wasn’t a man with any interest in climbing the ranks. He helped and guided everyone under his wings, but while some continued to move upwards missions after missions, König included, Horangi had stayed the same throughout the years. König was the first in his squad to receive an early promotion for the rank of sergeant, and he had been the only one willingly stayed by Horangi’s side after everyone left. Horangi held no resentment towards those who chose to go, he simply carried on his duties with every batch of newbies, but now with König by his side. Their titles were usually mistaken with one another, the privates had no prior knowledge and always assumed Horangi was the one with lower rank. König didn’t like it, he deemed it akin to disrespect despite Horangi having never been begrudging about it.
“They’re young, they don’t know any better yet,” Horangi said, eyes observing the rookies doing training in pairs.
“You’re too easy on them sometimes y’know.”
“I know. But they’re good kids. Unlike you.”
An elbow nudged softly at his side, and König wanted so much to sulk to the other, to make excuses that he was also ignorant but Horangi didn’t cut him any slack at the time. Compared to when he first showed up at the barracks, he and Horangi had gotten along and got to know each other a lot more now. He knew the person who taught him wingchun was a man named Wong Zhiqiang. They were childhood friends and were supposed to get married until Horangi was tricked into gambling debt by none other than Zhiqiang’s parents and had to flee the country for safety. Horangi didn’t say it, but he could tell the other waited for his fiancé to come and save him only for the man to never show. Still, when he shared that piece of his life with König, there was not a sliver of resentment in his voice. He didn’t blame Zhiqiang for not coming, he only reprimanded himself for having his hopes up, and for putting himself in that situation in the first place.
König was boiling with anger when he first heard the story, he wanted so much to give the people who hurted Horangi a beating or two. He thought Horangi didn’t deserve an ounce of what happened to him, he should have lived a normal happy life with his family, with his loved ones. Instead he was turned into an outcast, rejected by his own home country just because some people couldn’t look past their prejudice.
It was then that König realised maybe his feelings for Horangi weren't as simple as something a subordinate should have for his superior. He liked the way he could imagine Horangi’s eyes curving up like crescent moons under his sunglasses whenever he smiled, or how he always walked alongside König with a practised ease. Just the thought of being complimented by Horangi after a successful mission could have him giddy all day. Maybe he really was enamoured by his Lieutenant, but he didn’t repudiate the idea. The upheaval had come quite suddenly to him one night when he woke up half hard from an indecent dream with Horangi in it.
"Fuck!"
König let out a frustrated curse before changing his clothes and tossing out the cum stained underwear. If there had ever been any denying of his feelings, there was no way to back out of it now. For some reason, König found it easy to welcome the infatuation, he had no trouble recognising that he, in fact, liked Horangi as more than a friend. Despite the clarity of it, König spent the rest of the night unable to go back to sleep, mind keep wandering back to the dream he had, to the man he liked.
A knock on the door startled him, it wasn't until then did he realise it was already time for his usual morning jog with Horangi. His voice echoed through the wooden frame.
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty~"
"Yep yep I'm up I’m up," his reply came before he walked over to open the door. While he took another cold shower that day, Horangi sat outside waiting for his jogging partner like he usually did. König should have felt weirded out by the other’s presence after what happened last night, instead he felt a calming catharsis upon seeing the way Horangi lit up when he spotted König in his sportswear.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
They ran together side by side, Horangi had no issues keeping up with his pace, in fact he was quite certain Horangi could run faster and longer, he just didn’t want to leave König behind. At the gym though, König was the one better at doing the heavy lifting, his Lieutenant wasn’t as enthusiastic about arm exercises as him. He was always amazed seeing Horangi demonstrate his leg power on the sandbag being one of few who could send the thing flying with his kicks, but he had to be dragged over to the dumbbell section of the gym every time.
“I don’t wanna…”
“Horangi you can’t just kick your opponents in the head all the time.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Tch! Horangi. Horangi?”
Before he knew it, the other already sneaked away to take a shower, König could only sigh in defeat before continuing his exercise. What he didn’t expect though, was Horangi still standing outside the gym waiting for him when he walked out. They strolled silently side by side to the mess hall and ate in comfortable silence, until König spoke up first.
“Horangi, I like you.”
