Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

anyone still up? >

An's thumb hovered over the send button. She'd stared at that message and retyped it five times over. Nobody had any reason to be up this late, but she fought the risk of embarrassment that could come when the next morning arrived against her unsettled stomach. She hit send and dropped her phone on the bed beside her.

She looked up at the ceiling light switched on at an hour it probably shouldn't have been. Her headphones were turned up a bit too loud in order to drown out the sound of rain and wind crashing around in the street below her bedroom window, but not loud enough to shield her from sudden claps of thunder.

Moments like these made An hate solitude. The walk to her parent's bedroom was only a few steps down the hall, but the older she got, the less she felt like she was able to wake them because of a nasty storm rattling her bedroom window in a bone-chilling way. Somehow, messaging her partners at 1am, when she knew they were all sleeping, was less embarrassing.

With a buzz at her side, she snatched her phone again. She sat up to read the message:

< whats up

Between the three of them, she's least surprised Akito would be the one to answer this late at night despite his habit of getting up before the sun does to train.

cant sleep >
why r u awake?? >

An watched and waited; the little text bubble popping up and down kept her in suspense. She tapped the side of her phone to the music to focus her mind on something. Eventually, she closed her eyes and tried to imagine a slightly pissed-off, disoriented Akito squinting at his phone, lying in bed, fighting for his life to think of a good comeback at this hour. She was hardly in a position to be making fun of him for being awake considering she was doing the same thing. 

< i could ask you the same thing??

—was the response he settled on, not half the wit she expected. Then came another reply:

< are you okay?
< with the storm and all

On one hand, An hated being known. The way Akito in particular could always see through her—whether she asked him to or not—it drove her crazy. While on the other hand, she loved not needing to explain herself. He just knew.

im mostly fine >

No, he'd see through that too.

kinda >  

Saved it with a last-second addition.

< you wanna talk abuot it?

An closed her eyes and sighed. Of course she wanted to talk, she wouldn't have said anything otherwise, but now she regrets calling for attention. She was just being dramatic, surely. She's not really scared—not by some video she watched over 12 hours ago.

u remember that video mizuki showed me at lunch? >
the ghost hunting one >

< yeah

im still thinking about it >

< youre still worried about it?
< oh
< sorry
< do you want me to chew them out before class tomorrow

DONT do thatttt >
it was harmless fun >

< harmless

*meant to be harmless fun >
it actually kinda interesting >
it was actually >
but now im >
yeah >
sppoked >
spooked >
and then the storm >
not great feeling :/  >

An rolled over on her side and stared at Akito’s text bubble. If she focused hard enough, she might be able to convince herself that her buzzing stomach and uneven breathing were for him, obviously deleting and retyping and deleting and rethinking his message. It took over a minute for him to send back:

< is there anything i can do to help?

Just knowing he was on the other side of her phone screen, sending her messages to show he cares (despite the fact he should be asleep right now), was enough and all he really could do. She didn't have the right to ask for anything more, but if she could have anything...

a hug 🥺 >

< there
< do you feel it?
< im sending one to you

noooooo like a real one >
right now >
right this minute >

< ill see you tomorrow

fiiiiiiine >
guess ill just sit in bed >
alone >
cold >
by myself >

< fine

w nobody to cuddle with >
all alone >

< oh shut up im putting my shoes on

wait really >
akito >
r u serious >

< yea

but the trains arent running anymore >

< okay and?

and its raining >
DO NOT RUN HERE >
I WAS JUST KIDDING >
I WAS MESSING WITH YOU >

A minute passed, and he didn't say anything.

im fine i promise >
just call me >

Another minute and still nothing. Did he really mean it, or was he just playing with her? An scrambled for the call button at the top of the screen, and it rang. It rang and rang, and she waited. He didn't pick up. It went to voicemail. She hung up before she could leave a message. Next, she tried to check his location, and sure enough, he was on the move just outside his house. 

She tried to call him again. Of course he didn't answer, but this time she left a voicemail:

"You really are an idiot, you know that?"

Running to the cafe was usually less than a ten minute trek for him, but it was raining, and he was going to get cold. An would never forgive him if he got sick or hurt for being this stupid.

