Work Text:
It's not that long they're in there. The words slip through the door.
"This is a mess. Admit that.”
Honestly, Mina tries not to listen.
Part of a promotion cycle is preparing for it. Clearing your schedule because it's hours and hours of practice. Filming. In between, it's little moments, being able to breathe. Sudden, sharp breaths.
The door opens and closes and, quietly, Mina makes her way over from her room. By the couch, Jihyo’s slipping her shoes off. Her hair is tied up, a little messier than earlier. The little smile she gives her feels like a 'sorry'. Mina turns the light on for her.
"Are you okay?" She asks first.
"Yeah, of course."
"I got it." Mina says, when she starts taking off her jacket.
"Thanks." It's cold to touch. Her cheeks are slightly flushed. "Were you sleeping?"
Mina stills, in between sticking her jacket on a hanger.
"No, I was just-" Waiting for you. You were gone a while. "Honestly, it was a little hard to sleep." She shifts. "Did Nayeon get home?"
"Yeah. I mean, we just walked to the river and back.” She sits down on the arm of their couch. Her keys are still in her hand. “It was fine,” she says. “I think she needed it." She shrugs. "Maybe I did too."
Mina watches her. Carefully, quantifies her expression. She rubs her arm. "Well, I'm glad everything's okay."
She wonders sometimes if there’s a handbook for these things. Instructions for their specific situation of being in a girl group. How everyone’s feeling. "Do you need anything?". Or, she wonders if Jihyo’s winging it when she starts chasing fights outside.
Not the kind of person to do something without thinking first.
And honestly, Mina could use a handbook herself. 'How To Navigate Your Feelings for Park Jihyo'. Because yeah, it’s not going amazing. She does way too much thinking, herself.
"I don't wanna say it's stupid,” Jeongyeon says, “but it's Nayeon.” She exaggerates a frown, across the table. “So understand that makes it really hard for me."
She slumps forward. The palm against her cheek pulling one corner of her mouth into a smile that’s lazy and hesitant.
Mina mirrors it, and, under the table, she lightly kicks her foot. "It's not stupid though,” she gives her.
"It's not." Jeongyeon huffs. "I mean, it's serious. I hate that though,” she complains and Mina can tell. It’s eating at her.
Their dinner sits between them. Bowls of rice and Jeongyeon’s favorite food. Going out isn’t Mina’s ideal Friday night, but it’s not about her. Lately, there isn’t a lot of time to sit down and talk, so if this is their version of a walk to the river, Mina can admit she might have needed this too.
“I'm not good at that.” Jeongyeon shrugs. “Neither is Nayeon, but Nayeon is perfect, and perfect people don't have flaws or problems or-"
"Feelings."
She agrees, sharp, “yeah.”
It’s something like 8, when she gets back. She's up since 4. Her feet feel heavy falling against the carpet. She just tosses her things wherever in her room. Down the hall, Jihyo’s door is open.
Mina finds her sitting at her computer. Glasses on, a pad of paper in front of her. Her laptop is open to the side. She stalls in the doorway.
"Hi,” Jihyo says, looking over at her. Her eyes are a little wide. Mina worries that she startled her.
"Hi."
She turns away from her desk and Mina stops her. “You can keep working,” she says, and she comes up behind her chair to wrap her arms around her. Resting her chin on her head while Jihyo scrolls through a page.
"Long day?" Jihyo asks. Hangs onto her arm until Mina pulls away, humming a non-answer.
She takes a chair and slides it next to her.
"I talked to Jeongyeon,” she tells her. “We had non-alcoholic drinks, by the way."
"I was wondering.” Explains, “Usually, not so much of a hug person."
"You too."
Jihyo smiles, easily. "Eh, I trust you.”
“I’m guessing Jeongyeon is a no, then .”
Jihyo laughs. She clicks on some things, glancing over at her screen. Her chair swings from side to side. Then she gives Mina her full attention.
“How’d that go?” she asks. “How did that talking go, I mean?
"She did most of it.” Mina breathes. “I just listened."
"Yeah, you're pretty good at that."
"I try my best,” Mina jokes.
"I guess some people can make it hard."
It’s a little sharp, and it feels like another apology.
She doesn’t want her to feel sorry. For whatever reason, they’re just not on the same page. That’s probably okay. Again, Mina’s not sure. A lot of this, it’s new.
She sighs. "Can I be honest with you?" Mina starts. “I have- Well, I've known for a while-”
She swallows. There’s a pit of nerves in her stomach. She rubs her thumb, the inside of her palm. Her eyes find a spot on the floor or several — but the words aren’t there — a mess in her own head, of feelings and doubts. It all accumulates into this big lump in her throat, a dry mouth. When she looks at her, she looks just as uncertain.
Mina starts over. “Um, I just, you know, I wonder why I want to understand you so bad. Like why it hurts when you shut me out. I know it's not personal but- Sometimes it can feel like I'm chasing after you,” she admits. “You never asked me to do that, so I’m not gonna tell you to stop. But… if you need to take walks to the river, I'll go with you."
It’s not an everything-I-want-to-say-to-you. Mostly, because they’re just in the middle of her room. There’s a video open on her laptop of one of their practices. The sound of her computer running and Jihyo’s finger silently tapping against her mouse. And it’s quiet. For a moment, it’s just quiet.
“I’ll let you get back to work.”
She starts sliding her chair back and Jihyo jumps slightly. Reaches out to stop her and Mina stares.
“Sorry,” Jihyo says, first. Takes her hand off Mina’s leg. Her eyes are dark and complex, and she relaxes. Looks at her, finally, like she’s actually there. “You should stay,” she tells her. “I mean, you don't have to, obviously. And… this gets kind of boring.”
She nods. Doesn’t have to think much about it. “Boring sounds okay.”
“Your turn,” Jeongyeon says. She tosses a sports drink into her lap when she’s not looking. Laughs when Mina gives out a painful ‘thank you’.
But, “My turn?” Mina squints.
“You want me to say it out loud?”
Because it’s Jeongyeon, it sounds almost like a threat. Mina knows what she means though.
She fiddles with her drink. “I’m just… working it out,” she offers.
The practice room is kind of small.