“I like you too.”
When König decided he wouldn’t hide his feelings, he didn’t expect Horangi to reply so easily like that. Maybe he worded it wrong?
“I’m serious. I like you.”
“And I like you as well.”
König could tell he was being playful with the way his head was a little tilted to the side and the corner of his lips curving up just slightly. Sometimes it was hard to tell if he was smiling or not like that. Horangi rested his cheeks on his palm propped up on the table.
“It’s easy to mistake admiration as infatuation, König. You’re still young, you have time, you’ll grow out of it I’m sure.”
“... Is that a challenge?” König mimicked Horangi’s tone.
“Just eat.” Horangi laughed as he flicked his forehead teasingly.
Unlike what he had thought, Horangi acknowledged his feelings without avoiding him. They remained the same after that, König occasionally pestered him with his infatuation, and Horangi always replied “I like you too”. After a while he started to reconsider things, he thought about what Horangi had said.
“You’re still young, you have time, you’ll grow out of it I’m sure.”
No. It wasn’t because he was still young. Of all the things König had ever doubted about in his life it was this feeling for Horangi that was the one he had absolute faith in. Maybe Horangi was right, maybe he might grow out of it, only time could tell, but for now König was certain about his affection for this man. In the meantime, there was a determination burning in his heart, he refused to stay being Horangi’s subordinate, he had things he could only accomplish with higher ranks.
---
“Horangi, I like you.”
“Y’know, when you ask me to come over so we can celebrate your promotion to Lieutenant, this is not what I expect to hear first thing showing up.”
“... Sorry.”
Horangi was standing outside his door, wine and a few bags of snacks in hand, his eyes above the mask looking like a soft smile still, a big brother all too familiar with the pranks of his little ones. He slipped in the room between König’s frame and the door, the bottle of alcohol placed on the ground as he looked for two cups. König didn’t make a big deal out of it, he was used to Horangi always dismissing his confessions. Not that they came in a small amount, he had said that to Horangi almost everyday for the past years, be it directly or via other communicative devices available.
“Sit.”
He heard Horangi say while patting the empty space next to him near the bed, the little “congratulation party” neatly arranged for him. The official promotion was already held yesterday, tonight was only an excuse for him and Horangi to sit together and enjoy each other’s company.
“Congratulations on becoming a Lieutenant, König,” Horangi said as he poured the wine for them both. “You're rising the ranks really fast. To think a few years ago you were just a private under my care, and now we’re already on equal grounds.”
“Yeah and got my butt kicked cuz I was stupid.”
“In my defence I did try very hard to go easy on you. It’s quite challenging to assess how much damage you can take, y'know.”
They laughed fondly at the memories while giving each other a toast. Horangi’s presence was alway so calming, there was no need to talk about things he didn’t want to talk about, and the silence was always welcomed and comfortable. The wine was starting to get to Horangi, he had never been one really good with alcohol like König. There were several benefits to growing up in Austria, and one of which was that his tolerance for beer and liquor was a lot higher than an average person. Horangi wasn’t drunk yet, but he was a little tipsy when he leaned on König.
“König.”
“Yeah.”
“I like you too.”
The syllables rang loud and clear to his ears, he was breathless for a few seconds, just like that time when he challenged Horangi and received a pinch to his Adam’s apple. Suddenly the cup of wine in front of him started to blur, König felt heat rising in his chest upon hearing the reciprocation he never thought would come. Even if… Horangi didn’t say it completely sober.
“You’re drunk Horangi.”
“I thought you’d be happy to hear that. After all, you’ve been terrorising me with your confessions all these years,” Horangi chuckled as he placed the still half full cup down.
“I do, but I don’t want it to be something you’ll regret saying in the morning.”
“Haven’t I always said I like you as well?”
“That’s different.”
Horangi sat up then, obsidian eyes that looked like the darkest pieces of a starry night sky cut down by the gods themselves, each with a cosmos of their own. König couldn’t help but look down at his cup then, for some reason hesitant to fall into the depth of those eyes that he had always loved so dearly.
“What’s different?”
“Huh?”
“What’s different this time?” Horangi repeated. “Because you think I’m too drunk to coherently reciprocate your feelings right now? Both you and I know that’s just an excuse.”