She closed the group chat to send a direct message to Akito. Kohane and Touya have woken up to longer missed conversations before, they all have, but she didn’t want them to be needlessly worried. An started to type:

dude go home|

For a moment, she deliberated over sending it. That moment intersected with a pause in her playlist between songs; the next song started quieter than the previous one, and the break of her only distraction left An very aware of how empty her apartment was beyond her bedroom door. Anything could be lurking in the hall that she can’t see. The rain itself never brought An’s worries to her, but the sound of it at night reminded her of the footsteps she once heard at the soon-to-be Kamiyama high school when no one else was there. She had a hard time admitting that sometimes she wondered if the footsteps she heard still followed her.

Before she could send the text. An pressed the power button on her phone and dropped it on her lap. If he wasn’t answering her calls, why would he see her text? She shut her eyes tight and clutched a round, stuffed cat Touya gave her just like all of the plushies that found homes either on her bed or sometimes the floor—especially the floor if she had a particularly restless night.

She’d been here before. Listening to each beat, every sound and instrument, even bringing all of her attention to the vocalist’s words wasn’t enough anymore. Her hands started shaking again, and An opened her eyes to remind herself that her bedroom light was still on. 

Akito would be here soon. She didn’t want to ask him to come—it came across her mind as something like a joke: not well-thought-out, but her underlying desire was thinly veiled by the absurdity of the request. But since he decided to risk running to her by himself, late at night, and in bad weather, then she let herself be thankful.

Her fear still existed when they were with her—Akito was even a scaredy cat himself at times—but having a hand to hold or even just her partners’ presence could give her enough strength to last until the moment passed. 

An unlocked her phone and deleted the message. She didn’t want Akito to go home. She had said she wanted a hug.

A quick glance around her room, and An realized she needed to get up if Akito was staying over. She gathered all her loose clothes and shoved them in her wardrobe. She threw away as many food wrappers and crumpled papers from lyric-writing before the storm started as she could fit in her wastebasket and hoped that would be enough.

An’s phone vibrated once more. She'd never reached to read a notification faster before in her life. Akito sent a message to the group chat:

< open up

it all started when i was 6 tbh >

< open the fucking door

He’s really here. An was more relieved than she cared to admit to herself. She sprung to her feet and ran down the hall (that she didn’t notice she wasn’t afraid of anymore) as fast as she could quietly. On the way, she stopped to grab a towel because there was no knowing how well he dressed to be out in the rain in such a hurry. She raced through her apartment door and down the flight of stairs that led straight towards a steel door to the back alley behind Weekend Garage. They kept that door locked at night along with the front entrance.

An braced herself before pushing the door open to reveal Akito standing there. She pulled down her headphones, and the sound of pelting rain was much louder than she expected. To give Akito some credit, he thought to wear a poncho at least, but the hood didn’t do much to keep his hair dry as he ran, not to mention his shoes were soaked through. More than that, An cared most about how worried his eyes were.

He spoke first. “Hey.”

“Hey.” 

An let him in, and they climbed the stairs to her apartment. "What are you doing here?" She interrogated him before he could take one step into the entryway.

Akito huffed, trying to hide the fact he's out of breath. "Is that how you greet all of your boyfriends?" 

"Just the ones that are stupid enough to run out in a storm at one in the morning," An chided quietly, increasingly aware that Akito was in her entryway, and her parents were sleeping a few rooms down the hall. Akito shed his poncho. The hoodie he had on underneath also got wet.

An handed him the towel and asked, “Are you cold? Do you want to shower?”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“If you get sick, you know that’ll cause problems for all of us.”

“I’m not gonna be sick.” Akito took off his shoes and hung up his socks to dry next to his hoodie. “I might need to borrow some clothes though.”

“Yeah, no problem.” It really wouldn’t be much of a problem since she had plenty of all of their clothes stashed in her room whether they were left there intentionally or she borrowed a hoodie and conveniently (or inconveniently, for them) never gave it back.

An more or less shoved Akito into the bathroom with some clothes that were probably his. An returned to her room to wait. She paced the path between the doorway and her bed, peeking in the hall each round to see if Akito had come out yet. She didn’t want him to find her sneaking a glance in the hall, so she sat on the bed and held her knees still.

She wished the sound of the rain could comfort her. She really wanted to find music in the rhythmic tapping and splashing, but there were too many other thoughts combusting in her brain to look for it and appreciate it.

When Akito walked into her room, he draped his towel and wet clothes over the drying rack near the door and soon joined her on the bed. An didn’t know what to say to him that wouldn’t make her feel terrible in one way or another. Akito wanted her to say something first with the way he stayed quiet. The pressure she felt became too much, and she scoffed. It turned into a subtle laugh that she had to choke down to save face. 

