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It was supposed to be a joke, it was supposed to be a joke, it was supposed to be a joke . Yet, he found himself standing in the hallway of the throne room while his damn Roomba was about to be knighted . The sound of machines and gears turning while Killer’s Roomba was slowly moving toward the golden shimmering throne that occupied the “Vacuum King” (he didn’t pay attention to the title since this was already ridiculous enough) who stood proudly but elegantly.
As funny as it was, on paper this shouldn’t make any sense at all. All Killer wanted to do was have a chill Thursday afternoon while the others were out doing supply runs. He wondered how strapping a small dagger to the Roomba ended up bringing him to a Knighting Ceremony (and for Vacuums apparently). He didn’t expect the joke to go so far out the rails.
Would he have to get a new Roomba at this point? Killer remembered reading about Knighting Ceremonies that after the Knighting thing, they would do their own thing or something like that.
He silently shook his head. Stars, hopefully not, that thing was way too expensive and difficult to steal from Ikea. He recalled the memory of him and Dust running out of the store all because Killer’s intrusive thoughts decided to win that day. They’re probably still banned from that Ikea if he remembered correctly.
Suddenly, the sounds of the machines quietly beeping came to a stop as the Roomba- Right it named itself. What was the name again? Roomie? He didn’t remember. This felt like some sort of fever dream he hasn’t woken up from yet, to be honest.
Anyway, the sounds came to a stop as Roomie reached the end of the hallway and patiently stood in front of the Vacuum King. Then a bunch of beeping noises came out of the King, which Killer didn’t understand (though it would be interesting to know exactly what the thing was saying). He was provided with a tablet that did have translations so he could read off of it, though it would’ve been better to actually hear it.
After a couple of beeps from the King, two more Roombas that looked similar to Roomie, but had plated iron armor (how in the world did they even get armor on those things anyway?) brought a small but decent-sized sword toward their direction. Sword in hand the King calls over Killer to the front of the throne. Confused but defeated at attempting to figure out whether or not this was real, he slowly but surely finds himself standing in front of the four machines.
Despite the vacuums being obviously smaller than the skeleton, he felt like he was a tiny person compared to them (mostly because he’s in a freaking castle but for vacuums ). The King produces a couple more beeping sounds and turns to Killer, probably for a response.
Oh yeah, he forgot that there’s talking involved in this type of stuff. With the tablet firmly grasped in his arms, he quickly read the translation before the situation got awkward.
“Do you approve of your Roomba, Roomie, to protect the lands of my kingdom and my people?”
Welp, since the joke has gone off the rails so much, he might as well dig the hole deeper, he guessed. He typed in the chat box and sent the message, as well as giving a small nod to the King.
The King nods (how does it nod?) and placed the sword on both the left and right side of Roomie while beeping a couple of sentences. After that, the King backs off and announces something while the crowd erupts into a bleeping cheering mess.
Confetti littered the ground as Killer’s Roomba was now considered a knight in this kingdom.
How in the world was he going to explain this when the others get back?
“So let me get this straight. You strapped a dagger to the Roomba and it caused a butterfly effect to where the thing ended up having a damn knighting ceremony ?” Nightmare asked while he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah, it was pretty weird,” Killer verified. “I thought I was dreaming or something but it was real.”
“And this happened in under 5 hours?!”
Killer looked around the living room to find Roomie still cleaning up the mess from the movie night they had, still having a weapon taped to its side. Only this time, the sword from the ceremony.
As stupid as it sounded, he was secretly proud and glad he got some free entertainment out of it.