Oh how König wished he still had that stupid shirt on his face right now, it was so much easier to avoid looking Horangi in the eye. He could never tell if he would be drowned in those obsidians or bewitched by them.
“Cuz it feels too good to be true right now,” he smiled, hand rubbing his nape in embarrassment. “What if I have my hopes up only for you to say you weren’t serious in the morning? What if-... What if…”
There was no other what if, because that was the only thing he was afraid of, rejection and denial from the man he loved. He had never had to face those things before, and it was terrifying to him, more than the bullets and knives in warzones, more than being cut open in the medbay.
“König.”
“...”
“You… do like me, don’t you?”
König didn’t know what kind of expression he had on his face at the time, but surely if he could see it for himself he would go get the stupid t-shirt and put it over his head immediately.
“I do. I like you a lot. I love you.”
The confession fell easily on the tip of his tongue, just like the hundreds and thousands of times he had said it before. Horangi smiled at him then, eyes curving up into crescent moons the way he always adored. There was never any denying the power Horangi had over him.
“Then it’s enough,” Horangi said. “It’s enough.”
Horangi leaned back on his shoulder then, eyes closed as he relaxed next to König. From this distance, he could see every single eyelash adorning the other’s face, they were long and soft against his cheeks. An unknown bravery came over him.
“Can I kiss you?”
Not until after he asked the question did he realise how bold that was. There were two hammers bashing in his head at the same time as soon as he blurted it out loud, one berating him for being too straightforward and one screaming at him “TOO SOON!!!” . Either way he immediately avoided looking Horangi in the eye then. Did he cross a boundary he couldn’t just now? Would it be wise to excuse himself saying he was drunk? Everything started to twirl like a tangled web in his head.
He didn’t expect to see Horangi crowding in his personal space then, face leaning closer and closer to his. Horangi’s palm was warm and quivered slightly against his cheeks, as if shy, as if uncertain, but it didn’t retreat away. When he looked up he saw the hesitation in Horangi’s eyes, but not one of rejection, more like one of waiting for him to make the first move. And so he did. König closed his arms around the other’s waist as he lowered them both to the ground, it wasn’t ideal, not even the cleanest place, and the bed was right next to them, but he couldn’t care less. Calloused fingers found Horangi’s lips easily, so soft under his touch.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked again.
“...Y-you can kiss me,” Horangi stuttered out a response. “If you would have me.”
When their lips touched, finally, König felt like he had a piece of heaven on the tip of his tongue. It sounded so cheesy but König never really had the capacity to word it better, he was just too engulfed in whatever given to him to think of anything coherent. Horangi kissed like the way he carried himself, gentle and careful. They weren’t really kisses but more tantamount to little pecks planted delicately on his lips, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He could almost taste a bit of the wine they drank together prior to this, a little sweet, a little tangy. His hand trailed down on the scars on Horangi’s face, they were rough against his fingertips, but he loved them all. All the imperfections that made Horangi who he was, the man he loved.
None of them really wanted to part, but Horangi was the first one to get light headed and backed away. König continued to kiss the corner of his eyes then everywhere else on his face, refusing to let go. Horangi chuckled softly at his stubbornness but he couldn’t care less. When he finally had enough, they rested their forehead against one another, just basking in each other’s presence and the warmth of their breath.
“Horangi.”
“Mm?” he hummed in return, eyes still closed.
“I promise I won’t let you go like that Zeekang guy.”
“Ha!” Horangi bursted out laughing at the way König pronounced the Chinese name, he knew it wasn’t a malicious attempt König just didn’t really know how to say it. “You’re an idiot.”
König raised his head suddenly then, eyes filled with questions about what he did wrong, what he said wrong, but Horangi simply smiled and pulled him in his embrace again, a kiss planted softly on his forehead. If he could be suffocated like this that would be nice, he wouldn’t mind death if he could greet it in the arms of the man he loved.
“But my idiot now,” Horangi added. König could feel the other’s soft giggle against his skin, so indulgent.
“Horangi! I love you! I love you so much!!”
Overjoyed, König buried himself in Horangi’s hold, refusing to let him go.
“Yeah I know. Me too,” Horangi said, his hand carded through König’s auburn hair, carefully rubbing on his scalp.