“What?” Akito asked. “What’s so funny?”

“No, nothing’s funny,” An chirped. “I just… can’t believe you really did that.”

Akito feigned ignorance as if his actions didn’t speak a thousand words of his care for her. “Hm? What did I do?”

An groaned and dropped her head on his shoulder. “You know what you did.” She spoke quieter, “I told you I was fine.”

She was taken aback by the feeling of Akito’s lips meeting her forehead.

He said quietly, a song beneath his breath, “Just because you say you feel fine, doesn’t mean that you can’t feel any better.”

An looked to him and unknowingly gaped at his authenticity.

A strong gust of wind smacked An’s window, and the panel rattled alongside the whistling of air blowing past the glass. The noise sent An’s head swinging towards the source. She realized that very moment it was only the wind, but the noise startled her regardless; her nerves had been long since frayed.

Wordlessly, Akito brought An’s headphones up from around her neck and back onto her ears—she forgot she still had them with her. He sat back against her bed frame lined with stuffed animals and decorative pillows, and he pulled her up and over his lap for her to wrap her arms and legs around him comfortably. An held on tight. This was what she asked for after all. 

The bedroom light was still on, and she couldn’t be sure Akito was the most comfortable, but he let her adjust and lay however she wanted, and that told her all she needed to know. With Akito here to sit with her, talk to her, and play with her hair, An would get through this night more comfortably than before. She pulled him closer and held on even tighter. 

“Thank you,” she whispered into his chest. She didn’t hear a reply, but his hold on her strengthened, and she would stay there until she felt like she could finally rest.

---

< Did Akito stay over? Are we still meeting at the park at 9?
< Call me when you're awake.

< I'm sorry Anchan I was asleep  
< I hope you're feeling better now (⊃≧ω≦(´ω｀*⊂)

Chapter Text

Akito turned in his bed to the faint rumbling of thunder beyond his bedroom walls—brought back into the waking world against his will. The rumbling grew into stronger claps between the raindrops pelting his window, much too loud to ignore anymore.

He rubbed his eyes open against his pitch-dark room and lay there, staring up at nothing. He didn't know it was supposed to rain tonight, but it was that time of year. If it was still raining by the time his alarm went off, he was going to be pissed. Finding time to go jogging during the rainy season was a pain in the ass. What time was it anyway?

Rolling over to reach for his phone, it buzzed as he picked it up. He squinted at the screen: a few notifications appeared below the clock that read with some combination of numbers he wasn’t used to seeing at night. Among the most unusual things on his phone screen, a text message at the top of his notifications was more eye-catching.

< anyone still up?

A text from An? Why the hell was she still awake?

Akito struggled to get his thumbs to type a legible response.

whats up >

Almost an immediate reply:

< cant sleep
< why r u awake??

i could ask you the same thing?? >

A flash of light followed by another wave of thunder a breath later reminded Akito how he was rudely awakened in the first place, and it answered the vague question festering his barely awake brain: why was An texting the (s)quad group chat so late at night?

are you okay? >
with the storm and all >

< im mostly fine
< kinda  

It was cute that she pretended Akito didn’t have the slightest idea of how storms at night affect her—or any noises in the dark for that matter, but storms especially had been harder for her to weather in the past few months.

you wanna talk abuot it? >

< u remember that video mizuki showed me at lunch?
< the ghost hunting one

Akito had sat between those two and Touya, who was having a conversation with Kusanagi about committee stuff or something. He lost track of their conversation thinking about all of the ways showing An a ghost hunting video could go wrong despite Akiyama insisting the video ‘isn't scary because there's no way it's real.’ Something didn't need to be real to scare An; it just needed to be believable enough. 

yeah >

< im still thinking about it

youre still worried about it? >

Damn, she was replying so quickly, Akito couldn't even finish typing his question before she sent her answer.

oh >
sorry >
do you want me to chew them out before class tomorrow >

< DONT do thatttt
< it was harmless fun

Yeah, right, so harmless she was wide awake 13 hours later, still thinking about it.

harmless >

< *meant to be
< it actually kinda interesting
< it was actually
< but now im
< yeah
< sppoked
< spooked
< and then the storm
< not great feeling :/

Akito didn't know what to say. His brain was operating on less than a few hours of interrupted sleep, but he had to say something. The fact she told him anything about being uncomfortable in the first place said more about her effort to build trust indirectly than any conscious attempt she could make. Akito needed to respond to her in a way she deserved, but all of his searches for a coherent thought came up empty. It made him uneasy too; he felt helpless and unhelpful.

is there anything i can do to help? >

What more could he do? Akito flipped onto his back with a deep exhale. If nothing else, the least he could do was talk to her like he always did. He'd try to stay up with her for as long as he could.

