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After everyone got brought back to life, Ricky and Noel started becoming good friends. Ricky liked Noel because of how bold, vibrant, expressive, and creative he was. Even though Ricky was named Most Imaginative Boy In Town, they thought that Noel was a very, very close second. Only someone with a great mind could come up with something like the tragic tale of Monique Gibeau.
But something that Ricky noticed was that Noel wasn’t like that at school. He was quieter, more withdrawn. Not that he was entirely without personality, but compared to the afterlife thing, there was significantly less of it. Something else that Ricky noticed when sitting next to Noel in a class one day was his hands. He saw that there was a bit of nail polish on Noel’s fingers, but it had been mostly scratched off, as though he’d been trying to remove it.
Ricky wasn’t sure why Noel was hiding his real self like this, and it worried them. Ricky knew how it was to feel the need to hide yourself, and he knew that it sucked. And with as much personality as Noel had, Ricky could only imagine that masking it had to be exhausting. Then they remembered something that Noel had said during his afterlife monologue:
“Mom tells me I have to try to blend in. So I tried really hard to dial it back. I had to.”
This was slightly upsetting to Ricky. After getting to know Noel, they saw no reason why Noel should be told to dull his spark. He was a beacon of light in this boring small town, Ricky thought. So they decided to ask Noel about it, find out why he was listening to people telling him to not be himself. Even if they didn’t get an answer, at least Noel would know that someone valued the real him.
So one day, Ricky decided to talk to Noel at lunch. Mischa wasn’t at school that day, so it was just Noel and Ricky, one-one-one, and that was exactly how Ricky wanted that conversation to go.
After setting his tray down on the lunch table, Ricky got a pencil and a piece of paper out of his bookbag and set them on the table (he would have used sign language, but the choir was still trying to learn it. Mischa was almost there and Penny had already known it prior to joining the choir, but everyone else needed work before Ricky could stop using the pencil and paper). Then they began to write.
-Hey Noel, I wanted to ask you something. You seem really different than you were when I first got to know you in the afterlife. You were so bold and creative, and I really liked that about you. But now you’re a lot more quiet and you keep to yourself most of the time. What’s up with that? I just want to make sure you’re doing okay :)-
Then they gave the note to Noel. He read it and then responded, “Yeah, I’m okay. I just tone it down a bit when I’m at school.”
Ricky took the paper back and wrote down something else.
-Because of your mom?-
“Yeah, kinda. I got bullied, so Mom wants me to be like everyone else so they don’t have a reason to make fun of me.”
-Wait, people bully you?!-
“Don’t worry, it died down a long time ago. And it was never much more than a minor inconvenience. Because I knew those things weren’t true.”
-Then why does your mom still want you to blend in?-
“To protect me in case it starts back up. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and I know she means well, it’s just…when she tells me that, all I hear is, ‘You can’t be yourself or else no one will like you’.” As he said this, tears started to fill his eyes, and he looked down in an attempt to hide them. Ricky, having already noticed, reached over and comfortingly placed his hand on top of Noel’s. It hurt his heart to see Noel so upset, and it hurt his heart that his mom, who genuinely had good intentions, seemed to hurt him more than the bullies did. With his other hand, he took the paper back.
-I’m so sorry. For what it’s worth, I know the real you and I like you. I, for one, would love for you to stop toning it down.-
When Noel saw the paper, he smiled. A few of the tears spilled and he quickly wiped them away. Ricky squeezed Noel’s hand tight. “Thanks, Ricky. It means a lot. But honestly, I’m really scared to do that. I feel like I’m too much sometimes, and if I stop hiding, the few people who do like me won’t anymore.”
-Don’t let your mom get in your head, Noel. I once heard this inspirational quote (yeah I know it’s cheesy, but it fits the situation). ‘You’ll never be too much for the people who can’t get enough of you.’-
“You know what, Ricky? You’re right. Thanks.”
-Sorry for bringing it up, I didn’t mean to make you cry. But I wanna ask one more thing before I change the subject. Why is your nail polish so scratched up?-
“That’s not your fault. Sorry about that, I’ve just never told anyone about this before and I guess all my feelings just came up all at once. And to answer your question, well, I like painting my nails sometimes, but Mom doesn’t like it when I do that. Something to do with the whole blending in thing. She let me keep it on, but made me feel really bad about it. So I’ve just kinda been scratching at it for the past few days until it comes off.”
-I think it looks nice on you. Also, never apologize for feeling your feelings. Remember that cheesy inspirational quote.-
Noel laughed. “I will. Now, you should start eating. I don’t want your food to get cold.”
That evening, Noel re-painted his nails. He painted them dark green because his St. Cassian uniform was red and in his opinion, red and green are one of the best color combos. He somehow managed to hide it from his mom. Even though that conversation with Ricky gave him confidence, he wasn’t ready to tell his mom about this.
When he got to choir, he saw that he wasn’t the only one who stopped toning himself down; Ricky had their nails painted a glittery silver and their hair, usually in a bun, was down and curly today.
“Wow, Ricky, you look great!” said Noel.
Ricky must have been planning to talk to Noel about this, because he had a notebook and pencil in his lap already. They quickly and excitedly wrote, -You said you were scared, so I thought having someone to do it with you would help a bit.-
“Oh Ricky, you’re so sweet. Thank you for everything.”
-Hey, what are friends for?-
They hugged for a while. Noel was overjoyed that he was finally starting to overcome his insecurities, and that he had a friend who was willing to be there every step of the way. From that day on, he used that quote Ricky told him as a life motto.
“You will never be too much for the people that can’t get enough of you.”