They forgot about the wine and snacks Horangi brought over then, spending the night in each other’s arms, whispering their love to one another. König woke up the next morning with Horangi’s head laying heavily on his bicep, the sore started to catch up to him, but he simply pulled the other closer to him. Horangi smelled of… freshly harvested tea leaves still adorned with morning dewdrops. He shoved his face in Horangi’s nape, inhaling deeply before kissing tenderly.
König felt like he could die happily like this knowing the man he pined for so long returned his feelings like so. He started to wonder if this was reality, if this was but a hallucination and the alarm clock would wake him up any minute now. And so he pinched himself really hard on the cheeks, just to make sure. His cheeks reddened and grew sore to his forceful pulling, and he had never been happier at the sting. Horangi shifted in his arms then, turning back to face him. He could see clearly the way those eyelashes fluttered lightly before finally opening. The obsidian eyes each with a galaxy of their own that he adored so much greeted him, adoration blooming in them that made him a little flustered thinking it was him Horangi was looking at.
“Good morning,” Horangi whispered, voice still a little rough with sleep.
“Can I kiss you?” König asked, a little bolder this time.
“!” Horangi turned away as he laughed at the sudden but endearing request. “We kissed all night yesterday. And I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
“I don’t care. Give me a kiss-” König stopped abruptly then, a few trains of thought running through his head before he spoke up again. “Please give me a kiss.”
Horangi placed a finger on his lips then, shushing him, then kissed the digit placed between their lips as if a deposit for what would come later. A mischievous smile blooming on the corner of his mouth.
“After obligatory morning routines, yeah?”
“Is that a promise?”
“Trust your Lieutenant.”
“We’re both Lieutenants now.”
König watched as Horangi’s eyes softened at him, he ruffled his already messy auburn hair before pulling him out of bed and guiding them to the bathroom. Never in his life did König feel more grateful for always having a spare toothbrush in his corner so he wouldn’t have to run out to buy another if the old one snapped suddenly. His weird habits paid off sometimes. And it was so nice having someone’s shoulder to lean on in the morning, Horangi felt so warm and firm against his chest.
---
Horangi looked up at the bar’s sign flashing above his head, he let out a heavy sigh before entering. A bar wasn’t his scene, in fact, it wasn’t König’s scene either, but there he was, wedging himself between sea upon sea of people to make it to the bartender.
“Hi, I’m here to pick up a package?”
“Yeah yeah, your captain’s over there,” the bartender replied, hands still cleaning the glasses in his hand as he gestured to the slob of a man lounging in the corner, various drinks scattered all over the table.
Soft hiccups followed by a few curses in German could be heard as Horangi walked closer, he sat next to König then, a hand coming up running down König’s back wanting to sooth his lover. König immediately shot up upon being touched, his wrist was held on tightly in the other’s hold as he tried his best to regain focus. But Horangi was let go soon after when König recognised it was him, his grip loosened slightly just to not hurt Horangi anymore but he didn’t let go. König lowered his head to his lover’s hand, gently kissing the skin already a little red from his rough handling just now.
“Horangi… Horang- hic… gi…”
“I’m here König,” his voice soft and patient. “I’m here.”
“I love you… I love- hic… you so much. Please- hic… don’t leave me.”
“König I’m not going anywhere.”
“Hic-...”
Horangi understood why König was like this. SpecGru had just sent over some men to assist on a mission two days from now, and one of them had been the man who didn’t come save Horangi when he needed him most, Wong Zhiqiang. It was akin to a joke from the fates themselves, a cruel one. Zhiqiang was just as aghast to see him alive and well after all these years, not only that but a well respected Lieutenant. Evidently König was beyond fuming with jealousy and anger when he found out through Horangi’s words. If it weren’t for his lover holding him back, König would have buried the man six feet under the moment he got to KorTac. But his attempt at peaceful resolution was mistaken as desire to reconcile with the man who he once loved and held dear to his heart.
Despite Horangi explaining and reassuring him over and over again, the shadow of doubt still weighed heavily in König’s heart. He felt guilty for having to make Horangi do all of this to placate his twisted jealousy, for even daring to question his love in the first place. In the end König reluctantly agreed for Horangi to go talk to the man who was once his fiancé to sort things out while he buried himself in alcohol at the local bar.