< a hug 🥺

there >
do you feel it? >
im sending one to you >

< noooooo like a real one
< right now
< right this minute

ill see you tomorrow >

< fiiiiiiine

Akito rolled onto his side once more and watched his phone screen as An’s typing bubble kept bouncing up.

< guess ill just sit in bed
< alone
< cold
< by myself

fine >

< w nobody to cuddle with
< all alone

oh shut up im putting my shoes on >

< wait really
< akito
< r u serious
< but the trains arent running anymore

okay and? >

It took a second for him to realize what he'd said. He made it seem like he was about to show up at her apartment just to hug her. He huffed a laugh through his nose at her reaction. Then he read through it all again. It seemed like he was serious, and An believed him.

Although, what was stopping him from actually doing it? He had run in the rain before. He had run to Vivid Street from his place before. It sounded a bit crazy—stupid more like—but An’s reaction would be priceless. She egged him on for something she thought he wouldn't do, and he originally wasn't going to. 

Blame it on the middle-of-the-night delirium, but if his girlfriend wanted a hug that badly, then she'll get a hug. She would say she was fine, but why not go to her to make sure she was really alright? An likely wouldn't admit anything more unless Akito was right there to pry her worries out of her himself.

He sat up and threw his covers off. Yeah, okay. Fuck it.

Any shoes he wore out in the rain like this would get completely trashed, so he dug out an old beat-up pair from the back of his closet. They were a tighter fit which he might regret later, but he wasn't about to sacrifice any of his nice pairs of running shoes to a storm. He reached for any hoodie he could find and slid out of his room and down the hall as quietly as he could. He rummaged around the coat closet by the front door for a poncho or raincoat—something to at least keep his phone dry while he ran. 

With the plastic pulled over his head, he checked his phone one last time:

okay and? >

< and its raining
< DO NOT RUN HERE
< I WAS JUST KIDDING
< I WAS MESSING WITH YOU

Akito considered sending another reply, but he'd let his actions speak for him instead. He zipped his phone up in his pocket and braced himself for what would greet him as soon as he stepped outside.

He would never admit he was either nervous or excited to see her—both were grounds for at least three of his friends teasing him. Regardless of the reason, his anxious blunders had the same consequences. It wasn’t like him to forget to stretch or bring a water bottle on his morning runs, but it was also the first time he’d ever run in circumstances like these. 

It was hard to ignore his legs burning through the weight of rain pushing down; the water beginning to seep into his shoes and socks made him want to get rid of the lower half of his body entirely. The occasional ping of a raindrop landing directly in his eye made him question his 1am logic with full, lucid clarity, but it was too late to turn back now. 

In the heart of Shibuya, the late-night stragglers with umbrellas shot him weird looks, but he pressed on. Around a few more corners to get to Vivid Street, Akito made it to the Weekend Garage storefront. He continued past it to the end of the block and turned to get behind it through the alleyway at the back access door. He leaned against it to catch his breath, grateful for any amount of cover the small awning just above the door provided. 

He didn’t want to pay attention to how rain-soaked the cuffs of his sleeves and joggers were. It wasn’t necessarily cold outside, but a slight chill ran from his fingertips to the tip of his nose.

The door was locked. Striving to steady his strained breathing, Akito fished out his phone. 

He had two unread messages from a while ago:

< im fine i promise
< just call me

Well… it was a bit too late for that. Akito was sure as hell not running back home right now.

open up >

< it all started when i was 6 tbh

open the fucking door >

Akito heaved a few more times with his back against the wall in an attempt to collect himself. In the moments before he heard the clicks of the door unlocking from the other side, the drops of rain pelting on the awning sounded… nice. It was an easy sound to get lost in.

Just as the door creaked open, Akito spun around to greet a very flustered An. Her hair, frizzy and slightly damp from washing it hours prior, looked duller without her star pins. Her eyes looked as tired as Akito felt and much more confused by Akito’s stupidity. 

“Hey.”

