Chapter Text
Year 22, April 11th : Taehyung
“Lately I’ve been having this strange dream, Yoongi’s trapped inside a burning fire, Jungkook is falling from a building. Hoseok gets injured walking in his sleep, Jimin is locked up in a hospital, and Namjoon is in Prison....
... Every night the same dream visits me.”
“The dream is morphing like the scales of the kaleidoscope. My hands are steeped in red. I think it’s blood, Hyung. A deep aching remorse takes over and pulls me down. This blood on my hands, I think it belongs to...
... You.”
Year 22, April 11th : Seokjin
“Every time I couldn’t save you guys, you became more miserable. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t save you.”
You won’t make it out here alone.. In this entangled destiny.
Yes, no matter how many times I tried, I could never save all of them on my own. Once again, just like before....
... Together with you.
Year 22, April 11th : Taehyung
These dreams they feel so real. The fire that traps Yoongi, I can feel its flame licking at my sides. The heat is all permeating. Why did you pull him out? He said he doesn’t want to be saved. He told you Hyung. He told you that. Why do you try so hard? Some of us may be beyond saving.
... Will you visit my dreams and nightmares too? Are these dreams or are they nightmares?
... Tell me Hyung, do you see them too? Do you see what lies in wake for me? Will you try just as hard to save me too?
Year 22, April 11th : Seokjin
I always wake up alone, except when you walked into my dreams. Did you know I was powerless, wanting to do nothing. Not even move a limb to change this twisted destiny that has us in its grips. Do you know that you smile and the blade twists harder on my powerlessness. Yet that casual walk-in, loosened the vices of my indecision and the clock rewound.
I grasped out trusting and believing that I shall find the answers in the ephemeral whisps which dissipate like the foam on a tired beach. Your smile pushing the wheels in my halted, defeated self. I have to try.
Year 22, April 14th : Taehyung
Hyung, Jimin is drifting deep into murky waters. I am unable to bring him afloat. Each time I grab his hand or his feet to pull him up, he sinks deeper. He wants to escape. I know it. I can feel it, but I can’t pull him up. Do you feel the helplessness?
You know maybe I shall be happy too, to sink into the darkness like him. I was put in a cell for painting a wall. They called it vandalism. Those are my dreams which I am painting. I swear. Do you know what else? I did not use the colour red.
Year 22, April 14th : Seokjin
I had thought people needed saving. Like some childhood gallant fantasy, each of you had to be pulled out. Maybe I had thought, I was sent to save all of you. I am just as naïve as I was in High School. When I thought my father had lost his clutches on me. Yoongi caught the fire for my weakness.
Perhaps I am still incomplete that is why the clock rewinds. It is like a tunnel that I am burrowing in. Trapped with only a few images and memories to guide me. Each turn of the clock the memories shift their origin and my destination changes. You would think that with all that I have lived through and everything that I know, I would have saved all of you by now.
This slow clawing into each one of your lives, holds a mirror to myself. I am unsure if you all trust me the same as last time. If any of you want my saving? Why haven’t I met you yet?
Year 22, April 14th : Taehyung
You know I see you. It’s the same as the time I saw you talking to the principal. You probably didn’t see me then just as you haven’t known that I have been watching you now. I didn’t ask then thinking Namjoon knew more than me. If Joonie Hyung didn’t see the need to question you, who was I? Sometimes, I felt rebellious enough to break my silence and tear you apart just like the group was torn. I still held back, I thought I could go years without asking. I am asking now, why Hyung?
What is it that stops you from trusting us? Why won’t you share your true self?
Year 22, April 20th : Seokjin
I get tired too. I haven’t let on just how tired these limbs have grown. Buoying my parents’ expectations and keep myself in the best behaviour always. I was thrust this responsibility. I know I struck the deal in the hopes of saving you all, even when there was no saving myself.
I was never any good at painting outside the lines. Too afraid to make mess. Even as each of you slips through my grasp I am afraid to reveal the truth. I know you think you are dreaming, but are we really only in dreams meeting?
Do you see the invisible lines that grow each time I fail? Does the timeline crack into that many fragments?
Will you finally show yourself to me? Taehyung, we need to talk.
Year 22, April 30th : Taehyung
I have done a good job of hiding myself so far. Wouldn’t you say so Hyung? Sometimes I don’t want to know what happened. Or where do my dreams take me?
The desire to know is winning out every day. The blood on my hands is driving me insane. If I want to know I will have to meet you. But if we meet, what if my fears are true? What if that is blood on my hands?
What if that blood belongs to you?
Year 22, April 30th : Seokjin
Finally. We meet.
You are still shuttered to me. Looming large watching me.
You still smile in that squarish way of yours. I see that you still adjust your hair when uncomfortable.
I know you won’t share so easily. This time I want to earn your trust. We need to work together.
Help me save you. Help me.
Save Me.