He knew he shouldn’t feel like this, had been berating himself over and over again for letting these emotions get the best of him, but he couldn’t help it. There was a deep seated fear of abandonment in him. It was outright ridiculous, he had never cared about being left behind, be it by his parents or his past girlfriends, but… Horangi… He couldn’t lose Horangi, especially not to a man like Wong Zhiqiang, he refused to. But when the anger subceeded, another question was raised then.
But what if… what if Horangi did go back to the other guy?
They spent half of their lives with one another, they were the childhood friends that fell in love and were only separated because of Zhiqiang’s parents. What if… they reconnected? Part of him was certain they wouldn’t, it was already too late for that, but another part of him kept repeating the phrase “what if” in his head. The guys at the bar didn’t help, they saw a giant drinking his sorrow away and thought they could make their move on him. He turned away as soon as he could make out they weren’t his Horangi, but it was getting really annoying being flirted with constantly. Anyone that wasn’t Horangi should get the fuck out!
“Horrangi… Ho- hic-... rangi… I love you…”
“I know König,” Horangi reassured him, “I love you too. Let’s get you home yeah? I’ll make you something to deal with the hangover.”
“Horangi… What did- hic-... What did you say to- hic-... Zeekang?”
“It’s Zhiqiang, and he’s Zimo now,” he added as he tried to support König on his back. “I’ll tell you all about it when we’re home, yeah? Come on big guy, up on your feet for me.”
The walk home was excruciatingly long, he had to hold back the urge to puke out every ounce of liquor he consumed back at the bar only because he didn’t want to dirty Horangi’s shirt. As soon as his back hit the bed, he felt Horangi’s gentle kiss on his forehead before the other backed away. Fear took over him immediately then, hand reaching out for the other’s arms, grip trembling.
“Don’t go,” he whispered with shaky breaths. “Please don’t go.”
He was relieved to see Horangi’s eyes softened at him, overjoyed with the other bending down to hug him, fingers running gently on his scalp. Horangi was a welcomed weight on his chest, it was getting hard to breath but he couldn’t care less about his own situation right now.
“Just for five minutes, yeah?” Horangi said. “I have to make something for your hangover, I don’t want you to wake up with a headache tomorrow.”
“Five minutes. Only five minutes,” he repeated it like a mantra, relishing in the body warmth of his lover.
As all the sounds around them died down, König started to focus on Horangi’s heart thumping evenly by his ears, his chest rising and falling atop of him. Horangi was there with him. So warm. So nice… Horangi smelled of freshly harvested tea leaves still adorned with morning dewdrops. His waist easily enclosed in the other’s hand, he could practically grab him by the hip and fling him on the bed beside him like this, and the thought was slowly growing more appealing to his inebriated mind.
“How’s… the talk?” König asked, a little hesitance bleeding in his voice.
“It’s fine,” Horangi answered flatly. “We talked things out. He said he didn’t know his parents did something like that to me and thought I ran away because I couldn’t handle the pressure. He waited for me to come around while I waited for him to come save me but… We… missed each other by a mile. He said he still waited for me, still loves me and wants me back.”
“And… what did you say?...” König wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he asked nonetheless.
“I said I already have you now, someone who won’t abandon me, someone who loves me more than he did. Just a guy running around the battlefield with a t-shirt and a biker helmet on his head.”
Horangi’s chest rumbled softly with his laugh, one of his hands was made into a cushion for his cheeks as he traced the other up König’s chest. The arm around his waist tightened then, suddenly he was lifted and tossed over to the bed. Before he could voice out any objection, König’s lips found his and pressed persistently. They were brought back to their first kiss again, also a bit of liquor sweet and tangy on the tip of their tongue. Horangi didn’t mind letting König have his way with him until he heard the other sobbed again.
“Horangi… Horangi I love you so much…”
Tears swelled up at the corner of his eyes and streamed down his pillow in rivulets, he tried to muffle his cry in the other’s chest to no avail, but it was still better than to deal with all of this alone. Horangi hugged him tightly, fingers carding through his hair soothingly as kisses planted on his forehead.