She pulled her lips back into a thin line to hide her exasperation. “Hey.” She stepped aside, inviting him in from the storm. He’d had enough of it for the rest of the year.

They climbed the concrete steps to her apartment above the cafe, Akito dripping water from his shoes with each step. 

"What are you doing here?" An punctuated through a whisper.

Akito huffed, "Is that how you greet all of your boyfriends?"

"Just the ones that are stupid enough to run out in a storm at one in the morning." 

Akito took off his poncho and silently apologized for the mess he made in their entryway. He didn’t care about splattering water everywhere as much as he did about getting his wet clothes off of him.

An handed him a towel and asked, “Are you cold? You want to shower?”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“If you get sick, you know that’ll cause problems for all of us.”

“I’m not gonna be sick. I might need to borrow some clothes though.”

“Yeah, no problem.” An left while Akito finished hanging up his outer layers to dry.

She returned with a bundle of Touya’s sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt he’d seen on Kohane once before, but by the looks of it, it was probably one of An’s shirts that she lent her. At least the hoodie was his—one that he’d been trying to find for weeks and couldn’t recall ever giving to her, but this wasn't the best time for an interrogation.

Akito walked into her fully lit bedroom and hung his other clothes on her drying rack by the door. An spared a half-hearted glance but didn’t say anything—she only held herself together tightly wound and fragile—like pulling on the smallest thread would unravel her entirely. She was the smallest Akito had ever seen her.

He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t thought about getting this far—he hardly thought through anything about coming here. She said she wanted a hug, but it didn’t feel right to hold her just now. He won't scare or pressure her. 

Akito sat beside her and waited for her to come to him when she was ready. 

After a moment so quiet Akito could hear the music drifting out from the headphones around An’s neck, she started to laugh. She tried to hide it as a cough, but it caught Akito completely off-guard regardless.

“What?” Akito had to fight off a laugh of his own. The tension ate away at the both of them. “What’s so funny?”

An attempted to push her awkward smile down. “No, nothing’s funny. I just… can’t believe you really did that.”

“Hm? What did I do?”

An groaned as she lay her head on Akito’s shoulder. “You know what you did,” she said quietly. “I told you I was fine.”

That was all Akito needed. She reached over to him, and he reached back.

He wrapped an arm around her and brushed her unkempt bangs out of the way to gently kiss her forehead. “Just because you say you feel fine, doesn’t mean that you can’t feel better.” 

Leaning back slightly, An stared at him with strained eyes that tore open his chest. From up close, they looked reddened and slightly swollen. Had she been crying, or was it just the lack of sleep deteriorating them?

A burst of wind blew past the building and rattled the screen in An’s window. She whipped her head around and tensed up in Akito’s hold with the whistling against the glass. 

She didn’t have to be afraid of these things on her own anymore. Akito took her headphones off of her neck and adjusted them to her ears. He crawled across her bed and rested against her stack of plushies crammed in the corner between her bed frame and the wall with his arms open. An didn’t hesitate to take his invitation. She cuddled around him effortlessly, her head resting squarely against his neck despite the plastic of her headphones pressing into the side of it.

She held onto him tightly and mumbled a quiet “thank you” into Akito’s shoulder. He tried to pour enough comfort into their connection. He held her tighter and hoped she would feel how desperately he wanted her to be okay. It didn't have to make her fear go away, no matter how trivial it seemed. If he could bring any sort of peace to her, that would be enough. 

He felt his own peace being able to hold An, caress the back of her head, and run his fingers down her back to help her relax.  Eventually, he felt the weight of her breathing slow, and a subtle relief washed over him knowing that he was able to give her what she needed. Knowing that she was calming down meant everything to Akito. An felt safer with him, and that negated every terrible sensation he plowed through to get to her.

She seemed to think Akito making his way to her was some grand feat that shouldn’t have been possible. There were some risks, of course. Accidents were more likely in bad weather, but he’d do it again as if it was nothing more than any other hug she deserved.

He felt stiff in the position he sat in, but his own exhaustion came soon enough. When An’s entire body flinched in his grasp, it startled him out of some not-fully-conscious state he had drifted into. She often flinched awake when her nerves ran high. 

Akito rubbed her back and whispered reassurance that she was alright. 

An pried her head away from Akito. She looked around in confusion as she pulled her headphones off.

“Do you want to lay down and sleep?”

An nodded. She laid back into the swarm of plushies and pillows at their side, and Akito kissed the top of her head before sitting up. 

“Can I turn off the light?”

“Yeah,” she croaked through her sleepiness. 

Akito stood from the warm bed and walked towards the light switch. Before turning her bedroom light off, he turned on the light in the bathroom. The glow just outside her room spilling in from the hallway was just enough so it wasn’t completely dark. When he returned, An was rummaging through the mess on top of her bedside table. She pulled out a tangled pair of earbuds after abandoning her chunky headphones. Akito slid into bed just as she plugged them into her phone. His sore and tired limbs melted into the mattress and sighed in relief to finally lie down again.

He nestled by her side, and she forcibly shoved one of the earbuds into Akito’s ear. He combed through her bangs with his fingertips while she scrolled through her music library—much too tired to have a thought on any of it. He couldn’t keep his eyes open to see what albums or playlists she was shuffling through. She settled on something with some soft, electronic sounds that echoed into nowhere Akito could follow them.

An switched her phone off and curled into Akito’s side. With her arm draped across his stomach and her heavy breathing returned, Akito was quick to follow her into sleep.

Chapter Text

Akito woke up to an alarm buzzing from somewhere. An, however, didn't even move. Her phone was underneath his arm vibrating to the alarm tone gradually getting louder. Akito switched it off.

Squinting his eyes open to the room gently lit by the morning outside, his head throbbed a bit and he closed them again. His whole body felt much heavier than usual, but that should be expected after going for an intense run at whatever o’clock in the morning without stretching first. It wasn’t until An’s phone started vibrating again some minutes later that he even allowed himself to think about being awake.

Her phone was clinging to its remaining battery after playing music all night. Akito wrapped up the earbuds that had been long since abandoned and put her phone on its charger on the bedside table. He switched off the rest of An’s alarms while he was at it, no matter how tempting it was to adopt her strategy of saying “just five more minutes” repeatedly for an hour until she couldn’t put off getting up any longer. Today, however, he wanted to close his eyes and never move again. 

Sleeping next to An was always a toss-up between actually getting to sleep or being her dream's punching bag. She was relatively still in the handful of hours they slept last night, but still not without kicking Akito awake at least twice.

He had to push through the day today. That was fine. It wasn’t like he intended to make a habit of whatever he did last night. Morning practice was going to suck, but they’d be fine.

He took a deep breath and propped his head up slightly to search for his own phone in his pocket. There were a few notifications: something from Ena he dismissed, a new voicemail, and Touya and Kohane left them some messages in the group chat only minutes ago:

< Did Akito stay over? Are we still meeting at the park at 9?
< Call me when you're awake.

< I'm sorry Anchan I was asleep
< I hope you're feeling better now (⊃≧ω≦(´ω｀*⊂)

Akito smiled to himself. As far as worrying over An went, he was in good company with the two of them.

Before he called, he checked his voicemail inbox just to make sure he didn’t miss something from either of them. It turned out it was a message from An last night:

"You really are an idiot, you know that?"

Short, simple, and to the point.

Akito quietly scoffed through his nose. Yeah, he did know that. He was an idiot, but he would never say that to her. If someone told him a story about a guy running through the rain to comfort his partner, he’d write it off as a movie or fanfiction plot. Normal, sensible, smart people didn’t do that. 

He turned on his side. A mess of shaded blue swarmed An’s pillow, and her limbs sprawled out in several different directions though her hand was right beside him. Setting down his phone, he gently encapsulated her hand instead and gave it a little squeeze.

It wasn’t that Akito was completely stupid in his own right—despite his… academic challenges… he believed in his intuition. He could rely on his experiences to know what he could trust and what was bullshit. 

It was easy to be stupid around An because she had a way of challenging his intuition, whether consciously or otherwise. She was the reason he found a driving force that propels him each day. She helped set him on this path. Without her, he wouldn’t have been told by countless onlookers that his new dream was stupid—that he was just a kid with an unattainable end in mind, their true insult hidden along with a lack of empathy behind a so-called good intention. 

An was never like that. She had always understood. There was a time when it felt like she might have been the only one who ever could. 

If he was stupid for having that goal, she was right there with him. If he was an idiot for wanting to make her feel better, in any way possible, then an idiot he should be.

An sharply inhaled and tried to move her hand held by Akito. She brought her other one up to rub her face and join the waking world. Brushing her hair back, she glared up at the ceiling and then at Akito.