“Shh… It’s okay now. You’re such a big baby. You’re already captain now y’know. Big bad captain is crying for me?”
“Ugh…”
König couldn’t form a single coherent word to respond, too engulfed in joy from knowing he wouldn’t be abandoned by his beloved. Because between a man who had known Horangi for more than half of his life and him, Horangi decided to stay with König instead. Even when offered the chance to go back, even when there was nothing standing in their way anymore, Horangi chose him. König couldn’t tell if he was being too emotional over this or it was the wine affecting him. Either way he didn’t care.
“Hey, why do you always wear those things anyways? You have more than enough money to buy better, proper gear. Do you use them to fund some hobbies I don’t know about? Why didn’t- König? König?”
And so, König drifted to sleep with Horangi in his arms basking in the assurance that the other wouldn’t leave him.
---
An exceptionally tall man showed up at the bank one day, by the insignia on his chest the clerks could tell he was a colonel. He asked for an account inquiry and a print out of all his assets. König quickly took a look at the papers given to him before thanking the bank tellers and exited the building. As if to confirm things again, he rechecked the numbers, a smile crept up the corner of his lips as he stared at the little piece of paper.
“It’s time,” König thought. “It’s finally time!”
It was a weird sight to see a man in prestigious military uniform take a bus, but König was too used to the attention and the whispers by now. With age came fatigue, he found himself not having the energy to care about the people who weren’t Hongjin. The bus stopped at a narrow street with not many pedestrians walking by, König continued on foot to a jewellery shop located at the end of the road. The shop was moderately sized and wedged between two bigger buildings, a wooden sign hanging at its door adorned in wings patterns. It may not look like it, but it was one of the most prestigious jewellery shops in Austria, known only by the people in higher society.
“Welcome to Flügel,” the clerk greeted him with a smile. “My name is Vivianne and I’ll be at your service for today. What do you have in mind sir?”
“A ring,” König said after a while. “I want a ring.”
“Well but of course,” she smiled at him as she walked him over to a bracket filled with rings of many kinds. “May I ask for your finger size please?”
“Oh, uh…”
König fumbled around for something in his pocket before pulling out a small string tied into a little circle and handed it over to Vivianne. She was a little confused at first until König clarified.
“It’s for my… my soon to be… my lover. That’s his finger size. I want this to be a surprise gift to him.”
“Oh…”
The woman smiled fondly at the little thread. It must have been so carefully taken, adorned with love from the man himself. It wasn’t said aloud, but she could feel the affection this man had for his dearest. König couldn’t really disclose the fact that it took him months of sneakily waking up before Hongjin, trying his absolute hardest to not wake the other up so he could tie the thread and take the necessary measurement. He had dozens of practices with any tube-like object to make sure his plan was carried out flawlessly.
At first König thought about it, he was certain he knew Hongjin’s finger size by memories, the fingers that carded through his hair every morning, the fingers intertwined with his as Hongjin whispered words of adoration to him, the fingers caressing his face gently throughout the years. He loved them, adored them too much to not already have them ingrained in his heart, but he couldn’t just show up at a jewellery shop without an accurate size. Perfectionism was never something König prided that he had, but if it was for Horangi he could do anything. And this, this had to be absolutely perfect for Hongjin. His beloved Hongjin.
Vivianne showed him the models of ring he could pick from, those that she thought would suit the man König held such affection for he showed up at the shop with a tied thread. There were many styles of ring König could choose from, all of them beautiful beyond his imagination could ever come up with.
“This one,” König pointed. “I want this one.”
“That’s a very lovely choice sir,” Vivianne complimented as she took the ring out for König to take a look.
It was one with simple design, winged patterns running along the silver material adorned with many more little feathers decorating a round blue topaz. The gemstone bright as it stood out amongst the wings. Vivianne returned shortly with a ring more accurately sized to König’s liking. His face softened at the image of the man he loved having a ring wrapping around his finger, the ring picked and bought by König himself. He had waited so long, so long for this moment, and it was every bit as good as how he used to envision it.
“I’ll take this one please,” König said after a while.
“Of course sir,” Vivianne smiled as she retrieved the ring from his hold. “Do you have any engraving demands? Would you like for me to wrap it up for you? Make it look like a present?”