“You’re such a creep,” she mumbled in a low and sore voice. An’s insults were never hidden. Instead, they were betrayed by the fondness in her touches or the smile peeking through the corner of her mouth when she spoke. “—Watching me sleep and holding my hand without my permission.” 

She slid closer to Akito, and he adjusted to lie on his back for her to cling to. She wrapped her legs in between his like he was her own personal body pillow, resting her head against and kissing his shoulder. 

Akito caressed their intertwined hands resting on his stomach with his thumb. “Good morning, sunshine. Did you sleep alright?”

An hummed something unintelligible back.

“Don’t fall asleep again. We gotta get up for practice.”

She hummed the exact same reply. She wasn’t really known for waking up easily. 

“Touya and Kohane are worried about you.”

That made her lift her head and ask, “They are?”

Of course they are, you idiot. Even with insufficient sleep, Akito had enough sensibility to hold that one back.

“We should call them.”

She dropped her head once more and mumbled into Akito’s hoodie. “Okay…”

Akito found his phone again and started a video call in the group chat. They let An’s phone vibrate on the bedside table while waiting for someone to answer. 

“Hello?” Touya was the first to pick up. 

“Hey.” Akito suddenly regretted starting a video call, seeing a mess of himself in the corner of the screen. 

“Akito, how are you? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, more or less.”

“Are you at An’s?”

“Yeah, I stayed over.”

Kohane joined the call and immediately asked, “Is An-chan there?”

“Good morning to you too,” Akito sighed loudly despite a smile threatening to pry its way onto his face. “She’s drooling on my shoulder as we speak.”

“Kohaneeee, Touyaaaa…” An’s whines were muffled since she hardly made an effort to speak away from the fabric gathered at Akito’s neck. Akito moved the phone camera slightly so they could see her. “Good morning…”

“Good morning,” they sang back.

“I saw your messages with Akito-kun. What happened last night? Are you okay?”

“Oh, well…” An contorted herself to take the phone from Akito with her free hand. He tried to let go of her, but she held his hand tighter as she explained everything that happened only hours ago. It already felt so far behind them. 

Her voice woke up with her the longer she spoke. Her story couldn’t have gone without the occasional dig at Akito, but what she said at the very end concerned him much more. 

She sighed, “That was so stupid. I don’t get it. Why couldn't I just… I don’t know—be normal and go to sleep?” She scoffed at herself. 

Akito opened his mouth to refute, but Touya beat him to it. “I don’t think you should say things like that about yourself. You were afraid. That’s perfectly normal.”

An groaned and buried her face. “But I’m afraid of ghosts, the dark, random sounds… It’s so stupid.”

“As stupid as being afraid of dogs? Or heights?”

“Watch it…” Akito hissed.

Touya frowned. “That was uncalled for.”

“You guys didn’t let me finish,” Kohane laughed and managed to get a half-hearted snort out of An. “I was afraid of something once too. I never thought I could stand on stage like I can now. I was even terrified of meeting new people. I still am sometimes, but I’ve gotten better at it because you helped me. You all did in some way. 

“It sounds like Akito-kun helped you last night. I want to help you too. I love you, An-chan. The people who love you don’t think your fear is stupid.”

An went quiet for a moment.

“I’d like to have the chance to help you as well, to be clear,” Touya added.

“How dare…” An sniffled, “You two can’t say that when I can’t hug you.”

“Akito?”

“Can you hug her for us, please?”

“Already on it.”

“Wait, what?”

Akito lifted himself and broke free from An before dropping his entire weight on top of her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and lying down. 

“No—get off! You’re crushing me!” 

“Too late, I’m already comfortable.”

“Is this what it means to ‘crush on someone?’” Touya’s joke went unnoticed in An’s struggle to get Akito off of her.

“Don’t resist, An-chan. He’s giving you all of our love too.”

“You’re not going to reject a hug from Kohane, are you?” 

She sighed in defeat, “No, I guess not.”

“What’s the plan for today? Should we still meet at our usual time?” Touya asked.

“It rained a lot last night, the park probably won’t be the best place to go,” said Akito.

Kohane asked, “Are you two feeling up to practice? We could take it easy this morning?”

Akito looked up at An. “What do you want to do?”

“We don’t need to cancel practice just for this—”

A chorus of disagreement stopped An’s sentence before it was finished. 

“Try again, sunshine.”

“I’m serious! I really am feeling a lot better…” An bit on the inside of her lip as she hesitated. “...but it has been a while since we’ve gone out for breakfast, so if you’re offering…”

Kohane giggled, “I’d love to get breakfast with you. It sounds much more fun than stopping by the convenience store. Have you eaten, Touya-kun?” 

“I have, but I don’t mind just getting a drink. Where should we meet?”

“Actually, can you come here and bring me some shoes? Socks too.” Akito asked. “Mine from last night are probably still soaked.”

“Of course.”

“The gray and white ones you got from your brother that you said were a bit too small. Also, I think you have my pair of gray cargos in your bottom drawer towards the left. Could you bring those too?”

An muttered, “How do you know the exact contents of his dresser?”

“Sure, anything else?”

“Maybe a decent jacket? I don’t know where we’re going.”

“I have a sienna one I never wear you could have, or I just got a new cerulean three-quarter zip the other day if you’d like to try that?”

“I don’t think those are real colors.”

Akito ignored An’s comment. “Send me pictures of them next to the pants and shoes. I’ll see which looks better with the grays.”

“Is this how you two flirt?” An laughs.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m going to head out now so I can catch the 8:38 train. I’ll see you guys in about 25 minutes.”

“Goodbye, my beautiful Kohane. I miss you already.” An held the phone to her face and dramatically kissed the front camera. “Look both ways before crossing the street. You too, Touya.”

“Of course. I’ll leave and look for those clothes for you, Akito.”

An held the phone in front of Akito’s face. “Thanks. See ya soon.”

“You’ve gotta kiss them goodbye too,” An whispered loud enough for the other two to still hear.

“What?”

“Go on.”

“I’m not gonna kiss the fucking phone screen.”

“It’s not as if you came to visit us in the middle of the night, but you won’t spare a kiss for us either?” Touya prodded.

“We’re literally about to go on a date? I’ll see you in person soon enough.”

Kohane faked a sob. “You’re so mean to us, Akito-kun.”

“See? Look at what you’ve done. You made Kohane cry.”

“I hate you all,” Akito sighed. “Goodbye.”

“See you in a bit.”

“Bye-bye!”

“Love youuu!” An exhaled with the disconnected call. She set Akito’s phone on the bed and placed her hands on his back. 

“Okay, now you have to get off of me for real this time.”

“I told you, I’m very comfortable here.”

“Dude… Kohane’s going to be here soon.”

Akito rested his head and stayed quiet. Sometimes the best comeback was saying nothing at all.

“You’re so unfair.” An pouted despite tucking his head under her chin and reaching one hand up to gently massage his scalp. If it weren’t for the notifications from Touya reminding him to get up, he might’ve accidentally let himself drift off again. 

Akito sighed, “Okay.” He willed himself to push up off of An, but instead of sitting up normally, he rolled over and pulled An with him. She yelped but went along with him until he sat at the edge of the bed with her clinging to his front. Even though his legs were sore as hell, he stood and brought An to her feet, but her arms didn’t let go. “And now, we’re up.” 

An replied in their embrace, “And it only took like twenty minutes.”

“Is that a new record for you?”

She let out half of a laugh. “Shut up.”

Akito subtly tried to pull away, but she didn’t let him. His heart beat faster at An gripping his hoodie. “An?”

“Thank you,” she mumbled. 

Akito’s heart swelled, and time froze around them. Her voice suddenly went quiet and returned to a sense of smallness it had last night.

“And don’t say anything dumb. Accept my gratitude.”

“What? I d—”

“I tried thanking you last night, but you deflected. I really want you to know… that I mean it…” An kept her head down against his chest so Akito couldn’t see her. “If you didn’t come over… I probably would’ve been freaking out all night, but I was able to sleep because of you.”

It didn’t feel right that she could hide from her words. Akito pulled away just enough to cup An’s face. She hesitantly looked up.

She bit her lip again before swallowing down her hesitation. She continued quietly, “It was nice to have you here. Somehow, you’re always around when I need you. You have to know… that I appreciate it.”

Everything rushed to Akito’s head at once. Maybe looking her in the eyes was a mistake. Now, the room was vaguely spinning and his face was hot. So many different words died in his throat that he couldn't find any to piece together to form the correct response.

If An felt loved enough to thank him so earnestly, then that meant he’d done something right. Knowing he could do that for her made him soar. Everything was worth it for her—for them.

“Anything for you.”