“... Yes, please write___”
“Of course sir,” the clerk nodded at his request. “That would take up to one day. Please leave your phone number and address so I can have it delivered directly to you. I assure you, we will do our best to finish it as soon as possible.”
A day. Only a day. König repeated mentally. He didn’t mind waiting. König put down his hotel address and phone number for Vivianne before excusing himself.
“Thank you for shopping with Flügel. I wish you and your lucky partner an eternal joyous life together.”
“... Thank you.”
König politely returned the farewell before walking out waiting for the bus again. It was already late in the afternoon when he made it back to the hotel, stacks upon stacks of documents were waiting for him back his room, but he hated them a little less after today.
The package arrived the next day as Vivianne promised, a bag black as charcoal was delivered to him right at his doorstep. König stared at the little thing, still feeling a little too surreal about it all, like a dream he had had millions of times before and it finally became true. The ring was placed in a black velvet box propped up amidst a plethora of little yellow flowers on its cushions, it was also designed to look like a little treasure chest with gold decorating its corners and edges.
There was a weight on König’s chest, it made it a little harder for him to breath, but it was a welcomed one. He was so overjoyed at everything that he had to sit down to handle it all. Hongjin. His beloved Hongjin. His sun and his stars. His sky and his sea.
“Hongjin, I can’t wait to get home so I can see you again.”
The business trip only lasted a week, yet it felt like he had been away from his dearest for decades. All those years his love for the man never waned, never faltered. They’ve had bad days, but they’ve also had good days. Hongjin welcomed his colonel with open arms as soon as he landed in the airport. He was greeted with a kiss from the man he loved. König hugged Hongjin’s waist tightly before lifting him up and spinning him around playfully not caring about what other people might think.
“You seem very happy my colonel,” Hongjin giggled against his lips.
“Of course!” König replied. “I finally get to go back to you.”
“It’s only been a week.”
“Really? Felt like a milenia.”
Hongjin only shook his head lightly at König’s questioning look, he helped König with his luggage and guided them to the car. As soon as they were inside König pushed him down the driver’s seat and bombarded him with kisses and caresses. Oh how he missed the taste of morning tea leaves on the tip of his tongue, still as wonderful as ever after all these years. Horangi smiled against his lips, his arms curling around König’s neck gently tugging the other closer still.
“Did you miss me, my little Lieutenant?”
“Hmm…” Hongjin hummed as answer, his hand started to wander down the front of König’s trousers. “I miss him.”
“Ha…” König couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh, palm warm as it draped over Hongjin’s own. “He misses you too.”
Two can play that game. A playful light glinted in Hongjin’s eyes, but he only gave König a peck before pushing the other down the passenger seat. Hongjin carefully leaned over to fasten the seatbelt for König before pulling his over the shoulder.
“Welcome home, 여보 (darling).”
He heard the other mutter softly before starting the engine.
Home…
Yeah. He’s home. As long as he has Hongjin by his side, anywhere is home.
The trip back to base was short, König greeted the higher ups and made a report before finally excusing himself to go back to his corner. Hongjin accompanied him through it all along the way. His trusted Lieutenant. The love of his life. By the time they reach their shared room König was already shaking with anticipation, the velvet box weighing like a thousand mountains in his suit pocket.
When would he pop the question? Where? Is it too soon to ask right now when his luggage hadn’t even been unpacked yet? Should he let Hongjin rest first? Take a shower? After dinner? A plethora of questions infected his mind like a parasite as he stared at the way Hongjin stretched himself in front of him. He loved him. He loved Hongjin. He loved that man more than anything. He could lay down on molten lava for him to walk over if needed. Maybe the time and place wasn’t ideal, but he hurriedly got down on one knee right there, the velvet box soft and too warm on his trembling hands.
“Hongjin.”
“Yeah?-”
Hongjin’s legs gave up and he fell on his ass as soon as he saw König, hands gripping over his mouth tightly as his eyes blown wide from sheer astonishment. König huffed softly at his reaction, and he wanted so badly to hit the other in the head and tell him to stop laughing, but he found no strength left in his body to do so.
“I- um… Hongjin, we’ve been together for… uh… ten, thirteen?… F-for many years now. And I- um… I wanna… Wait a minute, let me just… Tch!” König looked for the notes he undoubtedly remembered putting in his back pockets but they were nowhere to be found when he reached for it. He clicked his tongue out of frustration before turning back to Hongjin again. “Hongjin, I love you. I’m really not good with words. I wrote a really long and heartfelt note for this but I think I lost it. Um… I’m sorry this is not according to my plans at all. What I’m trying to say is- Hongjin!”
Amidst his blabbering, he stopped abruptly when seeing Hongjin started to cry in front of him, tears streaming down his cheeks in rivulets. König’s hand was still shivering when he held Hongjin in his arms, his chest rising and falling too fast for his liking. They sat together in each other’s embrace like so for a while, until Hongjin’s hiccups subsided.
“Hongjin.”
“I’m here 여보 (darling). I’m here.”
“I love you. I love you a lot.”
“I know. I love you too.”
“I wanna stay with you till old age, together. We’ll request a permanent discharge, you and I. We can go anywhere and do anything we want, as long as we have each other. I have more than enough to provide for us both. Will you…” König hesitated then, but his voice became bolder shortly after. “Will you marry me?”
The silence that followed was deafening, and for the first time ever, it was one he didn’t welcome. But the shadow of doubt and fear soon dissipated when he felt Horangi nodding lightly in his hold.
“I do.”
“It’s “I will”,” König corrected.
“Shut up. You’re ruining the moment.”
“I ruined the moment? How about you falling on your ass while I was proposing? How about I have to calm you down in the middle of this?”
“You’re the one who lost your stupid fucking notes.”
“It’s not stupid. For your information it was very heartfelt and touching.”
They laughed together then, Hongjin leaning back against König’s chest, feeling the other’s heart beating fast and warm. König took out the velvet box again, opening it in front of Hongjin for him to see, for them both to see. The band fitted perfectly on his finger, making Hongjin wonder when and how did his lover (well, his soon to be husband now) get the measurement down to the millimetre. Their hands intertwined with one another, resting on Hongjin’s lap. The blue topaz shining a soft glow under their room’s light.
“I didn’t get you anything yet.”
“We have a lot of time, you and I. We may not be young anymore but we have each other now, that’s all that matters.”
Hongjin fiddled with König’s calloused fingers in his own, undoubtedly thinking about the ring. His fingers weren’t slender and elegant like Hongjin’s, they were thick and filled with callouses.
“What do you have in mind?” König asked.
“Obsidian,” Hongjin replied.
“Sounds lovely.”
“Like the colour of your eyes,” König idly thought.
Hongjin took out the ring and put it back in the box, not wanting to have anything happen to it until they could get their discharge requests approved. When he asked König about the plan after leaving KorTac, König had simply shown him all the documents about his assets and savings. The zeroes were dizzying to look at to say the least.
“W-where did you get all this??”
“I’ve been saving,” König sheepishly replied. “I told you, I have more than enough to provide for us both.”
“Saving? When did you even…”
“When I was still a sergeant. You always told me I could buy better gears and stuff but I was saving for us. I want you to be happy with me Hongjin, and I can’t do that without financial stability.”
“This is a lot more than “financial stability” König.”
In his defence, when he started this he came up with a ridiculous number and made a goal to earn triple, quadruple that number. König wasn’t sure how much was enough so he just buried his head in saving and earning. He got the cheaper gears and equipment, taking up assignment upon assignment, anything that paid well. “Reckless to a fault,” Hongjin had scolded him one too many times.
“You…” Hongjin placed a hand on his cheeks, fingers rubbing softly at the corner of his eyebrows. “I honestly don’t know what to do with you.”
“You can stay by my side.”
König took Hongjin’s hand in his own, kissing and nibbling softly. Hongjin guided his face towards him, a peck fell gently on the corner of his lips.
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m your idiot,” König chuckled raising his hand to show off the ring with an obsidian gem on it, “now and forever.”
Inside Hongjin’s wardrobe lay a little velvet treasure chest with his ring in it, safeguarded till the day they could hold their wedding. The letters ingrained dark and clear on the inside of the ring.
“Wir hatte unsere schlechten Tage, aber wir hatten viel mehr gute Tage”
(We've had bad days, but we've had more good days)
~~~